• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. “Doll” Oddity and Transformation on a Spaceship

      by , Today at 01:52 PM
      Morning of September 9, 1966. Friday.

      I am apparently on a spaceship, though there are no others around except for a couple of adult males who are talking near the end of a hall until they go around a corner (a common event in early childhood dreams). As I wander around, not being focused on much of anything, I see what I first think is a baby lying on the floor on its back, though partly covered with a ragged blanket. I soon consider that it is probably a plastic doll that someone dropped, but upon closer look, it is a heavy metallic statue of a man in a combat helmet, though unrealistically rendered somewhat as having a baby’s body proportions.

      Later, a young girl with a lion shows me to the “front door” so I can go home. She is carrying the “statue”, which is now a ragged cloth doll with no apparent face, which is smaller than what this oddity had been minutes before. The “front door” turns out to be a semicircular ceiling (somewhat like the essence of a cave rather than a building or spaceship) that first seems to display outer space, though eventually I see the buildings of La Crosse and my apartment building. My dream fades from here.

      The night before (September 8, 1966), I had watched the first episode of “Star Trek” ever shown on television; “The Mantrap”; as well as the “Tarzan” episode “Eyes of the Lion”, which came directly before it on the same channel. This “Tarzan” episode (as well as movies like “The Lion” from 1962, which also featured a young girl with an adult male lion) had influenced a number of my dreams later on despite the fact I had confused it in my teenage years with “The Haunted Lighthouse”, an episode of “Lost in Space” that also featured a girl (Penny), a lion, a cave, and “going back home”, though that did not air until October 18, 1967. In the “Tarzan” episode, a young blind girl who lived in a cave used an adult lion as a seeing-eye animal. (I am still wary of lions in some dreams, depending on my level of unconsciousness in relationship to my dream state awareness level, as it is a natural factor of potential RAS modulation as the waking alert factor, and additionally as emergent consciousness coalescence, as a lion can swallow the dream self, though this coalescence factor has been re-symbolized as hugging in some dreams, by way of virtuous circle, as with “Changing the Lion of Coalescence into my Wife Zsuzsanna" from December 3, 2016).

      I can easily see the autosymbolism of this dream. The soldier statue was implied as a RAS modulation precursor, as RAS is often aggressive if I subliminally decide that it is not time to wake yet. However, I eventually accepted consciousness reascension and there was no conflict. Learning the nature of the dream state at an early age was very beneficial, as nightmares or even “bad dreams” are extremely rare, other than when biologically premonitory.

      This online dream journal entry was reformatted from the source material, abridged, and clarified on Wednesday, 21 February 2018.

    2. No Lion Threat

      by , Yesterday at 10:28 AM
      Morning of December 31, 1999. Friday.

      I am with a group of about eight people, all of whom are unfamiliar and unknown to me. The setting is a partial house with typical indoor outdoor ambiguity. The people seem somewhat friendly and there is no conflict at any point. It is an informal social atmosphere.

      Eventually, there is at least one lion walking around near the perimeter of what is implied to be the house. It looks our way a few times but there is never an implied threat. Still, I feel puzzled at times as to whether there should be a wall present between us and the lion. The other people do not comment on its presence.

      Indoor outdoor ambiguity is likely the result of subliminal awareness of the differences between being conscious in waking life and being unconscious in the dream state, as a wall is otherwise liminal space division autosymbolism, the waking space between the incomplete fictional dream self identity and the conscious self identity.

      RAS modulation (dominating RAS mediation triggered by delayed consciousness reascension) remains inactive here, as there is no event regarding the lion, which otherwise remains a passive emergent consciousness factor. All this is saying is that RAS does not detect a possible threat in my immediate environment as I am sleeping. In childhood, concern over a wild animal getting into my Cubitis home was a recurring waking alert factor by way of RAS modulation, though such dreams were not nightmarish, as they only held sustained concern until my dream faded. It is a biological mechanism related to survival instinct, though additionally triggered by the lack of clarity of one’s environment in unconsciousness, especially upon an unfamiliar noise being subliminally perceived.

      Tags: lion
    3. Two Holes in Our Roof

      by , 02-19-2018 at 03:23 PM
      Morning of February 19, 2018. Monday.

      In the first part of my dream, I notice a square hole in the floor in front of our couch, near the middle, about a third of the size of the couch. I consider that our youngest daughter might fall through if she is not paying attention, although the concern does not dominate my thoughts, as I also consider she would likely be aware of it for the most part. It seems to be late afternoon. The couch is in the wrong orientation. It is perpendicular to its real location, as it is on the west side of the lounge room facing east (where it has never been in reality) instead of being at the south edge of the lounge room facing north.

      Later, Zsuzsanna and I are in a fictional room that is oriented where our oldest son’s room would be in reality, though is implied to be a mostly featureless lounge room, though there are bookshelves present. Zsuzsanna remains on my left. I focus on what looks like water dripping from a small area of the ceiling. I somehow see through the ceiling and see a large hole in the roof (as if I had x-ray vision, a fairly common dream state trait), oriented to my right. I tell Zsuzsanna of this, remembering that a new roof had just been built onto our house (in reality) and this new one has already partly “dissolved”. I also notice a smaller hole in the roof near the far corner of the room. I strongly focus on the idea of rain and water coming down, and (without viable lucidity) see water pouring through the small narrow irregular hole in the ceiling.

      After this, I expect more water to come in near where the cat is sleeping in the far corner. A smaller amount of water than in the first instance comes through the ceiling near the corner and splashes the cat, but it does not seem that annoyed and remains in its position. I have a vague concern about books getting wet, but no more water comes through and I slowly wake. (The supposed rainwater event is more like someone quickly pouring water from a bucket from the two areas above the ceiling rather than a leak caused by rain or an even amount of water over time as it does not even seem to be raining when I look through the ceiling with x-ray vision, and then through the hole in the roof each time, as the sky is blue and cloudless.)

      My dream self’s first focus is on the hole in the floor. This represents neural OR gating relating to a subliminal focus on Zsuzsanna’s unconsciousness, as it is in the same location in front of the couch where Zsuzsanna sits in reality. However, when Zsuzsanna later appears in my dream, she remains on my left when subliminal autosymbolism of our real sleeping position is present.

      Vestibular System Personification is incidentally rendered as our youngest daughter in this case. There is no modulating RAS factor or personification thereof and my dream self’s concern is illusory and ambiguous as in many past dreams of this nature.

      The holes in the roof represent neural OR gating of my conscious self identity (which has featured in many past dreams as such), to my dream self’s right as I am sleeping on my left side, my right side more exposed to my real environment. The larger hole, closest to my dream self, opens to my consciousness precursor, the other, Zsuzsanna’s. Neural OR gating means that my conscious self is manipulating my dream, with my personified subconscious (dream self) being only subliminally aware of the implications (that is, without full recall of the dream state, as the subconscious level lacks viable intelligence and temporality). To clarify, my conscious self is subliminally aware of being in the dream state, though my dream self is not (and does not even recall what a dream is), though my dream’s autosymbolism is still based on a value of “one” (OR gate). This is why there is a hole in the roof and why my dream self can see it through the ceiling (liminal space divider, that is, a neural pattern between dream self and conscious self).

