Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with my parents. So the shower head broke, and my dad got a new one that is water saving, but one of the ones where the pressure isn't as high as normal. I said it's perfectly fine, there's nothing wrong with it, it's not too low. I made sure he realised that I said it is fucking fine because the last time my mum got a water saving tap for the kitchen, I said the same thing, in fact the tap was BETTER than a normal one, but she just had to fucking change it so that it is basically a non-water saving tap (removed some valve or something).
So even after making sure my dad knew that I like the new shower head he STILL GOES AND FUCKING CHANGES IT!!!! WHY!???????????!?!?!!!!!?????
What fucking reason is there? He doesn't ever use that shower anyway, he's never stepped foot in it. And it doesn't bother me, so just fuck off and leave it alone!

It's like they have nothing to do so they just think "oh, I'll fuck up that perfectly working thing". Why even pay for a water saving thing which costs more (not much more, but still a bit more) and then not even use it?

Just baffles me.
People are fucking retards.

I too would actually like to own an iPad. For the longest time I've had a seething antipathy towards anything associated with touchscreen, but it's honestly quite great for some things.
Speaking of asshole children, K's little brother sure can be a little brat sometimes. He does a lot of things where the sole objective is to annoy K and to start a fight. It always hurts so much to see it because when it does happen, he can usually shrug it off no matter what just happened to him, but K will be upset sometimes for long periods of time. Just the other day, they got into a fight and she literally locked herself in the bathroom for like half an hour or more. And she was visibly upset when she finally did come out. I wish her brother wouldn't be such a dick, and I wish she wouldn't isolate herself whenever she gets sad...

I was at their place for New Year's Eve; in the beginning of the day it was pretty much just a daily life simulation and it was pretty horrible because there were like 2 times where a fight broke out, and there seemed to constantly be something that could break the situation all the time. I wish I knew more of how to handle certain situations, I tend to feel a little helpless, and I guess to some degree I'm just confused. It feels like K cares a lot more about many things compared to her younger and older brother, she's complained a bit about how they didn't celebrate Christmas properly, and how there weren't that many guests at her birthday party (Only me and Mr.T :/), so she was worried about New Year's Eve (Which would have been just them if she hadn't asked me to come...)... I just... Nyuh, I hope I'm doing something right.
I guess my main confusion is actually when those fights break out. If she suddenly absconds and does that isolation thing, I just don't know what to do or when it's acceptable for me to talk to her again, she's so timid for an extremely long time. Until now I've just left her alone until she would come back :/

Well that was my ranting. I'm actually all full of enthusiasm and happiness and omg I can't believe that happened. There's so many awesome little things that happen constantly.
When we first went outside in the evening, K was afraid of the fireworks so she asked me to stay close to her and even told me to hold her if someone used fireworks close to us. (All the awww, all of it.) I do like taking this role of the 'protector', but fortunately she also both seemed to enjoy being there and she got used to it over time. And of course we played hella lots of Just Dance 4.

There's soo many things. I can't even. I'm always so full of it I get the biggest desire to just enthuse about it all the time, but there's usually no place (Uhm, there is, actually.) I can really do it except here I guess, but I feel like it'd be weird not to have an actual rant.

We fuckin' played Just Dance until like 2:30 AM. I'm okay with this type of New Year's Eve. Fuck alcohol and parties, I'll dance to "What Makes You Beautiful" with this company over any party.

Happy new year everyone. I know I'm late, but I didn't have time to come online for the past few days . So the new years eve party was actually quite good. But my rant is that I almost got laid at that party, but my friend had to ruin everything lol. And the holidays almost over. So basically I've got 4 nights left to WILD. And I just want one long and vivid lucid dream. Wilding is easy for me. I really don't know why. I just have to wait like 5mins and my body starts falling asleep already while I'm awake. But the easy part for mostly everyone is the hard part for me. Which is opening my eyes after all the hallucinations, vibrations,.. I'm just too afraid to open my eyes. Cause you're going to see what you're expecting. So I'm just afraid of opening my eyes after my wild when I'm already inside the dream D:

I just woke up at one in the after noon! This is why hate staying up late! Thanks a lot ericka!

Car battery is dead and I'm home alone in the middle of nowhere. There's no one around to jump it.

