The book of mars

i am in the grocery store shopping with my mom and heather.
we need stuff for a picnic kind of thing.
beside a river, under a hill a ton of people are eating in scattered groups all down the waterside.

i'm in a room with a lot of people. on the wall, there are funny parodies of every movie you can think of.
heather and i look at a harry potter parody. the harry potter actor is really ugly.
off to the "side" of the scene, more like the "side of the dream" (unexplainable), a man beckons me.
i question my surroundings, but fight knowing the truth. this is a dream...but i like this dream.
i know this isn't real. he keeps asking me to come thru, wake up, c'mon.
i disassociate from the dream and the entire scene feels like a veil has been lifted.
a white screen remains where i thought reality was. he pushes the screen away.
now i see "real" reality. i'm in a big lab with a ton of computers.
there's a lady and her daughter (5 yrs old probably) messing around on one.
heather is on one too. i'm told to go play on one.

i have to "log in" with any name. make it up, etc. put your own in, someone elses, it doesn't matter. each name combination will be different.
i don't remember what name i put in. on the screen, a model of the entire universe appears. it's the person's universe, as each person in our "Reality" has his or her own. this is how you can view them.
using the middle scroll thing some mouses have, i zoom all the way in. it's earth, the persons perceived "home" or "center of the universe".
as i scroll out, the seemingly circular planet (rendered 2D because its just a computer) spins and twists clockwise, unraveling and becoming the periodic table of elements. this is represented by a long line of blocks that turns several times, showing thousands of elements. the line keeps going crazy in every direction, in different shapes as it makes molecules, atoms, etc.
supposedly, i am scrolling "out", aka trying to get the larger picture. confusing.

i stop playing this game and go over to the man behind it all, the man who beckoned me.
he looks friendly, just a cool dude maybe 30 or 35.
"can i talk to you about the film you made or are you sensitive about criticism?" i ask.
he laughs and says go for it.
"i hated the part where i was looking at all those movies. it made it seem so real, which sucks because it was a stupid part."
i talk like my entire life was a movie.
he laughs about it and says some movie award organization said that's why he didn't receive some award for it.
we talk about "making movies" and stuff, but all the time we know we mean making "reality".

i live in a huge farm house in a new country town on "fog" street.

i'm in the attic with heather and my mom and dad. we're all smoking a bowl. we get super stoned.

heather and i go into a room in the attic, which is a blueberry field inside the house.

"hey we want to be on a real field" we think and go outside and touch and experience the grass. it's nice.

thru the woods, i see the color aqua and red. what the? two horses thoses colors come by into the field.

it's heather's friends brittany and some girl. heather runs over and says hi hi hi and all of that.

i get jealous. i talk to the other girl. i've met her once or twice, but as a kid i remember being friends with her. she says we were but not for long. i think it might be sarah silverman (? )

they talk and talk and talk and i get too jealous and mad to handle it. i run away like a child.

i run thru a door in the woods which leads to town. i walk around like i'm on a longboard. what the fuck i want to longboard!

i go home and grab mine. it's shaped like a fish, and is colored very cool. i ride in town and on a big hill and zig zag on a main road, exploring places that i can go to now since i just moved here. i forgot about how sad i was.

a long long epic of a dream scattered into fragments as i woke.

i am in another world, no not really... like another dimension of our world. like a narnia but less fantastic.

i follow a group of like 5 people i know, including heather and my mom.

near the end of it, we enter this house. its a shitty apartment of two old folks, grandparent types. think florida retirees. but their house is all batty, literally they love bats and spiderwebs and soft goth decor. they show us pictures in an album of something, not their children or whatever like normal.

i look at the pictures and hold the pages up. me and heather start tearing off the pictures like stickers. we tear off the borders like stickers too. we look at the lady and realize by doing this, we tore her apart and now she is very very thin and we see now she is made of photographs like a photo mosaic:



for whatever reason we are being detectives, looking for something, trying to find these people guilty. we can't though, so we just make friends with them. when its time to leave, i immediately fear the outside. previously in the dream, it feels like, i encountered something spooky out there and now wanted protection from the door of the house to the car.

i don't want my mom for protection so i ask the old lady. she doesn't want to really because she is so thin and worn because we took her photos. she agrees anyway and i take her hand. as we open the door, she says dont let the dog out. well, i do anyway on accident.

