• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    Non-Lucid Dreams

    1. Boy with a Beard

      by , 04-24-2018 at 07:26 AM
      Morning of April 24, 2018. Tuesday.

      In my dream, my family and I, mostly as we appear now (except for our youngest son’s beard), are living in an unusual expanded distortion of the King Street mansion (where I have not lived in real life for nearly thirty years). It is most like the second-floor room of the middle of the east side, though the room seems to take up the whole section in my dream, additionally replacing at least the northeast room. There is also another section that is oriented north, forming an inverted corner, implying that the building is either L-shaped or cross-shaped.

      In two vivid scenes, it seems I am on the first floor of this building. I look diagonally across to the perpendicular section, at a second-floor window, where a strange dark cloud seems to be blown out from inside, which also seemingly contains at least a few particulates. I get the impression that it is an older woman who lives there who is emptying her vacuum cleaner by spewing the contents out into the air. I consider that this is not a very considerate act but I never see the person and I do not become angry.

      In another scene, there are at least three people yelling at each other across the street, but I never see them or clearly discern what they are saying.

      The main part of my dream concerns our youngest son. I see that he now has a very bushy thick beard which unrealistically curls upward. Despite how strange this seems, my dream self does not perceive it as a dream state indicator. I worry about him. Although he otherwise looks like our youngest son (other than the beard), he acts very differently. I tell him I will trim it down or shave it off but he does not want me to. Oddly, I mention how his beard is even thicker than our second-youngest son’s beard (who of course does not have a beard either, but this is yet another nonsensical error in my dream self’s thinking.)

      Eventually, Zsuzsanna convinces him that it will be good to at least trim it down. When I see him later, I observe that it is shaved on one side but only closely trimmed on the other.

      There is an additional scene that is the typical RAS modulation, where the preconscious, as an unknown businessman, points a box saw at my chest (the blade downward, only the front end touching me), but I am not concerned. He had been part of a group of people watching us through a window, which is modeled after my childhood room in Cubitis, though seemingly on a fictional second floor and from the south. (The settings in my dreams typically change ambiguously, never being rendered the same way twice in over fifty years and tens of thousands of closely studied dreams.) This is a non-lucid carryover from the lucid dream of yesterday, where I willed a different form of the preconscious to split in half (though I then “healed” it by willing the two body halves back together). Maybe someday people will understand that my dream’s content, when it is not prescient (or with the inexplicable “sent” factor) or dominated by RAS modulation, is mainly based on my focus and knowledge of the dream state itself (how could it not be) rather than waking life, but there seems to be a “wall” in the minds of most people that prevents them from understanding what a dream actually is (inclusive of most people who have published books about dreams).

      As I have written many times in past entries, at least one dream per sleep cycle is somehow influenced by what Zsuzsanna had seen or talked about (or in some cases only thought about) at another location the day before with no way of me knowing. This was going on long before we met, long before I learned my “dream girl” was a real person. Society, not having any intelligence at all when it comes to understanding dreams or the dream state, instead writing mindless tomes about “interpretation” (which completely ignores the dynamics of what a dream actually is) has neither viable answers to this mechanism nor an iota of credibility in general. There have been people who have studied this phenomenon and written about it to some extent, but just as with the truth of dreams in their basic form inherently being autosymbolic (not symbolic in the popular sense), society remains without any understanding of dreams.

      In this case, Zsuzsanna had been with our youngest son yesterday and there was a conversation involving her brother George (here for a visit for the first time in months). They were at Zsuzsanna’s sister’s place and George was talking about a man with a very bushy beard. Often though, the correlating factors are more unusual.

    2. Three by Six Rubik’s Cube

      by , 04-21-2018 at 08:34 AM
      Morning of April 21, 2018. Saturday.

      In my dream, I am in the lounge room of the Stadcor Street house in Wavell Heights. It seems to be morning. I am near where the faux fireplace was in reality, though a two-tiered wooden shelf that covers this area of the wall replaces it. Additionally, it vaguely has an association with the chest in the lounge room of our present address, though does not physically resemble it.

      I notice some VHS tapes on one shelf, but I soon notice an original (three by three) Rubik’s Cube. To its right is a smaller one. I pick up the smaller one to look at it. Even though it was also a three by three, it is now a three by six.

      At this point, the preconscious is rendered to my right (the usual waking autosymbolism orientation). He is an unfamiliar light-haired male of about twenty. He seems cheerful and I do not see him as an intruder.

      From here, I start to move parts of the Rubik’s Cube. The rendering is not physically possible. That is, there are mostly one by six rows that turn about fully without causing the cube to fall apart. Additionally, I impossibly turn the three by one rows and it all stays together. I make about four turns prior to waking.

      To explain this dream, a common RAS mediation factor of the dream state is: Thinking Skills Correlation (Consciousness Initiation), which is what this dream is. I am focused on a Rubik’s Cube (which relates to the thinking skills that the non-lucid dream self cannot possess, as unconscious access is not viable in the non-lucid dream state).

      The preconscious is cheerful as I am subliminally aware of the dreaming and waking process and I do not contest it. The emergent consciousness factor, not fully correlated while still in the dream state, is the illusory (impossible) Rubik’s Cube.

    3. My Father and the Band-Aid Incident

      by , 04-19-2018 at 10:45 AM
      Morning of April 19, 2018. Thursday.

      In my dream, I find myself standing near the center of the southwest bedroom of the Loomis Street house, facing north (toward the kitchen). It seems to be morning. My father, appearing as he was in the 1960s, comes into the room. I seem to be in the process of moving a few things around. I am also facing “my” bed, which is oriented along the north wall, west (head) to east. His presence annoys me, so I rudely ask, “What do you want?” He does not become angry or visibly annoyed but walks off into another room. I eventually see that he is going down the hallway into the bathroom.

      It turns out that he had wanted to know where a band-aid was, as his right upper lip was injured. However, when I see him walking around in the kitchen, I do not discern any blood. It seems my mother might know where a band-aid is (though I do not see her at any point), so I go back to “my” room. My dream fades without incident.

      Rule: Beds and other obvious first-level dream state indicators occur in at least one dream per sleep cycle. I do not technically typify this as autosymbolism, as it is a literal subliminal awareness of being asleep.

      Detail: I find myself standing on the right side of a single bed in a fictitious location at the beginning of my dream.

