DarkestDarkness

9th April 2022

9:30-9:45
Dream (disjointed):

I'm in a little town-ish area. Flat with a few green spaces. It seems clear or sunny but dim too somehow, like nearing the end of the day, though not colour-wise? I go towards a small building thing. It's supposed to be like a little kiosk but for McDonald's, these two things don't really seem related, almost. I pick up some order from a young woman, reminds me of A, H's sister. My order is in a big but strong brown paper bag and I check it over quickly.

It all seems fine and I have awareness of having ordered a few happy meals menus. I walk away from the building with the bag, towards some stone stairs bit. Here, there's some dream-generated or popular character, and sibling T. They're sitting and we are about to start getting things out of the bag so we can eat here, but I suggest we should go up the steps instead and eat at one of the white tables up there. We go to the tables and they sit down. I open the bag now and get everything out. However, there's only 1 menu, which T takes.

I feel confused, and then annoyed, asking him why he didn't order menus for everyone (implied to have been the point) and as he eats a bagel from his menu, he looks at me and does that smug shrug. I feel annoyed and go back down the steps and to that kiosk building. I get annoyed once more, as the woman has shut the shutters to the shop and is probably gone by now too. In my head, I think something about it being 3PM. I open the door to the building, and inside it looks like old home, the downstairs kitchen. There's a pressure cooker on top of the hob and I open it, finding nothing inside despite some expectation otherwise.

I feel generally disappointed and annoyed. (Rest of recall for this part was lost)

(recall gap, a late part of the dream?)

I'm in a street and sitting down, talking to an unshaven Irish man (strong accent). He's a train conductor, and I'm being informally interviewed to determine whether I'm a suitable passenger for the city train he drives. I see the train in the background, we're sort of on a platform for it and there are people waiting inside the train. The Irish man is Catholic and as he's smoking a cigarette, he remarks something like "... thank God I don't follow it all to the letter."

I mention my own Catholic upbringing and he seems to quietly appreciate this. When he asks about my general behaviour, I also tell him I won't be misbehaving or loud or anything like that, and that I tend to be quiet and out of the way in general. After a bit more talking and some other questions I can't recall, he then seems satisfied with me and I can now be a passenger on his trains. I get in and there's something about seat assignment that should be happening, but because I'm new there is no seat assigned to me yet. Then, I have some discussion with the driver about this, while the train goes into a subterranean area.

He says something about refitting or remodelling the train in a few stops/minutes. Some man gets annoyed with the driver as he overhears this. The man says that he's late as is and can't wait that long. Then, something about disembarking with most other passengers. The conductor is down on the floor?

(recall gap, unknown chronology)

Something about a cyber man and cyber woman. They have a discussion about some memory. A third and younger cyber man checks his own memory for the event in question and confirms witnessing the details as relayed by the older man. The woman was lying, apparently. It was something about a loom of wires, part of an arm, and how it had been lifted. (?)

(recall gap, unknown time again)

Walking in a town, overcast. My hands feel very noticeably calloused and/or rough and I think to myself that it's the tenth day or something. I think that they're almost done forming the needed callus.

16th April 2021

Dream:

I am in someone else's lucid dream. It's someone I used to know, maybe L's friend, J? Not quite, but there's another friend too. It looks a bit like a small church, lots of dark stain wood. I think there's a greater proportion of wood than there is stone, I seem to recall.

Anyway, since I'm not actually lucid myself, I think about testing a theory. I think of asking my friend to give me moderator privileges as if this was a Minecraft server. But I am unable to catch up to ask him, as he moves around. So I end up trying commands by myself, like the teleport-jump to where I'm looking. The commands sort of work. Although I am unsure of how to even do this, somehow, I intuitively bind the commands to my mind or something, so no typing is required.

But I'm not lucid and yet I am reminded by all of this about a technique I read here on DV a couple of days ago. Before I try a teleport-jump or a through command, I spend a couple of seconds visualising the result a bit, but really it's too faint. It does help my non-lucid self use these commands though.

