memorable

Me and someone else were on a ship of some sort, or at least that's what it seemed like. Outside of the windows, it was pitch black nothingness and inside it was a postmodern apartment. Me and this other person were on a date and he seemed really hesitant and flat out denied an opportunity to meet his dad, an older Jewish/Italian man who was quite eccentric. He'd laugh to himself about something and then refuse to tell us what was so funny, but eventually I started to notice things disappearing, such as a lot of the apartment save for a bedroom and a narrow corner hallway that leads out of it, and I got really terrified. Eventually it got urgent for me and I asked him once more as my date looked at us from across the room. His father said "fine! You wanna know what's so funny? Here's what's so funny," grabbed my shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said "love is a bug!!!" And despite his apparent madness I could tell he was more right than anyone could possibly be. All I could do was laugh hysterically as my date said "he's being deleted right now. Don't take him too seriously". I watched him laugh to himself and melt and after a while so did me and my date. The last thing I saw was the ceiling as I imagined a meme of this scenario. The last thing I felt was my date's ooze against mine, and once I closed my eyes I felt my body dematerialize into the void it came from.

I think the overall idea of this dream is that I was going in and out of consciousness and explaining elements of my dreams to... Someone I was sharing a bed with? Documentary style??? One such element was a modification of either dph or heroin popular in the 4chan trans community that made the user hear an ominous text to speech voice followed by a feeling of intense dread and paralysis. The greek goddess Artemis herself took control of my body after I woke up, sat at the edge of the bed, turned on the lights, grasped her head and expressed grief and righteous parental concern at the idea of anyone doing that to herself. A lot of this part of the dream involved strategically looking at nothing and smothering my face in darkness so as to reduce the effect. At some other point after I fell back asleep in the dream, I was at what was supposedly the watt/I-80 station dropping off/making sure a housemate was alright to get where she needed to be. I told her of the similarities this scene had to the last dream, although the last dream was a nightmare and my housemate had a legit knife instead of a butter knife in her hand. We were overlooking a lake on a bridge. After taking the elevator down and avoiding eye contact with anything not directly in front of me, I hop onto the train back to... Watt/I-80? The point is I was taking the blue line back to the station near my house (which isn't that one). A fare inspector came by despite my expectation that since it was so early in the morning I'd be off the hook. He looked like my second year community college sociology professor and I noted the gorgeous frozen lake sunset scenery just as my zip pass randomly got deleted. He told me I had to get off and I said that was fine because this was my next stop. What should have been Watt/I-80 West or the one before that was "West Antarctic Station". I got off at a frozen riverbank where no train tracks appeared to be present. The river opened into the same gorgeous lake I pointed out to the fare inspector and I was officially stranded while waiting for the next train.

My girlfriend was in this dream somewhere at some point but I couldn't tell you where. There were also points in the dream where I got off at a bus stop at a corner store near an intersection in an otherwise nature-y area.

I was ordering takeout with my fiance. His mom was there who I quite do not like irl and so I simply told her "I haven't seen you in a while". Eventually morning came and we were still waiting on the sushi. Someone else we were with opted to order pizza, and so we were waiting for pizza as well. The place we were in was unfamiliar but it looked nice, albeit somewhat like a display in a store with how large the front window looking out onto the alley we were in was.

Next, I was in the bay area trying to locate the nearest practice space so my band could start doing stuff. Everyone else was there already and at first I was doing okay but eventually I found myself lost on the peninsula and was turned around quite a bit. I got help from the owner of a chinese restaurant that I promised I'd come back to afterwards and I was able to use their wifi. While trying to locate the studio in google maps which showed quite an odd version of the bay area and adjacent landmasses, I overheard a chinese woman talking to the owner, saying she was surprised she still remembered english. Afterwards I thanked them and was on my way towards geary street, which in the dream extended quite far down past san francisco. However, I found myself instead inside someone's incredibly poorly lit house. I found pieces of writing on the ground/on furniture and walls and pieces of paper that suggested that the person whose house I was in was an actor and eventually I found myself in the middle of my childhood kitchen. I hugged my grandma, who resembled more closely a stereotypical russian grandma and had an emotional moment with her where I said I felt bad that she probably always saw me as my mom's kid, which she seemed somewhat offended by in a "I would never see you like that" way before disappearing and leaving me in the kitchen. I gained lucidity when I realized that there's no way I could actually even be in this house anymore and I grabbed a small axe to defend myself before waking myself up and placing the hatchet on my computer desk. That being said I can tell you safely that I have never had an axe or hatchet of any kind so I don't know what that was about because it's certainly not there right now. It felt as if there was no clean transition between dreaming and wakefulness.

