Thread: What happened? Post Your WILD Attempts, Good or Bad, Here

I had the idea of using the SSILD approach I read about as a setup for a WILD attempt. So yesterday afternoon, I set the recliner to nap position and went for it. Cycled maybe a dozen times through the SSILD exercises with nothing happening. Then I'm interrupted when my dog starts going bonkers, barking at the front door. I assume it's the UPS guy, so I get up and go to the door. I open the door to find a huge black bear eating from a bowl of dog food on the porch. The bear looks at me and growls. I think, "oh shite"! The bear growls fiercely and lunges at me... at which time I wake up in the recliner. Even now, recalling that growl sends shivers up my spine.

The guy posting about SSILD did warn that FAs are common with the approach, but I was still taken by surprise.

I'm still interested in seeing how those exercises work out when done during "hold still and wait." Will write about it if anything significant happens.

^^ Wow, that bear must have been something... I've got hairs standing up just reading about it! Next time, though, maybe you'll remain calm enough to recognize him as a big potentially cuddly DC, now that you've got this experience in your memory arsenal.

I look forward to hearing if anything significant happens when integrating those exercises with "classic" WILD; good luck!

I´ve been revisiting "Doing The Dive":

So that’s it then. We've got it all in our heads and under our metaphysical belts: mental prep, timing, mantra, general attitude for success … Wait. What is missing here? There must be something else … Oh yeah, the whole “lie down, hold still, and wait (LDHSW)” portion of our journey!

I gave this bit a lot of thought (I swear!), and finally decided that I would leave specific front-end process of relaxing and beginning to fall asleep up to you. Seriously. You are each in charge of picking the LDHSW that best suits your interests, abilities, and nature.

No, I’m not copping out; at least I’m pretty sure I’m not! Rather, I am acknowledging that somewhere in the eighteen bazillion tutorials and advisory threads out there waits the process that best suits your interests, physical status, and ability. I’d wager that you all have sampled or reviewed much of this stuff; hell, you likely know more about LDHSW techniques than I do! In truth, if you possess the tools of this course, any of the LDHSW methods will work just fine. In other words, the LDHSW portion of the WILD journey is by far the least important, yet, oddly, the most extensively covered.

If you possess a strong sense of self-awareness, you know when you’re going to WILD, and you’ve got a mantra to repeat during the attempt, any or all of the popular methods for WILD will work for you, simply because the LDHSW portion of WILD just doesn’t matter that much. So pick whatever you want to do for this bit -- if you have the rest of the tools in your belt, then it’ll be a snap! Of course, if it is not, bring it up on the Q&A thread, and we will consider some popular LDHSW methods…

So now we’ve got everything. We’re ready. What’s next? Well, doing it ought to be next, right? But there might be a chance that you are still not feeling too terribly confident, or have a feeling, based on past experience, that you are in for an hour or so of just lying there with nothing happening at all. This would not be unusual, but do what you can to temper that insecurity with the knowledge and awareness you’ve accumulated these last few weeks.

This is important, because if you expect failure to happen then it will -- in truth I cannot teach or even advise you clear of that roadblock. Confidence is in your hands: you must go into WILD with a positive mindset, or else nothing will work for you, regardless of the quality of your individual tools. ...

..
So to summarize the summary, here are the steps to take for WILD:

1. Determine the best time for your WILD, “schedule” that time, and spend a day or so looking forward to it.

2. On the night before your dive, relax, don’t drink or do drugs, and simply, quietly, irrevocably set your mind, intent, and expectations on the mission of staying awake -- holding onto your self-awareness -- while you go to sleep….this bit is important; don’t take it for granted!

3. After several hours’ sleep (you should already have determined how many), wake up; hopefully you did so naturally, but a minimally intrusive alarm or helpful spouse or family member is acceptable if unavoidable. Remain awake for less than an hour, careful to fill your mind only with dreamy thoughts -- no TV, phones, or internet! Go back to bed.

4. Do your chosen version of LDHSW, with the inclusion of your mantra -- carefully, yet without effort, repeat your mantra with every breath. Let it support you, guide you or at least give your wandering mind something to cling to while you wait for, and then endure, the passage to sleep and dream. Carefully maintain your waking awareness, your sense of self, and remember, at all times, who you are and what you are doing.

5. Mind the noise! Don’t let SP matter, skip the vibrations et al, and keep HI from turning your natural progression to sleep into some ersatz mystical experience. Note it all, and use some of it (HI in particular) to form your dream if you must (see step #6), but don’t be taken by the “noise,” it does not deserve you!

