Blue_Opossum

Morning of May 13, 2018. Sunday.



I find myself in an unfamiliar park at night. Zsuzsanna is present but is only about eighteen years old. My conscious self identity is not extant, though I want to be with Zsuzsanna, though it is implied we have not yet spent time together. Her father is present at one point. There is a cheerful atmosphere. A number of strange events take place with the typical timeline distortions and setting alterations. Part of the park has a cemetery, as has sometimes been the case in dreams since childhood.

At one point, Zsuzsanna is standing near me and something invisible pushes her from her right. I wave my hand to make it visible and it is a tyrannosaurus of a somewhat yellowish color. It is not rendered very realistically and I wave it off.

In one scene, I wave my hands in front of a small audience. The expectation is to cause trees to uproot and to float in the air as well as headstones being lifted from the ground to float in the air. It does not happen right away, which puzzles me (even though I am not lucid), but there is some eventual movement.

In one of the last vivid scenes, I want to be with Zsuzsanna but I am puzzled by having barnacles growing from my left shoulder and upper left arm. I realize that this is not a serious medical condition, but I think it might make me undesirable. The barnacles jut out to about two inches.

In the last sequence, Zsuzsanna is standing near me and about six people, mostly in white with numbers on their tank tops, run toward us, though we are not directly in their path, so they run past us. Soon after this, what I first consider is a wheel rolls toward us. I turn to look behind me as it rolls down the path. It turns to the right and seems to jump and then rolls a short distance into a field before stopping. The scene shifts to where I am on the Barolin Street house’s porch without realizing I had lived here once or remembering that a porch has been common autosymbolism for the waking space of a dream since early childhood.

An unknown male of about twenty is present on the porch (the preconscious). He has a backpack and had been in the marathon. He is also a skydiver. Apparently, the “wheel” that rolled and jumped was his parachute wrapped up in the circular shape and it somehow got away from him. I cheerfully tell him of how it seemed to somehow jump on its own from the side of the road, implying that it might indicate a supernatural “I am” held by the parachute itself, as if it possessed consciousness.

---

Working at decoding in reverse, the last scene is the very common (once per sleep cycle for over fifty years) vestibular system correlation autosymbolism and personification of the vestibular system factor by way of the preconscious. (This always represents a subliminal anticipation of the return to consciousness due to the nature of the falling start, which is solely biological.)

The barnacle scene is from “Barnacle Bill the Sailor”, a rather ribald song my father used to perform fairly often in public. Still, the lines I laughed at the most as a child were “I’ll come down and let you in,” (sang three times in a falsetto voice), said the fair young maiden. “Well, hurry before I bust the door,” says Barnacle Bill the Sailor. Therefore, I suppose there is a very subtle liminal awareness of doorway autosymbolism as well as the autosymbolic nature of using a staircase (for changing the level of awareness in a dream). Still, there are usually transpersonal influences in levels of unconsciousness closer to waking. In this case, Zsuzsanna had been looking at a pirate outfit for a small teddy bear (which additionally is a dream state indicator), which I had not known about, so there are always intriguing external correlations and synchronicity.

The tyrannosaurus scene is a throwback to childhood dreams where I had liminal dream control and created chase scenes without my dream self fully perceiving the source of the dream events by way of the preconscious (which is how dreams are mainly rendered, not by way of the unconscious, which the dream self does not have viable access to, or so-called subconscious, as the dream self is the subconscious personified, and without much intelligence or memory unless lucid).

The cemetery is often perceived as the factor of the conscious self not being extant in the dream state, the same aspect that creates certain types of ghost autosymbolism.

---

Morning of May 8, 2018. Tuesday.



I allow the awareness of my physical body to become autosymbolic in the rendering of a silver van. I recognize the essence of water as dream state induction, the gentle beautiful rain splashing lightly on me at times from my left through the open window of the van. The van is driving itself without incident even though I am behind the steering wheel. Zsuzsanna is to my right in this dream (and I am sleeping more down on my stomach, so she is to my right side in reality, though I most often sleep on my left side). The van was meant to move through rain, which is the essence of well-being and healing factors, the brain and heart about 73% water at that. We go through a sparse forest of young trees; the trees on each side pass by in both directions. I do not reflect much upon such impossibility. We phase through a chain-link fence.

I enjoy going down the escalator of Hinkler in the van, with brief puzzlement of what may or may not be a car wash as we go elsewhere. Other people are walking around, shopping. Miniature cars drive above me, on the ceiling, upside-down, their headlights creating a harmonious awareness. The van drives itself through a hall in an unknown building that is just big enough for it to move through. Then in a more augmented vestibular awareness, we fly far above a lake near early evening.

Rain upon me in the dream state is so pleasing. Whatever vehicle my body becomes auto symbolically, car, van, airplane, boat, there is still flight potential.

---

Morning of April 24, 2018. Tuesday.



In my dream, my family and I, mostly as we appear now (except for our youngest son’s beard), are living in an unusual expanded distortion of the King Street mansion (where I have not lived in real life for nearly thirty years). It is most like the second-floor room of the middle of the east side, though the room seems to take up the whole section in my dream, additionally replacing at least the northeast room. There is also another section that is oriented north, forming an inverted corner, implying that the building is either L-shaped or cross-shaped.

In two vivid scenes, it seems I am on the first floor of this building. I look diagonally across to the perpendicular section, at a second-floor window, where a strange dark cloud seems to be blown out from inside, which also seemingly contains at least a few particulates. I get the impression that it is an older woman who lives there who is emptying her vacuum cleaner by spewing the contents out into the air. I consider that this is not a very considerate act but I never see the person and I do not become angry.

In another scene, there are at least three people yelling at each other across the street, but I never see them or clearly discern what they are saying.

