DarkestDarkness

23rd January 2021

Multiple sequences from one dream:

Very trippy bit just before waking up.

Before that, I am at a building. A utilities company or office building. I am waiting to be seen or talk to someone. There had been a mistake of some kind on a bill, so I got 60 off as a voucher, but the company was cheeky and raised the price anyway in the end, resulting in only 10 off in total.

In a larger room, with open plan connections and several large windows, I speak to a woman at a desk. I basically ask her if I can't speak to someone here about retentions; I want to get a better deal. She says no.

There's a spray bottle on a table, it has a transparent green-blue liquid and the label has a number on it? I start typing it on my phone's dialler, it takes me a while, it's a long number? Things start to get trippy at this point.

For each set of three numbers, there's something that looks like skin showing up on my phone? This image, which is more real than just image, pans from side to side as I go through each set.

An eye appears in each equivalent bit for each set I complete.

(recall starts becoming vague, two separate sequences blending)

Final bit of some sequence, I'm inside a mouth with multiple openings, about seven I think. There's enough standing room and a bit of headroom but not much. The multiple openings open and shut periodically, I think. Sunlight comes through, there's a beautiful blue sky outside. I'm adding missing features to the mouth, like teeth and I reach or am outside to add some sort of ceramic scales to the outer part. It's all a bit jumbled, can only say it was a bit too trippy to recall accurately.

Mixing. I'm going to Romania by someone's request. He was organising some kind of "save the world" thing? I remember going about with a group of people, night time but bright?

(recall gap)

Using a double barrel shotgun of some kind, it doesn't feel as good to use as I'd hoped. It has a locked firing mode that fires each barrel in sequence with a set delay if I press the trigger once. I expected it to fire one of the two barrels only per trigger press. I fight some soldiers with berets. Something reminds me or looks like Promethea.

At one point I remember being in a bedroom of some sort. Open sky, no ceiling and not all walls are here. I feel I am stealing or intruding, but it doesn't stop me. I find a box full of mini-discs and floppy disks.

Dream:

(from falling asleep again in the morning)

At one point I'm in my native country. I'm with old schoolmates, like JC, R and some others. It's a very hilly town we're in. There are loads of people about, there's some kind of event going on?

Then, I find myself in a shop, deviating from where the group was going, I remember expecting I'd be able to catch up. Some kind of real-time advert is taking place here and it's for olive oil of all things. It almost feels Japanese, the advert. But the olive oil and the general look of the shop make me realise and conclude that I must be in my native country. Pre-lucid thoughts.

I see coins in the register being handled, they are not Euros, but they are instead an altered version of the currency my native country had prior to the Euro. I don't question things further despite finding this odd, accepting the context even with some lingering amazement at all this.

More walking around the hilly town. Eventually, I'm inside a big building. A theatre or a mix of one and a church or something. Someone mentions pipe organs. I think to myself that if I was wealthy I would buy some to make a car's adornments with.

I climb some stairs, I'm with someone up in a gallery. We're talking to another person, but they don't feel like a person? Looks like an old man though. He's some kind of curator and he mentions manipulating pupils (like university students). Me and the other person conspire with eye glances to each other that we're about to kill this old man, who we find to be immoral and tyrannical. When he turns over and is facing a part that has no railing, we both strike him with a large object at the same time, like chairs maybe.

The old man falls down, one or two stories. We presume him dead and see some witnesses downstairs are approaching to look and we go down via the stairs. We approach the supposed corpse; he still lives and surprises us with an attack and we become locked in a battle with the old man. The dream becomes a bit supernatural or trippy.

The fight follows down a hall that turns into a desert canyon, just before the dream ends.

9th December 2020

Fragment:

Some bits in the car with H. I remember it was night time. Vague recall relating to something BL-like too. (location recall faded and dream not visually present in my mind anymore)

13th December 2020

Dream:

I am in some town, it is day time but nearly sunset. There's some downward ramp bit which leads out of town but there's a fence at the end of the ramp and I recognise this as being some kind of little construction supplies area. There's nobody around? (rest of this first dream bit recall had faded)

Then I am in my old town. It seems kind of dark and I'm walking up the avenue next to the church but I'm on the road itself, not the pavement. Not a night sky, just a black one. (like in a recent previous dream)

Things are RPG-like I note, and I spot some enemy players coming from the opposite way, toward me and from two opposing ends of the roundabout at the top. It starts to feel like DOTA and the view becomes more top-down too.

I try to lure one of these enemy players over to my side/area and I make sure to stay at a certain distance from them (interface perception of attack ranges?). I sense an allied player is nearby too. Me and one of the enemies stun each other simultaneously and then the other enemy player comes in. I get the first one nearly dead kind of quickly but I too am near death and so I wonder why my ally isn't or hasn't been helping me fight.

Friendly mobs come around from "behind" and I get the first enemy player killed, I'm very, very nearly dead and I retreat away. My ally finally joins in and distracts the second enemy.