Alright, so I'm starting to feel pretty sure that I have bipolar disorder. Like I said before, I'm a hypochondriac, but I do kind of have a system. I think I have basically everything at some point or another, but the ones that I can keep coming back to and reevaluating every year or two and still feel the same way are the ones that generally turn out to be legitimate. But this belief is even more solid than that.... Most of the things I've thought I had center around the same areas of the brain, and all the ones I've become certain of over time have been linked to the same receptor polymorphism, while none of the ones I eventually decided I was wrong about have, and they all respond to the same type of treatment. It's the -1438G/A polymorphism of the 5-HT2A receptor gene, and it's been implicated in obsessive-compulsive disorder, Tourette syndrome, and predisposition to anorexia, and the three things in this area I've become sure that I have are OCD, tics, and body dysmorphic disorder. And, to the point, -1438G/A has also been linked to bipolar disorder, and it's known to be potentially comorbid with the rest of them. That alone wouldn't be enough to sway me, but the more I read descriptions of what having manic and/or depressive episodes is like the more I think to myself "Huh, this is something I've said verbatim to describe my personality before." Especially because smoking weed balances out my moods really well, and I've found reports of weed helping bipolar patients before. When I'm not smoking regularly I've been known to bounce back and forth between being really hypersexual and energetic and being so depressed that I just stay in one spot and stare at the wall all day, with some periods of relative normalcy in between. The really heavily euphoric times are also followed by really heavy dysphoria, which goes in line with the whole dopamine dysregulation syndrome theory.

I've also been looking a lot at natural supplements that act as NMDA antagonists, such as magnesium. Some of them have salts that get into the brain very easily and have a higher magnitude of central effects than normally used ones, like magnesium glycinate. This is significant because having enough strong NMDA antagonist activity causes upregulation of 5-HT1A and D2 receptors, and taking minerals is of course good for you anyway. But where this matters to me is in relation to my condition.... More 5-HT1A activity means that my low levels of serotonin will become more rewarding and social by means of increasing the amount of oxytocin and dopamine it releases. It will also just have an antidepressant effect over all. On the other hand, more D2 activity will balance out dopaminergic transmission, as D2 receptors normally have low binding in OCD. In relation to a manic-depressive scale, this would also attenuate the depression even further, though it could also enhance the mania. But would it really be so bad to only switch between normal/content and manic and be getting my minerals at the same time? I guess it just depends on how manic I would get. >.> If I'm not smoking weed consistently anymore either then it would be nice to have something to balance out the depression, even if it makes me go a little crazy from time to time.

I may have an ulterior motive, though.

People with anxiety disorders such as hypochondria tend to like labeling themselves every single disorder they share a couple of traits with on the DSM checklist.

We're not clocks, we're clouds. I call myself bipolar because it reminds me that some of the shit I'm thinking and feeling is overwhelming due to a chemically induced mood change and not because those thoughts/feelings are actually justified. I could check off a few traits in both psychopathy and schizophrenia but that doesn't make me both (in fact I believe the diseases exist on opposite ends of the spectrum), they're just tendencies in the cloud that is me and I don't find much use in attaching myself to every single label I can nod my head to.

It's like astrology, if you give someone a piece of paper with a general description of a human personality and tell them it's their natal chart, they'll believe it. If you're trying to see yourself in a description, you'll have the tendency to highlight the similarities and overlook the differences. While it's important to understand your possible chemical and conditional anomalies, don't get too attached to any particular label.

I do agree that hypochondriacs like to label themselves, but I kind of feel that this is different. Of course I don't know Aly, but I'm sure she thought for a while before saying that, and I bet she's still thinking it over, and I can almost guarantee that she will continue to mull it over until she's come to a definite conclusion one way or another.

Everyone has a few checkmarks in every category, and some people have enough that they are considered to have the disorder/condition/what have you. It's not about whether it's justified or if the thoughts aren't logical, you can think your thoughts aren't logical all you want but it doesn't mean you don't have the condition. Labels are there to help sort things out, I only think they're bad if you attribute the wrong ones to yourself or if you look at them negatively and take them as your entire identity.

Anyway. Don't get me wrong, I agree that a person should be especially careful if they are a hypochondriac, but I think labels are great. Apologies if I took your post the wrong way.

Mini-Rant

Two days before the bridal shower I'm starting to get pimples. I never get pimples. Ever. Not even when I was in my hormonal teenager phase. Thank you, Body, this is precisely what I wanted.

