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    False Awakening

    1. Helicopter Landing (resolved flight waking transition)

      by , 04-06-2016 at 10:06 AM

      Morning of April 6, 2016. Wednesday.



      In my dream, there is a vague awareness of something in our ceiling where we presently live on W Street; perhaps two bicycles, or perhaps (eventually, relating to a shift) only two bicycle wheels. It is almost abstract and hard for me to discern in my shifting levels of awareness.

      Soon, I am carried “back” to my bed by a very small helicopter that is gray and almost transparent. It actually is not even big enough to have carried me if this had been implied to be a real event. I am slightly puzzled as it flies off through the ceiling (as if passing through it like a “ghost”) without causing any damage either coming in or going out. The word “phasing” comes to mind as I am aware that is what happened.

      Even after recording and decoding dream after dream for about fifty years, I still continue to be intrigued by the seemingly countless ways the waking transition is rendered in metaphor, this being a component of “resolved flight” (as in contrast to “failed flight” or simply “falling”). The most natural transition from a dream is simply the falling experience (and coalescence is probably second). Over time, because of the development of so-called civilization, dreams became more and more complex. What used to be just falling has now developed into thousands of variations, using flight symbols of various types and other associations, even the altered perspective of watching something else flying or falling near the waking stage, from airplanes to kites to penguins out of their environment (a hybrid symbol of the “failed flight” component) to meteors to even flying snakes and flying saucers. In addition, other forms of “displacement” and waking are often rendered, from going up or down staircases or in elevators, skiing, climbing, and so on, and sometimes with very unusual combinations.

      Here, there is also the implied liminal space of something above the ceiling (between sleeping and waking); a bicycle, which is also a type of flight symbol as clearly explained in other entries. A helicopter is an obvious flight symbol and has particular associations as do all flight symbols including symbols that have wings but do not fly. A helicopter’s rotor is analogous to a tornado (essence of the Source and higher consciousness) due to its spinning motion and as a result, can be linked to the Merkaba as a “vehicle” to higher levels of awareness. Here though, the helicopter is greatly downsized, gray, and almost transparent (and even a bit sketchy). My dream was not very vivid. Still, I did not “fall”, but was “returned” to my bed by this curious little vehicle, the “middleman” in this case.
    2. Lucid Within Lucid

      by , 07-14-2015 at 01:14 PM
      Morning of July 14, 2015. Tuesday.



      Instead of my first dream of the night being sensual and lucid as usual (probably due to the so-called Tetris effect regarding actual lovemaking), they have remained so for a couple days throughout and as such, have not much of a plot otherwise. Still, one has enough additional detail to perhaps post online as it involves one of those common (to me) imagery-based events that seem very familiar, even nostalgic, yet completely fictional.

      Yet again, I am back in my (implied) teenage years in Cubitis. The bed is aligned east to west along the northeast corner against the outer carport door (that door being perpendicular to the main entrance into the living room), which is where it was during the height of unexplainable clearer dreams associated with my wife-to-be before we met.

      There is another presence in the room other than Zsuzsanna and I on the west side, supposedly also with a bed in the room; an unknown female, though who leaves in a short time without saying or doing anything other than a straight walk out the door from my room (without acknowledging us), though it does not seem that much of a privacy issue even though it seems possible she may return (though she does not). After an extensive level of intimacy with augmented touch with Zsuzsanna, and even though it is semi-dark, I find myself looking at some sort of “impossible” Warren-like comic magazine/“computer” composite in the same location on my bed (it is not much like an ipad - but more like a normal magazine though with computerized pages), though which transforms into solely a comic magazine after a short time, though mostly in color. Firstly, there is a black-and-white splash page that shows a scene similar to art from near the end of the “Heavy Metal” movie (from 1981) with a female riding a winged creature. There is some sort of ambiguity that implies more imagery can somehow be inserted into the page into any white space with some sort of software routine. Although I contemplate this idea, I do not use it or see any options to do what is implied (or any context menu showing additional art to be inserted wherever - the ground below the winged creature is mostly white and featureless, implying that perhaps figures or buildings can be inserted as well as perhaps something else in the sky).

      It soon gets more and more “familiar” (as if I had read through the fictional magazine numerous times in the past) as I turn the pages. There is a page that is somewhat like “Wizards” movie scenes (from 1977) in a typical Bodē-like three-by-three vertically narrow nine panel layout. Eventually, I am looking at what seems to be a very unlikely but “familiar” Vaughn Bodē Erotica comic, yet featuring Disney’s Magica De Spell. She appears to be standing (on the right side of each panel) and engaged in conversation with another female “duck” over most of the nine panels. The art becomes so vivid and detailed (and focused with full clarity upon), I partially forget I am dreaming and start to reflect on the intense “familiarity” of this book. It seems, though, that each page is only a “demo” (or sample) of various other magazines and I do not quite recall if I have all or some of the full copies elsewhere. (Magica De Spell was actually one of the first cartoon characters that appeared in dreams from age four, though only in two-dimensional still images and not really that often). This of course distracts me from my lucidity, though I do eventually shift into other sensual scenes without any comic imagery. I even enter a lucid “false awakening” (which is fairly rare) as if I am more lucid in coming out of another lucid dream. (Typically, concerning non-lucid dreams, my false awakenings are almost always far less vivid than the previous dream, though real movies that use this trick imply the opposite. The fact they are less vivid at least with me, is probably one reason why they “work” as a false awakening in the first place - with less reasoning skills available than the previous main dream.)