      The cat is a precursory emergent consciousness factor (as a common liminal space denizen). My dream self is aware of its autosymbolism, which links a thread to my conscious self identity of which tries to reinduce and sustain the dream state by willing it to rain. (Even though in real life, rain coming into our home after the roof was torn off was obviously a negative event.)

    4. Mr. Bean’s Teddy Bear

      by , 02-19-2018 at 10:13 AM
      Morning of June 6, 2010. Sunday.

      I am in our living room at our present address. Over time, I become aware that someone else is present and had been in our kitchen and opening our refrigerator. It is near evening. I eventually notice that Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) had fallen asleep on our couch and is holding a teddy bear. I become very annoyed at the imposition but I do not do anything about it. (The couch is in the wrong orientation. It faces south instead of north.) After a short time, I consider that it may be someone only pretending to be Mr. Bean (though I remain uncertain), though I remain annoyed.

      Today (on Monday, 19 February 2018), I will compare and contrast this 2010 dream with “Abraham Lincoln’s Teddy Bear” from April 28, 2017.

      In MBTB, the couch was incorrectly facing south, facing the left side of our bed, though in the correct room (living room). In ALTB, the couch was incorrectly facing west, facing the foot of our bed, in the wrong room (westernmost area of kitchen, nearest our bed).

      In MBTB, there was no sense of bilocation. In ALTB, there was a bilocation essence as another house seemed integrated within ours (though not focused upon as such by my dream self and different from a typical composite setting) in addition to a feeling of being in two locations at the same time.

      In MBTB, the time seemed to be near evening (though I am near the end of my sleep cycle in reality). In ALTB, it seemed a few hours before dawn (though I am near the beginning of my sleep cycle in reality).

      In MBTB, I saw Rowan as an imposer (RAS “intrusion”). In ALTB, I did not see Lincoln as an imposer (RAS inactive).

      In MBTB, Rowan had been awake at first and was active in our kitchen (prior to me identifying him later on our couch). In ALTB, Lincoln was inactive the entire time, sleeping in an alternate version of our kitchen.

      In MBTB, Rowan was parallel to our orientation in bed, but in the opposite direction. In ALTB, Lincoln was perpendicular to our orientation.

      In MBTB, I have no lucidity, but there is viable current conscious self identity, though I mostly see Rowan as his fictional Mr. Bean character rather than as the real celebrity who plays him. In ALTB, I am semi-lucid but I do not remember that Lincoln is a deceased historical figure. My dream self partly perceives him as a living celebrity, though not that famous.

      In MBTB, Rowan holds his teddy bear. In ALTB, I pick up Lincoln’s teddy bear from the floor and feel I should give it to Lincoln, but I do not, as I do not want to disturb him. (Teddy bears apparently did not exist in Lincoln’s time.)

      In MBTB, Rowan seems to be wearing pajamas (residual memory of having fallen asleep). In ALTB, Lincoln is wearing a suit (not yet entering deep sleep).

      In MBTB, Rowan is on his left side. In ALTB, Lincoln is on his right side. (In each case, it was the opposite of the side I was sleeping on.)

      The room is much darker in ALTB than in MBTB.

      In both dreams, I chose not to wake them. In both dreams, they are facing our bed, Rowen (head east) and Lincoln (head north). Rowan is oriented to the right in my view (most often waking orientation) and Lincoln to the left in my view (most often induction orientation).

      I can easily and justifiably conclude, in understanding the nature of RAS mediation, that Rowan was seen as imposing because it was time for me to wake. (Some RAS mediation to modulation is based on environmental noise and that seemed to be the case here as it usually is in intruder dreams). I did not see Lincoln as imposing and did not want to wake him, as it was near the beginning of my sleep cycle. I even wanted to make his sleep more comfortable (though literally “did not want to wake him”). All of the contrasting factors in each case reveal autosymbolism for the biological nature of RAS mediation, not waking life symbolism.

    5. Explanatory Reference 003 (Liminal Space Autosymbolism)

      by , 02-18-2018 at 07:19 PM
      Morning of February 18, 2018. Sunday.

      Explain Liminal Space

      I use the term “liminal space” for the waking space autosymbolism of consciousness reascension. As a general rule, what is considered as liminal space in waking life is literally liminal space in the dream state.

      Explain Porch as Liminal Space

      Explain PALS

      Explain Carport as Liminal Space

      A porch is my most common liminal space autosymbolism. As such, RAS Modulation (dominant RAS Mediation) often integrates with this setting, typically intrusively (from my dream self’s viewpoint).

      Explain Parking Lot as Liminal Space

      Explain Car Park as Liminal Space

      An open parking lot is another form of consciousness reascension autosymbolism. It is a more open form of RAS Mediation and typically less aggressive than enclosed liminal space settings.

      Explain Beach as Liminal Space

      A beach as autosymbolism for the waking space is more sustained than other forms of transitional autosymbolism and less likely to have RAS Modulation.

      Explain Liminal Space Divider

      A Liminal Space Divider is autosymbolism that symbolizes the division between the transient dream self identity and the whole conscious self identity.

      Explain Wall as Liminal Space Divider

      A wall is the most obvious Liminal Space Divider. Still, RAS mediation sometimes uses a wall, which may also be open or crashed through in RAS modulation.

      Explain Television as Liminal Space Divider

      A television can be indicative of the incompleteness of consciousness reascension. I have actually used televisions for shifting into another type of dream, usually more vivid. In other words, a television is a door analogy (as well as a window analogy with dream state passivity), in both waking life and the dream state.

      Explain Window as Liminal Space Divider

      A window, when a more viable focus is present on one, relates to a potential shift in consciousness, not necessarily waking.

      The difference between a window and a doorway as a point of focus (not when just a dream state setting feature) relates to the level of viable conscious self identity present in the dream state. I have used windows as lucidity vivification, but believe me, I would not recommend it. In lucidly crawling through a window, although it did augment my dream, it was almost physically painful and with an intense sense of increased weight until I was on the other side of the wall.

      Explain Fence as Liminal Space Divider

      Explain Gate as Liminal Space Divider

      A fence as a Liminal Space Divider is sometimes directly based on the level of unconsciousness and the extent to which subliminal though viable conscious self identity threads are present. For example, a lower fence would indicate being closer to the true conscious self identity.

      Explain Mirror as Liminal Space Divider

      A mirror, curiously enough, seems to be the most transpersonal Liminal Space Divider. For example, I saw Zsuzsanna (in precise detail) as “my” reflection in a mirror before we met. Additionally, it may reflect everything from projected Vestibular System Personification (seeing my dream self as Quetzalcoatl for example) to sustained distortion of my fictional dream self. (In fact, I would not recommend looking in a mirror in certain levels of lucid dreaming unless you are familiar with the nature of the dream state, both lucid and non-lucid.)

