New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight

12/02/13

In Another Life
I am back in high school. I have absolutely no awareness of my waking life or that there is anything out of place. My name is Marcy, and I am sitting near the back of the room in a math class. It's Algebra. I'm not having any problems with it, I am good at math. More importantly, this is my last class of the day. I am anxious to get out of class and get home. I hope I can get out of the school without meeting up with the jerks that I always have problems with. Sarah, Beth, Maria, and Gene. The bell rang and I shove my books and papers into my backpack and hurry out the door. I am almost to the front door of the school when I see the very people I had been hoping to avoid. Sarah is there talking to her friends. I think I can get out of sight without being seen but it is too late. Sarah speaks loudly, saying watch out, it just got fatter in here. I look down at my body. I am moderately overweight, but it really isn't that much. Gene adds that it got uglier in here. Maria adds that it got stupider in here. Beth tries to add something but I can't understand her because she is laughing too hard. I don't want to let them bother me, but they do. It hurts. I feel like crying.

I hurry past them and out the door, figuring if that is it then I should count myself lucky. But that's not it. Sarah comes out first and shoves me to the ground. The others laugh. Gene and Beth grab my backpack from me, it had only been over one shoulder, and they take off with it. I need that! I chase after them, but I am slower since I am a bit fat. Sarah and Maria follow after me laughing and making comments about my bouncing ass. We reach the far fence of the school yard. I am so out of breath. Gene opens the backpack and starts tossing stuff out over the fence saying that it was all garbage. Beth asks Gene how she can touch stuff I have contaminated. As if just realizing that, Gene tosses the backpack over the fence as if it would bite her. Sarah shoves me into the fence and tells me the world would be better off if I went home and killed myself. I clumsily climb the fence to get my things. I fall down the other side, much to the girls' delight. I scrape my knee up, but that's it. I start collecting my things as the girls walk off, still laughing. After I get my things together I sit by the fence, tired, depressed. Why me? Why did everyone hate me? I start crying.

Not much time had passed before I sense someone watching me. I look up and see a man standing over me. He is wearing a hoodie and has very striking blue eyes. Not sure what a grown man would want with a 14 year old girl I move away a bit. He speaks in a friendly tone. He says not to go, he won't hurt me, he just saw me crying and wondered if I was ok. The fact that a complete stranger has shown concern in how I feel sets me off crying all over again. He asks what is wrong. I find his name is Alex. I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to tell him everything. About the girls harassing me here at school, harassing me online when I'm away from school, one time they had gotten physically violent and broken my nose… maybe Sarah is right and I should just kill myself. He listens sympathetically while I talk. He then holds one hand out to me to help me up. My hesitation has gone now, and I accept his help. He pulls me to my feet… but then he won't let go! He smiles in a friendly way, but what he says is not friendly at all. He says he lied when he said he wouldn't hurt me, this is actually going to hurt quite a bit. But it won't last long. And when it is done, those girls will never push me around again. No one will ever push me around again. I kick at him and try to pull away, I scream, but there is no one way out by the fence to hear me and he is much stronger than I am. He is holding my arm with his right hand… and his left hand is gone? His left hand has transformed into the claws of a beast? My first thought is Wolverine from X-Men. I'm being attacked by Wolverine?! I fight harder. Is this guy going to cut me? Yes, he is. He drives his claws into my mid section. A burning pain erupts from the place he stabbed me. He is holding me close now, whispering in my ear. He says again that it won't last long, so just hang on… it will be much better later. No one would ever hurt me again. Of course no one would hurt me! I was dying! Everything started fading to black. I wonder if anyone will miss me. Will anyone care? My mom would… my brother would… but no one at school would. They'd be glad. I am angry that they will get what they want, then I am swallowed by darkness.

