Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

So now: a personal question. Though forums are a rather impersonal form of communication, so maybe it's not so bad. And I'm in a ponderous mood.

How important is sex to your relationships? Lately I've been missing a companion, but not necessarily for sex. I miss having someone to just sit next to me on the couch and listen to music, even if we never say a word to each other. Someone to go with on walks in the woods. Someone to cook meals for. Basically someone to just share the experience of life with. Someone who you can be around in complete silence without it seeming awkward. I had that person for a few years, but I believe a large reason why the relationship ended was my lack of passion in the bedroom. She compared us to her friend's relationship where they had sex on a daily basis, if not multiple times each day. Personally, I was content with once every other week. And it was not due to a lack of attraction between us; I just simply felt it was too 'exhausting' (for lack of better word) of an experience.

Maybe I just smoke too much weed, or maybe just I started smoking weed too early in comparison to when I lost my virginity (though during that relationship I quite smoking). Or maybe it's just that my view on sex hasn't really been influenced by the media, which I think overly-romanticizes the act to extremes (and beyond). Sex is a way to create life. But being humans, of course we have learned to take advantage of this pleasure. And I don't mean to say I only think sex is appropriate when you're trying to have children, but making it a daily thing seems absurd to me. I'm sure I'm in the minority there, and maybe it really comes down to me just having low testosterone levels--which is probably true. But if that's the case, so be it. If 'normal testosterone' means I'd be the slobbering pig most men seem to act like when around women, I'm happy to be 'broken.'

So anyway, sex was basically the reason we broke up. Or the infrequency of it, rather. (Or maybe just that she had no 'control' over me through sex? Denying me would generally leave me feeling indifferent. "No? Ok, I'll just go do this then instead.") Beyond that, our relationship had no serious issues and we split up on good terms. And so I've come full circle--is sex really THAT important in a relationship? I've been happily single for the past few years, and I'm actually uninterested in new relationships because I feel like the burden of regular sex will hang over me. I guess that sounds ridiculous, but it's just not what I prioritize in a relationship. And maybe it's just the media influencing my perception after all, as it seems that most people consider sex vital, and my 'once every other week' is not enough. And hell... I'm content with even less than that. But anything more frequent just seems too much to me.

Got my AS results back today AACD. Continuing to A2 (senior year) with AAC grades and my Maths UMS is so high that I could feasably get an A* next year. Whooo!

I would say that sex is only as important in a relationship as each person makes it.

Sex for individuals outside of a relationship is (in a sense) easier, because each person can have their own feelings about things...without the need for their respective feelings to be compatible in any long-term scenario. But by choosing to stay together, both people's views on the matter need to find a way to mesh somehow.

Spoiler for big long thing:

If one or both people are dissatisfied with the sex being had, the question becomes which aspect is more important, the sex? Or the relationship itself? If both people agree that the sex is less important, than it can be something to work on within the context of the relationship.

I had one relationship similar to what you described. We had been together a long time, had been through a lot together, but towards the end of our relationship he seemed to be placing a new importance on sex that had not been there before. He would compare our relationships to that of his friends, using their experiences as a way of convincing me that something about my sexual appetite was abnormal.

Trouble is, I never cared about how much sex his friends were having, I was making decisions for myself and no one else. And of course I tried to be attentive to his needs too because relationships are about compromise, so how he felt was just valid as how I felt at the time.

However, I think he was just assuming that the longer we were together, the more frequently we'd be having sex. That isn't a need to be fulfilled, it is an assumption based outside the reality of our relationship.

And unfortunately, he more he compared everyone else's experiences to mine, and the more angry he became with me about it, the more resentful I became. He wasn't considering my feelings at all, it was as if no matter what I did to try to help the situation, it was never resolved. It seemed he would only be happy if I gave him exactly what he wanted, regardless of how I felt about it.

And at that point I realized that we just weren't compatible. There were other factors to the break up of course, but this one frustrated me the most. If our relationship had been healthy and strong otherwise, it would have been something I'd be more eager to fix.

But given that he overlooked most of the other important issues we had (trust, resentment, fighting over nothing, etc.), but chose to take a stand on the sex issue? It was as if the relationship itself mattered very little, and if I just sexed him more all our probems would just disappear.

Not only that, but he blamed me solely for my supposed "lack of interest". Never once thinking that how he treated me might impact my desire to be with him.

