Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

There is times i agree and disagree with original poster lol

Originally Posted by Crashyy

I'm feeling really sick at the moment. I just can't stop cutting myself, it's so disgusting D: I really want to stop, I don't wanna hide my arms all the time. Just because of the scars. I should get help, but I really don't want to. Cause I don't wanna talk about it. I'm such a failure though :/

Ugh that picture looks familiar. It's not the type of thing people usually take pictures of, but it looks almost the same.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I understand. It's easy for people who have not felt the desire to hurt themselves to advise you not to, and to think it's a stupid decision. To say that there's no point to it. But, in that moment, you don't care that there's no point to it. You're so miserable that you just want to do it, to take your anger/depression out on something, and punching a pillow won't help because you want to cause some actual harm. The voice in your head telling you you shouldn't is so small it's negligible. When you are that miserable, the only way to stop it is to stop being miserable. Of course I'm not advising it. I have many scars which I attained unintentionally. When i was a teenager, my cuts disappeared after a while, but when I turned 22 or so, most new cuts turned into scars, which I didn't realize would happen until it was too late. So maybe just keep that in mind. I hope you start feeling better soon.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Ugh that picture looks familiar. It's not the type of thing people usually take pictures of, but it looks almost the same.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I understand. It's easy for people who have not felt the desire to hurt themselves to advise you not to, and to think it's a stupid decision. To say that there's no point to it. But, in that moment, you don't care that there's no point to it. You're so miserable that you just want to do it, to take your anger/depression out on something, and punching a pillow won't help because you want to cause some actual harm. The voice in your head telling you you shouldn't is so small it's negligible. When you are that miserable, the only way to stop it is to stop being miserable. Of course I'm not advising it. I have many scars which I attained unintentionally. When i was a teenager, my cuts disappeared after a while, but when I turned 22 or so, most new cuts turned into scars, which I didn't realize would happen until it was too late. So maybe just keep that in mind. I hope you start feeling better soon.

Since I know this was directed to me, I've had desires to hurt myself, I'm not some saint or anything...it's not like I was devoid of emotions to speculate on desires to hurt myself. I just never followed through with it because I know I would regret it if I did. If it gets to the point where the person wants to cause actual harm to another person, that's when it gets too concerning. It's one thing to cope with depression and the desire to hurt yourself to relieve the anxiety, but it's a completely different thing to start actually hurting someone/yourself else just because a person couldn't gradually get their head straight and just breathe in for a while.

Even if punching a pillow, listening to music that calms you down, or something else that can help alleviate the anxiety a bit doesn't seem reasonable in solving the problems, at least it's more practical than cutting yourself. Whether or not the other action only increases your urge to cause harm, at least with control, the person hopefully realizes that it's just to have a sense of relief.

Yes, there are states where people just give up, they've completely surrendered to any reasoning from their mind to help them, they invite negative thoughts to further their depression....

It's easy for people who have not felt the desire to hurt themselves to advise you not to, and to think it's a stupid decision.

Implying that I never had that thought at all, thanks a lot Dianeva, I'm glad that someone thinks my brain is completely devoid of emotions and those thoughts. So happy right now. Really means a lot!

Well, it is a stupid decision, no matter what excuse you try to put it as. Denying that it's anything other than a stupid decision is a stupid rationale in the first place. It's common sense that cutting yourself is a negative expression of trying to relieve yourself because that person is in a mindset where all viable options are suddenly gone. But it doesn't justify their purpose of just saying "Ahhh fuck it, I don't care"....it doesn't make that action reasonable or the truth.

I've had many situations where I was in complete helplessness and never bothered to think about other ways to gradually solve my problems, but aiming to still try is a lot better than being a defeatist.

To say that there's no point to it. But, in that moment, you don't care that there's no point to it.

Being in a state of extreme helplessness to the point where you block off the voice inside that knows you're going too far into enacting revenge or being spiteful to another person is very dangerous. With control, people can find other ways to sublimate those desires to harm where no one gets hurt; the person blows off some steam another way, that's why there's no point in trying to harm another person. Because if a person is willing to think that and premeditate actions to do it, it could lead to even deeper acts of harm to where they're not the victim anymore.

(Perfect example: Killing someone else because of you not being able to learn from your mistakes and improve; don't think you could justify that person's killing because they were a victim of bullying or depression as a plausible reason) <- Because with the logic you're going there, that could motivate people who even more gullible and are easily swayed to do things like that.

Most of these actions are just to have a sense of relief, but it's not to have a sense of happiness (because it's not happiness if that person keeps damaging themselves to think they're going to be content with it.

