• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cccii. Ice asteroid field, Strange ravine in Minecraft

      by , 07-15-2021 at 06:17 PM
      13th July 2021

      Fragment:

      In space, Freelancer setting. I'm in a beautiful looking system, but fairly simple and generic. One white star? An ice asteroid field in the distance which I think I'm approaching. I'm with someone else, who's in a different ship, maybe T? Or an NPC like Juni. We're sneaking or getting away from something and we're taking unmapped/unknown travel routes, the type pirates and bounty hunters and freelancers use. This dream might have been from when my alarm went off, I don't remember resetting it.

      Fragment:

      Some interactions with other people. There's a context of survival and maybe one of servitude too (slavery? maybe not though). Most of this dream takes place in an indoors setting and it's daytime outside. There's an overcast characteristic to lighting. I recall some bit where I'm helping someone, they pass me a long-ish cardboard box which doesn't look so strong. As I take hold of it, it's bottom half sort of drops off from the upper lid section. A glass or metal thing drops out, it sounds like glass smashing.

      It's an electron valve or something? But I don't remember looking. The person that was passing me the box, a lady, gets upset with me, but we quickly get over it and we do something else.

      (recall gap?)

      Now I'm on Minecraft. I've just spawned in a new world. It's an unusual ravine locale. I am near and sort of under a 5x5 pillar and then I look around and up. The pillar goes up, a hundred or so blocks, as do other similar ones in the ravine area. Over this pillar is a railroad track laid on top of oak planks going from one side of the chasm to the other.

      The natural stone pillar has decorative stone bricks at the corners in a semi-random fashion and the other pillars are similar. The chasm or ravine is longer than it is wide but seems to mostly be rectangular. I don't recall noticing any ore at all. For some reason, I just fly up and look around. On the rail track, minecarts are going around. They have loot chests on them and I quickly inspect contents as they go past. They seem reasonably OK.

      I think there's another track that runs carts in the opposite direction, just nearby. To either end of the chasm, in terms of longitude, there are these sort of old West mineshaft entrances, which half look like a barn or house. They are built into the natural rock walls. My dream knowledge of the area makes it feel like a classic DOOM map, like actually behind the stone walls there's nothing, as if they are just set dressing.

      I go into one of these mine entrances and it has more loot chests which I inspect. I hear zombies nearby, but ignore them. Then I feel like I hear our doorbell but I start going into a dark stairwell made with oak plank stair blocks. On some level I start to question the reality of this and wake up and ask H if the doorbell had really rang, but no.



      Notes:

      - The Freelancer dream was nice even if a lot of recall went. I always enjoy those dreams because of the way space always looks more realistic than the game did but it still looks more fantastic than space would actually look like anyway. The system was a bit like some Sigma or Tau systems but "felt" closer to core systems.
      -- The dream plot was a generic story/campaign plot, as far as I can recall. I don't recall what my ship was like.

      - I think I haven't had lucid thoughts very much until that dream where the doorbell noise manifested. Notably, the dream entry that follows for the 15th also had a lucidity cue.

      - I would like to think about the symbolism of situation surrounding the smashing object in the second fragment but a bit too tired to think about it, hopefully come back to it at some point.
    2. cclxxxix. Outland mining, moody friend, desert island and space dock

      by , 06-24-2021 at 08:24 PM
      24th June 2021

      Some in-line notes, some side notes.

      Dream (fragmented):

      Playing as a level seventy human warrior, protection spec by the looks of the gear.

      I'm in some kind of life-like place with rooms, but on a flying mount and mining ores. There are Legion enemies around as well as general Legion stuff. I think about how something looks wrong, not as how I remember it (according to a dreaming false memory).

      (recall gap)

      I'm flying around Helfire doing ore mining, mostly getting Fel Iron but some Khorium and other novel gem ores, coloured after the type of gem they're supposed to be. Oddly, I can't mine Adamantite at all. I manage to avoid fights with horde players by flying to ore locations in a random pattern, helped by having the fastest mount, some kind of gladiator's nether drake by the looks of it, not too different from whatever I was using before.

      I go to parts of Helfire that don't actually exist. One such place is a floating rock isle, high above and to the south east of the peninsula. There are some unremarkable chests here, they give me a few silver coins, something like twenty to fourty as well as random crappy items. They feel worth getting since nobody else is after them and this area seems to have little interest. Some people, ghosts, come out of some ruins on the south part of the island, some two/three hundred yards away. I forget who the ghosts are or what they say, but it's a mom and a dad and their pre-teen daughter. Despite a life-like quality to them, they still seem game-like.

