rshort1202

I’m at work, in the warehouse. It’s currently unbelievably cluttered; carts, boxes, and carts full of boxes are everywhere with seemingly no organization or good way to just get around, Zoe is here too, and it’s just a stressful environment right now. Matthew comes over to me and tells me to come outside to meet his new daughter. (It seems like, in the dream, I’ve already met her, so I’m not sure what this is about). His wife and daughter are in a car out here (the side yard), but he starts talking to me in a low voice - the real reason he brought me outside. He tells me that some people are going to have to get laid off and my name came up as towards the top of the list. I can barely hear him, but make out most of what he says. I don’t understand why I’d be one of the first to go, compared to some of my coworkers who hardly do anything. I feel distressed.

I’m at work and going to be reading a book aloud. I stand between listing and the CP counter, facing the warehouse. The book looks like a kids book, and there are people sitting in a few rows of desks. I prepare myself and also can’t find the beginning of what I’m supposed to read. I say something to them to stall and become self conscious of my voice being the only sound in the room. When I glance up, almost everyone looks disinterested in what I’m doing, which helps with the self-consciousness. I begin reading, stumbling over almost every word, apologizing and trying to continue on level-headedly. Again, nobody seems to care. There is also a shelving cart right in front of me.

At work, the warehouse has been cleared and everything replaced with orderly rows of empty carts (the large white ones). I walk through, happy with the change. Jake and Micheal? are at the CP counter. I start to sort some books, but it doesn’t last long. Now I am in the break room. Ben is about to leave and keeps offering me his weed pen (it is protruding from the center of the backside of a backpack). I say no once or twice, until he holds it right under my face, and then I take a single hit. At first I exhale nothing and think he’s going to think I didn’t really hit it, but then some smoke comes out. I think it’ll be enough to get me high, and I don’t really want to be. I think about me having to drive home, but then I see it’s only 1:51. Matt and Sara now walk in. Matt heads to the back (book fair) and Sara starts talking politics to one of my coworkers. I’ve been listening to the Tedeschi Trucks Band, but I think it’s paused right now.

I am at work. Nicola is here and showing me how to do something. First, we have to take a picture of ourself, looking up through some contraption that looks like a toilet. The camera we use is like the kind my family had when I was a kid. I play around with it and reminisce, since it’s been a while since I’ve seen one of these. She goes first, arranging her skirt? so as not to reveal herself, even though I somewhat pointedly look away. I go next, sitting on the seat, extending my arm down to hold the camera facing up at the bottom of the tube, and snap the picture. Looking at it on the screen, it’s very unflattering. The background is dim and grainy, yet my face is bright and making an uncomfortable looking expression.

I am at work (which looks fairly different than it really does). I have one of the largest carts full of books on one side, and it falls over when I go to move it. It falls on the side with the books, so they get trapped and don’t go anywhere, except for just a few. It feels like an honest mistake, but people get mad at me. I make a joke, but Ben rudely and seriously says not to joke about it. I think about how I can pick it up without the books going anywhere.

I’m about to leave from work for home. Mom calls me to say it’s going to take an extra hour. She doesn’t specify, but I become exasperated, knowing it’s traffic. I just want to be home. I head out now, on a bike, and it looks like I’m downtown. I think I see some patches of snow, but there really isn’t any traffic. On the ride, I discover that the bike’s seat is too high for me, causing some awkwardness. I arrive home now, which is a large, empty feeling house. Mom and Makayla are here. Mom has bought me a bunch of NA beer, a kind I’ve never seen before. I try one and it’s not great.



I’m in the kitchen of some house (it feels similar to Mom’s). Looking through the window above the sink, the view is of a partially sunlit hill. It is tall and steep, slightly rocky, yet lushly green. The illuminated portions (it seems like a sun that’s close to setting) are vibrant and awe-inspiring. Maggie and Stella are out in the yard (which just seems like open space) and I think about calling them in.

I am at work while the Vegas-Florida Stanley Cup game is on. It feels like midday to early afternoon. Zoe is here, but she leaves to go do something. I go into the office and write the current score on the board, 3-2 Vegas. I use orange for Vegas and can’t think of Florida’s colors. I think it’s subtle but that someone who knows what’s going on would understand it. I notice that there are a couple of folding chairs (the ones we have that my mom gave us) throughout the store, some open and some not. I think people might be watching the game here? Now, I’m ringing up some girl who awkwardly offers to buy the table out front and the chairs for $15. She says it with a lisp as she holds the money folded up in front of her. I don’t know how much the table is going for, so I call Zoe. she answers and starts speaking so quickly that it sounds like it went straight to voicemail. She asks if I’m Bruce, sounding paranoid, then asks if it’s me. She says the table can go for $100 and the chairs for $15 each. I tell the girl this. Stella is here, on the counter, and ever so gently steps down, towards the girl who holds her hand out to her.

I’m rolling a cart of Fiction out into the store. The store seems fairly crowded. I put the cart in my usual spot and get ready to start shelving when a younger middle aged, paunchy man in a slightly grimy gray t-shirt starts grabbing off the cart. I notice two of the authors are Brad Thor and Jack Higgins. The Brad Thor mass market that he grabs is pretty beat up but still has a new $6.99 sticker on it. I mention that that’s definitely not new. I grab another copy of the same book and it falls apart at a crease in the spine. The man only speaks to me a few times, and they’re all gruff, things like “Yeah. I want that.”