When you are that miserable, the only way to stop it is to stop being miserable.

If a person is that miserable, they won't even be able to have that awareness to just stop being miserable.

I know that everyone gives each other positive reinforcement with these types of things, but if it gets to the point where a person might fuck up a body part, just telling them intentions for the best only makes them want to do it more. People do insane things just to get attention, because it's better than to be shunned by everyone. Even if their method of getting attention is damaging to themselves, subconsciously, they're fixating on the benefit of getting closure from temporary support.

That's why it's a vicious cycle, that's why it's a stupid decision. That's why it's easier to find other ways that can make you feel better without potentially risking yourself to the point where the love of your family, friends, and others all go in vain.

You don't need to actually have to cut yourself or damage yourself to see the obvious or learn from it. Too many people rely on specific experiences in these damaging endeavors (keyword "specific" on this self-damage act alone) and think that simple observation isn't useful at all. They block off the mind's amazing mechanism to question and try to justify why they're doing the act in the first place.

It isn't easy, but finding that answer gradually is a hell of a lot better option to fight for than to just think people who haven't done it don't understand. -_____-

When they try to find closure from others who endured with it only say "good luck," "wish you the best," and never give ways how they can deal with it, it seems unreasonable to pull the "You don't know how it feels" card. Bullshit, but I guess since I have a brain that's completely devoid of simulating how it may feel, I guess it wouldn't make sense because I'm just a robot!

These aren't rare feelings that can only be unlocked through actually experiencing it. It's like everyone is trying to be special saying that you can only know how it feels when you actually do; this specific act isn't rare, it's been so generalized and observed it's not even funny.

It wasn't directed at you specifically. I only skimmed through your post. It was directed to Crashy, with the intention that he might know some people understand what he's going through, so that he doesn't feel he's being called stupid, on top of everything else he's going through, when he may not be (depends on his reasons for cutting).

No one is talking about causing harm to another person. I don't know why you kept mentioning that. But, in any situation, if it seems to make the most sense to do something, then that person will do it. That includes the desires to murder and rape. Even though it makes no sense to the rest of us, everyone is always justified in doing whatever makes the most sense to them. If they've neglected to consider some sensible reason not to, then it is simply an oversight, and they cannot be blamed for the mistake. If they consciously ignore their sense of reason, then that means the desire to murder or w/e was stronger, at the time, than their desire to be reasonable. In either case, the person is not at fault. Either a strong emotion overruled others, or they made a mistake.

If it feels like cutting oneself is the only thing that's going to help them relieve stress, then the person is going to cut themselves. I am talking about the state of hopelessness in which one doesn't care anymore. Your suggestion that those things are still "more practical than cutting yourself" is irrelevant when you know that they won't help at all.

If the person can find healthier ways to relieve themselves, then of course they should do those other things. But, again, I am talking about the state in which it really doesn't feel there is anything else they can do.

I didn't mean that they should just "stop being miserable" in that moment for no reason. More that with time, if their life gets better, they'll eventually stop having the desires.

Basically, when someone wants to inflict harm upon themselves, they obviously carry some self-loathing and do not care about themselves. It would be reasonable to assume that, in this situation, they will not care about the long-term effects they'll have to deal with either. They've decided that the benefits of harming themselves outweigh the harm it will cause. Unless, of course, they're simply not thinking about the negative effects, in which case it would help to remind them, or for them to remember themselves.

Crashy said that he covers the scars. If other people don't know he has them, then he isn't doing it for attention, unless it's to get attention from the people he tells, like us.

I'm not trying to advocate cutting oneself. I'm just explaining that all actions are justified to the person doing them in that moment. And that, in this case, telling the person that they're being stupid and should do something else instead often won't work. Maybe in some cases, the person really just wanted attention, wanted someone to tell them to stop, or they really weren't thinking rationally and are helped in being reminded of the negative impacts. But, most of the time, people aren't that stupid. We've all heard countless anti-self-harm awareness videos/posts/ads/opinions. They know all of the negative impacts but are still deciding to do it because the emotion is just that strong.

Also, cutting really isn't that bad. People just hype it up to make it seem worse than it is. You aren't doing any permanent harm to yourself. Sure, you risk infection, but some skateboarder or mountain climber who gets cut up in a more socially acceptable way might also risk infection, and they aren't ostracized. Besides that, there is scarring, which I think is a valid concern.