6. Form the dream. With awareness in place and the difficult bits of falling asleep behind you, allow yourself to enter the dreaming, and let the fun begin. Be sure to have a dream on tap, because your dreaming mind might not be ready for you, and might just haphazardly deposit you into your room! Form that dream from your own invented schemas, or use HI to “work” images into a particular dreamscape … you know the drill!

7. Dream; and do so with the same waking awareness that you had before you lay down.

So - now I found out actually, why I felt rather innocent with getting SSILD into this thread - I chalked it up under "choose your LDHSW at your leisure - it does not matter".
The thing, I did forget back then, was the importance you lay upon the mantra being included - as language keeping up the waking consciousness.
And after a bit of experimentation - I think, this might indeed be missing in the SSILD for me - except I might have missed a FA by not going to open the door to an UPS-bear..
Great success, Nailler!
But rather I feel, this without mantra-tech makes it too easy for me to fall asleep - or at least think, I did.
So - mantras once more.
Especially I have a bit of a problem with spending too much supposedly LD-connected time on here and happily chatting away - tuning out real-life-awareness.
Well, well, well..
All not so easy - to find out, how I "tick" in that department.

Edit: I found a way to produce white noise - jipee - my audio cable to the computer has a fault - so if I leave the computer in hibernating mode - the cable connected and the amplifier on - there is my white noise!!
This used to nerve me - will try to use it.
I think, I heard Ophelia saying on the podcast yesterday, that you do that - and she too - and I remember you mentioning it yourself as well.

By the way - where are your pictures, Sageous??
I might be able to help you with equipping the upper thread in my sig with something to actually look at!!
You Sageous-disciples - go click and lure him out from behind the oven a bit!!

^^ Mantras it is, then -- good decision! Also, though the work you do on this site is amazing, it probably wouldn't hurt to find a way to get yourself some brief moments of quiet time for observation of things that don't come in pixels.

Originally Posted by StephL

I found a way to produce white noise - jipee - my audio cable to the computer has a fault - so if I leave the computer in hibernating mode - the cable connected and the amplifier on - there is my white noise!! This used to nerve me - will try to use it. I think, I heard Ophelia saying on the podcast yesterday, that you do that - and she too - and I remember you mentioning it yourself as well.

Yes, for a while I tuned my radio to the space between stations, and used the static as white noise; it worked pretty well. I did finally buy a white noise machine, which works much better, thanks to consistent sound without any sudden static crackling.

By the way - where are your pictures, Sageous??

They're coming, I promise! I quickly discovered that I am fully incapable of loading them here, so I've got to enlist my geek wife to help out, and we've had trouble this week finding some simultaneous time to do the work. But maybe today or Saturday. Thanks for being patient!

Well - the easiest way is to go on your website - right-click on an image - it says among other things copy image url - you left-click this.

Then you go into a posting field on here and click on the little picture in the symbols row above - between the globe and the movie symbol.

When you click it - you can choose - upload from your computer - not so good, maybe, because they come out small as attachments.

So you choose from url - then there is a field to paste the url.

But you got to un-check that little box under the field - before hitting return - and having done with it.

Maybe this could help..?
But of course no hectic - say cheers to her from another geekish being..
And thanks for the link..



Edit: If you wanted to use pictures, which are only on your computer, and not on the net already -
if you want to post those, so that they show up in big on the forum, the following would it be practical:

You could open a cost free account on photobucket.com - there are other sites as well, but I know only pb.
I have one, mainly because I post my (very rare..) 180s and also lesser achievements on a darts-forum - many, many darters have - and show off their toys etc..

You can upload directly there, and then there is a possibility to click copy img code.
This does the work of the image symbol for you - you just click on it in pb and then paste in here.



Oh - and thank you for the amazement!

Originally Posted by StephL

Well - the easiest way is to go on your website - right-click on an image - it says among other things copy image url - you left-click this.

Then you go into a posting field on here and click on the little picture in the symbols row above - between the globe and the movie symbol.

When you click it - you can choose - upload from your computer - not so good, maybe, because they come out small as attachments.

So you choose from url - then there is a field to paste the url.

But you got to un-check that little box under the field - before hitting return - and having done with it.

You know, I didn't even know that! I'm an unintentional Luddite, I think. Aside from your excellent advice, though, I was looking to maybe share a couple of pieces that are not on the site, just to give you something new to look at.