I honestly feel that his attitude made me less and less attracted to him. Sorry but not sorry, I'm not gonna be guilt-tripped into having sex with you. And if that's the kind of sex you want? You've got bigger issues in play than my libido, sir.

Only problem is, I've been living alone for three years now. And although I feel much happier outside of that unhealthy relationship, now I WISH I had that offer for sex on the table whenever I wanted it. I just hadn't reached that point at the time, which is probably for the best the way I see it.

I just had to learn in time that sex with the wrong person, for the wrong reasons...just isn't worth it for me. Sounds cliche, but when the time is right, you just know it.

And if the person you are with places importance on issues that matter very little to you, it's time to take a step back and reevaluate your own priorities, and hopefully (if they're smart) they'll do the same.

Things don't always go the way we want them to, but sometimes that is necessary for things to go the way that is needed.

And as for my cry/complaint,
Today's my birthday and the only thing I get to do is work.
Better luck next year, I hope.

Originally Posted by tommo

Spoiler for Rant/Rave:

Lankan friend being dumb/annoying again. BUT, only 3 days left and I have 2 weeks off! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!
HOWEVER some other shit came up.... apparently a manager put in a complain about me and 2 girls. That guy is a total faggot, he's constantly saying really disgusting/inappropriate shit, which.... whatever, I don't care, just ignore it or go along with it and keep working. But then he complains when I tell him to shut up, which I've said before, but apparently he didn't want me to say things like that in front of other people? I dunno, if he really has complained and the big guys talk to me, I'm just gonna tell them all the stuff he's said to me.

Funny thing was, I was just joking around but I said exactly that, just an hour before that happened. He said "You better not tell anyone the stuff I say" and I said "If you piss me off I'll tell the store manager". If he really did complain, he's the biggest moron ever. I wouldn't have even thought of telling them if he hadn't said that, and now he's given me a perfect reason to tell them. lulwut....

Tell me everything he's told you, and be sure to say it aloud in a deep, husky voice as you type it out... :]

Originally Posted by sefalik

How important is sex to your relationships? ...

Spoiler for the rest:

Lately I've been missing a companion, but not necessarily for sex. I miss having someone to just sit next to me on the couch and listen to music, even if we never say a word to each other. Someone to go with on walks in the woods. Someone to cook meals for. Basically someone to just share the experience of life with. Someone who you can be around in complete silence without it seeming awkward. I had that person for a few years, but I believe a large reason why the relationship ended was my lack of passion in the bedroom. She compared us to her friend's relationship where they had sex on a daily basis, if not multiple times each day. Personally, I was content with once every other week. And it was not due to a lack of attraction between us; I just simply felt it was too 'exhausting' (for lack of better word) of an experience.

Maybe I just smoke too much weed, or maybe just I started smoking weed too early in comparison to when I lost my virginity (though during that relationship I quite smoking). Or maybe it's just that my view on sex hasn't really been influenced by the media, which I think overly-romanticizes the act to extremes (and beyond). Sex is a way to create life. But being humans, of course we have learned to take advantage of this pleasure. And I don't mean to say I only think sex is appropriate when you're trying to have children, but making it a daily thing seems absurd to me. I'm sure I'm in the minority there, and maybe it really comes down to me just having low testosterone levels--which is probably true. But if that's the case, so be it. If 'normal testosterone' means I'd be the slobbering pig most men seem to act like when around women, I'm happy to be 'broken.'

So anyway, sex was basically the reason we broke up. Or the infrequency of it, rather. (Or maybe just that she had no 'control' over me through sex? Denying me would generally leave me feeling indifferent. "No? Ok, I'll just go do this then instead.") Beyond that, our relationship had no serious issues and we split up on good terms. And so I've come full circle--is sex really THAT important in a relationship? I've been happily single for the past few years, and I'm actually uninterested in new relationships because I feel like the burden of regular sex will hang over me. I guess that sounds ridiculous, but it's just not what I prioritize in a relationship. And maybe it's just the media influencing my perception after all, as it seems that most people consider sex vital, and my 'once every other week' is not enough. And hell... I'm content with even less than that. But anything more frequent just seems too much to me.

Yeah, you are in the minority, but there's nothing wrong with that. You had different priorities when it came to sex and that (among other things I'm sure) was enough to end the relationship. When you get involved with someone again, maybe look specifically for someone who shares your lack of enthusiasm toward it.