Again, I'm not saying that anyone should cut themselves. It doesn't really solve anything and I'd agree that it's ultimately 'bad' to do in most cases. But it still makes sense for the person who is doing it at the time. Most people don't seem to understand the state in which you don't care anymore about the negative effects of self-harm. If someone wants to hurt themselves, they've often considered it all, but decide to do it anyway because the desire is just that strong. At that point, someone pointing out to them that they shouldn't cut themselves because it won't solve anything is just an annoyance. Perhaps if something the person hadn't considered before were brought up, it may help them, and then it would be worth trying to talk the person out of it. But yeah... I just keep repeating myself.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

It wasn't directed at you specifically. I only skimmed through your post. It was directed to Crashy, with the intention that he might know some people understand what he's going through, so that he doesn't feel he's being called stupid, on top of everything else he's going through, when he may not be (depends on his reasons for cutting).

I know you weren't aimed at me, but what you said

It's easy for people who have not felt the desire to hurt themselves to advise you not to

, it's aimed for people who did that, which I just tried to do for Crashyy. I know you weren't out to get me, but what you said was for those people in general.

No one is talking about causing harm to another person. I don't know why you kept mentioning that

Because of,

And punching a pillow won't help because you want to cause some actual harm

I know you didn't say "harm another person," I was just responding to how that punching a pillow or whatever object usually leads to someone trying to sublimate that through someone else if they don't know how to moderate the temptation.

Like a person using a punching bag and only using that bag to sublimate their desires to hurt someone. When they become exhausted and feel tired from letting off the steam, they'll realize that when they encounter that person that makes them want to hit them, they'll realize they're not a big deal after all. That's why I responded to that.

But, in any situation, if it seems to make the most sense to do something, then that person will do it. That includes the desires to murder and rape. Even though it makes no sense to the rest of us, everyone is always justified in doing whatever makes the most sense to them. If they've neglected to consider some sensible reason not to, then it is simply an oversight, and they cannot be blamed for the mistake. If they consciously ignore their sense of reason, then that means the desire to murder or w/e was stronger, at the time, than their desire to be reasonable. In either case, the person is not at fault. Either a strong emotion overruled others, or they made a mistake.

I agree with everything but the last two sentences and that they can't be blamed for the mistake. To say that person is not at fault because it's either

a strong emotion overruled others, or they made a mistake,

seems unreasonable, it's still their fault either way. To say they couldn't control their actions, whether if it was unconscious reflexes, etc., those cases usually end up to the person just trying to deny they didn't make the conscious decision (be it through them using the "insanity plea" that isn't supported or other means of justification). And I'm saying this in relation to a person using that as justification as to why they killed someone.

If it feels like cutting oneself is the only thing that's going to help them relieve stress, then the person is going to cut themselves. I am talking about the state of hopelessness in which one doesn't care anymore. Your suggestion that those things are still "more practical than cutting yourself" is irrelevant when you know that they won't help at all.

I think you're misunderstanding things here. I didn't say the other suggestions are fix-it-alls, that's what happens when you skim through the post and didn't see what I actually said. I said those other ways are more practical than cutting yourself because they have a better gradual positive result than just cutting yourself. They don't show results immediately, but if a person keeps practicing them, they will find results, or find other ways from that.

It may not help completely, but it's a more reasonable way of trying to solve the problem, that's why I said they're more practical than cutting yourself. They don't solve the situation, they just have a better chance (but not guarantee obviously) of helping that person come to a better realization and take action that helps them.

Example: A person saying they can get through a certain illness through brute mental devotion and not taking medication that is obviously going to help them. It would obviously be better/practical for them to take the medication instead of thinking it's just a mental game they have to conquer; which is why those other suggestions (and other obvious ones) of sublimating those strong emotions have less detriments and more benefits. They have less risk of a person deciding, "hey it's the best I got and I have to make do with it."

If the person can find healthier ways to relieve themselves, then of course they should do those other things. But, again, I am talking about the state in which it really doesn't feel there is anything else they can do.

And like I've stated in my post before about the extreme state of hopelessness, even if they're so far into the darkness of finding answers, they still have the chance to be aware of other ways to find solution. But it's when they just give up completely ( like when you said they consciously ignore it) is when it makes them more than a victim.

Basically, when someone wants to inflict harm upon themselves, they obviously carry some self-loathing and do not care about themselves. It would be reasonable to assume that, in this situation, they will not care about the long-term effects they'll have to deal with either. They've decided that the benefits of harming themselves outweigh the harm it will cause. Unless, of course, they're simply not thinking about the negative effects, in which case it would help to remind them, or for them to remember themselves.