I get to our main base and am thinking about how my HP regeneration is so slow and how I should (could) improve my strength stat to better this. I remember thinking or noticing that I didn't buy any of the usual starting items like I should have, not even tango or branch.

8th October 2020

Fragment:

In space, it looks like Freelancer, kind of. (Like most of my recent Freelancer themed dreams, the scale looked vast and more realistic)

First I launched from a planet in a system completely filled by a nebula, like Omicron Beta, but not. The star looked dimmed through the clouds as it would in the actual game. I had a complex reputation standing with the factions so when some ships from a hostile faction appeared out of a trade lane, some friendlies immediately started turning red. Soon the whole system was after me and I tried to evade them in the usual ways. There was Rheinland navy in this system.

I got to a wormhole? Then I'm in a different system. A Sigma type system. There was a large yellow star and some distant planets beyond it, as well as small nebulae and asteroid fields. The background itself was a light blue-grey nebula, but I don't remember the shape of it.

I can't recall what my ship was like but I was using turret mode at some point to look around while cruising. I used a trade lane eventually but interrupted travel through it, halfway, and then veered off toward a darker area of the system behind an asteroid field. There were TIE fighters? I scanned the ships and saw the weapons were class 3, but somehow had a hull damage stat of around 3.4k. Their lasers were blue and the lasers themselves were classed as pulse-laser guns. I remember going toward a capital ship of some kind and landing on it.

I got in a control room and remember taking some black gloves, they felt slightly heavy? Thoughts about Darth Vader and his armour. Then some crew landed on the capital ship and got to me and started attacking. An officer of some kind told me I only had a few seconds to live?

Fragment:

Reality mixed in with BL. A portal to my place was used or being opened. It was Ar, who had the form of that gecko pokemon, whatever its name is, with a mostly black and red colour scheme.

Remember talking to him and telling him about the rooms in this in-game place. But I think I was wanting to move my base or something. At some other point some random furries appeared?

---

Notes:
- The unlikely weapon stats for a class 3 weapon could have been a good dream sign/dream indicator but I feel this came about from recently thinking about some of the bigger mods for the game, like TNG.

23rd August 2020: DFLN

24th August 2020 DFLN

Dream:

About classic WoW. On my gnome rogue, using a 100% riding horse. I'm in Winterspring? I fight some lions (but they don't look wintery/snowy like the local tigers should). In-line note: The night before this dream I had watched for the first time the trailer for the remake of Lion King, which I had heard of but not seen much about.

I'm Combat-specced, I think. There were other player characters nearby but I don't remember any interactions, mix of Horde and Alliance, I think. Then Hnk messages me as I'm going to the town, which is more realistic and I walk toward a little shop in one of the buildings.

Hnk was upset about guild recruiting. Some girl lied about something specific in the application to join? But apparently this was normal. I remember we messaged each other for a while, whilst I was still outside but in the middle of the town.

Then I'm in the shop. I remember eventually I stop making notice of the chat UI for a bit. The shop is like one of those little convenience stores where you buy newspapers, magazines and play lottos, etc. There's a lady who runs the shop, behind a counter. I just look around at first.

Something changes as I'm talking to Hnk via messages. Now, all of a sudden, the shop is full of "dirty" magazines. They are pretty much the only thing for sale here now, mostly featuring naked women with artificially bigger breasts. Most of them seem to be around my age. I find it all to be more distasteful than I normally would somehow. Then the lady at the counter complains to herself about how people keep going into the private areas at the back.

I sort of join in and comment that it's ridiculous, people should surely know not to go past the counter. The lady appreciates my understanding of her situation and then I approach and ask her about something. (What?) And then I remember that I was supposed to sort something out while I was here, but I forget what, so we both take guesses at what it could be, for a while. I remember closing my eyes and resting against the counter while I try to remember.

Eventually I "recall" that I needed to sort out some kind of prepayment card. For Hnk? But mom asked me to do it? The lady shows me a plastic plate/card with some information and I try to take a photo of it with my phone, which feels unusually big and unwieldy.

The dream ended shortly after, and there were other dreams but I couldn't recall them.

---

Notes:

- This dream features mixed parts of recent life (classic WoW) and parts of my late teens.
- In the dream, I vaguely recall having thoughts that although I found the magazines distasteful, they were this lady's business, so I made sure to not comment anything out loud about it to myself. This may be a partially direct message aimed at some part of me, using some role reversal as metaphor in the dream.
- The chat with Hnk was particularly long via whisper messages. I only wish I could have recalled more specific wordings or details.

- This dream felt nostalgic in a sense; WoW dreams are generally nostalgic anyway for me but they also tend to be novel, featuring adventures unique to myself and often in alternate versions of game locations or completely new areas. But the shop was reminiscent of when I would go to such shops to play the lottery in my late teens and I often did notice there were these types of lewd magazines at those shops; as I got older I felt like it became more common but maybe this was just a shift of my own perspective. Because of this, in a way, the dream felt nostalgic of how things were before everything started to feel sexualised in some sense.