The main part of my dream concerns our youngest son. I see that he now has a very bushy thick beard which unrealistically curls upward. Despite how strange this seems, my dream self does not perceive it as a dream state indicator. I worry about him. Although he otherwise looks like our youngest son (other than the beard), he acts very differently. I tell him I will trim it down or shave it off but he does not want me to. Oddly, I mention how his beard is even thicker than our second-youngest son’s beard (who of course does not have a beard either, but this is yet another nonsensical error in my dream self’s thinking.)

Eventually, Zsuzsanna convinces him that it will be good to at least trim it down. When I see him later, I observe that it is shaved on one side but only closely trimmed on the other.

There is an additional scene that is the typical RAS modulation, where the preconscious, as an unknown businessman, points a box saw at my chest (the blade downward, only the front end touching me), but I am not concerned. He had been part of a group of people watching us through a window, which is modeled after my childhood room in Cubitis, though seemingly on a fictional second floor and from the south. (The settings in my dreams typically change ambiguously, never being rendered the same way twice in over fifty years and tens of thousands of closely studied dreams.) This is a non-lucid carryover from the lucid dream of yesterday, where I willed a different form of the preconscious to split in half (though I then “healed” it by willing the two body halves back together). Maybe someday people will understand that my dream’s content, when it is not prescient (or with the inexplicable “sent” factor) or dominated by RAS modulation, is mainly based on my focus and knowledge of the dream state itself (how could it not be) rather than waking life, but there seems to be a “wall” in the minds of most people that prevents them from understanding what a dream actually is (inclusive of most people who have published books about dreams).

---

As I have written many times in past entries, at least one dream per sleep cycle is somehow influenced by what Zsuzsanna had seen or talked about (or in some cases only thought about) at another location the day before with no way of me knowing. This was going on long before we met, long before I learned my “dream girl” was a real person. Society, not having any intelligence at all when it comes to understanding dreams or the dream state, instead writing mindless tomes about “interpretation” (which completely ignores the dynamics of what a dream actually is) has neither viable answers to this mechanism nor an iota of credibility in general. There have been people who have studied this phenomenon and written about it to some extent, but just as with the truth of dreams in their basic form inherently being autosymbolic (not symbolic in the popular sense), society remains without any understanding of dreams.

In this case, Zsuzsanna had been with our youngest son yesterday and there was a conversation involving her brother George (here for a visit for the first time in months). They were at Zsuzsanna’s sister’s place and George was talking about a man with a very bushy beard. Often though, the correlating factors are more unusual.

---

Morning of April 23, 2018. Monday.



While lying in our bed early this morning, I enter light sleep paralysis, which automatically brings me joy, a sense of well-being, and enhanced senses, though there is no imagery. I try to will the rising sensation I usually get upon focusing on this state, which usually begins with a tingling all over my body and an eventual sense of floating. This occurs and I feel weightless. I am aware of Zsuzsanna on my left. I try again. A second wave of tingling pleasure fills me.

Believing I am at least partly awake now (but still in a vivid dream state), I see a few random comic strip panels as if floating above me, facing downward. I read some words and word patterns, most of which are the typical gibberish, but the letters are very clear. One end panel says “TWIN” and below that, “TWN”. Another end panel begins with “Dream interpretation is misrepresentation…”.

I believe I am talking to Zsuzsanna about what I had seen, though my eyes are closed for a time. There is a real awakening of which quickly falls back into a false awakening. I seem to be in the Stadcor Street backyard (where we have not lived in years) in late morning, even though it also seems we are inside our present home in bed in semidarkness. (Being aware of two different lighting schemes simultaneously is not that common in my dreams, though it is basically just another aspect of bilocation caused by the conscious self identity being in the dream state.) I still believe that a part of me is awake enough to communicate with Zsuzsanna. A tingling moves through my body again and there is also a flashing. My hand is flashing as well. There is a very intense enhanced awareness. However, looking at the sky, I see a Klingon Bird-of-Prey hovering over the house and a 1950s flying saucer farther to the left. I laugh at my inability to realize that I had not stayed awake during this time. I then wake for a short time for real. My sexuality seems exponentially increased. I am going to have to play around and take advantage of the dream state for a little longer.

Still in very pleasant light sleep paralysis, I decide to augment the state again and hold my conscious self awareness intact as much as I can. I am then in the bedroom on Barolin Street (where we have not lived since 2008 - the house no longer there in reality). I deliberately become incorporeal for a time and decide to try a typical door experiment. I move through the house toward the front door, which is now a large locked steel vault door. I fly as fast as I can will myself to, headed straight to it. As I know it is a dream, and what the door represents (a liminal space barrier between different levels of consciousness and unconsciousness), I realize that one of two events will happen. Either I will wake upon reaching the door, or I will enter an even higher state of apex lucidity by phasing through it. The latter happens. Time seems to slow down and I phase through the door, enjoying the event. I marvel at the beauty of the event and my enhanced clarity of mind.

After phasing through the steel door, I find myself in front of an unfamiliar house late at night, looking back at the other side of the door. From here, I decide to walk and also to bring about daylight.

I reach an area with about ten people to my left, mostly sitting along the side of the road. Most of them are partly undressed. It might be some sort of family gathering. Being in apex lucidity, the dream characters are a bit “off” and “glitchy”. I am looking for Zsuzsanna or a reasonable facsimile of her. I see a girl sitting on an embankment but realize that it is not her. I notice that all of the people have small areas of odd patchy and scaly darker skin. This may be a RAS hybrid of snake (the core RAS modulation factor) and personification.

The preconscious (as an unknown male of about thirty) takes form and walks toward me and I am very annoyed, as I do not want to wake up yet. I immediately split him in two with the power of my thoughts and the sides fall in opposite directions. His partner comes over and seems upset. She looks down at the ground and seems unsure of what to say. I decide to will the pieces back together and walk off to another area.