      Explain Checkout as Dream Exit Point

      Explain Checkout as Liminal Space

      A checkout of a grocery store, library, or other business is a fairly obvious precursor to consciousness reascension. It also expresses a more subliminal (in non-lucid dreams) willingness or willfulness to leave the dream state without RAS Modulation.

      Explain Intersection as Neural Gating

      My dream may render an intersection feature at a specific level of unconsciousness. An Intersection is typically autosymbolism for the precursory nature of consciousness reascension, which means the choice of remaining in the dream state or waking.

      Technically, most Liminal Space Dividers can be utilized as Neural Gating.

      Other liminal space autosymbolism based on specific transitions include a ceiling (where my dream self is more subliminally aware of threads of conscious self identity in non-lucidity) and something from “around the corner” (such as an aggressive dog) when RAS Modulation is precursory.

      Explain Door as Apex Lucidity Trigger

      Explain Door as Lucidity Trigger

      Explain Door as Exit Point Autosymbolism

      Explain Doorway Waking Symbolism

      A door or doorway is the most obvious autosymbolism for the exit point of the dream state.

      I also often use a door to trigger apex lucidity, typically an old blue wooden door at the end of a hall, or a door from a porch in semi-lucidity. Sometimes though, I find extraordinary pleasure in sliding an entire wall over like a sliding door. This causes the highest level of vivification and augmented lucidity.

      This dream journal entry is specifically for search engines and website search functions.

      side notes
    6. Explanatory Reference 002 (Personifications and MISC)

      by , 02-18-2018 at 01:34 PM
      Morning of February 18, 2018. Sunday.

      Explain Subconscious Self

      Explain Personified Subconscious

      The dream self is the subconscious, though I mostly only use the term “personified subconscious” (though I confess that I do not like the word “subconscious” in general as virtually everyone in the world uses it incorrectly at one point or another). It certainly is not the conscious self identity and it cannot be the unconscious essence, as the unconscious has viable memory of which the dream state rarely reflects (at least in non-lucidity, but often in some forms of lucidity as well). As the subconscious band is just a dynamic filter, with no temporal cohesion or thinking skills, it is senseless to attribute intelligence to it as many people do (though most people actually mean ECF and unconscious mediation when using such examples).

      Explain Vestibular System Personification

      Explain VSP

      Vestibular System Personification is a result of biological RAS modulation. This occurs due to vestibular system ambiguity, which is the perceptual conflict caused by perceiving the imaginary dream body as in a different position or orientation as the real physical body. This is what causes falling dreams, but on a positive note, flying dreams.

      I do not usually include the dream self as personification of any unconscious factor other than the subconscious itself. Examples of VSP might be, seeing someone falling, seeing someone flying, watching someone in an elevator or climbing stairs, an airplane pilot, someone flying a kite, and so on. Other RAS dynamics might be involved depending on the dream and what stage of the dream and level of unconsciousness are relevant.

      Explain Personified Unconscious

      Explain Unconscious Personification

      Unconscious Personification is likely only to occur in induction and sustained stages of a dream, where it is eventually modulated by RAS or ECF out of biological necessity, including a need to use the toilet or to more viably discern the source of an environmental noise (especially an unexpected sound in the immediate environment).

      Explain RAS

      RAS stands for Reticular Activating System. It is not feasible to write it out each time, so I usually only use RAS. It is a part of the brain (reticular formation) that mediates between the ephemeral fictional dream self incarnation and its illusory perception and the conscious self identity.

      Explain RAS Mediation

      RAS is partially the foundation of consciousness reascension autoymbolism, which is what the majority of non-lucid dreams are in the final stages. However, without ECF, there would likely be what is known as a coma.

      Explain RAS Modulation

      RAS Modulation occurs when the dream self is too “stubborn” or “absent” (likely by threads of the conscious self identity that choose to remain dormant longer) to move into consciousness reascension on its own.

      Explain Preconscious Personification

      Explain Personified Preconscious

      The Personified Preconscious is typically the final and most dominant character in a dream other than the dream self, though may be paired with the emergent consciousness. It may chase the dreamer. It may intrude into the dreamer’s home. It may, in contrast, hug the dreamer into the coalescence stage (consciousness reascension). Conflict with the preconscious or RAS modulation is often unrelated to current waking life conflict other than incidentally. It is important to understand however, that conflict in a dream can be prescient either by transpersonal factors (natural or subliminal instinct) or self-fulfilling prophecy.

      Explain Emergent Consciousness

      Explain Emergent Consciousness Factor

      Explain Emergent Consciousness Personification

      Explain ECF

      Explain ECP

      Without the Emergent Consciousness Factor, RAS would not have enough to work with. Emergent Consciousness Factors can occur in dreams in many forms, including books (as only the conscious self can viably read, as writing or print often becomes nonsensical or changes upon a second glance in dreams), computers, flashlights, towers, candles, burning towers or belfries (ECF parallel autosymbolism), lightning (more specifically as neural energy though sometimes an indication of physical pain or numbness depending on the dream or dreamer) and so on.

      The hierarchy of the dream state, in my fifty years of experience are, unconscious, personified subconscious (dream self), preconscious, RAS, emergent consciousness, conscious self identity.

      This dream journal entry is specifically for search engines and website search functions.

      side notes
    7. Explanatory Reference 001 (Water-Based Autosymbolism)

      by , 02-18-2018 at 10:19 AM
      Afternoon of February 18, 2018. Sunday.

      Explain Water Induction

      Water Induction is my most common and natural form of entering the dream state (by which I sometimes hold my lucidity into the “stepping into” or summoning state and other times either willfully or spontaneously let go) and of which has occurred at least once during every sleeping period for over fifty years. This includes hypnagogic states from very light (still conscious) to the threshold of liminal space states (and losing continuity or coherence of the conscious self identity). Virtually countless commercial recordings of sounds of various types of water features, including waterfalls, streams, rivers, and the ocean, have been sold as relaxation and dreaming (including lucid dreaming) aids, though I have never needed to use them. Since childhood, I have typically started to see flashes of rivers, lakes, and waterfalls (in beautiful forests) upon becoming sleepy. Therefore, I can easily conclude that water symbolizes the dynamics of sleep and dream state induction, including nuances of muscle tension or relaxation. Additionally, I will hear the hypnagogic sound of flowing water upon becoming relaxed. If I am in sustained water induction, I will even hear what sounds like pebbles breaking the surface when an environmental noise occurs, even when the audio is slightly louder in an affirmation or musical sequence while wearing headphones. It is an intriguing effect of which has remained exactly the same all my life, from way back to when I was four and doing speaking and singing on an older brother’s reel-to-reel tape recorder. This “pebble breaking the surface of water” sound can be decoded as “external sound disrupting the specific level of sleep or internal focus”.