I think you're wrong in saying "Sex is a way to create life," even though I realize you don't mean it in the sense that it's wrong. The reason the desire for sex evolved might have been to make babies, but that doesn't mean the desire itself has anything to do with reproduction. You could say that humans have taken advantage of a certain type of pleasure, but then that would be true for many other things: video games, candy, socializing beyond a level which helps us survive, appreciating artwork.... just because something doesn't serve an evolutionary purpose doesn't mean there's less of a justification for it. And I realize you aren't directly saying there's anything wrong with it, so maybe I'm wrong in sensing you have some bias.

Sexual desire has always seemed separate to me from the feeling of enjoying bonding with a romantic partner. Not that I'd have sex outside of my relationship, or that the two don't cross over occasionally, it's just that in general they seem to be two very different things. Sex isn't exactly romantic for me, at all. The feeling of being horny is different from the feeling of enjoying someone's company, feeling bonded with them and sharing stuff, etc. Though the latter makes the former much easier. So I can completely understand wanting one but not having much of a desire for the other.

Anyway it seems to usually be the woman in the relationship with the problem you describe, so from that view it sounds like you shouldn't have that much trouble finding someone. Sex can be amazing for a lot of people but you definitely shouldn't let society's or a partner's expectations influence how often you want to have it.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

[not an actual Zhaylin quote, just to make her look here]

I was asked to ask you Zhaylin if you've tried running anti-virus, anti-spyware, etc. software on your computer, and ensured your hard drive isn't full or something. If your computer used to run Minecraft fine, but now it doesn't... I doubt Minecraft requires much more resources than it used to, so why would it suddenly run slowly unless you have malware or something slowing it down?

-------
Speaking of Minecraft, Astaroth has expressed interest in joining the server!

Bwahha, what a dunce, Tommo. Hopefully he didn't say anything... but I guess you have ammo if he did!

What the heck Anderj? What a nightmare!

Hope you're well, Gavin.

Anyone ever hear from Anju?

Been quiet in my neck of the woods. No rants, no raves. I've been laying down a LOT and getting an abundance of sleep. I might be "trying" to catch something.
I did laundry and hung it in my room last night and I woke with major sinus problems. What the heck? Clean clothes give me allergies Actually, I know it's the detergent, but I'm too cheap to buy better stuff.

It's been about 2 months since I had a cigarette I'm vaping a lot though

My daughter, Destinee got into an on-line relationship with some girl from Chicago. She was going to move out there in September but now the girl is coming here and crashing with us for a while. What the heck (seems to be my phrase of the day ) My daughter didn't even ask if that would be okay.
I need to stop being so nice.

But I think I'll just go back to bed. Maybe I'm depressed

Sorry for the double post... I missed a page somehow lol.

I've run all of the scans, Dianeva, and I've had a couple viruses, but my software supposedly took care of them. I'll try it again tonight.
YAY, Astaroth!

Sefalik... very tough question. Apparently, sex is very unimportant to me. I've not had it for several years now. I miss it, but my relationship with my hubby is okay without it. We're definitely not "passionate" though. We've always been more like friends and that's okay. You just have to find someone who feels the same way. Communication is a must.
I used to feel completely worthless if I couldn't satisfy my partner. I felt I never truly brought anything else into a relationship. If the person didn't show any interest, sexually, or hindered my advances, I was devastated. I've never truly enjoyed sex myself (orgasm problems) but I felt obligated to provide (though I never made it seem like a "chore" or anything).
I think a lot of people have that hang-up. If your partner doesn't "want" you, then there must be something wrong. Which is why communication is key, even though you might have to repeat yourself to make the other person realize you truly do not desire sex that often and that there's nothing wrong with them because of it.

Congrats, Wishful!!

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Tell me everything he's told you, and be sure to say it aloud in a deep, husky voice as you type it out... :]

Uhhhh.... what? Lol. Seriously what????

Another rant: I always say things which sound offensive, and people think I'm an asshole.
I pretty much never say things to be mean on purpose, but so often I sound mean.
I did it just before, and I maybe realised why it sounds mean.
I was thinking it's because I think of some people as friends (sort of, like I treat them as friends, even though we're not really), but they don't think of me as a friend and so if I say something that to a friend would be simple honesty, or sometimes just joking around, they take it as an insult, or take it seriously.