I summon a sexual encounter. It seems to be a version of Zsuzsanna at first, but soon turns out not to be. She is wearing a cat costume. Unfortunately, she also expects me to interact with her virtual pet first, that she pulls out of a cloth bag, which is little more than a Fleshlight with a toy stuffed cat sewn around it. This greatly annoys me and I go elsewhere. (Otherwise, a cat is an emergent consciousness factor, though remains on the preconscious side of the door of liminal space.)

The people in this new area, half open building, half outdoors, are now taking on a more realistic appearance. Girls walk through a hall in a building of an unknown purpose. I am not sure if it is meant to be a college, hospital, train station, or all of the above. I summon Zsuzsanna and we indulge in pleasure, though I do not undress her. I go through the motions of undoing my pants (which is very strange as I am not dressed in reality and my faux conscious self model should know this). My manhood phases into her (through her clothes) as she leans back against the edge of a wall where a large room is to the left and the hall is to the right and we move together for several minutes. I have zero interest in the people walking around, though they do not regard us anyway. As I wake, I am holding Zsuzsanna close.

---

Morning of April 2, 2018. Monday.



This dream renders a unique setting as always, a setting that has never featured in this specific way in any previous dream, which is a process to prevent associations with waking life to prevent false memory. In this case, it is primarily the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane (where we have not lived in years). However, upon seeing Zsuzsanna in the final segment, it is like the northeast room of the King Street mansion, where I have not been since the 1990s (and where Zsuzsanna has never been, never having been to America). Even so, it is on the opposite side of where the Stadcor Street bedroom actually was in respect to my dream’s layout. Additionally, my current conscious self identity is only partly extant.

I go to look in the backyard for some reason. It seems to be late morning. I am aware that an unusual wind from the east (my right in my dream’s view) has brought a lot of fine white sand into our backyard. There are many shallow recesses in the yard that contain this fine white sand. I start to consider how unusual a feature this is. I study the area for several minutes. Looking off to my left, just beyond the driveway, I see a low embankment. Two very large turnip plants are growing. Only one has a visible turnip slightly above the ground. I consider if I should pull them up, as they seem fully grown, but I start to focus on the main backyard again.

I notice an area of ground to my left where I realize the whiteness of the sand in that part of the yard may be caused by sunbeams. The area has a silvery glow. Still, the other areas really do contain the unusual fine sand. I decide to go into the house to tell Zsuzsanna about it and to describe the unusual wind that brought the sand into our backyard.

When in the bedroom, I see Zsuzsanna sitting on the bed, facing me as I stand nearby. The closet of the northeast King Street mansion bedroom is visible near the end of the bed (though I am uncertain of whether it is the head or foot of the bed). As I stand, looking into the closet, I notice a very large slug crawling slowly up the wall. Its view is partly blocked for a time. I watch its optical and sensory tentacles move about. I continue to gaze at it as I also pull a snail from my right arm that had somehow also gotten stuck on my shirt sleeve, somehow making the shirt sleeve also stick to me. This event is distorted, as the shirt seems to have been hanging on a hook on the wall, with me not wearing it at the time and yet somehow also wearing it at the same time (a typical dream event that is impossible to resolve in conscious afterthought).

There is a brief offset dream where I go back to the backyard and discover that the ground is now only with normal-colored dirt in the recesses. I am somewhat puzzled. I consider how short a time period that the event must have taken place for no traces of the other sand to remain.

---

This is a sustained dream segment that is otherwise based on water lowering waking symbolism from an earlier dream. A short time ago, I happened to read the following: “Dreaming of sand may represent the border between the conscious (beach/land) and unconscious (ocean/water) minds.” I found this astounding because it is extremely rare to read anything about dreams from any public source that has an iota of truth on any level. However, it is more about the liminal space between dream self and conscious self, unrelated to waking life itself.

This dream mostly centers around sleep recognition waking symbolism, which is somewhat of a misnomer as the inference is literal, not symbolic, and based on a subliminal realization that I am actually in bed and asleep. Obviously, the bed confirms this. Additionally, the turnips are autosymbolism for Zsuzsanna and I sleeping. Additionally, the snail and the slug are associated with moving slowly, a play on being sluggish or asleep. The confusion with the shirt relates to the fact that I am not dressed when I sleep.

Once again, this dream had a prescient thread as many of my dreams do at one point or another (sometimes covering many years in advance which is inherently unfathomable), which is sometimes very frustrating as it often serves no useful purpose other than to convince me that most human minds work in a completely different way than mine. Another poster on the Dreamscloud website had posted an image of a slug (the image repeated three times) just before I was finishing this entry, despite the recognized autosymbolism of a slug representing vague threads of my conscious self identity (in being mostly inactive) in REM sleep.

---

Morning of March 27, 2018. Tuesday.



I am in Cubitis, but my old home is gone. On one level, it feels somewhat strange for me to be there and see the flat ground extending over what used to be a living area. Still, my dream becomes so abstract, only the basics can be relayed in text. The orange grove is still present. (In real life, the house is still there, but the orange grove is gone, thus this dream is of opposite implications.)

There is the common ambiguous awareness of being indoors and outdoors at the same time (even though the house or its carport is not yet present).

A backstory begins to form. An unfamiliar elderly lady is going to live in a new house where mine used to be. I decide that I will build it, or at least begin to build it. Curiously, I am somewhat aware of Zsuzsanna being in my life, but in my dream, there is little else of my conscious self identity present.

An unfamiliar young girl and boy come from the north as I am “building the house”. So far, I only have one corner with two bottoms of walls, only a few inches high, yet I am also now aware of a part of the carport floor. Eventually, there is an argument relating to a new piece I am adding to the house. The piece is like a long narrow section of concrete with equadistant small spheres illogically attached. The girl makes the claim that a couple of the spheres are cracked as well as part of the concrete, but I see no such feature. I do not yet add it to the house, and I get very annoyed. The scenario makes no sense at all, though is not as wholly abstract as other dreams. The carport as in waking life seems to be present and yet not present (until the last part of this dream segment). I am thinking of how others will come in and complete the house, yet there is still the ambiguous focus that I will do it, though by mental will.

