rshort1202

I am in Germany with Mom and Makayla. The first place we go to is a small, unassuming office building. Inside, it looks more like a home that has been converted to an office space. It is a perfect blend of the two. For a short period of time, Makayla and I can’t find Mom. At one point, I see her with a glass of non-alcoholic beer with a few sips missing. Part of me thinks ‘Already?’ There are two German ladies here. They are short and squat, older and very friendly. They speak English with a faint German accent. They work here but do not come off as an ‘employee’, eradicating any ‘us vs. them’ and promoting a genuine sense of helpfulness. The music that is playing here is odd and definitely nothing I’ve ever heard in any office building. It’s fairly loud, a slow and melancholy beat with droning female vocals. Through a window, I see that it is overcast out. One of the ladies says they should do something when it lightens up, gesturing as if she’s parting clouds. Now, I am outside with a different lady. We are sitting on a rocky shore against what must be the ocean. As I sit and observe the scenery and feel the perfect temperature, I am overcome with both grief and something close to euphoria, knowing that this is where I belong and that I’ll have to leave. I think I almost start tearing up. The scenery is rocky, but of soft soil and greenery where it is not. The ocean is calm and dampens the temperature to what I would call perfect. I talk to this lady as a small, wooden pallet drifts this way. There are a few seagulls on it that seem to be steering it. It becomes overcast. I think part of me is aware that Germany is not an island. The lady is showing me a map, pointing us out (a clear island), and showing how close we are to the very southern end of the ‘Hawaiian archipelago.’ There is a succession of maybe ten or so tiny islands to the North until I see the familiar cluster of Hawaiian islands. The rest of the map looks like a bunch of green islands close together on the deep blue of the ocean. She is now showing me where I’ll be staying. The house is two stories, wooden, and facing the ocean. It looks like the entire second story has a deck; we’re walking on it now. We see into one of the rooms, and she is nonchalant, but I’m not sure I like what I see. Looking down into the plain room, I see what looks like a dog bed. On it is a dog collar and some rod-like object. The unsettling part is that I think this is for a human )a captive?). Along the wall to the left there is an open cabinet. Attached to its door are about three black sheathes with different knives. I am disturbed because I thought Germany would be completely pleasant and not at all like this.




I’m outside somewhere that looks similar to Midtown, but I think more residential. From a third person perspective I am watching Donald Trump and his advisor jogging. It seems his ‘advisor’ is trying to keep up with him. Now, I am jogging with them. His pace is fast, and I think of his old age. We turn a corner and head down a straight away. For some reason I imagine someone attempting assassination and how it’d be easy right here; I don’t think he currently has any protection. Now, I am home (the house seems unfamiliar) and I hear some activity in the doorway. There’s a member of the press just inside the door, interacting with someone just out of sight outside the door. He steps into view - it’s Donald Trump. I think I’m naked and/or don’t want him to see me yet, so I hop into the ‘shower’, which is actually the refrigerator. I shut the door and just barely fit in here - I think door’s actually still open just a bit. Pressed up against the sides of this ‘fridge’ with nothing but me in it, I don’t recall my ‘shower’ being this small. I turn the water on and it comes out cold.




I must be performing auto fellatio. I am alone in an almost pitch black
space, feeling the sensations of both giving and receiving oral. It is slow and passionate.




I’m in a store with Mom. she points out a case of beer - it’s all of the World Beer Cup gold winners. The white case is probably almost as long as me and I think $15. Though I know it would be a good choice, I just don’t really want to get it.

I am in some store when I see Sean and another, girl employee from the Sephora. I’m waiting for someone in here and think I go over to talk to them. Now, someone tells me that they think they’re stealing, so I keep an eye on them. I think they’re both in uniform. Each has a small bag with them, like a travel size toiletries bag. I notice that Sean’s is open, and I can see that he does have multiples of a certain item. They are crouching down close to a shelf frequently, but I find it hard to believe they’d steal from where they work. Then again, maybe it makes it easier. I’m not sure I directly see them take anything.