      Then I fly away to the north from here, to an area that's east or north east of the peninsula; it's more at the same height level as the general landscape and not quite so fragmented as the other island. It's the leftovers of some kind of world tree thing that some night elves tried making. There are some NPCs here that provide alternate introductory quests for people entering Outland.

      (recall gap)

      I see from my friend's list that HW is on his priest. He's only sixty and this seems normal to me. I remember physically being in a place like a regular room with him. I suggest that he could go level up. It seems he's annoyed, he was trying to do tower captures in EPL but I can't figure out why and I don't ask. This room has windows and light comes in from outside, but it feels dark and dingy even so. There's an off-orange tint?

      There's some kind of IKEA shelf thing. There's hi-fi on top of it. I adjust the top unit because I'm concerned about it dropping off, it's just barely bigger than the shelf's surface area. In the dream this hi-fi belongs to HW but also seems to be his PC or something.

      (recall gap)

      Later on I'm on some kind of desert island. It's sunny and grassy and wild, a little bit of rolling hills. I have an inventory with some food but need to get wood break some rocks to make better tools with. Vague recall of beating on a rock with some tiny drum sticks, amused by the rhythmic noise. (Not realising that I couldn't have performed this action in waking life since I have no experience of it)

      This is after some bit where I had been on the island and I'd finished my "run" of it. This bit now was like a new game or a reset.

      (recall gap)

      A different sequence about space ships and docking into a large and complex vertical structure (in space?) with hundreds of individual hangars for sort of fighter-sized ships. The hangars have blue energy fields at the entrances. Inside there look to be full amenities (not unlike a Freelancer equipment shop?).

      I think to myself it's amazing I get assigned to dock on landing pad one, when there are literal hundreds of them. I am here with someone else, maybe HW, but whoever it was didn't want me near them. I find this annoying, since the dock assignment was automatic, as was the docking procedure, so I couldn't override to get closer to them (and help them feel better?).



      Notes:

      - There are some less common dream elements to this dream, for one thing it was fairly consistent about Helfire's look and layout. On the other hand, the room I met HW in seemed like it could actually be his flat room, though the IKEA shelf and the hi-fi stuff seemed like ours; associative link between IKEA and HW, since both are from Sweden?

      - The bit in space was a mix-mash of most of the space themes that have made impressions on me, like Homeworld, Freelancer, Elite Dangerous and a few others. The "vertical" bit may have been brought about by what I heard in the audio documentary of the fourth Alien film, which at the time had made me think about the Hiigaran mothership.
      -- It's a shame I haven't really had any dreams that I can recall that are more directly around Alien themes and WY.

      - Perhaps the reason I couldn't mine Adamantite (red skill level) was because I generally think of Adamantium-related materials to be very top end, although in the game Khorium would be the top end material.

      - The irony of me being 70 and HW being 60 on his character is that this is a role reversal, where I'm trying to include him by saying it would be a good idea for him to level up.

      - HW seemed moody, annoyed or upset, in the dream. I think I couldn't understand why and wanted him to feel better.
    3. cclx. To the three distant stars, Drawings on the bed, Hail

      by , 05-05-2021 at 01:56 AM
      27th April 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about flying through space. There's something like DSP to this dream. I am checking out a planet, but as I approach it, I realise with some surprise that it's one of the Deuteria systems I'd already built on (in the dream). I then set course for a greatly distant star system? In the galaxy map, I can see this system has three stars.

      I arrive there pretty quickly despite the distance. The dream is not fully like DSP and the three stars are in odd placements around the system, sort of hiding within tight clusters of planets. There's an interesting play of light and ambience as a result.

      Fragment:

      I'm in the context of old home but the dream location details are vague now. I remember being in something like my room(?) but the house layout feels different and on a bed or a table there's a number of my drawings. Some are explicit but I don't try to tidy it up. Something about being called through to another room, by dad?

      In the dream, there's an implied sense that my parents know about the type of things I draw sometimes. I feel some discomfort about it but in the dream it's more like the general discomfort or embarrassment from parents trying to be a part of things you don't necessarily want them to be a part of.

      Something about going to meet up with L?