I soon notice a cinder block wall behind the work I have so far done, oriented to the east. This seems problematic, because the house needs to take up the entire original area and there is otherwise not much room for the building. I consider if the house should be exactly like the original was, or if the unknown woman will need that much space.

I go over to the gray wall, and after a little effort, push it over. It lands flat and even with the edge of the incomplete carport floor and I consider, and am satisfied, that this fallen wall will now serve as part of the carport surface. I move my hands over the area with an enhanced sense of touch and a clearer awareness, as the act of pushing the wall down vivified my dream (due to the fact that a wall is a liminal space divider between different levels of unconsciousness and in-dream perception).

From here, as a result of having pushed over this in-dream “divider”, I wander off into a different dream state (though sometimes a wall as such is a more defined division between the distorted dream self identity and true conscious self identity).

The rest is a meandering mess. I go into my teenage years mode for a short time, wandering about, then into an unfamiliar kitchen setting where one man seems somehow stuck under a table with his leg somehow caught around a chair leg. He is lying on his side on the floor, halfway out from under the table, and another male is trying to help him up. The man on the floor is someone I had only talked with once years ago in Clayfield (I think his surname was Papadopoulos and this is the first time he has ever appeared in a dream as far as I remember). Zsuzsanna is present. I walk around to another part of the room. As I shift into a different dream setting, I am attempting to read some sort of listings in a newspaper as I wake.

---

The man on the floor is my emergent consciousness factor (the other unknown male, the preconscious personification), the typical distorted precursory autosymbolism for waking and getting up out of bed. The act of reading in the last scene validates this, as this signifies my thinking skills beginning to emerge as I wake. As dreams are autosymbolic, not symbolic of waking life or with nebulous “interpretations” as such (as literal prescience and autosymbolic waking life factors are far more obvious and discernible), there is nothing here that is new or unusual to me in the dreaming sense.

In life, I will never stop dreaming about my Cubitis home in infinite unique forms, or in fact, of any place I have ever lived or been, or unique fictitious settings either. There is not a waking life reason for this; it just is what it is, the nature of unconsciousness.

---

Morning of February 27, 2018. Tuesday.



I am in an unfamiliar store and looking at a large wooden display unit for magazines. It has four shelf sections and is as long as the aisle.

I notice an American Mad Magazine on the third shelf up, the front cover of which resembles that of issue 145 from September 1971 (with the original’s cover price being 40 cents), though the art is somewhat sketchy, seemingly by Don Martin, and drawn smaller and lower than the real version. It also seems to be implied to be a hot air balloon with a male character hanging from the basket’s gunwale on the left side and a female character facing left in profile and looking down at him with a question mark over her head.

I pick it up with my left hand but I never open it. Still, I perceive that some of the pages are stiffer than usual, perhaps due to several different thin cardboard pages throughout. I consider that it may be a special issue. I assume it is two dollars and prepare to buy it, discovering that I have an Australian two-dollar coin in my right hand.

Zsuzsanna is also soon present and she finds a magazine that she plans to buy. It seems to be a different issue of Mad Magazine, but I do not see the cover.

I go to the singular checkout counter, which looks somewhat like the type in a convenience store, although there is no display unit at the front. I prepare to pay for the magazine when I notice that I am also carrying, in my left hand (and below the magazine), what looks like three VHS cases, though smaller than real ones and ambiguously associated with DVD cases. Looking at them, they all seem to be folk music albums.

Their covers are all in brown and beige hues and feature mostly print (apparently lists of song titles). I put them in a display bin in which others are strewn, at the end of the aisle near the checkout. Going back, I notice that I still have one case in my hand, and wonder how I had missed putting it back. I feel somewhat annoyed by my absentmindedness.

When I am at the checkout (Zsuzsanna standing on my left), the unfamiliar male cashier tells me it will be twelve dollars. Looking at the cover, even seeing that the price in the upper right corner reads as $3.12 (three dollars and twelve cents), I still exclaim, “How can a two dollar magazine be twelve dollars?” I consider that I might pay the amount, as I start to remember that American magazines in Australia are much more expensive than their printed cover price, but I wake at this point.

---

Zsuzsanna is usually on my left in the last segment of a dream. This is subliminal awareness that she is on my left as we are sleeping, and as such, is a common DSI (Dream State Indicator).

The Mad Magazine cover depicts static “failed flight waking symbolism”, suggesting that the character is about to fall, potentially precursory symbolism of my dream self in waking transition (the typical biological jolt of waking). However, these common dynamics had been quashed in this case, both in being featured on a liminal space divider (magazine cover) and oriented incorrectly. This is otherwise based on the biological vestibular system ambiguity of being unconscious, unrelated to waking life. There has been at least one VSA factor in at least one of my dreams of each sleeping period for over fifty years, so pretending that VSA autosymbolism is relevant to waking life is asinine (other than when literally prescient, though I doubt I will be in a hot air balloon or buying a Mad Magazine in the future).

This dream is the typical checkout scenario, which is autosymbolism of consciousness reascension (leaving the dream state), one of my most common factors of waking autosymbolism since childhood. The confusion about prices (as well as having to do the same thing more than once) is a common dream state dynamic (as the non-lucid dream self does not usually possess or maintain viable thinking skills or temporality) of which is unrelated to waking life and the conscious self.

The preconscious personification (the cashier) is an unfamliar male to prevent my dream from having waking life associations. (However, in direct contrast, this factor is sometimes inexplicably prescient.)

RAS mediation renders the store as unfamiliar to prevent my conscious mind from mistaking it as being related to waking life (for prevention of false or ambiguous memories). (There is always the possibility that it may be visually prescient, but it is probably only the usual unique fictitious composite.)