      Rule: A dream’s setting, either lucid or non-lucid, cannot match a real setting. The obvious neurological reason is to prevent false memories and erroneous associations with current waking life.

      Detail: The main setting of this dream is the Loomis Street southwest bedroom (Wisconsin), where I have not lived since February 1994. The secondary setting, rendered in my dream as southeast of the main setting, is an erroneous link to the Cubitis house’s hallway and bathroom at the end of the hallway (Florida), where I have not lived since the summer of 1978. The final location is the kitchen of our present home (Australia) rather than the Loomis Street kitchen that would otherwise be immediately north and adjacent to the main setting. This is a new unique composite, continuing the rule of no two settings ever being the same in my dreams. My subconscious self does not notice this error at all.

      Rule: A non-lucid dream cannot correctly model the current conscious self for a number of reasons. One reason is to prevent false memories and erroneous associations with current waking life. Autosymbolism that represents liminal space (the dream state and precursory waking space itself) and more so, liminal space dividers (the metaphorical barrier between fictitious dream self and current conscious self identity), confirms this factor. Preconscious access to threads of the unconscious mind is not of the nature most people claim. My dream self (subconscious self) is without viable memory of either the unconscious or the conscious self, and additionally, has no viable discernment of time, space, or sustained coherency in language. Otherwise, synaptic gating would build false memories and false associations.

      Detail: My (non-lucid) subconscious self (which is always unique in each dream, just as settings are) has no memory that my father died in 1979. It has no realization of the erroneous setting or its typical hodgepodge nature. There are no threads of my current conscious self status. My perceived age in my dream seems around thirty years younger than I am. Additionally, there was never a bed in the southwest Loomis Street bedroom.

      Rule: The main event in a dream is the waking alert factor (WAF), autosymbolism based on RAS mediation (or modulation depending on the dream state depth), a biological factor of the dream state itself. This is for reestablishing conscious self identity in the waking transition. RAS mediation will utilize everything from a present association or conflict to features or events long since forgotten and irrelevant, and the dynamic‘s foundation is always literal despite being borrowed as waking alert factor autosymbolism.

      Detail: My father in present dreams is typically an emergent consciousness factor that represents my conscious self identity. One, I have mild soreness in the upper right area of my mouth from the loss of a tooth (though with no bleeding). However, there is also a very old association utilized as the waking alert autosymbolism. Many years ago, when I was twelve years old, this was the only occasion when I felt annoyed by my father’s presence. He was grinning and looking through my open jalousie windows into my room. I walked over and was ready to pull the curtains down (without saying anything) when I realized there were two very large new illustrated dictionaries on my desk, which he had bought for me and placed in my room earlier that morning.

      So how does this relate to RAS mediation borrowing the event? Books and reading are a conscious self factor, as only the conscious self in waking life is intelligent enough to sustain reading while understanding written language (as text in dreams typically changes when looking back at it and often becomes gibberish), thus this was a trigger to begin consciousness activation despite the association being from childhood.

      Rule: Typically, there is at least one thread in a dream in each sleep cycle that originates in Zsuzsanna’s mind, but most often based on thoughts she had elsewhere, not when at home. (Do not ask me how this is possible, it just is.)

      Detail: While out shopping, Zsuzsanna was thinking of buying band-aids yesterday, but she did not (and she did not tell me about it, either).

      Rule: Waking autosymbolism usually initiates on my dream self’s right (when I sleep on my left side, which is less exposed to my real environment).

      Detail: In this dream, my father approaches me on my right and later goes into the kitchen, which relays subliminal awareness of mild hunger. Additionally, my dream begins with me standing near the right side of the bed (the side I sleep on in reality), although this dream is certainly not a false awakening.

      Updated 04-19-2018 at 12:18 PM by 1390

    4. A Very Unlikely Airplane Crash

      by , 04-18-2018 at 10:09 AM
      Morning of April 18, 2018. Wednesday.

      In my dream, I am once again back in a version of Cubitis (where I have not lived in real life since 1978). There is little that correlates with my conscious self identity, even in the last segment (other than remembering I am married to Zsuzsanna). However, I do not feel like a teenager (as I left Cubitis when I was 17). My implied age is probably at least thirty.

      It is night and dark out, though I can still make out some detail. I mostly focus on the setting oriented southerly.

      The surrounding area of the Cubitis house is similar to how it was in waking life, but changes in the last Cubitis-related scenario, before shifting into an unrelated offset dream.

      There is a Cessna that flies south, above the house on at least two occasions. My dream self maintains the usual (since childhood) unemotional anticipation that the airplane will probably crash. (This is a result of the dream state itself, that is, the natural vestibular system ambiguity that occurs as a result of not viably discerning the physical body in REM sleep, and as a result, this common factor projects into autosymbolism relating to flying and falling and so on.)

      Not to my surprise at all, the Cessna crashes in the distance, just past several houses to the south. From here, I and a few other people, all unfamiliar and unknown, walk southerly to investigate.

      After seeing some vague distorted imagery of the airplane crash site that was originally beyond at least five or six houses from “my” house, RAS mediation kicks in more viably, and I and the others are suddenly now in the southwest bedroom of the Cubitis house (dream state indicator, representing my subliminal, that is, non-lucid, awareness of being asleep in bed). I do not consider the impossible scene change. Now, the Cessna had crashed just beyond the windows of the southwest bedroom (despite the original implication).

      We are looking out the windows to the south (in what would otherwise have been the side yard between this house and the neighbors’, though there are no discernible houses past this point in my dream) and I see that the small airplane had apparently crashed into a car carrier, ending up between the cab and a now upside-down pickup truck which faces the windows and is atop the airplane. I consider how it had just missed “my” house (again, despite the same faraway event as originally rendered). Additionally, the airplane is right-side up, yet also facing the windows, which makes no sense as it is implied the Cessna had crashed in between the cab and pickup truck atop the car carrier, so technically should be facing away from the windows. I try to see if the pilot is present anywhere, but I do not see him.

      I talk about the accident, but an unfamiliar girl disagrees with me on how it happened. This does not set about enough RAS modulation (as I do not become annoyed), and as a result, rather than waking, my dream shifts into another odd scenario (though not a false awakening).

      I am in a public place, though this is ambiguous, as it eventually seems to be implied as a room in a private residence. My mother is walking around (and my dream self has no memory of her death in waking life). There are a few bags around which apparently belong to my mother. Some bags contain several unusual clothes, others have small pieces of cloth. There is the idea of sewing random pieces of cloth on some of the clothes. Zsuzsanna is now present and my conscious self identity begins to emerge during the final waking stage.

