Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by dave1701

Maybe they're just trying to say that you look good and trying to give you some confidence?

That would lead me to have a narcissistic disorder. Getting positive treatment, being false or actually genuine will only make me more considerate of how I look like, which would make me put an invisible pressure on how others should look like, and that's not a good path for me to take right now.

Then I'll start thinking all of them are saying it for positive and genuine nature, which is going to make me use others for ego-boosting, and that can only last for so long before one gets too desperate to get people's insights on how a person looks.

Then I'll start becoming selfish, I might even hate those who actually love me...then I'll turn into a megalomaniac, then when I get older, I'll regret it.



I rather just stay in the shadows instead.













































































For now.

I think you're wonderful, Link.

My son smells.


He smells because someone at his school sprayed him with Axe.


Axe is disgusting.


My son smells.

Originally Posted by melanieb

I think you're wonderful, Link.

My son smells.


He smells because someone at his school sprayed him with Axe.


Axe is disgusting.


My son smells.

Hose 'em off?

He's in the shower now.

He better use soap!

That's all I got to say on that.

Allergies, allergies, allergies. Snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, and a double-shot of snot.

I want to have my sinuses surgically removed. They do nothing good for me.

lol, AnderJ but I know the feeling. Only, I have to "dig for gold" for about 5 minutes as soon as I wake up because allergies clog my nose up so badly :blush:
I've watched a couple episodes of House now that mentioned nose picking and I'm like "Crap. Doctors can tell?" lol But if you can't breathe, you can't breathe
Hope you find some sort of relief soon!

Melanie, you wouldn't be able to stand my son. He naturally smells often. He doesn't shower for long enough. When he does shower, he uses Axe He's also majorly obese so he sweats a lot and develops a fungal infection under his pits a couple times a year.

My rant is that I just took my major anxiety med, which I can't recall what it's called. I've not taken any for over a month and I only took 1/2 but it has made me a little dizzy. I took it because I HAVE to be asleep by midnight (it knocks me out) because I'm having blood work done in the AM. Glucose is included in the blood panel, so I have to fast. But, at least I'll know how to proceed once I get the results.
I probably wouldn't have fallen asleep before 2AM otherwise.

My bunny is ranting because I failed to clean out his container today. And Snuffanuff is ranting because I wont let him inside.
Ah well... time to check my Farms then hit the bed...
Goodnight DV.

I bit my fingernail down way to far today.

And I have posted on this thread way too much for my own good today.

It really surprises me how absolutely stupid my brother can be. I just walked my dog in the rain because since we've been renovating, ripping out carpet, putting tiles in, taken the kitchen out, putting a new one in soon; he hasn't been able to come inside. He's started to get really anxious not knowing what is going on. He's is still being walked, but it has been pissing down rain the pass two days. I grab the umbrella and take my dog out for a walk, he doesn't mind the rain at all.
After coming home and crawling through a 1.5 foot gap they left open for the water to drain out of the garage - let's just recap that. I go out of the garage to walk my dog and they virtually close it. Try getting through that with a large golden retriever. Anyway, then I wiped my dog dry with a few towels - or at least as dry as towels can get, I go back out through the garage and towards the front door.
The rain picks up and it is absolutely pissing down by the point. I'm standing out the front door, ringing the doorbell (started ringing it continuously after 3 minutes). About 4 minutes in, I hear my brother from the back of the house "I'm in the shower!" REALLY NOW. Like i give a fuck that you're showering. I'm standing out in the piss cold, put a bloody towel on and open the door for me! You walked in the shower knowing that I was in the backyard drying Hero (my dog) off and the front door locked. Where is the logic in that, even? He comes open the door after about 7 minutes.. I counted.
And this isn't a one time thing that we escape through the back to get inside. It's to avoid letting my dog it. Normally letting my dog in wouldn't be a problem but since he's wet and we've got a crap load of furniture piled up from tiling and no kitchen, it is. He knows that. I don't know where the fudge his brain is at the moment.