In summary, this dream features the usual components and autosymbolism. The Mad Magazine cover is similar to the first issue that my mother bought me when I began to collect them in 1971, thus this represents the induction marker of my dream, while the checkout is the exit marker.

---

Morning of October 7, 2008. Tuesday.



I am standing near a river in late morning. A mist begins to grow and rise from the river. Later, it seems more like early evening.

Eventually, the mist is elsewhere with an undetermined orange light within it, implied to be like a miniature sun. Zsuzsanna is present at one point and some of the light within the mist shines through and augments her beauty. (I am unsure if the setting is implied to be indoors or outdoors, a common ambiguous factor of the dream state.)

---

My dream begins with the common water induction (water being autosymbolism for entering the dream state, occurring as such at least once in every normal sleeping period for over fifty years). The mist symbolizes the essence of the dream state itself, which obscures the orb of light (conscious self identity). This is very similar to many previous dreams of which utilize the same autosymbolism, typical RAS mediation of which is similar to many dreams I have had about something being wrong with the sun, which is biological autosymbolism for my conscious self identity being incomplete while in the dream state.

---

(The first two episodes of the fourth season of “Supernatural” aired the night before, included here for personal date-tracking purposes only.)

---

Morning of February 19, 2018. Monday.



In the first part of my dream, I notice a square hole in the floor in front of our couch, near the middle, about a third of the size of the couch. I consider that our youngest daughter might fall through if she is not paying attention, although the concern does not dominate my thoughts, as I also consider she would likely be aware of it for the most part. It seems to be late afternoon. The couch is in the wrong orientation. It is perpendicular to its real location, as it is on the west side of the lounge room facing east (where it has never been in reality) instead of being at the south edge of the lounge room facing north.

Later, Zsuzsanna and I are in a fictional room that is oriented where our oldest son’s room would be in reality, though is implied to be a mostly featureless lounge room, though there are bookshelves present. Zsuzsanna remains on my left. I focus on what looks like water dripping from a small area of the ceiling. I somehow see through the ceiling and see a large hole in the roof (as if I had x-ray vision, a fairly common dream state trait), oriented to my right. I tell Zsuzsanna of this, remembering that a new roof had just been built onto our house (in reality) and this new one has already partly “dissolved”. I also notice a smaller hole in the roof near the far corner of the room. I strongly focus on the idea of rain and water coming down, and (without viable lucidity) see water pouring through the small narrow irregular hole in the ceiling.

After this, I expect more water to come in near where the cat is sleeping in the far corner. A smaller amount of water than in the first instance comes through the ceiling near the corner and splashes the cat, but it does not seem that annoyed and remains in its position. I have a vague concern about books getting wet, but no more water comes through and I slowly wake. (The supposed rainwater event is more like someone quickly pouring water from a bucket from the two areas above the ceiling rather than a leak caused by rain or an even amount of water over time as it does not even seem to be raining when I look through the ceiling with x-ray vision, and then through the hole in the roof each time, as the sky is blue and cloudless.)

---

My dream self’s first focus is on the hole in the floor. This represents neural OR gating relating to a subliminal focus on Zsuzsanna’s unconsciousness, as it is in the same location in front of the couch where Zsuzsanna sits in reality. However, when Zsuzsanna later appears in my dream, she remains on my left when subliminal autosymbolism of our real sleeping position is present.

Vestibular System Personification is incidentally rendered as our youngest daughter in this case. There is no modulating RAS factor or personification thereof and my dream self’s concern is illusory and ambiguous as in many past dreams of this nature.

The holes in the roof represent neural OR gating of my conscious self identity (which has featured in many past dreams as such), to my dream self’s right as I am sleeping on my left side, my right side more exposed to my real environment. The larger hole, closest to my dream self, opens to my consciousness precursor, the other, Zsuzsanna’s. Neural OR gating means that my conscious self is manipulating my dream, with my personified subconscious (dream self) being only subliminally aware of the implications (that is, without full recall of the dream state, as the subconscious level lacks viable intelligence and temporality). To clarify, my conscious self is subliminally aware of being in the dream state, though my dream self is not (and does not even recall what a dream is), though my dream’s autosymbolism is still based on a value of “one” (OR gate). This is why there is a hole in the roof and why my dream self can see it through the ceiling (liminal space divider, that is, a neural pattern between dream self and conscious self).

The cat is a precursory emergent consciousness factor (as a common liminal space denizen). My dream self is aware of its autosymbolism, which links a thread to my conscious self identity of which tries to reinduce and sustain the dream state by willing it to rain. (Even though in real life, rain coming into our home after the roof was torn off was obviously a negative event.)

---

Morning of February 15, 2018. Thursday.



My dream starts in a house that I had never lived in. It seems to be what would have been the second house west of the King Street mansion, where I have not lived in over twenty years. My wife Zsuzsanna is with me. We had apparently been sleeping on the porch. However, two people are talking very loudly kitty-corner (diagonally) from the intersection on our street, and they are on West 10th Street. They are on their porch. It is three o'clock in the morning.

I am annoyed, as I want to sleep longer (though I do not feel tired in my dream so its link to a biological need for more sleep is not a key factor here, especially as first-level dream state indicators or DSI1s, such as beds or other subliminal signs of being in the dream state occur in over twenty percent of my dreams as does vestibular system autosymbolism). Eventually, a police officer shows up in a police car on the other side of the street. He notices me at the porch windows and I point with my right finger in the direction of the annoying people (to my right, which means I have subliminal awareness that I am in the dream state, as I sleep on my left side, which is resultantly more closed off from the environment I sleep in). He goes over to tell them not to be doing this. (I assume that someone else had called the police.)

A short time later, Zsuzsanna and I are in the Cubitis house without my dream self even noticing. It is still around three o’clock in the morning, yet I notice the sky has the appearance of approaching dawn. (I see this through the back and front windows, in that order. I am never outside at any point in this dream.) This concerns me. I know it probably means humanity does not have much longer. Still, Zsuzsanna has a cheerful attitude and it seems that it may actually be a lesser threat than I had thought, as it might be normal for this time of year. I am overheated when I wake but not with as ill of a feeling as I sometimes get when it is too warm.