the dog, made of photographs like her, runs out and into the fields surrounding the house. i don't really care and just go to the car alone, brave enough. while walking toward the car, the sky flashes lightning and i speed up and hop in.

scene note: i want to describe the scene for memory's sake and future reference for myself.

outside the house, there is a dirt patch leading to a shitty garage/shed next to it, attached almost. then about 200 feet of yard area/field. our car is parked at the edge of this, almost in the woods surrounding the house. the house is in a weird center of this giant forest. the trees are mostly dead looking creepy ones, a few coniferous here and there stretching up into the sky. its dark out and all very scary.

in the car, heather in the back seat, my mom driving and someone else in front of me. there is a bee on this persons shoulder and i freak out. the bee isn't black and yellow though, its grey and black. he rolls down the window and it flies out.

driving along, i look out and see a dragon. i keep telling heather to look. at first it was just a big white bird that i thought looked cool flying, but as i noticed/put my attention on it more, it "became" a dragon (looked the same, my mind just labeled it different). there were two kids flying on it and heather said it was Falcor (neverending story). my dreammind reminisced flying on a dragon.

we drive to this room somehow, or maybe we are just there, or maybe i forgot a lot. but we are in this giant room like the room of hidden things in harry potter. there was so much junk in it, ceiling to floor.

we play around for awhile and then i get 3rd person POV. we are not who we think we are! we are now players from guild wars, we are all in a dungeon (looks the same though). we beat up some bad dragon and hundreds of chests fall from the ceiling and onto the platform where we are. the characters all rush around (i have my own but am "watching", not actively participating and have no control) to get all the chests. theres a cut scene and it shows a final giant dungeonmaster boss ultimate chest fall from the mouth of a dragon.

one lady rushes over to it and gets it. it transforms into a changing station, she goes in and comes out with the best armor ever ever ever. i've never seen it, but it looks pretty elegant.

back to me, heather, my mom, and the last party member. we are in the room and i jump from the platform and fall to the ground. i look up at a godfigure who isn't there physically and smile. "its over isn't it", "yep".

scene switch to me walking on a narrow newly paved road with nothing anywhere else around me except a "longboarding bar" where people take a break from boarding. this is the heaven of longboarders, a place of only new pavement and a snack shop. i am waiting for something.

jack comes with his car/longboard (huh) and is telling me how to exit this world. i have to do a slide into the portal at the end of this long stretch of pavement. ok! i get awesome speed going down the godperfect hill and slide into it, transitioning into waking life! i wake up!

i am at my father's brothers house (none of this is waking life true). we come here twice a year, once for christmas and once for a birthday.

its night time. i am inside with my two cousins and my half sister casey (fathers daughter). casey is an artist in this dream and is creating a 3D painted character on cardboard.

i do the same. everyone jokes about how ugly mine is, but casey and I know it is pretty good technical skills.

we go outside but casey stays inside. there are neighborhood kids out here doing something. we run around hills even tho we cannot see much.

suddenly, all three (me and two cousins) of our ankles get clamped with a metal chain to lock us onto the hill. we are prisoners of the neighborhood kids.

they come over and have this strange device. they ask each of us to find something to counter the spinning saw inside the device. if we don't counter it, it will saw thru our ankles.

we all somehow manage to find things to counter it. we put metal things in front of the saw so it goes thru that instead of our skin. i find a pair of scissors. there is plastic around the metal part but i say "dont worry i got this", which i do.

casey comes out and rescues us and shoos everyone off. i get in the car with her and my dad and we leave.

i realize that the entire dream is actually a short story in a magazine. i continue reading.

we drive to a big store. we get out and i never see my dad for the rest of the dream.

inside the store i meet up with a few other friends. at the store, there is a big prize counter in the center. everyone has a certain number of points, points = money to spend on the junk inside the counter. a few carnie people are running it.

i tell my mom to get me more paint with some of my points, and she gets me a set with the same color scheme as the one i used to make the character in the beginning of the dream. i ask for a refund and the carnie says no.

i ask my mom how many points i have left and she refuses to tell me. i dont want any of the junk here so i walk away.

i jump onto a cart loaded with soda cans. casey is pushing it and my friends are in it with me. we open all the soda at the same time and are propelled like by a rocket of de-pressurized soda thru the whole store.

casey and i leave with someone else. there is another group of stores across the parking lot.

while walking, i tell casey my idea: "i want to make a belt that begins at your shoe and comes up to yr pants vertically, on both legs and one small one in the middle." "that will make you look like you have a bulge" she says.