I wake up sitting by the fence that goes around my school. My backpack is beside me. The light is fading. Oh, no! I fell asleep! I look at my stomach, but there is no gaping wound. No blood. Wow… that attack must have been a dream. Just a bad dream. I have to get home! I grab my backpack and run for home. I run as far as I can and then I walk fast. I am exhausted when I reach the house. There are police there, and my mother is beside herself with worry. She sees me and runs over and greets me with the biggest hug. But then she is angry. Where have I been? Why didn't I at least call? What happened? She called the police, she thought I'd been kidnapped or worse! I tell her about being harassed by the girls. I leave out the part about crying, she would consider that a weakness. I tell her I had been waiting by the fence for the girls to leave and I must have fallen asleep. I apologize many times. After a while of apologizing and having people check me out everyone decides it was an honest accident. The police leave, telling me to be more careful about where I fall asleep. I was lucky, but things do happen to girls out alone. I eat dinner, which is macaroni and cheese, then the rest of the evening is spent trying to get my homework done. But it's hard… I don't have as much time as usual since I fell asleep and had to explain everything so many times. And I can't shake the memory of the dream. The weirdest thing is I remember climbing the fence and falling and skinning my knee. But my knee isn't marked. No scratch or scrape, not even any dirt. I am unable to get my homework done before bed time. I am tired, so I crawl into bed and fall asleep right away.

My alarm wakes me up what seems like five minutes later. My sleep had been dreamless this time. I drag myself out of bed, eat some honey nut cheerios for breakfast, then I walk to school as usual. All in a haze, also as usual. As I get to school Sarah starts in on me right away. She tells me I forgot to kill myself last night. I try to ignore her. She asks if there is too much fat in the way for me to cut my wrists. I try to ignore her. She follows me down the hall to my locker while throwing out all the insults she can think of. My birth certificate should've been an apology letter from the condom factory. I'm not sure what a condom is. I should do the world a favor and disappear into fat air. They'd launch me into space but no space ship could lift me… and I'd scare the aliens. This continues. I go to my first class. Sarah is in that class so this offers me no escape. History class. I already don't like history, and with Sarah in the class, it's a nightmare. English class is next, and that offers me some reprieve. But Spanish class is the worst. Both Sarah and Beth are in the class, and the teacher doesn't seem to care what they say to me as long as it's in Spanish. Then there's lunch. I always eat alone. I have no friends. But this time I can't manage to eat alone. Sarah and friends are all around me. Sarah takes my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She takes a bite, then spits it out in my direction before throwing the sandwich in the trash and saying she shouldn't have done that. Now she's infected. She needs an antidote, quick! I escape into my Biology class after being harassed through lunch. Thankfully, Beth and Maria ignore me in my Humanities class. Maybe they've had enough for now. Algebra is a safe class, then it's time to go home.

Again I hope to get out before being spotted by Sarah and her friends, again I fail. When I see them I duck into the girls' bathroom, hoping they didn't see me. I go into one of the stalls. The bathroom is empty and quiet. I hear the door open and someone comes in. My heart sinks when I hear Sarah's voice. She says she knows I'm in there, calling me Fatsy instead of Marcy. About five minutes pass with her standing out there throwing vulgar insults, more vulgar than I normally hear. I figure I should just go past her and leave. I can't stay here all day. So I come out and head for the door. Sarah blocks my way and says not so fast. She says she was being serious about me killing myself. I should do it. Cut the wrists. Warm water would help me bleed out faster. Hanging is an option if I have a rope. Or if my parents have a gun… no, they must not or they would've killed me a long time ago. After being hounded all day I am getting mad. I tell Sarah to get out of the way. She asks who's going to make her. She asks what I'm going to do about it. I think she wants to get into a fight but wants me to start it for some reason. She wants me to throw the first punch. She pushes at me and I briefly lose my balance. Fine… if she wants me to throw the first punch, I will! I punch her in the stomach, hoping to knock the wind out of her. To my stunned horror, my fist actually goes INTO her stomach, spraying blood everywhere. Sarah doubles over and vomits blood. I pull my fist back, I hadn't meant to do that! Really! As I pull my fist back it's like Sarah's insides are somehow caught on it, a stream of bloody tissue flows out of her wound and onto me. I think I might vomit now. The rest of Sarah's body dissolves into a bloody stream and flows onto me. The disgusting mess seems to soak into my body and then it's gone. No blood, no mess, no Sarah. I stand there in shock.