      The final event relates to me picking up a very colorful and bizarre pair of pants. It features a sketchy human couple, male and female, on each leg, integrated into a complex heraldic shield. There is a floral motif down each leg. I then start to hear a song, where a male is singing about “the girl wearing pants with pants about her pants”, the second “pants” referring to heavy breathing.

    5. The Cigarette

      by , 04-17-2018 at 11:16 AM
      Morning of April 17, 2018. Tuesday.

      In this dream, I am not holding any valid conscious self identity at all (past or present) even though my dream self’s essence feels current.

      I am living in an unknown residence, of which does not appear as anything I am consciously familiar with, not even regarding the usual unique composite.

      I am aware of my “wife”, though she does not (in conscious afterthought only) actually seem anything like Zsuzsanna.

      At one point, I see that she is smoking a cigarette while seated in an armchair. At first, I am not aware of how wrong this is. It takes several minutes of dream time to realize that I do not want to be around anyone that smokes (and my dream self does not even consider the knowledge that Zsuzsanna would never smoke in reality even if there was a viable association with my current waking life). I find myself involuntarily throwing a very small undetermined spherical object at her cigarette as it is near her mouth. Only the burning tip of the cigarette is somehow knocked off and it bounces and rolls across the floor several feet from where she was sitting. The imagery of the embers is very vivid and realistic in its distance orientation, especially as the room is otherwise in semidarkness. I feel somewhat confused and ask her when she started smoking. I feel as if she started yesterday, since I do not recall seeing her smoke before.

      At least one dream per sleep cycle contains atypical material (mainly literal) that had been in Zsuzsanna’s mind, with no way of me knowing about it. This has been validated as having also occurred many times prior to our meeting in real life. (Technically, this is not the same as precognition, but I tag it as such due to its inexplicable nature based on what people pretend to know about how the universe and the human mind works.) Often, as with this dream, it seemingly serves no purpose other than making me aware of what Zsuzsanna had seen or talked about with someone else, often while in public or in a different building the day before. In other words, I dream as much about what I could not have known she was thinking than what she has said or shared with me in waking life. It is apparently not a factor of the known electromagnetic spectrum or I think people would, as a rule, understand more about it. (Then again, people have minds but usually lack any understanding of dreams or even understand what the dream state is.)

      In this case, Zsuzsanna had been in her sister’s new home. Her focus was on a large painting that her sister had created, which was a woman smoking (a painting Zsuzsanna had never seen before). Her sister had just hung it up. Typically, the most unlikely or unusual feature (such as the uniquely painted toy lizard in a different instance) or event of a particular day will be that which becomes a main part of one of my dreams the next morning.

      While in the non-lucid dream state, I usually have no viable access to either my unconscious mind (other than when it is personified for sleep-sustaining purposes) or my conscious self (to prevent false memories from developing). Ultimately, transpersonal factors and the preconscious are that which mediate between my fictitious dream self and my true conscious self identity in waking life. The non-lucid inability to viably access either my unconscious mind or my conscious self in non-lucid REM sleep is likely more than just a biological safeguard.

      Tags: cigarette
    6. Reverse Transition in Liminal Space

      by , 04-16-2018 at 08:09 AM
      Morning of April 16, 2018. Monday.

      (When water induction subsides and my non-lucid dream self is left wandering in liminal space, subliminally attempting to gather threads of my conscious self identity in the waking transition.)

      My dream starts out on a public beach, yet at no point am I aware of the ocean. Apparently, Zsuzsanna and our children as they appear now are present, but I am eventually most aware of our youngest son being nearby.

      I come to understand that many children had lost their toys in the long stretch of beach sand. Here and there, I dig and I find mostly Lego; a lot of small bricks and a large one at times. I know that our youngest son will want some of them. There are also other parts found from older Lego kits, including plastic Lego figures. The sensation of digging with my hands is very realistic and vivid.

      (When my non-lucid dream self is still wandering about in liminal space and reaches an autosymbolic form relating to neural gating and the subliminal enigma of being between sleeping and waking.)

      I eventually reach a small square area on the beach that looks like some sort of ambiguous utility structure. It is somewhat like a small transformer station. Inside, on the ground, though there are a couple very small concrete partial floor sections, there are a few Lego platforms that have simple maze features and look as if they were designed to make a miniature maze by putting the platforms together as well as add separate smaller features over the connected platforms. These other pieces are mostly flat, but with sparse raised patterns (though raised less that a quarter of an inch) that imply part of a simple maze. I consider that our youngest son might enjoy them and I take them to put aside as well. I have a large plastic bag to put all the pieces in.

      (When atypical neural gating closes off more of my conscious self identity after being at this structure, the maze implying the potential return to dreamless sleep in this case, as I have not yet begun waking ascension.)

      Without paying any attention to the change of setting, I am soon digging in the wooden floor, though which is still somewhat like digging in beach sand, of the hall of the second storey of the King Street boarding house (where I have not lived since 1990), rendered as having a searchable essence as in a number of other recent dreams. At this point, even though my current conscious self identity was mostly extant at the beginning of my dream, I am now slipping back into a reversed timeline, where I do not realize I am in the “wrong” setting - and my current conscious self’s memory is now far less viable. Instead of Lego, which is autosymbolism for gathering and constructing my thoughts and identity, and to remember I have a young son, I lose that focus entirely and am now finding stones of an interesting appearance.

      Leonard S comes up to see me, though remains at the opposite end of the hall. He seems cheerful and is going to get some additional stones from downstairs. Meanwhile, the King Street landlady comes up to see what is going on and seems somewhat annoyed. She remains standing at the opposite end of the hall from me as well.

      (When my dream again subliminally focuses on the waking goal, and fails to initiate conscious self identity.)

      Eventually, I find a large magnetic object near a fictional window on my end of the hall. (In real life, there was not a window in this location, my dream falsely implying the end of that area of the house, but the door to Leonard’s room as well as a smaller hall perpendicularly leading to the right and the left open to a staircase to the downstairs area.) It is not a stone but some sort of unusual ovular (though irregular) magnetic object with at least three large flat magnets arranged around its surface. They are somewhat like oversized refrigerator magnets. Each magnet features a scene from “101 Dalmatians” from 1961. One magnet features dalmatians, including Pongo and Perdita, the others, the human cartoon characters Roger and Anita.