---

Two environmental factors had influence on this dream; the heat, and someone talking outside our window as I was sleeping. Still, the sun symbolizes emergent consciousness and dawn would be analogous to leaving the dream state. RAS does not take the form of a police officer very often, but it is a good indicator, as RAS could be seen as a biological “police officer”, with the purpose of preventing sleep from lasting too long, especially under perceived real environmental aspects as a survival mechanism.

Because of this dream, I can more specifically validate the intersection symbolism as relevant to most dreams that feature this as a main focus. It is simply autosymbolism for the neural gating of RAS mediation, the subliminal choice to remain asleep or to wake. The evidence is obvious. The police officer as RAS, though not here inherent to the WAF in this case as he is on the opposite side of the street rather than being close to my dream self, is going to the house kitty corner from where Zsuzsanna and I are sleeping on the porch (which is autosymbolism for a specific level of unconsciousness closer to the end of the sleep cycle). I point out (to RAS) the house diagonally from where I am (and this is actually a form of faux lucidity with actual liminal dream control being a lesser factor, faux lucidity being dream self behavior based on the virtuous circle of dream state knowledge without being lucid and liminal dream control more about creating and controlling the dream at its core without recall of what a dream is as in apex lucidity). Instead of dominating my dreams as RAS usually does in the final stage of the sleep-wake transition, he goes over to tell them to stop so that Zsuzsanna and I can sleep (dream) longer. However, even though RAS autosymbolism did not trigger the WAF (waking alert factor), I see evidence of the approaching day, "sooner and brighter than I want”, as the emergent consciousness factor, and in this heat, it is seen as a somewhat negative environmental aspect.

---

Morning of February 14, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,685-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec.



My dream’s irrelevant setting is the dining room of the Loomis Street house. Zsuzsanna is with me (mostly remaining on my left as in our sleeping orientation). I am digging up roots from parts of sections of grass for a new garden within the “ground” (floor), so only dirt remains.

After spending several minutes pulling roots from the dirt of the dining room “floor,” I notice the end of a section of a little culvert within a hole in the ground of about four inches deep.

When I focus on the little culvert, I think an animal may live in it or that it leads to the animal’s home underground. (I do not consider how ridiculous the idea is for an animal to build a tiny culvert as if by human design). There is a familiar anticipatory feeling caused by the subliminal expectation of waking process dynamics.

I briefly mention it to Zsuzsanna. My older sister Marilyn makes a brief appearance (mostly as she was in the 1960s) and I have illogical thoughts about whether she had died. Because of her death, Bob is moving her belongings even though she had been in the house minutes before.

An answer to my expectation begins. A tiny grayish snake (though of various shades, including a brown tone) crawls from the little culvert. It is only about the size of an earthworm. It eventually crawls to the kitchen. My dreaming mind is expecting this, but it is so vague, the snake stops moving. I consider I may have killed it with my thoughts.

Looking into the living room from the dining room, I see about a dozen long blades of grass on the floor. There seems to be an unrealistically large table taking up much of the living room as I am looking under it from the opposite end of the dining room. I wonder if one of these grass pieces is the snake (which makes no sense as it had just been in the kitchen). There is never a perceived threat. It is as if my dream self is trying to activate RAS again by anticipating a small snake manifesting from a grass blade. No snake appears, and I awake, too warm (even with our fan on).

---

Morning of February 10, 2018. Saturday.



These segments come from the last two hours or so of sleep, of which there are usually a dozen or more segments, not counting the circadian rhythms autosymbolism of which I rarely document anymore, as it is usually of the same imagery or implication (other than at 07 here).

---

04. Zsuzsanna is in our bed, apparently sleeping, though it is on a beach. Ocean waves are rolling in, but not as a threat, more like associations with the healing nature of sleep (as water is autosymbolism for the dream state itself).

05. Three unknown girls are together, seemingly sharing one drink (in one glass) but they eventually start shifting identities and appearance too fast to really acknowledge with stable dream self focus, about one per second, which is usually an apex lucidity trigger. In this case, I feel that one may be meant to represent Zsuzsanna. However, upon approach, they are all mannequins, which is RAS autosymbolism from the dream self not having a real physical body, the same as with dolls and robots when rendered as such.

06. I am watching a gondola, trying to decide if I want to be in it, vaguely remembering the autosymbolism for going to another level of unconsciousness (and water reinduction).

07. I am standing at a window (perceived as our bedroom window), undressed, in semidarkness, looking through rattan blinds. I vaguely consider, in only partial lucidity, that this is “wrong”, without fully realizing that our bed’s head is adjacent to the window in reality (thus no place for me to stand), and that we no longer have the blinds after they were destroyed in the November storm that had torn the roof from our house. I have long believed that, other than prescient threads, dreams typically render everything wrongly so as the perceptions do not become a part of viable unconscious memory as in contrast to faux RAS-based memory, which is specifically used in RAS mediation (neural gating) for sleep-wake transitions. This is in contrast to all the people who write about the “subconscious”, of which nearly all that is written is based on incorrect beliefs or popular superstition.

11. I am somehow able to see my feet and legs through my bed sheet, which is transparent. Oddly, even though I had been lucid moments before, I am trying to assign this to a real-life featue. Meanwhile, I “remember” that Zsuzsanna is sitting on a beach, waiting for a healing ritual in sleep paralysis. (A beach is a liminal space transition between different levels of unconsciousness and is used as such in mastership meditation.)