I remember this part of the dream was highly detailed but I can't recall any further about it now. Transition?

I'm in a restaurant with my family. We're leaving soon? The place seems to be mixed with old home or something. But I need to go to the bathroom. It doesn't seem especially clean in here. I try the stall, as I have privacy concerns and as I'm about to pull my pants down, I realise that there's no toilet at all in the stall, just a tiny plastic bin. Outside the stall, in the bathroom, there are only wall urinals. I exit the stall and entering the bathroom is a black woman, she has curly hair, a somewhat round but well defined face, she's about my height and probably a similar age.

I tell her I wouldn't bother with the bathroom at all, and just wait until home. She seems disappointed by this. I walk out of the bathroom.

(recall gap)

Then I'm at my old home, but think to myself that I'm not actually there or something. (pre-lucid thought about real location?) There's just some feeling, anyway.

Me and the rest of the family are getting ready for something? It's early morning I think. Mom says dad needs some apples and I tell her I can go get them (since I feel ready anyway) and I shout for dad, asking what kind he wants. I don't remember hearing a reply back. Eventually I think about just teleporting to outside the store below. But something stops me and it just doesn't work. I remember being in my old room and seeing outside, standing from the doorway to the room. Light seems consistent with early-ish morning.

Some other sequence. I'm in some place in South America. Swamps or marshes. A flatbed ship carrying containers is on the water but there are some buildings around, sort of in an Arabic style more than a local one. I try to get on board the ship and then look for some circuit board chips? Some interactions with someone else, possibly an old friend.

Another bit, possibly the earliest sequence in the dream. A visual and physical representation of the old art website? Very vague recall of this bit. Looks sort of like a disco club, with certain elements like the web banner physically represented as a room backdrop. Someone talks to me about the computing efficiency of the VFXs being used. Vague recall of thoughts about how much I charge for commissions, feeling like it's not enough.

---

Notes:
- I was not actually "lucid" at any point throughout this dream. My dream self was somehow partly aware of this by the implied context of the dream and with the commands thing tried to devise a way of having abilities more akin to what's possible when actually lucid.

- There are a few things here that challenge recent conscious thoughts, namely; my commission prices, my initial thoughts about the technique linked in the entry and some recent thoughts on shared dreaming. Basically the dream presented opposites for all of these things, I don't think necessarily for me to accept them but to generally think about them further.

- Using the commands to have lucid-like abilities in the dream felt like a pretty clever idea at the time, especially since it partially worked.

- Curiously, the church location may have been brought on by the fact that I have spent a fair bit of time with H both in real churches and in church-like buildings he's built in Minecraft.

6th February 2021

Dream:

Outside, daytime. In a town that's a mix of several towns from my native country, though I can't think exactly which ones. They're probably ones I've passed through over the years. There's a large open area in front of some apartment buildings.

There's something going on in town about an environmentalist group or some kind of rally. They get told to clear off eventually, despite the fact that they'd actually been given permission to use a large area of the square. They were not being dispersed, it was more like a concert was supposed to take place next and they were getting in the way?

I'm with someone, a man, an associate of some kind.

The dream cuts to a restaurant place. The man is with me and we're meeting up with a woman who's our friend. We sit at a table by a wall, or a corner. It feels tight everywhere in the restaurant and there isn't much personal room, even when we're sat at the table. It's one of those tables that has a round sofa thing.

We discuss what had been going on at the square/plaza area.

The dream implies we ate and cuts to us being in the restaurant kitchen, cleaning dishes because we had no money to pay with. This bit has cold light, but feels kind of dark too.

When we're done cleaning the dishes, we don't put them away and just leave them to dry. We go through a service corridor of sorts and at the end is a door to the outside. This stretch of corridor resembles a stretched out version of the hall of where I live now. I open the door?

Mom and dad appear. It's night time outside, they're here to pick us up. Dream cuts to an urbanised area, like A, but flatter.

Some recall is missing; there's some kind of transition or implied setting. There's a Mech Commander context now and I am commanding the red faction. I have a mission to defend a base I'm in. My units start to be overwhelmed and I don't do too well in managing everything, but eventually I notice I actually have unlimited amounts of certain mechs, warriors and equipment units. I try to use this to my advantage but feel it may be too late?

