• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    I am keeping this dream journal out of the interest of making my dream recall improve again, as I have gone for a quite some time without making a journal at all.



    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing on paper only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I will not be naming people by their names unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I want the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    I will keep a list of my dream signs in a separate area when I get around to it.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them.

    Will edit this with more later.

    1. cvii.

      by , 04-01-2020 at 12:48 PM
      A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway.

      Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories.



      Dream:

      Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly.

      This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door.

      I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too.

      Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something.

      Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began.

      Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already.

      Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt.

      Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it.



      Notes:
      - When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens.
      - I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold.
      - The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like.
      - In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point.
      - Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems.
      - More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too.
      - The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.

      Updated 04-01-2020 at 12:50 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    2. cvi.

      by , 03-31-2020 at 04:11 PM
      Dreams for the mornings of 26th, 27th and 31st of March. 26th and 27th enclosed in spoiler to reduce general length of the DJ entry.

      The last few days I have had decent dream recall from morning awakenings but I have felt too tired to make initial notes for them (28th,29th,30th). Sleep has been unusual for this past week, keep getting up too late despite several normal awakening times but might be starting to improve again.



      26th:

      Spoiler for 26th content:


      27th:

      Spoiler for 27th content:


      31st:

      I had some sort of pre-sleep half-dream. I was starting to "paint" with just my mind (telekinetically) and was having ideas for a new painting and what I might paint next in my art room.

      Dream:

      I was in Sweden. I was with one or both of my Swedish friends and we were in their metro system. The stations were tall and spacious, but what really caught my attention was the shapes of the architectural structure. A lot of long and abstract shapes (just the kind of thing I'd like to build with concrete) and all of the stations we went through were mostly concrete, which I think my friends disliked. I think I liked it despite the lack of colour just because of the shapes.

      The stations were very well lit and quite busy. I remember we went through one station on the train and there were small island platforms with crossings between them that went down on the rail level, which seemed to imply a high degree of self-responsibility from people.

      Another part of the dream or a different dream, I was trying to get to or from university?

      Dream Fragment:

      Something like the cities game I've played recently, but mixed with actually travelling through the city. I was trying to manage some sort of power dams, three of them to be exact, and they were using water from a mountain like a custom map I made in WL that had a dormant volcano lake.

      There were some flow issues eventually, especially because the water was getting completely drained by the dams and this disrupted where it wanted to flow; the water from the source started making its own way in opposite directions and this annoyed me.

      Dream Fragment:

      In some kind of office. I remember the typical fake ceiling and light fittings. It must have been afternoon; there was a nice and golden light coming in through blinds that covered the windows. The dream focus was on two characters. A stereotypical "madame" and her butler. She wanted to check if she had won some prize with this organisation which did travel tours as rewards? She was obviously naive with her direct interactions with people and the world. Someone representing the organisation felt a bit odd and sinister.



      Notes:
      - The pre-sleep state was interesting because it was like what I used to get as a child, just not as strong. It came on very subtly and on its own.
      - That state's content was a conscious decision, because I quickly understood that I was more creatively receptive at this stage compared to normal thought, just a shame I didn't interrupt it to make any notes about the painting ideas.
      - I was a bit disappointed to not have made notes about the sex dream right after it had happened. In the last few days during the first morning awakenings I have dreams with great recall and think to myself of short word descriptions for the dreams so that I can remember them even if I fall asleep but this technique hasn't worked very much so in conclusion I really need to just write down dreams as soon as I can if I'm likely to fall asleep again.
    3. cv.

      by , 03-25-2020 at 12:17 PM
      Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.




      Dream:


      I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

      We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

      Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

      I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

      Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

      But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

      Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

      There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

      Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

      I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

      Dream Fragment:


      At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

      It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

      Dream Fragment:

      Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.



      Notes:
      - Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
      - The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
      - The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.
    4. ciii.

      by , 03-23-2020 at 12:33 PM
      Two dreams from this morning.



      Dream:

      Don't remember the start of the dream really but I was seeing some pictures in a news article, I think on a newspaper. It was about two men and a woman who had returned to Earth after being in outer space, and they were being praised for their survival.

      It seemed odd because I thought this to be a fairly routine thing and there was no subtext of an accident having occurred or anything.
      Spoiler for Possibly gorey/graphic:


      Dream Fragment:

      I was in a town, don't know it from anywhere in waking life but it had the typical look of towns from my native country. It had a characteristic path that in the dream's context was commonplace for me to use. The path went up to and across a small water area that was quite deep, the only way to cross it was on some rickety wooden beams. The water looked murky but clear at the same time, and I wasn't afraid of falling in, finding myself much more concerned with the fact that I realised that recently the beams had been moved and had to be adjusted now before I could cross.

