Visions in the Dark

This dream was long and detailed but when I woke up it fragmented and I find it hard to describe some of the things I saw and experienced, even though I can still "see" it in my mind. There were two parts to this dream. (Possible Trigger Warning for some people near the end of these dreams.)

First part:
Hotel on top of the Mountain.
A short, corpulant man with short dark hair, who looks like Danny DeVito (so I will call him Danny though he was unnamed in the dream) invites me to his room in a highly populated hotel on top of a steep mountain for sex. Though it is a large, lavish hotel, people live in the rooms like apartments rather then rent them. I agree but he then insist on taking me to a privacy room, called a Sky Room, so we can get it on in peace without people listening in. The rooms are very close together and very small, all with a light yellow colour scheme (walls, sheets, carpet, all light yellow coloured) and it's easy to hear your neighbours.

From the outside the hotel looks like an ancient European castle of dark grey stone, but inside the layout is not square but cylindrical. In the center of the hotel is a large shaft called the "Elevator" which goes up to individual themed rooms for rent that exist high in the sky and supposedly offer the hotel residence some privacy for a few hours (hence why they are called "Sky Rooms"). To get to the hotel on top of the mountain, people must take a large ski lift (called the "tram" in the dream) from a valley far below. The journey is long and dangerous because sometimes the wind blows the tram right off the wires and people die plummeting hundreds of feet to the ground below. After learning about the dangers of the tram I understand why people decide to stay and live in the hotel rather than risk coming and going on the tram.

Danny and I look around for one for rent but they are all occupied and the next one won't become free for two hours. I see a timer slowly counting down the time. The countdown time 1:31:00 sticks in my mind for some reason, after I see it on Danny's countdown clock. Danny and I sit in silence in his hotel room, occasionally smiling at each other, but our passion for sex quickly fading as the time slowly ticks away. I vaguely recall being in one of the Sky Rooms and hearing people in one below ours having sex and thinking "These are not as private as advertised." Despite remembering thinking that in the dream Danny and I never actually rented a Sky Room because none became free before we both lost interest in each other and went our separate ways.

I woke up and laid awake for a few minutes, contemplating getting on DV to record this, but I was too tired and decided to go back to sleep. I am surprised I remembered as much of the first part upon awakening as I did, but maybe because the second part was similar in some ways.

Second part:
Space Military School
The same circular hotel with the large elevator in the middle still exists, but now it is located in orbit around earth. The hotel rooms are now classrooms or training rooms and not living residences. Some students and faculty members do live there if they are rich and can afford to, but most of the students are poor and live down on the Earth, and have to use the Elevator everyday to get to class. The base of the Elevator is located in a thick, dark temperate forest and it's shaft reaches all the way into space.

I am waiting for the Elevator car to arrive and I wander behind the shaft and see a two-storey log cabin with many windows. Through the windows I can see dozens and dozens of owls and they all seems to be flapping against the windows in an attempt to get out. The owls looks like snowy owls, but most are all different sizes and there are a few color variations other than white and brown. I notice one very small owl that is colored bright red with golden tips on it's wings and tail. I can't see anyone inside the building and I can't stay to help the owls as the elevator car arrives and I have to get on it or I will miss my class.

The school is run with very strict rules and poor students are treated with less regard than wealthy ones. The Principle is a Commander from the Earth based Military and treats all students of all levels and background as soldiers in training. He dislikes being the school master and dreams of the glories of war. The Principle is a handsome man who shows interest in marrying me for some reason and one night he kidnaps me after class and takes me to his quarters. He leaves me in the care of three of his male subordinates with strict instructions that I am not to be harmed. I am imprisoned in a white room and not allowed to leave until I agree to marry the Principle. While I am locked in the room the Principle organizes the students and uses them as soldiers to attack facilities on the earth. The subordinates in charge of watching me hear about the attacks and get drunk to celebrate. The three of them become so inebriated they forget about the command that I am not to be harmed and I am viciously and repeatedly gang raped. When the Principle returns he is furious that I am bruised and bleeding and emotionally detached because of the rape and he violently kills the drunken guards one by one with his own hands. The dream ends with the Principle trying to comfort me but I just gaze out the window looking into space without responding to him.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

This dream takes place in a sort of Medieval fantasy world, much like Lord of the Rings. I am my dream incarnation Kalima, who has orange hair and wears a white and violet dress. I am in the center of a large valley of some kind. I am on a flat plain surrounded completely by large snowy mountains. It is cold and dry and it is either late autumn or I am far north, though there is no snow on the ground.

I know I am trying to find my way to a certain land, but I do not know how to get there. I am in the process of escaping another land where people are trying to kill me because I have been accused of witchcraft. A while ago I was being pursued by a group of men dressed in furs who were riding black horses, but somehow I avoided them and ended up in this valley. I am nervous because there are no trees or large boulders to hide behind and if the horsemen make there way into this valley, they will surely see me.