That's why, if you read the post, I said people do that subconsciously because they fixate on that benefit and forget it's only temporary. It's up to that person to find other ways to find less detriments and more benefits that can last longer without them imposing harm among themselves.

Crashy said that he covers the scars. If other people don't know he has them, then he isn't doing it for attention, unless it's to get attention from the people he tells, like us.

I understand that DreamViews is a way for some people to be comfortable with others because we're usually in that same mentality as them, or at least experienced it before. Even so, it doesn't mean someone else from a random portion of the internet might understand the sense of hospitality/understanding people try to give here on DV. They might take it the wrong way, and get a different impression. From your view, from your own stage of reality, you've already presumed that we're understanding (implied by "us" in your quotations), and that's all fine and good....but from someone who might lurk into the forum and barely know about the modicum of social aspect of it can take it the wrong way.

Which is why people will assume that person is trying to get attention and it can branch off into them showing that to others, making a bad impression. I never said he was seeking attention, I just said people within his same situation usually do. I know he tries his best to show his family and friends that he's alright. I know he doesn't go willy-nilly showing his scars like that to them. I'm just saying that any picture like that gets posted on the Internet has a chance of it being interpreted in the wrong way.

Even if DV is a secure place in your perception, it doesn't mean it won't be distributed somewhere else in the Internet and taken the wrong way. That's all I'm trying to say.

I'm not trying to advocate cutting oneself. I'm just explaining that all actions are justified to the person doing them in that moment. And that, in this case, telling the person that they're being stupid and should do something else instead often won't work.

I'll tell you why it doesn't work. A person going through things like this seeks advice from people who actually experienced it. They have the disposition that this person will surely help them because they conquered it. If they actually followed a person's advice and improve from that, then good!

But when it doesn't work, it's because people don't take action or follow through, it's when they start only relying on other people's experiences and disregards anyone's advice that didn't experience it; knowing clear as day that advice from both sides have the same suggestion, that's when they reached the point of rejection and losing progress of improving.

This is why when you said,

It's easy for people who have not felt the desire to hurt themselves to advise you not to, and to think it's a stupid decision. To say that there's no point to it.

I felt as if this was just irrational. Because whatever the source of advice is coming from, whether it's from someone experienced in it or not, the person receiving it doesn't take into consideration and take action. That's why it's irrelevant to you, which just didn't make sense at all. The advice is there, but if the person getting advice doesn't follow it or take action, that's when the advice is useless or pointless to them at the moment.

Maybe in some cases, the person really just wanted attention, wanted someone to tell them to stop, or they really weren't thinking rationally and are helped in being reminded of the negative impacts. But, most of the time, people aren't that stupid. We've all heard countless anti-self-harm awareness videos/posts/ads/opinions. They know all of the negative impacts but are still deciding to do it because the emotion is just that strong.

Of course! But those people aren't stupid, it's just that they weren't aware, and people won't directly make it obvious that they use attention from others to come to a realization, that's why it's done subconsciously without them knowing about it.

Also, cutting really isn't that bad. People just hype it up to make it seem worse than it is. You aren't doing any permanent harm to yourself. Sure, you risk infection, but some skateboarder or mountain climber who gets cut up in a more socially acceptable way might also risk infection, and they aren't ostracized. Besides that, there is scarring, which I think is a valid concern.

Well, you have the understanding that it's not that bad because you didn't go that far into extremism, but like you said, there are people who hype it up too much and go too far into it (and they can do that extremism physically). Even though you didn't really do things that damaging, people might start getting even more serious and go crazy. There's still people that can make deeper cuts and potentially be at risk for more things other than an infection. The comparison to another person being likely to get an infection as a socially acceptable way isn't really getting anywhere here, yes, I know there's other ways a person can get an infection, but that's because they didn't have intention.

When the person does have intention through cutting (whether or not they were aware of it), it's a completely different spectrum. When there's intent, it has to be taken differently than things that can happen unintentionally. And to say a person may cut themselves unintentionally when they're cutting themselves, as if they went into a trance or something is just silliness; it's still a part of themselves that's doing it.

Again, I'm not saying that anyone should cut themselves. It doesn't really solve anything and I'd agree that it's ultimately 'bad' to do in most cases. But it still makes sense for the person who is doing it at the time. Most people don't seem to understand the state in which you don't care anymore about the negative effects of self-harm. If someone wants to hurt themselves, they've often considered it all, but decide to do it anyway because the desire is just that strong.

