Blue_Opossum

Morning of January 14, 2019. Monday.

Dream #: 19,019-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



Zsuzsanna and I are on the back porch of our present home on W Street seemingly before dawn though there is enough light to discern images. My perception is extraordinarily vivid though I am not aware I am dreaming. She is to my left (our sleeping orientation). We are sitting and facing south toward our backyard. There is a big table (that does not exist in reality) that fills most of the space of our porch to the right of the back door (when facing the back of our house).

I notice two features, both of which are yellow and black and about two feet apart, their heads facing toward the backyard. The closest to me looks like a soft toy. It is an elongated bee. The other one has a similar appearance but changes over time. I ask Zsuzsanna if it is an animal.

“That’s just fuzz,” she says.

Making an effort to discern the farthest feature more clearly, I see it is a big yellow and black caterpillar as long as my forearm and with long hairs. I gaze at it in wonder and soon realize I am dreaming, but I eventually wake without attempting to take control.

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One of the only statements I have ever read in any public source that held any truth regarding dreams is: “Similarly, he (Herbert Silberer) has shown that the conclusions of some dreams or some divisions in their content merely signify the dreamer’s own perception of his sleeping and waking.” (This is one of the only factors of dreams with established validity.) It goes on to say, “in persons who are gifted philosophically and accustomed to introspection it may become very evident.” (It was evident to me when I was very young, yet many people never realize it and consequently, pursue “interpretation.”)

This dream renders the same processes in the same order as tens of thousands of previous examples since early childhood (and it is very similar in content to many others) but holds the interconsciousness thread that features Zsuzsanna, an additional emerging consciousness precursor. “That’s just fuzz” means I am not yet fully discerning enigmatic space (and aware I am dreaming). Porches are “bridges” in enigmatic space and represent liminal space in waking life as being a “bridge” between one’s house and the outside.

The final emerging consciousness factor is the big yellow caterpillar. It correlates with vestibular system dynamics. Yellow is only discernible in a dream in becoming more aware of my dream self and simultaneously closer to my conscious self identity. A caterpillar is a precursor to flight as a butterfly. The bee is a soft toy here (a pillow association and thus a dream state indicator). Bees typically represent the increased neural activity of the waking process.

The soft toy and the caterpillar are dual autosymbolism. (Dreams are not symbolic in the conventional sense.) They are on my left because they are precursors rather than active anticipation of the process. (I most often sleep on my left side.)

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Morning of November 19, 2017. Sunday.



There is a dream scenario related to John-Boy Walton, though it is too modern to relate directly to “The Waltons” in a logical sense. It has something to do with him having a book on bondage and other adult content.

In an unrelated offset sequence, I have to get a bee out of my left ear. I tilt my head to the left while in bed and even tap the right side of my head and shake my head a little (even though, of course, the dream self does not have a physical head). Over time, the bee eventually comes out and I wake as soon as it does. It does not bother me that much as I know the process of getting it out is working.

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The first part of my dream likely relates to our oldest son (although John-Boy has appeared in a number of my dreams since I first saw “The Homecoming”). The “adult content” and “bondage” is likely more about him now being an adult and working as there were no clearer graphic adult implications.

The rest of my dream is typical waking autosymbolism though unique as always and more defined than usual. There is the usual flight symbol that represents the return to wakefulness after being unconscious (vestibular system correlation). A buzzing insect typically relates to increasing neural energy upon becoming more aware of the return to consciousness. This all relates more specifically to inner ear dynamics (and that which causes partial unconsciousness or dizziness in some cases, though I do not have that problem) and RAS (Reticular Activating System). Another dream, “Ear or Wing?”, from July 5, 2016, had the same meaning (as do the majority of my dreams since childhood), though in that dream, a sketchy image of a left ear becomes more like the sketchy image of a bird’s wing.

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Morning of September 29, 1981. Tuesday.



A seemingly shorter dream (after a series of unrelated dreams), deemed shorter in conscious afterthought (which consequently probably seemed much longer than it was, almost “timeless” at the time) involved a boy’s spirit (a young boy, Scott R, who my sister was watching in real life at the time, as his mother had abandoned him) somehow becoming part of a bumblebee, yet also moving about in an invisible “cloud” of some kind at the same time. He is singing a melancholy song about being a bumblebee. One line is “Beh-beh-beh-bumblebee” (which is not a stutter but a slow musical intonation). It almost seems like a sort of prayer as well as a “cheerful” yet somehow mournful inference.

At the waking stage, he lands on the top of the south fence of the backyard of my sister’s house on Loomis Street, which divides her backyard and the neighbor’s backyard.