I am returning some wine to Total Wine. It is a red wine, but it looks just like a six pack of bottles with a white film over them (like on a Guinness). I walk up to the large counter and hand them over, asking him if I can just tell him the ‘last four’ of my phone number. He says no, he needs the receipt, which is no problem; I take it from my pocket. It’s a long receipt, neatly folded. I notice that the name of the wine happens to be right along a crease. I think he doesn’t see it for a second because of this. He also makes a comment about the wine as he processes the return. He kind of looks like Kevin from work. I am wearing my black mask but notice that many aren’t wearing one, which makes me want to take mine off.




Bailey is in the garage at Mom’s barking incessantly with no reason. Makayla and I both hear it and go out there. The garage is full of stuff. Makayla grabs Bailey by the snout, telling her she’s annoying and that she hates her. I tell Makayla that I just had a dream that Bailey was talking, which I am taking to mean that my dreaming mind knew Bailey was barking.




I am outside with some others. It seems to be a class, and there is a projector and screen. It’s showing two rows of lockers, each against a wall in a hallway. The very first on the right side has some type of structural bolt on top of it. We are all drawing this. It is a video though, and I suggest we pause it on the scene we need, instead of letting it play like they’re doing. We pause it a few different times, none exactly where we need it. I then have the idea to hit the fast forward button while it is paused so that it’ll move one frame ahead. Now, I’m by a small concrete bridge. There is a steel bolt protruding from the side that has two wide, flat prongs so it can be turned. Melissa is here and either she or someone else asks me what it does. I say “I have no idea” but feel bad about myself because I think I really should know. I go ahead and tighten it a bit. Nothing bad happens, but I feel like it had the potential to make it collapse. I see Melissa adjusting the waist of her jeans and think that what I did somehow made her jeans get tighter.



I awaken on what seems to be the bottom bunk bed in a boat. I’m on my back and facing a window. Through the blinds I can see the pre-dawn light. I know it is or is close to 5:30 am. I notice Dad walking past, getting things ready, probably for fishing. I feel fairly awake, possibly contributed to by his being up and around. He’s now asking if I want to come with him. Part of me wants to and part of me thinks I should say yes instead of my usual no. he says they’re exploring some cove? and that on the boat I can use the seat called ‘angel’s rest’? This is a tradition, I think. There is a middle aged man and his son, probably around four, sitting on a couch; they are coming also. I notice how similar the boy looks to his dad. I imagine us on a boat and him talking to me the most since I’m closest to his age. For some reason I also imagine him starting to drown and me being the one to save him. I now grab a plastic water bottle from a fridge and start to get ready.

I’m on a walk. I get to the edge of a driveway, where a Black man has met and is talking to a white, male police officer. I get the impression he has come down here so the officer won’t go on his property. Now, another Black man comes out and does the same thing. The officer leaves amicably and then the first man turns to me and starts handing me some cash, a few crisp bills. He has short hair and seems very genuine. I think it’s a few 20s and I don’t even know what it’s for, so I say no, I can’t take it. The second man, with shoulder length dreads and baggier clothes, tries doing the same, and I think I give in. I think at the beginning of this, I put on headphones to listen to a Tedeschi Trucks Band show (the song was ‘Laugh About It’ into a drum segment). The weather was cooler - I had pants and a long sleeve. I was walking on the right side of the roads [sic] as two girls were coming towards me. I noticed a car coming from behind them and from behind me as I had to go around them to the left, thinking it would leave very little room for the cars.




I’m walking into a store with Sage. I think it’s a reptile or animal store. On the left, I notice three tanks on stands that’ve been covered with a black film or cover. Two older ladies working here say hi and then I think profile or customer service me. This irritates me as we walk into a larger back room, Sage way ahead of me.




I’m on a walk and have ended up on what looks like a sandy hillside that overlooks a beach and the ocean? It is sunset and the thick and vivid layers of deep reds and oranges are absolutely beautiful. There is some kind of electronic trance music playing and it makes for a very ethereal moment. I’m now down on the beach and there are a bunch of people dancing to the music. The sunset is the background, but there are also strobe lights. I think I start dancing.





Granny has died, but I feel comforted knowing that she had the opportunity to say bye to everyone and also that she came to me in a dream (*this seemed very real, and I was recalling pretty much exactly our visit with her yesterday).