I don't think you're trying to be a bad person or trying to support anything like that, but I saw you were going through a lot of denying and assuming a certain action isn't so bad when it's clearly not because people can go further than what you did.

At that point, someone pointing out to them that they shouldn't cut themselves because it won't solve anything is just an annoyance.

Which brings me back to what I said that other ways are at least more reasonable than just giving up. To say that it's an annoyance is what makes it irrational to think so. (I know you're just saying it in the perspective of the person cutting themselves though)

---

Anyway, I didn't want to have any bad intentions for you if you're wondering that, and I'm sorry if it seemed like I did. I know you're a good person, it's just the ideas you mentioned felt unreasonable, but I wasn't aiming at you as a person, just the ideas.

Link, I thought you of all people would understand.

Cutting yourself is just another way to try and escape from depression, like drinking too much, like taking drugs, like isolating oneself socially. We all know these are things we shouldn't do, and we all know that these are things that won't help in the long run. But when you're sufficiently depressed you don't care about that, you're just desperately searching for any way to cope. Trying your hardest to survive moment to moment, and you just don't have the energy and motivation to do something more long term. That is why it's so important for someone else to help.

Link's right in that you need to put in effort to look at the bright side.

If I was with you in person I would slap you in the face (in a friendly way ).
You're lucky you have people that care about you, you're lucky your family cares about you and wants you to do well.

You're lucky you have the money to go to school, an opportunity to go in to the family business if other things fail.
You're lucky you have friends.

Focus on that.

Okay, i sound a bit innocent here, so i'm gonna bring this out now, and it's true and may sound even crazier than crashy's problem but the only difference is i don't cut myself. My problem is centered on a telepathic connection with someone (a guy that i dream of often and have communications through mind and spirit), once i knew i was getting feedback and it is a true connection, noticing that there is something since 2 years ago or more.
So once i noticed that i wasn't getting feedback for 2-3days, be either dreams or telepathy, i would think about cutting myself and start telepathically saying i just want to do this to me because i am getting nothing from you, so when i do this, idk people....if this is my inner voice or his, but i know when i do this i get his communicay asap! Like he knows what i think, all i hear is "No, don't do it please." Then i get vibes from him and i forget about it. By the way, for this to happen i have to be very depressed and feel a wall blocking between me and him, so i go nuts and want to cry and get mad all at once.
I know, i'm crazy, everyone has to have some kind of crazy in them see, i observed. lol

Originally Posted by hathor28

Okay, i sound a bit innocent here, so i'm gonna bring this out now, and it's true and may sound even crazier than crashy's problem but the only difference is i don't cut myself. My problem is centered on a telepathic connection with someone (a guy that i dream of often and have communications through mind and spirit), once i knew i was getting feedback and it is a true connection, noticing that there is something since 2 years ago or more.
So once i noticed that i wasn't getting feedback for 2-3days, be either dreams or telepathy, i would think about cutting myself and start telepathically saying i just want to do this to me because i am getting nothing from you, so when i do this, idk people....if this is my inner voice or his, but i know when i do this i get his communicay asap! Like he knows what i think, all i hear is "No, don't do it please." Then i get vibes from him and i forget about it. By the way, for this to happen i have to be very depressed and feel a wall blocking between me and him, so i go nuts and want to cry and get mad all at once.
I know, i'm crazy, everyone has to have some kind of crazy in them see, i observed. lol

I know I can't really back you up with that, since what you're experiencing is through your own perception, but if it's your inner voice or someone you feel might exist in some other realm or whatever, I would presume it would be easier to get a message from him quickly because you're just used to getting into that. Even so, if he doesn't communicate back or talk to you for a while, you have to think about how he would feel with you doing that. (contemplating on cutting, etc.) I've seen how much you appreciate this inner voice or other person in your dreams and such (mostly skimming through your DJ in the past, forgive me ), and if you had a bond with them for that long, if they don't communicate back, it's probably for some other reason, but it's definitely not them ignoring you or anything like that.

I think you should appreciate the times when you do communicate with him, and just know he's not going to be there 24/7. Just be yourself, you can survive for a few days without that inner voice/person/spiritual being. As I'm sure he worries about your well-being as well, he can handle himself when he has to do things on his own, you can do the same. I know how much it feels to have consistent communication with someone like that, it makes us feel better and more appreciative about this life, and when it's temporarily severed, it sucks. But trust me, if this person you've been with has been there for some time, there's going to be periods of solitude on both ends, but it's not the end of the world.

And don't worry about being called crazy, this is a dreaming forum, and a lot of things can happen where people find things that makes them feel happy or have comfort. As long as your comfortable with what you experience and can still live life the way you want, just stick with it and don't worry about what others think.

