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    Meditation, Dhamma, LDing, Unorthodox Economics
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    Recent Entries

    October 23rd 2022 - Going into homelessness after a fight, and getting lucid

    by Lichi on 10-23-2022 at 11:12 AM
    The first thing I remember is that I was at my mom's house (the house that I lived in when I was 3-4). In the dream she was already divorced, and she was talking to her brother Fer about how my younger sister was really ill with seizures getting worse and worse, and cannabis oil helped her. Then I think she said something out of line, and we started arguing. And neither of us instead of letting it go, we kept escalating it... I wasn't going to let go because she was dead wrong and that behavior to me was unacceptable, and she didn't let go because (from my perspective) she's used to being stubborn like that. So it got to the point where we were going to get physically violent, and at that point I thought that it was just better to leave, and go homeless (because I didn't have anywhere else to stay) [Maybe my uncle endured a similar situation in his life. I know for a while he went homeless.] So I left with some food for the day, and with the resolution to not come back.
    When I left, I left jumping through roofs. Apparently the houses were all close together and that was the way to get to the streets. By the way, a detail is that when I left, I checked out. It was like I was checking out from a motel. Anyways, as I was jumping through the roofs I realized I could be dreaming, because jumping through roofs is unusual. Even though I was confident I might be dreaming, I only relied on the logic, so I wasn't completely certain. After all when you're dreaming dreams seem like waking reality. I didn't rush to do a conventional reality check. Instead I kept my mind open to look for any signs that would confirm I was dreaming, while I found out what it was that I should do next. So as I was staring around I saw nice gardens in the houses, and there was an empty, kind of abandoned house, so instinctively I decided to jump to the garden, but since it was like a 2 meters jump I decided to hang on the electricity cables that were hanging across the houses. And as I was hanging and swinging that's when I realized: "Hold on... If this were (waking) reality I would be fried. The fact that I'm not fried means that I'm most likely dreaming." So after that I was very confident I was dreaming. And so I swinged towards a wall, and decided to go through it as I was swinging. Since I was able to go through I confirmed further I was dreaming. So next thing I thought was: "Okay, so what should I do? (Since it's hard to think of anything) maybe I could do the DreamViews lucid dreaming tasks." I knew there were a few, but I couldn't really remember them, until I remembered (wrong) that one of the tasks was to ask a dream character what is it that they wanted? (When in fact the task was asking them how can I help them). So I stood on the wall again, and stared around, and saw many people: some on a playground, and another at a bar nextdoor. So I went to the bar, and from the wall I addressed a group of guys that were drinking beer, and I asked them "Hey, what do you want?". There were like 4-5 guys, and only 1 payed enough attention to reply. And he said "I want the sun and moon". And I was like "Okay (challenging), do you want me to get those for you?" while at the same time I was reflecting on what it meant: "(The sun meant something I cant remember yet [but possible options could be discernment, mindfulness or something else...], and the moon meant understanding)". And before I could do anything I woke up, because of being sensitive to a sound in waking reality.

    27th May 2020

    by Lichi on 05-27-2020 at 05:04 PM
    I went to sleep at 1:52. Before bed i meditated for about 30 minutes to calm my mind.

    I woke up at 6:52 a bit sweaty because i had clothes on and a lot of blankets (i noticed that i have better dream recall like that and more vivid dreams).

    I dreamt that i was visiting some elderly people in my family. It was nap time, and it's like they needed visiting because they needed to socialize otherwise their minds kind of like deteriorated. It was like 2 hours before we visited them though, but Teresa, my mom's aunt, held up really well, got herself entertained in solitude until we arrived. Maria, her sister, on the other hand was watching TV and of course her lucidity wasn't as good as Teresa.
    I just remember arriving, sitting at the table and talking a few things, but i don't recall what we talked about.