(At some point in a vaguely remembered separate fragment, I was discussing working with Set with someone I think)

I was ordering takeout with my fiance. His mom was there who I quite do not like irl and so I simply told her "I haven't seen you in a while". Eventually morning came and we were still waiting on the sushi. Someone else we were with opted to order pizza, and so we were waiting for pizza a well. The place we were in was unfamiliar but it looked nice, albeit somewhat like a display in a store with how large the front window looking out onto the alley we were in was.

Next, I was in the bay area trying to locate the nearest practice space so my band could start doing stuff. Everyone else was there already and at first I was doing okay but eventually I found myself lost on the peninsula and was turned around quite a bit. I got help from the owner of a chinese restaurant that I promised I'd come back to afterwards and I was able to use their wifi. While trying to locate the studio in google maps which showed quite an odd version of the bay area and adjacent landmasses, I overheard a chinese woman talking to the owner, saying she was surprised she still remembered english. Afterwards I thanked them and was on my way towards geary street, which in the dream extended quite far down past san francisco. However, I found myself instead inside someone's incredibly poorly lit house. I found pieces of writing on the ground/on furniture and walls and pieces of paper that suggested that the person whose house I was in was an actor and eventually I found myself in the middle of my childhood kitchen. I hugged my grandma, who resembled more closely a stereotypical russian grandma and had an emotional moment with her where I said I felt bad that she probably always saw me as my mom's kid, which she seemed somewhat offended by in a "I would never see you like that" way before disappearing and leaving me in the kitchen. I gained lucidity when I realized that there's no way I could actually even be in this house anymore and I grabbed a hatchet with my left hand to defend myself before waking myself up and placing the hatchet on my computer desk. That being said I can tell you safely that I have never had an axe or hatchet of any kind so I don't know what that was about because it's certainly not there right now. It felt as if there was no clean transition between dreaming and wakefulness.

(At some point in a vaguely remembered separate fragment, I was discussing working with Set with someone I think)

At one point I was in my bed silently worshipping/basking in the positive vibes of a few different demons, such as lucifer and ipos, but also a third deity whose name I don't remember. They radiated masculine energy and their name was one to two syllables. The color yellow was prevalent in my head at the time and their appearance in my head may have been not too dissimilar to a greek deity perhaps. Zeta made me food. Only we lived in my room. Everything looked a little emptier and a bit messier and the mini fridge was on the opposite side of the room to where it is irl

I don't know when this happened in the dream but I was talking to Edynn's grandparents and failed horrifically at recalling the czech I had learned. They were teasing me about it

I was doing my laundry in the parking lot of the arden fair mall and talking to people about musical gear

I was on the light rail at a passenger seat while someone operating the train was pirating stuff for my computer, ranging from games that don't exist to titles like subnautica. I saw a friend of axelle's outside at a train station and at one point I saw a digital sign being like "don't pirate games" with an angry face emoticon next to it that I disregarded

I found this really short trans woman at my old house being all weird. She was up to maybe my knees and I got mad and told her I could punt her across the street if I wanted to. Her height changed to that of roughly 6'7 and I immediately gained substantially different feelings about her. While distinct, her appearance resembles my girlfriend's friend who I have not met yet. I asked her how old she was and she said she was 37. We started to get quite sensual. At some point I was organizing vaporwave music and trying to move it from a dream folder into a folder on my irl computer. Cut to a different point in the dream. I'm trying to find this dream character's house, which I do successfully. It's quite a small area and she expresses the desire to have sex, which we begin to do.

At some point I'm in Edynn's front yard on a vibrant summer day except it's not her house because I suppose she doesn't exist in this dream. There seems to be a celebration of sorts going on, and I run into a childhood friend of mine who is still as he was when we were kids because I don't know what he currently looks like. I told him he looked like that one kid from the little rascals (which may have been kinda racist to say to be honest) and he says "oh hey he's actually upstairs playing video games if you wanna say hi" while absolutely going crazy on the drums. I head upstairs to find a very clearly queer teenager and I say hi while he keeps playing his switch/psp. I go to the room across from where I was on the upstairs level and somehow I'm convinced I have woken up until I see some peculiar looking old guys who questioned my awakeness. I then looked at my hand, which was missing a finger.


I wake up back in the reality where I am currently facing eviction from my house. I think someone was giving me a break, and I hope I run into some of these dream characters again.