Because when a person calls a person crazy on this forum, chances are, that other person is just as crazy, so it's a crazy within a crazy having crazies over crazies....see how crazy it is? No big deal

Have you tried asking this person in your dreams to offer you his visual on how he sees you? You know, like being in his shoes or having his "eyes." I've known someone who asked their spirit guide/dream guide/etc. do that for them, and they had a complete 180 in how they see themselves.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

I know I can't really back you up with that, since what you're experiencing is through your own perception, but if it's your inner voice or someone you feel might exist in some other realm or whatever, I would presume it would be easier to get a message from him quickly because you're just used to getting into that. Even so, if he doesn't communicate back or talk to you for a while, you have to think about how he would feel with you doing that. (contemplating on cutting, etc.) I've seen how much you appreciate this inner voice or other person in your dreams and such (mostly skimming through your DJ in the past, forgive me ), and if you had a bond with them for that long, if they don't communicate back, it's probably for some other reason, but it's definitely not them ignoring you or anything like that.

I think you should appreciate the times when you do communicate with him, and just know he's not going to be there 24/7. Just be yourself, you can survive for a few days without that inner voice/person/spiritual being. As I'm sure he worries about your well-being as well, he can handle himself when he has to do things on his own, you can do the same. I know how much it feels to have consistent communication with someone like that, it makes us feel better and more appreciative about this life, and when it's temporarily severed, it sucks. But trust me, if this person you've been with has been there for some time, there's going to be periods of solitude on both ends, but it's not the end of the world.

And don't worry about being called crazy, this is a dreaming forum, and a lot of things can happen where people find things that makes them feel happy or have comfort. As long as your comfortable with what you experience and can still live life the way you want, just stick with it and don't worry about what others think.

Because when a person calls a person crazy on this forum, chances are, that other person is just as crazy, so it's a crazy within a crazy having crazies over crazies....see how crazy it is? No big deal

Have you tried asking this person in your dreams to offer you his visual on how he sees you? You know, like being in his shoes or having his "eyes." I've known someone who asked their spirit guide/dream guide/etc. do that for them, and they had a complete 180 in how they see themselves.

I also wanted to edit that it's not only wanting to just cut myself, i actually think of doing so and kill myself, but thanks for him he prevents it from happening and breaks the barrier at that time. I also get his mood swings sometimes i get in a foul mood for no reason at all.
And i'm sure if you read my djs and threads, it's all about a past life connection that needs to be confronted but idk when it will.

You should take my suggestion more seriously, I know what I'm talking about. Next time the impulse strikes, give it compassionate observation. This is not easy, and you may need to recede into something greater than yourself. I will not tell you what to expect when you do this because I do not want you to wait for the impulse to change but rather see it as it is.

I hope you are talking to crashy, because what i got is in a totally different mindset.

I am talking to anyone with a dark impulse. Whether it's your own or something you're receiving from someone else.

Have you tried asking this person in your dreams to offer you his visual on how he sees you? You know, like being in his shoes or having his "eyes." I've known someone who asked their spirit guide/dream guide/etc. do that for them, and they had a complete 180 in how they see themselves.

I don't think guides come to you and say, "I had a dream about you last night that i was (insert happenings)..." and it was just that last night but in a different dream scene. I encountered my guide before and he (yes another male) never says things like that and is very cold in terms of emotional compassion to me, he has none what so ever towards me.

Originally Posted by hathor28

I don't think guides come to you and say, "I had a dream about you last night that i was (insert happenings)..." and it was just that last night but in a different dream scene. I encountered my guide before and he (yes another male) never says things like that and is very cold in terms of emotional compassion to me, he has none what so ever towards me.

I agree that guides don't do that so easily, probably because you as a person have to shift yourself to the right frequency/mindset/thought process to be able to mingle and socialize with them. Which is why when you talked about not having communication with that special someone, it might be because they felt you're not into the groove, or into the mindset you're usually in to talk to them. Then again, they could also shift into your current mood set and do the same, but they can't connect because you might be distracted with other things.

And when you look up to them as a higher aspect, it's up to you to shift yourself accordingly, because they won't come down just like that, and if they do, it's most likely just a projection of an artificial personality with their behavioral traits, etc. I think this is why people prefer to use dreaming to communicate because they feel it has "practical" spiritualism, and trying to transcend them into a form into waking life seems far-fetched to them. I always thought that if a person is willing to go through lucid dreaming induction methods to meet their dream guide/lover/etc., it means they had to have temptations to stretch their existence into waking life, even if the projection isn't tangible.