    Then in another fragment, i was in a room with some people, sitting at a table. And i don't know how we got to this topic but i was trying to explain that body contemplation (like Buddhism teaches it) is benefitial. There was a microphone in the table and it was like i was giving a podcast, but also while i was talking with these people in the table. There was a girl who i was adressing this message, but again idk why. Anyways she was listening attentively. As i was explaining though, i couldn't convince her nor myself of what i was saying. It was the way i was saying it, because within i'm already conviced of this. I was trying to describe the body parts to contemplate, but meanwhile i was asking myself why? So i was speaking and internally i had this kind of dilemma. So i tried to reason some purpose in my mind and i started repeating the messsage all over again, from the basics. So i mentioned the purpose of this kind of contemplation, that it was to counteract lust particularly with the body, and that you should contemplate the organs, the blood, the nerves (as i was thinking what else, i was saying it out loud. That was kind of cool because i was exercising my memory & thinking in a dream). Then it seems the girl understood the idea, and she replied something like "oh, it sounds much like the Sufi religion" and in my mind i was like "no, not at all... I don't think Sufism actually teaches this. I would believe you if it were Hinduism or Jainism, but even then no."
    After that (or while i was hearing that) i was watching a fight scene of a girl about 20 years old with a guy about 40, by the door. They were practicing freestyle wrestling but the guy was destroying her. In one of the times he throws her to the floor, she falls with her head and she cracks it open and her brains get splattered over the floor. I was in shock. But immediately doctors come out and operate her in the spot putting her brains inside again like it was nothing.

    I recorded some dream notes so i wouldn't forget and went back to sleep. Then at 8:55 i woke up again.

    I dreamt i was meditating in my father's house. There was like a coaching retreat, but it was like i decided i would not participate so i could meditate. And my father was cool with that.
    Then i was in like an island. I think it was the same retreat, but we were going to do a parachuting activity. I was standing in a cliff but not so tall, and down you could go to the beach of the sea.
    I was there until it got dark. I noticed that i would get hungry soon. And my dad went to look for me by that time.

    Then i had a false awakening. I was in my room and i got up and out to the living room. I spoke a bit with my sister. She had the TV on because since my older sister watched that program (which irl she doesn't actually so idk where that came from XD) she left it on for me. But i don't watch TV so i replied kinda angrily (because i felt like she was trying to manipulate me or something).

    Then i woke up.

    21st May 2020

    by Lichi on 05-21-2020 at 06:53 PM
    I went to sleep at 1:09 am.

    At 4:44 i woke up and recorded the dream i just had.

    I was in a city with many buildings. The time was in the 1910's to 30's probably. There were 2 planes and one was about to crash a building where some soldiers from many countries were staying. There weren't too many soldiers, probably in total they might have been like 100. So this plane was about to crash, but it suddenly plummeted mid air before reaching the target. I had some intel just few moments before seeing that scene so i was running towards the building to warn everyone, but of course i would be late. So maybe the plane plummeting had to do with my expectations of wanting to warn everyone in the building. Then there was another plane but that plane had a different target and it flew somewhere else.
    I go inside the building to confront some arrogant soldiers whom i suspected that because of their reckless actions got everyone in danger. They've been hanging out in bars and talking with people they probably shouldn't so they most likely gave away info. So i confront the guy who seemed to be the leader of the group, telling him all this and asking him who did he hang with, and they kind of laugh at me. And then this woman of Israeli nationality (not our allies, but neither our enemies because we really weren't at war) comes out of the couch the guy was sitting on (she was sitting in the arm thingies) comes to me, kisses me and says something i couldn't recall but like teasing me. I play along until she stops speaking, making everyone believe i had given in, i even doubted myself until she stopped speaking and i calmly replied something non-sensical if i'd write it down here but in the dream it definitely roasted her (it was something like "apologies to myself (like she and everyone else should be apologizing to me or something) and now i'll take my leave" or something like that, like i've done my thing there, and i had no more business so basically i was telling them bye bitches).

    Went back to sleep and woke up at 6:54.