      Updated 12-06-2015 at 08:47 AM by 1390

      Categories
      false awakening , lucid
    3. An Old Classmate is Speaking

      by , 06-30-2015 at 09:09 PM
      Morning of June 30, 2015. Tuesday.



      This is one of those odd but generic dreams with mostly only louder audio over a seemingly long time period, though I do have my eyes open at some points in both my main dream and in my false awakenings. It has several false awakenings as well as real partial awakenings where I hear my wife’s breathing (which seems to somehow be creating the other voice at times), though it is only barely audible. Although I would classify it as a typical environmentally-influenced dream, the change in sound in-dream in contrast to the actual audio (as well as its volume) is rather bizarre. This has also sometimes happened when I fell asleep during a television broadcast (as well as with music) and, although the sound sometimes sounded the same in-dream, it sometimes changed in dramatic ways. (Similar to having one-second dreams every few minutes while in semi-sleep while watching television, sometimes which are mostly like the real image, sometimes which are completely different, often having a grid or thin lines or even briefly glowing “asterisks” in some parts).

      In my dream, I continuously hear an old classmate (Bobby S) speaking to me (which is strange, as I have not heard his voice since 1976). I am not sure if it is by telephone or directly near me, but I do not see him, so I assume we are having a long telephone conversation. (Unlike similar dreams of this nature, the sound comes from the environment rather than the ear that is on my pillow.) He does say “good morning” at first. I do not recall most of what else was said or spoken about and he does most of the talking (sometimes even seeming to answer me when I do not perceive myself as speaking). Though we were not that friendly in reality (even having a brief fist fight in high school), he sounds very friendly in my dream. Every now and then, either a false awakening or a temporary partial awakening comes about randomly. I do not seem to be cognizant of sleep paralysis - which I assume (only in conscious afterthought) that I must be in to be so “grounded” in my actual bed next to Zsuzsanna as a continuous (and undistorted) setting. However, there are none of the pleasant feelings and augmented “conscious-self-as-dream-maker” awareness as with sleep paralysis.
      Tags: speaking, talking
      Categories
      false awakening
    4. Trek and Abstract

      by , 02-04-2015 at 10:16 AM
      Morning of February 4, 2015. Wednesday.



      I keep moving in and out of sleep over a couple hours but stay in the same general dream environment and level of consciousness. At one point I open my eyes and watch an animation of a hand-drawn red and blue daisy on the wall above the real telephone (red and blue alternating petals). I do not try to shake it off as the hypnopompic stage it is - I am not getting out of bed yet anyway. It wiggles insect-like at times, and wavy lines “swim” out from it on the wall in all directions (one “jumping” over the phone chord), as the daisy drawing breaks up into its individual smaller lines. I look near the ceiling on the wall in the room to my left. High on the wall is a series of handwritten years (each about four inches high); 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and so on, in a column, alternating in red and blue writing for each year (for example one year written in blue, the next down in red, the next down in blue, and so on), about seven or eight dates. I am not sure of the relevance.

      Over time, I keep turning to either my left or ride side (typically alternating in seemingly “precisely timed” stages) taking care not to bump my sleeping wife and making sure it is done at the right time relating to the “proofreading” system I sometimes indulge in. My task is to read through someone else’s writing - three or four paragraphs, I think; I am not sure of the content anymore. The “paragraphs” are an orange fluffy ball hanging in the air (lit from the inside as if in photographic negative), about four feet up and to the right of the bed. I have to move my essence up and down through it to “download” the English writing. I have to “read” and “reread” this orange-fluffy-ball and mentally correct any spelling errors. It gets rather boring at times…It is almost like a featureless porcupine fish rendered in the wrong area, though it is not close enough to my sleeping body to be that annoying.

      At one point, I am lying on a porch at an unknown residence. I am lying there mentally reading through a newspaper that is lying open near where I am, no need to turn the pages - I read it in a dream within my dream. This is not the right newspaper, though; I am actually looking for a CD that came with a particular newspaper, something relating to animal sounds made by students in a special project - I see the advertisement for it being in another newspaper. The front door opens and an older frail man looks out at me, seemingly annoyed at first, but then he offers me a place to sleep, but then I tell him I am okay where I am. He apparently sees me as a homeless teen.