      Explain Water Reinduction

      Explain Water Vivification

      Water Reinduction can occur in a number of ways in both lucid and non-lucid dreams, including by another dream character, by subliminal will of the conscious self identity, by the dream self, or as an incidental factor. Being splashed by water always makes my dream much more vivid. The more water I feel upon my imaginary dream body, the more vivid and sustained my dream becomes, which additionally validates water as being autosymbolism for the dream state and sustaining it. This typifies it as a virtuous circle, whereby the water splashing also augments the tangibility of the water itself.

      Explain Water Lowering Waking Symbolism

      Explain WLWS

      Water Lowering Waking Symbolism is a form of autosymbolism for consciousness reascension. This means that, as a waterbody has shallower water over time within the dream state, it simply signifies becoming more conscious in the waking transition. This autosymbolism can be sustained longer than other forms, even throughout a longer dream. I first documented and studied Water Lowering Waking Symbolism at age four, while living at 901 Rose Street. There are several possible explanations for WLWS as well as a number of analogies. However, in my experience, I mostly view the circadian rhythms factor (in the third paragraph below) as the key explanation.

      Firstly, a person spends the first nine months of their life in the water of the womb (dreaming analogy) and, after the mother’s water breaks (water lowering analogy as the infant in the womb is no longer in fluid), they are are then born into the outside world (waking analogy).

      Secondly, it may be biological autosymbolism that signifies a need to resupply the body with water after waking. (Additionally, dreaming of a desert is typically biological autosymbolism for needing to drink more upon waking.)

      Thirdly, it may be related to a biological factor in relationship to the tidal systems of the world, though I have not seen enough evidence of literal correlation with tidal events. However, as with the moon and sun featuring in my dreams since early childhood, I have found a consistent correlation of autosymbolism for the specific level of unconsciousness I am in as also correlating with circadian rhythms. Thus, it may be “tidal” but related to the individual’s circadian rhythms and specific stage of sleep as some psychologists believe.

      Fourthly, there may also be an association with taking a relaxing bath. A person relaxes in the bathtub, and after getting out, the water drains. Thus, this could be a biological end marker for the dream state.

      Fifthly, biologically, it may also be autosymbolism influenced by the glymphatic system, of which apparently is a more recent discovery, where fluids in the brain increase upon falling asleep and then decrease after waking.

      “Water Induction” and “Water Lowering Waking Symbolism” are not inherently mutually inclusive.

      Explain Water Emergence Waking Symbolism

      Explain WEWS

      Water Emergence Waking Symbolism is a type of preconscious autosymbolism whereby a dream character (or other dream denizen such as a mammal, fish, alligator, and so on), typically a personification or other dynamic of RAS (though there may be additional dynamics), emerges from water at the final stages of the waking transition. For me, it is typically female, and has most often been Zsuzsanna (even with correct visual detail before we met in real life). This can occur with waterbodies such as the ocean, lakes, and rivers. WEWS may not be a positive experience, for example, it may be an alligator or skeletal figure, but this is more about the relationship the dreamer has with RAS and understanding the dynamics of the dream state. It also may relate to having slept for too long or a biological factor from a disruption of circadian rhythms. (Not enough sleep or too much sleep can cause negative autosymbolism in the dream state.) WEWS has often occurred with other autosymbolic waking events. The WEWS factor may even indicate the type of spontaneous muscular activity during the waking stage. Water emergence does not always imply the waking transition though.

      Explain Water Return Waking Symbolism

      Explain WRWS

      This is fairly rare (for me) and is of course the opposite of WEWS. This has only happened to me when I willfully pursued an unconscious personification (always female). I suspect it is at least a partial foundation of the mermaid myth.

      This dream journal entry is specifically for search engines and website search functions. As I am approaching 5,000 dream journal entries on some sites (yet which is nowhere near the number of dreams I have documented, studied, and validated the meaning of), I will be removing a lot of redundant dream journal content in the next few years in favor of clarity, conciseness, precision, and with minimal supplementation. Eventually, I will delete all other material of this nature, leaving only these “explain” references. However, I will include update entries (which I will delete later) of more concise changes I have made to original singular dream entries. Thank you for your support.

      Updated 02-18-2018 at 10:22 AM by 1390

      side notes
    8. Helicopter and Seagulls

      by , 02-17-2018 at 03:56 PM
      Morning of December 25, 2014. Thursday.

      I am on a helicopter seemingly in early evening, though before sunset, with unfamiliar people (including the pilot), apparently all adult males of around thirty (though I have no focus on my own age). We are flying over the ocean. I notice several girls swimming in the ocean far below. Without paying much attention to my present circumstances, a young girl is soon seen hanging in the doorway of the helicopter, to my right but only half inside, somehow having come from the ocean far below, apparently by flying. Her facial expression is cheerfully mischievous though friendly. At this point, I notice there is no pilot (of whom had originally been on my right), yet I feel only mild concern. However, two seagulls ahead, one on each side, somehow seem to be guiding the helicopter back to land by their presence alone. I assume the girl is a shape shifter whose natural form is a seagull.

      Water Induction - Vestibular System Personification, female (subliminal summoning of young version of Zsuzsanna) - Parallel Autosymbolism; RFWS (Return Flight Waking Symbolism) with WEWS (Water Emergence Waking Symbolism) - RAS truncation (pilot vanishing) - Vestibular System Mediation (soft waking) - Emergent Consciousness Factor as flight symbol - right-sided waking symbolism while sleeping on my left side.

    9. Talos and the Military

      by , 02-17-2018 at 02:43 PM
      Morning of December 25, 2017. Monday.

      I am with my wife Zsuzsanna in a white skiff of which is moving slowly over the beautiful ocean in late afternoon. She is facing me, seeming very cheerful, sitting at the opposite end of the skiff. Behind her, in the distance, I see a mountainous rocky cape. I vaguely anticipate the eventual appearance of Talos (the giant automaton made of bronze, from the 1963 “Jason and the Argonauts” film) from behind the rocky region ahead and on my right, closest to our heading. Becoming semi-lucid and recognizing this as the RAS factor with no attempt to modulate it, I decide to will the skiff to turn right, into a narrow estuary bordered by high hills, with the idea that Talos will not see us. Eventually, the water is shallower and we slowly pass, on our right, two military jeeps with about seven men in total. At first, I am wary of them, as I suspect they have weapons, but then I decide that they must be here to fight Talos and are not interested in us. The general impassively watches us as our skiff approaches an area too shallow to continue, but there is no sense of threat and they remain in their positions.

      Water Induction - Subliminal summoning of Zsuzsanna with sensual associations - anticipated RAS Mediation as possible threat - RAS Modulation Precursor as Talos, though Talos is only seen briefly in the distance - Semi-Lucid Mediation (no lucid modulation), Partial Conscious Self Identity Intercession - WLWS (Water Lowering Waking Symbolism) - Preconscious Transmutation to Emergent Consciousness Factor as army general - right-side-oriented waking symbolism while sleeping on my left side.