I head for the smallest range of mountains and try to traverse over it, but I lack supplies and I am starving, I am too tired and it is too cold. I collapse and some travellers find me and take me to their cabin on the other side of the mountain. I sleep for a long time and when I awake I am in a trance like state and I start drawing maps because for some reason I am unable to speak and cannot tell my rescuers where I am trying to go.

Some of the older men in the family recognizes the land I have drawn in my map and they gathers supplies to try and take me there. We travel for a long time and are almost at my destination when the horsemen find us and attack us. All of the men I am travelling with, except one, are killed and we are taken prisoner. We are taken to a camp set up by the horsemen and I am interrogated and tortured because the horsemen want to know where I was headed, though for some reason I am still unable to talk. Late in the night thw lone survivor of the men I had been travelling with is tortured and killed. After his death some of the horsemen gang rape me repeatedly.

Dawn comes and I am traumatized and exhausted and am looking forward to the horsemen killing me for witchcraft because I do not want to live anymore. Before they can assault me further the horsemen's camp is attacked by elven warriors and the horsemen flee or are killed. I am overhwelmed by everything that has happened and pass out.

When I wake up I am in a large palace somewhere and there are beautiful elven people walking around and whispering softly in the grand halls. My wounds are dressed and there is fresh fruit and bread on a table near by soft bed. I am still traumatized from the torture and rape, and still unable to talk, yet somehow I know that I have arrived at my destination and I fall back into a such deep sleep that I do not know if I am just asleep or if I have died.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)


I am an archeology student working in a museum in Montreal. I have volunteered to document and study items that are in the backrooms of the museum's storage areas. All of the items had been ignored or forgotten about because no previous archeologists thought they were important. The civilizations or cultures and time frame the artifacts come from are unknown and it is my job to find out when and where they came from. The items I found and set aside to look at include various peices of ancient looking jewelry, a few peices of pottery and a roughly triangular peice of metalwork that features some sort bird with its wings spead out and the bird's head facing to the right. The outline of the bird and the outer edge of the peice is orange while the background is a deep blue. I give this item the name of the "Eagle Crest."

I tell my department head (Professor Alberts) about the items and he doesn't seem interested at first but says that I can continue my investigations as long as they do not interfere with my other student studies in the museum. One night, after closing time, I am working on a thesis on a computer in one of the museum offices and suddenly a bunch of screens and files start popping up at random and I cannot close them. The files that are appearing are refering to some of the items I found and disclosed to Prof. Alberts and when the files start being downloaded to an outside source I finally realize that the computer is being hacked and I turn it off.

The next day I tell Prof. Alberts what happened and he tells me to put the items in his office where they will be safe, which I do, except for the Eagle Crest, which I had on my desk, because I wanted to study it that night. When night comes, after everyone has gone home, the museum is broken into and the box of artifacts I had set aside to study was stolen from Prof. Alberts's office, except for the crest which was in my desk in another part of the museum. The buglars stole nothing else and seemed to beeline only for that box of artifacts and this made me think that they knew exactly what they were looking for and knew where to find it. Suspecting an inside job, I do not tell Prof. Alberts that I still have the Eagle Crest and instead I hide it in one of the unorganized and unused storerooms filled with undocumented artifacts, knowing that no one will find it there. I am also worried that if I come forward that I did not put the crest where it was supposed to go the night of the robbery, that people will think I had something to do with the robbery itself or knew about it in some way.

Later I am in my apartment thinking about the crest and the robbery and the nagging feeling that the two are related somehow. It is early in the morning because I have not been able to sleep and I am in my night clothes with are nothing more than an orange tank top and blue panties. I am so deep in thought that I do not hear someone enter my apartment until that person opens my bedroom door. It is a tall, thin, blond man, wearing glasses and dressed in a black suit. He is holding a handgun and demands that I get dressed and come with him. I am freaked out that someone is in my apartment but also angry and embarassed that I am walked in on when wearing so little clothing. I demand that he turn around so I can change but he says no and watched me with no expression as I get dressed. I ask him who he is and where we are going but he ignores me and says that I need my identifaction and passport. I resist leaving my apartment but the man says that I am in danger if I stay and that he is taking me somewhere safe. I demand to know why I should trust him and he says that there are some gangsters on their way to kidnap me because they think I know the location of the Eagle Crest and that they will torture me to get the location of it. I ask the man how I am supposed to know if I can trust him or not but he ignores me again, grabs my arm and drags me downstairs to his car waiting behind the building. I know he has a gun so I don't want to piss him off and just obey.

