• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 19/07/2020

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I want the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cxxxiv.

      by , 08-10-2020 at 01:02 PM
      21st June 2020

      Fragment:

      My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

      I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

      Fragment:

      Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

      Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

      Fragment:

      In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?



      Notes:
      - The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
      - At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.
    2. cxxi.

      by , 07-21-2020 at 01:28 PM
      11th May

      Dream:Earliest dream. I was in some place in the countryside, the dream was very vivid. I had my boots on, some pants, some t-shirt and my leather jacket. H was walking with me, I remember feeling the gravel beneath my feet.

      In the dream I was recognising the place. I'd been here before in some other dream. This prompted me to tell H about it and he sort of dismissed it and even though I tried doing some reality checks with my hands, I didn't become aware of the dream state.

      In my dream mind, this place wasn't exactly like how I remembered it from the other dream anyway. There was a gravel road and some buildings and some gravel plots along it, but the original place I was remembering had a normal road and it carried on, it didn't end abruptly like this gravel road. It reminded me of the southern areas of my country. There were pine trees and short grass that looked a bit dry. The dirt was fine and dusty and caramel coloured. The sky was a little bit cloudy but mostly clear and it seemed like the sun was setting. I remember looking all around me to try and identify anything from the original dream, but I felt there was nothing. The surroundings looked vast and vague at the same time.

      After walking along the road with H for a while, we eventually came to a very large gravel lot, like a parking lot, clearly meant for that use. I remember H telling me to wait here. He had to get some book, or something, from town? I said I'd wait. I didn't know what I'd do in the meantime and I had the feeling that it would be a long time. Then my awareness transitioned to some other place.

      A dream city. H wasn't here and though I have forgotten the dream plot exactly, there was something about a family that had to get to where I just was (the gravel/pine tree area). I was here to speed things along somehow? Something about a gang going after this family.

      Then details are missing; I remember getting into a car, a silver convertible and also trying to fix down a panel on the boot or something. Then the mom of this family, who was driving, started the car before I'd even sat down and put a seatbelt on. She raced through the streets and I had little balance, tipping backwards and holding the open and swaying door with my right hand. I was partially sat on her son's legs, eventually he managed to help me in, but it took a while.

      Some other part of the same dream. The chronology of the sequences is muddled. I went into a tall building and I remember carrying my black backpack and climbing lots of stairs. I didn't feel tired at all and my legs didn't hurt. Along the way, some young adult (early 20s) tugged on my backpack to have an easier time climbing. I resent that he'd done that but I said nothing and only gave him a look that made it clear to him not to do it again.

      The staircase was very much like the one from my university. Very narrow, but no lift at each landing. Eventually I got to a pretty high floor, and it looked like my virtual gallery in some sense. There was a high open space that my fear of heights creep in a little, because there were no railings at all. I remember wondering what H would think of that.

      Just behind the stairwell I'd come from, was a platform/floor and I climbed over its ledge without too much effort. It led down a dark unlit and narrow corridor. At the end of it was another stairwell, to my left. It went both up and down. There was a door directly in front of me. A white service door to my right after a short and narrow yard-long hall. Light came through the edges of this white service door and the stairs going up also allowed some natural light in from above, but not much, as it was still very dark in here.

      On the stairs, a bunch of young adults (early 20s again) were sat on the steps. They looked at me, but more like through me. I looked back for a moment, but then ignored them. I tried opening the door in front of me but it was well shut and locked. I went back through the narrow corridor I'd come from and then skipped over the gap with the stairs and took a left turn. My mind blocked out the open space with no railings.

      There were corridors and rooms this way. Many contrasts of dark and narrow halls with natural light from some windows. The floor was carpeted, not sure what colour, but I remember a cleaning lady. It just looked like a hotel in many regards but the rooms belonged to specific people who worked here or something, like an office area in a university. I can't recall the rest of the dream.



      Notes:
      - In many ways, the last part of the dream was just some mish-mash of my first university's building and my general concepts of offices and temporary living spaces. The presence of the people in their early 20s ties in with the "university" feel.
      - It can feel a bit annoying to ask H about the reality and have him only make me dismiss what I'm thinking about, though since then I have tried to imagine the situation occurring differently.
      - My leather jacket seems to have been a recurring feature for some recent dreams but I haven't found any particular reason why just yet, since I have not worn it in a long time. The only thing that comes to mind is that feels like a bit of a shame that I just let it sit unused for quite a long time, but on the other hand it is usually too hot for me to wear it.
      - Dreams where physical activity occurs are always refreshing for me in some mental sense. Being able to do intense physical activity such as climbing many flights of stairs can feel rewarding and the amount of inordinate pain I would get from doing it in real-life makes it feel like a waste of my energy and time. In dreams my low thresholds of pain don't really materialise and it is often the only time I get a break from feeling pain and discomfort throughout a day.
    3. cxviii.

      by , 07-20-2020 at 10:19 AM
      8th May

      Dream:

      I was in the car with H. H was driving very fast and race-like, even though we weren't in a rush to get anywhere. Pretty close one between a double length bus and a car. I remember the tyres screeching a lot all the way and I asked H why. He said it was because they brand new Michelin tyres.