    10. Adventures through the RAS Gate

      by , 02-16-2018 at 01:27 PM
      Afternoon of February 16, 2018. Friday.

      This is a compilation entry, though simplified, based on many key dreams which designate a door or doorway as neural gating of a specific type, typically under the subconscious self’s choice in both non-lucid events to apex lucidity (though in apex lucidity, the true conscious self identity is far more extant and viable). A door as rendered in either a non-lucid dream or lucid dream has always solely served as either the exit point of the dream state or, in some cases, to augment and stabilize the precursor to apex lucidity. Note that the summary for each dream does not reflect the entire dream.

      Dogpile, from February 19, 1972. I had entered apex lucidity (in my final dream of this date) with my dream rendering the correct time; early morning after sunrise. I see the bony remains of a dead dog halfway between the railroad tracks and the edge of our backyard. I notice that a smaller dog seems to be guarding the remains. The dog (of which is facing me, though at a distance) soon notices me and begins to growl menacingly. The ghost of the other dog rises up from the bones and seems to pose a threat as well. They both run toward me. My position had been the easternmost end of the Cubitis carport. I deliberately run and jump through the doorway of the Cubitis house to wake myself.

      Both RAS and the emergent consciousness factor “chase” me into consciousness. As my lucid dream self, I recognize this common autosymbolic event and its meaning while still in the dream state but I do not attempt to contest it. Instead, I choose to find a doorway to jump through to purposely leave the dream state. I manage to jump and fall halfway through the doorway, anticipating the sensation of the dogs biting my heels (anticipating the common hypnopompic kick as a result), though there is no sense of pain in liminal space. RAS was often rendered as an aggressive dog of which challenged my will to control the dream state as a child. This is based on two factors, my dream potentially “obeying” my lucid dream self’s will and a dog being the closest analogy to that, and the RAS factor being influenced by having seen “The Hound of the Baskervilles” (1959 version) a few times, which designated a dog as being an attack factor. (I had no fear or concern of dogs in waking life, as much of what occurs in a dream is based on the dream state itself in its autosymbolic transitions, not waking life unless prescient or “received” from loved ones.)

      The emergent consciousness factor as the ghost dog, as divided from RAS, is based on known dynamics. The remains were where we had bonfires in real life, thus designate the recurring Phoenix Factor as symbolizing re-emergence into full consciousness via biological RAS gating. Additionally, it appeared as a ghost due to the dream self identity not being the complete conscious self identity.

      Catlike Shadow Creature and Shopping, from September 10, 2016. A non-lucid but vivid sequence features a cat shadow as my emergent consciousness precursor (not a waking factor of which the common checkout autosymbolism was eventually rendered as the waking transition in this dream). Upon approaching it, it leaps impossibly into the top of the closed door and somehow slides through the narrow gap between door and door frame. The Shadow is my conscious self identity. As the conscious self identity cannot exist within unconsciousness, it has often been rendered as either a cat or shadow (or in this case, both) in my dreams since early childhood. As such, it is a liminal space denizen for several reasons. One, it is associated with “always landing on its feet” relating to the falling sensation that occurs as a result of vestibular system ambiguity, a biological factor of the waking transition. Two, its being associated with sitting on a fence, a fence as autosymbolism for liminal space division (between dream self and conscious self). Thirdly, a cat by popular myth “having nine lives”, is like the Phoenix Factor of returning to whole consciousness. There is an additional very curious factor which had been influenced by the ending scene of “The Flintstones”, which I am even aware of in this particular dream in the specific movement of the cat creature. This is where Fred picks up the sabretooth cat, puts it outside, and the cat goes back in through the window and then puts Fred out. There have been a number of endings of various television shows that were borrowed for RAS mediation (typically only as dream state end markers and waking precursors or at least transitions of levels of unconsciousness).

      The Old Shack, from August 24, 1970. As with Dogpile, I use a virtual doorway to deliberately “escape” the dream state. In this case, threatening flight as a vestibular system ambiguity dynamic, a pterodactyl, chases me across a field. As I dive through the “doorway”, in this case the ruins of an outdoor rose trellis linked to an old fence on each side, I see the pterodactyl that I was concerned about turn back into a sparrow, as it falls upside-down from the sky. In this case, I perceived my emergent consciousness (the shadow on the ground, of which the pterodactyl cast) as somewhat ominous, a viewpoint that rarely occurs as an adult due to having learned so much about the dream state.

      Ocean Beyond the Doorway (with Kenneth Hill), from February 9, 1975. In this dream, I want to find my “dream girl” (the precognitive form of Zsuzsanna long before we met in reality). My dream ends with me standing on Kenneth’s left. (RAS usually modulates from the right side of my dream self in dream self to conscious self mediation due to me sleeping on my left side with my right side more exposed to my real environment). I sadly tell Kenneth that “It didn’t work” when opening a fictional door in the Cubitis hallway (west side) and seeing the ocean in afternoon light. Although the ocean also represents the transpersonal nature of unconsciousness, in this case, it was also a rendering of the fact that Zsuzsanna lived across the ocean from me in real life at the time. There were a number of other dreams where I was “blocked” by the ocean. The ocean usually only occurs in my last dream of a sleeping period (due to it also representing circadian rhythms dynamics and the nature of sleep in relationship to consciousness as an analogy to the tidal factors of the world), whereas lakes and rivers occur in all stages of sleep until water lowering waking symbolism becomes a key factor.

      Batwing Doors, from October 22, 2017. In this dream’s final scene, Zsuzsanna is eventually standing directly behind fancy batwing doors. The doorway waking symbolism included the RAS hybrid factor of vestibular system associations (“return flight”, a factor of over one in five of my dreams).

      A door as the potential exit point of a dream (in fact, the main symbol for this precursory event) differs only slightly from the fence feature. That can be seen in the following dream:

      Through the Fence, from April 17, 2014. In this dream, I move between a narrow gap in the high wooden fence (in our present backyard or what resembles it) as if it was a door. A group of Aboriginal Australian girls move from near the front of their house, coming to talk to me (perhaps because I am seen by them as trespassing). The final scene involves an older Aboriginal female of about seventy, with white hair, asking me if I have seen her husband. In this case, the RAS gating is rather curious. I suspect that I was “seeing” a much older version of Zsuzsanna, though rendered as an unknown RAS character, especially as she asks where her husband is, though it may also be seen as random transpersonal communication with someone else’s unconsciousness.

      Three Keys and the “Unfair Advantage”, from March 22, 2014. In this dream, I effortlessly transformed into a snake and back again, in other words, taking on the essence of RAS itself (very rare other than in apex lucidity at times). I eventually deliberately vivify my dream by opening a door; a large and difficult old wooden blue door, to such an extent that the vividness of the scene I stepped into seemed realistic beyond belief, even for me. It almost seemed as if I entered Alexander Siddig’s unconsciousness (though of course, unlike with Zsuzsanna, there is no way to validate this event). There have been other dreams with this implication.