      A similar object is nearby. I consider that the objects are meant to be placed together. However, when I touch them together all the flat magnets fall off from each. I start talking about this event to an unfamiliar cheerful male who is now suddenly sitting in the window. I try it again, after placing the magnets back on, but they fall off again. I am trying to understand if this is “right” or not, but the unlikely scene and erroneous magnetism does not trigger lucid awareness.

      The personified preconscious atypically takes on the essence of reinduction (as with the personified unconscious but of which is most often female) and sits in a low-set window rather than standing by or within a doorway, its usual habitat. The magnets did not continue to stick when the two objects were joined, being autosymbolic of the failure of the conscious self to fully initiate (the window otherwise implying the potential exit point for this dream).

      To summarize dream specifics: Water (no longer present in this atypical dream sequence) subsiding from liminal space as the very common (since early childhood) tidal analogy of waking autosymbolism. Seeking to gather current waking life identity. Small transformer station as autosymbolism for RAS (Reticular Activating System). My dream self finds curiosity in the maze-like neural gating potential of the dream state and becomes distracted. Trading one liminal space for another (beach to hall). Personification of neural gating at dream’s outcome, which very atypically represents reinduction rather than waking.

    7. The Cargo Conspiracy

      by , 04-15-2018 at 10:41 AM
      Morning of April 15, 2018. Sunday.

      This was the first time where four of my dreams in a row, at least in recent memory, carried the same vague storyline continuity, probably because I not only went to sleep earlier than usual but slept later than usual. It is mainly a dream about studying the factors and components of the dream state itself, though this has been a very common theme in my dreams since early childhood.

      In my first dream, I am thinking about the nature of the WAF (waking alert factor), the primary biological function of which sometimes results in a snake being rendered as a result of RAS modulation (the key dynamic). I am on our bed, though our house is rendered incorrectly (to prevent waking life associations). I deliberately sustain the dynamics of my dream (only in semi-lucidity, which is neither viable lucidity nor apex lucidity) and watch two snakes. The first is mostly off the bed and is black, eventually ending up on the floor. A second, a yellow one, is moving behind the other, though it is not implied that one is following the other. I recognize that the one on the floor being black is a reference to deeper sleep in this case. The yellow one is of a level of consciousness closer to the emergent consciousness factor and more rapid RAS modulation. My semi-lucidity holds what otherwise serves as the WAF and I even point it out to Zsuzsanna, who is walking around in our kitchen. (This is similar to past in-dream experiments relating to snakes.) I rewind and reset my dream, and the crawling snake event repeats, so I can study it more and determine at what point the shift in unconsciousness occurs. I notice a slight difference in awareness when the last 25 percent of the black snake’s tail is still on the bed (in moving to the left, to the side of the bed) and the yellow snake is about 75 percent on the bed (coming from my right). I fail to remember that moving to the left is also of the nature of dream state reinduction or in some cases, moving back into dreamless sleep states, depending on circadian rhythms dynamics.

      I allow myself to fall back into deeper sleep without waking. From here, a new dream begins, which relates to a futuristic science-fiction scenario. I am no longer of any degree of lucidity other than faux lucidity at some points.

      An unfamiliar man is driving a cargo truck. I am aware that it is carrying snakes for a carnival. I remain near a weigh station as it stops and eventually drives on over a bridge over part of the ocean. Eventually, there is news that the cargo truck was destroyed, driver and all, by some sort of beam directed by a government satellite. I watch the event on a computer monitor. I watch the wide yellow beam come down to dissolve the truck. I realize that there may have been another reason for this event. Perhaps it was related to either a mistake made by the people running the security system or because the man knew too much about government operations.

      I shift into faux lucidity and try to expose this government conspiracy (which is related to non-lucid RAS mediation, inherent to the dream state, not waking life). Bruce Willis and some other people are listening to my description of the events. The man was believed to have been carrying unauthorized nuclear weapons. I am somewhat puzzled, as I remember that both snakes and nuclear weapons are key factors of RAS modulation while in the dream state. However, as I am not viably lucid, my mind sustains my dream non-lucidly. I go back to the weigh station, which is now more like a store’s checkout (typical autosymbolism for the last scene and exit point of a dream) and pick up the severed head of a green snake as well as a piece of its body. I show them to the other people as evidence of a government conspiracy. Again, the man was not carrying unauthorized nuclear weapons, but snakes for a carnival. At least one had left the truck when it stopped at the weigh station. At the same time, my dream self also realizes that I am making up the whole scenario and that I have no idea what the man had actually been transporting. Still, I enjoy the concept of writing such stories.

      In my next dream, there is still some memory of my previous two dreams. There is confusion about picking something up in a restaurant and something to do with my yellow notepad (without a cover) of which I had been writing results of my dream experiments for the last month or so. I find several notepads as well as being given one by an unfamiliar female who works at the restaurant counter and had come outside to talk to me, but none of them are mine. Some of the notepads are only half the length of a real one (which is autosymbolic of my conscious self identity not being fully extant in the dream state). Some of the notepads have writing, but it is not mine.

      I walk into the restaurant. My notepad related to dreams, which I now have automatically (though there are still missing pages implied), also has what are supposed to be “real” notes about the previous events and the evidence the cargo truck had only snakes. I now become aware that I had been hiding from those who had apparently destroyed the cargo truck in my second dream of this sequence. James Franco is sitting at a round wooden table. I tell him not to talk to anyone about me or the event from my previous dream. “But why are you hiding?” he asks me cheerfully, “You are famous”. I realize that he is implying that there are too many people who know about the truth for the government to target only me. However, I then consider that the majority of people in the general public are completely oblivious to any semblance of truth. I vaguely remember that virtually no one in the general public has any understanding of the dream state or of dream meanings (a view I hold in real life), regardless of endless popular falsehoods. This is confirmed by seeing one unfamiliar girl trying to “interpret” her dream (writing in a yellow notepad) at another table. I become so annoyed, I briefly wake, though while allowing myself to sleep for another half hour or so. (My preconscious, James Franco in this case, being cheerful and not with any conflict, was a precursor to this choice, as there is only conflict by way of RAS mediation as such in the final dream of a sleep cycle to initiate the waking alert factor). During this dream segment, there was also a clear focus on government satellites, of which could direct a weapon at anyone in the world. (I am only vaguely aware it is a direct reference to RAS modulation in ending the fictitious dream self identity during the waking transition. In fact, the cargo truck’s destruction is even called “RAS modulation” via satellite in my dream.)