my feet are burning on the tar and i realize i have no shoes or socks on. i skip into the store and lose casey.

i want to find socks and the back door that i enter leads to the sock section. i find a pair i like and take them, but realize theres a worker here. she is with my friend chase.

chase is trying to buy a bra. he is claiming to want a sex change (he always makes ridiculous claims in waking life). i tell him to buy heather's size, 36 C. he puts it on his body and looks at himself in the mirror.

he is embarrassed because he still likes being a boy.

i forget about the socks and walk thru the store. i see casey on a small red pedal powered truck for a child. it says "looking for a friend". i run up to her and she laughs and pedals away. i see another red truck with someone in it. i realize the game is to find eachother in the store.

time warp. i hear casey saying, about the store i was just in: "we had three hard workers on duty today. thats the equivalent of 1000 pairs of sunglasses and 500 windows. how did we let this happen?" she was referring to a theft in the store.

i leave wherever i am at this point and end up in the original store. i see holden, my brother.

we talk about surfing and how i would really like to try it. he says he'd like to go on a trip to the west coast.

my dream turns into a long strip of pavement surrounded by 50 foot waves on both sides. most cars get taken by the waves before they can reach safety on the other side.

my sight follows a woman in a car like a tv show camera would. she is talking by herself, to the camera that is my consciousness.

she tells about how gay people come here to find their auras. someone/something asks what that is and she disregards. she parks her car and gets out.

this is a very brave act since the point of the area is to go as fast as you can to safety. to find the yr aura, you must park and risk yr life.

she steps onto a median which runs thru the whole road for about 200 feet. there are steps into a little pool on it.

she walks up the steps and says this is where the aura can be found.

i wake up.

i am in a square room (normal). my whole class is lined up back-to the wall on all four sides.

we are taking turns reading our final projects out loud. we had to write/publish a poem that was as long as a book and printed in the same fashion.

i listen to a guy read his out loud. its plot follows a woman and her son.

my friend chellsye is next to me. i whisper for her to text heather because my phone died. they are good friends in my dream and she was already texting her.

outside of the room i am on a college campus. its a big field with little wood houses speckled around the area. there are tennis courts in the center.

i go to one house. these are like greek houses. i know a lot of bitches from my real high school are living here, but i am still curious as to what it looks like inside (i'm not sure if i want to go to this college or not)

there is a sign inside that says "9:00 pm sleep time/cannabis/meditation".

i'm at some kind of school or a boarding house with classes, really

i keep touching this fat girls legs but get embarrassed and stop because i dont want her to think i like her, i just want to touch her.

an asian girl named "12"

we have to jump across rocks in a low-ceiling'd room

in a third person pov, i make myself or my "character" move across a platform on a roof, collecting beams of sun energy. i'm good at this game. i keep getting "perfects"

on a really thin piece of paper, "10" and "12"'s conversation is written down. "is this you, 12?" "no thats from 1864" i crumple the paper and pretend it never happened.

i "wake up" and tell heather my dream, and say she was the fat girl. she wasn't really.

Lucid Thrift Store

I'm in some kind of thrift store, which is a regular living room but with a rack of clothes. I see Heather's new clothes she bought for her birthday the other day (in real life) on top of the rack.

She wouldn't donate those, I think. I am instantly lucid. The dream is difficult to connect with for whatever reason. I rub my hands together for stability but realize I have mittens on. I remove them and try again.

I sit on the floor for a moment, thinking of what I want to do in a dream. I try to recall my goals.

An eastern women is at a cash register and is doing a little dance. It is very simple but she acts very proud, as if it took her months to perfect it. She looks over to me and offers me acid after she's done.

I close my eyes and she places a tab of acid on my tongue (I "know" this happened, but didn't actually feel it occur.) Suddenly my body is knocked from a sitting position to my head on the floor. I lose lucidity.

The dream spins into a different room, a different scene:


Dylan Returns

I am in my ex-beloved's living room (not a replica of real life at all). It has very nice hardwood floors which I admire. We are hanging out, catching up. He offers to bring me to the ATM with him or something.

We are in his car. I ask if he has his license and he responds that he doesn't. He goes through the ATM and we drive somewhere else.

We are now on a beach. He is tattooing Bart Simpson onto my foot. I look at my foot a lot and think of how sketchy the lines are and if I'll regret this.

I have a discussion with someone else on the beach of how stupid water shoes are.

