• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy

    I have a new* naming convention for characters:
    J - first appears in Issues and was my enemy for a while. (Jacob)
    N - my former crush. (Nicole)
    M - my ex. She convinced me that school ended after third period in one of my dreams. (Maddy)
    C - his first appearance is in Lost in the Green Building. (Carter)
    mmkk - His first appearance was in The UFO. (Kia)
    Z - While he isn't really a friend of mine, his first appearance is in Fake Gangs, a small Laptop, a crappy movie, and Bull of Heaven. (Zoe)
    A - mmkk's little sister. She first appeared in the same dream as Z. (Aliza)
    K - C's friend. (Kyle)
    MB - another friend of mine. (Megan)
    V - K and C's friend.
    W - C's Ex (Willow, now William)
    Ed - J's new name (Edynn)

    *this is actually outdated and I'll be calling them by their real names.

    1. The Trials and Tribulations of Trucker Life

      by , 12-14-2023 at 06:17 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      It starts out in an apartment, presumably around the Arden-north highlands area by the look of it. I was with a various group of people when a bullet crashes through the window. Me and everyone else get down in an attempt to save ourselves as we figure out the hitman's target. Turns out it's this woman who was with us. The shooter enters the apartment and I ask why he's doing this. He says it's because she won't reply to him on tumblr, which seems to activate a pity response in everyone, so we hug him and tell him everything is okay.

      After that situation settles, I, who for some reason am some heavy set white middle aged trucker dude in this dream, not unlike muscle man's dad from regular show, exit the apartment, climb down the stairs, and realize that in the space between buildings a couple of guy fawkes mask wearing killers are approaching me. Being aware of the dream at this point, I attempt to fly away to the bus stop I was intending to catch, and then I wake up, however I can't completely do so. I lose visual of the dream, but the audio is clear as ever, as well as the sensation of a blond kid pestering me about my wings and how his brother has the same ones.

      In the faux waking world, I am in the room of my childhood home at night, dodging various vague figures in the shadows whose existence is merely implied. I try various things, including screaming, singing "bring me to life" by evanescence, which comes out as pathetic whimpering, and hobbling over to the light switch whenever my attempts very briefly succeed enough for me to be semi-conscious. My entire body felt numb but I realized I had leverage whenever I scratched the back of my thigh relatively deeply. In the dream I was in front of a post as I was singing bring me to life while scratching myself, and eventually it works and I finally do wake up. Turns out I was literally just being restrained by my fiance, who was nearly sleeping ON me.
    2. A late goodbye

      by , 07-30-2023 at 05:20 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      The dream started in a house that was a mix of my house, my guitarist's, and my fiance's houses. My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a concert for a band that doesn't exist. We ended up just walking through some suburbs in fancy goth outfits but it was still nice. We then went outback, where there was a super nature-y neighborhood (mainly trailers and tents and stuff but also some houses) where she wanted to check out a listing for a 3 bedroom trailer. We got there and it was a one bedroom/studio trailer with a giant pylon installed through it. Needless to say, she needed to keep searching.

      Later, I show a friend (either it was Edynn or one of my headmates, hard to tell) the listing, and it was gone. We continued through the neighborhood and saw drive in theaters playing sci-fi movies about robots and 3D models of trailers. We then came upon an exact replica of my childhood home.

      Upon entering, my grandma was in the kitchen. She was talking incoherently and on the stand in front of the back window was a small paperback cook book she authored after she lost lucidity. The book was page after page of incoherent nonsense with illustrations of recipes made from ingredients that don't exist. Think AI generated food but it looked as if they were actual photos. I go up to her and ask "hey grandma, what made you decide to make a cook book?" And she responded by taking it out of my hands, mumbling vaguely about regret, and beginning to tear it up page by page. I panicked and took it out of her hands, to which she responded by screaming at me and chasing me and my friend out the front door.