      A new “Star Trek” (original series) episode is being filmed in the large parking lot of a shopping mall in La Crosse (near the old Quillin’s IGA area). I am within the story itself at first, as if it is all “real”. I am on the Enterprise and I watch the activities of a Klingon ship from a window at the end of a very small downward-slanted hallway (nothing like this on the actual show in real life) - it is close and I see a lot of detail but it does not fire. Later, I am walking around in the parking lot and see that all the ships are miniature. Does this mean all the actors had been miniaturized as well? I see no larger sets representing the inside of ships. It seems very late at night. After a short time of exploration in the parking lot, I look down at a model of the Enterprise and comment on how much of it is made of cardboard, though in fact, it is actually sitting over a rectangular cardboard “fence” and not with any cardboard in the plastic model itself.

      Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner, both seeming only around forty years old at the most, are seated on benches. I ask William Shatner if they are making a new “Star Trek” episode (again, as part of the original series) and he says “yes” quite cheerfully and I say “cool” with a warm sincerity, not remembering they are rather old now and that it is not 1969 anymore.
      Categories
      lucid , false awakening
    5. Weredog in our bed?

      by , 08-31-2014 at 09:20 PM
      Morning of August 31, 2014. Sunday.



      This is one of those “whining” stressful dreams (usually from being overtired, it seems. The noise I make in the dream is vocalized in reality but not nearly as loudly. They are not really all that common for me. Mostly I am lying on my back in the bed in-dream. Somehow, an animal gets in through the window near the head of our bed and is near my wife and I on the bed. I get the impression that it is somehow part human and part dog at the same time, though eventually seems to be more dog-like and mostly on its side throughout. I keep pushing at it to keep it from causing strange sensations in my back and side (like the strange ticklish spasm I still get now and then). It is not fully nightmarish but rather stressful in a physical sense and in trying to vocalize more loudly (again, causing the “whining” in reality as I am sleeping). My wife brings me out of it for the most part, which is good.
      Tags: dog
      Categories
      false awakening , dream fragment
    6. Red Sailboat

      by , 06-28-2014 at 12:28 PM
      Morning of June 28, 2014. Saturday.



      My wife Zsuzsanna’s younger brother George is visiting us at our present address and I am telling him of my unusual dream about a red sailboat. This event actually happens in a longer-lasting false awakening. Zsuzsanna and I are together on our bed and he is also on our bed a bit farther over, with his cellphone. I believe there is an image on his cellphone that has something to do with my other dream, or at least something about sailboats or the ocean.

      In real life however, I would not consider talking with him about dreams, as he has no interest in anything related to either dreams or spirituality (though that is moot I suppose, as most people have zero understanding of dreams and the nature of the dream state, though Zsuzsanna and I have an advanced understanding - validated of course by the fact she is my literal dream girl, and we share our dreams); so as such, even though this is a false awakening, it is one that represents a highly unlikely scenario, unlike those where you dream you have awakened and are recording your dream in a journal or notepad or are relating it to someone you might be inclined to in reality.

      The linked primary dream prior to this false awakening involves me floating over the scene where I am looking down at the ocean towards sunrise or sunset. A sailboat passes within my line of vision (seemingly moving “upwards” in my perspective and orientation). Everything in the environment is of a normal natural color except for (eventually) everything related to the sailboat, which appears to be covered in some sort of odd, fluid “paint” which I actually see cover everything relating to the sailboat fairly quickly. The sailboat and everything on it is soon red, including the sails and all the man’s body (skin and hair) and clothes. Everything is completely red all around, somehow more “solid” than just a lighting effect.

      Later, the sailboat seems to crash onto a beach (and it then seems a few hours earlier than just before rather than logically later - unless it is implied to be the next morning) with no one hurt. There are several people on the beach. The man soon gets out of the sailboat and the colors seem to go back to normal.



      Typically, red only dominates a dream when my breathing is accelerated (validated by witnesses during my virtually countless experiments with dreams in the 1980s) or when I have slept a little too long, which makes sense here, as a sailboat is both an autosymbolic extension of the physical body (subliminally perceived) and the sails are a breathing analogy as revealed in instances of hypnopompic disclosure (when the meaning of a dream’s autosymbolism surfaces upon waking).


      Updated 03-22-2018 at 05:55 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , false awakening
    7. Kevin Bacon?

      by , 03-19-2014 at 09:19 AM
      Morning of March 19, 2014. Wednesday.



      This morning I dreamt of a familiar well-known actor who had long brown hair and who appeared to be about twenty-five years old. However, I could not remember his name. I also could not remember what movies I had seen him in. I thought and thought about it and his name did not come to me, even after several hours. Later, in real life, I had to go shopping for groceries. While walking past the meat section, and seeing a pack of processed bacon, it suddenly dawned on me and I remembered his name. Kevin Bacon. How amusing.