I am in a convenience store with Melissa. We’re walking up to the registers, me with a giant bottle of Jack Daniels, her with a giant jug of some pink wine. A guy walks up to one of the empty registers to take us. He’s a little older than us and seems kind of shady. He keeps his head down and says nothing but “IDs.” We show ours; mine is fine, but apparently he has a problem with hers. He slides her a binder in which I think she has to write down a reference? She writes down “Daddi”, who I think is a real person. He then gives her another paper, i guess this one an acknowledgement that she’s not kidding around. She raises her eyebrows at it, slowly writing in big letters, ‘okay’ where her name should go. Now I think he’s making her do another reference. I think she writes ‘Victor’, who, again, I know is a real person. I take it out of her hands and shove it back to him, angrily saying something like ‘no, he’s a real fucking person.’ The guy is now off doing something else, and I watch him from the corner of my eye as I tear out, fold up, and slide into my pocket one of the sheets for a humorous keepsake. I don’t think Melissa wanted me to do it, but I adeptly did it with one hand and without getting caught. Now we are walking into Dad’s house for a get together. I put the Jack Daniels in the fridge, right at home among the other bottles of Brandy, Scotch, etc. I know everyone brought their own, and I feel jealous and somewhat regretful because I don’t even really like Jack Daniels. There are only a few people here so far. One is a lady with short blond hair who announces that she’s leaving really quick because something’s going on with her son. Now we’re sitting around a table, and they’ve made a drink out of the Jack Daniels. I think it has Red Bull and some kind of spice. I’m glad that they like it.

Melissa and I are going to a Tool concert. I think we’ve done some acid, and when we approach the stadium (or it may be the giant stage) I get a strong visual. What looks like a wall of psychedelic flames spreads to each side from a geometrical center of different blues. It is impressive and awe inspiring. We are now finding our seats. They are both on an upper level, but they are not together. I say it shouldn’t be hard finding someone willing to switch. We are sitting together now. I think her mom or Sage’s mom is here. My seat is a corner where the row turns and is more like half of a seat. The first set is over now, and I haven’t felt any further effects from the LSD. Melissa apparently hasn’t either, so we both take more. The ‘acid’ seems to be a small tray of some baked food. We eat the grease at the bottom, and it proves more powerful. Shortly thereafter I am hit with a sudden change in my perception. We look at each other at the same time, eyes wide. After the show, we’re in a convenience store. Melissa shows me three lighters she’s buying. I guess the lighter fluid is the acid or is a component. She seems excited, but I can’t believe she’s getting three, thinking about how much that will make.

I am in a bookstore (that looks pretty similar to Grassroots). I notice Susan Tedeschi in an area by a large window. She has a small group of people around her and is singing to them. Everyone is moving along to the music and having a good time, but I notice that a lot of the, Susan included, are frequently yawning (I also notice Seth from work). I know this isn’t because they’re bored, but because it’s late. Now, I think I am looking around and notice about six DVDs on an end cap. I grab one of the bottom ones; it is a House of Leaves movie that I’m not sure I knew existed. I think the front has a picture of a house, small and simple. The back has a picture of the house, I think from the other side, further away. In the foreground is a ‘woman’., I think back against a fence. Her head is definitely that of a human, but her body looks to be the body of a spider. It is proportionate, which is unsettling, I guess because it is something that should not be that exists so doubtlessly. I get the sense that the one half of her body is mirrored from the other. She is blond and though her face currently seems to be screaming or twisted in anguish, it is attractive. The whole image is tinted red and is subtly but acutely disturbing. There is a small group around me and one asks me to describe the plot of House of Leaves. I hesitate, not really wanting to, then give in. I say it is about a family that moves into a house, where everything goes fine until one day they discover a door that didn’t exist before. I seem to not remember much of the plot and leave it at this. My speech is slow and descriptive and more confident than I thought it’d be.