(fragment) I’m somewhere with Melissa, and we have a very full recycling bin. There are a couple of low, folding beach chairs on top, I don’t know why. (*This one makes me remember that we didn’t put the bins out last night).

I am at work when the phone starts ringing. Someone at the front counter answers it, but I still hear ringing, as if another call came in right after. Nobody answers this one, which irritates me, so I walk to the back. I continue to hear the ringing (more like a vibration) and search for the phone back here. It’s hanging on what looks like an unfinished wood wall (the whole area back here seems structurally more like a barn or something). I start hopping over a small gate to go turn it off… *when I wake up and realize it’s my phone alarm that’s been going off.

I am at work and going to pick up some food for those of us here (not too many, it seems like). I end up at a Taco Bell. The interior is large and empty, the counter is long and minimal, revealing the large kitchen behind. The employees all seem to be teenage boys who aren't doing much of anything. There also seems to be too many of them for how slow it is, maybe six or more. They’re also all wearing face masks, all just under the chin. I step up to the counter and the only girl in here takes my order. I didn’t really know what to order, so I just get one of their party packs.

I’m at work, and we are rearranging and/or moving the break room. I think I’m with Ben and Zoe. This place looks nothing like work and more like a little kitchen and living room. I don’t notice any windows. I carry a small, short, square table into one of the rooms. Setting it down with a foot or so of space between the two sides and two walls, I imagine a few of us awkwardly sitting around it. Ben now tries to lift a full book shelf (it looks like the one in our bedroom) by himself and breaks a little piece of a shelf off. I offer to help and he sets it down. I think I’ll take the books off first. Now, I’m in a small tent that is set up right in the middle of an intersection. I think it’s two lanes and a stoplight for each road. I know that this is the new beak area. I try to relax but really can’t, knowing that I’m in the middle of a road. I somehow see a truck drive through the intersection and veer to miss the tent. I don’t want it to always be like this.

I think I am at Aly and Adam’s place (not at all what it really looks like). This place seems like it’s far away from any others. It’s a modest house with a modest but nice yard. It seems like this is a get together with the family. We pass through the house and into the yard (which is maybe the size of the warehouse at work or maybe a little bigger). After a moment, I notice that the yard is completely enclosed with a white tent structure that comes off the roof of the house at the one end and has its own wall at the other. It seems dark out but it’s fairly illuminated in here, with a subtle but cool effect. Cousin Jon is here; I give him a handshake and one armed hug. I think he lifts me off the ground a bit. I ask him how life has been. I think some people are kicking a soccer ball in here (it is all grass).



I’m lying in bed with Melissa in a completely unfamiliar room (it somehow reminds me of my bedroom at Dad’s, though I think it looks nothing like it). We cuddle facing each other; I notice a large black and yellow frog slowly making its way up the wall. I know my gaze is fixed on it, but I try to make no intimation that anything is there. I get up to try to catch it.



Zoe has sent an email that asks something like ‘Ryan? Is that lucid enough?’ It’s about how hot the store and warehouse get. I am going to research OSHA and other sources and put together a large reply.



I’m at what feels like work (though it looks nothing like it). There are radial stone steps outside of the front doors and a man sitting on them. I think we are currently closed. I go out and sit by him. I tell him “thank you for filling in for Bill (Kreutzman).” (This guy is not Jay Lane, however). He seems appreciative, and I continue talking with him.

I’m at work. A FedEx delivery person, a black man with short dreads, comes to the counter with a delivery. He’s just about to leave, but I tell the new Ethan to have him wait just a second. I go into the office to grab some book bucks as a tip, putting them into an envelope. When I come out he is about to leave, making me wonder if Ethan even told him. I jog to the parking lot to catch up to him and give him the book bucks. He takes them and thanks me, looking genuinely happy. I am also now carrying a bench (the one we have in our bedroom) to give to him. It seems like there is a large piece of bacon? under the cushion.

I am at work. The space looks entirely different, and I’m in a room I’ve never seen before. I think it is a break room. It’s fairly empty, with a large, empty table in the center. It looks like there’s also a sliding door closet. Ethan and Jess are here and I think we start talking about how more room could be made in here. I look in the closet, which looks like it contains a few things we don’t use. I think about how to rearrange things in here.

I’m at work and walking from the direction of the second office to the front counter. I notice the regular Lance talking to the new Ethan at the computer closest to me. Lance must have asked if something is in; without even looking, Ethan tells him something like we haven’t gotten our shipment or he would’ve heard about it. This irritates me because I know it is here. I interject “meet me in the parking lot, Lance.” What I have for him is a simple looking black handgun. I slip it into my waistband (of my athletic shorts?) which is not sturdy, as it ends up in a few different places. I go between the two offices looking for the box of ammo that I know I have, but can’t find it anywhere. I end up walking out without it. Lance has been waiting right outside the door; I walk off to the side a bit with him, not sure how discreet this should be. He looks happy when I pull it out and hand it to him, handle first. We’re right outside of a truck full of unfamiliar people that he must know. I get into the truck, everyone in camo and similar outdoor gear, and it feels like we’re setting out for a trip. We are sitting on what feels like a water bed in the bed of the truck. We’re on a dirt road up in the hills and climbing some steep inclines. The one we’re on right now becomes almost vertical, but we drive right up and over it. I wonder what it’ll be like to come back down this. We’re parked now and I get out. This area looks like a small crater or bowl. The view is of the entire surrounding area and is impressive. I think we’re going to be spending the night here, which I am fine with.