Edit: Added in 16th August 2020

Dream:

The dream was a bit like Final Fantasy somehow. Had a cinematic-like presentation, long dream overall.

At a mall with H, meeting up with my mom and dad. There are three bad guys around and we help local security deal with them. I remember a rectangular area of the mall, it had four escalators or six, two at each end (four in total) and then another two at the central area?

Then I'm walking outside with H, we're holding our arms together. Some Australian guy appears and makes a remark of some kind? I get annoyed by it and I sort of snark at him but not too much, as he looks well built and I'd rather not get into a fight. He kind of goes quiet.

We go for a wee? At some point the guy apologises, something about being gay being illegal in Australia; I accept his apology and say I understand that he has a different background.

A girl? At a castle/mansion place. I remember the outside walls of some castle tower buildings, we were walking along them earlier. The girl is from an earlier part in the dream. I remember being bare foot and feeling cold tiles but not being bothered enough by it for me to mention it.

---

18th August 2020

Dream:

At the end of the dream, me and H were using some kind of Matrix VR headset. Were we watching or maybe participating in a show of some kind?

Then I remember being with H in my parents' old bedroom. We're both naked and we're sort of just lounging about? At one point, H starts getting aroused and we both get a bit silly, making jokes or something. I remember making a Scorpius impression.

I remember running water. Some kind of device attached to a wall. It was leaky, or poorly sealed. Then I remember something else about MB and I was upset that he was lying to someone again, and then he was pretending he hadn't done anything.

---

20th August 2020

Dream (DFLN Thread):

Part of a very long dream. Something about some dream characters, within some big building. A girl who tries to tackle me I think? I seem to remember the building wasn't finished or something, as I remember seeing a lot of bare concrete and open sections.

I dodge the girl's tackle and she falls from three stories high, and she comes apart into several bloody pieces as she hits the floor, but the "tearing apart" seems to not correspond to the impact that had occurred, as it seems lethargic compared to the actual impact and fall.

Several dream characters and small interactions with them? (Like what... Nicely detailed!)

At some point I was in some very distorted version of my old home but with my current neighbours. At some point me and H are in a version of my old room.

I remember hearing the neighbour scream like we've heard it in some mornings before but we mostly just ignored it this time. I also remember the lady from the old couple had someone over, and she was talking so loudly we could hear her voice clearly through walls.

By the end of the dream I'm looking at the computer. I'm on my browser, on the usual art site. Dream-generated art from other artists and I remember commenting or interacting somehow. Something about an art piece focused on a giant maw and its teeth.

Then I remember being on DV looking at my DJ and seeing that I got my Roman numerals numbering wrong somehow and in more than just a few entries. It makes me wonder in the dream, if I should rename them all and just scrap the idea.

---

Notes:
- Although I don't get them so much anymore I still sometimes have these dreams with MB in them. What surprises me a bit is that in the dreams I don't react violently to his presence. There's usually a context of normalcy, as if contact had never been broken but with the subtext that he'd still done something wrong.
- I don't remember any details of the VR headset thing but it sounds interesting. It's reminding me now of some very ancient dreams I had in my childhood (before I even watched the Matrix, I think?).

- The girl that falls to literal bits, this was probably partly brought on from playing KF, in which the enemies come apart when killed and in, I suppose, quite gruesome ways; though when playing I usually find this to be quite amusing because of the physics effects and sometimes the slow-mo effect makes it all the more amusing.
- The thing about the DJ numerals has occurred to me before as passing thoughts while on DV and away from it too. I have had thoughts about how the system will become cumbersome when it reaches very high numbers.
- The second dream, in the part where I was looking at art; this may have been part of a subconscious process that recently pushed me to trying to do something creative together with another artist. But as with the rest of my dreams on this recurring subject the focus is on interaction, a part I feel deeply deprived of quite often.

- Also worth noting that I was a bit lax with my recall and DJ efforts for about a week, in good part because of schedules and also because of tiredness. I often find it frustrating when I want to make note of dreams while feeling physically incapable of it (fatigue, pain, etc).

Chronological re-direction entry;

2nd August 2020

4th August 2020 - 1

4th August 2020 - 2 (lucid)

---

5th August 2020

Fragment:

Canyons and ravines. Going around with someone else, but don't recall who.

Eventually something about escaping or getting away. An alien "saucer" ship. Vision, of an alien communicating in an unknown language, as if on a holographic screen/display. One word stands out from the alien's speak however: Hyperdrive.

I need to find a hyperdrive for these aliens, or find a suitable person to repair theirs maybe, I remember thinking. The drive would be mounted at the top of their ship?

Still in the same dream, in my old home's building in the stairwell. Something seems different from how it should be. I go to one of the in-between level landings and go through one of the storage areas behind the frosted glass. They have a door on the other side which leads to a different, but mirror version of the stairwells. I don't question this in the dream, but it would have been a very good point for a RC, as this construct would be physically impossible in reality, there would be a drop on the other side, not a mirror version.