I’m outside somewhere (a beach?) with some people from work. Someone has asked me and Seth?to move some TV screens off of a table. This plastic folding table is very close to the water. We procrastinate until I see Rosy walking some people over here. I think they’re why they needed to be moved, so we do it really quick. I’m now sitting across from Lauren at a picnic style table. I’m cognizant of how we’re not ‘6 feet’ away. The background is of tall pine trees and a twilight? sky. An owl flies around; I lay down, extend my leg straight up, and try to get it to land on the bottom of my foot.

I am in some small store with Melissa (it looks like a convenience store or something). I notice a shoplifter and become annoyed with her. I eventually go up to her and start cussing at her. A customer here sees what’s going on and actually joins me. There was also something about Melissa being underwater in a small pool of clear water. I noticed her pale skin glimmering, and I think I was picking up pebbles from the bottom and placing them on her supine body.

I am at work (it is some store, but not mine), when I notice a short, pudgy black lady come in that I instantly get bad vibes from. She has a large and empty looking tote bag that rolls behind her and is wearing flip flops. My first thought is that she’ll be heading for the shoes to load up her bag and put on a new pair since there’s no way she’s really wearing flip flops in this colder weather. I follow her a bit, trying to impress upon her that she is obvious and is being watched, but she easily deflects everything I say to her. Now I think I have to leave her for a while because it is busy with shoplifters or there is something else to do and it is just me here. When I come back to her, I see that she is leaving the shoe section and heading towards the front doors. I can see a shoe box in her bag (definitely not the only one either) and see that she has a new pair of what looks like Vans on. I ‘customer service’ her as much as I can, stopping just short of calling her out, because I wasn’t watching her the whole time. I say something about getting the box for the shoes she is wearing, but she is still not having it. She avoids me all the way to the door, when I get in front of her and tell her to come back. She is with a younger girl now and they both take off running. They go to the left and into a WinCo. I stop at the doors and watch as they’re lost among all the people.

I am in some convenience store, waiting for Makayla. I think she said she would be right back or something. She’s taking forever though, and even the Indian? clerk in here notices it. I watch as he rings up two Hispanic? men for a six pack. I think the beer is some bigger name brewery but a weird fruit flavor. I then think it might not be half bad, in a guilty pleasure kind of way. I think about how six packs don’t last that long. Tired of waiting, I talk out and to the right to go find her. It is pretty dark out. There is a covering over a few spaces in this lot. There is also a pool table, at which Makayla is lining up a shot. She seems me and keeps on smiling without a care in the world.

I am at Nathaniel’s, watching him for a while. I’m lying on my back, with my legs straight up, him balancing his torso horizontally on my feet and holding my hands to balance. He seems to be having fun, and his personality is just as I remember it. Now, his dad is here, and he is just as nice as I remember him too.




I am walking into what I think is a huge Walmart. As I walk in, I am cognizant of my middle parted hair hanging almost to my shoulders. I’ve decided that I am growing it out again and am pretty happy with this resolution. I also remember asking Makayla and her saying I should. I think I am going in here for a Christmas gift. I think I’ll look in the kitchen aisle for Mom and then I think for Melissa too. I end up not even finding the aisle, but end up by the cases of water. Everything looks like it is in bulk. I also notice bulk sized jugs of different tequilas and vodkas for around $10. One is called ‘Jimmy John’s Vodka’, which I think cannot be that good. I then get the idea to look at the beer, just to see what they have. There is a somewhat small selection on a few shelves, but then I notice that it is labeled ‘non alcoholic’. I step out into the wide and long main aisle (almost the size of a street) and notice a guy coming towards me on a bike. I started stepping into his path, but then wait for him to pass. I think I am also aware of my eyesight and how it is not that good. I have found the beer aisle now, which seems to be mostly six packs of cans in cardboard boxes. Nothing really looks that appealing. One says ‘Finally Harvest Time’ and has a graphic of a moon and the silhouette of a person. I think that can’t be that good either. Now, I am by some food products and wonder if I should just grocery shop while I am here. I don’t have a basket, but I can carry a few things. I am looking at the breads, thinking about what I would use them for. There is one that looks like four large pretzel rolls. I then notice the same package in someone’s cart, and the bottoms of the rolls look slightly burned. At the end of the aisle now, I see a large, circular, plastic container of frozen chicken tenders. There seems to be three groups, each arranged around a thing of sauce? The label indicates that it is a Phil Lesh brand, which I think is cool. I pick it up, contemplating getting it, but put it back because it’s really big. Then, I hear Phil himself over the intercom, saying that it’s my last chance if I was thinking about getting those. His voice is calm and monotonous, which makes it sort of humorous.

