Blue_Opossum

Night of August 4, 2015. Tuesday.



Here I go with a bad habit of a titular trend again (the other being “Not Quite…”). My apologies.

My wife Zsuzsanna and I are walking through a (unknown) city and enjoying our moments together. I sense an inner glow and realize we are not quite “human” in the sense of being able to blend in with others randomly wandering about in the streets.

I am walking closer to a group of people when it seems my wife says “I don’t know if we should be doing this”. It is very clear and even resonates as my wife’s voice, yet at the same time, there is sudden micro-amnesia and I cannot remember if I had said it or she did.

What she meant was that I should not attempt to communicate in any way with ordinary people (or at least the people in the area). A man turns around and looks in our direction. My wife transforms into her human form with an apparent optical illusion as the light above and behind her is actually the sun. The man looks confused for a short time, because the sun had shifted from one side of the sky to the other to match its new implied placement behind us.

“I read your wife’s lips in the video”, he says somewhat sarcastically. “Your wife was talking about reincarnation.” (What sort of idiot do we have here?) Aha, I get it now. She was talking about the carnations on the table beside her, not reincarnation (in my dream she had actually apparently said “red carnation” which looks like “reincarnation” to a lip reader, I would guess). The mob looks restless.

I then start to “recall” (via false memory) that my wife is the reincarnation of Pearl Dower. This will not do even though it makes a fair amount of sense through my dream’s hazy state of mind. We need to leave the area before more people arrive. My thoughts become muddled. There is no exact date of death for Pearl that I know of (and another Pearl died who would have been a half-sister before I was born) so I cannot confirm the idea is even feasible in the first place. I am trying to reason it out. It is probably just another annoying puzzle that will not ever go anywhere. Just as I come out of my dream, I clearly hear someone (an older male) shout “Sit down!” as if some sort of echo from a meeting, perhaps seconds previously, or very long ago.

Morning of October 13, 2014. Monday.



There were (among other dreams on this date) three dreams that slightly ran into each other. The last one was extraordinarily lucid, of the type of apex lucidity I do not usually post online, though there is a humorous side here. I enter the state somewhat slowly, being aware of the various environmental features which come into focus and which I know are solely in-dream (which is typical of this state since earliest memory). Finally, when I am in the full-body state, having arrived, so to speak, I notice it is a version of my sister Marilyn’s house, being similar to her living room. This was probably residue from the previous longer dream (which was non-lucid). Within a short time, with no need to mentally will a scenario, a goddess-like girl appears, seemingly a younger version of my wife but dressed somewhat atypically. (The Loomis Street house is where I was staying when she first wrote to me in 1991.) I am fascinated with the realism and reach out for a full embrace. She seemed to have walked from around a corner, although technically there was no corner and it was more like walking from behind an invisible prism of human height. I am amazed by the clarity and the beauty of the imagery. However, I am also aware of environmental noises at times (in the real environment as I am sleeping).

I decide to leave the dream state to make sure my real body is in a comfortable position. However, when I “wake”, I do not notice right off that I have had a false awakening into another dream (though I am not lucid now) and in much the same environment. Eventually, I do come to realize that I went into a less vivid dream rather than really waking up, which seriously annoys me, so then I do wake up.

Previously, my earlier dream was a typical “search” type where I just look for old documents and such. I had wanted my mother’s old letters to my sister to do more research on my life that I had not documented myself, as she wrote quite often to Marilyn from mid-1967 to mid-1978. However, after my sister died in real life it was the typical fiasco where one person (not even a relative, but a supposed “friend” of hers) decides to throw everything out with no consideration for anyone else in the family or even attempting to communicate with anyone. In my dream, though, I actually see a younger version of my sister walking to one of her dressers and she seems slightly confused by how everything has been put into bundles, with almost everything in her house in stacks (including clothes, books, personal documents, and so on). I do manage to find some letters, which I believe are the ones I want. There is also a scene where a box has been put aside with certain things wrapped for my oldest daughter. There are many manila envelopes in the front room that seem sealed, some apparently related to comic books I had made for her (far more than in reality).

In another dream, I am seeing most of humanity as a different “species” than myself, which is no surprise. People, that is human beings, start out as some sort of chimpanzee-like being and as they grow older, they turn into a creature that resembles a baby elephant. This is possibly a play on how “apocalyptic” elephants came from representing my childhood fear (pachydermophobia developed out of real-life events) to representing people falsely promoting soon-upcoming worst-case scenarios (doomsday or judgement “trumpeting”).

Morning of October 3, 2014. Friday.



I am living in a very large castle that, in some ways, is somewhat like the inside of a modern shopping mall in layout, though also has features of a boarding house (though more expansive). I am not sure of my place in this gated society. I walk around the environment without incident for a time. Assuming the orientation is relative to my present home’s (though there is no technical reason why it should be) it is longer from west to east and with a wide hall (west assumed to be the front though I am not outside of that area).