      Before we could fully leave, she stopped and began to apologize to her late husband, which we soon connected the dots as representing an attempt to apologize to me directly. For a moment, we saw a glimpse into the memories she was living through in that moment, sitting on a recliner in front of a shadowy, warped figure. It was like it was projected in front of us and the grandma that was in front of me temporarily vanished. When she came back, we hugged as she talked, and an illustration of a lion showed up behind us, after which I audibly said "oh my god, you're still alive" and began crying in her arms. The whole time I should mention that sad symphonic movie music was playing. I don't remember if I told her I loved her or not. I suppose this whole scene was my brain's roundabout way of saying she was still alive in my heart or something like that.

      I woke up crying for the first time ever about my grandmother's death since it happened in September 2019. I suppose I deliberately prevented myself from saying goodbye in the waking world so as to not have to handle emotions that I was still afraid of at the time. I don't know if she would have approved of me being trans or any of the other stuff I came out as since her death, but she tried her hardest to raise me even as her dementia got worse, so I have something to thank her for regardless.


      RIP Martha Flinchum, 1933-2019

      Updated 07-30-2023 at 06:44 PM by 89498

      Categories
      memorable , non-lucid
    3. Earth's Pocket of Mars

      by , 04-16-2022 at 05:09 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a dream where humanity found an underwater portion of mars underground and dug a large hole into it that resided in the center lobby of a tall, square shaped hotel complex in the middle of nowhere. The government required everyone interested in travelling down there to take a pill to improve respiration underwater and give the body a natural capacity for filtering toxins, thehe side effect being suicidal ideation. I remember being ignored in the dream and then taking the elevator to the top of the hotel where some people coaxed me down. a little bit afterwards there were reports of increasing radiation in Earth's pocket of mars due to human activity and I became horribly depressed to see us as a species ruin another pretty cool thing. On a separate occasion I remember almost taking too much estrogen. The worst part about this dream is that I have felt feelings that are kind of a precursor to how I felt suicidal in the dream, especially last night when I was too invested in drama between friends and was too stoned to emotionally handle it properly.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. Sorry, Calvin

      by , 04-01-2022 at 05:07 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a dream where I was at someone's house. I remember being in the pool and in the laundry room, where I overheard someone say that those who hasn't had sex yet would often do it with mothers that aren't their own so there's less judgement.

      After that, I was at the upper level of a pretty nice appartment with my dream friend, Calvin. They seemed aware of their creation and asked of their origin and what I call them. I told them that I refer to them as Calvin and they got really mad at me, screeching and asking why I gave a native american a white person's name. They left and I put on some non-existent music immidiately after it all happened. The album cover on my phone was that of a statue of Buddha, but I don't remember what the song sounded like. If I recall, I began to write a song expressing my regret, for whatever reason referring to calvin as Mackerole.

      Afterwards, I went outside in order to feel better and hung out with some Australian people who were eating some homemade coleslaw.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. I Strongly Dislike Cloud

      by , 03-02-2022 at 05:02 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember being at school and loudly criticizing the new plans for the curriculum amd the way they were gonna start doing things in class. The principal said the old ways were unsustainable. After that, me and Aaron were stopping by a gender clinic before heading to his place. I went in and an old lady asked me questions about the effects of Testosterone. I gave a similar response to what I would give irl. I later come to learn that the kid getting the hormones is named Cloud and he already passes as male quite well. He had messy straight black hair and a blue graphic short sleeve button-down shirt, as well as gray, baggy cargo shorts. We talked for a bit and it turned out that he was a bit of a total asshole who didn't make an effort to be inclusive of most non-binary people. As he was leaving, I suppose I must have said something super aggravating because his older brother came out, grabbed me, and slapped the shit out of me, which I believe is turned into a beating in front of the clinic. My mom helped me out and I guess I got my book about spanking people back??? The dream kind of fell apart after a certain point.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. Afraid of the World

      by , 02-27-2022 at 04:59 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a dream earlier this morning where my mom's physical condition became progressively worse and it made me anxious about if it's even possible to live independently anymore. After I woke up, Aaron mentioned we could move to the Netherlands if push comes to shove but I'd miss my friends
    7. It's Finally Starting!