      In my dream, I am not sure of where I am living. I believe it is my older sister Marilyn’s house. (Marilyn died this year on February 13th.) The rest of the neighborhood is very different than real life. There is a large field directly to the north. There are a few cars here and there. These cars all seem to either belong to Kevin Bacon, or he is fixing them up for friends and relatives. He seems very cheerful and friendly, and quite young compared to his present real age. He is mostly using an orbital sander on the bodies of the cars at first, mostly the fronts. However, he eventually goes inside a van and does some sort of welding and a very strange mood enters my dream - as if it is very likely that there will be an explosion caused by whatever he is doing in the van. Still, that never happens regardless of how anticipated it is.

      I converse with him about the type of paint he is using relating to the automobiles and how the finish is completed. A strange idea is discussed about how a car only needs a finer finish in the front and how the back can just be left with a rough finish (supposedly because people only care about or look at the front of a car). He has much work to do but seems like a close friend and is happily tolerant of my impositions and presence as I ask him various questions. (I am not one hundred percent certain, but I do not presently recall dreaming of Kevin Bacon prior to this.)

      My sister Marilyn eventually makes an appearance but she is somewhat transparent and not clearly defined, almost as if her presence is only an image from elsewhere. Her head, a bit larger than it should be, appears in our backyard at our present address (as my dream seems to shift to a different setting) at about the correct height, and she expresses an interest in the environment as she “walks” farther from the back of our house (more on the side closest the west fence that faces the street), but I never see the rest of her.

      Updated 07-20-2016 at 05:34 AM by 1390

      Tags: kevin bacon
      Categories
      non-lucid , false awakening
    8. Dream Concert within a Dream; Home Invasion

      by , 03-01-2014 at 09:35 AM
      Morning of March 1, 2014. Saturday.



      I am at a wedding (unknown) eventually as part of a band. I am the lead singer and play an acoustic guitar. Three others play. Behind and to my left is someone on a small basic drum kit. Behind and to my right is a bass player. Farther back is someone set up with keyboards including sample players for such as horns if needed. (My dream’s section had repeated with the first song having been done solo by me the first time with no other band members - additional band members appearing is symbolic of going “deeper” into my dream state just as water becoming more and more shallow represents slowly waking from my dream state.) The first song is “Speak to the Sky” with an added four measure intro as well as an additional melodic solo instrumental in the middle and a couple extra verse and chorus events. The next song is “Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da”. The third is by request. A man comes up and asks if we do requests and I say yes. The song is “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”. It becomes very eventful and almost operatic by the end. There are some nice melodic variations in each song that were not in the original. This is done by shifting the melodic lines up or down, with variations on the chord elements. For example only, C-E-G to E-G-(higher)C (in C Major) or D-D-F to F-F-A (in D minor), using downward variations as well.

      Later (or rather right after or even apparently “during” my dream concert), I and my family are together at our home on Barolin Street, though the ages would be wrong for that time (our children are as they are now in reality rather than much younger when we lived there). I am sitting on the couch saying how I had been clearly hearing music (referring to my own dream within my dream). The lyrics were all very clear and correct and I know it is possible to go on for a long time with correct wording in a dream as long as it is somehow related to rhythm or musical memory. I have read stories, even entire novels, in dreams but they do not have the same clarity or stronger dynamics. (Reading an entire novel, though, usually ends with me waking up feeling very stressed and annoyed regardless of the novel itself.)

      Soon, there is trouble on the porch. My wife seems to be struggling with someone through the window directly to the right of the doorway. I get one of two large, long metal bars (as I have in real life, but slightly shorter) and run it through the area, knocking the person in the forehead. It is a young white male in a black duster and somewhat formal clothes including a white shirt and dark slacks. There is also a white female and a black female who are part of the “gang” - they appear to be fairly wealthy (unless it is a facade) rather than just meandering or typically desperate “street people”. It is possible that these people represent facets of the virus I presently have (my wife does not have it “yet” and may not get it - but the last several times my family got a virus of some kind, I did not). The “gang” eventually goes away from the area. I notice there is no higher fence across the front of the yard as there was in reality. I ask someone (no one in particular) to “get me my gun” but prefer using the bar for some reason.

      Later, I go out with the metal bar and hold it up like a sword or baseball bat. The male now has a rifle but does not use it. I see them at a distance about three houses away. Eventually, they come to the house again. I had been in the kitchen at that later point and when I look out to the porch, my youngest son (who seems to have a lighter variation of the virus in real life) is seemingly being held back from leaving the door area by a hand through the window.