Something about sending an airship of sorts to drop a large bomb, but not on the enemy?

20th November 2020

Fragment:

In a place like a restaurant or something. Someone was talking to me and they were telling me how "mussels are the tastiest thing there is" or something. I remember thinking of, or seeing some clams and thinking that besides the meat within, there would be pearls of value or something.

---

Notes:

- I remembered this fragment much later in the day while in a church. A stained glass I was looking towards for a while had pearls as a small detail in places and this triggered some vague visual recall of the dream.

- I remember after the dream and also after recalling this fragment, I did feel some sort of craving for the food in question; there was some sort of taste in the dream, it was meaty but I can't recall any more detail than that. I have never found this type food appealing before, but I have been curious about it, having possibly thought about it again recently.
-- My family, and most people where I'm from, do enjoy this type of food, but I have never wanted to taste it. Part of me thinks it can't be that different from snails and so I wonder now about similarities.

- It's possible that in the dream I thought about the pearls being a metaphor of some sort; when the recall came to me, this was my first feeling about them. I don't remember the pearls visually. Later on in the day I had disassociated thoughts about how it might be possible to modify the clams to create different pearls, or objects.

- Can't recall my reaction to being told that mussels are supposedly so tasty.

I thought I was missing a dream... It seems I skipped an older DJ entry by accident...

12th August 2020

8:30

Dream:

(points) Something about furry art. A kitchen, on-board a boat. Fancied two girls who were aboard. They were flirty? But they didn't know about one another.

I was in some open restaurant area. I wanted soup from some famous female cook? I remember running in my home town. It was busy. I saw a motorised unicycle of some kind with a white paint job; I thought it looked kind of cool and I thought about how someday it would look out of place, outdated and silly. It was night time and I had to sprint my best (didn't feel dream slowness too much) to get to a harbour that was where the exit ramp out of town should be. From there, this cruise ship was leaving and I knew this because of its horn which I heard while running. I didn't want to miss it.

I got to the loading ramp just as it was leaving and made a jump for it. It was a bare miss from my mark, plunging into water and grabbing onto a rear steering fin.

From there I thought of calling someone (JC?, but the character or my old friend?) on the ship to bring me a rope. Then thought of just using a teleport command instead. No, instead I decided I could do this by myself and balanced on top of the steering fin and despite the water and speed, jumped forward and got on the deck.

I got in through some doorway, watching my head. Passing thought of "so what if I fancy both of them?". I go down some steep metal or wood steps and I see her, one of these girls whom I apparently fancied. She was taking off some clothes in order to get changed. She had red briefs, a blood red colour.

I remember we both smiled at each other but didn't speak. I had the awareness of having a glazed clay bowl in my hand and wanting some soup. There was a kitchen ahead through another bulkhead doorway. When I got inside the kitchen, there were two aggressive dream characters sort of accosting me. I forget who they were or looked like, but they were like pirates?

Insistently I told them I would pay them to be left alone while I was in here. They thought I had nothing of value (mocked me?) and I remember scrounging through my pocket. Dozens of coins, I shove them at the two "pirates", the coins aren't nearly as valuable as I'd first expected however. I keep looking through my pockets. A stone? No, an ore nugget of sorts. It feels rough and I give it to them. It was a nugget of gold, but in reality the feel of it was more like a piece of pyrite ore like one I have in waking life.

But I still decided this wasn't enough and somehow gave them something else but I don't remember what it was. They are now dumbfounded and agree to my terms now. Their aggression goes away, pretty much, and now I walk around the kitchen and see a very orange-y styled chest freezer, with pictures of garfield on it. I assume this is some BL ice cream thing A started.

I remember going near a counter at the end of a queue bit, effectively bypassing said queue. But I felt as though I'd earned it with my payments to the "pirates". I still want that soup, but I can't or don't manage to find any?