But for the sake of them not being labeled as too crazy, they just use dreaming as a conduit because it's more "tolerable" to dreaming/spiritual communities and such. I just figured that going through all the effort when you can have a pretty damn close projection of them would make a person ease off from being depressed if they're not communicating to them in their dreams for a few days/weeks/months. That way, you see them in your reality, and your dreams, but not many people in this forum really think about doing that because they probably think they can't handle it, or just don't want to be the "yOu CraY Boy" or "yOu duN g0obed" kind of crazy to other people.


And as for the other male who's your guide, maybe he's like that because deep down, you want someone that's consistent and isn't so open to you emotionally. Kind of like having a guide with a mental filter; someone that forces you to question and have reasoning before taking action or investing belief...and they go through extensive speculation before being emotionally expressive to the ones who see them as guides. Or it could just be an aspect of yourself that you used to be before, but that same part just grew by themselves without you realizing it. Who knows?

I know people don't believe in psychics, but i been to many different ones and they all are saying the exact same thing about this guy i know from back then, it basically made me scared shitless and one of them said that he is a very complicated person to understand, some psychics even catch up on few of his negativities and it's also coming from the people he is mostly around with making him very distracted, reason why i go to suicide mode. But once connection is on going, he notices easily, so do i.
Reason why connection is strong, because of regrets from past life and this life is combining, we both were in same classes for 2 yrs, and what he saw that i know keeps bothering him is he seen me keep getting bullied from other students because other people gets mad whenever me and him are enjoying ourselves in conversation and company, another reason why he kept his distance at times, it was very hard times for both of us, i keep thinking about it sometimes, i bet he is too. He still talks about me to only a trusted friend, and no on else.
I got bullied and sometimes i stand my ground because i got fed up with them, but it didn't help also.

Originally Posted by Original Poster

Sounds pretty legit. Do you always feel this way?

Most of the time, yeah. But I'm happy sometimes though. Like if I go to a gig or concert from my favorite band. Other than that, I don't have anything else to live for.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Most of the time, yeah. But I'm happy sometimes though. Like if I go to a gig or concert from my favorite band. Other than that, I don't have anything else to live for.

Music is your cure!

Originally Posted by hathor28

I know people don't believe in psychics, but i been to many different ones and they all are saying the exact same thing about this guy i know from back then, it basically made me scared shitless and one of them said that he is a very complicated person to understand, some psychics even catch up on few of his negativities and it's also coming from the people he is mostly around with making him very distracted, reason why i go to suicide mode. But once connection is on going, he notices easily, so do i.
Reason why connection is strong, because of regrets from past life and this life is combining, we both were in same classes for 2 yrs, and what he saw that i know keeps bothering him is he seen me keep getting bullied from other students because other people gets mad whenever me and him are enjoying ourselves in conversation and company, another reason why he kept his distance at times, it was very hard times for both of us, i keep thinking about it sometimes, i bet he is too. He still talks about me to only a trusted friend, and no on else.
I got bullied and sometimes i stand my ground because i got fed up with them, but it didn't help also.

Originally Posted by hathor28

I know people don't believe in psychics, but i been to many different ones and they all are saying the exact same thing about this guy i know from back then, it basically made me scared shitless and one of them said that he is a very complicated person to understand, some psychics even catch up on few of his negativities and it's also coming from the people he is mostly around with making him very distracted, reason why i go to suicide mode. But once connection is on going, he notices easily, so do i.
Reason why connection is strong, because of regrets from past life and this life is combining, we both were in same classes for 2 yrs, and what he saw that i know keeps bothering him is he seen me keep getting bullied from other students because other people gets mad whenever me and him are enjoying ourselves in conversation and company, another reason why he kept his distance at times, it was very hard times for both of us, i keep thinking about it sometimes, i bet he is too. He still talks about me to only a trusted friend, and no on else.
I got bullied and sometimes i stand my ground because i got fed up with them, but it didn't help also.

This reminds me of aspects of the Akashic records and things about karmic families (where everyone has to take the blame if a family member does something bad). For this kind of stuff, when you're going to many psychics and getting the same results, I would understand how it would make you scared shitless. Maybe the psychics just had similar realizations since you were probably specific to them, or maybe it's actually past life elements. (which would seem rare with what psychics usually try to do to get your money)

I know I'm the last person to give advice on relationships, real/spiritual/paranormal/etc., but if it's a challenge to fight the conflicts and regrets you have, and you know why he became distant (to prevent conflict from others), then it's a good thing. He's more thoughtful and puts you on higher priority than himself, he's willing to sacrifice the joy he has with you because he sees the bigger picture. At least to my knowledge with past lives that transcends to potentially future lives, being able to see the bigger picture is the first step towards having the everlasting or long-term bonding with that person.