    I was in one of my old houses, the house in street Las Heras. I was about to take a shower, but i bring a heater because it was cold in the bathroom. However the heater started to lose water, and that made the shower had problems with water too. As i was checking the heater my sister came and offered me to bring me my clothes, and she was very talky. Idk what i tell her, and basically cut the chatter somehow and close the door. Oh, before the bathroom scene i was actually in my room thinking what clothes should i wear. If i wear school clothes then the principal might say something to me for wearing the wrong uniform, and also i might not have it when i need it. But i really wanted to wear the gym clothes. Going back to the bathroom. There was a window like the ones in interrogation rooms, where you can't see the other side. Well, i could see the other side but i think they couldnt see towards my side, or so i hope. On the other side there was Love from "You" series, however even though it was her face, the person was someone else, a friend i know. She was sitting there, like in a cabin where you have to lift the barriers for cars to pass. I was watching her while she sat there but she knew of what was going on and sometimes smirked. Before i entered the shower i entered Discord with my phone. I went to this new server i joined, and i checked the memes channel and the nsfw. I was surprised to see that in the nsfw an actual member was posting nudes of herself. Then as i scroll down the channel there was a lot of porn there from her. At a point it's like i was watching the gifs or whatever they were in holograms, right in front of me. Some things were kind of sexy, but ugh i don't really like porn.

    Then woke up, went back to sleep and woke up again at 10 am.

    I dreamt i was in a social dinner-party. There were a lot of people and the place was spatious. It was like a house, but with many rooms and open rooms in between. It kinda had a Japanese style. So there was this girl that wanted a red rare drink. I wasn't really talking to that girl, but i felt like i knew her. Anyways when she said that, since i knew where to get it, and since i had nothing to do i went to get it. Another guy also was attempting to get it but i knew he'd probably fail. So i take a shortcut, just cross a room to get to the adult's vip room where the owner of the house and the top class people were. I come in but i don't interrupt them, they seemed to be talking around the table. I go to the couches where some friends were and i ask if they knew if there was some of that red drink left. And they say to me that in the fridges. So i go there and grab the last bottle which had a little bit left. I look at it and it reminds me of this red drink i dreamed of years ago, like over 10 years, that i wanted to replicate IRL but never could. I thought to myself, "ha, finally someone clever came out with the formula and now everyone knows it" thinking the drink finally was discovered in real life. I thought about tasting it, but since there was so little of it i decided not to. I went back to the girl and gave her the bottle. Even though there was little left she was overjoyed.

    Then woke up at like 12, cause i went back to sleep, and i think i woke up from a N-REM2 state. Not sure, i would have to experiment more to know for sure.

    March 10th 2020

    by Lichi on 03-10-2020 at 08:28 PM
    Today i had many dreams. I also slept like 10 hours and in the last couple of hours i had a lucid dream (which broke a long dry spell). I'm going to write the lucid dream first and then if i have time i'll write notes on the other dreams.

    I was dreaming that i was in Córdoba (the capital city of my province). I was in the neighborhood i was living in last year, and i was buying some dinner. I asked for cheese and the price was like 5x$5.80 or something (and 5 weren't even the units of cheese, but rather a marketing thing to make it hard to figure out what the actual price was XD). Then i saw some fresh pasta in the counter and i asked for some of that. I grabbed some with my hands to put it in a plastic bag XD and then the guy that was attending me started to mess around with it too, like grabbing a fork and tasting some (even though it had to get cooked). I was totally chill about it, but i said something pointing out that we were being savages about it, lol. Then i went out and started walking towards my house.