      In a dream I had shortly after my brother-in-law Bob’s mother died, I found myself approaching a door. I willed it open and was looking into an unfamiliar room. After time passed, I became aware that I might be intruding upon someone else’s privacy. Bob’s mother is sitting in an armchair, talking with her husband, who had also died. She approached the door while looking annoyed and slammed it in my face. (I had rarely ever even seen her in real life and this was my only dream of her.)

      There are thousands of other dreams in which RAS mediation as a doorway scenario was a key factor of the waking precursor. Sometimes there is audio, including the knocking on a door or a door closing, depending upon which level of unconsciousness I am entering or leaving.

      side notes
    11. The Gift of Rain and the Inexplicable Nature of RAS

      by , 02-16-2018 at 09:29 AM
      Morning of February 16, 2018. Friday.

      In my dream, the most vivid scenario of the waking transition involves my dream self (personified subconscious) being on a bus with my wife Zsuzsanna and our youngest children. I remain in a passive and thankful mood. The location is unknown. It does not seem familiar, though the bus driver is on the left side, so it seems to be implied to be in America (though I have not lived there since 1994 and Zsuzsanna has never been there).

      The bus driver is an unknown chubby female of whom reminds me of my crossing guard from when I lived at 901 Rose Street (near the intersection in a second floor apartment of a building which is no longer there).

      It seems to be late morning, though the perceived time seems to change a few times (of which is very common in my dreams, as my subconscious self has no viable sense of time or continuity). There is an intersection up ahead. I am aware that it had been raining. An interesting mood develops. I realize that rain makes human life possible and that without it, the world would have no life. I have a vague awareness that the bus driver had telepathically caused me to realize this.

      There had been a flood in one part of the street (from the rain), but the water has lowered. As we near the intersection, I have the typical focus on whether or not the bus driver is competent (this being a long-term carryover from waking life thought since childhood, though this thought does not dominate or seem problematic and I ultimately trust the driver to get us home safely).

      The bus stops, but we are apparently not at our destination yet (though my dream self has no focus on where I presently live as is often the case). The bus is on the right side of the street, its back close to the perpendicular street it just turned from. The bus driver says, “I have to find something”. I am standing in the front stairwell of the bus watching her. She puts her hands down into the murky water near the curb. Soon, she pulls out a small tennis racket that is slightly muddy (though with very light-colored tan sand). I am uncertain if this is what she had been looking for, but she gives it to my youngest son. My dream fades from here.

      Zsuzsanna, in real life, had been looking at, and thinking about, small tennis rackets made for dolls while at a Kmart store on the previous day (Our Generation dolls and accessories). There is no explicable way I could have known this or for it to influence the main event in my final dream of the sleeping period. Not only this, she said her thought processes were “stronger” than usual during this event. Additionally, after my dream, she told me of how she had won a tennis racket at age twelve by reaching into water and pulling out a toy duck (relating to a matching number for the prize at a Brisbane show). This is not unusual in my experience, as at least one dream per sleeping period is based on something Zsuzsanna had thought about (or said to someone else) of which I could not have possibly known about. This was validated to have been going on, continuously, long before we met, and additionally, Zsuzsanna is the “mystery girl” who had been in my dreams since childhood (and of whom I even saw in my dreams as an adult while she was still very young).

      The scenario of this dream, a bus approaching an intersection and stopping or bumping into a curb before turning right (sometimes in the event of water lowering waking symbolism as here), has recurred since early childhood, though always with different dynamics. This is based on neural gating. It signifies whether or not the dream state will terminate or continue. (However, there are also inexplicable dynamics of which I will describe below.) As here, the bus turns right and my dream soon ends after the RAS to emergent consciousness factor, additionally validated by the water lowering waking symbolism, which occurs in at least one dream during every sleeping period (water symbolizing sleep in autosymbolism, its dynamics relevant to the specific aspect of REM).

      RAS as the personified preconscious is a bus driver here. The biological function of RAS (Reticular Activating System) is for sleep-wake transitions (though again, there are inexplicable dynamics). This is why a dream is primarily autosymbolic of the dream state and waking transition itself, which is why “interpretation” as most commonly propagated is not a real concept despite the Barnum effect.

      There is evidence that the side the bus driver is on in a dream correlates with what side I am sleeping on, especially as buses and cars often symbolize (or are an autosymbolic extension of) the human body. (This is also true for boats, airplanes, and trains when vestibular system ambiguity is more extant in REM. In fact, there has even been a dream where a bus I was on rolled over after I rolled over to sleep on my opposite side. However, the content of a dream must be looked at closely, as autosymbolism is based on the specific level of unconsciousness and varies from state to state through the waking transition.)

      I know that RAS mediation and modulation as a dream’s final event, when it utilizes personification as the preconscious as here, is often transpersonal (inherently unrelated to both the dream self and the conscious self by its very nature and purpose, as its purpose is to ignite enough emotion to trigger waking, including by way of dominance or perceived conflict, real or not, though some of this “conflict” is caused by muscle tension in unconsciousness as well as vestibular system ambiguity or subliminal concern over unknown environmental noise). This tells me that RAS is not simply the biological factor of the neural gating of the dream state in REM, but transpersonal neural gating that also occurs when I am conscious. However, the dynamics are puzzling. Sometimes these events have happened in real time (during my nap while Zsuzsanna was elsewhere and “sending” in real time) and sometimes based on recent thoughts that Zsuzsanna had held in her mind but which later integrates into my dream.

    12. Reptiles and Amphibians

      by , 02-10-2018 at 10:35 AM
      Morning of February 10, 2018. Saturday.

      These segments come from the last two hours or so of sleep, of which there are usually a dozen or more segments, not counting the circadian rhythms autosymbolism of which I rarely document anymore, as it is usually of the same imagery or implication (other than at 07 here).

      04. Zsuzsanna is in our bed, apparently sleeping, though it is on a beach. Ocean waves are rolling in, but not as a threat, more like associations with the healing nature of sleep (as water is autosymbolism for the dream state itself).

      05. Three unknown girls are together, seemingly sharing one drink (in one glass) but they eventually start shifting identities and appearance too fast to really acknowledge with stable dream self focus, about one per second, which is usually an apex lucidity trigger. In this case, I feel that one may be meant to represent Zsuzsanna. However, upon approach, they are all mannequins, which is RAS autosymbolism from the dream self not having a real physical body, the same as with dolls and robots when rendered as such.

      06. I am watching a gondola, trying to decide if I want to be in it, vaguely remembering the autosymbolism for going to another level of unconsciousness (and water reinduction).