      It was like my native country and town. Eventually we arrived at a place, ground floor of a building, in front of it was like a petrol station. The place we walked into was like a school, for kids between the ages of eight and ten. H and I had been here earlier in the dream to drop off a keyboard temporarily. Now, we were here to pick it up again. I think the kids were actually teens in the earlier part of the dream. One of the kids now, was asking why we had to take the keyboard away again and H explained it had only been meant as a temporary thing anyway. H asked if anyone had played the keyboard. Some kids said they hadn't, somehow clearly afraid of being reprimanded, even though it was unlikely, but they also said they had practised at home like H had taught and demonstrated.

      I didn't speak much at all, H talked to the kids a lot. Somehow reminded me of my geometry teacher, trying to actively get the kids to think and take interest in things. Eventually, a lady walked in, the teacher who runs the place. She was happy to see the kids entertained and it was as if we'd known her and vice versa for years. I remember noticing I had my black leather jacket and my regular boots on. I think in the dream we both became distracted from our objective of getting the keyboard. There was also a set of keys we'd left in the earlier visit, but we weren't being able to find them. The layout was different from the earlier visit.

      Scraps:

      Grandma from mom's side, dad and I, talking. I remember she was holding a golden cross that she wore around her neck. I made mental note of the size of the cross, almost too big to be held by one hand alone.



      Notes:
      - I don't believe H has actually ever bought Michelin-branded tyres.
    4. cxv.

      by , 04-20-2020 at 11:42 AM
      Mostly just one long dream and a small disjointed fragment from an early awakening.



      Dream Fragment:


      Something about a physical vault for porn; it was a gazebo-like building in the middle of a tiny island surrounded by a lot of water, but there were some nearby cliffs. I remember seeing it from there. H was in the dream and I remember feeling aroused from some of the images. I was sorting them, like they were in a computer file system. I wanted to finish what I was doing and spend some time together with H after I was done.

      Dream:

      Me and H were in the car. We were somewhere in Northern Ireland, we'd gotten there by boat but I don't have a dream memory of the boat trip. We drove through a few small villages. I remember someone telling me or talking about the weather, about how this little village here was always damp, wet, and cold. There were some very curvy roads, surrounded by nice and scenic woodland. Along the way two old men were just waddling about the literal middle of the road and I told H to slow down and be careful, since I was afraid we might hit someone like them. H didn't seem too bothered but slowed a bit.

      We went up some hills, eventually we arrived somewhere. We came here for an appointment apparently. Initially in the dream I was confused, because I didn't remember having any appointments coming up soon, but it was for H actually. I remember being at the lobby/desk and "checking in", I was asked for a name and gave mine, and I remember looking away at a clock on a wall and saying it was a 12:30 appointment. The man said something but I don't remember what, but everything was OK anyway.

      Then I went into a bathroom. It didn't have lights? But it had some natural light, but it was still dim. I don't remember what I was wearing up to this point, but now I was changing clothes, getting dressed as if going to bed. I had no pants on or anything but my top was the same one I actually slept with. The dark green one, which is long enough that it covered my private areas, so I just walked out of the bathroom not caring too much about it, walking more or less straight ahead, as I could see H sitting on a chair in a room, through a door. Understandably I did get some strange looks and glances from the nurses/staff as I walked towards that room.

      I walked into the room and expected the therapist would close the door. She didn't, but then it closed itself, or I did it. The room was small and plain with a typical office-like look, but it only had two walls, the one with the door, and the one behind where me and H were sitting. There was no ceiling and beyond the two missing wall sections was a green area, and some kind of stadium? I remember waiting for the therapist to say something. At this point, I was still in some dream-confusion about whether this appointment was for myself or H. But then H spoke and I encouraged it too, so they'd talk about some anxiety stuff. This part of the dream recall is a bit vague for some reason but some people across the way interrupted the therapist somehow; they shouted, calling for attention or notifying her of something?

      She seemed embarrassed and also unsure of herself. I remember she looked a bit like H's sister, but was naturally blonde and had at least twenty or more years on us. A bit out of nowhere, her superior showed up, a tall man in a suit, juxtaposing with her naturally small stature. He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting way and told her something, but they were too far for me to hear.

      At some point through all of that I remember noticing my bare left knee. Before sleeping, the past night, my knee had been having burning sensations and hypersensitivity. When I looked at my knee now in the dream, I could see a circle of strange bumps, with somewhat concentric lines of more bumps on the inside of that circle.

      There's a transition of some kind. All of a sudden we're elsewhere, home maybe? I tell H I can't remember how we got here. I tell H that I have no recall of a trip back here and I feel confused, but do not remember to question reality.