The stairwell was well lit by natural light, but still many dark contrasts. Unlike in present day, the stairwell had no automatic lights.

---

6th August 2020

Fragment:

Some early dream part was something about sending waves of hundreds of "native" fighters, fighting for some cause that a faction I belonged to was pursuing. These native fighters kept being annihilated by the enemy, which was simply better equipped.

After this happened more than a few times (I remember seeing it, but not being there), I went to the fronts myself, only to find that there was no strategist in place here and so felt it was no wonder they kept getting slaughtered by the enemy. Lack of equipment could have been substituted by adequate and cautious strategy to defeat these openly arrogant enemies.

Fragment:

By the end of this dream I was watching some kind of live concert? There was a white female singer in the centre of a room. She started to sing a song I don't know, it was titled "Snowflake" or something. At first I thought that it was going to be silly, but then I found myself relating to the lyrics of her song, feeling like it was a song that could have come from H's perspective about me. The lyrics started off something like "something as simple as; merry Christmas!; is enough to [something] my snowflake".

In-line note: Re-writing this here now, it seems there's still a lingering emotional link, despite not remember the dream very well visually; this suggests to me that this is attached to a very specific part of my subconscious, as I only have a few specific instances of this happening.

Because I found myself relating to the lyrics so oddly and so specifically, I did a reality check. I had the correct number of fingers, and my fingers wouldn't pass through my palms, so I decided perhaps too quickly that reality was consistent enough that I wasn't dreaming.

I remember the whole thing was all very "sing-along", with people in an audience playing their own instruments, in perfect time with the music, somehow just right, with no flaws at all.

---

Extra note:

- The music in the singing lady dream was, to my memory, completely dream-generated, but it did have elements of old timey singing/melody, which H does listen to a fair bit and I usually listen to as well when H does.
- The first fragment from the 6th came from an incredibly long dream, I remember being in a lot of different places, mostly tents, trenches, battle-scarred streets, etc. I remember many scenes of both brightness and darkness, but I seem to be remembering an overly orange, sandy tone to the dream.

23rd July 2020

Dream:

In a house like in Terraria, with a similar viewing angle/style just with more realistic detailing. But the dream itself started out more like reality and I got in this house bit. I was on a cliff ledge or something, there was a sandstone building and it was kind of dark, I believe there was a sort of cliff overhang above. It was daytime but there was no direct sunlight here, just bounced light. I was there to kick some people out?

There was a bit of bedlam inside the house when I first got in. Some of my family was there and there was a lot of old and dark stain furniture. Eventually I left the house while it was in the Terraria view mode and things became 3D again and more like BL.

Remember some bit about fighting a special UFO boss. (DFLN thread) Travelled really far at high speed while fighting it. Come to think of it, reminds me of some old Sega Megadrive games... I defeated this boss and it crashed in a body of water and the high-speed chase thing was over. Then I wanted to get inside the machine via a hatch and I remember jumping in the water or something but the hatch was like a massive AAA battery port too and I had to disconnect and remove the terminals and parts of the casing? I remember initially thinking about needing air, but then realising or thinking that it didn't matter or something.

I seem to remember there was a lot more to this dream, but the detail is all gone.

Mostly remember fragments of a single continuous dream.

---

Dream fragment:

Something about a subway. Remember trying to catch a train but it was only three carriages long instead of the expected six, so I and most of the people on the platform didn't manage to get on. I was there with someone, family? Aunt or something.

Another part of this dream, remember being in the car (or train?) with mom and dad, possibly some sibling too. I remember seeing fires in the countryside that looked deliberate, as there were trees burning just under high-power transmission lines at a few different spots along the journey. I remember asking my parents if I should call the firemen, but they dismissed the idea that it was malicious and so eventually I ended up dismissing it too.

Dream:

I was playing some altered version of Freelancer with H. It looked more detailed and we were in a pretty dark system. There was a base with view to a planet nearby, Earth-like. We went to the base and docked there. The scale of everything was more accurate than in the actual game, though the interfaces all seemed to be in the same style as ever. I think at first we were a bit confused because we'd docked in different parts of the base, but I looked at the missions board and found some mission that had conflicting credit reward numbers. But it seemed like it would pay well anyway so I suggested we take this mission, something about a research vessel. I realised it might be challenging for a single player but should be fine with both of us doing the mission.

After taking the mission we took off from the base and started exploring. A frigate class ship appeared and it looked hostile, though shouldn't have been because of the mission, but H decided to attack it; we dealt with it somehow and continued. We were headed the direction opposite from where the planet was. The space background was mostly black with stars, not usually the case in Freelancer. As we tried to find the mission objective we went past a big asteroid base, belonged to the Xenos. It was white (neutral) to us because of the mission as expected and their fighters were fighting some other faction I didn't make note of.