Dream Memory

I am riding my bike with Heather on the pegs. This is my "car", and in my dream it does feel like I'm driving a car. Somehow the pedals are the gas and break, it all works out. It's quite the illusion.

I drive into the parking lot of my local cinema (the scene is very realistic, everything is in place as it is in waking life). Heather talks to me about something on Youtube. I explain how I have dreams where a building will be a major internet site like Youtube, and even recall about a "dream" (I never had this dream, though- false memory) where the cinema in front of us was Youtube, embodied as a building.

I park my bike-car in a space and explain how sometimes I forget which pedal is the break and which is the gas. I then offer that Heather and I go to the south end part of town to see the big tent of wares (I had a dream once where I did visit this place, but it doesn't exist in waking life). We start to pedal away and I forget where it is. I get behind another "car" which is actually just Ken from 30 Rock sitting in the middle of the street. We go around him.

Hot Tea Fragment

I have a cup and pot of boiling water. It's really, really hot, the smoke is rolling out really thick. I pour it into my cup, but by the time the water is inside the cup, it has disappeared into water vapor. I keep trying to fill my cup but it doesn't work. Finally after several tries, I get enough for tea.

I turn around from the kitchen area to see a big circle of people. I sit down next to my friend Chase and set my tea on the ground by my chair. (Memory loss of whatever happens here)

Now I am in a dark auditorium full of everyone from school. I'm with Autumn. This scene lasts a long time as we converse with everyone. (Another memory loss )

Ecstasy Field Trip

I've just done ecstasy somewhere. I'm in Barnes and Nobles, a bookstore. I "forget" that I'm on ecstasy and just feel really, really stoned. My school is here and we're on some kind of field trip.

I'm being shown a science demo. An older guy is holding a glass full of some kind of liquid. When he tips the glass a certain way, the liquid drips out the bottom in a gelatinous manner. He tells me to touch it but I'm really sicked out by it and a little afraid.
Where the magazines usually are in the store, there is a big empty floor. A few people are sitting around in a circle. I stay here and enjoy how stoned I am until a lady who seems to be in charge of the whole thing tells us to go to the Blank Journals Section.
I follow the crowd into an area with the sections: blank journals, pseudo science, and Japan. We form a circle around these shelves. I'm standing next to the Japan books but I want to be by the pseudo science books so I make a little leap around the shelf to do so.

Suddenly I remember I'm on ecstasy and go over to a music box. It's playing really soft music. I wonder how different music will make me feel so I press a little square with fractal album work on it. I don't hear the music change and feel no different.



I walk around to the children's book section. The mentally disabled kids are hanging out here. A teacher begins to laugh at me and says I have an overbite. I realize that my teeth are hanging out of my mouth. It feels like I had fake plastic teeth over my real teeth for a long time and now I'm conscious of my actual mouth. It's bizarre and the feeling doesn't go away.


Homeless Shelter

I have no body or consciousness. I am watching my dream.

My friend Pehry is in the homeless shelter. He's fighting with another boy. The boy says he wants to have a physical fight downtown in a half hour, and Pehry goes along with it. There's a mediator, an older women. She doesn't make him say no, and follows him as he walks downtown.

I am now myself. I am walking around near the homeless shelter. I'm with Heather. Under my arm I'm carrying several rolled up colorful mats. We're dropping them off here.

Heather is afraid to go in so I walk up to the place. I remember that it's only available for homeless people to go into at night, so I wonder if I can get in. I knock on the door and it swings in my direction, locking me between the door and the outside wall. It swings back in, I hop over the other way and knock again. I enter.

A few ladies are here cleaning the place. It smells like cat litter. There's a calendar with a family photo as the month's picture. One lady comes up to me and asks what I want, politely.

I explain to her I have a few "yoga mats'' she can have for the shelter. She replies rather excitedly but then questions if she needs them. I realize they aren't yoga mats but actually mats for sitting on while you draw with chalk outside. You put the chalk on the mats so the pieces don't roll away. I don't tell her this.


The Mansion

For whatever reason, I am walking into a big mansion home owned by a girl I went to high school with briefly. I'm wearing my hat really strangely but don't seem to mind.

She greets me like we were really good friends and I do the same to her. We walk around her house and I ask her if it's haunted. She says "sometimes". Her boyfriend is a really gangster dude, very unlike her, and walks around us to go to the bathroom. She lets me wander around her house.