This morning mum, dad and I were all up cleaning all the dust that had been spread through the house from the jackhammering of the old tiles. Guess where my brother is? Still in bed because he decided to stay up late playing video games with his friends. You'd expect when he finally does wake up, he'd start helping. Okay, he does.. but he's got so much of that piss-ass attitude teenagers give, that it ticks me off incredibly. I can't stand him and/or his attitude.

Here I thought my three half-sisters spread out in the USA and Canada were ignorant, sorry to hear that, fOrceez.

At least you're the good sibling!

I still have to prove to my father that I won't be like my half-sisters.

Oh damn, it's 6 AM again and I haven't managed to get to bed. Why does this keep happening? I've got things to avoid doing.

It's so much fun hacking till the sun rises. I'm currently having to do it during the day due to circumstances.

f0rceez, I know you're a swell guy and all, but there comes a time when every well seasoned older brother needs to give his younger shit-head brother a punch in the nose. Same thing happened to my 2 younger brothers and now they're yearly-snow-boarding-in-Idaho-and-sometimes-Massachusetts-buddies.

Give that little fucker a black-eye. Then a swirly. And then another black-eye. He's kinda crying for it.

You know, after trying to keep up with a dream journal, being used to certain dream signs, but still not being able to get as lucid as I want to, but still motivating myself to push on, there are just moments where I still screw up.

I just feel that even when I try to sleep for a certain amount of hours, have a somewhat decent sleep schedule, nothing is working out for me. I know there are people who spent years trying to master lucid dreaming only to get a few, but that doesn't mean I'm going to think that's the the prerequisite before I start having lucid dreams, sometimes I wonder if it's just the fact that people go on and off from lucid dreaming that makes it span over the years.

Things like experiencing unconditional love, releasing emotional attachment from waking life, finding your higher self, all of these to make yourself feel whole and loved, nourished, free....yes, they are just some of the factors that motivate me to still record my dreams.

But then pops the question, why would one want to seek these ambitions? A regular person would say that one should use lucid dreaming as much as possible before they die....but either way, if you do believe in the concept of Solipsism, without trying to abuse it to presume you're the only one experiencing real things, I just can't help but wonder if that really is the case.

Seeing people experience OBEs/AP/ whatever you want to call it, and still believe that once they're dead, they're dead, doesn't the idea that there is more to this life become apparent?

I mean....surely after trying to master lucid dreaming, and taking it up a level with OBE/AP has to convince one that there can still be life in actual death, but not the death that we define, something else....a type of awareness.

Excluding Ego death, which is a completely different phenomenon from actual death, if I'm right, doesn't it seem worthless to try and lucid dream, see glimpses in them that reveal that there's more possibilities out there? Or is this all just a simulation of our minds?

This pathetic planet, where every human being has to fulfill their ultimate goal of passing their genes for the future, surely one cannot think that seeing the potentials with lucid dreaming and beyond are only contained in a consciousness that apparently is deemed as mortal. Even through immortality, transcending immortality specifically, surely lucid dreaming isn't only useful for defying the laws and physics of this universe. Surely there is more to come, without trying to stuff religion into a person's throat. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but these preconceptions of life that temporarily suppress the urge to just kill ourselves is what really irritates me.

If we exist to essentially reproduce, pass on genes, and then die, what is the purpose in that when manipulating the rudiments of what establishes a human life is inevitable? What if the concept that babies coming from mother's wombs won't be the most logical and civilized manner for human life?

How will humanity deal with that then? Will these so-called civilized practices that have been engrained into the human mind change? What if we all just become body bags instead of actual living, breathing, organisms? To think that lucid dreaming is merely constrained by what you experienced in life, and your mind merely associating those experiences to make it seem like you're experiencing a new phenomenon.

But how...if one is really devoted to dreaming, they will eventually have to take into consideration of things like energy signatures, frequency, the possibility that we're essentially energy, but just creating ourselves as single entities for the luxury of some modicum of solace that we each have our own minds and universes. I honestly find it even more irritating to have to deal with this body of mine when I know that through dreaming, it's a completely different story.