      I saw an old lady across from the water, she was carrying some shopping home and didn't look my way, but I heard her muttering that she wished her grandma would stop moving the beams. I had a passing thought of asking her to confront her grandma so it wouldn't happen again, but I didn't.

      The dream went on for a while but I don't remember any details apart from the fact that it had something to do with aunts from my mom's side and my siblings.




      Notes:

      - The first dream was quite unusual in its content and my sense of location was more inside the pictures than where I actually was reading this article from. This morning was disrupted by loud construction work at 7AM so maybe that had something to do with it.
      - The general plot of that dream may simply have come because I've been watching some medical dramas recently, although there has been nothing in them quite like this.
      - I'm remembering that the second dream took place during day time but everything looked particularly grey and overcast.
    5. ci.

      by , 03-21-2020 at 02:13 PM
      Really bad headache last night, but had some semi-lucid dream as I fell asleep. Haven't been making note of dreams very much in the last few days on account of going through a phase of being too tired on waking and too many mornings having their routines disrupted.

      Edit: Somehow nearly forgot an important detail here; While I was in bed trying to fall asleep I did try to incubate dreams about working on my paintings again, my thoughts on this passed fairly early on and I got distracted with other thoughts, getting somewhat vivid music and other sleep cues instead but I suppose the lucid dream did relate directly to the incubation intent. I thought I'd try working on the incubation anyway because of my headache, and it did help to distract me from it.



      Lucid fragment (on falling asleep):

      I didn't notice the transition from wakefulness to dream imagery but I was in a bigger version of our front room. It was day time, my paints and the table I keep them on were there and I remember the big window. I don't think the canvas I've been working on was there. I half realised I was dreaming and walked or ran forward into the room, towards the opposite wall, which is a corner where I keep a bunch of my stuff for painting, but in the dream context it's like there would be a door there or something, even though I couldn't see it yet; I carried out some hand checks as I moved even though I was already in a type of lucidity but the stability started to go pretty quickly and I lost my half-lucid state. Sort of faded away in terms of recall after that.

      The only thing I remember after that is a gap of nothingness and then some dreams from the morning, that again I didn't turn into notes.

      Updated 03-21-2020 at 02:15 PM by 95293

      Categories
      side notes , lucid , dream fragment
    6. xcix.

      by , 03-14-2020 at 02:57 AM
      Dream fragment from the 13th.


      Fragment:

      I was in some altered version of my old home, in particular it seemed to be centred around my first bedroom in the house but the layout of everything was completely different, and the halls and ceilings were much bigger. Perhaps a reflection of the different perspective from when I was very young (4-6?), but in the dream I was just the age I am now. I think I remember daylight coming from outside. In many senses the physical context of the dream was very reminiscent of my earliest conscious memory of waking life.

      There were a lot of family characters present, mostly aunts from dad's side and my direct family in itself.

      I don't remember many of the details anymore but one of the main dream plots was that there was this mouse which was no bigger than my closed fist, minus the tail. For whatever reason, I wanted to build it a nest near the top of one of the walls in "my room". I remember getting some wicker type material to make the nest with, or maybe like hay. But it had a paper-like texture, at any rate. I wanted the nest to be atop a pipe or pole that would be attached to the wall (visually reminded me of a wastepipe) so that the mouse could run up and down to and from the nest. The mouse had typical light brown fur.


    7. xc.

      by , 02-27-2020 at 10:37 AM
      Over the last two days or so I haven't been able to either retain dream memories or make note of them for multiple reasons. I do still have some scraps of memories left so maybe writing those out would be a good idea.


      Scrap, two days ago:

      In the kitchen. There's a fluffy, sort of orange coloured spider thing? It's in the thing that holds loose leaf tea for brewing, maybe it's dead or not but it looked crammed in it. It's in the sink anyway, and I turn the tap on and water pours on it.

      The fur absorbs the water and it gets a lot bigger. In the dream this spooks me, mostly because it was unexpected, but then it somehow becomes a bit sexual as I decide in the dream that I shouldn't be afraid of it and I show it my naked bottom, but it felt like it was partially a taunt of some kind too. I don't remember any other details except that the dream started to sort of distort, weird colours.

      Scrap, one day ago:

      The dream just seemed to be a Johnny Bravo cartoon or something. I just remember some really crude scene where there was a woman with her breasts bare and Johnny made a crude remark in surprise.

      Scrap, today:

      Lots of being outside. Day time mostly, but kind of grey. Was in a van at several points? Maybe helping H. Memory of the dream has faded more than I expected. It felt like it was a long dream sequence.