There seems to be the memory of a girl in my care. She is eleven years old and with dark hair and green eyes and is seemingly a young version of my wife (even though I seem more of a step father here). I become aware of this when she is ready to leave in a car (on the east end) to go to a party with several other people. This seems to be some sort of party representing finality of something (such as the last day of a school year). She is wearing an elaborate light blue gown. There are at least two well-known celebrities in the car who I think are female pop stars though there are males as well. I have concern for her safety and tell her to get out of the car and to come back into the castle. This concern is based on awareness of mainstream pop culture (and my total dislike of it) and “knowing” that drugs or alcohol may be freely available at the other location (though later, the location actually seems to be another part of the same castle - unless they visited elsewhere before coming to a different area of the castle to party).

At first she seems slightly confused and a bit annoyed, but becomes more “stable” as well as passive in my decision. From here, I go around “telling people off” about their attempt to destroy the child’s soul and natural (or instinctive) self-governance regarding right and wrong (also relative to possibly latent divine abilities such as healing and precognition). Although I take full control at this point, I am not lucid in any way.

One of the people I “tell off” about the event seems to be her birth mother (though I do not recognize her - though I do say her name which I have forgotten, though I think it may be Gretchen), who is being kept in a holding cell (unsure of the crime she is there for) that is not that secure and with at least three other females around her age lounging about on the floor. It is very similar to a low-fenced rectangular area where people pay a small fee to feed smaller animals during some expos and it is out from the middle of one wall in a much larger room. A bit of hay is on the floor for bedding. She seems angry that I have done this but I am not impressed at all by her supposed reasoning which seems shared by many - “fun at all costs” and subjecting oneself to endless passive entertainment like a slow death. I ask her if she is okay and she makes a remark about two male drunks having disturbed her sleep the previous evening by yelling randomly around 3 am when walking down the street (from the southeast). It does not concern me as they were not a threat to the security of the castle (or gated city) at any point.

Over time, I begin to single out and eliminate the people associated with pop culture or erroneous beliefs (not through any type of violence but by spurring the castle’s seemingly ruling “public” into proper action and the removal of the offenders). A few people deny the charges and hide in their quarters for the duration but I know they will be gone soon, which means all undesirable music of particular defeatist phrasing types will no longer be extant in the entire region.

In a northeast section of the castle I use some sort of advanced testing equipment in the location where the party had taken place. It is some sort of powder with fluid-like properties (depending on what it falls on) made up of nanomachines. When most of the target is covered it creates a virtual monitor on all the surfaces with a report of the findings (down to the molecular structure). I try it on the stove they were to use at the party and all the sides then have many flashing instances of the word “warning” in red, white, and black; equidistant columns and rows by about three inches or so over the appliance. There is also a sort of buzzing alarm-like sound from somewhere (apparently a temporary virtual speaker formed by the nanomachines). The warning relates to both an illicit drug having been in contact with the oven as well as a poisonous chemical (associated with oven cleaner). This is only some of the evidence I will be gathering to oust all those I do not favor. I will be able to go over the whole castle and “recreate” it accordingly. “Invisible” (microscopic) nanomachines that clean or refurbish features of the in-dream environment (only the man-made ones) have been occurring more and more in my dreams since the beginning of the year. However, they serve a very similar function of where in-dream “magic” or mental focus have been used in the past.

Near the ending, the girl thanks me for my interest in her survival and development and speaks and acts with sincere and devoting mien and is now solely a faithful obsequious ally, it seems.

I am also considering if this is a “healing power” to “healing powder” transference (concerning ambiguity of my dream self’s faux memory) in recent dream trends due to liminal accidental “dream universe rewiring” in long-term meditation (due to the audio similarity of “power” and “powder” - as the nanomachines maintain a powder form with additional fluid or mist properties for the most part).

Aspects of this very loosely seem influenced by episode #01.03 and #01.04 of “Survivors” (2010), seen the night before. However, this general theme has been recurring since earliest memory in various ways.

Night of June 3, 2014. Tuesday.



I am moving out into this astounding landscape which is somewhat forest-like and somewhat (less dense) jungle-like, and slightly marsh-like. I am fully lucid for a time. The beauty is extraordinary and breathtaking, and everything seems to glow with an inner radiance (such as when looking at a photographic negative and black shadowy areas become white “light” and so on).