As we are in his car and pulling out of the apartment complex driveway, a car pulls up to the front of the building and several large, burly looking men in dark suits and wearing sunglasses get out and start toward the apartment. One of them looks our way and they seem to recognize either me or the man I am with because he begins shouting and the other men begin running our way, pulling out guns and pointing them in our direction. The blond man speeds out of there and down the street as fast as he can, even as the gangsters start shooting in our direction. The blond man ignores the traffic lights and roadsigns and races through the streets at top speed but soon the dark car is behind us and we are followed all the way out of Montreal. We speed and weave through traffic and eventually seem to lose our pursuers. I ask my kidnapper where we are going and he says New York City. I begin crying because I am scared and the man says that I should not be afraid because none of this is my fault and that he is just trying to protect me. I say I still don't know if I can trust him or not, and he asks me to open the glove compartment which I do. Inside is a large silver coloured hand gun and he asks me to take it. I protest because I have never held a gun before, let alone use one, and he says that it is for my protection and that he will tell me how to use it.

Shortly after giving me instructions on how to use the gun and telling me to hide it in my bag, the blond man loses control of his car when we are rear ended by the dark car filled with gangsters that has suddenly caught up with us. The car skids out of control and comes to a stop in a ditch and before the blond man can reach for his own gun, several of the gangsters open fire through the driver's side window and he is struck several times. I am pulled kicking and screaming from the passenger side and dragged over to the gangster car and forced into the trunk. My bag is still hanging over my side and the gangsters do not search through it. It is hot and cramped in the trunk and we drive for a long time. I do not know how long but it is dark by the time the goons stop at a motel and finally let me out of the trunk. They let me go to the bathroom in the motel room and I lock myself in and cry for a while. Eventually they bash the door down and force me to come out. None of the gangsters talk to me at first, but one tries to get me to tell him the location of the Eagle Crest by saying that they will let me go immediately if I tell them where it is. I say that I don't know and that it was stolen when the museum I was interning at was broken into. This is the answer I give many time when they press the same question many times in different ways. Eventually they give up and let me fall asleep on one of the beds.

I wake up at some point in the night and without moving myself much to alert them to my wakened state I try to see were the goons are. Two are sleeping on chairs by the window and I cannot determine the location of the third, but the fourth is laying on the other motel bed with his pants pulled down and masterbating to a pornographic film playing on the television. I am using my bag as a pillow and I can feel the outline of the gun under my head, but I still lay motionless, fearful to alert the gangster who is still awake that I too am conscious. I close my eyes with the intention of waiting for the guy to fall asleep but just then the gangster that I could not locate comes out of the bathroom and jokes with the other guy that they should rape me while I am sleeping. The other guy thinks that is a great idea and rolls off of his bed and on top of me. I scream and struggle and try to reach for the gun but I am dragged out of its reach by the two goons who pull me to the end of the end and start ripping my clothes off of me. My screams awaken the other two gangsters and they fight off the would be rapists and remind them that I am not to be harmed until "the Boss" can speak to me.

The goons start arguing and even fistfighting and I am able to grab my bag and lunge at the door. One of the gangsters grabs my legs and pulls me to the floor, as the other three goons take no notice and continue fighting amounst themselves, and while the guy who has me struggles to hold my logs with both arms, my hands are free and I pull the gun out of my bag, unlock the safety and stoot the guy holding me squarely in the forehead. The other three gangsters stop fighting and stand stunned for a second as I scramble out of the dead man's grasp and for the door. The gangsters simutaneously reach for their steel and I am sure that I am dead when the motel room door is kicked in and a hail of machine gun bullets rips into the bodies of the remaining gangters and cuts them down where they stand.

I look up and see the blond haired man from before standing there holding two mini tommi guns, blood from his own gunshot wounds all over his shirt and a trickle of blood out of his mouth. He is backlit from headlights in the parking lot and looks enraged as he stands there and stares down the bloody corpses of my kidnappers. His expression softens when he sees that I am alright and I don't know how he survived being shot several times but he takes me away from there and we continue drivng down the highway - I assume to New York City, but I am not sure because I cannot remember anything more from this dream other than that the blond man reveals that Prof. Alberts organized both the robbery and my kidnapping and was "the Boss" behind the whole mess. He also revels what the Eagle Crest is and why it is important (it is magic or something?) but I cannot remember exactly what the details were now.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)


I cannot remember the beginning of this dream but the main character is Link from the Ledgend of Zelda series, but instead of a green tunic he is wearing jeans, t-shirt and a black leather jacket. He is also carrying a dark blue napsack over his sholder and does not have a sword. It is night and Link is walking through a small town that looks abandoned. All the lights are out and there are no cars or people on the streets. The houses and buildings lining the street are completely dark and even the street lamps are out. The only source of light is the full moon.

