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    1. Fishing with Zsuzsanna and a Rescue

      by , 04-27-2019 at 10:27 AM
      Morning of April 27, 2019. Saturday.

      Dream #: 19,122-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



      Water induction and the Naiad/Oceanid factor changes into a fishing scenario. Despite the former process beginning at least one dream each sleep cycle for over 50 years, the continuity and outcome are always unique.

      Zsuzsanna and I are sitting on the shore of a lake, though it seems to stem from associations with El Jobean, which is near the ocean and the area where I fished as a boy, close to the bridge. It seems to be afternoon.

      Two unknown men are present. One of them is cheerfully fishing. The other, the preconscious simulacrum of this dream, is sitting on our right. There is a brief, vague concern that someone might throw something from the bridge high above us, but no one does. (It is subliminal anticipation of vestibular cortex activity, which is a common dream perception.) I soon attach the hook to the end of my line, and I also put the reel on the rod. At first, I snag a sunfish carcass (on its dorsal fin) floating on its left side (as analogous to my sleeping orientation) on the lake’s surface. The preconscious is holding a pair of scissors. I am wary, as I think he intends to take them while claiming someone lost them. Looking down, I see another pair of scissors that is nearly the same and belongs with the other. There are small rust marks on the handles of each. I comment on how similar they are and pick up the pair on the ground. I take the other scissors from the simulacrum (with no protest on his part, which is atypical in RAS mediation, especially as the scissors indicate potential separation from the dream state) and put both pair in the tackle box.

      I verbalize loud, sarcastic remarks about people sitting near people who are fishing. He soon leaves (thus allowing me to sustain my dream). So does the other male, though it is getting later and is almost too dark to see. I ask Zsuzsanna if fishing at night is allowed and it seems that it is. (This process, regarding nightfall with enhanced awareness, is sometimes indicative of the return to slow-wave sleep, but I maintain my dream state awareness without direct lucidity.)

      I do not have live bait and consider digging in the ground with my hands, but I find a live worm with at least two hooks through it in a small paper bag that someone left behind. I think it is artificial before it starts moving. I attach the rig to my line.

      When I cast, I accidentally snag a cluster of plants halfway across the lake’s distance from our side. I see an unknown woman off to the left near her car on our side. She had also cast. I find the situation somewhat amusing but not that frustrating, especially when it seems I had also hooked a big fish. However, it turns out that she is reeling the line from her end, causing the little island to move toward her.

      I hook onto something big. Upon reeling it in, I see that I have snagged a seal, with the hook in its bottom lip. “It’s a seal,” I loudly say. The woman and I agree that I should take the hook out and release it, which I do.

      When I cast again, the hook ends up near the woman’s car. She decides to leave but ends up falling in the lake almost up to her neck. She swims out, gets into her car, and it accidentally backs up into the lake, sinking completely.

      I dive into the lake. I swim to the end of the lake to the right of my original location, underwater (being able to breathe underwater as in all my dreams since early childhood). The woman is sleeping in a small dry cave underwater, as the water remains as an impossible “wall” at its entrance. I maneuver into the cave through the “wall,” without disrupting the impossible vertical water barrier. I ask the woman if she needs me to rescue her. She shakes her head and shivers slightly, with her eyes moving as if in REM sleep. I ask her again, and she nods.

      My feet push against the water “wall,” and water starts to flood the cave, but I wake around this time. I see that Zsuzsanna is sleeping in the same position as the woman had been.



      This dream renders the same processes as usual, but also unique as always and very vivid and enjoyable.


      Updated 04-27-2019 at 05:50 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. Not Lucid But Mediating Every Dreaming Process Anyway

      by , 03-19-2019 at 10:57 AM
      Morning of March 19, 2019. Tuesday.

      Dream #: 19,083-04. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



      This incredible dream sequence is long but with the longer second part offset from a vivid foundation where I eventually mediate and viably control several common REM sleep processes understood since early childhood, atypically in the same dream, yet with no emerging awareness that I am dreaming at any time.