      (I left recall too long and allowed myself to be distracted)

      Fragment:

      In the van/car and it's overcast; hail is falling.



      Notes:

      - Some days later, there was hail, but I don't remember looking at the forecasts.

      - L is the only person in the family who knows that I draw explicit artwork now and then.
      -- Part of that dream certainly relates to my feeling of isolation from being unable to discuss the subject very openly with most people.

      Updated 05-05-2021 at 02:09 AM by 95293

      Categories
      side notes , non-lucid , dream fragment
    4. ccxlviii. Space crash and bounce

      by , 04-10-2021 at 12:22 PM
      10th April 2021

      Fragment:


      I'm in space, in a ship. It feels like a mix of Elite, Rebel Galaxy and Starpoint Gemini. Space is mostly realistic though, black with stars, no fancy nebulae or anything like that. I remember at one point there was something about overriding speed safeties and using a manual control to improve time taken getting somewhere.

      I'm cruising at a high warp speed, not sure how fast, but fairly fast as I come toward the surface of some astral object, I become unable to slow down enough and bounce off the surface. On an interface I see I lost about 75% integrity. There are local armed defence systems and I re-engage a warp speed to get away from here.

      I remember interacting with someone, a friend or family maybe?

      There was a lot more to this dream but I left it too long and having made no initial notes, rest of recall is lost.
    5. ccxlvii. Space combat, Swamp trials

      by , 04-08-2021 at 11:14 AM
      8th April 2021

      Scraps:

      (chronology unknown)

      I'm in a ship in space. There's a Freelancer feel to things but things look more realistic. I'm flying with two escorts through some kind of debris field and when we encounter some hostiles I shoot one of my wingmen by accident at one point. My ship has enough firepower that it's pretty much a one-shot kill and a message comes up and tells me I have failed the mission. I can't understand it because the wingmen were not marked as mission-critical.

      I click retry or something but then I'm doing different things. Vague recall of a more normal Freelancer sequence where I'm in an Eagle and using Salamanca weapons. Intense manoeuvring.

      Some other sequence. Also in a game of some kind? Doing some kind of time-trial thing and there's a score multiplier that goes up to x30. It works like the DOOM arcade trials in a sense but the game itself is a mix of RoR2 and something else, having a more crude feel to it. There's a swampy area I go through and maybe some kind of ancient temple. The ambience seems a bit grungy and not particularly bright.

      Another thing, relating to the space bit. I am in some kind of station, it's advanced. There's a lot of green and black and I think there are many enemies. My relative power level to theirs is massively superior but it still takes a little bit of time to clear enemies. I'm trying to get to an access or lift perhaps. The area has a very open-design kind of look and is like some kind of massive sci-fi raid dungeon.
    6. ccxii. Pre-sleep encounter with Data at the Dream Bridge

      by , 01-17-2021 at 11:59 AM
      17th January 2021

      In bed, at about 3 AM whilst trying to fall asleep. During the whole thing I noticed my heart rate was higher than it would normally be at rest. Dialogue as close to original as I can recall and notes are in-line and unbracketed.


      Not a dream and conscious with my eyes closed:


      I start to think about wanting to be lucid and then wanting to look for the black lizard.

      I hear the voice of Data and find myself seeing I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise, the one that's his contemporary. It's a bit clear at first visually. I have encountered Data other times in my head recently. For some reason he seems to encourage my conscious control and mastery of the sub-conscious and wishes to serve me.

      Data: "Hello, may I call you captain?"

      Me: "Hello. Yes, you may."

      Data: "Will you accompany me to the turbolift sir?"

      Me: "Yes, why?"

      I find my own voice comes out naturally as if it was Picard's; I eventually try to alter this but with little success. Whenever Data speaks, half of it feels like it's being controlled by me, resulting in strange dialogue, but otherwise it feels detached from my ego.

      Data: "I'd like to show you to the bridge; the battle bridge; no, the dream bridge."

      Me: "The dream bridge?"

      The visuals are muddy and too much like as seen in the show for my liking and I try to taste the walls, I try to feel where I'm walking and touching the railings and so on. It doesn't improve the visuals, but there is a feel of being in the place. We get on the turbolift and then find ourselves on a similar version of the bridge we were just in but it has a different feel. I see the large screen and the unmanned bridge.

      Data: "Yes sir. The dream bridge will allow you dream control if you so desire."

