DarkestDarkness

Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.

---

Dream:

I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

Dream Fragment:

At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

Dream Fragment:

Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.

---

Notes:
- Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
- The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
- The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.