      Sky mediation integrated with window (liminal space division) mediation (which is a form of concurrent environmental monitoring with subliminal RAS/cortex gating):

      In the beginning, I am indulging in atypical sky mediation (from indoors rather than outdoors) without viable lucidity. I am in the lounge room of the Stadcor Street house (incorrectly recalled as my present home) and standing near the front windows. This anticipation is low-key. I do not focus on “something coming down from above” as in many past dreams, but I am subliminally manipulating the amount of light and color in the sky. At the same time, I am vaguely aware of an “invisible” video superimposed over one area on the windows, but I focus only on the sky beyond. I consider, without emotion, if the sky represents the “end of the world” (analogous to the “end of the dream state”). Many colors are present, but red and yellow dominates. I gaze at this process for several minutes.

      Identity mediation integrated with doorway mediation (as sustaining the dream state) as well as subliminal dream state awareness (the presence of the beds).

      I find myself in the King Street mansion in the second floor’s middle room of the east side. I have a false memory of the landlady having changed the way she rents rooms. She now has it so that two people have to occupy each apartment, each paying twenty dollars a week instead of one tenant paying that amount. My false recall is ambiguous, but I consider that she has done this to make up for me having lived there without paying rent for so long. Leonard is sharing the apartment with me. I walk across the hall and see a young platinum blond male in his room near the right side of his bed. He is unsure of who he wants as a flatmate. I suggest my friend Rick (saying his full name) but then consider that Rick might be too old to live with this person and state as such to him. (This does not make much sense, as I perceive Rick as being about twenty years old, even though in reality he is in his fifties as I am.)

      I have several different types of keys, one a skeleton key that I joke about with Rick, to determine which one works with the door of my room. There are little keys as well as more obvious house keys. I eventually find the correct one. Rick now seems to have taken Leonard’s place.

      From here, I go downstairs (transitional vestibular system correlation). The landlady seems cheerful. Two unknown people stand in the unlit foyer talking to her. I hear the woman say her name, and her last name is the same as mine. I comment on this as I leave the house.

      It is now daytime. It turns out that the woman, now a young girl, is my niece. I walk atop a fence (linear vestibular system correlation and mediation of liminal and enigmatic space), and she becomes the vestibular system simulacrum (personification of vestibular system adaptation). She continuously cheerfully talks to me about how I should walk atop it, regarding balance and distance of steps, which now becomes a series of fences. She is usually on one parallel to the one atop which I am walking. I now get the impression that we are walking to school (relearning emerging identity and subliminal cortex awareness).

      Two nieces and two nephews (on my father’s side) are present, though they are much younger than they should be. After becoming aware of this scenario without full current conscious self identity, I walk down the sidewalk near the front of an unknown house where two of my nephews are standing. The oldest is talking about how much fun he had surfing recently (a result of reinduction processing which does not continue). I tell him that I saw him surfing in a photograph as if to validate his experience (which seems like a false memory) and he seems puzzled by this as I consider I may be mistaken. The process fails (water not moving, melatonin flow stopping, similar to water lowering waking autosymbolism), and I then meander around the unfamiliar neighborhood until I wake.


      Tags: fence, keys, sky
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. A Plastic Model Limousine

      by , 02-13-2019 at 05:38 AM
      Morning of February 12, 2019. Tuesday.

      Dream #: 19,048-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



      I become aware of being in the Cubitis living room (last seen in 1978). There is the erroneous factor of Marilyn (a deceased half-sister on my mother’s side) living here. She appears as she was in the 1960s. On the west side of the living room is a tall chest of drawers. I am unaware of my parents.

      I am recording something from television by way of a wired connection and monitoring the sound with headphones. Somehow, a plastic 1:24 scale model kit of a Limousine is connected as well, though there is difficulty in making sure the audio is loud enough. My orientation is unusual and illogical as I seem to be working on the top of the chest of drawers, but it does not make any physical sense. There is also a blanket atop it.

      Eventually, I notice that the model is incomplete. There are several small parts, which may be optional. There is a part of a V8 engine and other pieces. One piece resembles a small tooth but falls behind the chest of drawers.

      Before waking, I lift the hood, and instead of an engine, there is a little double bed.



      Beds often appear (sometimes in unusual locations) in the last part of a dream as a subliminal, liminal, or concurrent awareness of being in REM sleep. A car, or any vehicle, usually represents the illusory perception of my dream self’s fictitious body, though in some cases as here, it also correlates with the association of being in bed.