Missing content or transition.

I remember being in a cave? Water-filled. I was swimming, something happened just before this but not sure what. I was holding this pendant that had a sapphire encrusted in it. Despite being a cave with no natural light, I could see fairly well. I swam fast to try to find an opening with air, though my concern wasn't over myself, it was over the gem. I remember a lady told me I couldn't let it crack, which it would apparently do eventually if it stayed in the water. (I assumed because of pressure, despite the small depth)

I found a sloping exit of the cave and got out of the water. The pendant and its gem were fine though I'd heard a few cracking noises while swimming. I was in a bigger cave system now. A kind of nexus of tunnels by the looks of it. I remember walking toward the leftmost tunnel from where I stood, it seemed to lead outside. As I got near an opening, there were people there. My cousin T? She was being held by this unknown man or something. I had three knives of different sizes and grabbed the biggest one, a curved blade, and stabbed the man in the lower right back, just under the ribs. He groaned I think but otherwise didn't seem that hurt. I tried something else; I wanted him to leave and so I threatened to cut his leg off, but he didn't take my threat seriously. I grabbed one of the knives, this one serrated, sharply so, and started cutting his right knee. Very quickly the bone became exposed and I started to cut the cartilage between the several bony bits. His leg's lower half came off and again he didn't seem that bothered, but it seemed like he gave in. Vague recall of cutting other of his limbs, but then all of a sudden he was fully re-attached as if nothing had ever happened, and he got ready to leave.

I don't remember any of the interaction between myself and my cousin. I remember then going back into the tunnels and finding some other outdoor place, a volcanic wasteland of sorts? There were bits and pieces of an ancient dragon scattered about. The sky looked cloudy or dusty, with warm colours to it. I don't remember feeling hot though. A woman approached me at some point, we discussed something of a philosophical nature, but I don't remember what.

Missing content or transition.

Exploring some kind of castle. Looked like it had been made by Gaudi himself; it was very busy, lots of tourists. Me and H were at the top of this castle building, and we were crawling around through these narrow and cramped white/off-white plaster-like half tunnels. I remember giving way to some old people at some point. I don't remember much anymore other than some visual details like the very rounded shapes and the fact that it was sunny, which meant there were all these rounded shadows.

Yesterday was quite a busy day so even though I'd made notes on waking, didn't get a chance to write the dreams on the DJ here. There's a fragment from today too.

Last night I tried to incubate a dream about a painting I have on my easel at the moment. I want to figure out how to do these clouds like another painting I've seen very recently.

Unfortunately every time I was in the process of visualising the dream and setting intentions to become lucid etc., my thoughts would start drifting away in a random direction and it would take me a little while before I realised this was happening each time. In the end I guess I just fell asleep, but had no dream that I can recall relating to this incubation.

Either way, may continue to try and incubate this specific dream over the next few nights. If nothing else, it'll get me thinking about the painting.

---

Dream Fragment, one day ago:

My sibling T, driving. I'm in the car too, but on the back seat? It's dad's car I think, or something like it. Countryside roads and hilly landscape. The sky is a bit grey, but it's daytime. Looked more like here than there (old home).

Someone else is in the car with us, not sure who, but they're of small stature. Female? Makes a comment on how good T's hair is looking. I think to myself, or perhaps even comment out loud about how much better the hair does seem versus the last few years.

Scrap, one day ago:

Fighting/shooting in a game. A mix of Unreal Tournament and a tank game I've played more recently.

Dream Fragment, today:

I was playing or in World of Warcraft. I was playing a female gnome rogue and was in the Wetlands, I remember the grungy and practically wet atmosphere quite well. I saw another gnome player, but they were a Horde character somehow. I noticed they'd spotted me so I used stealth and waited for them to come past.

I opened with a stun from stealth and then after the stun I tried to manage my energy so that I'd be able to interrupt any spells as they'd start casting. The enemy gnome was a mix of a warlock and a mage? I seem to remember winning the fight but it felt like it took a very long time.

---

No notes.

Only some small fragments. Didn't make notes on getting up and the DJ wasn't the first priority after getting up.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was helping or teaching a small boy. He was from a village called Fargoth? It was South-East from wherever I was, somewhere in the North of England. I remember seeing it on a map, a mix of an online map and a city-building game map. I remember we looked at maps together too, he talked about Spain for some reason and I remember zooming in on the deserts and seeing farmland.

Dream Fragment:

I was helping a North American general, he wanted to take me and a group to battle somewhere specific. In the dream I had already been in battle at that place before. The general must have been in his fifties but had white hair for the most part. I remember he had a typical US soldier's helmet from decades past, not a modern one.

We went to the place and we were under fire from pretty much all directions. I remember it was dark and atmospheric, the sky was a certain mix of red and black and smoke. The general wanted to go after a certain Zen-Chi and so I lead him up a hill where I knew he was firing from or something. This entire location had small houses and maybe was a small fort or old castle? I remember a little market thing, in ruins.