I'm also nervous about wearing a dress. At my shower a couple of people's eyes kind of bugged out in shock when they saw my scars, and I'm just waiting for that to happen again. It always does.
"What the hell happened to your arms?!"
"Oh, I fell off a bike. On both sides of my body."

Yeah....

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Happy new year everyone. I know I'm late, but I didn't have time to come online for the past few days . So the new years eve party was actually quite good. But my rant is that I almost got laid at that party, but my friend had to ruin everything lol.

Story time

It's happened to me before too, sucks bro.

Originally Posted by ThePreserver

Car battery is dead and I'm home alone in the middle of nowhere. There's no one around to jump it.

Have you got a heap of coins, salt, water and some wire? Watch the episode of breaking bad where they jump start the RV and try to follow along

Actually.... I just realised you could probably do it with a wall outlet or a heap of AA batteries, if you have jumper cables.



Tell me how the magnesium goes Aly. I was looking at that recently too, how some are absorbed far better, but I couldn't find the right one at any store, it's all magnesium titrate iirc. If it works, I may go to further effort to get some.


Rants: I spent over 2 hours going to a shop to get American Spirit tobacco. It's got no additives or anything and therefore makes it way easier to quit because it doesn't have extra addictive crap in it, so you don't feel like another one the instant you put the first one out. It's fucking great.
But I have a headache coz it's like 40 degrees C today and I think I was pretty dehydrated by the end of all that.

I'm getting really nervous about looking for a job still. I feel like it's almost impossible. I such at interviews, and social shit in general, and my previous experience is shite for my age. I just can't see this being very probable at all. It also sucks writing a hundred different resumes, trying to weakly link my pathetic experience with the job.

My car has a a short in its seat adjuster, fan, and cigarette lighter. The only way I can turn off the fan is if I unplug the battery, meaning I have to pull the damn thing out before it stops, which also means I have to reset the clock and radio presets. I've gotten too lazy to do either. Plus I have AP Phys homework and a Human Research project due, plus mid terms are coming up that I haven't studied enough for.

I'm just a good student with bad habits.

I'm still having trouble adjusting to a new sleep schedule. It was 2-11 am, now it's 11-7 am. I didn't fall asleep at the right time because I wasn't tired (so I stayed up until about 1 am), then I couldn't sleep because my husband snores like nobodies business, so I actually fell asleep around 2, then I kept waking up because of his snoring and being uncomfortable, then his stupid ass alarm is set to blare at the loudest volume setting at 6 am, then 6:30 am, despite the fact that he needs to get up at seven. So all in all I got about three hours of sleep, seven total in the last two days.

Which is just fucking perfect, I'm stressed as it is (see zits post), I'm tired, I have a huge party to help host tomorrow, and I have about 130 cookies I need to make from scratch and decorate with icing that I make from scratch.

My recall sucked, and my last dream was a not nice one, I shot a guy many times but he didn't even stop, and he kept getting closer and closer. Ugh.

But never mind me, I'm just in a foul mood. Things will be better after tomorrow.

Cry: One of our huge dogs has had raging, volcanic diarrhea for the past two days. Now that she's getting better, I can transition from feeling sorry for her to feeling sorry for myself. Let me tell you, when a 60-pound dog has a sudden attack of atomic mudbutt inside of your house, it is an event. My once-wonderful life has become a fecal-spattered blur of Lysol, scrubbing, dog-bathing, and self-pity.

Anti-cry: We got to spend several days this holidays season with my last living grandparent (my grandmother.) She's sharp-minded, sweet, patient and the kids adore her. It was great bonding with her over life, parenthood, her days on the homefront during World War II... and the soundtrack of "Fallout 3".

I'm grateful that my kids have been able to get to know their great-grandma and that I've had the chance to grow old enough to appreciate what an incredible person she is. There have been people in my life that I only remembered to cherish after I had lost them. I'm glad I'm not waiting around this time.

Well.. time to quit stealing them office supplies already ^^

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Canis
Sounds like an absolute nightmare. Glad your pooch is doing better.

NewArtemis, Mike, Tommo, Aly and everyone else

Aly, you also have to take care that your lifestyle isn't CAUSING your symptoms. Go drug and alcohol free for a while, work on your sleep schedule/routine and see if the symptoms still add up. Doctors thought I had bipolar for years but my weird (self-induced) sleep schedule was doing it to me. Adding anxiety in with it, didn't help lol

NewArtemis, just tell people the scars are from a "mis-spent youth". That's what I do anyhow. If you say it with enough gravity, people usually don't ask any more questions. Or you could say it with humor and when pressed, say "perhaps I was a jungle explorer" or any number of ridiculous yarns.