      The next thing I remember is we're in a mine of some kind. Dark, poorly lit, but the lights are a warm colour. Details are missing. At some point, I see a grenade on the floor, over a grate of some kind. Oddly enough, I'm unafraid of the grate despite realising there's a bottomless pit under it, and I see the grenade still has its safety pin. I grab it and inspect it. I remember H talking to me and me to H as I was doing this. On the grenade, with the bad lighting, I try to read for instructions; although I have a general idea of how it should work, this grenade seemed very small, I could make a fully closed fist around it. The only writing I could see on it was a lot number of some kind. It was difficult to read because of the light and the fact that it was just sort of embossed into the surface, there was no contrasting pigment. It read "l624" or something.

      Disappointed by the lack of instructions, I threw it gently over onto a nearby tunnel that was lit by a lamp. I didn't want to hold on to it if I couldn't be sure how it worked. But then I detonated it or something, but while there was a big blast, there wasn't much light or noise. Virtually no damage occurred either.

      Then I remember walking up a slope in the mine with H, and as we were about to exit the mine (which in the context of the dream was like our hideout) for some reason, a woman about our age showed up. She just walked in but was not hostile to us. A small-ish bear and a wolf of the same size followed her. She had semi-blonde and very curly hair. We both spoke to her and the animals went into the mine to sleep; H stayed speaking to her and I followed the animals, finding them asleep. I gently woke the wolf up and he growled at me, I was unafraid and let him feel that I was happy he was interacting with me. I let him sniff my hand and then he seemed to like me. Then I got some notifications on some interface overlay that the girl favourited some things I'd posted? It didn't make much sense. But now she like me and H more.

      The last bit of the dream is kind of gone from memory now, but it involved some refugees she was helping and that we were then helping too.


      Might edit in some notes later but a bit tired of typing.

      Updated 06-25-2020 at 11:18 AM by 95293

      Categories
      dream fragment , side notes , non-lucid
    5. cxiii.

      by , 04-15-2020 at 12:25 PM
      I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

      Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.



      Dream Fragment:

      H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

      Dream Fragment:

      Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

      I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

      Dream Fragment:

      This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

      In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

      Dream Fragment:


      Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

      The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

      I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.



      Notes:
      - I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
      - In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.
    6. cxii.

      by , 04-12-2020 at 05:29 PM
      Some dream fragments. Initially had better recall but didn't manage to type as much as I wanted in my initial notes and so recall just faded for the most part. Some pre-sleep journaling too because I haven't really done that a lot.

      Although I have had recall of dreams from all the previous nights since my last DJ entry, I haven't been making notes in the morning for the most part. H's alarm can be distracting and causes me to lose details sometimes, which puts me off from trying to write, besides all the other usual issues.



      Pre-sleep:

      Some stray thoughts about something lead me to loosely focusing thoughts on memories from my childhood, primarily from the ages between three and five. Somewhat vivid memory of the balcony, but details missing and wrong. I hoped my focus on these memories would perhaps carry on into dreaming and allow me to explore the memories a bit better. Some recall of trying to place myself in the height I would have been, meaning a different point of view from the lower glass panes rather than the higher ones. I remember having other conscious thoughts about the memories but I have forgotten the specifics now.

      Dream Fragment:


      Was having a discussion with a girl about my age, we were talking about buck/boost transformers and how they saved power or something. I was doing a poor job of explaining and getting to the point I wanted to make and so she started to think I was trying to make some sort of sales point without evidence. I was at some kind of hotel? Initially I was speaking to her from a hallway that had these sliding doors to the outside; she was out on a courtyard of some kind, under a summer/pool tent of sorts.

      I'd met her at a fairly high floor in the building, 30 something? I had been going up through the floors using stairwells with my family up to this point, but I think they just continued on without me. I think near the end the girl's form shifted between herself and some male dream character.

      Before I got to the hotel, I remember travelling with my family through some highway, dad was driving. At some point we weren't in the car anymore but sort of still on the road. I remember my parents asking T if he should put an extra layer/top on. L made some comment? We were on the start of a mountain path or something. We were apparently going some place cold, I remember a dull grey day, misty. Reminds me now of some real beach or coastal area I've visited in waking reality many years ago with my family.

      Dream Fragment:

      Called an aunt. Brief conversation, remember noting it took no more than five or six minutes. Vague visual recall of orange phone screen?



      Notes:

      - The orange phone screen was most likely a detail of a home phone; either the one we have now or the one from my parents' house.
      - The highways in the dream remind me of the ones from Fallout, possibly because of playing it recently.
      - Not entirely sure what brought on the context of discussing electronics but possibly just a more obvious intrusion of information consolidation processes; my apparent ignorance on the subject in the dream perhaps being caused by the fact I rarely discuss the specific topic in question.
    7. cii.

      by , 03-23-2020 at 02:23 AM
      A few fragments but I remembered some more detail as I read and rewrote my notes from the morning.


      Dream:

      In the old version of the square in my home town. It’s altered compared to my actual memory of it however. It was a bigger area somehow; this may relate to the fact that my memories of this version only exist from my childhood as it changed pretty early on in my life. But the dream takes place in a present time.

      I have abilities from Diablo 2, more specifically Sorceress and Amazon abilities. I remember an interface overlay like in the game where I could pick the spells from.

      Noteably I remember the explosive arrow and glacial spike abilities, but on closer inspection the glacial spike was actually called frostga.