      Some notes:

      - The dream with the spider was odd. Mostly, it made me realise that while I have largely gotten over my phobia of spiders, there are still plenty of types of spider that I wouldn't commonly see in waking life, simply because they don't exist here and I think that seeing these different kinds might still make me jump a bit more than seeing the ones that do exist around here. The instinctual behaviour of getting spooked by spiders never seems to have really abandoned me even though I got over my phobia, but perhaps it's also a sign that there's still more that can be done about it.
      - The sexual part of that dream probably relates to how I've realised in the past that positive emotional association can be helpful when dealing with phobia-type stuff.
      - Not sure what brought on the cartoon dream, as I haven't watched that specific cartoon at all in over 10, maybe 15 years?
      - Today's dream had an overarching plot to it, but I can't remember any specific detail anymore that would let me expand on the dream's detail.
    8. lxxiii.

      by , 01-30-2020 at 01:57 PM
      Some fragments from last night.


      Fragment:

      I was in some kind of starship, not unlike one from Star Trek but there was a mixed feel from several space stuff, including a bit from Starpoint Gemini. I was captaining the ship and we were headed straight for a blue-ish planet, covered mostly by water than anything else. I could see the system's star just left of where the planet was, much further away.

      Some four or five other green-coloured ships appeared, intercepting and following us closely. I suggested to an officer to simply activate the cloaking device ability and could see in a third-person view from outside the ship as the field enveloped it and the other ships disbanded in separate directions. (Expectable AI behaviour if it were a game)

      As we got very close to the planet, I could see everything in a sort of cinematic view and then the ship started getting close to the ground to land somewhere but for whatever reason it had to be at an airport, so the ship kept making really wide loops closing in and away from the planet surface.

      Every time we got close, I could see on some disembodied interface some information about the local surface structures. I did see a fair few airports, but many of which had tractors lining up vegetables in the runways. This annoyed me slightly.

      There is a transition and I am now on my own at some sort of Japanese-looking castle. It's night-time but I can see the moon and everything looks bright and blue-ish. There are some sort of holographic security features. (This part of the dream vaguely reminded me of Starbound)

      Fragment:

      Just a small part of some other dream, I was in a town with some friends, not sure who. We just came out of a restaurant that was closing for the night and then two of us went one way, and I wondered where the third member was. I asked my friend, who only vaguely suggested the other might have gone looking for something.

      I remember wandering streets, there was a lot of light, from glowing signs and lampposts. I could see people sitting at cafes and so on.

      At some point we went into some shop and I wondered again about the missing friend. The friend that was with me was fascinated and excited by rediscovering some sort of cardboard packed plastic ketchup sachets.

      The next bit I remember, stuck in some sort of traffic at a four-way junction, with three lanes on each direction.



      Side notes:

      • The first dream was a bit more unusual as I haven't had many dreams that take place in space, even though I've played a lot of games that do.
      • The view-point changes were sort of frequent in the space dream and they felt a bit like they were made through a keyboard I couldn't quite feel. I suppose this sensation is quite similar to when I'm actually playing or writing something, where the keyboard sort of just becomes an extension of awareness, rather than existing as a physical obstacle, in a sense.
      • Most of these dream fragments I am getting lately are written quite a lot later from when I had the dreams, so it's a sign that recall is improving somewhat and I am also noticing more pre-lucid thoughts at a sort of "gut feeling" level, where I am not expressly thinking in spoken words but rather getting feelings or intuition about the dreams' content.

      Updated 01-30-2020 at 02:21 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    9. lxviii.

      by , 01-16-2020 at 01:52 PM
      I've been having a somewhat better dream recall average than I normally would, but haven't been taking note of dreams enough and my last DJ here was ages ago now. This is a particularly memorable dream fragment from this week.



      Dream Fragment:


      First half is missing.

      Was in my home city, or some altered version of it. It was day time and I was heading home on foot; there was a fluid transition to my arrival home but I've forgotten the detail of it, and when I got there it was dark at that point. My dad was in his car and approached me and told me to get in the car so we could go somewhere (for a meal or something?) - I was a bit reluctant, I was feeling in pain and really tired; mom was sat at the back with one of my brothers (T) and one of my cousins (R) was sat at the front, so I sat next to mom.

      Dad started driving and very shortly after, we were going through some surreal highway that I've seen in some other dream fairly recently; surrounded by cliffs and 10-story buildings on top of the cliffs. It then turned into a rock and dirt road and there were dark abysses either side of the road, with more cliffs in the distance. I was a bit apprehensive too, but mom was starting to get quite worried and told dad, in the same way as I ever expect.

      He reassured her with a smile, saying: "It's fine, I've driven on these roads loads of times!". Very shortly after he said that, we went over a bump in the road, but there was nothing on the other side. The car fell straight into one of those abysses, none of us seemingly very concerned by this, plunging into water at the bottom.

      At first we didn't try to get out; I remember thinking "Well it doesn't really matter" but eventually we all got out and swam up. When we got to the surface of the water, some sort of root-like things descended toward us and took us to a sort of rocky area under a much bigger floating mass of rock.

