I'm sick of this.
I have been trying to LD for 2 years, without success.
All of my near-experiences were 2 vivid dreams, and 40+ dreams of lucid dreaming (not LD itself), and these made me understand that it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to DILD, because, as I see....to have lucid dreams I must have a lucid dream first....via WILD/DEILD.
You could say "oh man come on you are almost there" or "keep trying" or "just take a break", but that's doesn't make any sense anymore. 2 years of frustration is a lot of time. This is a list of all the things I've tried:

-Being aware on waking life (nah, it didn't work at all, I became more aware JUST in waking life, but not in dreams, my dreams didn't change at all)
-Dream Journal (I remembered a bit more of dreams, but anything. I found that it is not neccesary to keep one as long as I want to remember my dreams and as long as I wake up in the middle of the night....)
-Mild (It didn't work at all, I tried all the possible ways..and NOTHING)
-Wild (Everything tried, sleeping in weird positions...sleeping normally...trying to sleep instead of being aware and viceversa... only caused me to have dreams of lucid dreaming....)

I even tried taking breaks of 1-2 months..and nothing.
I tried to relax and do my techniques without stressing, in a relaxing way and being hiper motivated...but nothing!
I tried, but not too much, to use my prospective memory(I'm still working on it, doing daily excercises...I'm going to stop doing them in a couple of days because I already have a very very good prospective memory, when I first started I had a 40% of accuracy...now I do 90%), so it's probably that I will keep trying with this a bit more...
I tried DEILD!! I woke up 3 WITHOUT moving...I heard a zoooom...got a bit excited...and it ended, but I often have these opportunities after a dream of lucid dreaming.

I'm not generally stressed, I do sports and all of that. But you need to understand something. The frustration of not having a LD ruined part of my life. It made me discover a lot of things, so I NEED to have one. I tried to understand that it's not really neccesary to have LD's to become successful in waking life, of course I understand that. But not having LD causes me to be apathic with those I love, causes me to lost a lot of opportunities, causes me to LOSE TIME, precious time. why? because all this time I idealized LD, and I understood it's something vital to grow. Having just 1 LD, will make me free. Being free on dreams will make me free on waking life A LOT FASTER that anything. I'm wasting some things of my life just because I didn't have a LD.
It's just that having a LD will relax my mind a lot, because when I get it at last, It will relax all my mind. Just because I accomplished something that stressed me for a lot of time. It will just make me free of this stress.

I'm tired.
What can I do?

Actually, I'm finishing my prospective memory excercise. What I'm going to do once finished, is try for 2 weeks to wake up in the middle of the dream so I Deild. If it doesn't work, then I don't know what's going to work, maybe nothing.
Come on, there is a lot of things I can do, and LD will help me stay motivated and stay fresh in life.

Bye.