Omar Rodriguez Lopez found himself in a dreamscape of a simulacrum of the San Francisco bay area and somewhere in south america. He was on a street on an incredibly high hill with a remarkable overlook into the woods below. The dreamscape shared a lot in common with his waking world, albeit certain businesses on the main street were open and some were closed of abandoned. In the background were discussions about hip replacement surgery and menstruation as he navigated this dreamscape and tried to look for something in particular. Whenever he wanted to wake up he would find a specific fenced corridor decorated with foliage to travel through. What started out as an empty street soon became full of kids playing and businesses operating. I forget what it was he was looking for. Perhaps it was some sort of personal truth. He drank some dirty water at one point and eventually woke up in a bathtub in one of these abandoned places. An old lady that ran one of the restaurants introduced him to some of the kids he saw in the dream.

I'm unsure how to explain it but this dream evoked a type of liminal feeling introspective/retrospective feeling you can only get in dreams. It's an odd and fascinating feeling. Quite peaceful.

It starts out in an apartment, presumably around the Arden-north highlands area by the look of it. I was with a various group of people when a bullet crashes through the window. Me and everyone else get down in an attempt to save ourselves as we figure out the hitman's target. Turns out it's this woman who was with us. The shooter enters the apartment and I ask why he's doing this. He says it's because she won't reply to him on tumblr, which seems to activate a pity response in everyone, so we hug him and tell him everything is okay.

After that situation settles, I, who for some reason am some heavy set white middle aged trucker dude in this dream, not unlike muscle man's dad from regular show, exit the apartment, climb down the stairs, and realize that in the space between buildings a couple of guy fawkes mask wearing killers are approaching me. Being aware of the dream at this point, I attempt to fly away to the bus stop I was intending to catch, and then I wake up, however I can't completely do so. I lose visual of the dream, but the audio is clear as ever, as well as the sensation of a blond kid pestering me about my wings and how his brother has the same ones.

In the faux waking world, I am in the room of my childhood home at night, dodging various vague figures in the shadows whose existence is merely implied. I try various things, including screaming, singing "bring me to life" by evanescence, which comes out as pathetic whimpering, and hobbling over to the light switch whenever my attempts very briefly succeed enough for me to be semi-conscious. My entire body felt numb but I realized I had leverage whenever I scratched the back of my thigh relatively deeply. In the dream I was in front of a post as I was singing bring me to life while scratching myself, and eventually it works and I finally do wake up. Turns out I was literally just being restrained by my fiance, who was nearly sleeping ON me.

The dream started in a house that was a mix of my house, my guitarist's, and my fiance's houses. My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a concert for a band that doesn't exist. We ended up just walking through some suburbs in fancy goth outfits but it was still nice. We then went outback, where there was a super nature-y neighborhood (mainly trailers and tents and stuff but also some houses) where she wanted to check out a listing for a 3 bedroom trailer. We got there and it was a one bedroom/studio trailer with a giant pylon installed through it. Needless to say, she needed to keep searching.

Later, I show a friend (either it was Edynn or one of my headmates, hard to tell) the listing, and it was gone. We continued through the neighborhood and saw drive in theaters playing sci-fi movies about robots and 3D models of trailers. We then came upon an exact replica of my childhood home.

Upon entering, my grandma was in the kitchen. She was talking incoherently and on the stand in front of the back window was a small paperback cook book she authored after she lost lucidity. The book was page after page of incoherent nonsense with illustrations of recipes made from ingredients that don't exist. Think AI generated food but it looked as if they were actual photos. I go up to her and ask "hey grandma, what made you decide to make a cook book?" And she responded by taking it out of my hands, mumbling vaguely about regret, and beginning to tear it up page by page. I panicked and took it out of her hands, to which she responded by screaming at me and chasing me and my friend out the front door.

Before we could fully leave, she stopped and began to apologize to her late husband, which we soon connected the dots as representing an attempt to apologize to me directly. For a moment, we saw a glimpse into the memories she was living through in that moment, sitting on a recliner in front of a shadowy, warped figure. It was like it was projected in front of us and the grandma that was in front of me temporarily vanished. When she came back, we hugged as she talked, and an illustration of a lion showed up behind us, after which I audibly said "oh my god, you're still alive" and began crying in her arms. The whole time I should mention that sad symphonic movie music was playing. I don't remember if I told her I loved her or not. I suppose this whole scene was my brain's roundabout way of saying she was still alive in my heart or something like that.

I woke up crying for the first time ever about my grandmother's death since it happened in September 2019. I suppose I deliberately prevented myself from saying goodbye in the waking world so as to not have to handle emotions that I was still afraid of at the time. I don't know if she would have approved of me being trans or any of the other stuff I came out as since her death, but she tried her hardest to raise me even as her dementia got worse, so I have something to thank her for regardless.