I look up the stairs that are in front of me and see the silhouette of the bathroom. I see a rat fall out of her boyfriend's jeans. I go over to her and tell her this. When he flushes the toilet, the rat falls down the pipe and lands in a box under the stairs. She "changes reality" and when I open the box, its just an outline of the rat. She kind of winks at me.

I get a ride home from here with Jack and Heather. The road is really torn up and we hit all the bad sections at high speeds, making us airborne for a moment. He drops me off at home.

I play the sims and make the Brady Bunch's house. The girl calls my phone and asks if I want to hang out, but its like 11 at night and I don't have a ride. I tell her this and feel really bad.

I'm walking through a lot of sludgy snow on all fours down the street. I put my thumb out at every car that goes by but no one picks me up. One car slows down. It's a pink see-through "car" made of cardboard. It doesn't pick me up but I follow it.

I arrive at some shitty little house. The hallway is so tiny I must walk sideways through it. In the kitchen, I pour myself a big cup of smoothie. My mom's voice from somewhere comes out and says "That's all pineapple!", and taste it. It is.

I open a door and see a bunch of kids playing outside in the back yard. I don't join them. I open another door and now I'm in my basement from my childhood house. My kitten (that I have in real life) sneaks down the stairs and my mom tells me to find her. I look around and become distracted by noticing my basement.

It has fused my memory of the basement and the house, and there are stained glass bookshelf cases right next to the stairs. I walk into a room behind the stairs. It's a giant library with our big bookshelf case (usually in the dining room) in a largely empty room. There's a middle room next to this one with three bookshelves, all filled with just two series: One fantasy series my mom read, and another Peanuts-esque comic series my aunt read (it doesn't really exist). On one of the bookshelves in this room is a big collection of all the art Graeme Base (of Animalia fame) ever did.

I look through a doorway and see a bunch of people and Heather standing around. I do a weird dance and end up on the floor and a girl next to Heather does the same dance. I walk into the first room again and now it's a gift shop in my basement. All of my friends are here on some kind of "field trip". I start reading some holiday cards which are in a case.

My friend Justine comes up to me and says she's upset that she's so mean. I say "Yeah, you're an asshole, but I am too," and we talk about we are mean and wish we weren't. I end up hugging her and Heather comes over and seems unphased by it, which I'm glad about because it wasn't a sexual move at all.

I go back to the card section and really want to steal a Harry Potter "card" that is actually a really thick notebook full of original sketches by the author. I imagine that there are cameras in my basement because this is now a store, but end up grabbing it anyway. It's time to go so everyone, including me, walk through a new doorway exit to the driveway.

I get in a car that Jack's driving and my brother Holden is supposed to be sitting next to me. He gets in for a second but leaves. Jack doesn't know that he left and speeds off. Time lapse to us driving on a main road in my town. I say "Jack, pull over here, Holden's there," and we do. I tap on the glass of my window and Holden looks up. We're on the other side of the road, though. He has an air of superiority so as he walks through the busy traffic, all the cars stop for him, some of them dangerously close to running him over (but he doesn't seem to mind at all).

He goes to the sidewalk next to the car and starts running. He is challenging Jack to a race to wherever our destination is. Jack takes offense to this and starts speeding to make sure he wins and runs every red light. I'm kind of panicking and as I get more and more afraid, the car goes more and more out of control. Soon we have so much speed that the car starts to fly.



We are in the air and I see we're going to land in a really bad place, in between some buildings in like a hedge or something. It seems really dangerous. We land....and I lose the dream.

(Straight from the dream journal)

A house on a lake- the doorway is so small I must crawl and contort to enter. Jamie (who is sometimes Cole) own it with Tyler (dating Jamie, in real life and in my dream). Heather (who is sometimes Dylan) are moving in. Skeptical because I am insecure if they want us. Two bathrooms but space is limited.



There was a lot more to the dream, but it trailed off into a strange "field trip" and I didn't write it down. However, later in the dream, I did come back to the house. Semi-lucid, I was tired of the small doorway, and tried to "will" it bigger. Still semi-lucid, I noticed that the reason the door was so small was because of the unfinished brick entryway. Never will I be able to explain how the entrance was set up, but it was kind of half buried yet fully accessible. Eh.

I rarely do researched dream interpretation beyond what I think my dreams mean, but I did look into this one. My dictionary really helped me understand what this possibly (to me, what this DEFINITELY) means. Tons of gratitude to You, subconscious self.