      Me: "How does it work?"

      Data: "It allows you to scroll; view, pre-view, select, choose and so on. As in your childhood sir, it works the same way."

      I understand what Data is referring to as being my pre-sleep lucid experiences from when I was much younger but this is somewhat different, more elaborate. I have an intuitive feel of how it's going to work but don't fully understand and the unclear visuals make it difficult to manipulate anything. I sit on a version of the captain's chair on this bridge. I feel the chair, just. There is some kind of controllable trackball I instinctively conjure on the right arm of the chair. I try to use and feel it for scrolling.

      Me: "If I have any further questions, I will call on you, that will do for now. Goodbye Mr. Data."

      Data says goodbye politely and I lose awareness of his presence as if he is completely gone. I try and use what's available to try to look through potential dreams. It doesn't work very well or as I expect. But one scene does pre-view better on the large screen, a M/M themed scene that plays itself out. But from there I don't know how to progress. I try to visualise more but it doesn't really work and visuals in general remained poor or unclear.

      The rest of the dialogue recall is too vague now, and I recall calling out to Data a couple of times and he would appear every single time I called him, and disappear whenever we said goodbye to each other. The computer would talk to me as well if I started a sentence by saying "Computer," but for the most part it was useless, probably because of how in the show I perceive the ship's computer as having no intelligence, a feature that Data, even as a character in my head, exhibits very well.

      I have found the experience to be somewhat odd; although a lizard character has tried to (aggressively) promote my ego's control and confidence, Data as a character is seemingly trying to promote control and mastery but in a very loose and passive way, allowing me to explore at my own pace for the most part and actively trying to teach me things. I think what has surprised me is the fact that these characters are not at the ego level but they are promoting it and basically siding with the ego.

      Data seemingly has loyalty for me as he would indeed for the captain on the Enterprise. For a couple of nights now I have thought about trying to remember what those pre-sleep experiences from my childhood felt like, so this whole thing has felt like a following of that and the theme may be because we've been watching the show again, although this was unexpected.

      The rest of the recall is lost but I was awake for a while longer after this.
    7. clxxx. Ship salvaging, Desert chase, Birth, Eclipsed Sun

      by , 10-17-2020 at 10:56 PM
      Some in-line notes.




      15th October 2020


      Fragment:

      In a space hangar of some sort. Hundreds of ships, they look like haulers from NMS. I have a contract or something and I have to salvage/loot some specific ships in the middle of all of these. There's some kind of dispute with someone else who's on the contract too?

      Earlier. Something about a woman my age. She shows someone, maybe one of my siblings, around her apartment. She offers them food and she has a mini-golf course inside the apartment. The person she's showing around doesn't seem interested, but they tell her that I might be interested, and this person goes out to find me or something.



      16th October 2020

      7:20

      Fragment:


      In a desert area. There are small towns. I was mostly here in some sort of observing role at first (but physically present?) but then I selected some kind of player faction like in an RTS game and I spawned in a pickup truck of some kind with a crew. We had to kill an American protagonist but we had to be careful. I needed to have resources gathered in order to build an anti-tank... tank.

      But instead, we just got involved in a chase where the protagonist person was in a humvee or something, chasing after an Arab guy. I tried to catch up to the Arab too but he was just too fast for all of us.

      Before all this, there was some other RTS segment. Defeated an enemy faction at the very last second before nearly being defeated myself. The objective was simply to destroy a core building in each others bases. Mix of Mech Commander and Supreme Commander. Remember dual-gun tanks like some of the T3 UEF.

      Earlier. Some bit in a town, being told about where I was born apparently. A black mother had given birth to me at a bench on a street and I remember a distinct visual effect like the retribution aura from WoW around me, which was apparently normal for people being born here but unusual everywhere else. But some old white man found me after the mother had seemingly abandoned me and he thought the aura was beautiful and he took me in, adoptively.

      10:00

      Fragment:


      A church. I forget most of it now but there was an upper area with a room meant for meditation and yoga. This church was built out of limestone I think, more like the churches around where I grew up, but the architectural style seemed more like those of where I live now.

      I remember there were notices on paper sheets taped to walls. There were lit candles and some other people were about.

      (gap or transition)

      In the same church still, but underground. A short cinematic view of this big white man, with a buzzcut-style hair and beard; he was working a forge with a metal forging spoon... ladle, thing. Like a cast iron cup. He would make gold items for the church, made from other gold items that were considered scrap, which he'd smelted before-hand.