The next thing I remember, a black chef is getting fired and complaining that he was in a good mood and the head chef ruined it all and so on. I remember very shortly after, reading a review online that this chef left about the restaurant, saying very poor things about the crew or something. I feel that it's in bad taste (but feel some sympathy). Then I'm in an upper deck. Mix of a train and airplane aisle? Windows to the outside. It's day-time and some people are sitting in this cabin-like bit by the windows. A white girl says "I was pinning (some artist)", referring to how she was subscribing to this artist on some platform called "pin.it"?

We're talking about furry artists, apparently. She mentions she feels embarrassed for talking about it out loud. A big black man sitting next to her, gives her some reassurance and tells her he actually had some interest in that same artist too.

I forget what else happened, a lot of detail is absent from this DJ entry overall but I had a lot more recall of the dream initially.

Some other bit about a base, partially in space? With technical-looking game block tiles and an ancient Egyptian ruin? Some overlap with the pirates somehow...

---

Original note:

- On waking I could smell the curry I'd left on a timer to start cooking at 7AM. The cookery related part of the dream may well have stemmed from that and from all the preparation I'd done for it last night. I also made a dessert, leaving the curry, the main course, to effectively cook overnight. In the dream, I was looking for a soup, which to me is traditionally a starting course.

Added notes:

- Quite likely the search for the soup was both a metaphor and a more literal desire at the same time. In the literal sense, a true full meal, to me, should include a starter such as a small soup, a main course, with meat or fish, and a dessert course, such as a sweet pudding of some kind and the meal we would be having the day of the dream would be missing this starter course. In the less literal sense, this food-related dream-plot goes back to old roots and to what I was used to having at meal times for a large part of my early life, so it seems somewhat nostalgic in a sense. I could extrapolate more meaning from this but these are the two most immediately relevant meanings to me.

- The more carnal aspects about relationships on this dream maybe just came about as a coincidence with the food plot, since food and sex are supposedly pretty close in the brain, that's what makes sense in my mind anyway. But the two girls were also distinct in some way that I can't remember anymore (one may have been more open and the other more reserved and other such dualities?), so in the more metaphorical sense they are probably just relating directly to some aspects of myself, not to mention that at the time I was working on developing two characters that had a similar nature of duality between them.

25th July 2020

Fragment:

In some Minecraft-like world with H. There was a dragon of some kind that kept coming back and harassing us. We were at some coastal area and there was a passive (did I mean peaceful?) moment during which there were loads of weapons to select from.

26th July 2020 (DFLN thread)

Fragment:

Voxels, some volcanic area. Solid magma blocks and generally some dark blocks. There was a sci-fi base.

Fragment:

Dream where I was eating cheese, I think in the kitchen. Vague memory of getting it out and cutting it.

Fragment:

Micro-dream after having been awake for a bit and then dozing off. Was listening to the cathedral's bells and then I saw a scene about a couple. I remember there was a part where they were chasing after each other in a playful manner and then they were going into a bedroom. I seem to recall some negative thing to this too?

27th July 2020 (DFLN thread)

Fragment:

HD and her partner D, at the end of the dream in some world that looked like it was out of Spore. Lots of weird bug-like creatures. (Nice, very descriptive...)

HD is talking from a distance by voice? She's a mix of hershelf and S, my sibling's partner. H is almost giving HD a headache somehow. The dream had started with Minecraft somehow and it was a very fractured world. People from O's server were also there, as was my middle sibling.

Dream:

Don't recall the start of the dream but I was in a restaurant place with mom. It was like a Chinese buffet place, but not quite. I was serving myself, mom had just finished doing so. I remember seeing her across the way, on the other side of the buffet area. I got some breaded chicken thing and then wanted a bun, but for some reason I reached across the other side for one, carefully so as to not dip myself into any food. But I could have just gone around and I sort of realised this. Then I remember going to the table where mom was sat.

