• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cclxxxiii. Listening from the bathroom

      by , 06-11-2021 at 07:00 PM
      11th June 2021

      Some in-line notes, in brackets.

      Fragment:

      I'm in the bathroom at the old home. I'm having a wee or something, I think I'm fully naked (probably since I sleep that way and if I got up for the bathroom, it would be the case anyway). I notably recall that the light is on (but there is no reason for it not to be and the situation seems normal enough).

      I hear the front door opening and notably I hear T's voice and a male stranger. I deduce they are friends and hear them come into the house. I'm aware of it being quite late and so I find it a bit odd. I can sort of see through the wall, mentally, getting an idea of where they are. T either comes up to the bathroom door to talk to me or I called. We talk about something but I cannot remember what and I feel pressed to put some clothes on to get out of the bathroom, maybe to find out more?

      The feeling I have around the stranger is mostly that of suspicion, I think because of the late time. I think about going back to my bedroom and possibly imagine it visually.
    2. cclxxvii. Not properly washed, Night in my hometown

      by , 05-31-2021 at 10:19 PM
      31st May 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm at a distorted version of the old home. The house is partly blended with a supermarket freezer aisle and a classroom, I think this is at the end of a dream segment that took place in a supermarket-like location. I'm nude in the bathroom and washing my hands. From a long distance away, I see JC (through a mirror?) jeering at me, saying I spend a lot of time washing my hands but that I still manage to do it so poorly. I find this comment hurtful because R (the tall one with the short curly hair) is next to me and agreeing with JC. I dry my hands, kind of poorly because of the towel, not taking away all the moisture.

      I leave the bathroom and I'm in the corridor, it's more like the rest of how the house should be now. There's something about ice creams, some Magnums. There are two on the floor of the corridor against a skirting board, seems like someone is keeping them here to save them for later. I think about how they won't keep very well here. On closer look they're not wrapped anymore, and their outer chocolate shells are cracked. I try and fiddle but only make it worse. I leave them be and go to my room, which would actually be L's room.

      Fragment:

      (earlier dream) I'm in my home town, like I've just returned after years. It's night time and I just left the house for some reason (emotional?) and I walk down to the shopping centre area. The path is more direct than it would be in waking life, the road goes right through where the parish church should be.

      At the front of the shopping centre, it's really well lit but mostly by phosphor street lights. I see some groups of people just idling about, chatting. A lot of them, I notice are people I knew from school, though some of them are black kids that used to make fun of me (M, R, are ones I remember). Unusually, I feel apprehensive over this, I think because there's so many people but I walk past them without being bothered, though I think people stare at me? This is the bit right in front of the bank, between the small substation building, said building is replaced in the dream by a ramp going underground (coming from the main road, the roundabout?).

      I turn left since it's the corner. This bit that should be road and car parking spots is all limestone cobbled path. I see MM and I walk past I say hello and wave at him, almost in his face, but he doesn't hear or see me, doesn't acknowledge me. He's coming out through some glass sliding doors. I don't look inside but there's a bright cool light in there. Makes me think or feel of an airport.

      I keep walking towards the open end of that underground ramp. Now I see D. I say hello to him too and he greets me back, we start talking. I ask him if he saw MM over there and he did, commenting something about him. We go down into the ramp, there's a sort of seamless transition and we're in a subway station. It's vast, more than almost any I can recall in waking life but it is like others I've dreamed of. It is well lit and there is a lot of concrete and some metal accents.

      There's a fair amount of people around? I get the impression it's quite late but I don't know or see the time at any point. I talk with D all the way as we walk, but sadly I can't recall what about.



      Notes:

      - I dreamed of D only recently. In the past when I've dreamed of him or the other D, it has usually been linked with personal relationship in some sense. Both D and MM were two of my only true childhood friends, but at the same time, I ended up eventually feeling abandoned and disconnected from both too. Besides from relationships and from family, I don't think I ever felt friendship like theirs again, at least so far anyway, though at several points I have hoped that people I have met would become friends like they had been.