Heather and I get a ride to the beach. Its really dark out. The water has come up to the side of the road, so we get out to look at this strange phenomenon. Heather and I get into the water and try to catch otters. If you catch one, you pay $90 dollars and it becomes your pet. There are other otters for $100 and then $120. While we try to catch them in the ocean, I look underwater for a second:

Beneath the water, we were not actually in an ocean. It was a bright room filled with water. There were windows looking out into a green country scene. The floor was hundreds of feet away. People were riding underwater chariots, being pulled by bears and apes who were held in rope all around their bodies, yet somehow they could still swim. I became frightened and looked back above water: we were still in the dark ocean at midnight.

Similak to:

Dream Graduation

I’m in school. Graduation is getting set up RIGHT NOW. Hallways are empty except me and a few other “left overs” who can’t graduate for whatever reason. I have a bottle of wine in my hand and start running and screaming: look at me! A cup manifests and I pour it, chugging the bottle and then the cup, bottle then the cup until I’m in the rotunda, drunk and everyone’s looking at me.

I follow some other left overs through dusty abandoned hallways so Mrs. L doesn’t see us and find us out. We all have this plan to graduate anyway so we go way up into the theater storage attic and try our best to hide ourselves. Me under a big blanket with someone and I’m drunk and my eyesight is like that of when I’m so tired I can’t keep my lids awake. So for most of it I do have my eyes closed and just listen under a blanket stacked on top of theater props so I almost touch the ceiling.

Someone tries to peep into the hallway and a little Asian girl who ate all her hair off (really) is the “hall monitor” for graduation sees that someone. She sends in this bulky girl, a real bully. She’s got a trick. She pulls the first kid she sees to her and licks that student’s lip, touches it and then taps her temple. She screams and falls down, not dead but just painful. She does another little trick to someone (pulls their lip ring over their nose!) and says she won’t tell Mrs. L. She’s gonna leave but first wants to show off another trick, looking for someone she pulls me over to her! No way, I hate pain (who doesn’t); she spins my chin into a tight spiral and every time I un-spin it a little, shit it hurts. But someone tells me there’s a trick to her trick and just un-spin it all at once: I do, and I feel just a little tug and I’m okay.

A few of us go further into the attic and we find that there’s a desk and under the desk is nothing, it’s a free-fall to the ice arena where they graduate so you can watch the whole thing. They’re almost ready! A teacher, Mrs. Smith (4’7 or something small!) sees us peeping and comes marching over. We all run out of the attic, oh too late, and Mrs. L is standing waiting for us.

She’s a lovely lady sometimes and says we can all graduate, so everyone puts their gowns on. I don’t have one. At the final door to the ice arena, its time to graduate, I don’t have a gown, but there’s a box with a white Freshman gown. I’m a sophomore in my dream (hey wait, why were all the different classes graduating instead of just the seniors!) and our color is green, so I’m a bit embarrassed. We walk out and I run over to Autumn so she can take my picture (it’s mandatory). When I get over to my class, they’re all wearing white and I’m the only one wearing green.


Lucid Awakening

I’m downtown, walking in a little drizzle. I plan on going to the community market to volunteer when I see a little nook between buildings with a candy store built in. It doesn’t have a door or a cashing machine, it’s just a bunch of glass jars with a ton of bright colored candy. I’m pretty delighted but wait! We don’t have a candy store downtown. And why is downtown so tiny? I’m lucid. I walk into the center of downtown (as I said, everything is tiny and compact, like 50 feet). I look around and notice:

This feels real. This is REALITY to me. Everything is solid and I am perceiving it just as I do waking life.

(This single lucid fragment has created something in me that has helped everything I've been doing dream-wise DRAMATICALLY. I understood before that dreams=reality while waking life=hazy and unreal while you're dreaming, but I never FELT and EXPERIENCED that completely. Now that I have, something has clicked. My reality checks take up to five minutes or more, not because I feel that more time is necessary or anything, but that's how long it takes me to discern my reality. REALITY has a new meaning. I become lucid more often (though write more in the hard copy of my dream journal, less on here). I thank my subconscious for letting me explore this feeling.)


Fragments

I make a sandwich for myself "when I wake up"- WHY WASN'T I LUCID?

Autumn and I are being obnoxious in school, so Heather leaves without saying a word to me. Crushing.
NOTE: Autumn told me today that she had a VERY SIMILAR dream, of her and I and Heather (who she has never met or talked to) all in a classroom.