I don't really have any rants. Not any true rants anyhow lol My sleep schedule is majorly messed up and my recall is virtually zilch, but I'm okay with that for now. My character on WoW is level 43 lol and between that and Farmville, I'm lucky to get any sleep at all

I'm also too easily amused. I like watching my veins "dance" across the top of my hand when I move certain fingers a certain way. But then I noticed I have a really deep "dimple" whenever I make a fist. It's at my wrist between the bones of my first and second fingers. I spent about 30 minutes last night, pushing it and giggling and/or just marveling at it I have a slight dimple on my other hand but it's not nearly as pronounced (probably because I broke that wrist).
It's a rant because I feel like an idiot. It's an anti-rant because I'm seldom ever bored because the most simple/stupid stuff amuses me.

Hmm... oh yes, all of the bloody lightbulbs in the house (except for the bedrooms) died on the same day. I have a flashlight that you wear as a headband, so I was wearing it the other night to nuke my soup and do some more laundry (after Cocoa peed on my blankets grrr). Then I went shopping yesterday and forgot to buy more stinking bulbs. Last night, I had to give up one of the 4 bulbs I use in my room so my son could cook lol and now it seems too dark in here

Something else that humors me is hair. I've not been shaving (mostly out of curiosity ). I look very funny. Perhaps everyone is this way, but my legs only grow hair below my knees. I mean, there's hair above the knees but it doesn't get long.
I gave in and shaved under my arms once because not shaving was giving me strange dreams. For some reason, I was really touchy about the subject when I was a teen. An older cousin and his friend teased me once, saying I needed to start shaving (they said it in a sort of "baby's growing up" kind of voice). I snapped at them and told them "No I don't!!!" I can still picture their looks of shocked amusement. It was very much against my nature to lash out like that lol. I must've been about 14 years old.
But I told my dreams to knock it off- that I wasn't a little kid anymore and that having such a hang-up was silly.

Answer me this: Why do people pay so much money for soap, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream? I use shampoo for everything. I also use conditioner because my hair's too dry otherwise. But a bottle will last me at least 3 months. A bottle of my Menthol T-Gel shampoo costs $7. but it lasts for 2 months.
My oldest daughter will spend a small fortune on different bath and hair products. Why? Doesn't $1. hairspray work just as well as the $7. stuff?

Anyhow... I've rambled long enough. Time to venture out for food and light bulbs.

Canis: Oh boy, that sounds like one of the most awful things that can happen to you... or your dog. Funny thing to read about, but it must be miserable living it.

Zhaylin: Usually the bike thing works, I have a ton more scars on my left than my right, and in any case people stop asking. I don't elaborate unless I really trust them and we're in private, and usually only when they ask questions. Truthfully my left shoulder did get skinned in one area when I fell off a bike and skidded on the asphalt for a little while, so I just pretend like they're asking about that. Anyone who's done it or knows about it knows though - the scarring pattern is totally different depending on the wound.

Of course you know that I'm just glad they're on my shoulders and not my forearms, I'd have a lot more stares.

If you're an idiot for being easily amused, so am I! I totally do that tendons thing on my hand and wrist all the time Nothing wrong with it, just means we don't get as bored as other people.

That really sucks about the lightbulbs too, the only times I've heard of that is power surges where the breaker doesn't trip or work or something, and when someone has been struck by lightning and tries to turn on the lights. Been struck by lightning lately?

And the hair... My hair is darkest below my knees if I do let it grow (it bothers me and I want to look sexy, so I shave), but I do have peach fuzz on my thighs that I usually miss cause I can't see the stuff.

And the various hair products: Apparently there is a difference, my brother's fiancee is a hairstylist and she knows all about the different ingredients, properties, chemicals, etc and what they are supposed to help. Some of them do help. I just think if the cheap stuff is good enough... there ya go. Shaving cream dries out my legs (even the moisturizing stuff, weird, right?) so I just use my Dove bar soap. I also use shampoo and conditioner, my hair is impossible to comb if I don't have any, especially with hard water. How the hell does it get so tangled anyway? It's not like I headbang, run around, spin in a gale force wind, or anything like that. But whatevs. Eric likes my hair down and it's less work for me, so I'll just keep having... amazon hair. Yeah. Fits my personality.