Oh, wait, you just read my mind:

Edit: If you wanted to use pictures, which are only on your computer, and not on the net already -
if you want to post those, so that they show up in big on the forum, the following would it be practical:

You could open a cost free account on photobucket.com - there are other sites as well, but I know only pb.
I have one, mainly because I post my (very rare..) 180s and also lesser achievements on a darts-forum - many, many darters have - and show off their toys etc..You can upload directly there, and then there is a possibility to click copy img code. This does the work of the image symbol for you - you just click on it in pb and then paste in here.

Thanks again for the advice, but again, my wife has a soundly-based problem with me downloading programs, and I'm pretty sure she already has a full arsenal of such things stashed in this machine already. So I should be okay... once we get to sit down!

Hehe - I know, what you mean - my husband hates it, when I fool about - and he has to do a rescue-mission..
And it is dangerous - whenever something asks you, if you want to allow something to change something on your computer - call for your wife!
Esp. when it is some sort of media-player..
Meanwhile I have hopefully learned some lessons for myself..

Sageous:

What do you think about "Forced Falling Asleep", which is a technique where you try to quickly fall asleep and let go of consciousness, with the intention of immediately taking it back after about 10 seconds have passed? It's used to make yourself fall asleep faster.

I find during WILD attempts that I often reach a stage of clarity and acute awareness where sleep seems very far off. The awareness seems unshakable, like in the middle of a meditation session. I start interrupting my mantra with quick bouts of FFA in order to try to induce sleep, which tends to bring on the "noise."

I feel like maintaining awareness is not a problem for me, but it seems to coincide with staying firmly awake.

Do you have any opinions on this?

^^ I suppose I could summon an opinion about this, Bluremi!

In my opinion, I think that FFA's (I didn't know it had become an acronym-worthy term, BTW) are pretty much only possible with the help of powerful anesthesia or perhaps a good crack with a lead pipe -- neither of which I'd recommend you ever do to yourself. We are simply not wired to force ourselves to fall asleep.

I suppose an adept at meditation, or perhaps someone with incredibly strong willpower might be able to force an unnaturally speefy drop into sleep, but we mere mortals must live with at least a short wait as our minds and bodies work their ways into sleep mode. Narcoleptics might have success at FFA as well, though it would stem more from timing than technique, and I wouldn't wish narcolepsy on anyone (it is not a fair trade). Also, doing something extreme like keeping yourself awake for more than a day or two won't help either, because that kind of exhaustion is not terribly conducive to LD'ing. Indeed, I would see attempts to force yourself to fall asleep backfiring regularly, if only because you will be using more consciousness (focus) in order to force yourself to let go of consciousness.

So, in my opinion, you should probably question the sense or value of this technique.

But wait, there's more:

Let's say, however, that I'm totally wrong, and there is a way for us to let our consciousnesses go and force ourselves to sleep quickly and at will -- or perhaps I misunderstood you, and you were talking about some other sort of release of consciousness. Let's say FFA's are not a problem: Then what?

If we have allowed a full release of our self-awareness in the name of falling asleep, doesn't that mean we're asleep, period? Once you've started your sleep cycle, there is no internal way that I know of to bring consciousness back, barring a DILD later in the night -- which seems more than possible, given the mental prep you would have to put into this exercise. Once you're out, you're out; there is no mechanism I know of to return your self-awareness to a sleeping mind 10 seconds later, regardless of intention. This is especially true if you do a FFA right before an NREM period, where mundane concepts like "10 seconds" simply do not exist. I personally know of no way back.

And yes, I can see how trying a FFA in the middle of a WILD might bring on the noise, as you confuse your settling mind with new stimulus and focus that run at odds with what you've been doing so far (which is already at odds with the normal falling to sleep routine). After all wouldn't you would be trying to fall asleep while you are trying to stay awake while you are falling asleep? It's confusing just to write it down!

I suggest, Bluremi, that you take this technique with a grain of salt. It doesn't hurt to try it, of course, since we learn something from all these things. But at the same time you might try putting a little more focus on combining your strong awareness skills with some patience, and perhaps discover a way to get that awareness to coincide with your dreams as well.

[EDIT] Given that this is really stuff for the Q&A thread, I've sent copies of these two posts there; if you have any more questions about this -- or anything else -- I hope you will post them there.

Is sleep paralysis required for WILD? I have never experienced it before so if I try to WILD- will I experience it?

^^ Welcome to DreamViews, xEddy!

The simple, and I believe correct, answer to your question is "No."

Sleep paralysis is not required for WILD. Period.