      I remember then being physically there next to him and watching him work and H telling me that gold's melting point was 1142 or so, but I seemed to remember it being 1400, but then thought maybe that was aluminium.

      Fragment (DFLN):

      In my home town. Walking along a road or its pavement towards the roundabout. The church wasn't built yet. Buildings were in the wrong places. The sky was pitch black and it was night time, pretty much. But in the sky the sun was there, black and hollow, "an eclipse" I heard someone nearby comment. Looked like in DS3.

      (As I wrote the initial notes for this, I started my pc and noticed that the background image I made has an eclipsed sun exactly like the one from the dream.)

      I got to an area that looked like my old friend D's building. At this point I was still looking at the sky. The sun now looked like a cracked planet with lava flowing.
    8. clxxvii. Unlikely weapon stats, evading hostiles and travelling through space

      by , 10-10-2020 at 12:46 PM
      8th October 2020

      Fragment:


      In space, it looks like Freelancer, kind of. (Like most of my recent Freelancer themed dreams, the scale looked vast and more realistic)

      First I launched from a planet in a system completely filled by a nebula, like Omicron Beta, but not. The star looked dimmed through the clouds as it would in the actual game. I had a complex reputation standing with the factions so when some ships from a hostile faction appeared out of a trade lane, some friendlies immediately started turning red. Soon the whole system was after me and I tried to evade them in the usual ways. There was Rheinland navy in this system.

      I got to a wormhole? Then I'm in a different system. A Sigma type system. There was a large yellow star and some distant planets beyond it, as well as small nebulae and asteroid fields. The background itself was a light blue-grey nebula, but I don't remember the shape of it.

      I can't recall what my ship was like but I was using turret mode at some point to look around while cruising. I used a trade lane eventually but interrupted travel through it, halfway, and then veered off toward a darker area of the system behind an asteroid field. There were TIE fighters? I scanned the ships and saw the weapons were class 3, but somehow had a hull damage stat of around 3.4k. Their lasers were blue and the lasers themselves were classed as pulse-laser guns. I remember going toward a capital ship of some kind and landing on it.

      I got in a control room and remember taking some black gloves, they felt slightly heavy? Thoughts about Darth Vader and his armour. Then some crew landed on the capital ship and got to me and started attacking. An officer of some kind told me I only had a few seconds to live?

      Fragment:

      Reality mixed in with BL. A portal to my place was used or being opened. It was Ar, who had the form of that gecko pokemon, whatever its name is, with a mostly black and red colour scheme.

      Remember talking to him and telling him about the rooms in this in-game place. But I think I was wanting to move my base or something. At some other point some random furries appeared?



      Notes:
      - The unlikely weapon stats for a class 3 weapon could have been a good dream sign/dream indicator but I feel this came about from recently thinking about some of the bigger mods for the game, like TNG.
    9. clxxiv.

      by , 10-03-2020 at 01:50 AM
      2nd October 2020

      Scraps:

      (Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

      Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

      Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?
    10. clxiv. Freelancer, WoW, Deserts, Chocolate

      by , 09-14-2020 at 12:15 AM
      13th September 2020

      Fragment:

      Some segment where I was in a ship in space, like Freelancer. I think I'd bought a space station, but I can't remember how. Distant space looked dark, not as much as it should be in reality but there were only a few background nebulae.

      The station had a bit of a T shape and it spinned around its longest axis. I think when I took my ship to dock with the station, the whole station rotated toward my ship and stayed fixed in that orientation. But the station didn't look quite like one from Freelancer. It had more details and looked "realistic". I remember interacting with someone, either through a chat interface or voice chat.

      Fragment:

      I'm with Hnk in an open area, it looks like WoW but it's not any actual area from the game. We have a raid group with us and we're killing something like a dragon boss. I'm a warrior and I have T2 gear, I think. I'm alternating threat with another tank. I remember planting Alliance banners. When the boss finally dies, all the currently placed banners from either faction (there were some Horde ones too for some reason) change to the opposing factions'.

      The area looks a bit like Teldrassil. I remember after the boss is dead we run toward an arch of sorts, gnarled wood and stone?

      (recall gap)

      Something about Naxxramas, but it wasn't the "true" Naxxramas, which had some specific meaning in the dream. I talked to someone in the dream about this.