      - In the dream it was as though MM was seeing past me, like he was aware of my presence but not acknowledging me. I remember he was standing still as I walked past whilst greeting him, expecting he would say something, at which point I would have stopped.

      - The point at which I felt apprehensive about continuing on past the groups in front of the shopping centre was mostly a form of social anxiety that I haven't really had too much of in my adult life. On some level, I was afraid of being mocked. The other dream fragment also relates to some aspect of this.

      - For the past few nights I keep trying to think about dreaming, lucidity and even previous dreams, but my mind always ends up drifting off and before I know it, it's morning. But I manage to recall most of my thoughts and moments prior to falling asleep fairly well.
    3. cclii. Non-lucid lucidity and simulated abilities, Family trips, Swamp freight

      by , 04-16-2021 at 10:00 AM
      16th April 2021

      Dream:

      I am in someone else's lucid dream. It's someone I used to know, maybe L's friend, J? Not quite, but there's another friend too. It looks a bit like a small church, lots of dark stain wood. I think there's a greater proportion of wood than there is stone, I seem to recall.

      Anyway, since I'm not actually lucid myself, I think about testing a theory. I think of asking my friend to give me moderator privileges as if this was a Minecraft server. But I am unable to catch up to ask him, as he moves around. So I end up trying commands by myself, like the teleport-jump to where I'm looking. The commands sort of work. Although I am unsure of how to even do this, somehow, I intuitively bind the commands to my mind or something, so no typing is required.

      But I'm not lucid and yet I am reminded by all of this about a technique I read here on DV a couple of days ago. Before I try a teleport-jump or a through command, I spend a couple of seconds visualising the result a bit, but really it's too faint. It does help my non-lucid self use these commands though.

      I remember this part of the dream was highly detailed but I can't recall any further about it now. Transition?

      I'm in a restaurant with my family. We're leaving soon? The place seems to be mixed with old home or something. But I need to go to the bathroom. It doesn't seem especially clean in here. I try the stall, as I have privacy concerns and as I'm about to pull my pants down, I realise that there's no toilet at all in the stall, just a tiny plastic bin. Outside the stall, in the bathroom, there are only wall urinals. I exit the stall and entering the bathroom is a black woman, she has curly hair, a somewhat round but well defined face, she's about my height and probably a similar age.

      I tell her I wouldn't bother with the bathroom at all, and just wait until home. She seems disappointed by this. I walk out of the bathroom.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm at my old home, but think to myself that I'm not actually there or something. (pre-lucid thought about real location?) There's just some feeling, anyway.

      Me and the rest of the family are getting ready for something? It's early morning I think. Mom says dad needs some apples and I tell her I can go get them (since I feel ready anyway) and I shout for dad, asking what kind he wants. I don't remember hearing a reply back. Eventually I think about just teleporting to outside the store below. But something stops me and it just doesn't work. I remember being in my old room and seeing outside, standing from the doorway to the room. Light seems consistent with early-ish morning.

      Some other sequence. I'm in some place in South America. Swamps or marshes. A flatbed ship carrying containers is on the water but there are some buildings around, sort of in an Arabic style more than a local one. I try to get on board the ship and then look for some circuit board chips? Some interactions with someone else, possibly an old friend.

      Another bit, possibly the earliest sequence in the dream. A visual and physical representation of the old art website? Very vague recall of this bit. Looks sort of like a disco club, with certain elements like the web banner physically represented as a room backdrop. Someone talks to me about the computing efficiency of the VFXs being used. Vague recall of thoughts about how much I charge for commissions, feeling like it's not enough.



      Notes:
      - I was not actually "lucid" at any point throughout this dream. My dream self was somehow partly aware of this by the implied context of the dream and with the commands thing tried to devise a way of having abilities more akin to what's possible when actually lucid.

      - There are a few things here that challenge recent conscious thoughts, namely; my commission prices, my initial thoughts about the technique linked in the entry and some recent thoughts on shared dreaming. Basically the dream presented opposites for all of these things, I don't think necessarily for me to accept them but to generally think about them further.