The town gives way to a huge parkspace with many trees and cobblestone paths. In the very center of the park is a colonial mansion sitting in from of a large stone fountain. Link is drawn towards the colonial mansion because there are lights burning on the bottom floor and he thinks it may not be abandoned like the rest of the town seems to be.

As Link approaches the house he sees a young woman standing alone near the corinthian pillars at the house's front facade. Suddenly a black van comes speeding up to the house's driveway and stops right in front of the fountain. A heavy built, beaded man jumps out of the van and grabs the young woman and throws her down on the ground. The hairy man undos his pants and tries to rape the young woman but Link jumps in and hits the man with his napsack. The young woman runs away as Link kicks the rapist in the head a few times. The hairy man crawls back into his van and tries to drive away but crashes his van into the fountain, causing water to flood the mansion's driveway.

Link can suddenly hear many voices coming from inside the house, as well as rock music, and follows the sounds to a large room where many people are sitting around little tables drinking beer while a live band plays in the back. It actually looks like Link has just stepped into a seedy bar of somekind, the only difference being the large bay windows that look out over the park.

There is a man in a dark suit of great importance at the largest table, surrounded by body guards and gyrating women, and he signals to Link to join him at the table. They have a conversation but I cannot remember what was said now, though near the end I vaguely remember Link telling the other man that he does not want to be enemies anymore and is just trying to get along with him, or something.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

I am standing at the four way intersection that leads to the dead end street I grew up on. It is night time and must be spring or autumn beccause I am wearing my warm, blue zip-up sweater, jeans, and black baseball cap. The corner of the intersection I am standing appears as it did over ten years ago when one of my old neighbour's (Mrs. Jolleff) lived there, on a quarter acre of land, in a small white house surrounded by maple trees. Not long after she died her land was sold and redeveloped into a townhouse complex. Because the area looks different than it does today I immediately become lucid.

There is no one around and not much to do so I recall learning to fly and want to give it a try. I spread my arms out and bend my knees and jump into the air. At first I am afraid of being to heavy and not being able to defy gravity (problems with flying in dreams that I have had before) but remembering this is my dream I just think of myself as weightless and I am able to float about fourty feet in the air. I then leisurely glide over the houses and tree tops towards my parent's house. As I get closer I notice that the house I grew up in and some of the houses on either side seem to exist in a void of grey fog and some facades are different that they appear in waking life and indeed when I enter the fog the outside world disappears and while it is no longer visible I can sense that it is still there, though it seems far away. I cannot make the fog go away but I can make myself invisible and see through the walls of the houses with my dream control.

My partent's house is empty of people but all of the houses to the left of their's have many people living in them, all of them people I do not know as they are not the neighbours who lived there when I was a kid. The first house to the left is empty of people but by the boxes and furniture scattered around the floors I can tell that someone has just moved in. The next house is two storeys high and each level has been split into a seperate appartment. As I slowly fly towards that house I can see a blond woman looking out the window towards me talking on the phone, but I know she cannot see me as I previously made myself invisible. I plan to make no effort to control the thoughts or actions of any character I meet in the dream because I believe they are creations straight out of my subconscious and hope they might have something interesting to say and that I might learn about myself.

I fly up to the window where blond woman is talking on the phone and childishly revel in that fact that she can't see me by making faces at her. I then fly around to the back of the house and notice through a window a dark haired man and woman dressed in stylish business clothes preparing food on the second floor. I plan to eavesdrop on them next. I fly through the wall and listen in on the blond woman's conversation. She wearing jeans and a heavy light brown sweater and her hair is shoulder length. Her apartment is sparsley decorated with things that look secondhand or very simple and homey. I cannot remember what was said now but I do recall that I found her conversation terribly uninteresting and I let myself float down through the floor to where the dair haired man and woman are. Their appartment is furnished with much nicer stuff and their is a circular glass table with wine glasses and setting for two and it looks as if they are planning a romantic dinner.

The dark haired woman is wearing a white blouse, black skirt and black high heels and her hair is pulled back into a pony tail. The man seems to have disappeared into another room for a moment while the woman is washing and cutting green and red peppers by the sink. Despite the nice surroundings and stuff the woman has a miserable look on her face and seems very unhappy. I cannot read her mind to figure out why which I find very frustrating. The man reenters the kitchen from another room and he is wearing a white shirt with black buisness pants and black tie. The woman puts down her knife and turns around to embrace him but he grabs her by the wrists, spins her around and roughly pulls up her skirt and forces her to lean over the sink. After undoing his pants he starts having sex with her from behind and demands that she continue washing and cutting the peppers while in that position. She doesn't respond verbally but I can sense that she is even more upset then before and she struggles but is not strong enough to escape the man's grip. Even though I try, my dream control won't allow me to force the man to stop or let the woman escape.