      At the centre of this area there was some sort of little shop. I remember going in and seeing all these small 4:3 CRT TV screens, each one no bigger than my head, sat on shelves, almost perfectly spaced apart. Each one of the screens had a landscape view in it, like a live feed, but not much was going on in any of them. It was a colourful shelf to look at.

      As I walked along this narrow path between these big metal shelves with the TVs, something caught my attention on top of one shelf. A moonstone, but not as bright and vivid or even opalescent like one I actually have in reality. The gem was pale and sort of a sepia or cream colour but it was still slightly translucent as expected. What was odd about it was that it was encrusted with some sort of gold filigree and small golden spheres.

      Start to remember less detail at this point. I remember dad went off his own way and so did my sibling and cousin. Mom stayed with me and we went outside, where it was still dark, although the direct area around wherever we went was always seemingly lit. More like the darkness was a fog made of black.

      I remember seeing some bones or dead plants and noticing the floor was particularly arid. Eventually we found some building thing, which was very square. It had a brand new kitchen I think, but apart from that it was mostly just dark corridors. I don't remember anything after that point.


      A note:
      I remember that in the dream the surreal landscapes felt familiar but out of place. Although I did not get anywhere near being lucid, I've had more of these moments lately where I'll have pre-lucid thoughts or recognition of a feature from a past dream.
    10. lviii. lix.

      by , 10-26-2018 at 11:40 AM
      lviii. 25th of October

      Non-lucid fragment:
      Some guy wanting me to have sex with him, I told him I didn't want to, and he insisted about it, and I told him I'd made that mistake before and I wasn't going to treat my partner (H) that way again. I remember telling him to ask H if he'd wanted to have sex with him and then at some other point in the dream I remember meeting up with H.

      The dream took place in some unknown dream-generated location. It was day, the light and the sky were yellow/orange and there were rock cliffs and wide ravines. The rock was warm colours too.



      lix. 26th of October (date of this post)

      Non-lucid fragment:
      Something about being flexible enough to inspect my bottom; Was trying to identify the cause of some pain. For context, in waking life I've been having pain in that area for quite some time but it comes and goes, likely part of my condition.

      Non-lucid dream:
      I remember driving a truck from outside its cabin, around a roundabout some several times trying to figure out where I was supposed to be going. There was some halloween party at some castle and the truck had supplies I was going to deliver. Busy traffic at this roundabout, was constantly worried about causing an accident, but not so worried because I was on the truck and not in a car.

      Transition.

      In a fancy hotel/penthouse-like place. Me and H were walking toward a door, carrying some stuff. We were expected. This was the personal penthouse of some old Pioneer Corp executive. We were bringing some gear to demo to this guy and I think he was curious about us bringing in stuff this old.

      I was carrying one of the very heavy power-amps but it seemed exceptionally light and maybe a bit too small; still, I was very careful putting it down on a glass table and H was bringing in some not-too-big speakers that would go on top of a table too. We got it all set up after a bit of faffing around but the Japanese executive didn't seem to mind. There was another man, a fat white guy with some beard and long-ish hair, who looked a bit like a hippie and maybe had a Hawaiian shirt.

      Then they asked us what we were going to play on the sound system and I can't remember what were our first thoughts, something classical? Then someone or H said the Matrix soundtrack, and I said "yeah that'll work". The Japanese man seemed satisfied enough with that choice and he had given us a choice after all.

      I remember the furniture all being wood, in a light-ish stain; sort of orange but very highly waxed or varnished.

      Some sort of transition, all of a sudden watching some version of the World of Warcraft film (which I haven't watched in waking life), and I remember thinking and commenting how bad some details looked. The story was all over the place, with King Terenas and his son Arthas being underwater and Arthas trying to murder his father with a long blade and laughing underwater. Arthas' hair was black, rather than blonde in the dream.

      Then there was some sort of Alliance siege on an underground naval barricade.

      I don't remember enough details to describe the scene and it was all a bit messy to be honest; for most of it my perspective was directly within the "film".



      I will do some scoring a bit later. Not adding any notes. I'm really tired and was almost not motivated enough to even write this entry.


      Scoring:
      + Previous score: 58.5

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 2.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid fragment * 2: 1.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream: 1.0

      = Total score thus far: 60.5

      Updated 10-28-2018 at 01:48 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    11. lvi.

      by , 10-22-2018 at 12:19 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up at about 7:40, I was very hot, remembering a non-lucid as I came out of it; initially wasn't going to make note of it but did so on my phone, remembering more detail than expected but quite tired so some details missed. Then I woke up again at around 11:00, with a non-lucid dream in memory that started fragmenting but didn't disappear as I got up.