Maybe. OTOH, it has happened before with people who are friends.
It's not all bad, because some select people either find me funny, or just understand that I'm honest. And those people usually are good friends, although they are rare, which is why I basically have 2 actual friends.

Sometimes I just wish I was normal though.

God I just don't know what's wrong with me these past weeks. I feel so exhausted even though I mostly sit on my ass all day long.

I feel so confused and lost, I probably have some huge existential crysis.

I literaly just turned out partying with my best friend(who I was freinds with for 13+ years!!!) just so I can get some rest even though thats what I allways do!!!

He kinda understood I was tired(just came from meeting family too) so I guess it's good but I still feel like a horrible person.

A bit of background: this summer I finally(!!!!) finished 12 years of primary and secondary education and as the year got by I felt worse nnd worse in school.

I really am a huge introvert and I always felt bad for being different than everyone else. Everyone was loud and noisy to me while I was closed with my thoughts mainly because I always tried to make friends and I mostly failed which just led me to a chain reaction of dissapontment, depression and misery.

I really thought I just need a break, maybe a few months to recover from these horrible years yet I still feel lost like I have no control of my life and the more I think about it schools (where I live atleast) seem to develop a curious case of stockholm syndrome.


To some it all up, I just feel like sh*t (btw am I allowed to swear since when I'm sad I kinda curse like a sailor )


If you actually bothered and read my longass rant I appriciate it and if not than that's fine, just want to get it out of my system and as I right this I feel sad and happy, but mostly sad.

A small edit: the aformentioned tiredness is also why I am not as active on the site as I would've liked. I've got to catch with alot of LDing practice(mainly dream yoga, sorry sivason )

I'm still here, Zhaylin.

Anju Thanks for checking in
I hope life is better now?

HeWhoShapes

Tommo, in some ways you sound like my hubby. He can rub people the wrong way with his unfiltered honesty, sarcasm and humor. It took ME a while to get it lol. Now I act as his "conscience" (?) when we're out in public. I'll lightly elbow him if he's saying something too off the wall

My rant is that I've still not tried Minecraft. I've not been in the mood. I'm still laying in bed most of the time, playing on my iPad or sleeping.
I'm also raging over my e-cigs. They're not cutting it for some strange reason. I thought the clearos might be getting gunked up, so I bought new ones. Problem was NOT solved. Figured it must be my battery then, so I bought a new one. Did not help. OR the battery I just bought is crap. I'm going to take it back to the store on Tuesday. I draw the vapor into my mouth before I inhale. Lately, I've not been noticing it, so I keep the button pressed until the light starts flashing. When I inhale, I don't get the throat hit I like and when I exhale, there's very little vapor.

I need a "e-cig" I can plug into the wall without recharging It wouldn't be portable, but I rarely go anywhere anyhow lol

I also need to get some strips for my glucose meter. I think my blood sugar has been dropping too much. Hubby and I ate Chinese on Saturday. I got the buffet and he ordered off the menu. I didn't even wait for him to get his food before I chowed down. I was shaking so much hubby pointed it out. About 5 minutes later, the shaking went away for the most part. Does it work that fast?
When I delay eating, I feel punched in the gut; I get VERY agitated and I jitter. Eating takes care of all symptoms until I need food again.

What's annoying is I'm certain I'm gaining weight. I dislike eating (it's boring lol). I only eat when my body tells me to. I used to be able to delay it or ignore it entirely. My stomach would rumble a little in protest but that was it. But now it's like *sucker punched in the gut* "I said feed me now beyotch!"

**EDIT**
Ha! My wish has come true http://saffireecigs.com/ego-t-650-ma...through-1.html There is such a stationary device for e-cigs! I'm going to be ordering one as soon as possible!!!

Well, life doesn't really get better. It only goes from bad to worse. But I'm trying to accept it and come to terms with it.

Really hating myself right now. Don't even know why. I just feel really fucking pathetic and useless and awful. I'm so lonely tonight and I finished SPN Season 4 and it made me cry a lot and now I feel useless because I'm in a house on my own and I just feel so stupid.

Oh my god not againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. This is like a circle, did I do something in another life and now I'm damned to be in some sort of space-temp loop? All the guys that seem nice and I end up liking are impossible things, like, ALL of them.
I'm going to laugh out loud because this is ridiculous.

Anju. I truly hope you find at least a little happiness soon

Wishful. The show was that good?