      From here, in the fourth dream, I am near a two-storey building of which is implied to be a girl’s school in England and otherwise looks much like the Victorian School of Art and Science at Stroud, Gloucestershire. The girls, including the ones on the second floor, each walk out from a different window and walk about and hover in the air before returning to their bed each time. I am apparently looking for a girl who knows what the dream state is, as that would be the only sensible goal of coalescence. (Why coalesce or even communicate with ignorance?) In reality, a dream is primarily a state of unconsciousness of which the Moro reflex in infancy evolved. Each has a yellow notepad (though they do not carry it with them), and one is the same unfamiliar girl as from the prior dream. No one seems to know this. Each girl is dressed in a very similar manner, in mostly what looks to be a Victorian costume, which seems to be part of some sort of theme day. In summoning this essence, I vaguely understand that I am merely recognizing public ignorance of dreams, which typically always “looks the same” and of which is very outdated.

      Part of my dream self’s focus and features in these dreams came from major distortions of “Pay It Forward” (2000) and “Oz the Great and Powerful” (2013), which Zsuzsanna and I had watched several hours previously.

    8. Pulling Back the Curtain to Perceive Beyond a Dream

      by , 04-07-2018 at 10:22 AM
      Morning of April 7, 2018. Saturday.

      Focus on: Curtain autosymbolism (why curtains are rendered in my dreams).

      Cause: Passive RAS mediation begins in my last dream of my sleep cycle. My dream self becomes subliminally (non-lucidly) aware of being asleep in our bed in our present home. I preconsciously seek to validate my immediate environment.

      Effect: In my dream, I am lying in our bed at our present home in daylight. (This is not a false awakening, as my dream self neither recalls a previous dream nor holds a thought of having awakened from a dream.)

      Cause: I am subliminally aware that Zsuzsanna is awake and walking around in our house.

      Effect: In my dream, I see Zsuzsanna walking in our kitchen. The large curtain that divides our bedroom (intended as a dining room in real life) from the kitchen is not present.

      Cause: REM dynamics become subliminally discernible. (One needs to understand that the illusory perception of the dream self and the semi-dormant awareness of the conscious self is occurring simultaneously. This is how RAS mediation functions.) My dream self becomes vaguely aware of the real world outside of my illusory dream but I do not become lucid.

      Effect: Looking up and to the right, I see through the ceiling but I do not consider my perception as anomalous. Beyond two sections of rafters (the sections more spacious than in reality), I see a rectangular hole in our roof above the middle of the back of our house, oriented as a slope of about 45 degrees. (This does not correlate with our house’s real design and additionally, my dream’s roof is about three times higher than its real height.) The sky is bright blue beyond.

      Cause: The lifelong autosymbolism for the essence of sleep (and sustaining sleep), water, is subliminally contemplated as a potential reinduction factor.

      Effect: My dream self considers if rain could come through the hole, but this is not a concern. The sky remains blue and I am thinking about getting out of bed.

      Cause: Preconsciously initiating the emergent consciousness factor by subliminally removing the liminal space barriers of the dream state. (A curtain is specific autosymbolism that represents the liminal space barrier between the fictitious dream self and the conscious self but also typically vivifies my dream as here and sometimes augments lucidity and sustains the dream state.)

      Effect: Still lying in our bed, my dream self turns to the right to pull back a curtain near our bed. The curtain features a dark millefleur motif. Looking at the other side of the curtain as I pull it back towards me, I notice a large patch of sparse black mold. I consider talking with Zsuzsanna about this problem, though I do not speak in my dream at any point. I recall that white vinegar can remove mold.

      Cause: My conscious self’s physical body needs to use the bathroom (though RAS does not modulate). I very slowly become aware of the challenge to wake myself. The superfluous autosymbolism seems to have originated from the expression “full of piss and vinegar” as an analogy to initiate the conscious self identity to break the illusion of the dream state.

      Effect: I wake (and of course, quickly get up to go to the bathroom).

      Virtually everything in this dream is rendered incorrectly as a deterrent to interpret it (in the popular but fallacious sense) after the fact (and to prevent false memory encoding and mistaking it for having waking life relevance other than the immediate biological factor). For example, there is no window or curtain to the right of our bed in reality. It is falsely rendered in this way, as waking alert factors are most often to my right, as I presently and mainly sleep on my left side, which is less exposed to my real environment.

    9. Sand that comes and goes on Stadcor Street, Slug and a Snail

      by , 04-02-2018 at 10:50 AM
      Morning of April 2, 2018. Monday.

      This dream renders a unique setting as always, a setting that has never featured in this specific way in any previous dream, which is a process to prevent associations with waking life to prevent false memory. In this case, it is primarily the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane (where we have not lived in years). However, upon seeing Zsuzsanna in the final segment, it is like the northeast room of the King Street mansion, where I have not been since the 1990s (and where Zsuzsanna has never been, never having been to America). Even so, it is on the opposite side of where the Stadcor Street bedroom actually was in respect to my dream’s layout. Additionally, my current conscious self identity is only partly extant.

      I go to look in the backyard for some reason. It seems to be late morning. I am aware that an unusual wind from the east (my right in my dream’s view) has brought a lot of fine white sand into our backyard. There are many shallow recesses in the yard that contain this fine white sand. I start to consider how unusual a feature this is. I study the area for several minutes. Looking off to my left, just beyond the driveway, I see a low embankment. Two very large turnip plants are growing. Only one has a visible turnip slightly above the ground. I consider if I should pull them up, as they seem fully grown, but I start to focus on the main backyard again.

      I notice an area of ground to my left where I realize the whiteness of the sand in that part of the yard may be caused by sunbeams. The area has a silvery glow. Still, the other areas really do contain the unusual fine sand. I decide to go into the house to tell Zsuzsanna about it and to describe the unusual wind that brought the sand into our backyard.