      - Using the commands to have lucid-like abilities in the dream felt like a pretty clever idea at the time, especially since it partially worked.

      - Curiously, the church location may have been brought on by the fact that I have spent a fair bit of time with H both in real churches and in church-like buildings he's built in Minecraft.
    4. cci. Future rave/bar, Vulgar friends

      by , 12-26-2020 at 01:38 PM
      22nd December 2020

      Woken abruptly and also got up late; last bits of recall are overlapping.

      Fragmented:

      I see or am at some sort of small rave party thing. Part of trying to find someone, not sure who or why. There was a nervous woman with me/the protagonist. She had doubts about what we were doing.

      The rooms are lush and beautiful, out of a mix of Warcraft, Farscape, Star Trek and maybe Valerian. I recall a bed covered by a blue quilt, the bed's frame is painted gold and looks like the paint itself gives it texture. Cobalt and gold colours in general here? There are fancy uplighters, diamond shape shades?

      A woman is laying on this bed, but sort of sitting up (as one might when reading a book) and it looked like she was getting wise to what's going on, whatever that is, but the dream implies it to be somewhat insidious somehow. I/the protagonist was taller than the companion. (as I recall this, intuition tells me that this dream is pulling on the lack of fun/personal time of the recent weeks)

      There was a second earlier rave place, a bit bigger and in the same style of decoration and architecture, but more bar-like and open-plan.

      Earlier, something about JC or another part where a special keyboard has built-in controls for a specific program or game. I had to cut into it like insulation or foam but using my fingers, because something was wrong with this keyboard.

      Even earlier or in-between. Something about a group of friends. I interact with them. There was a girl a bit younger than me; she kept wanting my attention but also initially she didn't like me at all or rejected me in some sense. In the dream I was of a somewhat overly stiff attitude; I remember reading or being told by this group about some personal things and self-pleasuring was mentioned, I felt unusually uneasy about this. My dream self was more like a character than usual.

      This girl eventually became my friend, but she was quite vulgar.

      Fragmented:

      A vivid and real-like dream where I had showered or something. My armpit muscles seemed unusual and H is naked. Something about deodorant? We were in our bathroom. The details were accurate.

      Fragment:

      Drawing an alien drone but the head shape was very modified compared to the original design.
    5. xlii.

      by , 09-26-2018 at 11:57 AM
      Non-dream stuff - had a couple of non-lucid dreams I remember in some detail. Chronological order slightly forgotten.



      Dream fragment:
      I was playing some sort of space game, I could see in third-person view the ship I was controlling. Though I distinctly remember being "in" the game, I know my partner was watching me play, and I was in a system that had 3 jump gates to other stars; the jumpgates looked a bit Stargate-like, but two were coloured red and one was green. I wanted to go in one of the red ones. The system was very dark, there was a red giant star at its centre and when I arrived at the gates (that for some reason were clustered together) there were 2 ships, which were part of local military.

      I remember using the jumpgate, though I don't remember the transition special effects, and when I got to the next system, it felt like it was a bit more dangerous. Visually it was confusing, I was struggling with the controls all of a sudden and the field of view adjustment kept changing for no reason. There was a blue giant star, and a regular yellow star; I remember some nebulae, blue, too, but there was something odd about the "skybox"* for the system.

      In my controls struggle I accidentally started warping, backwards, somehow. The warp got faster and faster and I could see a "ul" units measurement at the bottom of the interface, going up quickly from 0.x to ~700. I managed to stop it and was now in a different system. I remember commenting to myself "oh, I forgot that worked that way", regarding the system travelling feature of the warp. It reminds me now of the warp mechanic in Eliteangerous.

      Then I used it again and went forwards this time but steering at the same time, but when I warped out, I was in a planet with my ship, in the middle of a mega city, so I had to quickly try and maneuver up through openings I could see.

      I remember getting past the atmosphere though I don't remember what happened next.

      Dream sequence:
      On a plane, with my partner. I don't think I was too happy about it; but we were landing, and we were landing in a street somewhere in France. This was the planned destination and the landing worked and stopped more than few hundred feet away from the nearest building.

