1000+ ways to get kicked out of walmart

**Erii** · 07-06-2011 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by sloth

I'm not trying to be a drag, but most of these are too extreme and impractical to be funny, I think.

"Blow up the entire store with everyone in it!!" Come on.

I have done things like:
Tried to convince people that they "NEED to purchase this head of lettuce."
I have tried on the women's dresses.
I have taken one of those little rubber bouncy balls, and slammed it into the floor as hard as I possibly could, and watched it fly across the Wal mart. (Here in hillbillyville, it's "THE wal mart").
I have taken photos of other people's groceries.
I have rearranged the price tags.
I have tied all of the shoelaces together.
I sometimes walked with a friend, down the isle, pretending to tell them a story. Just as the two of us are passing by someone, in that precious ONE SECOND where they can hear us, before they pass, I say to my friend, "Your dog has a NICE ass." or "I left those bodies behind the bench." or "I shouldn't have eaten so many glass shards."
At Home Depot, I grabbed a "No Dumping" sign, and placed it on one of the display toilets.

These kinds of things won't actually get you kicked out, of course. But they are fun. Maybe if you did all of these things in one day...

you're my hero

**sloth** · 07-06-2011 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by Wayfaerer

In that case we've pretty much listed everything. No matter what you think of, it can't beat just simply blowing up the store, so there's no reason to continue this thread.

**Wayfaerer** · 07-06-2011 10:43 PM

How do you get kicked out of something you completely destroy? You'd need a little more imagination than that.

**SergSG** · 07-06-2011 11:20 PM

lol yesterday i went to wal mart and got kicked out because i was riding the bikes they have and leaving them all over the store

**Oneironaut Zero** · 07-06-2011 11:29 PM

Punt a football through the ceiling tiles. (Got kicked out of Target that way)

**Solarflare** · 07-06-2011 11:44 PM

Punt a football?

lol

take a baseball bat and bash all the glass

**Oneironaut Zero** · 07-06-2011 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by gameoverlord345

Punt a football?

Through the ceiling tiles. As in, completely shatter them and make them rain down onto the floor. Lol.

**Solarflare** · 07-06-2011 11:55 PM

ooohooooohohooo

i didnt realize punt is a word -.-

i dont watch football

**sloth** · 07-07-2011 01:10 AM

Originally Posted by Wayfaerer

How do you get kicked out of something you completely destroy? You'd need a little more imagination than that.

Kidnap the manager of the Walmart. Blow up the Walmart. Return the manager to the burned remains of the Walmart. Kill his wife, and skin him alive.

There.
You will surely be kicked out of the Walmart. -shrug-

**SergSG** · 07-07-2011 02:34 AM

The thread is about getting kicked out of wal mart not trying to get kicked into jail

**Oneironaut Zero** · 07-07-2011 03:13 AM

Originally Posted by sloth

Kidnap the manager of the Walmart. Blow up the Walmart. Return the manager to the burned remains of the Walmart. Kill his wife, and skin him alive.

There.
You will surely be kicked out of the Walmart. -shrug-

By definition, you can't get kicked out of a place that you've blown up...seeing as how there is no longer an 'inside.'

**Supernova** · 07-07-2011 04:03 AM

Hey look, Wal-Mart list 2.0

Stick Shepard Fairey stickers everywhere.

A while ago, one of my friends was in a Wal-Mart, and he punted a soccer ball straight up in the air...except it didn't go straight up...and it hit a light...and it fell off the ceiling

Almost hit someone too.

Oh, also, break the mirror

Also, me and a friend picked up another friend and put him in one of those giant trash cans and started wheeling it out...when then left it by a walmart guard and scurried away conspicuously.

**dakotahnok** · 07-07-2011 05:03 AM

Have sex.

Have a three some.

Have a foursome.

Have an orgy.

Bring your dog inside,

Lick people's children.

Go to the 5 dollar movie bin and sell them to passing shoppers for a buck each, keeping the cash.

Be black and walk out with your hands in your pockets.

Be a grown man and ride all there children rides.

Act like your are buying 100 eggs and "accidentally" drop them.

Act like your having a seizure and then when everyone is gathered around you get up and be like "what are your starring at".

Buy a bunch of eggs and then go outside and egg the place.

Walk into walmart with a VCR and tell everyone it's a bomb.

Go to the part of the store were they have the tvs and play broke back mountain.

Go up to where they give free samples and take as much as you can.

**Jeff777** · 07-07-2011 05:16 AM

Originally Posted by gameoverlord345

WELL TELL US HOW!!!!!l

Solicitation.

**sloth** · 07-07-2011 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by SergSG

The thread is about getting kicked out of wal mart not trying to get kicked into jail

Oh, is it really?

Originally Posted by Seroquel

#1. Run down the isles, naked, screaming racial slurs at the top of your lungs (at every opportunity) for as long as you can, before getting caught.