RIP Martha Flinchum, 1933-2019

Dream 1: I was running either away from or with patrick star across a city

Dream 2: me and a dream character who I befriended were making plans to escape across a city from the government in a giant paper airplane

Dream 3: The grocery store I worked at fell under new management and she was evil and made everyone wear gray uniforms, but I managed to convince hear to make them wear pink uniforms with purple pants and shoes instead.

Dream 4: I was talking to Jonochrome, creator of riddle school, about Jonochrome without realizing he was the one I was talking to. Meanwhile, he was streaming live footage of him walking across an ancient chinese landmark that was the longest math equation in history that spanned across an entire canyon.

Dream 4, part 2: I attempt to walk across the aforementioned math equation but it was made of reciept paper so I fell and nearly killed myself.

Dream 5: I was looking out the bathroom door of my trailer because an elderly couple drove their minivan into a giant hole filled with foamy water. They blamed me on it, and my mom's boyfriend came out to reason with them. Afterwards, I taught them how to tap a musical composition on the side of the trailer with their hands and distracted them with how cool they thought it was.

Dream 6: I was in my trailer park trying to get a picture of the sunset over the unusually cyberpunk looking scenery. I was specifically trying to take a picture of a point in the sunset in which the center of the sun is black and fractal like repetitions made the sun rays, and it seemed to rewind just to allow me to take the right picture. I showed my sister the photo and she thought it was pretty cool.

Dream 7: I was walking around in the shopping center by the place I was born with my non-existent, heavily intoxicated transmasculine femboy friend. He was wearing a pink skirt with a layer of green showing just under the top layer, with a similar looking crop-top. I went into the pet store and saw my ex boyfriend signing papers at a desk by the checkout area. I tried introducing him to my friend but it went bad because my friend could barely stand, let alone talk to people.

I remember the dream started with me in a house and neighborhood that I've never seen before. My aunt had found a temporary place to live off of a website and suggested it to me. I had invited either the cast of fairbairn films or the dream equivalent of them over and I wanted to do an interview although they didn't know if it would be good for their earnings. They made 73,000 dollars a year. After they left, I found some extra weed in some cabinets but decided against smoking it. I then remember overhearing that all of the toys of the kids in the neighborhood were gone, and I tried assisting a couple people in escaping the town with bags of supplies. After that, I left the city and found myself lost on someone's farm on the mountains, where I was chased into the lake by one of his severely inbred tigers. Apparently the dream went from a normal first person perspective to a vlog/minecraft let's play series or something because after that happened there was a psychedelic montage of the scenery that got progressively more abstract until it resulted in the end product of a baby swordfish. I turned off the video and either I was instantly in a car or there was a transitional bit I don't remember that led to me being in a car with my sister and my mom, who was driving. My sister was talking about life and I was explaining where I was now that I had just turned 18 (I am still 17 irl). We drove past an off-road fence through a natural location/farm (maybe even the same one considering that it looked like we were at a high-ish altitude) until we somehow found ourselves in a parking lot, and then I found myself at my childhood house by myself. People were moving stuff around and I was talking to a couple of Jamaican people. They had a couple exciting things I wanted to try out but couldn't because I was apparently not 18 yet in this part of the dream. This part somehow led to me ranting to an unknown individual about yugioh cards in some kind of unknown semi-futuristic space/sky city at night, which led to me talking about demon work. I was saying how I worked with furcas, (maybe) purson, amon, ipos, and one that I couldn't figure out the name of, although something tells me I was referring to Dantalion. I think I got it eventually because I was explaining to someone with me how he lives under one of the decorative white pillars in the city, specifically the slightly transparent rectangular ones with a spherical shape on top of them. I then said he lived in some other hidden location in the city, right before the guy asked which place he lived that I mentioned, and then I admitted that I hadn't done demon work in a long time. I don't remember if something happens after that, but I assume not because I woke up pretty fast. I haven't had a dream this vivid before and chances are it could be a sign that furcas and/or dantalion wants to work with me so I had to write it down.

I had a dream where I was at an apartment with my mom and I had to go outside to do something. There was also a celebration of some kind going on. I left when for some reason I decided to find a car to sit in for some reason. I sat on theo (ex boyfriend who I am on good terms with irl) on accident and noticed that Edynn was in the front seat and vicky from the fairly odd parents was there too. they told me to get out and that they didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Theo cited the fact that we were in a relationship and I didn't care as a reason. I couldn't articulate more than just screaming, specifically at edynn. I actually got so mad I tried scratching up her face, resulting in theo being harmed the most. I got out, told my mom about it, and she seemed more adamant about advertising that there was a two bedroom apartment we were gonna move into. I left and wandered around aimlessly for a while.