I become kind of upset myself and start to dissociate, even start to think that I want the dream to end but I hear a phone ringing in another room and go towards it. The ringing stops before I get to the phone (in an office on the other side of the appartment) and I can see a red light flashing on the display to indicate that a message has been left. I pick up the phone because I want to listen to the message (hoping that this will be something important or interesting from my unconsious - and I want to forget about the rape happening in the kitchen that I cannot stop).

The phone has so many buttons and many of them have symbols that I have no idea what they mean. I am frustrated that the phone is super complicated and has so many extra buttons that seem to do nothing. The woman in the kitchen starts screaming and I drop the phone and fly as fast as I can out of there. I am very dissociated now and cannot end the dream even though I try.

The foggy void outside has gotten thicker and darker but I can see a row of SUVs in the distance, some of which of have police lights on top but the cars are empty and seem abandoned. I notice that the home to the immediate left of my parent's house has a few lights on so I fly over there to see what's going on. While I cannot end the dream or affect that thoughs and actions of characters in the dream, I can still control my actions and inanimate objects around me. I fly into the living room of the house and see a man sitting on a recliner trying to figure out his newly hooked up cable box on his large widescreen television. Or at least that is what I think he is doing until he figures it out and violent pornography appears on the screen. The man starts masturbating and I lose interest and start flying outside but before I pass the walls of the house I hear a child crying in the basement.

I go down there and the floor is covered in discarded furniture and various basement junk but I cannot see any child even though the crying has gotten louder. I notice a set of metal grates on the cement floor, half hidden underneath a dirty mattress and some boxes. I telepathically move the junk and open the grates and discover a shallow well which contains the decaying body of a little boy. The boy is obviously dead but the crying gets louder and I use my dream control to undo the decay on the body and return the boy to life. He is surprised as first but then very scared because the man who murdered him is still upstairs. He is unable to talk but communicates telepathically and asks if I will help him sneak out of the house. I pick him up and we float up through the ceiling into the front hall of the house. Several of the SUVs I saw before have entered the foggy void and are either parked infront of the house or are driving back and forth in front of the house on a small section of road that exists within the void.

A man in dark clothing is at the front door and the word SWAT is printed on the back of this jacket. I tell the little boy that he is probably going to storm the house and arrest the man who murdered him. Instead the SWAT man knocks on the door and waits patiently for someone to answer. Because I am inpatient I use telekinesis to both swing the front door open and grab the man watching porn and force him to the front hall. I make myself (but not the little boy) visible and rat out the man for the murder. The SWAT man looks confused and says that he is there to arrest the other man for pirating cable signals with illegal cable hookups.

I use my dream control to project everything I have seen into the mind of the SWAT man and tell him that this is my dream and I want him to do something about the crimes taking place. The SWAT man responds: "There are no crimes taking place because this is only a dream." I do not know how to respond to that at first but realize that I have finally met a figure from my subconscious that might be able to give me some answers, so I then ask him: "Why do images like these appear in my dreams? What am I supposed to learn from them?" SWAT man responds: "You cannot learn on the subconscious level that which you have not learned on the conscious level."

I ask him to clairfy but the dream suddenly... I don't know how to describe this, um, explodes or rips apart. I am still aware that I am in a dream but have lost my control and it feels like some outside force has grabbed the foggy void and is tearing it to peices. The characters arround me are violently pulled into dark holes and tears that have suddenly appeared and the structures and setting disintegrate and are sucked into invisible voids. Everything is pulverized and disappears and a horrible feeling of dread overcomes me and I feel like there is an army of demons standing on my chest, though I am able to end the dream and wake up before anything more freaky happens.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

I am in a ruined and abandoned building that looks like it used to be an office or conference center of some sort. I am hiding on the inside from "bad people" on the outside who I fear will try and force their way in if they see me. I scavenge materials from around the building to create a shelter for myself in the front of the building in a room that looks as if it was once a lobby. Most of the material is an old ripped up tent or peice of canvas that is coloured yellow, which I throw over a table that is leaning to one side.

I hide myself inside my makeshift shelter to get away from three stray dogs that have suddenly appeared and are sniffing around and will not leave me alone. The biggest of the dogs, a black lab, forces its way into the tent and starts ripping it to shreads. The dog does not attack or threaten me in anyway but I grab it by the scruff of the neck and force it into a submissive position laying on its side. The dogs leave me alone after that and soon disappear.

Now that the tent is completely destroyed I gather together chairs and small tables to hide under even though I am aware that if anyone looks inside the building through the lobby windows that why will be able to see me. I notice shadows and shapes of people moving near or past the windows and freeze in terror. Then it happens. A man in a blue military uniform passes by a window and looks in. I try to hide myself behind a pile of furniture but he sees me and starts trying to bust the front door down, which I tried to barracade with a few chairs.