There was a vacant seat to her right and I sat there. For some reason I was shorter or completely slouched now, so I couldn't reach my food properly. To my right was an Asian lady (Korean?) and she started picking on me for some reason. I remember telling her she was being mean and even went so far as to say that she was the meanest lady I'd ever met, as she kept continuously harassing me. After struggling with the food for a while I somehow managed to sit upright and felt much taller than before. I also thought I would apologise for my own behaviour.

I told the lady she couldn't possibly the meanest person ever. I said that she had been a bit mean but not that much. We sort of reconciled.

(recall gap or separate dream? have a feeling the sequences were part of the same here)

Somewhere else. Fragmented. I was in a cave that was connecting to a (currently) underground and high-tech moving fortress belonging to "my" faction. I was going outside to do some scouting of a target enemy base nearby. It was a tall Protoss-like spire or tower, in the midst of a low flat area surrounded by cliffs. Come to think of it, reminds me of Howling Fjord from WLK.

I remember getting back in the fortress and reporting my findings. Someone was "digistructing" something, to seal the entrance better. The entry point was a round sliding door, mechanical and heavy. This fortress' style reminded me of Grineer style.

Some very early part of this there was this very cheesily painted bomber, fully patterned with a stylised USA flag pattern; it dropped some hooks for me and a squad to grab onto and pull us up, as it dropped a nuke at the same time. I think it eventually took us near the fortress.

---

Must remember to tag this later.

Some fragments from last night.

---

Fragment:

I was in some kind of starship, not unlike one from Star Trek but there was a mixed feel from several space stuff, including a bit from Starpoint Gemini. I was captaining the ship and we were headed straight for a blue-ish planet, covered mostly by water than anything else. I could see the system's star just left of where the planet was, much further away.

Some four or five other green-coloured ships appeared, intercepting and following us closely. I suggested to an officer to simply activate the cloaking device ability and could see in a third-person view from outside the ship as the field enveloped it and the other ships disbanded in separate directions. (Expectable AI behaviour if it were a game)

As we got very close to the planet, I could see everything in a sort of cinematic view and then the ship started getting close to the ground to land somewhere but for whatever reason it had to be at an airport, so the ship kept making really wide loops closing in and away from the planet surface.

Every time we got close, I could see on some disembodied interface some information about the local surface structures. I did see a fair few airports, but many of which had tractors lining up vegetables in the runways. This annoyed me slightly.

There is a transition and I am now on my own at some sort of Japanese-looking castle. It's night-time but I can see the moon and everything looks bright and blue-ish. There are some sort of holographic security features. (This part of the dream vaguely reminded me of Starbound)

Fragment:

Just a small part of some other dream, I was in a town with some friends, not sure who. We just came out of a restaurant that was closing for the night and then two of us went one way, and I wondered where the third member was. I asked my friend, who only vaguely suggested the other might have gone looking for something.

I remember wandering streets, there was a lot of light, from glowing signs and lampposts. I could see people sitting at cafes and so on.

At some point we went into some shop and I wondered again about the missing friend. The friend that was with me was fascinated and excited by rediscovering some sort of cardboard packed plastic ketchup sachets.

The next bit I remember, stuck in some sort of traffic at a four-way junction, with three lanes on each direction.

---

Side notes:

• The first dream was a bit more unusual as I haven't had many dreams that take place in space, even though I've played a lot of games that do.
• The view-point changes were sort of frequent in the space dream and they felt a bit like they were made through a keyboard I couldn't quite feel. I suppose this sensation is quite similar to when I'm actually playing or writing something, where the keyboard sort of just becomes an extension of awareness, rather than existing as a physical obstacle, in a sense.
• Most of these dream fragments I am getting lately are written quite a lot later from when I had the dreams, so it's a sign that recall is improving somewhat and I am also noticing more pre-lucid thoughts at a sort of "gut feeling" level, where I am not expressly thinking in spoken words but rather getting feelings or intuition about the dreams' content.

Non-dream stuff - Woke up at around 8, not recalling any dreams apart from a very vague visual fragment, lost it and decided to sleep more, waking up again around 9 recalling a single long-ish non-lucid.