Astaroth. Love the picture

My rant is my daughter Destinee. She tells me she needs to go to the next town tomorrow. I asked her why etc, etc and she said to pick up her girlfriend from Greyhound. Okay... what time. Midnight. Nope, sorry, not happening.
Which lead to arguments about why. My hubby is kind enough to provide me with a car, new tires when needed, oil changes etc, I merely need to be respectful of his wishes. There is no reason for me to be in said town and said time so I'd never be able to justify the trip. Which lead to her calling me paranoid and hubby controlling. So what, I told her, it's the lot *I* chose in life and I'm completely okay with it. I told her SHE needs to be respectful of my wishes and appreciative that I'm even going to go at all.
Annoyances!

I'm not above lying. I friggin lie all the time and I hate it, but I do so to keep the peace. The girlfriend shouldn't even be staying here because hubby doesn't like people on his property. I told my daughter to make sure her friend knows what she's getting into. She can't leave the house if hubby's home and our house is hell. There's no fridge or stove so food is very limited. There's also no money And what happens when she gets here and they discover they're completely incompatible or she can't stand Ray, Miley or me? Then she's stuck in a completely foreign town with no income. Annoying kids need to think things through more before jumping in.
And what about me? One of these days hubby's going to call me out and I'm going to have to choose between him or my kids or something. Or he's just going to get sick of all the BS.

I wish my kids would just grow up already, stand on their own 2 feet and move out. They could move down the road or next door, it's just too stressful having to cover for everyone all the time.

In other news, my daughter Zee still has not been found.
Destinee took one of her friends to DHHR today to turn in the girls mom and open an investigation. I told her to ask about her sister when there. The caseworker, of course, deny's I've been trying to get in touch with her. Does she never check her messages? And I KNOW it's her phone because it's personalized ("Hello, you've reached the office of so and so, please leave a message")
I hope Zee is okay, happy and healthy wherever she is. I also hope she get's in touch when she turns 18 in December.

A rave is that I had some amazing dreams earlier. I actually saved them in my DJ.
I think I'll go back to bed now...

My rave tonight is that I found a job! Possibly another, so would be two part time jobs lol. My first plan (A) didnt work out so now its like plan C is going well with working locally for once. At a video game and movie store

And hope things get better for everyone

Major Grats, Neo! Both sound like great places to work (lots of fun?).

I just woke up again. I'll be awake for 12 hours and then sleep the other 12 if my pattern holds
My rave is that I had another awesome dream. Not as great or memorable as the ones before but still... In it, a little girl snuck off to a carnival to find her family. The girl had some sort of abilities and I eventually brought her home after making a deal with the owner of the Tarot shop for future info.
The dream was dull for a while and centered on food lol but then, 3 women go back to the Tarot card guy. He was having a meeting with others. The guys are all oogling the women who look very hot in Victorian Goth/Gypsy get-ups. The told the men: "We're not the entertainment, we're the muscle." I absolutely LOVE that.
One of the men was curb stomped and because of having watched "Gang Related" a couple days ago, I had a perfect visual for it.,

I rant is that I really dislike "but" in sentences spoken with seeming sincerity. "I love you, but..." "I'm sorry, but..." "I appreciate what you're doing, but..." "I know it's yours and I shouldn't have cut it up, but...." Seriously?! Adding "but" negates the sincerity of what's being said. You might as well have not said anything.

So the last two weeks, I've been getting a lot of calls asking for Mike (not my name) and asking about various cars. The calls always come when I'm asleep, so I've never talked to any of them. But one thing to note: if you call someone and leave a message, LEAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER. The calls are all to my home phone which doesn't save the phone numbers (to my knowledge). So I was only able to call back one person, but she didn't answer. So on the second attempt I just left a message telling her it's the wrong number, but no resolution for me because other calls kept coming.

Finally today I got a call in the morning and answered. The guy was looking for Mike, as I guessed, but this time I was actually able to ask where he got my number from. He said it was from a car dealership. So I googled the branch nearest me and called them, and whatdoyaknow: there's a salesman that works there named Mike, and his extension is the same as the last four digits of my phone. So I guess he just wasn't specifying that it was an extension? But hopefully I'll stop getting calls asking for Mike now.

I am the EbbTide, receding, since Bob Van Der Castle died:↓↓↓

♥♥♥

EBB TIDE-THE PLATTERS: http://youtu.be/N3YziPqd2cs

♥♥♥

Gunna change my username to EbbTide 000, clear my signature and replace it with the Platters Youtube "Ebb Tide".