The man marches in and beelines to where I am hiding. He grabs me and ties me to a support pillar in the middle of the room. He uses a large bowie knife to cut off my shirt. He then foddles my breasts before raping me. A line of similarily dressed military men file into the building and do the same, one after another. They all ignore my screams of protest and terror.

A lone soldier dressed in green suddenly appears in the door way, weilding two handguns, and with lightning speed shoots all of the blue military men before they have a chance to retailiate. He then gently removes my shackles and carries me out of there. I do not know how long or how far we walked but he takes me into a lavish suite in a ritzy hotel and lays me on the bed. The hotel apparently has its own hospital and the soldier summons the hotel doctors to come and care for me. He dutifully waits outside my door on guard and carefully scrutinizes everyone who comes to the room. The soldier does not hesitate to kill anyone who he thinks is suspicious and the people he does kill happen to have blue military uniforms hidden under their doctor coats.

After a while the medical staff leaves and the soldier and I are alone. Despite being horribly brutalized I feel extremely grateful towards him and I lead him to the bed and we make passionate love to each other. The next day he is gone and I cannot find him even though I search every floor of the hotel. Indeed the hotel iteself is now devoid of all people and staff, even though all the lights are on and it looks as if it should be full of activity. I am alone and feel confused and abandoned.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

It is the mid or late eighteen hundreds. I live on the edge of a crowded city in grey brick house at the end of an small street or alleyway where there is a laundry pool, beyond which is a forest. In the dream I am an only child and live with my mother and a few of her friends. We are not wealthy but have enough to live comfortably.

There are several men courting me. The first man is someone I have never met, which was set up by my mother and her friends. I am not comfortable with the arrangement, even though he is an established doctor, because I will not be able to meet him until the wedding. I know nothing of what he is like, let alone what he looks like. I have not said no to the proposal, but I have not said yes either, and I try to stall my answer as long as possible. The second man is homeless and in rags with scraggly hair and beard and unkept hair, but I talk with him by the laundry pool and he is very kind. Everyone opposes interaction with him and "polite society" all but shuns him.

The third man appears on day when I am in the forest on the otherside of the laundry pool, sitting on a tree stump, reading my tarot cards. He comes and sits on a tree stump behind me and strikes up a conversation. He is handsome though I thought he had a kind of shifty look to him. The man's manner of speaking is very well, he is suave and magnetic and I find myself beoming drawn to him. While we are sitting and talking I pull either the Six of Cups or Six of Swords from my tarot deck (I cannot remember which) and say that is the card which represents him. The man scoffs dismissively, not believing in such trivalities as tarot cards, but also not disturbed that I do.

The man asks me to marry him and I say yes. I take him home to meet my mother, who is not enthralled at first but is quickly charmed by my new fiance. There is something about him that makes me uneasy, but I figure that I can't do much better with anyone else so I ignore my nagging doubts. He is eager to move in with mother and I. He has little in the way of worly possessions and it is clear to me from the onset that he is the one to benefit from this union financially much more than I. I am overcome with the dreadful thought that he is interested in me only for my money.

A week passes and the day of the wedding comes and takes place in a clearing in the forest beyond the laundry pool. The other residents of our household vacate for the night so that my new husband and I will have the place to ourselves. Almost immediately he takes me into his room and strips off my wedding dress. I am afraid and trembling because I have no idea what is about to happen. He roughly pushes me onto the bed and climbs on top of me, not bothering to remove any of this clothes, not even his shoes. He begins having sex with me but I am uncomfortable and in pain but he ignores my protests and continues until he is completely spent. As soon as he is done he climbs off of me, pulls up his pants and demands that I return to my own room. His tone is cold and flat and he does not even look at me as I leave his room, very unlike the warm, magnetic man who initially drew me in.

I am in my room on the second floor of the house, laying on the bed and looking up at a dream catcher in the window that is made with pink beads and white feathers onto which I have apparently stuck a tarot card. I cannot identify the card but I stare at it for a while. I don't know how much time passes but my feelings of being used and violated prevent me from falling asleep. I am just drifting off to sleep when I hear a door slam downstairs. Putting on a robe and going downstairs I find all of my valuables gone. I rush to the window and see my husband climbing into a horse-drawn wagon which has all of my possessions in the back. He sees my shocked and horrified face in the window and arrogantly laughs and waves as he drives away. His mocking is the last I can bear it and I collapse to the floor admist tears and despair.

My mother and her friends return and learned what happened and we are all infuriated but can do nothing, since we do not know where my husband has gone and cannot do anything anyway, since all of my worldly possessions become the property of the man upon marriage (an actual 19th century law). To avoid utter poverty I am now forced to accept the first man my mother arranged for me, the established doctor who I have not yet met. It turns out that he is more than twice my age and has children from a previous marriage, some of whom are actually older than I. We do not tell him that I was just married and robbed of all my possessions.