I walk out of the bathroom in a trance, leaving my backpack behind. I walk aimlessly, across the school yard. To the fence where I'd been harassed by Sarah and her friends just the previous day. I reach the fence and drop to my knees, still in shock, not knowing where to go. I try to clear my mind. I have to go home. My mom (and dad?) would be waiting for me… no… not my dad… he's dead… but he's not. My brother Josh would be there, no… it was my sisters Jenna and Sally. Sisters? I didn't have sisters! I try to think clearly, but it's as if I have two sets of conflicting memories in my mind at the same time. One of me, Marcy, and one of Sarah. Sarah, with her timid mother and overbearing father. Overbearing and ABUSIVE! Sarah's memories told me if I was late getting home that would justify a beating… and maybe a nighttime visit. Those horrible nighttime visits… But Sarah is dead now. I killed her. I become stuck on that thought. Sarah is dead and I killed her. But now I know everything about her. She wasn't mean, she was scared. Scared that there was nothing she could control, that everyone could see her weakness, everyone could see she was a victim waiting to be attacked. But if she could prove she was stronger than someone else… like that fat girl Marcy. Damn, she wished she was me. No sign of being beaten at home… Bringing a good lunch every day… Sarah is dead and I killed her.

Guilt overcomes me and I start to cry. Someone jumps the fence but I don't look. He comes over to me, pauses, then acts surprised it is me. He calls me Marcy, then says he has never seen someone figure out how to use that ability on their own before! I look up. It's the man from my dream… Alex… but his hand is normal, not claws. He doesn't look like Wolverine right now, though I am sure Wolverine doesn't have to have his claws out all the time… Anyhow, being attacked isn't really on my mind. I stand up and grab his jacket, saying over and over that Sarah is dead and I killed her. There. I told an adult. Now he would take me to the police. I had to confess, there was no choice. Sarah is dead and I killed her. But he doesn't lead me away. He shakes me until I stop repeating my confession. Tears are still streaming down my face. I look at my right hand that I had somehow used to punch right through Sarah… Alex holds me, trying to comfort me. He says he can explain what is happening. He says I "consumed" Sarah. He says I should now have Sarah's memories, too, and I do have her appearance. The extra set of memories… I say yes, I do… but how? He says that happens when we consume someone. He can do it, too. I start off on a new rant now, telling him Sarah wasn't really bad, it wasn't her fault, she's dead and I killed her… I consumed her… how can I fix it? How can I reverse it? There has to be a way! There just HAS to be a way! He looks like he's not sure what to say to help console me.

Before Alex says anything more, the other three pieces of bad news come over. More insults coming, and there was no way I could handle it right now… no way! But no one says anything mean. Beth asks who my friend is. Maria sees I've been crying and asks if I am ok, but she calls me Sarah. Gene is getting in Alex's face. She asks what he did to Sarah, why did he make her cry. I say Sarah is dead and I killed her. Maria looks genuinely concerned at that. She asks what I'm talking about. Gene goes back at Alex, calling him an asshole and asking again what he'd done to Sarah. Maria leads me away from Alex, saying I need to rest, I need to rest where my bastard father can't hurt me… I should stay over with her tonight. I know right away Sarah's father would say hell no to that and be furious if she did. And when Sarah wasn't there for his nighttime visit, he'd visit Jenna instead. Jenna… only 8 years old… she'd come to Sarah almost a year ago saying father was visiting her sometimes at night. Sarah had advised Jenna not to fight or father would hurt her more. But now I knew what I had to do. I would go home to Sarah's house and break Sarah's number one rule. I would fight back… and that bastard father of Sarah's wouldn't know what hit him.

I ask Maria for a minute of privacy during which I call my own mother and say I am going to a friend's house. She is thrilled that I have a friend. She says to keep my cell phone on. I say I will. Then I tell Maria I have to hurry home. I run most of the way. Sarah's body is that of a cheerleader, and very athletic. I go into the house and find father in a very bad mood. He's drinking again. Perfect. Maybe I can get him to take me to the basement to take my medicine. Then I'll give him his medicine. But he is more focused on mother right now. His dinner wasn't good enough. The house isn't clean enough. He pushes her against the counter while berating her loudly. I tell him to leave mother alone. Mother looks at me as if I've gone mad, so does father. He asks if I want a piece of what he's handing out. Mother tells me to go to my room right now. I say I'm not leaving until this piece of shit that calls himself my father says he's sorry for hurting mother. Mother is shocked to silence, father is now more pissed than shocked, thought the shock still shows in his face. Father asks if I really want to be talking to him like that. Because if I talk like an adult, then I get an adult's medicine. Mother breaks her silence and tells father to leave me alone, I don't know what I'm saying. I tell father I sure do know what I'm saying, and someone ought to kick him in his pathetically small balls so hard they get lodged in his fucking nostrils. Father is pissed. He grabs me roughly by the arm and says it's an adult's medicine for me, then I will never speak to him like that again. Mother pleads with father not to hurt me, but he ignores her and pulls me down into the basement. This is going perfectly.