    4. A Strange Arcade Game

      by , 01-26-2019 at 08:12 AM
      Morning of January 26, 2019. Saturday.

      Dream #: 19,031-02. Reading time: 50 sec.



      I find myself in an unfamiliar arcade with minimal lighting, unaware of my conscious self identity. I am at a table and become involved in playing a game, without a backbox, that has the appearance of two side-by-side pinball shooter lanes and little else.

      I push buttons and press the palms of my hands against the front edge of the table. My actions result in one to four balls rolling back and forth in the lanes, knocking against each other. Sometimes there is only one ball on one side. Most of them are like a slightly oversized pinball, but there are also white plastic balls with hardly any weight to them.

      I remain unsure of what the purpose of this game is, but I seem to be doing well, as I keep balls moving in the lanes. I do not see a score indicator. Other people watch me play at times.

      The table has four metal legs. However, there is a short time when the table is on the floor (without legs), and I am playing the game while seated cross-legged on the floor. Curiously, I pay no attention to this error in my dream’s continuity, but it is probably a subliminal dream state indicator that I am not standing in reality.


      Tags: arcade, game, pinball
      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. Arrival

      by , 01-24-2019 at 07:19 AM
      Morning of January 22, 2019. Tuesday.

      Dream #: 19,027-05. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



      This entry describes a vivid dream from an early evening nap, which typically renders rapidly processed vestibular system correlation, most often something or someone falling or coming down from above as in this case, though still inherited in some cases and not always with a so-called sleep start.



      In my dream, I remain aware of being in the dream state, but I do not attempt to mediate any of the processes. It seems to be in the afternoon. I watch a black double-decker bus slowly come down from the sky and land in the middle of the street in an unknown location. (It comes straight down from above. There is no forward movement.) I do not see any wheels, but otherwise, it has no unusual features. However, it is implied to be an alien spacecraft despite the “aliens” appearing as human teenagers that fill the bus. (There are no thoughts about a driver or any defined backstory.)

      An unknown girl comes from the back, from the top section, and emerges through the main entrance on the side facing me. A crowd of people slowly approach her. The bus is facing to my right, implying left-hand drive, so it is erroneous if intending a UK or Australian setting.



      Waking autosymbolism is usually oriented to the right when sleeping on my left side. Bus dreams are usually linear vestibular system correlation and inherited, not transitional and projected as here, though again, this is a nap dream. I am assuming the emergence simulacrum represents Zsuzsanna.


      Updated 01-25-2019 at 06:55 AM by 1390

      Categories
      lucid
    6. Lucid Dreaming Silliness

      by , 01-23-2019 at 06:13 AM
      Morning of January 23, 2019. Wednesday.

      Dream #: 19,028-02, 19,028-03. Reading time: 2 min 54 sec.



      I am listening to my music with headphones. I listen to the same (fictitious) track twice in a row. It is about three minutes in length. I notice how soft the snare sounds (with no attack, that is, as soft as an organ). There is a lead synth that almost forms words and phrases, the last phrase sounding like “dance with me,” the overall effect seemingly caused by modulation. (Otherwise, it is like a reed organ with a precisely controlled wah effect.)

      The setting seems to be the Cubitis house (unseen since 1978), though I do recall that I am married and have children. I start to wonder where my second-youngest son is. I know that Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children went to the library. I walk around calling his name, but there is no response. Finally, I hear my oldest son (from behind his door) say that he is in his (my oldest son’s) room. He had been playing a computer game.

      Although my oldest son looks somewhat like himself (though nothing is rendered correctly in dreams to prevent false associations with waking life other than with interconsciousness threads), my second-youngest son has a “face” like coin-operated binoculars. It takes a few seconds to realize this oddity. “Oh, I am dreaming,” I explain to them. I describe how I know I am dreaming because of his face, mostly noting how his eyes could not be as such in real life. From here, I walk back into the lounge room, which is now more like our present home.

      There is a vague sense of wariness even though I am aware I am dreaming due to an unusual sound to the north. I consider it might be an airplane that might crash near or onto our house (which would be autosymbolism of the waking process concerning vestibular dynamics similar to a typical falling start). That is not the case. I watch various lights and shadowy forms move past the windows (which are factors of liminal space division between dream self and conscious self). I soon wake briefly, but again enter sleep.