      07. I am standing at a window (perceived as our bedroom window), undressed, in semidarkness, looking through rattan blinds. I vaguely consider, in only partial lucidity, that this is “wrong”, without fully realizing that our bed’s head is adjacent to the window in reality (thus no place for me to stand), and that we no longer have the blinds after they were destroyed in the November storm that had torn the roof from our house. I have long believed that, other than prescient threads, dreams typically render everything wrongly so as the perceptions do not become a part of viable unconscious memory as in contrast to faux RAS-based memory, which is specifically used in RAS mediation (neural gating) for sleep-wake transitions. This is in contrast to all the people who write about the “subconscious”, of which nearly all that is written is based on incorrect beliefs or popular superstition.

      11. I am somehow able to see my feet and legs through my bed sheet, which is transparent. Oddly, even though I had been lucid moments before, I am trying to assign this to a real-life featue. Meanwhile, I “remember” that Zsuzsanna is sitting on a beach, waiting for a healing ritual in sleep paralysis. (A beach is a liminal space transition between different levels of unconsciousness and is used as such in mastership meditation.)

      12. I seem to be in Cubitis, and if so, it is likely implied to be a backroad between my old rural home and where I went to school in town. I watch a tortoise as it crosses the road, from my side to the opposite side (west to east). Eventually, four small flames emerge from the tortoise’s shell, one from where each leg had retracted. Apparently, it becomes a miniature version of Gamera (the otherwise giant flying turtle-like monster or kaiju from a series of Japanese films). (This is apparently a carryover from a dream of February 3, where a flame comes from each bottom corner of each boxcar that flies in the air. The association seems to be that, as turtles can symbolize the dream self as being asleep in reality, a boxcar is also a setting where people sleep, such as homeless people in transition. I had not made that obvious connection on February 3.) I look back to see tidal pools and recognize this as water lowering waking symbolism in addition to the return flight waking symbolism (most common form due to ambiguous vestibular system dynamics naturally triggered by being unconscious in REM.)

      13. In my most vivid waking transition, I am in the backyard at Stadcor Street in Brisbane (Wavell Heights), where we have not lived in years. The backyard is bigger and the house is implied to be more north of a much wider side yard area at the south. There are also several trees throughout the backyard, of which were never there in reality. It seems to be early morning and is still somewhat dark out but clear enough to see most detail. I sense the waking alert factor (WAF) of RAS mediation (though in false lucidity, not active), but I wish to explore more. However, RAS will have none of that. A large cane toad is present as RAS. It becomes a pest. Vestibular system ambiguity becomes more dominant and the toad swells up like a puffer fish and moves through the air as if manipulated by a varying wind (but not very realistic, as it moves through the air too slowly to be a factor of wind). At one point, as it slowly randomly blows about in the air, yet I just happen to be in its path, the cane toad’s mouth makes contact with my hand. I continuously remain wary of it, and maintain focus on its parotoid glands, though I notice there is minimal bufotoxin already on its body. It is quite silly really; a puffed-up cane toad being carried about by a nearly non-existent wind and tapping against my arms or hands at times as if it was based on magnetism or as a metaphor of slowed film footage. (I guess it is better than being “surprised” by the core WAF as a vivid rendering of a snake, of which apes and even lemurs probably dream about a lot as well.) I eventually wake.

    13. February 9 2018 Transitions

      by , 02-09-2018 at 01:22 PM
      Morning of February 9, 2018. Friday.

      Today marks my 24th year in Australia and in being with the girl of my dreams, Zsuzsanna.

      I am going to try something new here. As I still have tens of thousands of dreams I have never posted online, including thousands from before I was even a teenager, I might try entries that include sequences of specific types in a series of no more than 12 for a specific part of the sleep cycle. Although I usually recall at least six longer dreams per normal sleeping time, there are many more of different but basic types that are mostly autosymbolic of the transitions between different times during sleep and of which I usually just pass through without drama. I am going to try this to see how it goes, randomly selecting dates, after this one, from over the last fifty years to see how the autosymbolic content has remained unchanged for the most part and perhaps note influences when I can. In some cases, I might include a very short summary of a dream I had already posted if it falls into the sequence of a certain dream type and time. The dreams are listed in reverse order, last one first. (Missing numbers are either related to private sections, abstract stages that cannot be described in words, or too long to post online.) (To quote the Yo-Yo man, “Try to remember everything you passed. But when you go back, make the first thing the last.”)

      12th There is one farmer working in a rice paddy. The water is lower when I look again later. (My dream self vaguely recognizes this as autosymbolism for the cessation of the dream state, water lowering waking symbolism, which has been as such since early childhood, having occurred as such through thousands of my dreams.) I do not speak to him but recognize the essence as RAS (personified preconscious). I eventually become aware that RAS has transmuted from a Filipino rice farmer into a Caucasian cowboy. He stands before a fence (my side), which is the division between dream self identity and conscious self identity, and I walk past him through an open part of the fence to wake. I do not speak to him, he nods, and I nod back. RAS mediation as utilizing a fence is less common than porches and doorways, or even parking lots, but does occur on a regular basis. RAS is typically more dominant or even aggressive when a porch is rendered as the waking space, probably because it implies that my dream self wants to remain “inside” for longer (that is, not wanting to wake yet).

      11th I am walking over a large high truss bridge (unknown location) over water. I do not see any traffic. A bridge is autosymbolism for a transition in unconsciousness and the water lowers to become the rice paddy scene of the next segment.

      08th I am walking through a circular tunnel, which I first consider, with a level of wariness, that it is the Large Hadron Collider. Still, it is mostly a featureless silver tunnel. I eventually consider it as just a transition between different levels of unconsciousness after briefly wondering if it is the inside of an airplane with no contents (including no seats or flat floor). There is sometimes a very vague sense of wariness when walking or sliding down through tunnels, not exactly claustrophobia (as I do not have this in waking life), just some sort of unusual level of awareness triggered by semi-lucidity. This is not usually the case with hallways of which are the same basic autosymbolism (dream state transition), though less transpersonal.

      05th I usually have one dream per sleeping period that is either prescient or of another inexplicable factor. I am in the backyard of our present home and there is some sort of distorted event related to five cats in a large rectangular container full of dirt of which may be a plant pot. I get the impression they are not alive, being half-buried in the dirt, but the feature seems unusual. The cats are not fully grown. There is an odd impression that they might not be “real” cats, for example, a perception of thread instead of cat hair, and an odd sort of composition, and even separated “parts” of cats (though still five in total). After waking, Zsuzsanna had shown me an older cross-stitch she had done (of which she had taken out of a rectangular plastic box this morning, with no way of me knowing that she would be doing this). There were five cats on the item, with different coats, but each of the same appearance and sequence as each from my dream, though she had related the cross-stitch as being prescient of our final number of children and the ratio of girls to boys (based on the appearance of the cat’s coat as certain coats are only common to certain sexes, such as most gingers being male and most tortoiseshells being female). This does not mean there is any symbolic connection to my dream (that is, of the cats being linked to our children), as prescience and shared dreaming is often mixed in with other factors. The symbolism still validates the prescient connection, the cats being in a rectangular box, not being “alive”, and of an unusual appearance of thread (cross-stitch thread) mixed with hair.