      I was shooting a bow with explosive arrows at these two guys that were just running around a bit aimlessly I think. They just wouldn’t die though and I kept running out of mana, for some reason glacial spike used a lot but explosive arrows didn’t (some uniques in the game granted it as a passive modifier, derived from that?).

      Dream Fragment:

      I remember there were transitions but the main place in the dream was this Egypt themed zone like a level from Unreal Tournament. It was night time and the zone in itself was more like a floating platform high up I. The sky. It had the shape of a circle but extended out of itself into “knots” on four corners?

      Despite being night time it was fairly bright, moonlit mostly. But there were glitches with the lighting, like the level wasn’t finished properly, so some objects and areas were just far too bright like the gamma was wrong just for those bits but I accepted this as something that does happen.

      Dream:

      Was with mom and dad in the car, we were downtown but everything looked so different, more like a post modern and brand new style than what I think I would have expected, which would be old buildings.

      Dad was commenting on how empty the entire area was. I don’t remember commenting myself. Nothing felt surprising or unusual in the dream. We went past some museums, one had written in big block capitals at its entrance: PAPU or something of the sort. As we went past it, I saw an ascending escalator inside the museum through some large and curved glass panes. I had a deja vu in the dream when I saw this.

      We went a bit further along and I remember having thoughts about how this area was supposed to be for modern cars only or that it had been pedestrianised. We arrived near the square next to the river but it all seemed pedestrianised and like we weren’t supposed to be in the car here but dad didn’t realise.

      A blonde or fake blonde and sort of nearly pale white lady walked up to us and then we weren’t in the car anymore but I thought nothing of it. She told dad that he couldn’t drive here, only “on the basement level” (to park?). There was a platform with road on it that was a lift that went underground just a bit ahead; I think I saw this before the lady was there, but I remember interacting with some console which had a blue GUI with options displayed. The last and only option I remember said something like “1950s (1980)”.
    8. xciv.

      by , 03-05-2020 at 11:40 AM
      Yesterday was quite a busy day so even though I'd made notes on waking, didn't get a chance to write the dreams on the DJ here. There's a fragment from today too.

      Last night I tried to incubate a dream about a painting I have on my easel at the moment. I want to figure out how to do these clouds like another painting I've seen very recently.

      Unfortunately every time I was in the process of visualising the dream and setting intentions to become lucid etc., my thoughts would start drifting away in a random direction and it would take me a little while before I realised this was happening each time. In the end I guess I just fell asleep, but had no dream that I can recall relating to this incubation.

      Either way, may continue to try and incubate this specific dream over the next few nights. If nothing else, it'll get me thinking about the painting.


      Dream Fragment, one day ago:

      My sibling T, driving. I'm in the car too, but on the back seat? It's dad's car I think, or something like it. Countryside roads and hilly landscape. The sky is a bit grey, but it's daytime. Looked more like here than there (old home).

      Someone else is in the car with us, not sure who, but they're of small stature. Female? Makes a comment on how good T's hair is looking. I think to myself, or perhaps even comment out loud about how much better the hair does seem versus the last few years.

      Scrap, one day ago:

      Fighting/shooting in a game. A mix of Unreal Tournament and a tank game I've played more recently.

      Dream Fragment, today:

      I was playing or in World of Warcraft. I was playing a female gnome rogue and was in the Wetlands, I remember the grungy and practically wet atmosphere quite well. I saw another gnome player, but they were a Horde character somehow. I noticed they'd spotted me so I used stealth and waited for them to come past.

      I opened with a stun from stealth and then after the stun I tried to manage my energy so that I'd be able to interrupt any spells as they'd start casting. The enemy gnome was a mix of a warlock and a mage? I seem to remember winning the fight but it felt like it took a very long time.


      No notes.
    9. xcii.

      by , 03-01-2020 at 11:42 AM
      Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall.



      Dream Fragment:


      I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car.

      We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car.

      I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side.

      At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall.

      Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something.

      Dream Fragment:


      Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however.

      I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago.

      He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?].

      I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply.

      Dream Fragment:


      There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind.


      Notes:

      - In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern.
      - In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least.
      - Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here.
      - I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.
    10. lxxxii.

      by , 02-11-2020 at 12:40 PM
      Just a dream fragment. Recall was a bit poor this past night and the night before, maybe because I've been a bit restless.


      Dream Fragment:

      I'm at an alternate version of the big square in my old home town. An older version of it, I think? I got in a car with one of my aunts (B). It was dark. We drove somewhere underground, where it was also particularly dark but there were a few lights here and there at foot level or something. There was a green hue to everything.

      The underground area was like a tunnel at first, a bit like some of the subway tunnels in the town. But then it became narrower and more like a sewer of some kind.

      Then I remember being on foot on my own. There were narrow concrete straits over darkness below. There was green-ish looking water coming out of cylindrical openings in some of the concrete walls.