I'm still skeptical about past lives, but in it's presumptive terms:

- There are just some people in past lives that have to settle the score before they can move on (which may be something he has to do personally to prevent your thoughts and his combining that makes you go suicide mode); He's trying to catch up, but he's still attached to the past.

-There are just some people that can move on, but the other person isn't able to catch up because they have conflicts themselves (in this case, it would be you, and he's trying to help you catch up so you don't have regrets pulling you down)

It seems in your case with him, it's a mix of both. But whether or not it probably might be an elaborate scheme your subconscious creates because of your own deep desires, I think it's important for you to see the bigger picture as well. Because it's clear as day that he knows that, especially what he's willing to give up for your well-being. Maybe he wants to poke you a bit and hope you do the same. Maybe then when both of you see the bigger picture (that both of you have to work together through these conflicts), you'll have more appreciation that someone is there all the way to the end.

Maybe he wants you to break the shackles from the past that has stopped his progress with you, maybe you're the only one that can help, and it's up to you to start moderating how you think (which I'm sure you're doing your best to do) so you set him in the right direction, which is to just appreciate the present, and not making you suffer from his own regrets. But that's just my presumption, I apologize if I went too far there.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

Especially with school and your situation, I understand how rough it seems, especially with those bullies that take advantage of you. You have to realize that it's because they have a shitty experience themselves in validating an identity that they pick on you to make themselves feel better.

Speculate on this a bit more...are you willing to ruin your body like that just because bullies pick on you? Just because they have their own problems and have the need to feel superior to fill their void of insecurities?

I used to get bullied but not anymore. So that's not the reason why I cut myself. I just hate myself and my life. I've been cutting for months now, and so far all my cuts disappeared. So I'm willing to continue if they keep disappearing. It just makes me feel better, even if it's just for a minute. :L

Originally Posted by hathor28

Music is your cure!

Yeah it sorta is. It saved my life a couple of times, but I'm just not sure how much longer I can go through with life ;c

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Most of the time, yeah. But I'm happy sometimes though. Like if I go to a gig or concert from my favorite band. Other than that, I don't have anything else to live for.

Hey, you're a nice guy, and I know that you're the kind of person that wants to let everyone in your life that you truly care for to not worry too much about you. It's definitely an admirable trait to put more priority on satisfying others than yourself. Maybe in time, you'll know that what you're living for is right in front of you; the people you meet, friends, and especially family. Maybe they're not that way to you now, but as a friend, I just hope that you see things through the end.

It gets way better when you leave High School (or whatever system of labeling for your grade level). Just keep pushing through Crashyy.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

I used to get bullied but not anymore. So that's not the reason why I cut myself. I just hate myself and my life. I've been cutting for months now, and so far all my cuts disappeared. So I'm willing to continue if they keep disappearing. It just makes me feel better, even if it's just for a minute. :L

Like hathor said, music is your cure. If that's something that keeps you going, stick to it. You might find other things you like doing from it, and you might find more things about yourself that you never thought you could do. I think there's more to you than what you limit yourself to be. Not trying to instill self-fulfilling prophecies here *cough*, but just remember the self-loathing just happens when you get really anxious. Like Omnis said (with more detail this time), just be aware and know there are other ways, there's always some way, but take some action as well. It may not solve everything, but at least you're trying.

Just try, you're not pathetic or horrible at all. Everyone has something unique about themselves, you just have to be honest with yourself and find what you like. I used to think that people that I thought were unique could just be replaced with someone else, but a good friend of mine who ended up being my lover taught me it's not like that. Unfortunately, it was too late for me to tell her that, but at least now I know I can't just "throw" people away like that.

You're on point there Link, but about the psychic thing, i told about the dream i had that had a message for me, and i didn't say a word about us share dreaming, and she says he PEEPS in my dreams!
She stated that he is escalating his self confidence now so he can be ready to confront me soon, he had really bad self confidence, and she also said that only i can bring his "old self" back (i am shaking a bit now to even grasp this statement!) and that he needs this to happen and he is now realizing the true importance of me in his life and why did it take so long for this to happen, and it was his mistake to keep his feelings hidden and feels bad for it.
And i said nothing about us having a past life connection.