      When in the bedroom, I see Zsuzsanna sitting on the bed, facing me as I stand nearby. The closet of the northeast King Street mansion bedroom is visible near the end of the bed (though I am uncertain of whether it is the head or foot of the bed). As I stand, looking into the closet, I notice a very large slug crawling slowly up the wall. Its view is partly blocked for a time. I watch its optical and sensory tentacles move about. I continue to gaze at it as I also pull a snail from my right arm that had somehow also gotten stuck on my shirt sleeve, somehow making the shirt sleeve also stick to me. This event is distorted, as the shirt seems to have been hanging on a hook on the wall, with me not wearing it at the time and yet somehow also wearing it at the same time (a typical dream event that is impossible to resolve in conscious afterthought).

      There is a brief offset dream where I go back to the backyard and discover that the ground is now only with normal-colored dirt in the recesses. I am somewhat puzzled. I consider how short a time period that the event must have taken place for no traces of the other sand to remain.

      This is a sustained dream segment that is otherwise based on water lowering waking symbolism from an earlier dream. A short time ago, I happened to read the following: “Dreaming of sand may represent the border between the conscious (beach/land) and unconscious (ocean/water) minds.” I found this astounding because it is extremely rare to read anything about dreams from any public source that has an iota of truth on any level. However, it is more about the liminal space between dream self and conscious self, unrelated to waking life itself.

      This dream mostly centers around sleep recognition waking symbolism, which is somewhat of a misnomer as the inference is literal, not symbolic, and based on a subliminal realization that I am actually in bed and asleep. Obviously, the bed confirms this. Additionally, the turnips are autosymbolism for Zsuzsanna and I sleeping. Additionally, the snail and the slug are associated with moving slowly, a play on being sluggish or asleep. The confusion with the shirt relates to the fact that I am not dressed when I sleep.

      Once again, this dream had a prescient thread as many of my dreams do at one point or another (sometimes covering many years in advance which is inherently unfathomable), which is sometimes very frustrating as it often serves no useful purpose other than to convince me that most human minds work in a completely different way than mine. Another poster on the Dreamscloud website had posted an image of a slug (the image repeated three times) just before I was finishing this entry, despite the recognized autosymbolism of a slug representing vague threads of my conscious self identity (in being mostly inactive) in REM sleep.

    10. Helping the Homeless of the Future

      by , 03-31-2018 at 08:27 AM
      Morning of March 31, 2018. Saturday.

      My final dream of today’s date goes into the typical meandering sequences that involve sustained diverse random autosymbolism of which are too numerous to have any cohesion. (This is similar to when dream characters change identity more than once per second, cycling through hundreds of different identities and appearances in a short time.) However, I eventually find my dream stabilizing (though I do not become viably lucid, only subliminally lucid).

      As I walk in an unknown region and I feel that I am somehow in the distant future (and yet there is no implication of time travel), I notice a few structures to my left (dream-oriented side). These structures are of a few different sizes, though resemble boxcars with one side missing. They are elevated by about three feet. The open areas face the footpath. There are people inside them. In one case, with a larger structure, it seems there at least twenty people both seated and standing in a three-tiered arrangement, which reminds me of a class photograph from the 1960s. The imagery is pale and gray and I cannot tell if they are all dressed or not or wearing pale pajamas or long johns. (Of course, this is a dream state indicator that reflects the subliminal awareness that I am not dressed as I am sleeping in bed.)

      I lift my right hand and direct a light that spreads out over the ground in front of the structure. Various objects begin to appear over a wide area (at least ten feet square), mostly combinations of food items, mainly canned food in sets of two and three, and small toys, such as groups of five small felt dolls with each one being bigger than the previous. I maintain my focus until the area is mostly covered.

      Some of the people leave the structure and seem grateful to me. I then direct the light to create a pile of documents farther back from the structure, one for each person, and tell them that money and food can be attained through the use of these documents. “They are real,” I tell them.

      My mother eventually appears, mostly to my right (waking-orientation autosymbolism) though she is not actually my mother but a thin woman of about forty who eventually seems to have a medical problem relating to her throat and neck (possibly a subliminal association with incidental sleep apnea, which is very rare for me). However, my dream meanders and changes from this point.

      From here, an unknown young male appears. He reminds me of a young version of Leonard from the King Street mansion (who I have not seen in real life since the beginning of 1994). At this point, the typical indoor outdoor ambiguity dominates the nature of the setting. The setting is now mostly implied to be on the surface of the ocean, though there is a partial floor to my right (subliminal waking-orientation side, as I sleep on my left side). I am now sitting in an armchair. I ask the male what he wants. He apparently wants a certain kind of potato chips that are no longer made.

      I wave my right hand horizontally and manifest a container with potato chips in it (on the floor to my right). These are not the ones he wants, though he tastes a couple. He is looking for a discontinued brand of potato chips called “Widgets”. I mentally make another container, this time a small commercial bag, and they seem to be the right ones. They are oddly shaped, somewhat like a figure eight, with two chips connected end to end. They have a dark red powder which may be implied to be barbecue flavor. He seems grateful but now also wants a pizza. I wave my hand towards the floor to my right and then pick up a pizza to give him. I tell him that the price of everything I had given him is four dollars and he pays me with two Australian two-dollar coins. (The Australian coins are the only thread of my current conscious self identity. Otherwise, there is no memory of my real life at all.)

      He turns to walk off and I notice he is walking on the water. I reason that the white fishing boots he is wearing have an advanced technology that allows him to do this. He reaches over to his right and picks up a long stringer of fish from an odd structure that resembles a bicycle parking rack and continues to walk. I notice that there is a large largemouth bass at the bottom of the stringer (where there are at least six or seven smaller fish above it) and compliment him on the fish he caught.

      From here, he goes to a Wendy’s to order more food (which is off to his left). The restaurant has the look of a Wendy’s inside a shopping mall and is somehow solid upon the ocean’s surface. I notice the beautiful blue sky above and beyond. I remain seated in my armchair that is floating on the ocean until I slowly wake.

      This is a variation of what would otherwise be the very common water lowering waking symbolism (a repeating dream component for over fifty years) in this particular stage of sleep. Although RAS mediation had rendered the awareness of waking life by way of the implied partial floor on my right, there is no defined transition typically relating to the waking start or a quicker transition from dream self to conscious self. Water is autosymbolism for the essence of sleep, physical release, and the absence of emotion. The personified preconscious walking on the water is autosymbolism for a very passive and peaceful waking transition. The large bass is the emergent consciousness factor and represents the dynamics of my mind emerging from sleep, the autosymbolism of which has occurred in thousands of previous dreams since childhood.