      Notes:

      - Although I didn't realise it on waking up or during the dream, it made sense that the underground area resembled the subway tunnels, because under that square in waking life is where the station is.
      - I remember having some conversation with my aunt, but can't even remember what about.
    11. lxxv.

      by , 02-02-2020 at 01:46 PM
      Kind of a single long dream, but some bits are missing.


      Dream:

      The first part of the dream I can remember was at a somewhat accurate layout of the cul-de-sac in front of my old home. I was sitting in the driver seat of a car, which I think was my dad's car, as some of the interior felt familiar. But I had the window fully down and was sort of resting my arms against it and looking out. It was a sunny day, probably past 3PM but not sure what season. First half of the year, I think.

      Where my building door was supposed to be was actually this entrance into some sort of church, but not a church, as there was a machine there like a manually operated computer, and there was a group of people running it. I think I had been in there previously in the dream, or I just "saw" this somehow. But then there was an oddity about this machine, it could be switched off by literally anyone who walked past it, as there was a button labelled "STOP" and another "EMERGENCY STOP". They both did the exact same thing. I think I remember I had asked someone why, and they couldn't explain it to me.

      Then, while I'm in the car, some black guys show up. I realise better what position the car was in, sort of blocking in the entrance of the cul-de-sac a bit. These guys smile at me, I smile back, but I immediately know that they are there for something. They sort of huddle up around one side of the car, sort of hiding from view from where the machine place was. They look at me worried and I say nothing, quietly watching with some amusement, I'm curious what they have planned.

      This one guy stops trying to hide and just walks straight up to the place. I can see that he hits that stop button out of amusement for himself and the people running the machine get annoyed and make audible grunts, but seemingly don't even pay attention to the guy. I don't remember what else he did in there, but he comes back near the car and he has this piece of jewellery, I can't remember exactly what, but somehow I immediately know it's sort of stolen or something.

      Then a different guy gets up and goes in and a bit later comes out with something similar. I think this happens a couple more times and I remember the last piece of jewellery, a silver necklace. It reminds me of a necklace H has, but only the chain was similar.

      I remember getting into some small talk with the guys and then saying I had to go. I think I drive away and they disband, but I don't remember how it transitions into the next part exactly. But I remember my thoughts stayed on the "stolen items" for a bit.

      Then I'm walking down an unknown dream park with two people. One of them is H's sister (A), but I'm not sure who the other person is, some guy, around my age, but a friend of mine, not A's friend.

      It's night time and there is plenty of green vegetation and everything's slightly wet. Sprinklers had been on, as it isn't raining and I don't get the impression it had been. There are paths through this hilly park and the path we're on takes sort of long curves around some well mowed lawn-like fields, well lit by strong cool lights.

      As we're walking this path on the left-hand side there's a hedge going all the way along the curve and on the right-hand side there's this man on a short two-sided ladder. I don't look up to see what he's doing, but all of a sudden sparks and arcs of electricity go everywhere. Somehow I'm not surprised or worried, and neither is anyone else. Moments after I'd walked past, I pause, looking back. A is sort of looking closely at the ladder and some cables, which I somehow think of as being a bit foolish considering the electricity, so I think I motion for her to carry on.

      We arrive somewhere and there's some kind of transition. I lose any awareness of A and the mystery friend.

      I'm now at a place that closely resembles my high school, or college. But the lights are sort of dim and moody. It was still night outside. All of a sudden I find myself in the middle of a group of random people, of all ages really. And then I'm lying down, between this girl my age on the left and this old woman on the right. They're both lying down too but sort of sitting. There's a cover over my legs and this girl on the left.

      People are mostly just idling around and there are some paintings on the walls. I look closely at some, finding myself annoyed that I know some of them and that they've been there for an eternity, half thinking to myself "why can't one of mine be there?". The thought passes quickly and I look at another painting that catches my attention and I quite like. Somehow this makes many other people look at it too and start discussing it.

      My attention fades away from it and this girl on my left starts touching my private areas; I don't realise it's her doing it at first. I realise that both me and her didn't have pants or underwear on. For a moment I wonder if H was touching me in waking reality but the thought doesn't go past being somewhat automatic. I enjoy her touch but start to wonder why she's touching me like this. I assume that she wants the same so I move one of my hands to touch her in the same areas and this seems to completely surprise her, despite whatever pleasure she felt. I get the impression she is embarrassed now and she sort of gets up and dresses herself and leaves.

      The old woman on the right makes some comments, the last bit of which I vaguely remember. "It's not easy making money that way, you know." the old woman says. I reply: "No, I didn't think so either."

      Then I am left with some lingering thoughts of why she would try to make money in such a way, and why she left, but the rest of my dream recall sort of ends here.