      Dream 1:
      Was dreaming I was walking through a supermarket store with my partner (H) and it was a bit busy. The shop had a weird layout and looked like it was just in an old warehouse; the floor was a mix of large tiles and bare concrete? It was day outside and some light could get in through corrugated plastic that was only partly translucent. The place didn't look all that clean.

      Got to the other end and there was a tourniquet and a guy watching over it behind a counter. Somehow H had a ticket, it looked green and bulky. I asked if we should both go through at the same time but instantly I thought this wasn't a good idea with the guy watching so closely even if it was busy.

      I tried asking the guy about getting a ticket and he wasn't very interested in helping me and gestured to a machine. I ran up to it as some other people were slowly getting up to it too. I got in line first and probably annoyed the others; I couldn't read the screen properly because it looked like a calculator's liquid crystal display and it was small and dirty. Background was typical dry yellow-green and black letters.

      I faffed about with the controls because I couldn't see or reach properly. I felt twisted trying to use the machine. A kid with a yellow cap helped me and I thanked her and gave her a pat on the cap saying "thank you, you're a good kid" and I think she smiled.

      Struggling to get my wallet out from my (left?) pants pocket. I got it out and it was the wallet I have in waking life; there was a flat bit on the machine and I opened the coin bit and dumped it over the flat area and a lot of junk came out; there was a tiny blazon thing, some rocky/gravel fragments, and other things I don't remember. The total money I had that I could use was about 1.14 or something, and I apparently needed 1.73 or so for the machine.

      I put the crap back in my wallet and inserted what money I had somewhere into the machine and got the ticket and ran back to the tourniquet and H had already gone past it. I tried passing too now with the ticket but it wouldn't work and the guy at the counter said it didn't have enough money in it, I said "I know it doesn't but I don't have enough cash on me" to which he replied "you can pay with contactless...". I said "I didn't even notice any card payments" and I was hoping he'd pity me or feel sorry for me at least and be kind but I tried asking him to just sort it out with me here and now, but he ignored me and eventually told me to go walk around and get back to him.

      H come back but it wasn't H anymore but a friend from my childhood M, and I asked him what happened to him, as his nose was all bloody. I remember him smiling but don't remember his answer.

      I walked around and watched people in the shop getting milk and so on, and as I walk along, this black teenager has a trolley that acts like a spider or something; as he comes past me I smile awkwardly because somehow I think it's amusing and he was smiling too. I remember thinking he'd modified the trolley himself.

      Going through a cheap art prints section, it's very busy, and I appreciate seeing some of the art pieces anyway. I get to the end of the aisle and it's a corner of the building, so there's only a left turn, which I take and there are some vases with big-ish plants in them, like small palms. I start heading back to the guy at the counter and the tourniquet and then this bouncy beach ball appears and is going towards the vases; I see it hit one and I watch until it's just about to hit the ground, turning my head back in the direction I was walking and it makes a thud noise, presumably not breaking, and I hear people sigh in relief.

      Then the tourniquet guy accuses some youth and me as being responsible; I say I don't even know this guy and I was walking around like he'd told me in the first place and get pissed off, feeling like punching him in the face. I wake up sweating and too hot.

      Dream 2 (in pieces):
      I was in some unknown place, it was night and there were ancient Egyptian buildings. It was dark but I remember some creatures or some danger, and there was a pick-up truck thing, which someone was driving; they told me to get in the back and I remember climbing over in a rushed manner and sort of fumbling into the back.

      We drove away I think. Transition?

      In a building nearby, ancient. Dark inside, some faint blue glows. I remember previous parts of the dream where I was collecting some blue glowing stones, and here was a final one or something; this was a fourth stone.

      In this building there were two tiers, the ground level and a higher level on a bridge. There was some sort of lift mechanism to go up. I went up to the bridge, made of glass and maybe some metal, and there was a door at the end; glowing blue, faintly, with 4 square sections, for the stones. Dream implied I placed them and transition, unsure where to, but maybe I remember a dark hall next. Some sort of pet creature, a cat? Dream is too fragmented at this point and there are several possible fragments that could fit here, but not enough detail for them...

      At some point at the ground floor of a tall building, modern, day time, lots of glass, light coming in from outside. Some sort of levitating lift platform, my mom is nearby I seem to remember, but I break the platform trying to use it. A guy gets annoyed at me and I say "look it's fine, I can fix it" and I see there's a circuit board and I inspect it looking for an issue; it's snapped at one of the ends but it actually doesn't seem so important that it can't just be jumped with a new lead and some components moved; I do it somehow and it's fixed but the guy wasn't happy anyway.

      Transition, at the top of the same building, arrived in some sort of elevator. A much smaller room, but still like a big office hall, but glass all around still. I really need a wee and ask someone to use the bathroom, they tell me to go to a horizontal cylinder near one of the windows; apparently this thing is the toilet... I get inside this plastic tube thing, it is really uncomfortable inside, and I start getting pain hypersensitivity because there are sharp plastic edges and I ask for help to get out because I can't manage on my own; I give up on the toilet idea and am annoyed by the fact that these people aren't sensible to just have a bathroom that's actually a room.