---

Dream:
Me and my partner (H) arrived by car at some pizza restaurant; I remember H backed up to park near the building, but he was parking towards some plastic tables and chairs. He was aware of them and stopped a couple of inches away from them. There was a small bump noise and when I got out there was a waitress from the restaurant asking "is everything ok?" and I looked closely at the chairs/bumper and said to her it was all fine, and she accepted it.

It was night time... H was going to sit outside (unlikely) and I was going to order the pizzas, in the dream it was implied we usually did it the other way around; I walked through the entrance doorway, which had no door as I remember. It was a dimly lit restaurant (probably contextual residue that far too many bloody restaurants are now, I'd like to see what I'm eating) and I walked towards the counter to make our order.

There was a guy at the counter and a waitress on my side and she said she'd take my order; she looked happy and not just for the job, she just seemed happy. I said I wanted two pizzas, one would be the bacon and cheese melt or something (for my partner) and she said "oh I'm sorry but that will be double because of (?)"; she then showed me a menu trying to explain why, because in the dream memory this was implied to be new at the restaurant. She explained they were changing how some pricings worked and that all the outside was going to be reworked by AI over the next few days. We concluded the pizza I was ordering would still be the same price (9 something came into my head in the dream but no figures were spoken). She said OK and I said the next pizza would be with "some (?), cheese and some onion", thinking that I would like something salad-y with or on it. As if she knew exactly what I was thinking, she asked if I wanted some rocket lettuce or something but she said that I couldn't have any because they were out, so very oddly the choices instead of that were some sort of beetroots or cubes of lard... The stuff was all shown to me in the counter, which had become one of those with glass and the food in it (like at ice cream shops and sandwich bars).

I said it was fine and thanked her and all the while we were talking she kept getting distracted by her co-workers. One of the other guys was some German guy that came from Berlin on a plane which caught fire mid-flight and landed here. They even had some pictures on a wall of the survivors? Whatever the photos were, they made me accept the story.

Then I remembered to ask "oh, do I pay now or after?" and she said "uh, whichever". I said I'd pay now. But as I did, lots of people started entering the (previously) quiet restaurant. They sat at every possible table, as if on cue for something to happen. The waitress faced the counter and started talking to the guy over the counter I think.

I waited, starting to be a little annoyed by the fact it had taken this long to do the order (it felt like a long time). I looked around and I can't remember what happened (something did) but all of a sudden everyone was singing roughly and half were clapping in a slow rhythm. I joined in the clapping and then shortly after, two people started chasing each other and the clapping stopped a moment after, but then they stopped chasing each other and sat back down.

As all the clapping and clamour happened, more people were entering the restaurant, including H, who I could see clearly from a distance, head illuminated by a spotlight as he came in.

At the same time, the waitress next to me dropped all her clothes. I was still waiting to pay, I initially glanced at her naked body but then just looked over the counter, wondering when I was going to be able to just pay for the order; I also automatically performed a reality check with my left hand after she got naked. But unfortunately I concluded the amount of fingers to be correct and I didn't remember to test the solidness of the reality. I felt like I was right in the centre of view (more than the naked girl) and felt awkward doing my RC there. Nobody in the restaurant was shocked (I wasn't either) but she started laughing and saying something to someone on a table near me; she was facing the counter the whole time, so most of the restaurant would only see her backside, as I was to her right, and to her left was a wall. Something about the "AI works" came up again at some point.

I remember being outside again, and some sort of game-like thing happening (regarding organising of the outside layout with AI) but I can't remember in detail.

The dream ended soon after. I think I still have the lingering feeling of being annoyed by not being able to simply pay.

Fragment
I remembered a small fragment while writing the long dream, something about H wanting to buy or take a car overseas. I remember a weird wooden house place with triangle glass windows and very strange layouts. It was day.

---

Quite tired so I'll leave notes for now.

---

Scoring thus far:
+ Previous score: 42.5

+ This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 7.5
++ Recall a non-lucid fragment: 0.5
++ Recall a non-lucid dream: 1.0
++ Perform a reality check: 5.0
++ Buy/Purchase something: 1.0

= Total score thus far: 50.0