      I again start to look for my second-youngest son. I try to open a door, but he pushes it back, and I realize I am dreaming. The house is a distortion of the Cubitis house but changes to our present home in a short time.

      I go out to our front yard. (There is no fence as in waking life.) It is nighttime even though I am aware it is daylight in reality. There are still strange sounds coming from the north. Three unfamiliar people walk toward me, continuing south. I consider that I should talk to them because they may hold threads of the interconsciousness and have something informative to say. Their appearances are unrealistic. Their faces do not look like possible human faces but are also not threatening or eerie. I focus on talking to one unfamiliar man. The sounds to the north are coming from a (fictitious) train station. He does not make much sense. He says something about espionage regarding the trains. They continue on their way.

      I walk east down our street, but the houses are not as in waking life. I summon Zsuzsanna for a love-making session. I use the porch factor to enhance my dream. When I turn about to continue east, I come to a fictitious open area where there are elevated train tracks above a mostly featureless field. There is a false memory regarding something about the man I talked to mentioning that the “king of light” was near here. My dream is extraordinarily vivid at this point.

      A young Sam Neill walks by, with his usual questionable smile, and I suspect he is the preconscious simulacrum showing up to wake me. Several additional men walking from the north, though all unfamiliar, also enter the open area. Sam Neill and the other men are all seemingly railroad workers. I ask them some questions about where I am and if there is something I need to know. They do not say anything of interest.

      As suspected, they all walk toward me to shake me into vestibular system correlation (or to coalesce) to reinitiate my consciousness. Instead, I wave my hand, and all the men go flying back through the air before getting close enough. After effortlessly doing this several times, I decide to wake on my own.


    7. Low Flying Jet and Front Yard Public Parking

      by , 01-20-2019 at 05:35 PM
      Morning of January 20, 2019. Sunday.

      Dream #: 19,025-03. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      My conscious self identity is absent. I am unsure of my implied age, but I am back in Cubitis where I have not lived since 1978. I remain in my bedroom. It seems to be late morning.

      A gray military jet flies over the house from north to south. Its flight path is so low that I can see the details of its underside. However, my viewing of it would not have been possible in reality, as I would not have been able to see its path above the roof of the carport let alone through the north windows of my room from a distance. (Only orange trees and not much sky would have been visible.) There is likely the common but indirect x-ray vision perception in dream space. For a short time, there is also the vague awareness of windows to the south (a fictitious feature). This event happens a second time. I have no recall of my parents or their passing or my current life.

      Later, I look out the west windows. There are several random vehicles parked north of the house, moved from their original locations, possibly because of roadwork and perhaps the construction of commercial buildings. (The area is more like part of a city rather than being rural as it was in real life.) The work seems to be occurring quickly, because when I look out the window again, our front yard has a line of vehicles oriented from northwest to southeast, ending close to where the windows of the southwest bedroom would have been. It is ridiculously intrusive, but I do not feel stress.

      The first vehicle (closest to Highway Seventeen) is a white semi-trailer truck with its trailer, facing away from the house.

      A blue USA mail van is one of the vehicles closest to the house (though the closest one remains unseen), facing towards it. There are several other vehicles, mostly commercial, though there is a dune buggy near the mail van as well as a cement mixing truck. I notice that the front yard is completely paved over (as with a parking lot) rather than being a lawn. Although this seems curious and unfamiliar, I do not question anything. I anticipate that the trucks will probably soon no longer be present. In a short time, the work will continue south, and the front yard will likely be lawn again as well.



      Vestibular system correlation is not inherited here but projected, as my infra-self remains passive. The jet flies over my bedroom twice, but the process does not match my illusory state of awareness, resulting in the manifestation of enigmatic space rendering as a parking lot, displaying how my physical body does not move as I sleep.

      The mail van is possibly a factor of the interconsciousness, yet may also only (or additionally) represent communication between my dream self and conscious self identity as showing me my body is “parked” in bed. (I am in bed in my dream looking out my windows.)


      Categories
      non-lucid
    8. Trading Card Discovery

      by , 01-20-2019 at 05:30 PM
      Morning of January 20, 2019. Sunday.