I remember being in a hotel room and saw the notorious B.I.G there with me. I said something along the lines of "wow you really do come across as big". he took offense to it, thinking I was referring to his weight, I clarified that I meant in regards go his presence and energy and then he got really hyped and started knocking stuff over and then left. Cut to a school. I was there with all the friends and students I had talked to in school throughout the years. I had a diary and nicknames. I remember seriously upsetting Jasmine and then apologizing. We stayed in dorms that resembled one star hotel rooms with the same sickening green color as the two star hotel I am in as of writing this. Shawn, a friend I used to know from elementary through middle school, had run into a warehouse after breaking down and being insecure about his musical skills. I eventually went back home and talked to my mom and decided we had to do something over at a different part of the building. We drove there, at one point talking about conspiracy theories and how I personally didn't get them, especially how they apparently gave people the urge to defect to remote locations. We made it to the building and then immidiately noticed the structure of the school location was flipped. There was a lightswitch that my mom got fixated on at the end of a hallway at an upper floor of the building. I was trying to get her attention when I saw someone walking towards the stairs next to us on a lower level. I noticed that there was a shoe replacing this person's head, freaked out, said "mom, these people are made of feet, we gotta go" and noticed that her head had turned into a shoe as well. The shoe person below me noticed my presence and ran full speed towards me as my mom stood mindlessly facing the lightswitch. I was attacked and then I woke up.

I was laying on my bed in the middle of the day with a pipe full of dried brown salvia leaves. I remember taking a hit of it and noticing how the leaves went from brown to green when I was smoking them. This could be seen as my first hallucination or as just a weird dream thing. Almost instantaneously I started hearing an oddly "synthetic" or artificial sounding shamanic music in my head as everything in my vision became wavey and brown/orange-tinted in color and I felt my physical being melting/decentigrating into what felt like a parallel dimension to ours. This caused me to feel like I was floating or levitating, which is typically the polar opposite of how actual salvia affects percieved gravity. I didn't quite break through but it felt like I was getting there. Do note that I didn't know too much about salvia before I woke up and researched it out of curiosity and my brain was mostly replicating what I remember from reading about other psychedelics like psilocybin mushrooms.

I was at school and we were doing a career orientation kind of thing. We were separated into boxlike structures and the supervisor asked me what my current interests were. My thought process went as follows:

-Well I like music but that's not very lucrative and I'd rather not hear him complain about that
-Oh wait! I just remembered that I have a lot of cotton laying around my house!

I remember seeing a red projection of a lower level of a house with white cotton balls scattered around. I mentioned that I had cotton lyring around my house and he said that a desirable career option could be picking cotton. In my head I thought to myself "Well I should be fine since it's not like the 1800s anymore"

The next part of the dream started when I walked downstairs and noticed a container of psilocybin mushrooms that haven't been picked yet. I went downstairs and immediately attempted to dose by cutting a mushroom in half. The scale told me I had 10 grams in my hand which when dried is equivalent to 1 gram which is a decently moderate experience. I ate that half with the intention of giving the bigger half to a friend and nothing happened. One thing I remember is that before I put it on the scale the mushroom changed to a regular edible mushroom that you can buy at a store. I remember the distinct taste of that kind of mushroom instead of the supposedly terrible taste of an actualy psilocybe cubensis mushroom.

Somehow, I had made it to heaven. My suspicion is that I was able to peek at it when sleeping. I find that heaven is a beurocratic, authoritarian regime and everything is constructed in the style of a renaissance-era town/city. The first thing I remember noticing is that there wasn't a single racial minority there. I remember overhearing a conversation from the higher-ups about the hazards that my arrival would bring and that no one is to know about it. At the same time someone from a slightly lower rank heard about it and started planning to sabotage the system. Later, me and a friend from real life who was also in heaven with me apparently found Leonardo DaVinci as he was entering his house and started asking him some questions. He looked less like DaVinci and more like Adam Jones from Tool, but that's not important. We asked him was his least favorite part of heaven was and he said "eh... the food" as he opened a compartment in his wall to reveal a large stick pretzel. I asked if it had anything to do with food shortages and he seemed a tad confused. I was talking about how I felt anxious and my friend said it could be because of my current sleeping position (I must have been asleep inside of the dream). I pulled out a phone screen with an unfinished verse of a rap song I was working on and my friend was shocked by how little I had finished and if I was okay. I then woke up. What I have noticed is that the best dreams are cut off by school days.

I might see if I can write a short story about this beurocratic ethnostate idea of heaven, but for now I have other stuff in life to worry about.