      by , 02-21-2022 at 04:57 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      My friend Chris has his own local tabletop RPG going from within our friend group irl called space D&D, which as of writing this I have made a character for and have been excited to play, but it's kept getting delayed for whatever reason. In this dream, I was at my old house waiting for him to be online for it, working on my Scottish accent for the character I intended to play. I asked my fiance what he thought and he jokingly said it was a 5 or 6/10 accent. I was in the kitchen when I saw chris and a few other people on a call, so I excitedly bolted upstairs and got on the call while shouting "YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!". I joined as people were talking about their families, but I could tell something was off in their intonation, along with the fact that I didn't recognize a lot of the voices in the call. With this realization, I started to feel defeated and frustrated, because by this point I could tell none of this was real. I then woke up.
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    8. Trans Memes at a Wedding

      by , 02-21-2022 at 04:54 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I was observing a wedding between a muslim woman and some white dude outside of the commissary where I work and it devolved into a debate on gay marriage. I was on my computer looking at the imaginary track "horns don't work" off of my actual 2017 album "another whisper in the wall" when someone (possibly the groom) came up to me and asked whar I thought, after which I had an intense mental breakdown where I expressed that I didn't care and just wanted to look at Reddit, which I was presently scrolling for memes about estrogen. Afterwards I was trying to find a good guitar tone for my new album because the night before irl I was watching a video where in the comments section they were talking about how a low gain guitar tone with a punchy kick drum and thick bass tone can sound super heavy. In the dream I was tweaking the track "answer the phone" off of my 2021 album "The Sawn Off Horn". For whatever reason, this was in a real life interface, for lack of a better term. I was outside a building and the different mixing channels that you would normally find in FL Studio were hidden inside bushes. Once I found the distortion plugin for the guitar, I woke up.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. Ruining Everything

      by , 02-19-2022 at 04:52 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember that the dream involved me playing roblox harmlessly at first, however things quickly took a dark turn when I went to see four of my friends, one of which is one I have in real life.

      For no particular reason, I started doing unspeakable things to them, depriving each of them of one of their five senses. One of them lost their hearing because I jammed a knife so far into their ear canal that I punctured the ear drum, one of them lost the ability to speak, and one of them was both deaf, blind, and mute, and possibly incapable of feeling anything. Another one was locked in a shower. For whatever reason, none of them reacted to any of this, and one of them seemed to almost enjoy it. After all was said and done, I kinda just left them there in the bathroom that this had been done in. My friend Ren was horrified by what I did and publicly called out not me but the action of what I did. No one else cared, but I felt guilty the entire time regardless. I remember going on an episode of either the Simpsons, Malcolm in the middle, or both to confess to my crimes, but I couldn't talk about it because they were only interested in things that would make them money, so hal talked with an interviewer in a kitchen about the time one of his kids did something stupid. Regardless, the whole ordeal was an experience of handling guilt. A few of the locations I was in included inside a giant hardware store-ish thing, outside a shopping center, in a bathroom, and on a TV set.

      One of the people I desecrated looked like max, another like trinity, and another looked like a small electronica musician I saw live once. I feel horrible about all of this and would never wish harm on any of those people. One of them is a somewhat close friend, another one is extremely nice, and the musician seemed cool.

