Thread: Ask me about being Transgender

Originally Posted by GavinGill

If not before, after pictures would be much appreciated.

/anticipation

Hehehe I'll think about it. I go in for SRS in 1 year and 7 months.

Originally Posted by Maria92

Yeah they're everywhere. They're more amusing than anything. I heard him shout out "Don't follow the crowd! Turn to Jesus!" hurr durr. It's fun when some people all come together and sing peaceful songs to him. He gets all worked up when they start singing "Jesus loves us." So damn funny.

Haha, that is amazing! I wish people would do that where I'm at.

This is a late addition to this thread but I look forward to hearing about how things work out.

I've walked down this road. It's the path less taken.

I know how you feel, I to would make a pretty girl, but uhh that aside, congrats and I wish you the best.

You probably don't read this anymore, but I'm glad you found your way, and that your environment has been so supportive! I can't even imagine what you must have gone through all these years. You have my full respect And yeah, nevermind the narrowminded idiots

I want to ask a question about transgender!!!

Why does there seem to be more males changing to females than females changing to males physically?

I found this: Transgender & Transsexual Issues 101: Are there more trans women than trans men? Part one - National Transgender & Transsexual Issues | Examiner.com

I included links that were imbedded in the story.

Transgender & Transsexual Issues 101: Are there more trans women than trans men? Part one

By: Matt Kailey


Frequently asked question: Why do we often see transsexual women (born male, transitioned to female) in the media and in public life, but we rarely see transsexual men (born female, transitioned to male)? Are there more trans women than trans men?

It would appear that way, but the answer is much more complex than appearances.

The American Psychological Association (APA) says, “Current estimates of the prevalence of transsexualism are about 1 in 10,000 for biological males [people identified as male at birth] and 1 in 30,000 for biological females [people identified as female at birth].” These are updated numbers, but Professor Lynn Conway has far higher estimates.

One of the problems with statistically identifying transsexual people — both women and men — is that those statistics are reported by professionals in the mental health and medical fields (therapists, physicians, and surgeons) who work with transsexual people and facilitate transition. There is no other way to gather these statistics. The census takers certainly don’t ask.

So those people who are “counted” are those who have sought out therapeutic and medical interventions from professionals who report on such things.

While both the numbers of trans women and trans men are likely underestimated, there are several reasons why trans men might be even more likely to be statistically underrepresented.

1. Because it is far more acceptable in the United States for females to dress in men’s clothing and adopt traditionally “male” or “masculine” interests, behaviors, and even names, than vice versa, some people who are born female with a male gender identity may be able to live as men or with a masculine gender presentation without therapeutic or medical intervention more easily than those who are born male with a female gender identity.

2. Because of gender and sex inequalities in the U.S. economic system, people who are born female are overrepresented in lower-paying jobs, traditionally “female” jobs are not valued economically, and, in most occupations, women, in general, still make less than men. Therefore, many of those born female with a male gender identity may lack the financial resources necessary to secure the therapeutic and medical interventions they require. (This is not to say that trans women necessarily have money. Many trans people — both men and women — lack financial resources due to employment laws that do not protect us from being fired or denied employment based on our trans status. And when trans women transition, they lose the "male status" that is associated with higher wages.)

3. Female-to-male genital surgery is far more expensive and extensive than male-to-female genital surgery, so even those trans men who do have financial resources might not have enough to undergo this type of surgery and be “counted” in surgical statistics.

These are some of the reason why trans men might be statistically underrepresented. In part two, we will talk about visibility in society

Originally Posted by melanieb

2. Because of gender and sex inequalities in the U.S. economic system, people who are born female are overrepresented in lower-paying jobs, traditionally “female” jobs are not valued economically, and, in most occupations, women, in general, still make less than men. Therefore, many of those born female with a male gender identity may lack the financial resources necessary to secure the therapeutic and medical interventions they require. (This is not to say that trans women necessarily have money. Many trans people — both men and women — lack financial resources due to employment laws that do not protect us from being fired or denied employment based on our trans status. And when trans women transition, they lose the "male status" that is associated with higher wages.)

If this were true, would it not also be a reason for the contrary? That females would undergo surgery so as to minimise the potential of being paid less?

Thanks melanieb!

I really have thoughts every now and then whether am I male sometimes.

I used to work with a woman who was very masculine in her motions and abilities, though she was quite feminine in her appearance, and quite pretty. She admitted to me that she would like to be a man, and I wouldn't be surprised if she were to follow that route.

At the time I was working a second job nights at Home Depot for extra money, and this position allowed her to be quite physical and be as masculine as she wanted without having to make a physical change, and this scenario fits in with the story I posted. It also fits in with not having enough money to make a physical change. Home Depot isn't known for high wages.

If you can identify yourself as masculine...despite others telling you that you are female...well, it's something you just know inside.

You'll know if you are.

Originally Posted by melanieb

I used to work with a woman who was very masculine in her motions and abilities, though she was quite feminine in her appearance, and quite pretty. She admitted to me that she would like to be a man, and I wouldn't be surprised if she were to follow that route.

At the time I was working a second job nights at Home Depot for extra money, and this position allowed her to be quite physical and be as masculine as she wanted without having to make a physical change, and this scenario fits in with the story I posted. It also fits in with not having enough money to make a physical change. Home Depot isn't known for high wages.