I approach this large sphere-shaped “cage” that may not actually be a cage but some sort of protective construct of what is inside. What is inside is an unknown black-haired female, sometimes moving into a fetal position, with a few items of inverted-clover jewelry set with very small stones and a silver belly-button inset item that is also like inverted (four-leaf) clover, but she is mostly hovering in the air (as if there is no gravity inside the structure), though there appear to be some sort of elaborate blankets and such inside as well; coppery and silvery, and some of a cobalt impression. The “bars” of the globe-like structure are at various random angles and distance from each other, and somewhat like a mix of spiderweb, silky and white “faux Spanish moss”, some sort of “raggedy” white felt, and some sort of pearl-like sparse “wire”. The trapezoidal space between these “bars” at the area of their most distant separation is enough to allow her to almost crawl out, I think. However, several times, the “bars” actually seem to be more like an energy form only, as they move into different uneven patterns randomly, similar to Z-like and Y-like forms, looking somewhat like globules of trailing spilled milk or perhaps organic or mist-like and tendril-like energy.

I approach the “cage” (which is hovering in the air with nothing attached and about a foot from the marshy ground) and her eyes glow with a turquoise luminescence, bordering on teal and leaving a lighter blue “afterglow” when turning her head (most all of her eyes - not just the irises). For a short time, I touch her fingers (the “bars” feel like some sort of algae-like texture blended with felt and I almost get the impression of quickly fizzing small bubbles on the surface) and feel a mild current of electricity that is just on the threshold of causing numbness. I ask her who she is and she simply stretches out her legs and floats upward more and I hear this sound like pool balls continuously hitting each other but slightly softer. She blows a kiss (or similar - it seems more like she is “sending energy”), but with her hand at the right side of her mouth in a vertical position rather than the typical horizontal and fingers forward extension.

A group of “tourists” are absentmindedly walking by, a couple nearly tripping on blades of grass (which really is not that long) giving the impression that it is their first time walking on grass or earth. I notice a large lion a short distance away. It opens its mouth, its tongue comes out (becoming a “red carpet”) and it sort of lies down on its stomach and appears more like some sort of ancient building for a time. I look inside of its mouth from a closer position and notice it is like looking into a passageway of stone blocks and there even seems to be torches higher on the “walls” inside.

The casually-dressed “leader” of the tourist group indicates that all the people (about fifteen or so) should follow him into the “building”. They walk into the “doorway” and turn down the implied hallway inside until they are all out of view. The lion then closes his mouth, blinks sleepily and begins to wash itself like a young cat and starts purring. I walk up to the lion and look into his eyes as if they were like a pair of binoculars. The people inside seem to be lost and confused and looking for the exit. Oh well… “Oh the humanity” I cheerfully joke, and start rolling on the ground laughing…

Morning of March 4, 2007. Sunday.

Dream #: 14,685-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



I am with my youngest son at a grocery store, which seems like the store closest to where we live, to the north, but perpendicular to how it is in real life. It is possible that the rest of my family is there and shopping in another part of the store.

There is an unknown woman whom I think works there. She is pretty and about thirty. It first seems as if she may be Italian, but she has a South American appearance as well. Her skin is slightly dark, and she seems to have an elaborate headpiece with bells or little silver balls on it. Later, I am unsure if she is a worker or someone who came into the store to talk to us. She reminds me slightly of a gypsy and also of my wife.

She thinks my son is either carrying or is in contact with the spirit of her grandfather in addition to another. She wants to ask my son a question. She whispers it in his left ear (something that I would never agree to in real life and it even feels wrong in my dream at first). She seems to be performing a ritual, mostly only a chant-like acknowledgment of my son’s “powers.” I feel a bit uneasy and unsure of what is going on. It almost seems I am only there to take my son back home so that he will not get lost.

I bow to have my son speak a name in my left ear rather loudly and clearly, but still somewhat like a whisper, but also seemingly meant to reassure me.

The name is “Akna.” (Is that the mysterious woman’s name?)

“Akna” does not sound familiar. A few thoughts go through my head. Acne? What is the word? Akna. Why Akna? Is it the last name of an unknown family member? I wake up, somewhat annoyed, as my dream did not seem to make sense regardless of how vivid it became.

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In Inuit mythology, Akna (“mother”) is a goddess of fertility and childbirth.

Akna is also the name of a goddess of motherhood and birthing in Maya mythology.

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My wife had a baby recently and needed to have a C-Section. I certainly do not remember reading or hearing about “Akna,” though.

Zsuzsanna told me our son had been doing some unusual songlike chanting before going to sleep, with a lot of m, n, and k sounds. My dream date matches the date circled in my her journal (though I had not seen it) about when she thought she would have our new baby (though it was earlier by C-section). Zsuzsanna has a theory that my dream is a result of her regret over not having her baby at the “right” time, but I have no regret and am glad she got through it. At this point, I also am wondering if it was our baby son implied as older in my dream, or our next-youngest son, although I think it was our next-youngest.

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