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This is part 2 of a random but extensive set of dreams pertaining primarily to fence autosymbolism (which means it is inherent to the dream state, not waking life). A fence is rendered as a metaphorical barrier between the dream state and the waking world, though can also serve as induction and dream state revivification in some cases (though not as often as doors do in my case).

In addition to liminal space autosymbolism, the very common dynamic of vestibular system correlation is present, with a bee as representing synaptic gating (due to the association with a bee “buzzing” and loosely associated with electricity as such). Thus, the bee is the preconscious factor of this dream. (The preconscious is often personified, and because the bee seems to have Scott’s essence on one level, it is partial personification here.)

An additional but inexplicable factor is that the boy (Scott) also had the same dream during the same time period (though from his viewpoint as actually seeming to be a singing bee). Most people do not accept shared dreaming (or in fact anything they cannot explain) even though I have experienced it continuously since earliest memory, especially with Zsuzsanna. However, this series is for explaining fence autosymbolism and to help rise above the deception of “interpretation”. People will believe whatever they want regardless of someone else’s knowledge and experience. After all, each life is unique.

In part 1, I wrote a little about the relevance of the rabbit. In that dream, it was a factor of returning to deeper sleep (even though it occurred during what would otherwise be the waking process), while this dream is a factor of closeness to waking (and was the last dream of my sleep cycle). (The rabbit goes under the fence but is stuck for a time within the fence itself. The bee in this dream lands on the fence with the assumption it will keep flying. Neither dream relates to waking life, but the dreaming process itself.)

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Morning of November 12, 1967. Sunday.



My parents and I are living in what seems like a large, long, abandoned brick building, seemingly off a lesser-used back road (narrower end to the road), that could have served as a school at one time, such as a large Kindergarten venue. I am not sure what state it is in, probably Wisconsin and in a rural area of La Crosse. There is also the idea that my sister Marilyn (unmarried in my dream?) and brother Jim may also be living there. There are no other buildings around and I do not see any cars anywhere. It is mostly like an open field outside of our home. I do not actually see my parents or relatives.

There are a lot of outer (oriented inward) corners where outside walls join. A large bee is in one of these inward-oriented corners. There are sparse (pale violet) wildflowers here and there around the building, but mostly sparse grass, both green and dry, as high as seven inches or so in some spots. I walk around outside and am somewhat concerned about the bee following me or possibly even stinging me. This does not happen, though. I try not to do anything that will draw the bee’s attention even when it is on the other side of the building. Also, at a couple points, I can carefully look around a wall to an inward-corner to tell if the bee is in that particular area or not.

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This was related to a real life event and a comment by my brother Jim regarding bees; “If you leave them alone, they will leave you alone”. I try to hold onto that idea in my dream, the idea of which probably created my dream to test that theory in the first place, thus this dream has been “explained” as a “testing ground”. Evidence: Isolated field and school-like building. The inward-corners almost like a “two-sided box” to check progress now and then.

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“The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes.” - Mark Nepo

Morning of November 26, 1976. Friday.



In my dream, my last one of this morning (the sun already up in reality) it seems to be late morning, perhaps around ten o'clock or later, as my Cubitis bedroom is bright from daylight streaming in through the windows. I am still aware that it is winter. It does not seem that cold to me, though. Though it is Friday morning, I get a sense that it is Saturday morning.

I am in my bed, having seemingly been sleeping and not yet fully awake. My bed (lengthways east to west) is out from the left side of my bedroom’s door - that is, the east inner door to our living room from my room’s viewpoint (in contrast to the door to our carport from my room, on my north wall). I become aware of several bees slowly coming into my room from under the door. They do not sting me or even come near me, and I am only slightly wary of a potential danger. They seem a bit disorganized and very slow, sort of hovering in the air (close to the floor) at times, maybe even a bit sluggish from the cold. (In real life, there is a big enough gap under this door for larger bees to come through from the living room, though this has never been much of a concern).

Although I notice a few more large bees over time (though not unrealistically large), nothing happens. They mostly remain in the area near my door and not much higher than a foot from the floor.

This dream colored my mood in a curious way, not in a negative sense, just of an unusual indescribable elusive awareness. This may be related to my associations regarding my quitting of school (in the first few weeks of tenth grade), as bees used to fly in and out of empty soda cans within a small fenced-in area for placing recyclables near the roofed outdoor lunch area - and thus were sometimes very annoying. However, a few friends and I later spent more time near the outer north wall in the same general area though where no other students went, even though it was just around the corner. Another influence may have related to having seen “The Savage Bees” the previous Monday, which probably combined into a composite association (relating to those afternoons at high school during lunch).