      The fact that this dream was had after I started feeling like school was falling apart isn't a coincidence. I'm glad I have Aaron comforting me right now.
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    10. "hint hint"

      by , 02-18-2022 at 04:50 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I had a funny dream this morning where a kid asked me out by giving me an apple and saying "hint hint", followed by him giving me another apple without saying anything after five seconds. I turned him down because he said he was 15 but he looked and sounded like he was 11. I was in a larger version of the school and had just gotten out of a classroom where mrs. Austin had long, pink hair and Edynn sat parallel to me.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    11. Various Mini-Dreams

      by , 02-07-2022 at 04:48 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      The first dream involved some kind of deal at some guy's house in the neighborhood I grew up in. I remember a bike with no rider riding itself into me on the road. It seemed to turn the opposite direction of the one I turned, but I guess I decided to tackle it head-on like an idiot.

      The second dream seemed a bit cut down the middle. One part was about helping my mom see which clothes would work for her. I'd put on the shirts and since we look so similar I guess, I'd make the judgement for her based on how I looked in it.

      The second part was about an upcoming catastrophe where magma would erupt out of every hole in the ground and flood the earth. Our idea was to cover all of the holes except for one so that even if a large part of the earth was still scorched, there would at least be a safe zone on the other side of the planet. This mainly took place at my current school, and I remember sean from elementary and middle school texting me about something while I was trying to help not get myself killed.


      There was a pink, thin long-sleeved shirt my mom didn't want to look good on her but it looked okay on me so I told her it somewhat suited her and she half-jokingly sweared under her breath.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    12. Various Mini-Dreams

      by , 02-07-2022 at 04:48 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      The first dream involved some kind of deal at some guy's house in the neighborhood I grew up in. I remember a bike with no rider riding itself into me on the road. It seemed to turn the opposite direction of the one I turned, but I guess I decided to tackle it head-on like an idiot.

      The second dream seemed a bit cut down the middle. One part was about helping my mom see which clothes would work for her. I'd put on the shirts and since we look so similar I guess, I'd make the judgement for her based on how I looked in it.

      The second part was about an upcoming catastrophe where magma would erupt out of every hole in the ground and flood the earth. Our idea was to cover all of the holes except for one so that even if a large part of the earth was still scorched, there would at least be a safe zone on the other side of the planet. This mainly took place at my current school, and I remember sean from elementary and middle school texting me about something while I was trying to help not get myself killed.


      There was a pink, thin long-sleeved shirt my mom didn't want to look good on her but it looked okay on me so I told her it somewhat suited her and she half-jokingly sweared under her breath.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    13. You are Lost

      by , 11-17-2021 at 02:35 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember being in this sort of dream world where different passageways lead to different parts of the dream. In one faithful instance of stupidity, I found myself going through a tunnel with some people that lead to a relatively large, dark expanse and then coming out the other side alone. The setting I found myself in was a roller rink's food court/resting area, but minus the actual roller rink itself.

      I tried to leave, but as I went further into the entrance I came through, I felt like I was being impeded by a stronger version of the same pitch black material that my trailer's blinds are made of. It felt as if I was completely enveloped in it the harder I tried to power through it. Eventually, I decided to call upon the help of a tall, vaguely emaciated looking figure who must have been the god of this realm. He told me that in order to get through, I needed to maintain a state of absolute calm, and only then will the passageways to other parts of the dream be opened to me.

      I decided it was worth a shot. I walked in as far as I could, already missing whatever I was doing before I found myself in this predicament, laid down, took a few deep breaths, and suddenly I felt as if I was no longer being crushed like before. The first few attempts to leave were unsuccessful due to me losing my sense of calm and/or focus, but eventually I did make it to doorways that lead elsewhere.

      The problem, however, is that none of these were desirable locations. A lot of them featured nightmarish creatures and dead ends, causing me to have to make it back to the roller rink area. A lot of them featured an entity resembling a very short old african american lady with no arms, although its human appearance was only a fluke. In actuality, it was as far removed from any kind of humanity as possible, acting either as a cunning, highly manipulative predator or a mindlessly cannibalistic one.

