Of One of Four Dolls Morning of May 28, 2020. Thursday. Dream #: 19,519-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min 30 sec. My dream’s initial setting is a unique variation of our current home (with much of my waking-life identity viably modeled), but the focus is mainly on a distortion of the second house from ours. (That house has been empty for a long time in waking life.) Zsuzsanna and I are going to go and look at the inside of the house. I remember it is smaller than ours, but in my dream, it is unrealistically inadequate at first. However, in the final scenario, the setting is a mostly empty lounge room that is bigger than our lounge room. When I am in the house in its lounge room (before it transitions to its larger size), I consider how the back room, as the house only seems to have two, has walls covered with an unusual dark material. It is somewhat like pairs of insect wings evenly and vertically covering all of the walls, additionally reminiscent of fish scales. It seems to be a result of the room being unused for so long, giving the impression of unsuitability for a potential tenant. I eventually notice four dolls standing in a row. Each is about a foot high. I focus my attention on one that represents a girl wearing roller skates. This precursor to the vestibular-cerebral handshake (the fundamental waking process to alert the sleeping mind to comprehend physical awareness to move and rise from bed) exponentially vivifies my dream, as is usually the case, even when witnessed rather than inherited. Although the doll can stand on its own, it seems to be somewhat rickety at first. There is a button below its chest that will activate it. When I press and rub it, the doll continues to quiver (which results in a vestibular-somatosensory-cerebral handshake, vivifying my dream to the next stage) but soon rolls away, moving in an arc. My auditory cortex becomes active as the final dynamic of the cortical handshake. The doll vividly speaks in a young female voice as it circles the room. “Ooh, I am moving. Ooh, what’s that? Ooh, it’s a box.” The doll bumps into an empty cardboard box that matches its height, though immediately turns, rolls a short distance, and bumps into another one opposite the first. I awake with a slightly shaky feeling from being overheated. Most dream content (excluding liminal and enigmatic integration as well as modulation by my conscious self identity) is always a unique rendering of the same waking processes, simple as that, that is, imaginary compensation for the vestibular-cerebral handshake (and as here, additional somatosensory cortex and auditory cortex activity). Ever since I was a child, it has remained mind-boggling that I have rarely seen anyone comprehend this no matter how clearly it has been explained and validated thousands of times since I first wrote extensively about dreams at age eight. I will present here another rundown on this in my 5,100th Internet entry. Dream content is fundamentally co-occurrent with the dream state. As explained many times before, “Similarly, he (Herbert Silberer) has shown that the conclusions of some dreams or some divisions in their content merely signify the dreamer’s own perception of his sleeping and waking…in persons who are gifted philosophically and accustomed to introspection it may become very evident.” It should be self-evident that the shaky doll was a simulacrum of my emerging awareness of my physicality that needed addressing. It was upright and on roller skates (in contrast to my concurrent physical status), with similarity to my “Annabelle” dreaming experience from March 4, 2020. In that instance, the doll was bigger. Additionally, I decided to wear roller skates to enjoy the vestibular experience. Now, some clarification to wrap it all up. Why was the activation button below the doll’s chest? It was because of co-occurrence with my mild indigestion, where I typically press on or rub the same area for some relief. Why was the doll on roller skates? This feature is the result of vestibular cortex activity that has not quite correlated with the emergence of my physical status during REM sleep (the same factor that causes sleep starts, in other words, the transition of atonia to myoclonus). What is with the empty cardboard boxes? They are concurrent with the absence of full cortical integration, as virtual walls always are in the dream state, and ultimately with every other factor of liminal modulation. (For example, one person told me how he crashes through a wall to wake himself, though I often use a virtual door, and one of my more vivid early childhood dreams ended with a bull crashing through a wall. There is no need to pretend it “means” something else.) What about the small room in the back with peculiar walls? I just explained what “walls” are, but the pairs of insect wings are more about a potential increase in neural energy. Their dormancy correlates with the absence of a cortical handshake and no anticipated myoclonus at that point. Why was the doll female? I am more likely to associate a doll with feminine attributes, even though it is an analogy of how my body does not move while sleeping. However, I have not done the thousands of correlations needed to confirm that vestibular simulacrums are more often female than male.
Updated 05-28-2020 at 10:40 AM by 1390
Morning of March 4, 2020. Wednesday. Dream #: 19,434-02. Reading time: 1 min 24 sec. My final passive lucid dreaming event (before I allow it to dissipate) in the first stage of my sleep cycle includes audio only (with no imagery or physicality): “I’ll stay with him until he dies.” (It is the preconscious cue closing the final gate to conscious awareness in entering deeper sleep. The first hour or so of every sleep cycle all my life has consisted of vivid lucid dreams of various types.) The unfamiliar voice is masculine but somewhat artificial as the formant is too high (though still coarse) to sound human. Later, instinctual awareness of being asleep results in an unusual scene implied to be from a movie. It features a male high school principal’s corpse on the top shelf of a hall closet. It seems someone may have killed him. It is the rendering of a sleep simulacrum, which is a factor of every sleep cycle. He represents the cessation of cognizance and the lack of discernible physicality while asleep, though sleep simulacrums only stem from mortality analogies with emergence from a deeper sleep. As an additional result of that process, a parallel analogy emerges into my dream’s imaginary narrative. The Annabelle doll appears in an undefined room. (The association is that physicality is not feasible while asleep, so I am like a doll.) However, it is not ugly (as in the movies). It is about the height of a six-year-old and has blood on the shoulders of its dress. There is another (unknown) male doll of about the same height. Throughout this scenario, there is only cheerfulness in my belief I am guiding the continuity of a movie. Even so, I instinctually anticipate somatosensory dynamics and pick up both dolls (which vivifies my dreaming experience), and I walk through the mostly featureless room. As I carry the dolls, my instinctual awareness of imaginary proprioception increases, and as a result, I find an antique pair of roller skates (the kind without shoes). I put my feet on them, and as I am doing this, my dream becomes increasingly vivid. Eventually, after some realistic movement, my dream fades without discernible waking dynamics.