SP isn't even a part of WILD; indeed, the SP that is so popularly referenced on these forums isn't even actually sleep paralysis.... Wait a second. Before I spend another paragraph briefly -- and badly, and with likely too much derision about the great volume of misinformation circulating about this popular topic -- describing SP, I suggest you take some time and read through Mzzkc's excellent Sleep Paralysis Demystified thread (I think I made a few posts there as well); it will be worth your effort. [Edit: Here is another excellent thread on SP and WILD, this time started by Sivason but essentially expressing DV's take on the subject (I'm in that one, too): Sleep Paralysis Explained]

[Also, and just to keep things organized: If you have any more questions, I'd appreciate it if you would post them on this forum's Q&A Thread thread -- thanks!]

Can i use a fan while trying to LDHSW because it get uncompfortable when I dont have a fan to cool me down when i go to sleep. I will be attempting my first wild tonight if you respond by the time i go to bed. =)

A question:

Sageous,

In the hour or so before I normally wake up, I often have extremely vivid dreams, in which I'm fully aware that I'm dreaming. However, they tend to be like slide shows or movies, which I'm watching on a screen... not 3d... no sound. I can't seem to get into these dream scenes or do anything other than watch them play out. Is this a known phenomenon?

Thanks,
Niall

Originally Posted by Jax

Can i use a fan while trying to LDHSW because it get uncompfortable when I dont have a fan to cool me down when i go to sleep. I will be attempting my first wild tonight if you respond by the time i go to bed. =)

Of course you can use a fan; I use one all the time, specifically to generate a little white noise to facilitate my WILDs.

Originally Posted by Nailler

In the hour or so before I normally wake up, I often have extremely vivid dreams, in which I'm fully aware that I'm dreaming. However, they tend to be like slide shows or movies, which I'm watching on a screen... not 3d... no sound. I can't seem to get into these dream scenes or do anything other than watch them play out. Is this a known phenomenon?

Not that I know of... but what does "known" even mean in the world of lucid dreaming, anyway?

It sounds to me like might be in the process of waking up, perhaps very close to consciousness, but your dreaming mind is still delivering product. So there you are, pretty much awake, but you are still catching some incomplete dream fragments in a manner that is effectively out of reach because your body is already well along on the waking-up process... sort of like you're riding the wake of your dream-ship, which you can still clearly see, but of which you are no longer a passenger.

I get something like this quite often, though I tend to already be awake (full awareness of my body and its environs), and the imagery, though less vivid, also includes sound.

In case it's not known, maybe we should name it... perhaps Post Lucid Objectively Witnessed Dream (PLOWD)?


[Once more: Just to keep things organized: If you have any more questions, I'd appreciate it if you would post them on this forum's Q&A thread -- thanks!]

I wanted to come to this thread to thank Sageous, and to reccomend everyone to follow his advice!

A few months ago, I was unknown and knew nothing about WILD'ing, all I knew was that I wanted to do it, a lot. So, I came here, and I spoke to Sageous, he helped me out, and got me through the problems that i faced whilst trying to WILD, He basicly set the foundation for my WILD Future (Am I the only one that found that funny?) And because of him I can now WILD almost whenever I want, or, more to the point, when my mind wants.


TL;DR - Listen to Sageous, he will guide you in the right direction.

A failed WILD attempt.

"The other WILD", DEILD, was so easy for me to learn that I assumed moving on to straight WILD would be just as easy. That hasn't been the case, but I think I might have figured it out.

Last night, after a WBTB, a two hour WILD attempt ended with the realization that I had been in a FA for most of that time. Then a choir showed up, and got through a few bars of HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING before disappearing and leaving me fully awake in bed.

Looking over the experience, I came to the conclusion that because I had my attention on really working at being successful with WILD, that's what I got... a dream about "really working at being successful with WILD." It's like the dream mechanism is some kind of eejit. What ever we think, expect or decide, it glums a hold of and produces without the faintest bit of reasoning.

I think what's making WILD hard for me is that it's too easy... if that makes any sense. I rarely get any "noise" to speak of, and I fail to spot the point where I fall into an FA. Even though weird stuff happens, I don't notice because not having twigged on the FA, I'm not in a lucid state.

I'm hoping last night's learning experience will do me some good.

Niall

Originally Posted by Nailler

Looking over the experience, I came to the conclusion that because I had my attention on really working at being successful with WILD, that's what I got... a dream about "really working at being successful with WILD." It's like the dream mechanism is some kind of eejit. What ever we think, expect or decide, it glums a hold of and produces without the faintest bit of reasoning.