Touching Angelina

I am in an airport with Jack, Heather and Autumn. I see some famous chef in all white outside the big the glass walls of the entrance room we’re in. She’s with a guy in a gray tuxedo. I realize this is who Autumn came to meet. They are famous.

The chef woman has a pad of paper and I go take it from her and spit on a few of the first pages, hand it back to her, and run back in. When Autumn goes to meet them, they talk about how mean I am. The guy comes in and lectures me on being nice. He tells me how Autumn emailed him. He’s some political guy. I don’t really care about any of them and let them leave.

Heather points out an Arabic guy and gets really afraid he’s going to bomb the place, so we all book it to the car outside. Heather steps in dog shit and slides into the front seat. We all laugh about it. I’m in the back.

Everything kind of turns into a big giant ship. We are all part of a ship, and the ship is made of lego blocks. Heather and Jack are green and blue blocks and I am red blocks. I start taking my pieces away from the ship and they question why. I don’t really know why, I just want my own ship. So I take all my pieces, make my own ship with red and black blocks, and zoom away.

I fly to a clothing store. I am now inside. I start looking around for a full length mirror because I remember I haven’t shampooed my hair in a long time and I’m self conscious. I look through a big mittens section of the store and find a few different mirrors but they are all too close to my face. I find a little hat and wear it, thinking it will cover my hair.

I find a mirror and see that I have really long hair (not in waking life) and a center part. The hat looks not too bad on me. I start walking around and find a section of really nice textured dresses. I touch them all. I realize Angelina Jolie is one of the dresses, and she’s wearing it. I keep touching it anyway.



“You shouldn’t touch my family dress,” she says. She smiles and walks away. Wow, Angelina Jolie talking to me, what the fuck! I get really excited. I walk around some more.

There’s a little dark tunnel section of the store with a map of the whole place in it. A lot of people are just hanging out in here. I ask about Angelina Jolie being here. They tell me she’s starring in a movie here, with her girlfriend, a young girl my age. What! I get jealous. That could be me! I start walking around the store more.

Outside the little tunnel, the set is displayed. I see the girl. She’s half Emma Watson and half a girl I know from school. She’s being filmed. I sneak around the set and find myself in a new area of the store. There’s a big stage. I enter kind of next to the stage and am facing a giant crowd of sitting people. They are watching an opera show. It’s really dark. The whole store is kind of dark, like there are no lights on, but you can still see with the natural light.

I move on. I sneakily enter into a little passageway into a room. They are storing all the costumes for the movie here. I manage to take a stuffed animal that is the symbol and mascot of the movie. It’s reminiscent of Mickey Mouse the original but the head is just one giant black blob.

I take it to the passageway of people in the tunnel. They’re all surprised at how I got this. I told them I was practically invisible and just grabbed it. Pete Wentz, the bassist of Fall Out Boy, is here in the tunnel too. He takes the doll. The people tell me the girlfriend actor is also in a new band with him. I get jealous again! Why does she get all these cool opportunities? (Why was my dream mind judging her SO HARD??)

The girl is now in the tunnel too. She is talking about doing an interview with Pete on some TV show.



“Will it be just us or the whole band?” she asks Pete. Pete explains it will probably be just them because they are the “face” of the band.

“I always liked when the whole band showed up,” I told Pete. “I like when I get to see Joe.” I ruffled his hair and left. Outside on the set, Angelina had makeup on so she didn’t even look like herself. Some teenage boy kept telling me to look at how different she was. The girl came out and they filmed a part. We all went back into the tunnel.

Somehow I had a connection with Angelina even though we didn’t really speak that much (perhaps we did, and I don’t remember). She started to take off her makeup. I sat down and thought about how much I didn’t like the girlfriend. Now Angelina came over and started to take off her dress. She kind of straddled me while standing up and began to take her clothes off. I wanted to touch her legs, but could I do that? It was fucking Angelina Jolie and she was taken.

I noticed her legs were Heather’s legs: they had her scars on the thighs. I wake up.

Totoro Encounter

I wake up to a phone call. It’s a little boy saying my dog is outside. I don’t have a dog, but I go check anyways.

Outside, a golden retriever is laying in my yard. His name is Rusty and in waking life he belongs to my friend Martin but in this dream, he belongs to my neighbor Bill. The kid got confused. I look for the boy but I see no one in sight, and the dog is just sleeping. He thought he was hurt.