12. I seem to be in Cubitis, and if so, it is likely implied to be a backroad between my old rural home and where I went to school in town. I watch a tortoise as it crosses the road, from my side to the opposite side (west to east). Eventually, four small flames emerge from the tortoise’s shell, one from where each leg had retracted. Apparently, it becomes a miniature version of Gamera (the otherwise giant flying turtle-like monster or kaiju from a series of Japanese films). (This is apparently a carryover from a dream of February 3, where a flame comes from each bottom corner of each boxcar that flies in the air. The association seems to be that, as turtles can symbolize the dream self as being asleep in reality, a boxcar is also a setting where people sleep, such as homeless people in transition. I had not made that obvious connection on February 3.) I look back to see tidal pools and recognize this as water lowering waking symbolism in addition to the return flight waking symbolism (most common form due to ambiguous vestibular system dynamics naturally triggered by being unconscious in REM.)

13. In my most vivid waking transition, I am in the backyard at Stadcor Street in Brisbane (Wavell Heights), where we have not lived in years. The backyard is bigger and the house is implied to be more north of a much wider side yard area at the south. There are also several trees throughout the backyard, of which were never there in reality. It seems to be early morning and is still somewhat dark out but clear enough to see most detail. I sense the waking alert factor (WAF) of RAS mediation (though in false lucidity, not active), but I wish to explore more. However, RAS will have none of that. A large cane toad is present as RAS. It becomes a pest. Vestibular system ambiguity becomes more dominant and the toad swells up like a puffer fish and moves through the air as if manipulated by a varying wind (but not very realistic, as it moves through the air too slowly to be a factor of wind). At one point, as it slowly randomly blows about in the air, yet I just happen to be in its path, the cane toad’s mouth makes contact with my hand. I continuously remain wary of it, and maintain focus on its parotoid glands, though I notice there is minimal bufotoxin already on its body. It is quite silly really; a puffed-up cane toad being carried about by a nearly non-existent wind and tapping against my arms or hands at times as if it was based on magnetism or as a metaphor of slowed film footage. (I guess it is better than being “surprised” by the core WAF as a vivid rendering of a snake, of which apes and even lemurs probably dream about a lot as well.) I eventually wake.

---

Morning of February 5, 2018. Monday.



I enter an unusual state of faux lucidity, where I have the awareness of what the dream state is and how to create and manipulate dreams, but I do not have my conscious self identity or full realization I am dreaming at the time even as I am creating and manipulating my dream (a bizarre enigma that cannot be resolved in waking life thought, yet which I otherwise experience very often). This is different from states where I am aware of my conscious self at one level, yet do not recall what a dream is, though I am still able to greatly influence dream events and features. This validates that the nature of RAS mediation is not predictable due to the variations of circadian rhythms, as the biological need to wake varies depending on depth of sleep, physical needs, and certain thought processes - many of which are random (for example, threads of something seen on television or material from a book).

I step into the dream state, yet immediately lose conscious self monitoring. I find myself walking through an open area that seems to be a wide street in an unfamiliar city. I am thinking to myself about what time period that I want the dream’s setting to occur in. I think about it being the 1920s, 1930s, or 1940s, and decide I will make it the 1930s.

I watch people walk around, dressed as if they were from the 1930s (although it had been the 1920s before I willed the change). I offer to help an unfamiliar woman (of about fifty) by carrying her package, but she is not interested in me helping her.

Next, I focus on dream state indicators (still without viable awareness that I am dreaming at the time, as this is by residual threads of habit in the lucid dream state since childhood). I find myself in the southwest bedroom of Cubitis (where I have not been since June of 1978). A young version of Zsuzsanna is in the bed, which is aligned along the south wall, head at the southwest corner. I create a radio for her to listen to, but then I am trying to remember if the songs that are playing are from the 1930s or from a much later period, as I do not want to alarm her with inexplicable sounds.

I get distracted and summon a group of dream characters to then look through the door of my room. However, the doorway opens into a landscape instead of my old Cubitis bedroom. I create the essence of a dinosaur in the distance (a typical act in faux lucidity since childhood) and tell the unknown people to watch. The dinosaur eventually appears, but is like a mix of stegosaurus and tyrannosaurus. It moves over the top of a mountain, from right to left in profile (subliminal reinduction attempt), and roars. It is far away at this time and poses no threat.

From here, I go back to the southwest bedroom, but then RAS mediation temporarily increases and I go into the bathroom (and although I do have to use the bathroom in reality, it is not yet that intense a wake-up call), as I am aware the dinosaur is in the house (which makes no sense as it would be too big) and I am now wary of it (even though I had deliberately created it minutes before). I close the door to subliminally avoid the waking activation. I feel soft weight pressing against the door, but I am able to keep it closed. Still, RAS mediation triggers an offset dream of a different level of awareness rather than doorway waking symbolism fully activating.

Entering a different dream state and level of awareness, I then find myself walking with a group of people that I had summoned. Zsuzsanna is present as she is now. We are all walking through an unknown city.

Ahead, and to our right, next to the curb, is an oversized vehicle that resembles a giant stagecoach (more like a stagecoach illogically mixed with a circus train car and doubled in size). It is basically a cage on wheels in the shape of a giant colorful stagecoach. The area behind where the driver would sit is an open area where a lion jumps up and looks down at us. There are other lions in the cage in the bottom area. I am thinking that the lion will jump down near us, but it remains in its location, as something vague in the back of my mind reminds me of subliminal dream manipulation but not directly and not with viable lucidity. This is a bizarre enigma, to subliminally reflect on subliminal (non-lucid) control of the dream state without being viably aware of being in the dream state and yet controlling the dream anyway.