And it's not the feeling of the infinite raw energy circulating in one's dream body, or even astral body if you're open to things beyond dreaming that bothers me, it's the fact that we wake up, as if it's our own pathetic way to remain humble from the extreme pleasures dreaming can provide to us. Is this really just our way to control our ID? To just live in this world where ideals, schemata, and confirmation bias with insecurities and jumping to conclusions about one person being this because they acted this way.

What if this world was condensed to a population of 100,000 people, would that make things better? Would that make humans cherish their lives as something important, rather than reaching the goal of making clones, making humans replaceable with another.........why have the luxury and the innate ability to dream and become aware of it with practice, when you believe that after all that effort, after all the enlightenment you've achieved, only to just be a water drop into the infinite pool of life.

Why go through all of these struggles, just for the sake of passing on your genes, when obviously the world doesn't require you to do so. A liability that jeopardizes the sanity of man as people continue to be born more than others are dying.

And to settle for petty and trivial qualms in this life....it's just hilarious to see that when one becomes cognizant of the potential of dreaming, to see that it isn't all just collective consciousness trying to convince you that this is some paranormal experience, it amazes me that people who are basically gurus on this kind of stuff still have doubt on things like shared dreaming and such.

Shared dreaming....the more I think about it, the more prone I am to believe that we're more than just entities with infinite raw energy that is locked in a finite container when we wake up. The similarities one can pick up when they've reached a decently strong bond with another shared dreaming partner, the things you find about a person, the things that they allow you to see in their mind....surely this isn't just the work of our minds going through its little storage from the supercomputer and cleverly anticipating what the other person is beyond mortal eyes.

Come on....one goes through all of this, only to doubt it even more as waking life becomes a thorn on their side, a necessary evil.......to be aware the the majority of people on this planet may never acknowledge lucid dreaming and beyond until a few hundreds, or even thousands of years have passed.

And what if there is some path for us who will all share the same fate of dying, how would that make us feel when the future may possibly be able to lucid dream quicker than we can now....how will that make one feel that they can condense the experiences that we worked hard for to obtain....

That's the thing that pisses me off the most with lucid dreaming......those who basically have the genetics, the associations linking towards a more efficient and "natural" way to enter the dreaming state and beyond.

It's like giving the person all the competence they need without working hard for it.

Things like aptitude/talent may never be an acceptable concept when things could possibly be implanted in advance. What is talent anymore? Being lucky with the gene pool can't be one of rudimentary examples forever....but no, what's the point in even collaborating with other sides of myself to try and find a logical belief system when it's going to be challenged again?

Sometimes seeing new things, new experiences, and adding on to what's already synthesized and engrained in our minds doesn't seem worth it anymore.

Even if you do reach the state where you can have OBEs/AP/Vivid WILDs to always sleep at night knowing you can have unconditional love, feeling free, releasing emotional attachments in waking life, what does that say about our capabilities beyond this life?

Should we allow some phenomenons to encroach our minds that could potentially distract us from our ultimate goal here of passing on our genes and memories to the future

The worse part of this is that sometimes, I just don't fucking care anymore.

Dreaming....lucid dreaming, having fun in your dreams......HAH....merely a child's story of sustaining the naivete that had to be stained from the realities of this universe....



Sometimes it makes me sick seeking out goals with dreaming, when it all must end eventually.....or does it?

It's always the if, the infinite possibilities, to believe there are infinite possibilities that pisses me off. And releasing yourself from this life isn't an option, because apparently, because of the fragile but only reliable belief of infinite possibilities, we may experience the same thing again if we don't live it out as much as we can....

Tell me, doesn't that prove that there's still doubt in our minds, whether or not we engage in religion?

Pffft.............all child's play sometimes.

/rant.

Good night

Dave, fOrceez, khh, Link. Feel better, you guys.

