Thread: Why does a positive view of the afterlife not seem to prevent deep grief?

As requested - here is a new thread on the topic.
To put it in perspective, I want to quote DreamingGhost, who started to bring up the conundrum in 2008 like this:

Originally Posted by DreamingGhost

Just Wondering
First off let me say if this is not the right place for this. I was unsure where to post this.

I was just wondering why people have a hard time letting go of loved ones or friends when they die. Why do people grieve so heavily?

I ask this question because most people believe in some kind of after life where everything is now all shit and giggles. There is no more pain, no more suffering, just all fluffy clouds and puppy dogs to go around. Ok so in short everything is supposed to make since and be better when you die if there is some sort of an after live. So why grieve the loss of someone you love if you know they are now going to another place?

It has never made any since to me. I have always looked at a grieving person who wanted said loved one back as selfish. Yes I know it is sad you will no longer be able to just pick up the phone and call the person, but shouldn't you be happy they are in theory happy and free of any kind of pain? Why would you wish them to still be full of pain because you can not stand to live with out them?

Oh and just for a little info. I have lost my grandma and aunt that I was fairly close too, but I did not cry I got drunk and gave them a good farewell. I did fell sad for a few days for my mom (it was her mother and sister, and for other reasons I am not willing to say.) But that is it. I look at death in a positive way. Yes we may not know what "Death" is per say, but how can it be something bad when it is natural.

IIMHO Death should not be feared or grieved.

Just a twisted question and outlook lol. Please let you know what you think and why.

D.G.

Here's missroberts, who will hopefully find her way on over:

Originally Posted by missroberts

All sadness and suffering, fear and doubt, is felt from the egoic mind. Detaching from the material, recognising that we are not our body, and nothing belongs to us, and focusing inwardly to the soul can one truly feel.

While I don't quite agree with you, as a staunch atheist - I want to say a warm welcome to DreamViews!
And I highly appreciate it, when people post in philosophy. So did Alric and snoop - so lets get going!

Originally Posted by Alric

Just because you say you believe in a religion doesn't mean you really believe it. I think people almost instinctually know that when a person dies, that they will probably never see them again. So even though they believe a religion they know deep down that the person is gone.

I'll just say, that I've been wondering the exact same thing: Why don't the highly religious overall grief less, statistically?

Edit: Or do they? Easy for me to say - are there data? Now I think of it - I remember having watched an anthropological documentary about certain "Nature Religions", for lack of a better word, who do indeed make parties for the departed, being joyous besides sad for themselves, because of their belief in a happy (only) afterlife. Not so in classical monotheism, though.

Maybe they fear the insecurity of where exactly their loved ones are going to end up in?
Christianity and Islam threaten with hell after all, and who didn't ever...? The criteria are unfathomable.

Or is it mental double book-keeping? Like Neruo and you suggested? I guess it is.

But this (part of the) post of snoop's is interesting as well, putting it into an evolutionary perspective:

Originally Posted by snoop

If you're going to bring up instincts, why not say it's a biological imperative instead of saying that people don't really believe in their religion? In some cases I'm sure it's true but it makes far more logical sense to say that, given the scientific evidence that humans did in fact evolve to become what we are, that those "people" or animals that felt the pain of loss were more likely to try and keep their fellow species alive, thus ensuring survival.

Yes - maybe.
Thing is - does it ever enter their mind, the dissonance? I suppose it often does, esp. with the not so deeply religious.

For the rest of the "ancient" context: http://www.dreamviews.com/philosophy...wondering.html
Puuuh - this is quite work-intense, making a (hopefully) meaningful new thread, all quoting entirely manual...