Down in the dimly lit basement father asks what he should start with. I tell him he should start with begging me not to kill him. He says he doesn't know what has gotten into me, but I have sure gone off the deep end. I don't feel that way at all. I feel strong, like I can take on anyone. And he is weak. He has to pick on those smaller than himself. I spread my arms and tell him to come at me if he wants to die. He says he'll give me my medicine and he can't be sure I'll survive it. He grabs a board and swings it hard into my stomach. I barely feel it. He recoils as if he just smacked a concrete wall with the board. He looks at the board, then at me, then at the board again, clearly puzzled. He swings at me again. I grab the board and take it from him easily. I break it in half as if it was a twig. He steps back in shock, asking me what the fuck I am. I say it's his turn to take his medicine. I close the distance between us with two quick steps and then I repeat what happened with Sarah. I deliberately "consume" this asshole, or that's what Alex had called it. But this time I feel no guilt. Because now I know Jenna will never awaken to his nighttime visits again. Little Sally will never know a single visit. And mother will never have to take her medicine again. I punch my fist right into his gut, which brings about a shocked look of pain on his face. He screams out in pain and terror as I finish "consuming" him.

The sound has brought mother down from upstairs. I look at my hands. I am a man now, I have taken on the form of that asshole. But I don't want to look like him! I want to look like Sarah! I don't want mother to think father killed Sarah. I'm not sure what I do want mother to think… a wave of guilt hits me over Sarah, she shouldn't have died… it was never her fault. As I focus on wanting to look like Sarah I see my hands in front of me shift form. And my perspective drops a couple feet. I am Sarah again. Mother comes down the stairs and stares at me. She asks where father went, she asks if I am ok. I tell her I am ok, father took his medicine. She stops short and asks what I'm trying to say. I feel guilty about Sarah again. I go over to mother and hug her, telling her over and over that I'm sorry, I'm sooooo sorry… I know it will break her heart when Sarah disappears. And Sarah will have to disappear. I can't be both myself and Sarah at the same time. And if I disappear, then my mother will be the one crying. Mother wants to know what I've done. She says whatever it is, she's sure it can't be that bad. I tell her it is, and I can't say what it is… but she will find out soon, and I am sooooo sorry.

Mother wants to hold and comfort me, but I can't take it any longer. I pull away and run back upstairs and out the front door. I run down the street and out of sight even as I hear Sarah's mother behind me calling out. Not that much time has actually passed, and the sun is still shining. But I am in a dark place. I go down an alley to be out of sight and sit down beside a dumpster to cry. I feel some better knowing that Jenna, Sally, and Sarah's mother will no longer be hurt, but I still feel awful about what happened to Sarah. Someone comes up beside me as I am crying. I look up and it's Alex again. He asks if I can change back to Marcy. I think about my normal appearance for a bit and I feel the shift. Alex says I really am a natural. But a natural what? I ignore Alex now and go back to crying. Alex sits down beside me and puts an arm around me. He says to try not to be too hard on myself, what happened with Sarah was an accident. He asks if I really meant to hurt her. I remember wanting to knock the wind out of her, but that was it. Just a belly ache for her. I say no, I hadn't meant to hurt her. He says it was just a terrible accident, and now there was a lot I would have to learn about control so it would never happen again. Control of what? I don't know and I don't really care. I sit there, still crying, with Alex beside me trying to comfort me. I think I fall asleep like that, because then I wake up in bed as Raven again and a full understanding of what had happened in the dream.