I'm ranting because.................................. I can't sleep I fall asleep when I don't want to and when I do want to I can't
But it's my brains fault. Just as I was getting comfortable, a dialogue between me and my hubby came to mind: "If I was to quit smoking, start attending my Congregation meeting, get off all my meds, and fix the trailer up completely, would you get me pregnant? Even if we had to see a Doctor about it?"
I think I have a touch of "empty nest" syndrome. I've always wanted a kid with my hubby, but it's just never happened (we were very sexually active for the first 12 of the 14 years we've been together and we NEVER used any birth control). I'm very quickly approaching 40 years old and then I fear it would be too late.
I wonder how hard he will laugh at that suggestion But I'm serious.

I figure if I start taking the baby to the meetings from the get-go, go out in Service with him/her, have a nice social circle and stay out of my bedroom, I'm sure I could make it work. With the 4 I already have... they fought me every step of the way. Everything I did was stupid. They were utterly destructive and violent around each other. A lone kid might be easier.
Yeah... like I said, I'm selfish.
He'll probably laugh, VERY hard, and nothing will come of it.
But I have to ask. As soon as he gets home tomorrow (if he's in a good enough mood after I ask him for an advance )

So now, because of these racing thoughts, I'm going to have to get my lab work done some other time (there's no appointment or anything). If I do manage to fall asleep I may even sleep long enough for a "fast" to count.

Blah...

It's always better to ask than live in a what if moment, wish you the best if things work out the way you want it to be, Zhaylin.

To see you go through this, I ponder on what it'll feel like when I'm essentially in your shoes.......

It would be nice to have just one child to take care of, focusing all of your energy on the child....to just love, and nourish....

That seems like a paradise. Have a good sleep!

How's my day been....? Pretty good actually ;P
Nope, no rants or complaints at all. Just thought I would give you all a change of mood

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

What if this world was condensed to a population of 100,000 people, would that make things better? Would that make humans cherish their lives as something important, rather than reaching the goal of making clones, making humans replaceable with another.........why have the luxury and the innate ability to dream and become aware of it with practice, when you believe that after all that effort, after all the enlightenment you've achieved, only to just be a water drop into the infinite pool of life.

'I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.... All those ... moments will be lost in time, like tears.....in the rain. ' - Roy (Android), Blade Runner

And I feel your pain, truly. But after a while, you'll learn to accept that life itself is just an absurd experience. Our feeble minds cannot make real sense of the system in which we've been placed, for we're inside 'this'. Much like how a programmer exists outside his own invention - he can understand the predicament of the sentient game characters contained within it.....sense that those within can apparently never reach. I don't think you can understand all the variables of a system without being outside of that system.

Treat it as a merry go round that you can't get off, nor understand why you're on it: just enjoy the spinning experience and accept the absurdity of your position.

Up for most of the night... ....gotta go to work. ...We'll give it a try, but I see myself coming back home in a couple hours.

Originally Posted by yuppie11975

How's my day been....? Pretty good actually ;P
Nope, no rants or complaints at all. Just thought I would give you all a change of mood

That actually made me more depressed because I will not have a day like that until finals are over, and even then, I have to deal with finding a job and getting a driver's license.

Change of mood on this thread will just be drowned with more negative energy.

A thousand mile journey begins with the first step, Link. And one step at a time! Stay in the present, and deal with the present.

That's the thing, I am in the present lol. Why you think I'm worried about grades all the time? It's because I'm stuck in the present.

I know this isn't going to be the end of the world for me if I don't do well, but still, I just like to finish things in one-go, the basic things that is.

I can't just avoid the future like that man, if I prepare myself for it, I won't be stuck into the new status quo of worrying about trivial things.

EDIT:

Now I see what you're saying with DV being a bit laggy.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

MASSIVE post

I read this whole thing, Link. Really, I did. But I still find myself wondering what it is you're complaining about. You're wondering what the point of waking life is? Or are you disillusioned from it because of its limits? And you seem to be on the fence about some form of afterlife -- which, of course, everyone is. It's only natural.