Kind of sucks, doesn't it? Unfortunately, nature seems to have its rules, and your dreaming mind was simply following firmly established rule of fulfilling your expectations... the mechanism is actually pretty clever, even if it is running against your wishes to be awake while asleep. And let's all hope that it's doing that running by accident, and that there isn't some intentional force out there meant to curb your lucidity!

I think what's making WILD hard for me is that it's too easy... if that makes any sense. I rarely get any "noise" to speak of, and I fail to spot the point where I fall into an FA. Even though weird stuff happens, I don't notice because not having twigged on the FA, I'm not in a lucid state.

That makes plenty of sense. But don't worry: with experience you'll start recognizing those FA's when they're occurring, and learn to spark a DILD from them as if on cue...

I'm hoping last night's learning experience will do me some good.

I have a feeling it already has!

Next time!

Hi,

I had an unsuccessful WILD attempt last night. I used the WBTB and then prepared to WILD. All that happened was I went into what I think was a brief or light sleep paralysis where I got a lot of muscle twitching and found myself tensing all my muscles (almost involuntarily), especially in the neck area. No matter how much I tried to relax and visualize a dream scene, the muscle tension just seemed to increase (sometimes turning into mild shuddering) and eventually the sensations/SP just faded away and nothing happened. I found it very difficult to get back to sleep normally. This usually happens whenever I attempt a WILD. I am very determined to WILD but I wonder what the problem could be? Maybe I’m trying too hard to ‘induce’ it and can’t relax? Or am I doing something else wrong?

Thanks a lot in advance.

Well - last night was very, very fruitful for me - and it started out with WBTB after 7 h of sleep and a natural awakening.
Then WILD a la Sageous.
There was a point, when a weird slipping motion came about - as if slipping down, but not moving - and I had a visual, too - several lights - like light-bulbs on the back of my eyelids - maybe bit behind.

That probably has startled me awake then - maybe even a FA - could be - because I lay down once more to go on trying - and from there I sort of woke up once more - damn - I only now realize while writing - could really be..
I will dare to check it next time, when I think, I am still awake - just test it, when anything weird at all seems to happen.

Whatever - these activities have sparked the by far longest and most intense LD since joining here!!
And gathered a fat 30.5 points for the competition from that night..
So - thank you - to keep getting at it your way has brought me far - if not jet to a classical WILD - so anyway very far!

Purple Patch!! My Longest LD Since Joining Here - Maybe Longest Ever! - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

That's great, Steph; nice work! And remember, it doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you do!

Successful WILD last night, but then, after a few minutes, I lost lucidity and was in an uncomfortable dream where I was lost and running out of gas at a time when I was supposed to be meeting my parents. I became aware it was a dream and lucid again. Then a short time later I lost that lucidity, only to get it back a short while later when it again became obvious to me that I was in a dream. This happened four or five times.

Each time I became lucid, I tried to change the course of the dream, but it seemed like I didn't have enough willpower, or else there was something about the plot of the dream that kept pulling me into it. Hmmm.

^^ Well that sort of sucks, huh? But only sort of, because at least you got multiple chances to try to get lucid, to control the dream, to wonder about your lack of willpower (also, probably, your lack of self-awareness), and to notice that sometimes the dream just isn't interested in your staying lucid (that last bit is just conjecture of course, but, man, sometimes you just have to wonder!). Pass or fail, at least you were there for the effort. Oh, and be careful not to blame these results on WILD itself, as it might not have been a major factor.

Chalk it up to experience, remember it happened, and maybe next time you'll have a stronger hand in the dream thanks to that memory...

I posted this about last night's WILD attempt in the general forum, but I wanted to get any advice you might have, Sageous.
----------------------

The Haunted Room at Grandpa's House

I was able to learn DEILD rather quickly. I assumed learning WILD would be just as easy, and have been struggling with it for a few weeks... several rather unpleasant experiences, feeling threatened and uncomfortable no matter what else was going on in the dream.

Then last night, after a WILD attempt, the strangest thing happened. I woke up flooded with memories of practicing WILD as a youngster, maybe 6 or 7 years of age. At the time WILDing just seemed like the thing to do, and it was easy for me. Curiously until last night I had forgotten all about that part of my childhood other than that I always thought of that bedroom as "the haunted room at Grandpa's."