12/27/12

Hidden Poison
I am in my Fire Valkyrie on my way to the moon. I realize many of my dreams will be starting like this since I am trying a different hypnosis program when I fall asleep which ironically enough involves a trip to the moon during the process of relaxation. So I am able to start this dream off lucid. I land on the moon and explore the craters briefly before deciding to open a portal to somewhere I might be needed. I trace out a circle in front of me which becomes a portal and I go through it. I enter into a garden of some kind which looks like the numerous small garden enclosures in Florence in Assassin's Creed II.

It is night time and I am not sure why I have come here. I am looking at the garden when someone runs in looking quite frantic. He grabs me by my robes and says I have to save him, the person after him is going to kill him. The guy looks like he is about to piss his pants… smells like he already has. I ask who is trying to kill him, he says it is an Assassin. What is he, a Templar? He says he has no idea what a Templar is. He looks like he is lying. A man enters the garden and stops, looking at me strangely. He is dressed like an Assassin. The man who was running hides behind me, looking quite pathetic. The Assassin mocks him for hiding behind a girl. He then looks at my robes and says the man chose the wrong woman to try to hide behind. He says the coward behind me was trying to poison the city's water supply. The coward says the Assassin is lying. The Assassin says the poison is in a vial in the man's pouch. The man refuses to show me what is in his pouch. More people have arrived in the garden. A bunch of guards. The coward hiding behind me laughs and tells the guards to kill both the Assassin and me, since apparently we are working together. So a fight breaks out. I use my Witchblade sword, which seems to surprise everyone when it forms. The Assassin and I fight against what I estimate to be eight guards, until six of them are dead and two of them think better of continuing to fight and run away. The Assassin climbs up a wall and grabs hold of the fleeing man, the one who had originally hidden behind me, and kills him before throwing the body back into the enclosure. I still have my sword out, not sure if he's going to attack me, but he says we are on the same side here. So I put my sword away. When I get a better look at him I see it looks like he is Ezio Auditore.

I confirm that it is Ezio, he says we need to get somewhere safe before the body is found. He turns to leave, apparently expecting me to follow, but he will soon find there is no one there because it is here that I wake up.

Bullies
I am climbing around on the roofs of Florence in a full virtual reality version of Assassin's Creed II. But I am not playing as Ezio… I am playing as a female Assassin.

It is awesome. I wonder how come I didn't get this virtual reality system sooner. I am collecting eagle feathers from the roofs of the buildings, looking to find the last of the feathers in Florence. I jump from one roof to another to grab a feather. I wonder how hard it will be to climb to the highest places in virtual reality when the possibility of falling looks so real. I look down to determine if the heights will bother me. I have never been afraid of heights in my waking life, and I am not afraid of heights now. I see some assholes down below me. Four sizeable guys are pushing one woman around, I hear them talking about taking turns at her. One of them says they should go somewhere more private. Another says he knows where they won't be bothered. Being unafraid of heights, I jump down off of the roof and land right behind one of the assholes. I tell them to leave the woman alone or there's going to be trouble. Three of the four men laugh. The fourth one looks scared, which I had expected laughter from all of them. One of the laughing men said two women means twice as much fun. The scared person is repeating the word 'ass' over and over again. One of the men grabs my arm and says if I relax maybe I'll have some fun, too. The scared guy finally yells that I am an Assassin and turns and runs out into the street, he runs flat into a guard. The guard starts pushing him around and he keeps pointing and yelling that there is an Assassin over there. I comment that one of them has a brain… let go of me and leave the woman alone, last chance. He tries to pull me with him, still laughing. I nail him with my hidden blade. Another says no bitch is going to take him out. He charges at me and practically skewers himself on my other hidden blade. The fourth one runs away in the same direction the first one went. I notice that the guards don't seem to be taking their claims of an Assassin seriously. They are mocking the two men. The woman thanks me for saving her life. I see the two men get hot headed with the guards, they start throwing insults and get themselves arrested. The woman thanks me again and then hurries off down the street, seeming in a hurry to get somewhere. I climb back up the wall of the building. It seems harder to climb than I had expected it to be. Is it because it's virtual reality? Maybe… As I am climbing the wall I feel like I am going to fall, but I fall into my bed as I wake up.