      Dream #: 19,025-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



      I find myself with a magazine. I am looking at a two-page spread that features Marvel trading cards in what may be a 5 x 5 layout on each page. (The size orientation varies. At one point, the imagery seems miniature.)

      Zsuzsanna is with me. The location is unfamiliar but implied to be our present home.

      After looking at the pages, I briefly watch a scene from a movie on television. Tigra appears. There is a distortion, and now there is a female character who seems to be implied to be in a costume with snow leopard attributes.

      While again looking at the pages, I feel their surface, suspecting that a real card may be over the image of one and “hidden,” blending in with the layout. I discover that there is a card taped over an image. (They do not match.) It is in the middle of the top row on the left-hand page. It is taped only at the top, facing down.

      I carefully peel the top of the trading card from the adhesive tape. I do not want to tear the surface.

      Before I see its number, Zsuzsanna informs me that card number 17 is the only one we are missing. The new card turns out to be number 17.



      My dream self (in subliminal space, in so-called non-lucid mode) exhibits control by creating something “real” out of an image based on expectation. That happens often. People who promote that lucidity is a requirement for dream control have no credibility.


      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. North Korea Meeting (with Zsuzsanna)

      by , 01-19-2019 at 12:38 PM
      Morning of January 19, 2019. Saturday.

      Dream #: 19,024-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      Many years of viable memory dissolve in my conscious self’s annihilation in the dream state as access to my unconscious mind is blocked by the preconscious to allow for rejuvenation in sleep. However, in eventually entering REM sleep, I do recall Zsuzsanna and her essence, though my dream implies we had not yet met (even though we have been married for over 20 years in reality).

      There is a backstory that we are to meet and possibly marry in North Korea. For a time, I am confused. Maybe it is meant to be South Korea. However, the main focus is on North Korea, and the map seems to imply an area near Singye County.

      Throughout my dream, I remain hesitant about going to North Korea. There are thoughts based on distortions of content from the American drama series “Colony” that we watched last night (though my dream self does not perceive the legitimate source), the second two episodes of the first season (“A Brave New World,” and “98 Seconds”).

      In my dream, I live in America, although there is no further definition of what region. I do not recall or consider the existence of Australia or that I have lived here for over 20 years, and I do not perceive Zsuzsanna as a lifetime resident of Australia.

      It seems that many tourists visit North Korea without problems, but there are rules. I read brochures about how tourists are expected to act.

      Eventually, I enter the [inherited non-linear vestibular system correlation] process of this dream. I board an airplane (a supposed jet airliner), though the layout is more like a bus, where the pilot, an unfamiliar man of about 30, sits in front of me. There are vivid and pleasant sensations of movement as the airplane taxis down the runway and rises into the afternoon sky. The pilot seems cheerful and confident.

      To my right, across the aisle and also at the front are two unfamiliar women in their thirties who start talking about misadventures with cockroaches. The pilot patiently asks them to stop talking, saying that it is breaking his concentration, though there is no feeling of imminent danger. I slowly and softly wake from this point. There is a stage where I hear his voice and feel the imaginary movements of the airplane, but there is no imagery.



      The pilot is the vestibular system simulacrum. The unknown females are factors of the interconsciousness. While the raw preconscious (and sometimes the interconsciousness) often dominates or “intrudes,” it does not typically do so in this type of process because I am closer to the subliminal anticipation of consciousness reinitiation and willing to re-establish the legitimate physicality of waking life. In some instances, the vestibular system avatar works against the dreamer, including when interconsciousness threads are present, while in other cases it works against interconsciousness threads as it does here. The determining cause seems to be ultradian rhythm as well as the incidental level of passivity in contrast to any willful intent of unhealthily sustaining sleep.


      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. A Different View of my Cubitis Home

      by , 01-17-2019 at 12:59 PM
      Morning of January 17, 2019. Thursday.

      Dream #: 19,022-02. Reading time: 1 min 50 sec.



      An unclear backstory forms as I become vaguely aware of my imaginary dream state existence. Zsuzsanna is with me. We go into the house that was south of my Cubitis home. Unfamiliar people are presently moving into that house. Lisa had moved out recently, but there is no legitimate focus on her or our past. Zsuzsanna and I walk around inside the house.