Here's what I remembered after last night's WILD.
Sleeping over at Grandpa's one night I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to dream... I didn't realize I always dreamed, because for the most part, I only remembered WILDS. That night, my WILD turned into a nightmare in which I was being chased by an incredibly powerful evil spirit, and I couldn't wake myself up. It caused me to feel a physical sensation of pure terror. The closer it got to me, the worse the sensation.

I ran through the house and locked myself in the upstairs bathroom, but it was only seconds before this force or whatever it was broke down the door, in desperation I smashed the window and jumped out, the idea being I would fly away, and it would never catch me. But I couldn't fly, and I went crashing to the ground... at which time I woke up in bed shaking and in a cold sweat.

A few weeks later, I decided it had been just a nightmare and gave dreaming in my own room a try. That ended in an even worse experience with IT and ended my childhood WILDING career for good.

So much for the past.

I decided that tonight I'm going to DEILD to enter a dream state, and then I'm going to find IT, whatever it is, and deal with it.

I feel a little stupid about this, that at my age this IT still scares me, but advice from people who have dealt with similar situations would be appreciated.

On the plus side, this whole affair has given me the inspiration for a short story.

Niall

Originally Posted by Nailler

I posted this about last night's WILD attempt in the general forum, but I wanted to get any advice you might have, Sageous.
----------------------

The Haunted Room at Grandpa's House

I was able to learn DEILD rather quickly. I assumed learning WILD would be just as easy, and have been struggling with it for a few weeks... several rather unpleasant experiences, feeling threatened and uncomfortable no matter what else was going on in the dream.

Then last night, after a WILD attempt, the strangest thing happened. I woke up flooded with memories of practicing WILD as a youngster, maybe 6 or 7 years of age. At the time WILDing just seemed like the thing to do, and it was easy for me. Curiously until last night I had forgotten all about that part of my childhood other than that I always thought of that bedroom as "the haunted room at Grandpa's."

Okay; before we begin: you were doing WILD's when you were six? That is amazing on several levels, and a true compliment to your clearly preternatural sense of self-awareness! Very cool!

Here's what I remembered after last night's WILD.
Sleeping over at Grandpa's one night I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to dream... I didn't realize I always dreamed, because for the most part, I only remembered WILDS. That night, my WILD turned into a nightmare in which I was being chased by an incredibly powerful evil spirit, and I couldn't wake myself up. It caused me to feel a physical sensation of pure terror. The closer it got to me, the worse the sensation.

I ran through the house and locked myself in the upstairs bathroom, but it was only seconds before this force or whatever it was broke down the door, in desperation I smashed the window and jumped out, the idea being I would fly away, and it would never catch me. But I couldn't fly, and I went crashing to the ground... at which time I woke up in bed shaking and in a cold sweat.

A few weeks later, I decided it had been just a nightmare and gave dreaming in my own room a try. That ended in an even worse experience with IT and ended my childhood WILDING career for good.

First, that is a curious memory to have indeed. It might just be that you happened to trip over a memory, and it surged for no particular reason to the surface. That is not an uncommon event. That said:

Given the unusual case of a young child doing WILDs, I'm not sure what to make of this. I would almost say that this entire dream was a simple message generated by your dreaming mind to tell you that it isn't time to be doing this stuff yet (and the message took, apparently). The messenger was particularly effective, I think -- though that evil spirit might just have been a projection of your self; and the scarier this image, the better, because the message was one of caution, but I'll bet that spirit was very much a part of you, and perhaps well-intentioned.

I'm not sure that made sense, but suffice it to say that I have a feeling your own unconscious was rising up in protest to doing WILD's at an age that dramatically predates the maturity and cognitive development necessary to gather and sustain self-awareness required to WILD (that was a complement, BTW; I was very impressed!).

Bottom line is I'm amazed and baffled, so I guess I got nothing...

I decided that tonight I'm going to DEILD to enter a dream state, and then I'm going to find IT, whatever it is, and deal with it.

Interesting plan -- but don't be surprised if IT turns out to be unreachable, because your unconscious, in spite of that accidental memory, discarded the "spirit" that harassed you years ago... its job was done.

I feel a little stupid about this, that at my age this IT still scares me, but advice from people who have dealt with similar situations would be appreciated.

Never feel stupid about the primordial stuff, as there is nothing you can do about it. Just face it down or forget about it. My vote is for the latter, in this case, because I think this is behind you now, and that memory was a fluke.

On the plus side, this whole affair has given me the inspiration for a short story.

Excellent! Just be sure to write it down quickly, before the emotion settles back into your past.

Thanks for sharing, Nailler, and be assured that everything I said here could be totally wrong.