      There is a big door. Reminds me now of a level transition door from STRAFE's final levels. I remember going through, different feel to this area. Isolated, darker, but still bright. There's someone else here, some sort of boss? But they're hidden, and I remember walking around at a calm pace, exploring. It looks like some sort of game level, there are conveyor belts and pick ups and dark pits. I see some glowing green panels, again, like STRAFE. I don't remember what I did next or what happened but woke up soon after.



      Some notes:
      • Dreams from which I wake up too hot I think have an inverse cause-effect relationship. I think I'm having those dreams because I'm too hot, as when my body temperature regulation goes bad I start to get a lot of mental side-effects (if I'm awake and body temperature goes awry I start getting "fever-dream" effects).
      • The kid that had the cap, the cap was like ones I've seen (and worn) in my childhood, when I was very young and we went to the beach, for one example.
      • Though I wasn't aware of it at any level in the dream, there were actually a lot of elements in the last part of the 2nd dream that reminded me of a mixture of STRAFE and certain malls I've been to.
      • The other glowing blue stones weren't just dream memories, I had actually dreamed those bits too, but most of that was too vague and of little visual detail for me to be able to put into words.
      • Overall the 2nd dream was very long.
      • I've started noticing a pattern/dream sign with these two dreams, which I think has only started occurring recently; the feeling of being twisted using the ticket machine, struggling to get into the back of the pick-up truck and the cylindrical sharp edges plastic "toilet" thing. In all of these, there was a heightened sensation of struggle and pain to reach for things or to move. This may be related to something that is going outside the dream world...





      Scoring thus far:
      + Previous score: 52.0

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 5.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream * 2: 2.0
      ++ Buy something: 1.0 (the ticket)
      ++ Ask for advice * 2: 2.0 (asking the ticket guy for help; asking for the bathroom)

      = Total score thus far: 57.0
    12. xliv.

      by , 10-03-2018 at 09:49 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up at about 9:00, remembering one long(ish) non-lucid dream. Some details lost.



      Sequence:
      I remember being in a variation of my current home. I was in the kitchen. I remember a big man, he was a friend of ours; I think he was of some african ethnicity but he wasn't that dark - he had short hair and brown eyes and big hands; his girlfriend, who was of similar ethnicity was there too? She had long curly hair and brown eyes also. I think the kitchen lights may have been on, but it was day outside, maybe clear but very early.

      I remember they were talking and then it turned into an argument and I joined his girlfriend's side of the argument for some reason. Then I asked him to leave, and I realised I was a bit angry, so I immediately calmed myself down, touched him in the arm, as he was upset too, and I said "I'm sorry about that." - then everyone was a bit calmer and for some reason he had this bag full of chestnuts covered in sugar that had been deep-fried. They looked delicious but I commented that they looked nice, but unfortunately my mouth didn't agree because of all the sugar.

      I tried to make light of the situation somehow but either way, I then went through the main hall; the front door was open and as I walked out, the scenery was different from what it should be; our side of the street was still a row of terraced houses but the opposite side was just forest/green, and the road was wider (2 lane instead of single lane) and the pavement was much wider. My partner was parked up to the right in the car. To the left was some sort of factory (maybe tire factory, there is one where I live, but not that close).

      The factory was not open, as all its (visitor?) parking spaces outside were empty. I thought it had closed for the day, though the dream-time seemed like morning, my assumption was end of day time in the dream. Opposite to the factory parking spaces was a wide bit where a bus/coach could stop. Then the road did a curve as it went on.

      My partner was on the phone and had sunglasses on in the car. Opposite me, the other side of the road was some Korean man, he smiled a lot I think. Some children were playing too, I remember a little girl for some reason. I remember my mood outside was a driven one, I was looking for parking for the man inside the house, and I concluded there was none apart from the factory's spaces, so I walked back in and was going to tell him, but I had some doubts it was "ok" to use those spaces, but I think I could hear my partner's voice saying it was fine, because everyone had left. (another hint that the dream time was end of day, really)

      Transition of some kind or missing detail...

      I remember being with a group of people, my dad was one of the people but I don't remember who else, I think just dream characters. Of note was a man older than my dad. We were in a mall (this could have been a more obvious dream-sign on its own, plus the presence of my dad) and then we went up some concrete stairs and we were in an overhang tunnel, that went over some street or something. It wasn't very long but had angular corners. I walked next to my dad and as we were crossing, he pulled some sort of lever and the tunnel bridge started to rotate its middle section; I looked behind to see if the other DCs were able to get on.

