DropTherapy
Member

This dream took place in my childhood home. People from the government were in my living room and I had some trash I needed to discard. In an attempt to toss it in the trash, I accidentally threw it at one of the government workers, a shorter blonde woman. Immediately, she turned around and said she was going to kill me. I asked her if it was because I was trans and if she really thought I was evil and she said yes to both. Cut to me in a black van with her and another blonde-haired stockier white woman. I saw them driving towards a lake and that's approximately when I realized they were trying to drown me by driving in there. They got out of the car and swam up to the surface, failing to lock the car doors so that I could drown properly. In attempting to leave the lake, I was grabbed by the arm.

In another part of the dream I was being treated without humanity. Several people entered my room, escorted by one of the government agents, with the intent to rent it out. This I believe is inspired by the fact that at one point when I was still living in Sacramento, A family was invited by the landlord into our house while we were still living there with the interest in purchasing it. Most of the people called me He and treated me as an animal that was simply inhabiting the room they intended on living in. I tried hiding my face with my phone so as to perhaps avoid being clocked as trans, but I suppose by then the mass dehumanization of trans people had already happened. My first thought was "what the fuck? How am I gonna make music and art or have privacy? This is deliberate psychological torture". Most of the potential renters left and the person who remained was a white dude with pink hair and a scraggly, brown beard. He still treated me like a subhuman creature, but he gave me attention and a degree of dignity despite still misgendering me and let me snuggle up to him while he was in a chair. I begged him to not let them know too much about me as by this point I had already confided in him far too much. He said he could try but he seemed incredibly hesitant, perhaps a queer person trying in vain to appeal to the regime. I became desperate and tried putting my arms around him and right as I was about to close in, my eyes opened and I immediately woke up at 5:30am to my empty room in the bay area that I reside in now.

While this dream is an encapsulated snapshot of my current issues, such as my anxiety about trans genocide and fascism, my attachment and trust issues, and my trauma surrounding being poor and abused by capitalism, it was also, in retrospect, kinda fucking hilarious in a lot of other ways. Like dude at least lock the car like what the fuck. Who taught you how to kill trannies?

All in all, reflecting on this dream makes me feel more hopeful about the future and reminds me of the fact that while I definitely know we're gonna suffer, the american empire will absolutely collapse in my lifetime, even if they get me in a year. An empire collapses every 250 years.

Me and someone else were on a ship of some sort, or at least that's what it seemed like. Outside of the windows, it was pitch black nothingness and inside it was a postmodern apartment. Me and this other person were on a date and he seemed really hesitant and flat out denied an opportunity to meet his dad, an older Jewish/Italian man who was quite eccentric. He'd laugh to himself about something and then refuse to tell us what was so funny, but eventually I started to notice things disappearing, such as a lot of the apartment save for a bedroom and a narrow corner hallway that leads out of it, and I got really terrified. Eventually it got urgent for me and I asked him once more as my date looked at us from across the room. His father said "fine! You wanna know what's so funny? Here's what's so funny," grabbed my shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said "love is a bug!!!" And despite his apparent madness I could tell he was more right than anyone could possibly be. All I could do was laugh hysterically as my date said "he's being deleted right now. Don't take him too seriously". I watched him laugh to himself and melt and after a while so did me and my date. The last thing I saw was the ceiling as I imagined a meme of this scenario. The last thing I felt was my date's ooze against mine, and once I closed my eyes I felt my body dematerialize into the void it came from.

I think the overall idea of this dream is that I was going in and out of consciousness and explaining elements of my dreams to... Someone I was sharing a bed with? Documentary style??? One such element was a modification of either dph or heroin popular in the 4chan trans community that made the user hear an ominous text to speech voice followed by a feeling of intense dread and paralysis. The greek goddess Artemis herself took control of my body after I woke up, sat at the edge of the bed, turned on the lights, grasped her head and expressed grief and righteous parental concern at the idea of anyone doing that to herself. A lot of this part of the dream involved strategically looking at nothing and smothering my face in darkness so as to reduce the effect. At some other point after I fell back asleep in the dream, I was at what was supposedly the watt/I-80 station dropping off/making sure a housemate was alright to get where she needed to be. I told her of the similarities this scene had to the last dream, although the last dream was a nightmare and my housemate had a legit knife instead of a butter knife in her hand. We were overlooking a lake on a bridge. After taking the elevator down and avoiding eye contact with anything not directly in front of me, I hop onto the train back to... Watt/I-80? The point is I was taking the blue line back to the station near my house (which isn't that one). A fare inspector came by despite my expectation that since it was so early in the morning I'd be off the hook. He looked like my second year community college sociology professor and I noted the gorgeous frozen lake sunset scenery just as my zip pass randomly got deleted. He told me I had to get off and I said that was fine because this was my next stop. What should have been Watt/I-80 West or the one before that was "West Antarctic Station". I got off at a frozen riverbank where no train tracks appeared to be present. The river opened into the same gorgeous lake I pointed out to the fare inspector and I was officially stranded while waiting for the next train.