      02nd I mentally light a candle to see where I am (unrelated to the apnea events I experience very rarely, which is like mentally trying to will a candle flame back into existence with the fear it has gone out) and it is a small copper-walled room without much space. There is a focus on having recently taken the vocal out of David Essex’s “For Emily, Wherever I may find her”. “What a dream I had. Pressed in organdie. Clothed in crinoline…of smoky Burgundy. Softer than the rain.” Solely the isolated vocal plays from a gramophone, with an eerie echo. Sometimes when I strip the vocal out of a track in real life, it takes on a very unique quality, especially when I add certain kinds of reverb. I was thinking of using the isolated vocal in a new dub track I had already started (not for commercial purposes of course).

      00 Induction stage. I walk down steps with the intention of going deeper into the dream state. They are outdoor concrete stairs in an area near buildings of which are covered with vines. When I was very young, I learned to manipulate levels of unconsciousness by going up or down stairs in dreams (in both lucid and non-lucid situations, as I have recognized dream symbolism for so long, I was manipulating it at six years of age - which eventually became non-lucid habit), which is autosymbolism for traversing the specific level of unconsciousness (and is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation). Outdoor stairs are sometimes modeled after the ones in Veterans Memorial Campground in West Salem (Wisconsin), where I sometimes spent time as a young boy.

    14. Marrying an Aztec Goddess

      by , 02-08-2018 at 02:00 PM
      Morning of February 3, 2018. Saturday.

      This dream has some beautiful imagery, but mostly ends up being a sequence of sensual scenarios with Zsuzsanna, who turns out to be the “Aztec Goddess”. This dream is of a type I experience through most sleeping periods but do not post online unless there is something unique or surreal as in this case in the last segment. It is mostly a result of extensive lovemaking that carries over into the dream state (Tetris effect), though with intensified tangibility and an enhanced sense of touch.

      It starts with some sort of tomb being seen, which apparently emerged from the ground. A supposed Aztec priest is present at one point and talks about the return of this female. Over time, the events kind of meander and Zsuzsanna ends up with me, much to the annoyance of the Aztec male, who just stands around looking confused. It almost seems like a television studio set at one point, or a set of bleachers where the audience directs their attention toward him.

      After sessions of marvelous enhanced tangibility with Zsuzsanna in her unusual but beautiful Aztec outfit, as we are together on a mattress on the floor (common no-brainer dream state indicator) in a television studio or whatever it is, not caring about the several people walking about near us, my dream enters the waking transition. It turns out to be the common return flight waking symbolism, but in this case, it is somewhat surreal. In the distance, as it seems I am inside and outside at the same time (very common dream perception for me since early childhood), I see a few boxcars lift into the air with a flame at each corner. They slowly rotate and then fly into the sky. Even though I am not fully lucid, I recognize this as an end marker of the dream state and almost expect to see ending credits rolling.

      This may be a vague influence from the ending scene of “Back to the Future Part III”, but even so, I probably would have eventually dreamt this anyway, as I have dreamt every bizarre variation of flight symbolism imaginable, all because my inner ears, by nature’s inherent design, do not correctly detect if I am standing up and conscious, as my dream self sometimes falsely perceives, or, in reality, lying down in unconsciousness. Still, the fact that it was of similar context as an ending scene from a movie ties in with it likely being an additional marker as such, which is moot, as I already have an understanding of dream state components (though in all likelihood, nature itself probably does not “discern” this or that I understand perception at this level, so it renders what waking autosymbolism it will).

      dream fragment
    15. Role Reversal in Reinduction (with Ian Somerhalder)

      by , 02-07-2018 at 08:27 AM
      Morning of February 7, 2018. Wednesday.

      In my dream, I am sitting at a small round metal table that is implied to be at an outdoor restaurant. However, it is actually the backyard of my present home, though my dream self does not perceive it as such. It seems to be early afternoon. There is an unknown male of about thirty years old who is sitting across from me. I am ready to eat what I think is a hamburger.

      The other male looks on as another male approaches the area behind me. He seems to be a young Asian of about twenty. He places an object of about the shape and size of a cupcake on the pavement. It has another feature in the center that looks like a vertically oriented drinking staw. The other male tells him that he is really rude and implies that he is up to something.

      Looking at it, my head turned around to my right trying to discern what it might be, I am somewhat wary, wondering if it is some sort of small explosive, not as a threat, but something that will just make a loud noise. The Asian male goes back to sit with at least two other people to the right of the back of my house (which my dream self does not yet recognize as such). Soon, water (or what seems to be water) starts spraying directly upward from the feature that resembles a drinking straw. It makes a soft fizzing sound.

      I turn back around to get ready to eat, but the back left leg of my chair seems to have vanished or melted as a result of the unknown object and the “water” that came out. I feel my body almost fall to the ground but I am able to stand up in time. I am very annoyed. I go to where the young male is. I find a thin hardcover book and start hitting him on both sides of his head very hard. He eventually seems very dazed and is mostly on the ground on his left side. I do not want to kill him, so I eventually stop.

      I walk to the back door of my house with only a vague realization of where I am. Ian Somerhalder (the actor) is sitting on the steps (right side when facing the back of the house from the backyard).

      I say, “I did not want to be too violent, I just wanted to get the message across.”

      Ian says, “Yes, you used just the right amount of physical strength and force.” I am aware on one level that I am making him say what I want as if I had total control. (This is a recurring dream factor, where I somehow know I am dreaming and controlling what the characters say, yet not with a viable memory of the dream state or active lucidity.) I turn to go into my house at the subliminal call of the waking prompt.

      This dream uses the same basic waking autosymbolism as always, but the roles are curiously different. I recognize the variant of the mechanism, as it has happened often before.

      Doorway waking symbolism is rendered as my dream’s exit point (a doorway symbolizing a shift in the level of unconsciousness, in this case, fully waking).

      In this case, the preconscious (Ian Somerhalder) is passive and under the control of my emergent consciousness in liminal space, somewhat different than the typical non-lucid RAS mediation, though he is still by the doorway during the transition.

      The unusual form of an attempt at water reinduction softened the hypnopompic kick which atypically did not wake me with a start but of which I was aware of in the dream state. I (subliminally) decided to wake myself anyway.

      It was my dream self (personified subconscious) that tried to bring the personified unconscious out of the dream state by hitting him with a book (an emergent consciousness factor which has been recognized as such since early childhood, as only the conscious self can feasibly read and understand large amounts of text, as in the dream state, it is typically unstable and often changes when attempting to read the same text the second time). The final position of the personified unconscious as I had been striking him matched my sleeping position exactly. I typically do not dominate RAS mediation other than in dreams of the first part of the sleeping period or in apex lucidity, based on my awareness of the dream state (whether or not I am lucid, as there is always a factor which seems to indicate dream awareness at one level or another) and whether I want to wake or not.

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