I pull into the parking lot of a shopping center that seems to be on a slight hill. This store - Walmart? - is at the top of the hill. It has a section of close parking and then more farther down. I take a left towards the closer lot even though it looks pretty full. Not that far in, I stop because I see one slanted spot open right before a backed-in truck. It looks like a man is unloading his family, but I’ve stopped at just the right distance to back in, so I do so. Inside the building, it looks more like a used book/record store. It is slightly dingy. There are bins scattered throughout without much reason as far as I can tell, so I start thumbing through a random one. There are about two employees talking to each other. The atmosphere is not exactly inviting. I know Scott works AP here and I wonder what the chances are that he’ll see me on camera. There is a separate room here, but it’s more of the same.

I am on a road trip with Dad and Makayla, with Dad driving. We are going to Texas, and I see that we’re currently driving through a corner of Utah. It is like I am seeing a satellite map of a moment, and I notice that there is snowfall on the ground right above where we are and will be travelling. It zooms and pans to the right a bit. We pass by many lakes in a short amount of time. They are all fairly small, but they are beautiful. The water is clear enough to see the bottom of an entire lake as well as all the light colored and large rocks within.




I am in a store with Sage when I grab off of a shelf at about eye level a bottle of Lagunitas beer. I think I had been looking for it and am excited to have found it. I tell Sage how good it is as I open it up. I grab a glass from the shelf and pour the beer fairly vigorously into it, producing only a small, snow white head. The beer has the appearance of carbonated white grape juice and smells of the same. I take a sip and it is good. I pronounce Lagunitas funny and kind of laugh about it. Now, I am parking on the side of a residential street behind another car. Dad is on the lawn of this front/side yard, faced away from me; I have come to meet up with him. I think I have brought the full glass and the remainder in the bottle, each in a cup holder. I get out and start talking with him. I ask if he’d be offended if I just stayed at Mom’s while I’m going to school. He hesitates, almost as if taken aback, and then replies, “no, of course not.” He says I can do whatever I need to focus on school. I notice we’re under a large oak? tree that splits near the bottom. I’m now in the house here (Dad’s?), I think with Mom and Makayla. There is indication of past activity, though no one is currently here. There are two boxes of Panda Express open on the counter, each with a glass of white wine sitting too near the edge. I notice about five of the Lagunitas beers, all opened and partially finished. It makes me a little mad because he all of them without asking

I am walking through what seems like a shopping mall. The place is seemingly endless, ornate, intricate, and labyrinthine. Each shop is open to the main walkway and exquisitely decorated; I see very little wall space anywhere. They all seem amazing and alluring and like I could get lost in each. Just as well, the building itself has alcoves, inclines, probably stairs, and myriad options of pathways. I will take a route that piques my interest, getting drawn in and lost along the way, though I try to remember the way I came so I can go back and see what else I wanted to. I feel I will never see it all.

I am walking around at work (it looks very different, still like a department store, but not the one I work at) when Ryan calls 432 and says “I need change.” I am not on a phone and think I actually hear him say it since I just so happen to be a few yards from the register he is at. I see three different women in his view and figure one must be who he is calling about. Two look like moms with strollers. The other looks more suspicious, with sunglasses and a large purse. I think they all see me and take off running. There is a small pile of wadded up dresses on the ground that I think the girl with the purse must have dumped. There is also a set of keys, which I pick up and keep. I am now briefly in a room or at a table taking a picture of one of the keys (or some metal piece attached to a key) that has some identifying number on it. I think Laynie is here now and we are watching this girl. She goes somewhere downstairs a bit before going upstairs. I thought she would have been spooked, but it seems like we think she might still steal. I’m now walking around and getting ready to close when I notice there are still a lot of people here.