My girlfriend was in this dream somewhere at some point but I couldn't tell you where. There were also points in the dream where I got off at a bus stop at a corner store near an intersection in an otherwise nature-y area.

I was ordering takeout with my fiance. His mom was there who I quite do not like irl and so I simply told her "I haven't seen you in a while". Eventually morning came and we were still waiting on the sushi. Someone else we were with opted to order pizza, and so we were waiting for pizza as well. The place we were in was unfamiliar but it looked nice, albeit somewhat like a display in a store with how large the front window looking out onto the alley we were in was.

Next, I was in the bay area trying to locate the nearest practice space so my band could start doing stuff. Everyone else was there already and at first I was doing okay but eventually I found myself lost on the peninsula and was turned around quite a bit. I got help from the owner of a chinese restaurant that I promised I'd come back to afterwards and I was able to use their wifi. While trying to locate the studio in google maps which showed quite an odd version of the bay area and adjacent landmasses, I overheard a chinese woman talking to the owner, saying she was surprised she still remembered english. Afterwards I thanked them and was on my way towards geary street, which in the dream extended quite far down past san francisco. However, I found myself instead inside someone's incredibly poorly lit house. I found pieces of writing on the ground/on furniture and walls and pieces of paper that suggested that the person whose house I was in was an actor and eventually I found myself in the middle of my childhood kitchen. I hugged my grandma, who resembled more closely a stereotypical russian grandma and had an emotional moment with her where I said I felt bad that she probably always saw me as my mom's kid, which she seemed somewhat offended by in a "I would never see you like that" way before disappearing and leaving me in the kitchen. I gained lucidity when I realized that there's no way I could actually even be in this house anymore and I grabbed a small axe to defend myself before waking myself up and placing the hatchet on my computer desk. That being said I can tell you safely that I have never had an axe or hatchet of any kind so I don't know what that was about because it's certainly not there right now. It felt as if there was no clean transition between dreaming and wakefulness.

(At some point in a vaguely remembered separate fragment, I was discussing working with Set with someone I think)

I was ordering takeout with my fiance. His mom was there who I quite do not like irl and so I simply told her "I haven't seen you in a while". Eventually morning came and we were still waiting on the sushi. Someone else we were with opted to order pizza, and so we were waiting for pizza a well. The place we were in was unfamiliar but it looked nice, albeit somewhat like a display in a store with how large the front window looking out onto the alley we were in was.

Next, I was in the bay area trying to locate the nearest practice space so my band could start doing stuff. Everyone else was there already and at first I was doing okay but eventually I found myself lost on the peninsula and was turned around quite a bit. I got help from the owner of a chinese restaurant that I promised I'd come back to afterwards and I was able to use their wifi. While trying to locate the studio in google maps which showed quite an odd version of the bay area and adjacent landmasses, I overheard a chinese woman talking to the owner, saying she was surprised she still remembered english. Afterwards I thanked them and was on my way towards geary street, which in the dream extended quite far down past san francisco. However, I found myself instead inside someone's incredibly poorly lit house. I found pieces of writing on the ground/on furniture and walls and pieces of paper that suggested that the person whose house I was in was an actor and eventually I found myself in the middle of my childhood kitchen. I hugged my grandma, who resembled more closely a stereotypical russian grandma and had an emotional moment with her where I said I felt bad that she probably always saw me as my mom's kid, which she seemed somewhat offended by in a "I would never see you like that" way before disappearing and leaving me in the kitchen. I gained lucidity when I realized that there's no way I could actually even be in this house anymore and I grabbed a hatchet with my left hand to defend myself before waking myself up and placing the hatchet on my computer desk. That being said I can tell you safely that I have never had an axe or hatchet of any kind so I don't know what that was about because it's certainly not there right now. It felt as if there was no clean transition between dreaming and wakefulness.

(At some point in a vaguely remembered separate fragment, I was discussing working with Set with someone I think)