The marriage date is set and while everyone else scurries around making preperations or caught up in the excitement of the coming union, I feel shamed, betrayed and depressed. I resolve to drown myself in the laundry pool so one morning I sneak out of the house just after dawn. I am surprised to discover some of my stolen possessions sitting on a wooden deck next to the laundry pool. The objects where peices of pottery and soapstone carvings, some of which I have actually made in in real life, though in the dream I merely recognized them as possessions and not peices of art that I made. One particular peice that stood out was a small White Tara carved in soapstone and placed on a tree stump in the middle of the laundry pool. There were also some roughly carved faces and my pack of tarot cards wrapped in green silk.

My mother comes up behind me as I am looking at these things and is just as perplexed as I as to why some of my things have been returned. I tell her that I believe that my con-man first husband is mocking me from afar and only returned the things that he could not sell and would thus be worthless to him. I also believe though that it is an ironic twist of fate that the things he considered worthless are the things most treasured by me because of their sentimental value. The dream ends there.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

This dream is so long and detailed that I cannot believe that I have remembered so much of it. It takes place in a large castle that sit in the middle of a huge field. The landscape is mostly flat plains with a few hilly areas and small forests scattered about. There is a shallow river that runs behind the castle and a dirt road that runs almost parallel to the river, but in front of the castle instead of behind. The castle is also surround by huge stone walls (which in turn sorround a small moat) and has some areas within the yard that are "forbidden" and closed off for some reason.


When the dream starts I am the King's youngest child and only daughter. I have long flaxen colored hair and wear a white and blue dress and a dark blue cape. I am betrothed to be married to a prince and he short with medium length black hair and a fierce temperment. Prince Rolgan, as I think he was called, was living with us in the castle until we marry, but he all but ignores me and kisses ass to my father. As the princess I was not allowed to venture outside the castle walls alone (as it is "dangerous" in the outside world) so I spent a portion of my time trying to figure out ways to break into the sealed off "forbidden" areas, as I was curious to see what they contain before I have to leave when I marry.

As I am crossing the main bridge that goes over the moat in the front of the castle when I run into some children from a nearby village. They beg me to teach them how to paint. They each give me a small bundle of fine-quality paint brushes and I accept these modest gifts happily. I spend a few hours with the children teaching brushstroke techniques (something I have been practicing myslef in waking life), until the sun hangs low in the sky. Before it starts to get dark I call for my personal carriage and tell the driver to take the children home. As the carriage leaves there is a window of opportunity for me to climb over the fence of one of the forbidden areas. The guards were busy seeing the carriage out the front gate and did not notice me jump onto a vine and climb over.

The small closed off area on the inside was strewn with garbage and debris. Part of the moat went through the area but there was no bridge leading to the other side where I could see some sort of fort or hut made out of sticks and peices of fabric. The water was very cold and dirty, but shallow enough for me to walk across. As I walked through the water my dress caught on something. At first I though was a caught on a stick but when I yanked hard enough to free my dress, a long white bone floated to surface. I stared at it in shock for a moment, before I quickly ran to the other side. It was only then that I noticed there were bones and skulls all over the place as well as garbage. The inside of the little hut had skeletons piled upon each other and most of them were skewered with weapons that the King's soldiers used.

I had seen enough and wanted to leave, but I could not get back over by way of the vine as it seemed to have disappeared. It was getting dark now and the only way out was by slipping under the fence where it went over the moat - but first I had to move garbage and bones out of the way. On the other side the water was warm and clean and dipped down a little in a mini waterfall sort of thing. I was almost directly underneath the main castle bridge that went over the moat. At the edge of the small waterwall, standing waist deep in the moat was a young girl who seemed to be looking for something.

As I approached the young girl she looked up at me. It was then that I saw a man with a long flowing cloak standing against the side of the main bridge, looking in my direction. I ignored him and asked the young girl who she was. She said her name was "Galia" (or something like that) and I asked if she had a sister, as the named seemed somewhat familiar to me. The young girl said yes, that her sister's name was "Egalia" (or something like that. I am not sure if I am remembering the exact names but I do know that they rhymed) and that she had been at the castle earlier. Galia then lifted something out of the water and offered it to me. It was a bundle of paint brushes, but unlike the brushes the other children gave me they were not fine-quality. Instead they seemed very old and worn, but I accepted them anyway as the young girl had a very hopeful look on her face. The man leaning against the bridge called out that the brushes were not any good, but I just ignored him because I was annoyed that he was eavedropping. Galia said that she knew the brushes were not good but they were the only things she had to offer. I tell her that I can reuse the handles and make new brushes from them, which seems to make her happy.