      We got out and I think we went to a flat somewhere, I think it was my aunt's and I remember some sort of interaction with my aunt before the dream started. But all I remember from the flat was that it was like our real kitchen and there was a bathroom. The bathroom was filthy, there was trimmed hair everywhere; there was a slight yellow tinge on things, not from urine or anything, as far as I can gather. There were no strong smells. But it felt filthy. I was trying to clean the toilet's rim with some paper, for some reason, and it was taking very long.

      There was a transition and the next thing I remember is being at a supermarket in the same city, and I'm picking up what looks like a sweetener capsule dispenser thing, but instead, they have pictures of great monuments on them. I pick one that has a Great Pyramid, and I remember thinking or commenting to someone near me, "with this we can build our own pyramid... seems it takes about 3.8 acres of land, so we just need to get some 4 acres of land somewhere".

      I walk to one of those self-checkout things, only carrying this little thing, and I scan it but I'm a little confused as to how things work and take a little while to understand where to place it; then I do, and I'm about to pay, but this other French guy about my age or younger starts using the same machine as I'm using, and I speak to him in English saying "excuse me, could you help me pay?" and he doesn't even look at me, which I feel to be rude. In the dream I have the distinct feeling they ignored English on purpose. I somehow manage to pay with my card, which I took out of my wallet blindly, but confirmed to be the card I wanted by the 4 last numbers, which were accurate to waking life as I remember.

      I leave the shop and go down some street. Of note, I go past a man painting some sort of tall vertical canvases, in his own shop, but do not talk or engage with him. Down this street I am looking for a suitable land for this pyramid I want to build. I find some plaza and some ruins, and in the dream I think that because there are some Aztec-looking ruins I could just use them as a base for the pyramid... It's a micro steppe pyramid in its own right, this ruin, and I remember a hole that would be the stairwell. It is exceedingly dark in here, but I can see somehow. There is a different hole next to a wall, big enough for any grown man to slide in, but I do not satisfy my curiosity and walk away instead. Something felt odd but that wall opening, like it would go down forever.

      I remember going up some street and then seeing some big building with a hand-painted sign that said:
      "2 any artist;
      60(something) (something);
      214 accomplished artist"
      or something to this effect. I got annoyed reading the sign. The numbers were value/money, and I felt that it was unfair to unknown artists. I commented something out aloud and realise that I'm standing next to the shop with that man from before, with the tall cyllinders that he painted. He said to me "unfortunately that's how it works; you can see how much work I have here - because it is exotic and unusual, I am not considered to be good or accomplished" or something like this. His shop was literally cluttered with all of his artistic work, some of it looked quite nice, some of it was indeed a bit unusual.

      There was another dream after this but I've forgotten most of the details, apart from a teen boy being naked and antagonising me, who I punched in the face, though he didn't back down and just kept being annoying. There was a little girl but she seemed sad, she had a little pink dress.



      Notes:
      • *The skybox is traditionally a scaled up 3D element that keeps the exact same position as the player and makes up the far-distance objects that can be represented either with 2D sprites or low resolution 3D models.
      • The comments of the other artist reflect partly the basic feel I have about art's value in general.
      • My partner was present at some points in the second dream but I don't remember the interactions between us.
      • I have been to France only once, when I was a kid, and had the possibility of going again when I was around 16, but didn't.
      • In the dream I just couldn't understand why at the supermarket the guy was rude to me. I was being polite and asking for help to get out of his way. But it later occurred to me in the dream that if I'd used my native language instead he wouldn't have been so rude, so it felt like it was a French/English animosity thing.
      • I don't know where the 3.8 acres figure came from (it seems very specific but for no reason) in the dream for the Great Pyramid's base area; but checking quickly has revealed to me that the Pyramid's base is about 13 acres, about 3.25 times my 4 acres land estimate in the dream. I do not have any intuitive understanding of the actual area taken by an acre in waking life, so if there was any accuracy at all, it would have been a surprise.