At the top of this climb, mostly stone steps, there was a wooden shed. There were loads of woodworking tools on the outside, and other sharp implements that had nothing to do with woodworking.

The general wanted to go head in, I stopped him physically. I told him he couldn't, that was exactly how I'd lost a friend to Zen-Chi myself and so I decided we'd taunt him a little first. We shouted at him from outside to try and unsettle him; then we opened the creaky wooden door. It was brighter inside, there were some tungsten bulbs lighting the place. There were physical separations or curtains all over the inside, but before I went in, from the tool rack, I grabbed a long and heavy metal rod that had a perfect point at one end. It was like a cast aluminium javelin, it was odd.

Despite it's length I managed to manoeuvre inside with it. I motioned for the general to stay back and I crouched, seeing under the separators inside the shed. I could see Zen-Chi's feet. I approached slowly and heard him taunt back at us now, I can't remember what he said.

Then, when I was close enough, I struck his foot with the sharp point of the javelin, quickly pulling it back and then I think I got up and opened the barrier, which was a curtain after all, and struck Zen-Chi in the head with the sharp point, then his chest.

In that moment it was somewhat unsettling to strike him on the head, which made me feel as though I'd hesitated, but I wanted to be sure he'd die, hence the second strike on the chest.

---

Notes:
- The hesitation and unsettling feeling of striking someone in the head so brutally like I did against this dream character reflects well how I feel about certain situations in fighting. I feel it's somewhat foul to destroy someone's face and head, not to mention it paints a very gruesome picture in my imagination.

- The plot of that dream was pretty generic, as I have no special reason to have been on either side of the dream's conflict.

- In waking life, H pointed out that Zen-Chi seems like a pretty generic name, which may even not be a name at all, since it's just two oriental words relating to the spiritual and meditative worlds.

- When Zen-Chi was dying, he had an expression of surprise on his face. I'm remembering now that one of the taunts that me or the general shouted at him was that we'd take all his woodworking tools once we were done with him.

- The dream where I was helping the boy was much longer, but because I didn't make any notes and had it very early on in the morning, very few details were retained through sleeping again and having the second dream.

- The red, black and smoke of the second dream reminded me of Stratholme in World of Warcraft. It sort of seemed to imply that the atmosphere itself was practically on fire, but during that dream I remember seeing tracer bullets and shells flying above us, very similar to a tank game I've played recently.

Yesterday the same as usual lately, wasn't able to make notes in the morning and then forgot too much. Managed to make some notes this morning.

---

Dream:

World of Warcraft dream. I was a dwarf paladin and I remember being teleported to the Scarlet Monastery. I was next to the instance entrance doors and from there I went across the halls, down to the stairs at the other end. I don't remember seeing any scarlet troops.

I had a two-handed weapon, and directly to my right after coming down from the stairs was the meeting stone (which I think isn't the correct location for it). Across the way, where the meeting stone should probably be was an orc hunter, around level 90, sitting. I don't remember seeing or knowing what my own level was.

I walked for a bit but then decided to get on a mount. In the dream, I remembered or realised I had just bought the 100% riding skill, and then summoned a worg-looking mount. The worg looked thin and sort of rough, which seemed a bit odd, but I didn't really care at the time.

Starting to ride away, I could see with my camera rotated that the orc was getting up and then he started using his auto-shot attack. He didn't use any special abilities but each of the arrows was hitting for about 900 damage, which seemed to be about 10% of my health each time. I took about three shots in total, managing to ride away far enough but the last shot had hit me from what I thought was an unreasonable distance in the game, over 90 or so yards.

I rode the worg through the plagued and sombre woods of Tirisfal and toward the Western Plaguelands. I remember the atmosphere clearly, with its slightly dead blue-green tinge. I remember seeing something in the sky, but not sure if it was the moon or the sun. As I rode the mount through the woods, I went past a ruined human or scarlet tower, but I didn't see any enemies or creatures anywhere.

When I got to the area of Tirisfal that is closest to the Western Plaguelands, it was more like a volcanic area, more like something I'd expect from Cataclysm than a classic area. At first this bit was sandy with shrubs here and there, somewhat desert-like, but there were burnt trees and courses of lava. I remember it was day time but as I went further into this zone it got darker. It felt like it had been an extremely long ride from Tirisfal and I can't recall all the details of the journey. I do remember a number of different passing thoughts, mostly about potentially being attacked, but very vaguely.

Going along a road in this zone, I headed towards some tunnel I saw before on my map interface. To the north of the tunnel entrance was a ruined building. It looked like an Alliance fort or barracks, but it was supposed to be a hospital in the dream? Someone, I can't remember who, suggested I go there, but I said I'd already been there or something.

As I entered the tunnel, which had a car-tunnel feel to it, I noticed another player riding their mount come up behind me. I think it was an undead but he didn't seem hostile and he had this orange hat that I remember from early quests in TBC. He had a strange blue mount that I can't really remember very well. I checked my character panel and it said my mount speed was 140% with all my bonuses, but this guy still managed to slightly faster, probably at about 160%. He overtook me and eventually I lost sight of him.