Don't recon I'll be posting much, anymore, now that BobV's gone.

I saw my psychologist today, and it felt like we finally made some decent headway. I'll be starting on meds soon, she's given me little challenges to help me crush my anxiety (eg. say good morning to 3 strangers, take public transit more often, etc), I feel "normal" again, and she mentioned that we might start looking at some attention issues next week because I may have ADHD. School starts in two weeks and I want to get all this shit handled before I go to class.

And on that note, I'm taking a political science class on international relations. It seems like a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to it.

@WishfulThinker: knowthatfeelbro.

lol, Sefalik. Hopefully the calls will stop now!

That does sound interesting, Gavin! I hope you like it a lot

My rant is that I have a nice bloody splotch on my eyeball called a Subconjectival Hemorrhage. I just happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was like , wth lol. I've seen them on other people though and know them to be harmless. I probably got mine from constantly rubbing my eyes lately.
Another rant is that I bought a variable output e-cig which is awesome, but the clearo doesn't work for it. It works on my other e-cigs though I've had that happen with other devices in the past, but it makes no sense. My other clearos work with the new one just fine. I even tightened the new ones extra hard and it worked for a second and then stopped. I guess it's just not making a connection for some reason.

I also have to go to the other town today... all stinking day The girlfriend arrives at 1:30 but counseling isn't until 6. I'm not going to have the gas to wander around or even idle with the AC running. Gah! What a hassle!

Anyone have any tips for college? I've been half-assing it up until now, and I want to really immerse myself in college life this time around. I haven't been in a classroom setting in a long time, so I'm not really sure what I should be doing when I get there.

I just hope I don't get weirdly intense in there; I think I've gone hypomanic again and I'm hoping I'll be able to stabilize before class starts.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

The server he was trying to join isn't my server. I'm sure that server is far more active and that's why dutchraptor is attached to it. That said, if anyone is looking for a normal survival server to join, PM me. We desperately want new regulars in the server but there are none besides me and my bf, since Zhaylin left. There are a few people who will hop in like once a week or so.

I'll join, I'm currently playing terra firma craft but I'll revert to standard minecraft for the server
The only problem is I get a really bad ping on servers from america.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Anyone have any tips for college? I've been half-assing it up until now, and I want to really immerse myself in college life this time around. I haven't been in a classroom setting in a long time, so I'm not really sure what I should be doing when I get there.

I just hope I don't get weirdly intense in there; I think I've gone hypomanic again and I'm hoping I'll be able to stabilize before class starts.

Join a club or society, and work steady.
In my own experience people who join clubs are less likely to drop out + it gives you something to do.

Originally Posted by Astaroth

Oh my god not againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. This is like a circle, did I do something in another life and now I'm damned to be in some sort of space-temp loop? All the guys that seem nice and I end up liking are impossible things, like, ALL of them.
I'm going to laugh out loud because this is ridiculous.

Welcome to the club! It's lonely in here

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Anyone have any tips for college? I've been half-assing it up until now, and I want to really immerse myself in college life this time around. I haven't been in a classroom setting in a long time, so I'm not really sure what I should be doing when I get there.

I just hope I don't get weirdly intense in there; I think I've gone hypomanic again and I'm hoping I'll be able to stabilize before class starts.

Not sure about "college life", I tend to avoid all the stuff people do like clubs etc. but only coz I need to study a lot and that's what I'm there for. Don't even have friends from there, just people I talk to in some classes.

As for in general, eat well, get 8 hours sleep every night. Even if you have more to study and a test the next day, get 8 hours sleep no matter what, even if it means you have to study less. You may not know how to figure out a question or two, but at least you'll be in a wakeful state to answer all the other questions properly!


Rave-ish: Just finished the last of my weed. Listened to Sigur Ros and was really relaxing.
I was trying to have a shower, and trying to blow my nose, and I couldn't coz every time I breathed in deep, I would start laughing. Was really annoying but funny.
Got a bit nostalgic listening to Sigur Ros though.... knew I shouldn't have shared those songs with her....

I have decided I'm going to book an appointment with optometrist soon to see if I can get my eyes fixed. It will make a major difference in my life if I don't have to constantly focus on keeping my eyes focused and working together (my eyes pretty much don't.... co-operate, I have to consciously make them co-operate). Just hoping something can be done.