      Walking through all the rooms (even though this is an imposition, as the others are moving in), we eventually come to a doorway that leads to the outdoor staircase that comes out from the north side of the northeast corner of the house. I dwell on focusing on the backyard of my Cubitis home. It seems to be the afternoon. I am cheerful and consider that I have not ever looked at my home from this specific viewpoint, at least in a very long time, that is, from the top of the stairs of the neighbors’ house.

      I continue to feel a sense of well-being and soon wake.



      Valid threads: This dream’s only correct thread is that my infra-self maintains a realization of my marriage to Zsuzsanna.

      Invalid or missing threads: I have no threads of recall of where Zsuzsanna and I ever lived since my time in Australia and no discernment of the fact that she has never been to America. Lisa’s house in my dream was nothing like it was in waking life and she and her parents moved in 1975, three years before I moved to Wisconsin. It was only one story and had no staircase (though a staircase represents the opportunity to vivify the dream or return to sleep or to initiate conscious awareness of the dream state). I also have no recall that she had a younger sister (though this recall is almost always missing).

      Dreaming and waking processes: [inherited transitional vestibular system correlation] Curiously, I act as if I am functionally aware I am dreaming by maintaining the staircase factor and even focusing on the nuances, yet I am not lucid. (I call this “faux lucidity.”) I do not descend the stairs, and as a result, my dream does not vivify or continue with consciousness integration. The King Street mansion is typically used for this (often deliberately when I am already semi-aware), though in rare cases, Rose Street is. (I have not lived there since I was six years of age. It is when I first used staircase reinduction).



      Today, on Twitter, another poster had a dream with identical processes (and intent) with a slightly different outcome: (LINK). Experiencing the same autosymbolic dream state processes as other posters (especially on Twitter) happens continuously, but I do not usually point it out, especially when it is such a common factor as in this case.


      Updated 01-18-2019 at 04:02 AM by 1390

      Tags: staircase
      Categories
      non-lucid
    11. Manned Satellite

      by , 01-16-2019 at 07:16 AM
      Morning of January 13, 2019. Sunday.

      Dream #: 19,018-02. Reading time: 1 min 35 sec.



      I am uncertain of the backstory, but I go up in a manned satellite with three unfamiliar men who are all close to twenty years of age. One man is more to my left, one to my right, and one in front of me. All face away from me.

      We are in orbit around Earth. I have concerns at times, as there does not seem to be a roof above us. The men on the left and right have small shields in front of them, though they do not fully cover the area. The man in front of me sits before a window that also does not encompass the satellite’s walls.

      I consider that there may be a force field around our craft so that we are not exposed to outer space, though this remains unknown. I also think that the satellite is incomplete but will be complete soon.

      I notice an irregular hole on the left side of the window. Its shape is like the letter “Z,” though backward and tilted to the left. It is about a foot and a half in height. I can discern the edges of the glass, which seems at least an inch thick. I do not feel much concern about it or make any mention of what would logically be a problem. (A force field, if present, would cover the hole.) My conscious self identity is not extant, and there is no emotion. I wonder if I should give instructions to any of the men, but I do not say anything.

      Eventually, I notice that we are only a short distance above a forest. I think it is unusual and wonder how we are floating as such and what is going on, though I do not say anything.



      Outer space dreams are not very common, though this one is a form of [inherited transitional vestibular system correlation].

      This imaginary scene is strange on one level because of the three simulacra. I am assuming they correlate with the three sleeping positions I enter, back and left and right sides, though I sleep mostly on my left. Typically there is only one vestibular system simulacrum to represent the return to correlation with legitimate physicality (in contrast to the fictitious body of the dream state), but this heat makes me restless at times. Being closer to Earth is being closer to returning to waking life.


      Categories
      non-lucid
    12. Big Yellow Caterpillar

      by , 01-15-2019 at 07:32 AM
      Morning of January 14, 2019. Monday.

      Dream #: 19,019-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      Zsuzsanna and I are on the back porch of our present home on W Street seemingly before dawn though there is enough light to discern images. My perception is extraordinarily vivid though I am not aware I am dreaming. She is to my left (our sleeping orientation). We are sitting and facing south toward our backyard. There is a big table (that does not exist in reality) that fills most of the space of our porch to the right of the back door (when facing the back of our house).