      Notes:
      • In the third and final part of the dream, there was a fair bit of conversation between everyone and myself and other dream characters, but as I try to recall the dream I can only mostly remember silence.
      • The group of black guys in the first part of the dream were nobody I recognised, though they reminded me of friends I used to have when I was younger. I have had a few recurring appearances of those groups of friends and I felt it was somewhat familiar, especially because of the dream's location, which is where they typically appear in my dreams.
      • I think the jewellery was actually coming from some sort of replicating machine in the same place as the manually-run computer thing, but my memory of it is extremely vague.
      • The stone hall where that computer thing was, really wasn't very different from the actual entrance hall of my old building. It was sort of just super elongated and wider.
      • I have no idea now who the friend was with me and A. I don't recognise the face and seems to just be a generic construct of "male friend".
      • The girl touching me in the final part of the dream didn't tell me her name and somehow in the dream I felt the expectation that she would have done, especially before leaving. Although I remember her hair as being somewhat long and curly and dark, I got the impression there was something about her that was "redhead" or that the word "red" was somehow associated with her as a character.
      • The old woman in the same part had some sort of old-style blue dress, and reminded me a bit of a cartoon character in some way. Her hair was a perfect white and tied up in a sort of bun. What little I can remember of her face is that she looked youthful for how old it sounded like she was.
      • The appearance of both these sort of contrasting female figures is not without some personal meaning to me; it's the sort of thing I sometimes wonder about, especially if I'm working on some art piece involving nude human figure- the old woman was young like us at some point and so wasn't at all phased by what was happening. I often wonder how I will see this type of situation when I'm much older myself, or how I'll feel about it.
      • Nearly forgot to add this note: The odd mood lighting (sort of an orange-y red/purple) in the last part of the dream was incredibly similar to that of another strange dream I had some time back. I can't remember if I did have any thoughts about it during the dream.

      Updated 02-02-2020 at 03:11 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    12. lxviii.

      by , 01-16-2020 at 01:52 PM
      I've been having a somewhat better dream recall average than I normally would, but haven't been taking note of dreams enough and my last DJ here was ages ago now. This is a particularly memorable dream fragment from this week.



      Dream Fragment:


      First half is missing.

      Was in my home city, or some altered version of it. It was day time and I was heading home on foot; there was a fluid transition to my arrival home but I've forgotten the detail of it, and when I got there it was dark at that point. My dad was in his car and approached me and told me to get in the car so we could go somewhere (for a meal or something?) - I was a bit reluctant, I was feeling in pain and really tired; mom was sat at the back with one of my brothers (T) and one of my cousins (R) was sat at the front, so I sat next to mom.

      Dad started driving and very shortly after, we were going through some surreal highway that I've seen in some other dream fairly recently; surrounded by cliffs and 10-story buildings on top of the cliffs. It then turned into a rock and dirt road and there were dark abysses either side of the road, with more cliffs in the distance. I was a bit apprehensive too, but mom was starting to get quite worried and told dad, in the same way as I ever expect.

      He reassured her with a smile, saying: "It's fine, I've driven on these roads loads of times!". Very shortly after he said that, we went over a bump in the road, but there was nothing on the other side. The car fell straight into one of those abysses, none of us seemingly very concerned by this, plunging into water at the bottom.

      At first we didn't try to get out; I remember thinking "Well it doesn't really matter" but eventually we all got out and swam up. When we got to the surface of the water, some sort of root-like things descended toward us and took us to a sort of rocky area under a much bigger floating mass of rock.

      At the centre of this area there was some sort of little shop. I remember going in and seeing all these small 4:3 CRT TV screens, each one no bigger than my head, sat on shelves, almost perfectly spaced apart. Each one of the screens had a landscape view in it, like a live feed, but not much was going on in any of them. It was a colourful shelf to look at.

      As I walked along this narrow path between these big metal shelves with the TVs, something caught my attention on top of one shelf. A moonstone, but not as bright and vivid or even opalescent like one I actually have in reality. The gem was pale and sort of a sepia or cream colour but it was still slightly translucent as expected. What was odd about it was that it was encrusted with some sort of gold filigree and small golden spheres.

      Start to remember less detail at this point. I remember dad went off his own way and so did my sibling and cousin. Mom stayed with me and we went outside, where it was still dark, although the direct area around wherever we went was always seemingly lit. More like the darkness was a fog made of black.

      I remember seeing some bones or dead plants and noticing the floor was particularly arid. Eventually we found some building thing, which was very square. It had a brand new kitchen I think, but apart from that it was mostly just dark corridors. I don't remember anything after that point.


      A note:
      I remember that in the dream the surreal landscapes felt familiar but out of place. Although I did not get anywhere near being lucid, I've had more of these moments lately where I'll have pre-lucid thoughts or recognition of a feature from a past dream.
    13. xlviii.

      by , 10-10-2018 at 10:20 AM
      Non-dream stuff. Woke up at about 9, only vaguely recalling a non-lucid dream fragment and a nl short dream.


      Fragment:
      I was playing some sort of strategy game, possibly a space strategy game, and I was in a lobby menu and my partner was going to play with me; then one of my siblings (T) joined the game lobby too. I remember discussing the game with T too.

      Dream Sequence:
      It was night time, I was in some sort of rural backroad and there was a little girl, blonde I think. Some snakes started coming out of the hedges and going toward the girl, but very very slowly. There was a car some 100/150ft away with headlights on; the dream implied it was mine, and I went to get inside the car to drive over to the little girl and grab her to take her in the car (why didn't I just do it in the reverse order?). The whole scene happened in third person view. I entered the car and drove up to the girl and got out again; the girl got confused because of the strong headlights on the car and squinted and covered her face and was confused; and I was about to grab her to get her into the car but dream ended.