      We walked to the other end and there was a stairwell down. Then I remember being outside of there and it was like some sort of campus... I looked around (I can't remember my motivations or intents) and ended up going down some more stairs into a dark place, a subway. The tracks were at the same level as the platform, i.e. there was no stone/concrete lip over the tracks. There were quite a few people at this tiny platform that was no bigger than a small room. The tunnels were equally dark, maybe brighter somehow. I think I had stepped on someone that was sitting down at some point, though I don't remember apologising, for some reason. I couldn't see them, still.

      Then I went down more stairs, to a similar sort of platform, also dark and small with several people waiting. I realised I was in the wrong place "that's the yellow line... I want the blue line" I thought, after seeing a yellow line along the tracks. I went up a level again and concluded that platform wasn't right either. I had the impression that each track was for the same line but went opposite directions.

      I got out to the surface again, this campus place, but everything looked... fake, almost plastic-like. I walked along the pavements between the grassy bits and there were people around. I reached a point that had one of those blocks you can hit from Super Mario. The dream started to look a bit Minecraft-y, with voids in certain spots on the ground, sky visible. I fell down by accident into a small void pit but fortunately there were some stone blocks there. I climbed up the opposite side and continued walking.

      Dream details are starting to go really fuzzy now, remaining memories of particular note only being one of a sword or something and of walking into a different place.



      Notes:
      • When I was thinking why I didn't want the chestnuts the reason was a valid waking-life reason, as I currently have some mouth ulcers that I really shouldn't "feed".
      • It is peculiar that chestnuts appeared, especially prepared in such an unusual way. I haven't had chestnuts in quite a while, but I haven't been thinking about them. It may be an automatic craving, as this is about the right time of the year, when we used to have chestnuts at my childhood home.
      • The Korean man was a waking-life remnant because a friend of ours was discussing the North Korean leader in passing conversation last night.
      • The subway, tracks, etc all were very obvious dream-signs that I missed as always. As I was thinking about that part when I was writing it, I was realising that when I've seen trains recently (mostly in games) I've never remembered to do a RC.
    13. xxxix.

      by , 09-19-2018 at 11:46 AM
      Non-dream stuff - I have a lucid fragment, that occurred at an unknown time. Then, just a non-lucid dream that I've forgotten details on.



      Lucid fragment:
      It was dim. I see my left hand and count 6 fingers, the extra finger being conjoined with the pinky or ring finger. I have a brief realisation that I'm dreaming, visually the dream starts to disappear into darkness and it feels like I bump into something, and then just the nothingness of unconsciousness until the next dream memory.

      Dream fragment:
      I remember arriving at a street with my partner, in the car. I suggest we park on some spots close to these terraced houses on the street. The layout is a bit like a corner but it makes more sense in the dream context than it would in waking life. The bit I suggested we park the car on, turns out is for disabled only. In the dream I remember thinking that I really need to do something to get that sorted out, the thought felt like it was more conscious than other parts of the dream.

      We park somewhere else a bit further and then I remember approaching the terraced houses, and one of them is actually a bank, and I bought that specific one, apparently. The house door was 60 something, and in the dream context I notice or remember that a friend of ours who's been staying over with us, is living over at door 57, which is around the corner, which again doesn't make sense in a real layout, since it technically would be a different street, the numbers shouldn't add up like that.

      I remember being inside the bank-turned-house and noticing glass with red painted stripes, as with a particular bank, and for some reason the house is connected directly to another one that was also from the same bank but hadn't been sold. I remember turning something on or looking for something to eat and feeling like it was odd that I could see a bank agent across the way.

      In the dream I was satisfied with how the house looked, though it was pretty bare; mostly shiny tiles and glass.

      Later on in the dream I remember walking with my partner again, over some sort of low roof (less than a story high), which was used as a public bridge or something. My mom was at the opposite end, sitting with her legs crossed; as we got closer she looked at me and smiled and told me something. I remember people going past us on the left, using the "bridge". It was day-time through the entire dream, but at first it was cloudy and then it must have been less cloudy near the end because there were more bright streaks.



      No notes for now, feeling quite tired.
    14. xxxvii.

      by , 09-15-2018 at 12:13 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Still waking up generally later than I'd like, which has been messing with dream recall a bit but usually by the time I get up I have to be thinking about other things, so I've probably skipped some days I could have managed some DJ entries. A fragment of a non-lucid, since I've forgotten many details by now.



      Dream fragment:
      I don't remember exactly where I was, but it felt like somewhere in the USA. There was this old wooden house, maybe a farmhouse, kind of "western" style but not quite. The wood was painted white I think and it was day time, clear or mostly clear skies.

      The house was going to get pulled down by some people using ropes, I think I gave them a hand with it; it sort of tumbled on its face but without much real damage. Then we got closer to have a look and I think there was a transition or some sort of change, as it felt like I was looking through the windshield of a lorry, but anyway, there were several contents inside and it was a bit dark. Some of these other guys were looking at what they could take, because someone said this didn't belong to anyone, so it was free pickings.