      I notice two features, both of which are yellow and black and about two feet apart, their heads facing toward the backyard. The closest to me looks like a soft toy. It is an elongated bee. The other one has a similar appearance but changes over time. I ask Zsuzsanna if it is an animal.

      “That’s just fuzz,” she says.

      Making an effort to discern the farthest feature more clearly, I see it is a big yellow and black caterpillar as long as my forearm and with long hairs. I gaze at it in wonder and soon realize I am dreaming, but I eventually wake without attempting to take control.



      One of the only statements I have ever read in any public source that held any truth regarding dreams is: “Similarly, he (Herbert Silberer) has shown that the conclusions of some dreams or some divisions in their content merely signify the dreamer’s own perception of his sleeping and waking.” (This is one of the only factors of dreams with established validity.) It goes on to say, “in persons who are gifted philosophically and accustomed to introspection it may become very evident.” (It was evident to me when I was very young, yet many people never realize it and consequently, pursue “interpretation.”)

      This dream renders the same processes in the same order as tens of thousands of previous examples since early childhood (and it is very similar in content to many others) but holds the interconsciousness thread that features Zsuzsanna, an additional emerging consciousness precursor. “That’s just fuzz” means I am not yet fully discerning enigmatic space (and aware I am dreaming). Porches are “bridges” in enigmatic space and represent liminal space in waking life as being a “bridge” between one’s house and the outside.

      The final emerging consciousness factor is the big yellow caterpillar. It correlates with vestibular system dynamics. Yellow is only discernible in a dream in becoming more aware of my dream self and simultaneously closer to my conscious self identity. A caterpillar is a precursor to flight as a butterfly. The bee is a soft toy here (a pillow association and thus a dream state indicator). Bees typically represent the increased neural activity of the waking process.

      The soft toy and the caterpillar are dual autosymbolism. (Dreams are not symbolic in the conventional sense.) They are on my left because they are precursors rather than active anticipation of the process. (I most often sleep on my left side.)


    13. Conquering the Dream State

      by , 01-14-2019 at 09:27 AM
      Morning of January 14, 2019. Monday.

      Dream #: 19,019-02. Reading time: 3 min 40 sec.



      Most threads of the awareness of my identity remain in entering sleep, though my perception of what house I am in changes. I look at a knotty pine wall. It would be the north wall of the Cubitis living room (in Florida, not seen in real life since 1978), though I erroneously consider it as the north wall of the northeast bedroom of the Loomis Street house (in Wisconsin, unseen in real life since 1994), which it becomes later. Instead of correctly seeing this segment as a dream, I see it as an opportunity to enter the dream state consciously. I focus on separating the imaginary wall from the “real” version (which is also imaginary). There is double vision for a short time. A pack of cigarettes is somehow stuck sideways on the wall, from its back. I pull one out to the left from it with my hands that I can feel but not see, considering my invisible hands as my link to the dream state. It is working well as I hold my discernment. (I do not smoke in real life.) I can vividly feel the texture of the surfaces with my invisible hands.

      Later, I am in my fictitious body in the northeast bedroom of the Loomis Street house. A sheet is in a lump on the bed, but I summon Zsuzsanna from beneath it. We indulge in lovemaking twice. After the second session, I absentmindedly decide she will become a vampire, but the transformation only lasts for about two seconds before the essence of the scenario returns to normal.

      The preconscious manifests as an unknown male and seems to want me to leave the dream state. He sings a sarcastic song that includes obscenities and talks about what my encounter might symbolize.

      “Dreams don’t have symbols as meaning anything in waking life, you stupid STUPID f—!” I say as loudly as I can. I continue to affirm my knowledge that dreams stem from dreaming processes and my perception of being asleep and are concurrent events that result from being in the dream state. “This is not my real body,” I say, “I am not conscious, I am asleep, and this is not my house. It is a dream, so SHUT UP and stop comparing it with real life, you idiot!”