      Some notes:
      • The game in the first dream fragment will again be a waking life echo of playing something like Homeworld again.
      • In the dream, I don't remember feeling threatened by the snakes, nor do I remember thinking they were a threat to myself; but they were clearly distressing for the girl.
      • Only when writing the journal entry now did I realise it was an odd order to go about things, when I could have just grabbed her before getting to the car, especially given how slow the snakes were.
      • For some reason, as I recalling the short dream, the snakes made me think of hares, and then the October competition. (Do snakes hunt hares/rabbits?)




      Scoring thus far:
      + Previous score: 10.0

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 2.5
      ++ Recall a non-lucid fragment: 0.5
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream: 1.0
      ++ Help someone in need: 1.0

      = Total score thus far: 12.5
    14. xl. The black lizard and the BFG

      by , 09-20-2018 at 02:10 PM
      Non-dream stuff - I wrote most of this non-lucid dream on a tablet while cooking lunch, as I didn't get a chance to do so before that. Managed to remember a lot of detail, but not some missing bits from transitions and the like, unfortunately.



      Dream:
      I remember being some place outside. I was getting a big weapon. The poor memory I have of the outline makes me think of a black bfg. I had a small van like the one my partner has. It was a cloudy and grey day. I put the weapon in the back of the van.

      I remember the presence of my middle sibling and I think we spoke at some point, about the weapon. It was very rare and valuable.

      Then there's a transition and it implied I took it some place else. I was now in my "lair" and I was a dinosaur/monster like something out of the game Monster Hunter. The weapon was on a rock, safely secured somehow and I remembering seing an orange glow on its outline, like an item pickup in a game.

      Then I looked at the top right corner of a visual interface and it said 33,000,000 or so, and it was money I had.

      Another big black monster that looked like a Komodo dragon or some sort of lizard appeared and he wanted the weapon. I remember he had a deep voice but I don't remember any words. He wanted to take it by force so we fought for a bit and he tried to attack the things making the weapon secure, without much success. I think he ended up scurrying away.

      I then was in a human form and in a black mustang-y type car, seeing it from third person like in many free roam games, and I drove at some speed toward a "waypoint" where I would find the black lizard. I was driving through a city and it was a bit dark at first. I got to a wide river, and I remember I could see an industrial estate type place across the way. I couldn't cross with the car and "remembered" I could summon a jet, so I summoned a bomber jet and got in and took off; the city was more like a complex megapolis now and it was a clear and sunny day.

      Somewhat unexpectedly I wasn't controlling the jet too well, and had a few near-hits with buildings; there were drag forces I don't remember noticing before when flying these in games and the tall and branched buildings made it difficult to navigate at high speed but after through the mega city jungle I was arriving over my waypoint so I jumped out of the jet, landing somewhere near my waypoint, which was a bunker entrance. It became night again and there were military personnel that didn't look like they were going to let me inside but they didn't threaten me with their weapons so I rushed through the entrance, into some dark and dimly lit concrete halls. The few lights that existed were weak fluorescent lights.

      There wasn't much staff inside this bunker and I seemed to have lost the guards. In this section of the dream I can't actually remember what form I took, possibly alternating between human and lizard form; but I found the black lizard in a small room behind a classroom place that had window panes to an "open" underground area. It was still very dark but there was bright blue light from the large underground area. I assumed some kind of high tech generator though I don't remember looking.

      The black lizard was smaller than before, but though he was the same one as before, it was like he was younger now, hence his reduced size. I remember confronting him with more aggression and likewise back at me. I also remember thinking "why couldn't he just pay me a few millions for the weapon", also making me wonder how much money he had, which I assumed to be a lot.

      Unfortunately I can't remember what happened next in any detail and the dream ended shortly after.



      Notes (going into a bit of dream interpretation more than usual because of the dream's plot/context):
      - To me, the jet, the military staff and bunker are clearly based off my recent experience of playing Just Cause 3. Other elements from games are obviously present, like the weapon.
      - In the dream I did expect the jet control to be a lot more intuitive than it ended up being, but the giant branched buildings were very unexpected, because when I was on the ground I never spotted any.

      - Black seems to have been a very prevalent colour in this dream.
      - Black BFG, black lizard, black car, grey rocks, lots of places of darkness... Of contrast was the white van, the blue or tan jet and the shiny city buildings and blue sky when flying the jet.
      - Of note to me is that I immediately referenced the black lizard as male, and the fact that I was a lizard too, of some other colour, probably yellow or orange, indicates to me that the black lizard was likely a part of my Shadow and that I was playing some sort of Hero role.

      - I find that the Hero as represented by my less conscious mind tends to be too antagonistic towards the Shadow. This may just be a reflection of Hero portrayals in many typical stories. I personally see the Shadow archetype in general as a poor repressed fellow who needs attention or affection, rather than violence.
      - In my childhood pre-sleep lucids, the form of choice was usually a giant black lizard/dinosaur.