Originally Posted by anderj101

2. Walk in wearing only a shirt and shoes. If questioned, state that the sign on the door mentions nothing of pants.

Originally Posted by ooflendoodle

4. Run in with Nerf dart-guns then if someone laughs stab them, rinse and repeat.

Originally Posted by Burke

5. Hack the T.V. Displays to all show porn

6. jack off to said porn while still in the store

Originally Posted by gameoverlord345

8. masturbate
9: masturbate someone else
10: rape someone
11. jump up and down nude saying gubgubgugbgugbgugbgugbgugb
13. lick the cashier
14. lick the cashiers dick
15. lick the cashiers vagina
18. lick the cashiers dick while he is leaving the store
17. punch a cereal box then say ima not pay for that

Originally Posted by dacher2

19. Eat all their candy say you won't pay for it. When they ask why you say "BECAUSE YOU JERKS MADE ME FAT!"

Originally Posted by dacher2

20. Paint the entire store to look like a dream setting of a dream you've had.
21. pee on everything in the meat section, then throw it at people.
22.Find something that has to be assembled in the store rip open the box assemble it and use it until arrested.
23. when you hear one of the babies in wal-mart crying and the mother does nothing go over and spank the baby with a brick, then pour drain washer down it's throat.

Originally Posted by dacher2

25.find a pregnant person in wal-mart and abort there child by using hungry hungry hippos
26. If your a dude walk up to another dude in walmart,ask hims his name, and then SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN you have the herps and that *insert name here* should get checked out, and that you are carrying his child.
27. learn to speak like Eric Cartman then play kick the baby in walmart,with a real baby!
28.find every machine in walmart that records and record your voice saying " you are fat, ugly and stupid, you will never be loved. HAHAHA" then set it to play over and over forever then brag about doing it to the walmart employees
29. find someone eating in walmart take their food put the whole thing in your mouth chew it up then spit it into their face.
30. paint your butt on the front door, or take pictures of it and put it on the door.

Originally Posted by gameoverlord345

32: punch someone in the face
33: lick the fruit there
33: beat someone up
34. lick the cashier
35. punch the cashier
36. shoot the cashier
37. take a rope and whip the cashier
38. walk in there wearing nothing but a tie
39. walk in there with your dragon pet charlie and kill everyone with it

Originally Posted by dakotahnok

42 smoke a joint.

Originally Posted by dakotahnok

43 commit suicide.

Originally Posted by SergSG

45.Shoplift something, then come back the next day and try to exchange it at the customer service desk

Originally Posted by gameoverlord345

Punt a football?

lol

take a baseball bat and bash all the glass

Originally Posted by dakotahnok

Have sex.
Have a three some.
Have a foursome.
Have an orgy.
Lick people's children.
Go to the 5 dollar movie bin and sell them to passing shoppers for a buck each, keeping the cash.
Buy a bunch of eggs and then go outside and egg the place.
Walk into walmart with a VCR and tell everyone it's a bomb.

That is my point, if anyone will listen.
It's just not creative listing off things that you aren't supposed to do.
I could just list off 58 different ways to KILL A GUY, but that's not creative or funny. What is CREATIVE is thinking of things that one could actually get away with, without getting arrested. I would love to actually do some of these things, but MOST of the things people have listed just involve attacking people.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

By definition, you can't get kicked out of a place that you've blown up...seeing as how there is no longer an 'inside.'

The POINT I was making still stands.

**dakotahnok** · 07-07-2011 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by sloth

Oh, is it really?

That is my point, if anyone will listen.
It's just not creative listing off things that you aren't supposed to do.
I could just list off 58 different ways to KILL A GUY, but that's not creative or funny. What is CREATIVE is thinking of things that one could actually get away with, without getting arrested. I would love to actually do some of these things, but MOST of the things people have listed just involve attacking people.

The POINT I was making still stands.

**Oneironautic** · 07-07-2011 09:34 PM

Get an enourmous shopping trolly of items, take to the cashout and say you will only buy with a written contract saying none of the ingredients of the goods comes from countries begining with H. If they look through your entire bag and validate every single item, when they are ready for payment calmly state, "I only have 20p, you will have to put every thing back"

**Puffin** · 07-07-2011 09:41 PM

Attempt to drown in the floor model kiddy pool.
Walk around with undergarments stacked on your head, preferably panties.

**sloth** · 07-07-2011 10:15 PM

Now those are good suggestions.

**RichardPena98** · 02-10-2014 09:34 AM

Curse as loud as you freaking can over the loudspeaker intercom thing

**♥Mark** · 02-10-2014 03:26 PM

Bump a really old topic.

**ParadoxOwl** · 02-10-2014 03:59 PM

Make a "snow" man made of items found around the store.

**DreamyBear** · 02-10-2014 05:33 PM

**roberto** · 09-18-2014 11:45 PM

Are we talking about a dream supermarket store?

I would put one gallon of milk on one corner of the store, and a gallon of chocolate milk on the other, and make them pour each other's milk into each other's container, one drop at a time. Each drop would take 3 hours to reach it's goal, and they would all travel separated by 1 meter. If they encounter an obstacle, they will accelerate around it to the right until they pick up the trail again.

I would get thrown out because once implemented, this system cannot be removed until it's completion.