I don't think the point of waking life is to pass on our genes and then die. My evolutionary psychology class tried to pull that one, and that was my least favorite psych class. Because it couldn't explain the common decencies that most people have! It had no explanation for altruism besides the fact that those we help might take pity and raise our kids if we die. Not to mention all the sexist overtones. Not all men want to bang every woman we see, thanks. ...great, now you have me ranting about a class I took two summers ago. My point is... the point of waking life, for me, is to grow and learn as much as possible. To be more mature, and kind, and caring... and if we can develop true unconditional love for people, that's a huge cause for celebration.

Waking life may be a pain sometimes -- obviously, this thread wouldn't exist otherwise -- but it'll be okay in the end, I think. I know it's not as fun as dreams, for sure, but the way I see it, they synergize well. Get a huge mood boost from an awesome lucid dream and it can help you get through your boring day-to-day life. At least, it always improves my mood. And then, as you said, you can take those new experiences and have new ideas and dreams from them. Imagination is the key, I think... and I'm still working on that, because mine is actually really lacking. But if you have a vivid imagination, you can always improve your mood just by daydreaming, no matter where you are. And as long as it doesn't cause you to shirk real-life responsibilities, that's a very powerful skill.

Originally Posted by Singularity125

I read this whole thing, Link. Really, I did.

Lol.

But I still find myself wondering what it is you're complaining about. You're wondering what the point of waking life is? Or are you disillusioned from it because of its limits? And you seem to be on the fence about some form of afterlife -- which, of course, everyone is. It's only natural.

I guess you could say I was presuming waking life to be an illusion.

I don't think the point of waking life is to pass on our genes and then die. My evolutionary psychology class tried to pull that one, and that was my least favorite psych class. Because it couldn't explain the common decencies that most people have! It had no explanation for altruism besides the fact that those we help might take pity and raise our kids if we die.

What fueled that long rant of mine was the idea behind the Selfish Gene Theory

Every creature, in the long-run, acts to maximize the number of its descendants. Any creature which does not act this way will eventually be out-bred by those who do. While a creature may have enough for its own needs the number of descendants it can have is bounded only by the resources around it. Hence creatures are generally insatiable..........


This may seem wrong for humans, who have free will and are not mere programmable automaton, but in fact humans make logical decisions to satisfy their emotions, and human emotions are as murky and as illogical as any of those found in their animal counterparts.

Selfish Gene Theory

Not to mention all the sexist overtones. Not all men want to bang every woman we see, thanks. ...great, now you have me ranting about a class I took two summers ago. My point is... the point of waking life, for me, is to grow and learn as much as possible. To be more mature, and kind, and caring... and if we can develop true unconditional love for people, that's a huge cause for celebration.

You see, when I find myself thinking that waking life is just gathering as much knowledge and experiences as possible to add on the the collective consciousness....it just seems too naive for me to believe it's only that.

But that's just me.

Waking life may be a pain sometimes -- obviously, this thread wouldn't exist otherwise -- but it'll be okay in the end, I think. I know it's not as fun as dreams, for sure, but the way I see it, they synergize well. Get a huge mood boost from an awesome lucid dream and it can help you get through your boring day-to-day life.

Yeah, when I do get a lucid dream, it kind of cancels out the negative things in life temporarily, but I haven't had those dreams that are powerful and life changing as yet, so I'm still trying to get there.

At least, it always improves my mood. And then, as you said, you can take those new experiences and have new ideas and dreams from them. Imagination is the key, I think... and I'm still working on that, because mine is actually really lacking. But if you have a vivid imagination, you can always improve your mood just by daydreaming, no matter where you are. And as long as it doesn't cause you to shirk real-life responsibilities, that's a very powerful skill.

Yes, balancing experiences in dreams and waking life is a challenge indeed, but that's not what I'm concerned about.

I was just concerned that even when one reaches that state, how long with it last before they take it for granted.

That's the question I was trying to answer to myself.

So, I ground up some beans and made some coffee. Except I never put the ground up beans in the coffee maker, so I just had a bunch of hot water.

Also, I slept to late again (last two days). Hate that. I need to get batteries for my alarm clock I guess... or get a new alarm clock that doesn't need batteries. My old phone's alarm isn't waking me up.