      - The last part of the dream has the most significance to me and follows a general pattern that my dreams sometimes take;
      -- The underground bunker goes down and deeper and gets darker and darker, which is a common process in my dreams, but the presence of a bright blue light at the end when confronting the black lizard in the darkness was somewhat unusual. I do usually have meaningful interactions with dark characters in these dream stages however.
      -- The fact that the black lizard was smaller and/or younger at the end makes me think that it is a part of my childhood that I've lost that I haven't been able to regain yet. As a child I was easily angry and aggressive, which was more or less the behaviour of the black lizard.



      Edit from 2 years after having first made this entry (altered some spacings above and corrected typos too):

      - As I re-read my dream and the notes, I realised that not once did I actually mention the colour of the black lizard's eyes, but I think due to some "memory corruption" I have mistakenly defined them as being blue. I think my error came from the memory of the light in the final scenes of the dream, where there was that incredible bright blue light beyond the glass.

      - My only guess is that my brain linked the two things together to define that the lizard's eyes were blue of the same colour. I think I am fine with this association either way and perhaps while it wasn't the actual colour in the dream, it doesn't really matter seeing as it was my subconscious that made that association to begin with!

      - Although I didn't describe it as such in the entry, I do remember that it was a semi-spherical room that the blue energy was contained in. It was a room of very large proportion, definitely based on some sci-fi stuff I've seen.

      Updated 08-08-2020 at 09:04 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    15. xxx.

      by , 08-27-2018 at 10:35 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up earlier than 10 a couple of times but got up at about 10:10. Was having a non-lucid but some details are missing.



      Dream:
      I remember that this was the start of a transition between two dreams, and I was walking to a gravel car park. It was day, and I had a backpack, full of stuff, whatever it was. Then in the car park were two of my old school friends. At first they didn't notice me because of the distance, but I hoped they would because they were walking away from the car park in my general direction but I also wanted to leave my backpack in their car.

      As I approached, I remember I was struggling with walking; it felt like it took a long time to get to them and they had at least spotted me. They walked back a few paces with me to their car, which looked like the car my dad has in waking life. One of my friends opened the boot and I dumped my heavy black backpack in there, remembering I still had some lessons that day, so I took out a couple of my pencil cases, ones which in waking life I use to keep pens and pencils separately and that I've always used.

      Then there was either a transition or it was implied we walked somewhere else.
      We were in an old building, ruined. There were more people, and now this was some sort of game. Me and my two friends ran out of the building first and it looked like it was some sort of hunger games/battle royale thing, so the three of us had an advantage for getting out first and we went through areas of a ruined city. I remember seeing our health numbers, 64, 40 something and another. I spotted some monkeys or something and decided to make them friendly with us; my friend asked what the point was, and I explained that as the other people came by, the monkeys would attack them and weaken them, without putting us at risk.

      Then the rest of the groups started arriving in a scattered manner. I grabbed a stone and watched each person cautiously. Many of them went by ignoring me, running and looking for things to use. I went past a girl with a dog, that initially was on a lead, and then the lead vanished. The girl went one direction down some steps and the dog went another direction, where I came from.

      Then there was some sort of flat area lower from where I had been, and everyone was here now. In a way it was like people had a short field of vision, like they couldn't see how close I was, like how ridiculous stealth can be in some video games. I remember the stone I held was limestone square cobble; it had a very sharp edge. I slashed a girl on her naked back and prowled away; the girl became complaintative to the rest of the people something like "how am I going to win now?!" with some sort of moody attitude.

      The slash I'd inflicted on her was quite deep along the spine, but in retrospect she didn't seem to struggle or feel too much pain about it. I remember as I prowled around the area that these people all looked like former classmates or were simply random dream characters. My two old friends, I couldn't spot anywhere.

      Then I remember I cut two other people, on their shoulders and arms. Not as serious, more like scratches. I seem to remember either everyone was naked or something. I think this was inconsistent in the dream.

      Then there was a group of 5 or 6 older adults, in their 40s, 50s, 60s. They stood straight and graciously at one end of this area and one, a white, large lady, barked some complaints she had about something. Another, a black man, disagreed with her and said something about mental illness, and the reality of it. The comments were all related to the "game".



      Notes:
      • In this dream sequence, my old school friends would probably have been the best cue for RCing. I have not seen or spoken to them in several years now.
      • I think that to make the monkeys friendly with us I had given them something they could eat, though I can't remember what.
      • Through the whole second part of the dream I was mostly calm but in that mode where one observes everything very carefully as if anyone could be a threat. It's a basic instinct feeling, which is not surprising given the dream's context.
      • I'm not sure why I cut the others with less force than that first girl; I remember the cut on her spine looked a vivid red. I think I felt like perhaps I'd caused too much harm, even if I should be concerned about my own "survival". I could have just killed any of them, but I didn't, and I don't know why.
      • I think the man at the end was making a point that conflict could make us mentally ill. That's how I felt about it, somehow.

      Updated 08-29-2018 at 01:28 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
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