      Finally, I decide that enough is enough. I knock all of the “gang members” on the head and somehow put the bar through their body (chest area) even though it is flat and cylindrical (with no sharp point anywhere). That does not seem to be enough, so I “knock them into oblivion” until there is almost nothing left. Two grotesque-looking young males (extra ridges and furrows in their faces - but they otherwise remind me of an actor whose name I do not recall) with platinum blonde hair also approach but I easily knock them to bits as well. Violence. Bah. This cold, while getting better, is annoying. Later, there is a reset and I go back to the concert from the beginning. Good.

      Updated 06-19-2015 at 10:06 PM by 1390

      Categories
      false awakening
    9. Embossed or not?

      by , 02-24-2014 at 05:10 PM
      Night of February 24, 2014. Monday.



      This seemingly night-long dream sequence keeps repeating at about four different levels. They consist of different ideas but flow in a seemingly important established “system”. Dreaming of a consistent repeating system (often related to a precise physical position you need to be in - or series of positions), “adjusting” to it, and moving through it again, is a fairly common type of dream since earliest memory, though I have never heard anyone else talk about it much. Sometimes it is blissful, other times a bit irritating and repetitive. Sometimes it relates to supposedly going into the “exact same dream” again from where you left off as long as several years ago. It even seems to have something to do with certain folds of the blanket (at certain locations) at times.

      The main aspects here…I am trying to mentally emboss a design on the side of the wardrobe. I believe there are several false awakenings. It is like two somewhat oval emblems side by side that have different languages or some such. There is some sort of exotic writing on each, but both different. The one on the right does have something that vaguely resembles a fancy cursive “W”, though, with other smaller patterns. I guess it looks a bit like two different car logos jammed incongruously together.

      Also, at times, I am trying to mentally work out the alteration of a waveform and keeping its exact same musical qualities no matter how the tempo is altered (there is software that does this but most is very unsatisfactory - adding annoying and obvious artifacts and obvious “stretching” nuances, especially with drum tracks). It is something like changing the tempo from 115 bpm to 70 bpm and working out the proportion downward by dividing the original by 12 (based on the 12 notes in one octave), in the formula (in this case only) being 70/115 = ?/12, which would supposedly indicate moving 7.3 half-tones (in a granular construct) down to keep the nuances exact. I have not tested this yet, so do not know if it is a viable idea - I have done similar work quite often before, but went by ear mostly. It does not sound very viable - it would be more along the lines of distance from source pitch by percentage, as tempo is not directly related to frequency (in Hz). I know the old sampler keyboards from many years back simply changed the speed of the wave sound, though (both faster and slower, for the entire pitch range), but this was too artificial-sounding (to the point of absurdity - but a nice useless toy for some “musicians”, I guess) to be of much use.

      Also, with other several false awakenings, I am mentally creating some sort of “wind tunnel” through the middle of the bed, about a foot up. This has something to do with getting rid of my bad cold (I have not had much of a cold or flu in years - regardless of all the foreign backpackers coming and going to the illegal “hotels” on our street - and did not even feel the “entry” of this one as I usually do). It will supposedly work by sucking up aspects of the virus and pull them into a different dimension.

      Through all of this, I am doing some sort of horizontal “slow-motion dance” over an hour or two, whereby my body needs to be in exact positions to maintain the work I am supposedly doing (related to the other three imaginary scenes). I think I am doing this in real life a few times, other times it is only from within my dream.

      Updated 06-19-2015 at 10:10 PM by 1390

      Categories
      false awakening , dream fragment
    10. “Speak to the landlady” (with Rick Springfield)

      by , 02-22-2014 at 08:22 AM
      Morning of February 22, 2014. Saturday.



      This is a more positive variant on the recurring King Street dreams (which I have had off and on for over twenty years) where I often owe a lot of back rent and am wandering about at different times through a former or present room. There have been many variations.

      I end up looking around in the south-most apartment on the east side of the big boarding house. It does not seem to be the place I had lived at recently (and I never had that particular apartment in real life). There is not that much activity or movement from other potential tenants. Later on, there is a first-time (I think) variation in this type of dream. The landlady comes up and says I can have that particular room and I will actually be paid to live there. This seems a bit unusual, but I guess that is how it will then be (in my dream). I still believe that I should be paying her, though.

      Apparently, I had actually been living in the middle room (as I had once in real life) on the east side of the building, before wandering off and living elsewhere (unknown) or being homeless for six months or less, I think. Someone else, however, had been living there for a few weeks though my belongings were all still in the room exactly as I had left them.

      My belongings, other than a few clothes, turn out to be a large number of mostly hardcover science fiction books (including Isaac Asimov’s “Foundation”) and 33 rpm record albums, mostly in larger cardboard boxes. As I move them to my new living location, a couple others help, and the other tenant (about nineteen and likely a local university student) seems somewhat relieved that he has more space for his own possessions.