If you can identify yourself as masculine...despite others telling you that you are female...well, it's something you just know inside.

You'll know if you are.

What do you mean by masculine? Any examples?

Maybe I'm not, it might just be the pressure because I can't be with the girl I like because of my gender.

Well, we worked at Home Depot, a home improvement store, with building materials and supplies on every shelf. Lumber and plumbing were also a big part of the store.

This woman was maybe 5' 2" and had long, dark hair, but she was as strong as many of the men and worked harder than most. Her work gloves would be on and she'd haul lumber, fencing, paint, all of which was heavy and made a good workout.

Traditionally, building supplies and work related to them would be a role filled by a man because of the larger muscle mass required.

Plus the job was at night, so standards of behavior were very relaxed. Swearing was common, particularly if someone got hurt.

Originally Posted by melanieb

Well, we worked at Home Depot, a home improvement store, with building materials and supplies on every shelf. Lumber and plumbing were also a big part of the store.

This woman was maybe 5' 2" and had long, dark hair, but she was as strong as many of the men and worked harder than most. Her work gloves would be on and she'd haul lumber, fencing, paint, all of which was heavy and made a good workout.

Traditionally, building supplies and work related to them would be a role filled by a man because of the larger muscle mass required.

Plus the job was at night, so standards of behavior were very relaxed. Swearing was common, particularly if someone got hurt.

Hmm okay.

I start whining when I have to carry heavy things for too long. Then a close guy friend will offer to help me to carry my backpack.

Honestly I think that's a perk to being female.

It's nice having guys do things for me or offer help, something not always offered by guys to other guys. Kinda sad, really.

I shall assume whining is not what a masculine girl will do?

Originally Posted by melanieb

Honestly I think that's a perk to being female.

It's nice having guys do things for me or offer help, something not always offered by guys to other guys. Kinda sad, really.

Haha a guy offering another guy physical help would almost seem offensive. Unless the other guy was in the elderly group.

Well, unless the guy clearly couldn't handle the amount of items.

Or so the assumption is.

Originally Posted by Carrot

I shall assume whining is not what a masculine girl will do?

Since World War II, this image has shown the strength of women.

Originally Posted by melanieb

Since World War II, this image has shown the strength of women.

Damn.

I need something that defines a woman. Lols.

Originally Posted by Wolfwood

If this were true, would it not also be a reason for the contrary? That females would undergo surgery so as to minimise the potential of being paid less?

I'm not sure if most people think like this. If they did, I can imagine a few issues:
1. Transmen might not have the capital to fund the surgery. Even if their financial pay increases after the transition to being male, the increase might not be enough to pay off the $10,000-20,000 required for surgery.
2. As melanieb's article states, females/women usually have lower paying jobs compared to men as well. Not only are women being paid less in similar jobs, but many women work jobs which require fewer skills, or the professions they take are underpaid. Traditionally women's professions can be considered less valuable than men's professions. Transmen could change professions, but usually that requires a significant time and financial investment.

Even if transmen decided to take on tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt in the hope that their future wages would be enough to pay off said debt, their profession would likely remain unchanged. Their potential income would increase by an average of $1.25-2.50/hour more as men (assuming they started working for a different company; their original employer wouldn't suddenly change the men's wages after the transition). Depending on the men's salaries and cost of transition, it could take anywhere from 2 to 10 years to pay off that debt--or longer if they have difficulty managing a budget.

This cost becomes much more overwhelming if you include ailing parents or children to care for, especially if one is a single parent. These two issues would primarily affect older individuals wishing to transition.


I wonder what transmen/women think about the risk of losing the ability to orgasm. I have a couple of friends who are transitioning, but that's a rather personal question to ask.

I orgasm just fine. Honestly, better even, and certainly more frequently.

There is a risk of sensitivity loss after surgery, and this can last anywhere from 6 weeks to forever. These days, because of modern equipment and a lot of knowledge on trans surgery, many surgeons can avoid this loss of sensation, allowing a perfectly healthy sex life to occur. The risk of loss is generally low, and most surgeries are a success. Still, as with any type of surgery, there are always risks.

I'm glad you haven't had any problems! I know orgasms aren't necessary for happy relationships, but they're definitely helpful in reducing stress and frustration, as well as for intimacy purposes. I'm sure the risk is worth it for most/all transfolk, but I imagine it must be very disappointing for those who do lose the ability to orgasm. =/

I once changed my medication doses, and I lost sensitivity all over my body. It was unpleasant, and I didn't feel right. I also couldn't find any 'release' and that just wasn't fun.

I stopped taking my medications together and all was well, even with the lower dose.

So many variables...

I was once dead-set on getting surgery done for Male-to-Female. I cursed my male body. I hated it with a passion.
Since then, I've learned to balance my female and male self a little better...
I don't curse myself or my body... rather I'm happy the way I am. I'm both female and male inside my head.
I still feel awkwardly out of place as if I don't belong to either gender- and it's a little isolating here.
But it's okay. I've accepted the hand I was dealt.

I would still go through SRS if money wasn't an issue.
And if my body wasn't so horribly masculine. o___o]

It's a horrible thing to go through, not being able to accept yourself... not knowing who you are and how you relate to the rest of the world.
My love goes out to anyone who has to endure this. <3