I peep downwards. On the other side of the screen door is a little white totoro with a cute red cap on and little red mittens! I let him in.

He runs around for a moment and then I lift him up. Wait, this could be a trick. My anxiety kicks in and I think of what this could be: a weird listening device robot and someone is hearing on the other end what I am talking to it about? I put my finger in its mouth. It’s wet, and I feel a few baby teeth. I pat all around it, it’s fur is very very soft, like a shaved cat belly. It seems soft on the inside: no mechanical parts.



It doesn’t like this patting though and it hops out of my hands and runs under my couch. I’m sad because now I know it’s real, and I already fucked up our first meeting! I get on my hands and knees and peep under the couch and lure it out.

I hold the cute little thing in my hands. He takes his hat and mittens off and I cuddle him a little. I then remember my two cats. Shit. They smell it, and come from upstairs. He hops out of my hands and the chase begins. I feel so bad for him, I can’t catch either my cats or him. At one point, I see something ruffling under a big blanket and I think it’s my cat. I tap my foot to lure her out, and she jumps at my foot, clawing it. She feels bad and kind of walks around me in apology.

I find the totoro and scoop him up and run to the door. I am about to set him free when my cats come and think I put him out already, so they’re eager to leave. They both go out and the totoro is safe. I set him down. He begins to cry softly. I feel so bad and squeeze him lightly, apologizing.

He is very in the moment and stops crying when I cheer him up and he realizes there’s no cats. He doesn’t seem to be hurt. He scurries back under the couch with his hat and mittens. He keeps smiling at me someone even though his mouth isn’t really like that.

I false awaken. Both my cats are on my bed. A shimmer of light shines through my window and all three of us go and watch the beautiful sun set.

Both of my cats were on my bed sleeping all night. Maybe we shared these dreams

Fantasy Cousins

I am in a parking lot with my mom and my cousin Catie. We’re going to go somewhere, like Portland or something, even though it’s really late and it’s two hours there, two hours back. Catie says Patrick, her brother/my other cousin, has to come too. I like Patrick in waking life, but I scream really loud in my dream when I hear this. I don’t say anything, I’m just screaming.
Before we go to Portland, we have to stop at Heathers house for some reason and wait a long time. Catie and Patrick awkwardly sit in the living room. The house is very different than waking life. I peep into Heathers room and she’s sleeping. I go in.
She’s having a dream and she’s smiling so big. She’s talks too, occasionally. I’ve never seen anyone have such an in depth dream. I wake her and apologize because her dream sounded cool, but she said it just ended.

We all leave together. The scene changes to a very weird room, cramped and full of people. We seem to be “regular” people, while there are more “noble” people. One is an old man, very strict and military-esque while appearing wise and mystic as well. He has a long beard like a stereotypical Chinese guy. The other noble is a young girl. She’s giving everyone weird creatures to ride on. Patrick gets on back of one that kind of looks like a bear, but is clearly nocturnal for some reason and has jagged limb structures. I want to get on one, but the girl explains it’s only for males. Heather, Catie and I sit down, and I feel really mad.
The scene changes to just me and Patrick walking up this big hill. He starts to dance kind of, just moving his body in a strange rhythmic way. On the ground below us, ice forms as he dances in a beautiful pattern. I join, and the pattern becomes more intricate. We get to the top.


Fragment

I’m at school. Our classroom moves to the teachers secret library. It’s a tilting room that I’m afraid will tip over. I sit in the back, closest to the exit. The ceiling is extremely high and there are bookshelves that reach it, toppling with books. I hate myself because I keep saying absolutely everything on my mind, whether it makes sense or not. I blame it on being really tired.
Later, we go to a gym. The gym has a giant weird rotating machine in the middle. The teacher comes up to me with a paper I made, and instead of an essay we drew pictures. Mine had a wand made of a marijuana plant, and she said I shouldn’t be so risqué.


Fragment

My mom wants weed, so I call up my friend Dylan and ask about it. He says some obscure date, but my mom goes and visits his apartment anyway. Outside there is a sack of seeds and she thinks its hers. She goes in and he says it’s not, so we leave.


Fragment
I'm shopping with Heather and Tyler. In one store, Heather buys me a jacket. In another, we all look at a display case of jewelry. There is a watermelon mood ring that Tyler wants. Heather wants some earrings (her ears aren't pierced), and I want a little hand clasp with an eye on the palm.