      Then comes the somewhat disjointed and more unusual part of my dream. For some reason, I put on the video of Rick Springfield’s “Speak to the Sky” (a song I played often in my youth - yet did not know he was Australian and from Sydney). This is not like the one I actually have.

      It is not any real video, though, and it does not even look like him. He plays an acoustic guitar (with a large mic and amp, I think) in front of a small audience on a mostly featureless and inconsequential stage. There is a strong focus on some sort of eerie buzzing effect on one of the guitar strings every two measures or so - probably the low E string. He supposedly makes this sound by placing a stick just close enough to the string to cause the additional sound each time. I suppose I should be wondering how he is able to play the guitar with both hands and hold the stick at the same time. I do not question this obvious impossibility, though. At times, it looks like an ordinary board from the outer wall of a wooden house.

      (In afterthought, this may be some sort of play on George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and possibly also with the saying “Speak softly and carry a big stick”). From there, not much happens other than a bit of idle conversation and look around at my supposed large record collection, spread out over about seven or more boxes as well as the same for the books. “Speak to the Sky” has appeared (or rather played) in my dreams more than other songs, I would say.


      Updated 06-15-2017 at 07:34 AM by 1390

      Tags: landlady
      Categories
      non-lucid , false awakening , dream fragment
    11. My Brother-in-Law’s Plan

      by , 02-12-2014 at 08:12 AM
      Morning of February 12, 2014. Wednesday.

      Dream #: 17,222-01. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



      My dream had a precognitive thread as a suspicious frame appeared on the dream journal website. It implied how you could preserve your anonymity by signing your name to a petition. “Preserve your anonymity by signing your name?” I blocked the source site.



      In my dream, my older sister Marilyn had passed away. I would not call it precognitive as I already had one that revealed a lot of what was going on before I learned of her illness.

      In real life, it seems unusual how so many people I had known were having issues (one of my friends seems to appear about twenty years older than me even though we are the same age). Even my jovial best friend Toby had a heart attack, which I learned the same day a brother wrote to me that our sister would not make it another day. On this same day, I also learned that a female classmate around my age (born the same year) had died in 2008.



      In my dream, my brother-in-law, Bob, is going through the house and working out what to do with everything. He is dismantling a small wooden cradle. I wonder why he does not ask if I want it. Zsuzsanna and I have a baby, but perhaps I should not say anything out of respect. Sister Marilyn never had children but did do a lot of babysitting. I get the impression that he is dismantling their crib because there is no hope of having children as a couple now. It may be a play on “cradle to grave.”

      My brother-in-law talks for about ten minutes. I feel unusual being in the house. My mother is gone, my father had died years previously, my sister is gone (in my dream), and Toby is in trouble. There is a brief appearance by sister Carol who tells me of Marilyn’s death (but she had already died in real life).

      He is talking with an unfamiliar girl, telling her he will be using many aliases. (He cannot read or write in real life). I am unsure what his plan is. Perhaps he intends to get loans (a play on “alone?”) with the people at the businesses or banks thinking they are communicating with several individuals. I think this will cause him to get too many different bills for the same thing, though he does not seem to mind that prospect.

      He announces “R” names for picking up his mail, and the girl writes them on a notepad. There is already a stack of letters. At least two include a petition regarding privacy, overdue bills, and possibly business models and donation requests. There are no other addresses. He will receive any mail with his aliases (as with “general delivery”).

      “Ronald? Or is that too much like McDonald?” I suggest.

      There is a short pause. My brother-in-law calmly says, “Yeah…” and leaves via the front door. I feel foolish over the name recommendation and slightly regretful at not giving him additional possible aliases.


      Updated 07-21-2019 at 06:58 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , false awakening
    12. False Alarm (No Burglar)

      by , 06-23-1998 at 12:23 PM
      Morning of June 23, 1998. Tuesday.



      I am not sure of the time but the front door to our apartment is rattling as if someone is trying to come in.

      I carefully check it out and open our front door. Our (real-life) landlord is there doing something with a ladder in the hallway of the apartment house.

      I say, “Oh, it’s you. I thought someone was trying to break in here.”



      A ladder usually represents an autosymbolic precursor for the return to full consciousness, which is something I clearly understood even at four years of age. The hallway setting is mostly incidental but still represents a “conduit” associated with the waking process in a similar manner as an alley.



      Either our landlord or an unknown intruder would still represent RAS personification, which represents the preconscious state. Still, as our landlord, it would suggest that I perceive my emergent consciousness as the “owner” of the dream state (at least to some degree) whereas burglars (or unexpected or unwanted intruders) suggest that I am not non-lucidly controlling my dream to the extent as in this scenario. However, in non-lucid dreams, intruders or imposers are sometimes more assertive and knowledgeable than my temporary dream self, which confirms the (precursory) essence of the conscious mind my dream self lacks and of which the preconscious only has to a limited degree. Being near a doorway also represents being closer to the waking point in many cases (though can also serve as induction into apex lucidity and full awareness and control in the dream state).