On the other side of the tunnel I explored a little rock island surrounded by lava courses and I heard the distinct sound of a character in stealth nearby. I dismounted and tried to find the player; it was a tauren druid prowling in cat form. I attacked and used kidney shot, a rogue ability; and before the stun ended, I used a cat form ability too and used a different stun, not really giving the druid a chance to fight back. He took a ton of damage, or what felt like it but eventually died. Oddly enough, the form effect should have ended for him at that point, but didn't, so the corpse looked like the cat form and not the tauren form. I realised while attacking that he was level 137 or something, which then made me realise I was 19 levels below that, and that was why it took so long to kill him.

Other stuff happened, not sure what. I think I used some other druid forms but the next thing I remember I'm at my old home, as "myself", in the downstairs part. Mom and other people are there, but I'm not sure who. There was this man with no top on, a dream character and I think he was injured? This part of the dream went on for a while but I've forgotten most of the details.

Dream Fragment:

Something about power going off, but in a weird way, where only a few things went off. I think I was in the kitchen?

---

Notes:
- In the dream, my character level didn’t seem to be well defined but the mixed usage of abilities could have been a clear dream sign, as well as the dream-created volcanic landscapes.

- Like with my other dreams that involve old known locations, this was also one of those dreams where the dream mind is starting to take more liberties with how the places look. This is interesting because recently I was thinking that the reason those old places were being so altered in dreams was a result of not visiting them for a long time, but I have played WoW recently enough that this theory doesn’t really seem to make as much sense anymore.

- Plenty of somewhat obvious dream signs in the last few months, but not being obvious enough for me to pick up on them yet I guess. But that and some other general things about dreams through these last few months have been giving me a sense that something is progressing in a positive way.

- The topless and injured man may have simply been a figment brought about by a show I watched for the first time the previous night, but his presence really was completely out of place in that dream, there was nothing else to tie the two contexts together.

- I’m remembering now that in that part of the dream it was a bright morning daytime, though only a small bit of it came through into the living room, where I was.

- The WoW dream was typical for a game dream, I didn’t have the sense of sitting at a desk or anything, just completely existing in the game, even despite the use of third person camera. In a way this is not too different from how I feel when playing games I’m immersed in anyway; usually it just feels like an extension of self, more than anything else. But it does make me feel that I’m almost too used to the sense of altered reality, which is maybe why I normally don’t pick up on dream signs that when I’m awake I consider to be pretty obvious.

Non-dream stuff - Had a few non-lucids, mostly only remember the details for one sequence, since I didn't come to write on the journal straight away.

---

Fragment:
I was in a game and I fought two girls that were teamed up, over a wooden planks bridge or something like that; the landscape was pretty blocky in general as I remember it, and these girls had picked/were characters that were really strong together, due to the way their abilities synergised with each other. I mostly struggled to deal significant damage to them, as they recovered or blocked it and eventually I remember falling in a low pit and getting cornered and killed. I don't remember what kind of abilities or weapons I was using.

Dream:
I was in the same game, and with this dream I remember the format more clearly: it was a player-versus-player online game. It was night but very clear as there was a bright moon light, and many of us, the players, were on a rocky slope upward toward a castle. The castle had a gate, and it was going to open when the game began.

This time I had a power armour (Enclave-type) like from the Fallout series, and I remember I "pressed" esc and was looking at the armour's details on a menu. The menu was very plain, and was mostly just drop-down menus. The dominant colour was a cyan-ish blue, not unlike a fluoroscan.

I remember my eldest sibling being out of scene in the dream but commenting about the game and asking me what it was like. At this point, I do remember seeing the "screen" as I was pointing at something, but other than that, the entirety of the dream takes place "inside" the game. I replied something in conversation while still looking at the armour details, when I found some sliders and options I could adjust for abilities.

I noticed there was a little face icon with a number in front of it, 4300, my interpretation of which was that this was how many points I had left to spend (and some abilities took 100,1000,2000, etc). I noticed a regeneration ability that I really wanted to pick (tends to be a personal favourite in games) but then when I was looking for it again, I couldn't find it. I tweaked some other settings I don't recall, such as my max health ability but then the match was starting while I was still looking at the menu, and very quickly, someone else killed me.

Later I respawned or something, somewhere in the map, and I was trying to be sneaky through some dark areas, which remind me now of the Kuva Fortress in Warframe, and ended up running into a few different people; they didn't attack me immediately so I didn't attack them either, and one of them also had a power armour and she (a pretty faced black woman, I saw, as she didn't have the power helmet on) was asking me how I'd managed to configure certain abilities for the armour. She commented on the fact that I was killed at the start while looking at the menu and that whoever had done it was distasteful for doing so. I appreciated her comment.