From here, there is an area where people are watching a gorilla walk around. P.T. Barnum is present and showing off the gorilla. There is a cage, and straw covers the street upon where the cage had been placed, but the gorilla is able to leave the cage through the open area. There is no threat however, and the people do not seem that impressed. There is an unknown girl present and I tell her to become part of the scene so that there is an additional ape for the people to view. She does not look like a gorilla of course, but I eventually decide to make her with hair all over. She goes over to the gorilla and P.T. Barnum seems slightly puzzled but somewhat appreciative, even though the girl is not actually a gorilla or acts like one. It seems the public will believe anything, which pleases him. I vaguely remember the Barnum effect, which relates to people who believe in “dream interpretation”. My dream eventually fades with no dominant RAS event. (P.T. Barnum is the personified preconscious in this case, though my dream self already has a thread of emergent consciousness evidenced by my odd state of faux lucidity, so I wake without the need for a strong emotion as the waking alert factor.)

---

Morning of January 27, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,667-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



Zsuzsanna and Marilyn are present. (My dream self does not recall Marilyn had died.) We are in the Loomis Street house in the open area between the living room and dining room. I face west towards the dining room. I begin to play a computer game that my youngest son had been playing. It resembles a pool table, but there seems to be only one corner pocket. Several creatures of different sizes sit on it. I need to deliver the ball into the pocket before an animal gets to it, making it harder to play. There is also a gun with which I can shoot the animal.

As I play, Marilyn informs me about going out to buy a meal, talking about a hamburger, asking if I want one. I nod lightly. Meanwhile, the game becomes real. That is, there is now a pool table in the room, replacing the computer workstation. My dream self does not register the change. I am near one corner. There is a cat atop the table, but I am aware it is a computer-generated tangible hologram. I reach over to pick up the light gray rubber ball and hold it over the pocket to drop it in. I am unsure if this is the way to play, as it seems too simple in contrast to its previous difficulty. A different cat and ball appear, and I perform the same act again. My sense of touch as I pick up, hold, and drop the rubber ball, is augmented.

---

Morning of January 26, 2018. Friday.



I become aware of being in the living room of the Cubitis house. (No threads of my present conscious self identity are extant at this time.)

My father is alive and as he was in the 1960s. I have no recall of his death in 1979. He is standing near the north end of the living room. I am sitting closer to the kitchenette.

A television is on for a short time. It shows a group of teenagers yelling and going into a school building. “I never really liked school,” I tell my father, “I would have rather gone to a labor camp, chopping wood or laying bricks.” My father seems passive but expresses mild interest in what I am saying. Eventually, I decide that this is not entirely true, as I did not mind elementary school so much. (This is mainly a result of the typical failure of viable memories in the dream state. I did not really dislike school as much as my fictional dream self implies here. It seems to be a reference to when I actually did chop wood, use a fence pole digger, and help build a fence instead of going to middle school for a short time, when the “outdoor classroom” was first being designed and built in Florida.)

Eventually, I get the impression that I can influence the movement of the curtain on the east window, closest to the kitchenette. Although I am not lucid, I start to notice that the curtain responds directly to what I say aloud (similar to how a real-time scripted dream works, and yet, again, there is no lucidity at any point). My father goes to the southwest bedroom as I remain in the living room. After I am sure I am controlling the curtain, I call to him to show him what I can do, but I do not see him. The situation is interesting but somewhat eerie. “Up to the ceiling,” I say, and the curtain obeys, swaying and moving to become flat against the ceiling. “Twist around,” I say, and the curtain twists itself around. “To the right,” I say, and the curtain slowly moves toward the kitchenette. I do this about twenty times, with at least five different instructions, and they always work.

I become distracted by a noise in the backyard. Looking out, I notice a tidal wave, all along the eastern horizon, approaching from a distance. It seems to be nighttime, but I can see the whiteness of the high foamy wave.

“Tidal wave, there is a tidal wave coming,” I yell. I do not see my father come out, but I am trying to warn him. Soon, the tidal wave hits the house. I can feel the house shake. I see and feel water coming in through the east windows. It flows quickly throughout the living room and my bedroom, and yet there is no direct impact of water on my body, only some cool refreshing splashes. Still, I yell, seeing that several high stacks of paper with documented dreams, under my bed, are apparently soaked, and I slowly recall Zsuzsanna’s dream journals as well. There is wetness, but no indication of flooding over the floor at this point.

I yell in annoyance just as I hear Zsuzsanna and our children on the carport. I get the impression that they had just returned from shopping or the library. Zsuzsanna calls out to me, wondering what is going on. There is no indication that the tidal wave had affected their approach to the house, or that they had even seen it (which of course is ludicrous if one wants to force logic on dreams where none exists).

She and our children walk through the front door. “Everything is wet,” I say loudly. “Not everything?” Zsuzsanna asks hopefully. “Everything,” I confirm. I wake at this point, with Zsuzsanna standing near our bed in reality and our youngest daughter nearby. I am somewhat confused as to whether our oldest daughter is in the area since she had been in my dream, though I do not see her.

---

This dream is partly a beautiful connection to a fully lucid childhood dream, “The Staged Bull” from 1971 (as well as several other dreams). Both dreams use curtains as the division between the dream self and the conscious self and the perceived danger of RAS (as the waking alert factor), familiar autosymbolism for the waking transition. In this dream, my subliminal focus on reinduction brings a tidal wave (also a circadian rhythms factor) rather than the usual passive connection to water rising at the beginning of most sleeps. (This is also an association with the indoor rain we had in real life after our roof was torn off, though in reality, our dream journals did not get wet.) The typical doorway waking symbolism is utilized by RAS here, with no recall that Zsuzsanna had never been to America, let alone Cubitis (and as I have written before, I believe this is to prevent dream memories from being mistaken as having real-life meaning other than when prescient). My father wanders off to a bedroom (dream state indicator) and my control of the curtains seems like an amazing breakthrough in adding one more thread of dream knowledge in validating the autosymbolic meaning they entail. (Both autosymbolism for liminal space division and an association with control of the dream state as an implied stage, which also has curtains, yet also has the association with stage of sleep.) In previous dreams, I had chosen to “freeze” tidal waves and nuclear explosions in order to sustain the dream state and make it last for ten to fifteen additional minutes.

---