      Checking a door to see if it is locked in a dream (or an event that implies potential intrusion) is usually RAS (reticular activating system) mediation, sometimes caused by a real environmental noise at the time of the dream and sometimes with preconscious concern over whether it is locked - as I once discovered that our door was indeed unlocked after getting up after a waking start from a similar dream as this one. This is otherwise a common type of waking process autosymbolism, which I label “doorway waking symbolism” (though remember that dreams are not symbolic in the way of popular misconception, and that this refers to the dream state, not waking life, and my dream’s dynamics in real-life context are literal here).


      Updated 11-18-2019 at 09:06 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , false awakening
    13. Wolves and Weird Eyes

      by , 11-29-1995 at 10:37 AM
      Morning of November 29, 1995. Wednesday.



      This had been recorded as being an extremely vivid dream, as well as parts being lucid. I somehow end up where there are (living) wolves made of stone, of ice, of snow, and even of diamond. Mostly the wolves of snow seem to bite at me. In many dreams however, wolves are friendlier than domestic dogs. (In the past, mostly before around the age of fourteen, I often dreamed of dogs coming for me, while during the same periods, I sometimes had pet wolves. Presently, though, as I have recently stated, the “same” German shepherd had been in my dreams a few times as some sort of guardian for me - and it usually has some sort of pennant on its collar). I used to play with a wolf hybrid when very young in the coulees.

      I had referenced a very pleasant and vivid sleep paralysis event that seemed to go on and on for some time, referring to “swinging” sensations from head to toe while in bed and pleasant energies that seemed to be rejuvenating my muscles and such. Sleep paralysis has mostly been extremely pleasant for me, though I have heard many people experience negative associations or unpleasant dreams (even nightmares) in such a state (more often than not). Odd. The interesting thing about sleep paralysis is that it is sometimes premonitory (somewhat similar to what I have read on epilepsy - though I do not have epilepsy), sometimes not - I have been in states where I was able to instigate the higher “buzzing” to more fully “separate” into the deeper states but other times it seemed “automatic”.

      Sleep paralysis, throughout my life, always had the same features; a higher-pitched oscillation of perfect timing, almost like ring modulation (which sometimes remains in subtle continuity for a short time even after fully awake - more-so when I was younger), and waves of pleasurable sensations moving up and down my body, as well as the “jumping of will”, or that strange vibration or intense “spasm” above the navel. A few times, this had triggered a dream of lying on a beach on my back with my feet towards the ocean and feeling the ocean waves move over me in an even pattern for seemingly half an hour or longer.

      At one point, I am “certain” that I am awake (though I am not) and get up, but when I go into the bathroom, I notice, upon looking in the mirror, that my eyes are very strange-looking. There are two sets of irises and pupils, side by side, in each eye. Seeing this, I become fully lucid and start doing pulsing affirmations within the dream (regarding universal love and health and well-being) until I actually do eventually wake - with that familiar “my body is made of mist” feeling that I get with certain affirmations with my special audio. There seems to be a point at which I can directly control the hypnopompic imagery, which is fairly rare (normally I can only “program” hypnagogia to whatever detail I choose - which often is enough to establish a particular dream scenario - but often prefer to leave nuances “open” to be pleasantly surprised if such is the case).

      Updated 06-15-2015 at 06:26 PM by 1390 (Enhancement)

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening
    14. Looped Time?

      by , 09-23-1984 at 03:23 PM
      Night of September 23, 1984. Sunday.



      Of all the continuous unexplained events throughout my life, this is perhaps one of the strangest, as well as “deepest” relative to clear memory - in that there is no doubt of my experience and perspective at the time, no matter how “impossible” it seems.

      The basic nature of this event is as follows…I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room on Loomis Street. My brother-in-law Bob was set to watch “Hardcastle and McCormick” (the first episode of the second season, “Outlaw Champion” - neither of us had seen the episode before). I was falling asleep at the time he was maneuvering to the correct channel. In my dream state, I heard the entire dialogue and sound of the show for the hour that seemingly followed, including the commercials. It did not stop there, though. The episode repeated in its entirety and was starting to get monotonous as I had already heard it (and seen parts of it seemingly through half-closed eyes). When the episode came on again for the third time, I was extremely frustrated and wondered what was going on. I was in an odd state of consciousness, with a clearer sense of false awakenings than usual. I was certain that three hours had passed and that it was near ten o'clock.

      At some points, there were distortions. One distortion was that the name of the show became “Hardcastle and Rock”. In fact, this distortion was so dominating, I actually misremembered this is the “real” name a few years later and even wrote it as such in much later journal references (without looking back on older entries - bear in mind that much of my dream journal and dream work is now on larger-capacity flash drives with fully searchable terms and references, going back to when I was born).