    11. Rebuilding Cubitis

      by , 03-27-2018 at 08:33 AM
      Morning of March 27, 2018. Tuesday.

      I am in Cubitis, but my old home is gone. On one level, it feels somewhat strange for me to be there and see the flat ground extending over what used to be a living area. Still, my dream becomes so abstract, only the basics can be relayed in text. The orange grove is still present. (In real life, the house is still there, but the orange grove is gone, thus this dream is of opposite implications.)

      There is the common ambiguous awareness of being indoors and outdoors at the same time (even though the house or its carport is not yet present).

      A backstory begins to form. An unfamiliar elderly lady is going to live in a new house where mine used to be. I decide that I will build it, or at least begin to build it. Curiously, I am somewhat aware of Zsuzsanna being in my life, but in my dream, there is little else of my conscious self identity present.

      An unfamiliar young girl and boy come from the north as I am “building the house”. So far, I only have one corner with two bottoms of walls, only a few inches high, yet I am also now aware of a part of the carport floor. Eventually, there is an argument relating to a new piece I am adding to the house. The piece is like a long narrow section of concrete with equadistant small spheres illogically attached. The girl makes the claim that a couple of the spheres are cracked as well as part of the concrete, but I see no such feature. I do not yet add it to the house, and I get very annoyed. The scenario makes no sense at all, though is not as wholly abstract as other dreams. The carport as in waking life seems to be present and yet not present (until the last part of this dream segment). I am thinking of how others will come in and complete the house, yet there is still the ambiguous focus that I will do it, though by mental will.

      I soon notice a cinder block wall behind the work I have so far done, oriented to the east. This seems problematic, because the house needs to take up the entire original area and there is otherwise not much room for the building. I consider if the house should be exactly like the original was, or if the unknown woman will need that much space.

      I go over to the gray wall, and after a little effort, push it over. It lands flat and even with the edge of the incomplete carport floor and I consider, and am satisfied, that this fallen wall will now serve as part of the carport surface. I move my hands over the area with an enhanced sense of touch and a clearer awareness, as the act of pushing the wall down vivified my dream (due to the fact that a wall is a liminal space divider between different levels of unconsciousness and in-dream perception).

      From here, as a result of having pushed over this in-dream “divider”, I wander off into a different dream state (though sometimes a wall as such is a more defined division between the distorted dream self identity and true conscious self identity).

      The rest is a meandering mess. I go into my teenage years mode for a short time, wandering about, then into an unfamiliar kitchen setting where one man seems somehow stuck under a table with his leg somehow caught around a chair leg. He is lying on his side on the floor, halfway out from under the table, and another male is trying to help him up. The man on the floor is someone I had only talked with once years ago in Clayfield (I think his surname was Papadopoulos and this is the first time he has ever appeared in a dream as far as I remember). Zsuzsanna is present. I walk around to another part of the room. As I shift into a different dream setting, I am attempting to read some sort of listings in a newspaper as I wake.

      The man on the floor is my emergent consciousness factor (the other unknown male, the preconscious personification), the typical distorted precursory autosymbolism for waking and getting up out of bed. The act of reading in the last scene validates this, as this signifies my thinking skills beginning to emerge as I wake. As dreams are autosymbolic, not symbolic of waking life or with nebulous “interpretations” as such (as literal prescience and autosymbolic waking life factors are far more obvious and discernible), there is nothing here that is new or unusual to me in the dreaming sense.

      In life, I will never stop dreaming about my Cubitis home in infinite unique forms, or in fact, of any place I have ever lived or been, or unique fictitious settings either. There is not a waking life reason for this; it just is what it is, the nature of unconsciousness.

    12. Tackle Box, Painter, and Butterfly Cookies

      by , 03-24-2018 at 09:37 AM
      Morning of March 24, 2018. Saturday.

      I find myself on my own in the middle of a shopping excursion. The shopping mall is of an unfamiliar layout. I wander around for a time until I am more focused on my dream’s dynamics. Although I am not lucid, there is still a vaguely discernible summoning factor as with the majority of my dreams. I remember that I am married and have children, but no other conscious threads are present such as knowledge of my age or location.

      I am thinking of getting a tackle box, mostly for our sons for when they go fishing. I go to a lower shelf and pick one up and decide I will get it. Even though I perceive it as a tackle box, its appearance is that of a white Styrofoam egg carton. I consider that its design is as such to keep individual fishing lures from getting entangled by their hooks.

      From here, I look at a display wall featuring various types of fishing tackle. I consider getting one of my favorite and useful types from years ago; a yellow jig. A couple are near the bottom. I study the many other types, virtually every kind of fishing tackle I have ever used, including various plug lures and spoons. I absentmindedly carry the tackle box and jigs out of the store to the parking lot without paying, though I realize I will pay for everything I get after shopping longer. I put the items into the back seat of a car, from the left side.

      In attempting to go back into the mall, there is now an unfamiliar male painting the foyer. It is a darker cyan, and the entire walls, ceiling, and floor appear to be covered and still wet. (Of course, my dream self does not question this impossible sudden event.) The coat of paint has somewhat of a folded appearance, like the wrinkles and minor folds of a bed sheet. The painter, in blue bib overalls, is on a step ladder and remains cheerful. I am somewhat annoyed by this challenge. I attempt to go in, but I soon consider that I am now partly covered in paint when getting halfway to the opposite door. I subliminally reset my dream and I am again back outside the store (as I was prior to the previous event), wondering how I can enter. I notice that there is now an additional foyer to the left of the first one, which two unfamiliar females walk through to go into the store, so I use this one.

      I start thinking about getting some snacks for my family. Eventually, I approach a large table in the center of one store, which apparently is a bakery. There are several large butterfly cookies (about the size of my hand) with multicolored frosting of mostly yellow, cyan, pink, and blue. Each is wrapped in cellophane. First, I see what I think is the price of 95 cents on a very small label. I then notice that the price on a larger label is two dollars. I pick up two to purchase but begin to wake at this point.

      Return flight waking symbolism (RFWS) has occurred in at least one dream per sleeping period for over fifty years, but sometimes there are multiple diverse flight symbols in several different dreams in a shorter sleeping period. Their specific nature seems directly correlated with both my subliminally discerned level of unconsciousness and vestibular system dynamics. However, in this case, the autosymbolism seems a fairly obvious rendering of “butterflies in the stomach” in subliminal anticipation of RAS modulation (in the sometimes unexpected or jolting transition of dream self to conscious self). Because the butterflies were a static feature as cookies however, the waking was softer than usual. The imagery was also beautiful and even reassuring.