I remember giving her some advice on the armour abilities, though I don't remember the details. She and a few others, a mix of young (teens?) boys and girls, were at the top landing of a small staircase, to which I walked up to as well; there was a doorway to the right, though I have a vague memory of what was through it; I can't remember it other than being a room with wooden floorboards.

---

• There was some other dream fragment I initially remembered, but ended up forgetting while remembering the big dream sequence.
• The two girls that killed me in the game in the first fragment had a cheeky playful attitude and sort of taunted me as they fought.
• The castle doesn't remind me of any particular place, but it had an Unreal Tournament feel to it.
• The transition from being inside the game, to being outside but playing and then back into being inside again was something rare, as that's not really happened before very much.
• The death while in the menu felt a bit too sudden/random; I don't remember hearing a projectile or a weapon firing, but it seemed like I got hit by a one-hit-kill explosion. And I thought the starting area would be safe until left.
• The black woman in power armour seemed to have some sort of strong motivation for being there that wasn't directly related to the game itself, she just had a sort of serious look on her face like she was looking for something in particular.
• I'm making note that while maybe it's not directly related, she was black and had a very meaningful interaction via conversation with me in the dream, and recently in my last DJ entry I've had a lot of black (but the actual colour) dream signs. Oddly enough, it is of some contrast to the last entry that the bit where we stood and talked was brightly lit by a single light from above, and I think the walls were a bright yellow, but it was otherwise dark. But generally speaking, this dream was not even half as dark as the one in my last entry anyway.

Non-dream stuff - woke up earlier than 10 a couple of times but got up at about 10:10. Was having a non-lucid but some details are missing.

---

Dream:
I remember that this was the start of a transition between two dreams, and I was walking to a gravel car park. It was day, and I had a backpack, full of stuff, whatever it was. Then in the car park were two of my old school friends. At first they didn't notice me because of the distance, but I hoped they would because they were walking away from the car park in my general direction but I also wanted to leave my backpack in their car.

As I approached, I remember I was struggling with walking; it felt like it took a long time to get to them and they had at least spotted me. They walked back a few paces with me to their car, which looked like the car my dad has in waking life. One of my friends opened the boot and I dumped my heavy black backpack in there, remembering I still had some lessons that day, so I took out a couple of my pencil cases, ones which in waking life I use to keep pens and pencils separately and that I've always used.

Then there was either a transition or it was implied we walked somewhere else.
We were in an old building, ruined. There were more people, and now this was some sort of game. Me and my two friends ran out of the building first and it looked like it was some sort of hunger games/battle royale thing, so the three of us had an advantage for getting out first and we went through areas of a ruined city. I remember seeing our health numbers, 64, 40 something and another. I spotted some monkeys or something and decided to make them friendly with us; my friend asked what the point was, and I explained that as the other people came by, the monkeys would attack them and weaken them, without putting us at risk.

Then the rest of the groups started arriving in a scattered manner. I grabbed a stone and watched each person cautiously. Many of them went by ignoring me, running and looking for things to use. I went past a girl with a dog, that initially was on a lead, and then the lead vanished. The girl went one direction down some steps and the dog went another direction, where I came from.

Then there was some sort of flat area lower from where I had been, and everyone was here now. In a way it was like people had a short field of vision, like they couldn't see how close I was, like how ridiculous stealth can be in some video games. I remember the stone I held was limestone square cobble; it had a very sharp edge. I slashed a girl on her naked back and prowled away; the girl became complaintative to the rest of the people something like "how am I going to win now?!" with some sort of moody attitude.

The slash I'd inflicted on her was quite deep along the spine, but in retrospect she didn't seem to struggle or feel too much pain about it. I remember as I prowled around the area that these people all looked like former classmates or were simply random dream characters. My two old friends, I couldn't spot anywhere.

Then I remember I cut two other people, on their shoulders and arms. Not as serious, more like scratches. I seem to remember either everyone was naked or something. I think this was inconsistent in the dream.

Then there was a group of 5 or 6 older adults, in their 40s, 50s, 60s. They stood straight and graciously at one end of this area and one, a white, large lady, barked some complaints she had about something. Another, a black man, disagreed with her and said something about mental illness, and the reality of it. The comments were all related to the "game".

---

Notes:

• In this dream sequence, my old school friends would probably have been the best cue for RCing. I have not seen or spoken to them in several years now.
• I think that to make the monkeys friendly with us I had given them something they could eat, though I can't remember what.
• Through the whole second part of the dream I was mostly calm but in that mode where one observes everything very carefully as if anyone could be a threat. It's a basic instinct feeling, which is not surprising given the dream's context.
• I'm not sure why I cut the others with less force than that first girl; I remember the cut on her spine looked a vivid red. I think I felt like perhaps I'd caused too much harm, even if I should be concerned about my own "survival". I could have just killed any of them, but I didn't, and I don't know why.
• I think the man at the end was making a point that conflict could make us mentally ill. That's how I felt about it, somehow.