      During this extraordinarily boring time of “seeing” (or at least hearing) the same episode three times in a row there were unusual distortions where lucid dream states seemed to “interfere” with the continuity, but oddly, it continued correctly when “going back” rather than having a gap in what I was hearing. The main lucid dreams, which were more vivid than usual, were of being in the small yard at the front of the house and seeing the shadowy silhouette of the “mystery girl”, seemingly a teenager, standing closer to the left side of the front of the house. There is seeming mental contact and a “knowledge” that I will be with her within about ten years or so. This seems too long to wait, especially with this television show repeating over and over. She seems tentative, a bit shy to approach me, and remains about six feet away in the semidarkness of the evening (it seems much later at night in my dream than it actually is in reality, and again, it seemed that about three hours had passed in the final section of this dream scenario). Typically in dreams of this extreme lucidity, I “play with” my own shadow for a time (which I believe is the wakeful conscious mind as seen by my dream self), though this time the shadow is actually the female and I do not see her as “me” at all (though perhaps the “missing part” of me), thus I do not indulge in the shadow play. I am fully aware of her being a separate consciousness somehow and the form of “true love”.

      I eventually start to silently question why in the world my brother-in-law would watch the show three times in a row (instead of more logically thinking about the extreme unlikelihood of why they would air it three times in a row in the first place).

      When I eventually wake…the show is only just starting in reality, still showing the opening - so I hear (and this time see more of) the show for the fourth time - with more conscious focus. I had a hard time trying to work out how this had happened, especially as I had already (and correctly) seen it three times in my dream state. I was not really disoriented, just slightly annoyed at yet again experiencing something no one would believe, otherwise the very “normal” (and unproblematic) day to day nature of my lifetime since birth. I get an idea relating to other entities “tampering” with time, which may or may not directly relate to the “mystery girl”. Still, I shortly disregard it as something not that unusual (at least for me).

      As I had, to my knowledge, only experienced this more lucid “looping” effect once in my life in this particular way, it seems like a rare potential. However, in all honesty, it is not really all that different from the typical precognitive/remote viewing hybrids experienced all the time, other than that there was more clarity and focus (especially in audio), and for a seeming extended time period (far longer than usual, when, however, it could not have been more than a couple minutes even though my dream’s fully in-body sections with the “mystery girl” seemed to be about twenty minutes long, as well as including the “three hours” of the repeating show). With all the other virtually endless precognitive and remote viewing experiences, there was never the residual sense of literally “repeating time” as with this event (typical “repeating” or “reset” dreams did not share this awareness at all, for some reason).

      This also matches my wife’s experiences to some extent in seeking “the one who was meant for her” especially as the “mystery girl” was exactly like her in every way, including being the correct age for this particular dream (even the unlikely ethnicity combination and accent). She wrote to me in real life in 1991 at the same address as this dream occurred.

      There are additional strange coincidences too personal to relate here.


      Updated 11-19-2019 at 10:28 AM by 1390

      Tags: looped time
      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , memorable
    15. Simone Simon, Mother and…Werepanther?

      by , 11-02-1979 at 06:00 AM
      Night of November 2, 1969. Sunday.



      This was recurring as a young boy when first moving to Cubitis in 1968. It related somewhat to my previous attempts to watch the movie “Cat People” at my sister Marilyn’s apartment in 1966 (1942 version, which I first tried watching around age four and could not focus on it - I thought for some reason that it was about groups of black house cats going after people, which it was not of course) but was somehow never able to get through it as I always fell asleep whenever it aired. To date, I have still not seen the entire movie.

      Still, Simone Simon (more as the Irena Dubrovna persona), the actress (rare recurring childhood celebrity dream, I suppose) is my mother as she appeared in that movie. She sleeps in my room because I am supposedly ill (although I do not actually feel ill in any way, perhaps just a mild cold). This recurred over several nights, and part of the reason seems to be that my mother in real life shared my room for a short time when I was ill and was a heavy snorer - her snores transforming into “wolf growls” in my light sleeps.

      My bed was aligned along the east wall of my room at the time, the foot blocking the jalousie-window door to the carport (of which there were two, the other with living room access), oriented south to north. My mother’s bed on the northwest corner, head to the west and west to east orientation. In the near-darkness, lumpy blankets could look like anything, including animals at rest.

      I remember many times, waking up and getting a distinct impression that Simone Simon would protect me in either her adult human form or as a panther if a different animal wandered into my room - these were often restless half-sleeps. However, I sometimes also got the impression that there was a wolf at the foot of my real mother’s bed. This was not a strong impression or nightmare, just an odd uneasiness and “I’d better check every now and then by looking up” routine.

      Updated 07-12-2015 at 08:56 PM by 1390

      Categories
      false awakening , dream fragment
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