      After what felt like at least an hour of searching, I made it to a small room with heavy green lighting and an old-fashioned wallpaper that featured vertical stripes and other decorative designs. The room itself was probably slightly larger than an average closet space, and across from me was a door that I presumed to at least lead to somewhere more feasible. The issue, however, was the presence right next to the door of an instance of the afforementioned creature and another, much larger and bulkier one that might have been wearing a tuxedo and had a face similar to the vaguely insmuth looking people from tool's music video for parabola. behind them was a chair and a few food bowls full of what looked like cat food.

      I thought that maybe I could dart past them and open the door, however I didn't consider the possibility of it being locked, and once they spotted me, they both attempted to attack/take bites out of me, to which I got angry and adrenaline-filled and knocked over the chair and food bowls, eventually causing me to wake up. I remember thinking to myself, "oh thank god finally".

      Updated 11-17-2021 at 02:52 PM by 89498

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    14. HONK

      by , 10-12-2021 at 01:33 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      I remember talking to a couple of people from new zealand that I hadn't talked to since freshman year. They were about to enter a video call and when I asked if I could join they profusely apologized for not letting me on it back in freshman year.

      Afterwards, I made my way to my trailer, where Edynn and her friend came around a couple of times when I wasn't looking. I remember one occasion that night in which I almost got to talk to Edynn but she ran off with a smaller version of herself and they had both changed their name to John. Whoever I was with gave me a cheap christmas decoration to hang up on the door while they played christmas music and by the time Edynn came around again I started jokingly doing devil horns with my hands to the music and headbanging. The person sitting in the driver's seat (guess my trailer became an RV?) Started honking the hilariously off-key horn. I laughed hysterically until I woke up, after which I'm I noted how non-hysterically I was actually laughing in real life and just how much I was drooling in my sleep.

      Updated 10-12-2021 at 01:35 PM by 89498

      Categories
      Uncategorized
    15. Band Rehearsal

      by , 10-05-2021 at 02:58 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      This first fragment took place after another part of the dream. I was reading a webcomic with some live action elements until it slowly turned into peter griffin watching historical baseball games in an isolated room.

      The next fragment featured me and Chris in what looked like someone's back yard. They were advertising a product meant for motor vehicles from around the 1920's and 30's. When I was explaining this to Chris, I pointed to an old rusty broken down Ford truck from that time period that was directly across from us. There was also a large, hollow green plant that I tried using as pants but there was only one leg's worth and it didn't fit me anyway.

      In the next part, me, Chris, and some other people were in a band, and we were going to play Lake Song by Window Girl at an open mic night. Before we played we went around a local shopping center looking for stuff. I remember there being a store for highly advanced watches, although everything was out of my price range.

      Eventually me and Chris were at my work and I was on my computer looking for files on it. There were some cursed creepypasta type videos for some reason, along with some older videos from the early to mid 20th century. I then realized that I was in the public documents section and went to my own private files and found what I was looking for, which was one of our work in progress original songs. He said the subject matter was a lot darker than what he usually likes and I took the feedback. After reviewing it with chris, he left and went back to the rest of the band.

      Sometime before he left, he said the open mic night started at 7:30PM. It was just before then that I realized that I can't sing and play at the same time, no matter how simple the bass line to Lake Song is. I started panicking, frantically texting chris and pacing around my work's warehouse until he said they'd just cover something without me, which if I remember correctly, actually stressed me out way more.

      Somehow this led to a totally unrelated fragment where I was a male asian doctor partaking in experiments that were being done on me. There was a chair with mutiple different settings on the side that I was asked to sit in among a room of researchers that treated me like a colleague except for the head researcher. I sat in the chair and the head researcher turned it on, which caused a lot of electricity to be expelled. I frantically got out after seeing what settings were there, which included "autistic", the R slur, and something else. I told him that I was already autistic and he said "well that explains why your ex fiance was your husband", or some more coherent yet somehow harder to remember form of that. The researchers all got mad at him and started to speak up about the homophobic remarks.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
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