    Then i find myself in the avenue. It was by the time the shops closed and the sun was setting. There was a car chasing me and i had like a feeling this happened before and i was ran over by it. The car was going around the block. And this time i started running before "the last time" so i was ahead this time. I started running towards my house and then i turned left when i reached the end of the first block. I thought the car would appear in front of me in a few minutes, but then i realized that i could fly because this was a dream, and so as i was running i started floating and flying, and that way the car would never run over me. Even if the car flew, i imagined it would fly like cars in GTA San Andreas, highly erratic so it was all good. The view was nice too. The road was a dirt road; at my left there were buildings like apartments, and at my right there was just grass but ahead there was like a small plantation of trees and they were pretty tall. I remembered that it would be a good idea to use my senses so i get the dream to last longer. So since i was at about the altitude of a nearby balcony i floated towards it, held to the wall (which felt so real) and climbed it. Btw i was super vigilant while i was flying because in past dreams it happened that sometimes i lost power and started going down, so i was constantly aware if this would happen anytime while i was flying, but everything went smooth (if i went down it would be okay, because what actually 'disturbs' me more of falling is how long the fall is rather than hitting the ground, and i wasn't that high yet). When i stood in the balcony mini wall i noticed there was a lamp post nearby, and i could reach the lamp so i went ahead and touched it. The lamp was cold, even though it was lit. I thought that was funny and it was something more to keep confident that this was a dream. I didn't know what i wanted, but i wanted to do something, and i was getting bored there. So i started flying again, now towards the trees. I almost reached the top of the trees when i thought that i should have a new goal now, so i thought why not the moon (even though deep down i was thinking this might not be a good idea, since it would be a huge step for me). So i changed the direction of where i was flying to (the moon was in my back) and i started heading towards it. I saw it from afar and i thought it would be a long flight, perhaps not even worth it, but i wanted to do it for the challenge rather than being there (i also thought that space would be a problem because i would have to focus not only on flying but also on breathing... and that could be problematic) but i couldn't fly much higher than i was at that moment because i started spiraling down and shortly after i woke up. When i woke up i stayed still and i went back into dreaming shortly after. Like in 1 minute after i was back in a new dream, but i didnt even notice that it was already dreaming, i thought that i was just thinking this. I realized it has been a dream only when i woke up from it. In that dream i was in an abandoned house, with some old members of some fraternity. They wanted to threaten me, and philosophize about something. The one that was talking was a dark wizard, but as far as i was concerned he was as much human being as me so i never felt threatened or fearful of the situation.

    March 3rd 2020

    by Lichi on 03-04-2020 at 05:23 PM
    Last night i took 300mg of Valerian root. Went to sleep at like 2 am and woke up at like 5:30. (I've been watching Breaking Bad and that translated into the dream in a way).
    When i woke up i remembered the dream more clearly, but i didnt write down all the details cause my hand was shaky. The dream felt so real.

    Anyways i dreamt that i was in a parking lot of a shopping or some large building. I was with my dad, my younger sister and there were some other people there. I don't remember what happened, but my dad felt threatened by two guys so he wanted to shoot them before they shoot or extort him. He thought about it for like a minute, walking back and forth in the parking lot around the crowd. I think all that walking and thinking draw attention from these guys, i mean more attention than he already had, so when he went close and pulled a gun the guys also pulled their guns. He shot one of them and he dropped dead, but the other guy shot back right before he was shot, and so my dad was hit in the stomach. The second guy dropped dead too. After that was over, my dad started walking around the parking lot, he was freaking out because he was shot. I went to him to calm him... (i'm thinking i shouldn't have been so gentle because it was an emergency) and gently i stopped him and laid him down. I made him press his wound and i pressed it too. He did that and i knew that he was calmer, and that he was willing to accept that others take care of him. Meanwhile i shouted call an ambulance. The people in the crowd were already on it, and some of them were assisting the other 2 shot people. Apparently they weren't dead, but they were badly wounded. Then i see my dad starts closing his eyes and i try to focus on feeling if he was breathing since i had him on my arms. I couldn't feel anything so i start worrying, but knowing i had to CPR. I don't know how to CPR so i started panicking. While i attempt to CPR as i can, i start screaming for help. My dad kinda opened his eyes again, it's like he came back, but he was still unconscious. A woman came by to help. She was a kinesiologist. She noticed that my CPR worked so she didn't do anything regarding that, but she also noticed that his hip was dislocated, so she adjusted it and said "he must have been in real pain from that". Then she said that an ambulance was coming (i still worried because there were 3 shot people... not just 1) and she left to keep assisting the other 2 people. Oh and my sister was nearby this whole time too. Then i woke up.

    The dream felt so real.. not in the sense of vividness so much but emotionally perhaps, or also on how i would act in a given situation. When my dad flatlined i really thought i was going to lose him and my mind in that moment cleared to give priority and sole focus to this urgency. I value dreams like these, even if you wanna call them nightmares, because they allow you to experience a situation without really affecting the conditions IRL. So IMO you get to live, feel an experience, get to know how you'd act, how you might react, without having the way things are modified IRL. This is just one way dreams can be 'profitable' to life experiences, and the effort put into trying to remember dreams, among other things, is definitely worth it.