The only expensive product I spring for is Biosilk for those rare occasions I straighten my hair, it makes it easier. My sister gets split ends easily if she doesn't use it then. I've got good hair, strong and doesn't split, and looks alright unless humidity is high. So I guess I'm thankful

The entire Euro history class spanning four different blocks (around 70 students) went to see Les Mis today at Edwards Mira Mesa - it was a great movie and all, but afterwards my friends went to Panera Bread right afterwards and didn't let me know, so I felt pretty ditched. I've grown to accept myself as a person, but being left out like that always gives me uncomfortable doubts in my brain. I've also dropped connections with a lot of people there and I'm starting to feel like a total dick about it. It's starting to feel hard to even talk to my friends now in fear that something I say will rub them the wrong way.

Also, after playing League of Legends for quite some time I've grown a tendency to rage outside of game - I think I need to quit since it will start affecting my academic and personal life but the game is so stupidly dynamic and interesting it's pretty hard to give up.

On a more humorous note, I'm being punished for eating 6 FiberOne Chocolate granola bars. Uuuuugh~

Plus, this site is bugging out and me and for some reason it's posting on the page before the most recent post

Thinking about parts of the future that are out of my control makes me so incredibly anxious. Usually there's something reassuring that I can think of and it goes away for a few months, but this time I can't think of what usually makes me unanxious again.

hehee, so glad to see I'm not the only one so easily amused

I'm too cheap to buy shaving cream. BUT, if a person uses a good razor, I can see where shaving cream would be important. I use disposable razors and soap/shampoo gunk them up really quickly. After about 3 uses, the razor's useless.
I keep my hair long and straight too. But I tend to have it in a ponytail or under a bandanna. Isn't high humidity moisture? How does humidity make hair frizz? I'd think it would make hair limp. My daughters always complained of that too. Maybe low humidity = frizz and high = limp?

Haven't been struck by lightening lol I think the lights are just evenly used so they died together. I got some more, so I'm happy now.

I'm also happy that my bell flower plant is thriving. I worried about it because the soil has been completely dry on several occasions. Which goes to show how horribly dry my room is. I water the plant at least 3 times a week and every time I do, the top soil is dried out completely. Anyhow... when my step-daughter was here for Christmas, I showed the plant to her and she said it's doing wonderfully. The discoloration is due to it's nature. It forms a sort of bark.
The plant is actually sprouting new leaves and it's grown considerably since I got it. Major anti-rant

Nah, hair is made up of keratin which coils, and that structure is caused by hydrogen bonds. When water is around, the bonds break, and keratin loses that nice coil, the hair lengthens, and we get frizzy. Then I guess if we get stuck in rain the weight of the water pulls all the hair down into a sopping mess. I know the hair straightener works because it removes moisture from the hair, but is it because heat is promoting hydrogen bonds or because there is less resistance without moisture? Or both? Then if your hair gets all oily is goes limp, I'm guessing again because of weight.

My hair is naturally wavy, on dry days it gets a lot flatter (so it's much, much easier to take care of in the summer), and on really humid days it forms large ring curls. I don't really care what it does as long as it doesn't look like I've been electrocuted.

Go science!

Congrats about your plant, I don't have very good luck with plants I keep indoors so I know yours doing well must be a feat

So I'm signing up for these programs for college, and I already have meetings to go to set, which sets the implication that this appeal process is going to get approved.

If my Biochemistry advisers are willing to give me a second shot to get better at adjusting to this no-lifing schedule I was trying to master last semester (god I still cringe at how much of a robot I was doing it), and if I have other things set, maybe I'm being paranoid about dropping out of college, or maybe not.

I still have to set up a financial aid meeting after I meet my adviser, and next week will be last week before classes start, so I have to get a meeting set for at least the 9th and at most the 10th.

Then after that, I need to get a few textbooks, which is really only 2-3 thankfully, since I can still use the Biology textbook I have already.

Gah, this is so stupid, so many people setting implications that the appeal will go fine, but here I am still worrying. Damn it, should've majored in Biology or Geology or something.


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Anti-Rant: I'll get to hangout with my girlfriend sometime next week, and that's always a good thing.