I take Galia by the hand and we wade to the shore. The man with the cloak approaches and helps us out of the water. Even though it is almost dark I can see his face now and he is very handsome. He has long blond hair, deep blue eyes and elf ears. (He looks exactly like Legolas as protrayed by Orlando Bloom from Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings films.) He tells me that every guard in the castle is looking for me. I blush and hurriedly thank him for his help and take off towards the main castle gate, with poor Galia in bewildered tow. I am rushed to the throne room where my father, the King, lectures me about going off on my own and how worried he was about me, all the while I am still holding onto Galia for some reason. My fiance, Prince Rolgan, and my brothers all stand beside the throne and glare at me disapprovingly, but I am unnaffected because I do not care what they think. Just then a guard comes in and announces the arrival of an elf prince. While the king and princes recieve the Legolas clone I stalk off to my private chamber, promising Galia that I would take her home tomorrow and that she could sleep in my room for the night.

Later that night there is some sort of dinner reception going on and I have to attend, which would not bother me except that I have to face the elf-prince again. I try to ignore him and fawn over my fiance but as usual he is ignoring me and kissing ass to the king. I do care for Rolgan at this point in the dream, but only because it seems so far that I have no choice because marrying him is my only option for the future. At some point during the socializing, the elf prince corners me and asks me what I was doing in the moat and what I think of my future husband. Before I can answer (but not before I blush again) Prince Rolgan comes over and says that we are retiring for the night, before leading me to my chamber. He doesn't say a word to me (or even look at me), drops me off at my chamber door and heads to his own.

When he dissapears I hear a smash from down the hall. I run towards the sound and I find that a servant has broken something in the dinning room. There is broken glass all over the floor underneath a small table with a yellow tablecloth. I kneel down to assist the servant cleaning up the mess, but something I cannot see pushes me from behind and I fall forward onto the pile of broken glass. I put my arms out in front of me to break my fall but I cut my hands severely. I panic and run to Prince Rolgan's chamber, crying and covered in blood, but when he opens the door he just scoffs at me and calls for the castle doctor. He lets it be known that his is not pleased that I have interupted him and shows no concern what-so-ever for my well-being. When he is speaking with a guard I glance into his room and see a woman I do not know laying naked on his bed. She just sneers at me and stretches out, flaunting how confortable she is on my future husbands bed.

The doctors come and take me to the windowless medical room where they remove the glass and bandage my hands. Rolgan just goes back into his room, not knowing that I have seen his secret lover. No one comes to visit me in the room and I am told to stay there even when the doctors leave. Overwhelmed by everything that has happened that day (finding the skeletons in the forbidden place, cutting up my hands, and realizing that Rolgan doesn't care for me) I start sobbing uncontrollably. I hear the door open and someone wraps there arms around me. At first I though it was Galia or the King but when I open my eyes in turns out to be the elf prince. He doesn't say anything but just lets me cry on his shoulder. At some point I fall asleep on the lone, small cot in the medical room.

I have a dream (a dream within a dream!) of sneaking out of the castle and riding a horse along the river that runs behind the castle. It's a beautiful clear blue day and I run into the elf prince. He finds my "escape" amusing and calls me daring and brave. There is a bit more to this dream-within-a-dream but I cannot recall anymore at this time.

The next day I find out that the elf prince has gone home. I tell the King about Rolgan's apathy towards me and the woman I saw in his room and, to my surprise, the King breaks off the engagement and throws Rolgan out of the castle. I am somewhat relieved that I do not have to marry anymore, but new anxieties about my future arise. I pass the day trying to show Galia how to reuse paint brush handles and make new brushes, but it is all but impossible with my bandaged hands. Later in the day I call for my personal carriage and go with Galia to take her home. I am hoping that getting off of the castle grounds will help alleviate some of my anxieties.

After seeing Galia home my carriage is surround by heavily armoured men on black horses on the road back to the castle. They kill the driver and my guards and drag me to a black carriage that has stopped just behind mine. I get thrown in and land at the feet of Rolgan, who sexually abuses me while on route back to his castle. I get thrown into a tower cell that is empty except for a small narrow window and an old dirty matress on the floor. Left without food and water for what seemed like a forever I was crying when Prince Rolgan returned and raped me and I cannot defend myself at all because of my disabled hands. He eventually leaves and drops a small morsel of food on the floor.

I don't eat, I just cry and give into despair. I do not know how long I am trapped in the tower when I feel someone lift me up and begin to carry me. In my half-unconscious, half-starved daze I cannot tell who it is. There are the bodies of the heavily amoured men laying all about and I snap to full consciousness when whoever is carrying me passes the bloodied body of Prince Rolgan. He is so freshly dead that his blood is still steaming. When we finally exist the castle I can get a clear look at my rescuer - it's the elf prince! Woo hoo! He just smiles softly at me.

The dream becomes fuzzy here as I struggle against consciousness but alas I fail and awaken. And I was hoping for some steamy elven sexual healing, dammit.