    13. Lathe, Wraith, and Writhe

      by , 03-18-2018 at 03:07 PM
      Morning of March 16, 2018. Friday.

      My dream’s setting is (now WWTC) WWTI’s machine tool class, where I have not been present as a student for over thirty years. (However, ironically, I did work in the school in cleaning and maintenance a few years later).

      I am watching a lathe, although other people are more actively working with it. It looks very old, almost like a subliminally perceived anachronism. Eventually, I see the ghostly presence of Michael G (standing on the opposite side of the lathe from where I am standing), but I do not feel threatened by his presence. The other people do not show any emotion and no conversation takes place.

      Key Factors:

      Autosymbolism factor one: The school setting is based on the absence of conscious self identity in the dream state and the subliminal association of needing to achieve wakeful consciousness again.

      Autosymbolism factor two: The lathe is associated with turning and I had been physically turning over to different sides due to discomfort in the warm weather.

      Subliminal factor: The lathe is likely also a subliminal discernment of our fan being on and facing our bed, thus would qualify as an environmental second-level dream state indicator.

      RAS-based marker: Michael G was a classmate who died on March 16, 1974. I am likely subliminally aware of today’s date (even though my current conscious self identity is otherwise nonexistent here), which is not a common non-lucid dream self attribute. This, as well as the distorted presence of the dream state indicator, is likely a factor of why RAS did not dominate or even activate.

      If this were my dream, and it is, I would ask myself if there is any chance of ever having an electric fan that would operate efficiently for longer than a few weeks in this day and age. I would ask myself if manufacturers will ever produce quality products again. I would reasonably conclude, “Probably not”. I would associate the length of the lathe with the fan’s distance from where I am in bed. I would ask myself if there is a more efficient way to sleep comfortably short of arranging ice cubes in key positions around my body. The lathe’s spindle rotates. The fan’s spindle rotates. My body rotates in bed. It is a vicious circle.

    14. My Father, and a Squid Living in a Mattress

      by , 03-10-2018 at 09:20 AM
      Morning of March 9 2018. Friday.

      My father is alive and appears as he was in the 1960s. I do not remember that he died in 1979. I am also not at all aware of my current conscious self identity. My age may be implied to be about thirty. I ride around in a car with him in late morning. The driver’s side is on the left, implying America.

      There are a few repeated scenes. We mostly visit apartment buildings where gangsters supposedly live. No one is around but us until the last scene.

      My father punches a wall and creates the impression of dampness and marks like small squid tentacles instead of fingers.

      At one point, I watch a waterbed wiggle. A large squid apparently lives inside the mattress and the movement of the mattress’s surface is caused by this otherwise unseen squid. I am briefly, though not viably aware that I am dreaming, and I consider if this scene is autosymbolism as relating, as a precursor, to hypnopompic kicks (as did my donkey inside a mattress dream from Christmas of 2016, which crosses my mind as such very vaguely and briefly).

      In the last scene, my father and I are standing in a hallway where a curtain is drawn across one area. An unfamiliar male moves the curtains aside and says my father has a doctor’s appointment.

      Water usually represents, as autosymbolism, the essence of sleep, dream state induction (in fact, my most common form of induction since early childhood, occurring at least once every sleeping period), and the absence of emotion in unconsciousness. I suspect, curiously enough (from personal evidence), at least on one level, that a squid has something to do with augmented sexuality, however, as related to dream state reinduction (as a subliminal directive) rather than waking life. The problem with pretending that dreams are symbolically about waking life is in ignoring how the fictitious non-lucid dream self (personified subconscious, which lacks temporality and intelligence) is not the conscious self and that, even when non-lucid, I typically seek the understanding of the dream state rather than waking life, to develop clarity of mind. Plus, dreams are primarily autosymbolic in symbolizing the nature of biology, vestibular system ambiguity, transitions in unconsciousness, and consciousness reascension, so how could they viably relate to waking life in the way many people seem to believe (other than when additionally prescient or as literal carryovers)?

      Other than being autosymbolic of the usual RAS mediation and the emergent consciousness factor (by way of preconscious personification), the last part of my dream regarding the doctor (looking into my dream self’s essence through the curtains, which is autosymbolism for the liminal space of the waking transition) is possibly literal and reflects my occasional focus on mortality, though hopefully not literally prescient yet. From experience, I know that my father now often represents my current conscious self identity even if it is otherwise not extant in the dream state. Still, I really had to go upon waking, and as a waterbed mattress is called a “bladder”, there may be a connection, though I had a dream about a squid on a mattress in 2015, and although there were pools of water on the bed, it was not a waterbed. Incidental associations are probably enough to trigger such a dream, though, especially in punching a wall (vaguely influenced by the 1980s movie “Altered States”), with a wall representing the autosymbolic barrier between fictitious dream self identity and conscious self identity.

    15. Vacuuming Trouble

      by , 03-03-2018 at 07:48 AM
      Morning of March 3, 2018. Saturday.

      In the last segment of my dream, I find myself holding a vacuum cleaner. I start to vacuum the floor, which has the appearance, to some extent, of the area near the entrance to my room in Cubitis (where I had not lived since 1978). However, it also has the essence of our present home.

      Over time, as I am vacuuming, there is a point at which the vacuum cleaner’s sound decreases. The suction becomes minimal, though I am still able to vacuum a little longer. I vacuum up small paper scraps as well as dust and small debris. Finally, the vacuum cleaner’s sound is almost inaudible. I bend the hose at different angles to see if that helps release any debris in the blocked area, but it does not seem to be working. As I am twisting the hose, my focus is to my left, the side the vacuum cleaner is mostly oriented toward.

      Eventually, in hypnopompic revelation (the emergent consciousness factor of liminal space, where the meaning of my dream is revealed to me), I discover that the blood circulation of my left arm had been cut off to a greater extent than usual, as I was sleeping on it. Thus, the blocked vacuum cleaner hose was autosymbolism for my left arm’s blocked circulation. RAS mentally prepared me for this with my dream’s focus on the blocked hose to resolve the issue as soon as possible after my dream’s cessation. (This is known as biological pattern matching.)

      My dream’s beginning is associated with the glymphatic system and the evidence that the clearance of interstitial waste products increases during the resting state.

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