      At first I thought they were all going to rush for several objects of more value but that didn't happen and I found myself looking at an electric piano/keyboard, and one of the guys was sitting on its bench. It didn't seem to work for some reason and I noticed some big pan-head screws on the corners of the top; they were so big I just unscrewed them by hand and had a look inside. With the lid off, I was somewhat surprised to read in a cursive font "Pioneer" on the top of the wood that was under the lid. I expected it to be a Roland. (And that I know of, Pioneer never made this sort of thing)

      Inside, on the left side there was some sort of "tone control" that went from -2 to +3, but was set to +3. Under it was a bakelite type thing with 2 knobs on it but I'm not sure what it was or did. I commented to this guy sitting at the keyboard that they probably put the tone control at +3 because they used weak transistors which made it sound not very good at 0. I think he asked why and I said "it was probably cheaper for the company this way".

      There was more after this, but I seem to have forgotten any details.



      • In the dream, looking at the keyboard, I had a vague memory from waking life about an amplifier we recently looked at.
      • Because I generally only help with electronics and don't do actual repairs myself, my knowledge is somewhat limited, so I am not currently certain if my assessment of the inside of the keyboard would have been correct or appropriate.
      • I think all the other people were men, but I have no idea whose the house was.
      • It seemed remarkably easy for us to pull down the house, especially because it looked like it didn't rip or anything from foundations or anything. Perhaps this ease of pulling it down would have been a good cue for a RC.
      • Despite mentioning transistors, I don't actually remember seeing any circuit boards inside the instrument.

      Updated 09-16-2018 at 11:52 AM by 95293 (typo)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    15. xxxiii.

      by , 09-06-2018 at 11:47 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up at around 8:30 with the normal alarm but still fell asleep and woke up again about 2 hours later. Some non-lucid dream fragments from both awakenings persisted.



      Fragment:
      I was in a mountainous area, and there was a town or something. There were rocky overhangs and the landscape looked like something I'd only see in games in general; the stone was mostly all like limestone, which reminds me now of an area in Dark Souls III. It was a bright and clear day.

      I remember fighting some sort of blue dragon, not unlike some of the Rathians in Monster Hunter. It got tired or was scared off and flew away eventually.

      Fragment:
      I remember briefly a subway train station, similar to the last one I've dreamt of, but in no particular way other than how it felt; the lighting was perhaps a bit dim, like the other one. Then a train was arriving and it looked full-ish on some carriages and there were plenty of people on the platform; but I chose to go to a carriage that was not as close to me and it was much emptier.

      The seats were in groups of 5, with their backs toward the windows. The seats were low and sort of cushioned. I was about to sit down when a woman on this row of seats said to me "could you please not sit down on these two", gesticulating at the particular seats; so I sat on the 2nd seat of the row, and she was sat on the 4th. She said something like "I'm sorry" and "... my assessment ...", the implication being it was some sort of benefits assessment. Somehow I knew she had children though they were certainly not here. I'm sure the train had set off at this point but I don't remember noises, come to think of it.

      Fragment:
      I was in some version or another of World of Warcraft and I was in a player group. The group consisted solely of my character, which name I don't remember reading, and another player/character whose character name was simply "Marshal". My character was a warrior, and the other player was another plate-wearing class, maybe a paladin; both characters were human.

      We entered an Arathi Basin battleground together, but a lot of it looked subtly different; I remember both me and the other guy had full grand marshal equipment (which is the highest PvP rank for the Alliance faction), and I had two of the great-swords. We went separate ways but I sort of patrolled on my mount around the central blacksmith (which in the dream was more like a lumber mill) and the gold mine.

      Oddly enough, despite being in a battleground, I don't remember seeing any enemies, though I know that our team was fighting some on the other side of the map.



      Some notes:
      • Subway train stations are one of my most obvious dreamsigns, but I always seem to miss them. Part of it is because I don't expect them to come up, even though they are fairly common, but another part of it is that whenever they do show up, I had not set any sort of intention to recognise them as a dream-sign. They are a dead giveaway of the dream-state these days because I don't use the subway where I live (because there isn't one).
      • I can't remember what the woman in the train looked like exactly; but she looked local to where I live. I remember feeling sorry or perhaps worried for her. Recently a friend of ours had an appointment for an assessment for benefits, so perhaps part of the context here is because of that.
      • I haven't played WoW in quite a while now, and truthfully I don't think I will play it much more in the future; but I played the older versions a lot when I was younger and my dreams about the game are invariably about some sort of nostalgic feeling of those old times.
      • I never attained the highest PvP rank in the classic game, but my eldest sibling nearly did.
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