      The preconscious simulacrum sits on the window sill and looks sad and defeated (atypically passive behavior for reticular activating system personification), and my dream becomes astoundingly vivid as a result. I go to the porch to enhance my awareness even more. Using the porch to solidify the “bridge” of enigmatic space as I have done many times in past dreams, my dream becomes so vivid that I marvel at the detail and three-dimensionality. I decide to make fun of people who talk about “reality checks,” making my right hand claw-like and smashing my fingers against the front wall of the porch to the right of its door. It is as solid as a rock at this level of dream state awareness. “Reality checks are re-tar-da-tion,” I tap with each syllable, feeling very amused and satisfied.

      As I stand on the north side of the porch, I watch my brother-in-law Bob walk out from inside his house, probably going out to his car. Marilyn (deceased in real life) also eventually walks out after him. I recall that she had died in real life. I talk to her briefly.

      I look out at the street and suburban neighborhood. It seems to be late morning. “Oh, it’s all so beautiful,” I scream as loudly as I can. “You’re beautiful,” I scream at the sky. “You’re beautiful,” I scream at the bumpy, shiny surface of the street. “It’s beautiful,” I yell at least ten times. I continue to marvel at the detail. The more I scream, and the more emotion I use, the more vivid my dream becomes and the more it stabilizes. I look around in astonishment. There is an incredible sense of peace, security, and well-being.

      I eventually choose to step outside from the porch door (a technique I have used since childhood), and my dream vivifies again. I cross the street and indulge in lovemaking with Zsuzsanna (from behind) for the third time as she leans forward against a wooden fence (not a real-life feature but a thread that divides enigmatic space). Other people are standing around.

      Natural melatonin mediation becomes an emerging thread. As a result, I notice a shallow pond on my left in someone’s front yard. Vestibular system correlation begins to initialize, creating a line of cars approaching from my right, curiously on the big front lawns of the neighboring houses rather than the street. In an absentminded reinduction thread, the first car, about two-thirds the size of a real one, flies through the air and crashes into the pond. I find it very amusing and anticipate the next one. Bob and Marilyn and a few other people look on. The second car flies through the air and crashes into the pond.

      The second car rises vertically from the pond and walks toward me, its underside facing me. “C'mon, you need to wake up now, your body’s gotta p-ss,” it says in a hoarse electronic voice. It grows stubby metal arms in an attempt to beat me up. I swing my right fist around at it and effortlessly knock it back into the pond.

      Even so, I move my right leg over the bottom horizontal bar of the wooden fence to wake myself instantly.


      Categories
      lucid
    14. Death of a Starfish

      by , 01-11-2019 at 08:15 AM
      Morning of January 11, 2019. Friday.

      Dream #: 19,016-02. Reading time: 40 sec.



      I am at a dinner party with unfamiliar people in a dimly lit room, seemingly at night. I had been aware of being in the dream state, but I choose to become passive to the scenario.

      There is a glass of cola to my right. Before I consider drinking any, my right hand becomes a starfish. It squirms and detaches from my arm, spurting cola from several holes. It tips the glass over and dies.

      Even though I am aware I am dreaming, I briefly consider what I will do without a right hand. There is only a slight surprise (no emotion), but I choose to pull myself out of the scenario to enter another.



      Message: Don’t drink cola. (I gave up cola as a habit about two years ago. It is not worth the health risk and I cannot believe how stupid I have been in that department, and for the record, in addition to having an awful taste making them pointless to drink, diet drinks are much worse.)


      Categories
      lucid
    15. A Dozen Mice in Our Bed

      by , 01-06-2019 at 08:02 AM
      Morning of January 6, 2019. Sunday.

      Dream #: 19,011-02. Reading time: 40 sec.



      I am in our bed in darkness at our present address, and it seems to be in the same orientation and location (but the space around me feels different).

      Under my right hand, I vividly feel a dozen mice squirming around. (I had fallen asleep on my back, which does not occur very often.) I try to keep them in the area near my right hip, as there is concern about one of our cats getting to them. (I sense a cat on the left side of our bed.) My sense of touch is enhanced. The surface area is also enlarged, making both the palm of my hand and the mice seem at least four times bigger.

      There is brief “conversation” with Zsuzsanna and our youngest son (both on my left, our son near the foot of our bed), though I perceive the phrases by thought rather than hear the sound.



      I typically only have dreams with no imagery but with enhanced touch when sleeping on my back.


      Tags: in bed, mice, touch
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