      Fragment:

      I'm in a completely flat desert (salt flats?). There are a couple of odd buildings, reminds me of BL in some way. Some dream characters, but recall faded too much.

      Fragment:


      Something about winning some kind of chocolate lottery or contest and as the prize I'd get chocolate for a lifetime. Some kind of chocolate bar. This tied in somehow with some kind of chocolate portals and rental servers?



      Notes:
      - A lot of the themes from these fragments are pretty well embedded in my head. Both games were games I played for a long time and between which I often alternated.
      - The chocolate lottery probably comes from having watched "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" but also just from an underlying desire to win a similar kind of lottery, but involving actual money.
      - The WoW dream is probably partly a reminder that I should talk to Hnk again, as I haven't remembered to do so for some time.
    11. cxxvi.

      by , 07-31-2020 at 03:06 PM
      31st May

      Several dreams, remember a few fragments of each.

      Dream Fragment:


      In one dream I was at my old home, in my bedroom. It was night time but the light was either on or quite bright from outside anyway. The balcony door was open, but blocked by closed curtains. The curtains that were there were the old ones from many years ago. They were white and a warm yellow. The colours inverted with one another on a bottom trim, which must be at least half a yard high or something.

      While I was noticing the pattern on the curtains, the wind was blowing sort of strongly but gently, making them sort of billow out, which in the dream reminded me of how a labcoat flows when someone is moving with one on. It was a sort of pre-lucid moment but it didn't last since I didn't actually end up questioning reality.

      I think then I walked across to where my desk used to be, but I don't really remember what happened next. Possibly it was a transition or something into another of the dream fragments I have.

      Dream Fragment:

      I was playing some space game, just starting out on it. I remember a main menu, and it looked a bit like the Starmade game, though it wasn't really like it either. But it had a desolate and empty feeling to it. I remember I was configuring a new world, but I don't really remember more than that.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some fragment of one of H's schematics. Obsessive thoughts about ohms and resistance. There were specific values in the dream but the memory is lost to me.

      Dream:

      Outside on a street. Looks like my native area or the city nearby. Though it is day time, it looks overcast and desaturated. I walk on some cobbled pavement, and I'm headed towards a store or shop? Maybe a barber or hairdresser, something about the windows it had made me feel or think this. The windows were not see-through, they had like full-sized vynil stickers on them, as a style thing primarily I think but also as a sort of advertising. I don't remember what images were displayed, but something relating to the human figure overall.

      There were other dreams but I don't remember them.
    12. cxiv.

      by , 04-17-2020 at 11:50 AM
      Mostly remember fragments of a single continuous dream.



      Dream fragment:

      Something about a subway. Remember trying to catch a train but it was only three carriages long instead of the expected six, so I and most of the people on the platform didn't manage to get on. I was there with someone, family? Aunt or something.

      Another part of this dream, remember being in the car (or train?) with mom and dad, possibly some sibling too. I remember seeing fires in the countryside that looked deliberate, as there were trees burning just under high-power transmission lines at a few different spots along the journey. I remember asking my parents if I should call the firemen, but they dismissed the idea that it was malicious and so eventually I ended up dismissing it too.

      Dream:


      I was playing some altered version of Freelancer with H. It looked more detailed and we were in a pretty dark system. There was a base with view to a planet nearby, Earth-like. We went to the base and docked there. The scale of everything was more accurate than in the actual game, though the interfaces all seemed to be in the same style as ever. I think at first we were a bit confused because we'd docked in different parts of the base, but I looked at the missions board and found some mission that had conflicting credit reward numbers. But it seemed like it would pay well anyway so I suggested we take this mission, something about a research vessel. I realised it might be challenging for a single player but should be fine with both of us doing the mission.

      After taking the mission we took off from the base and started exploring. A frigate class ship appeared and it looked hostile, though shouldn't have been because of the mission, but H decided to attack it; we dealt with it somehow and continued. We were headed the direction opposite from where the planet was. The space background was mostly black with stars, not usually the case in Freelancer. As we tried to find the mission objective we went past a big asteroid base, belonged to the Xenos. It was white (neutral) to us because of the mission as expected and their fighters were fighting some other faction I didn't make note of.

      Missing content or transition.

      I remember being in a cave? Water-filled. I was swimming, something happened just before this but not sure what. I was holding this pendant that had a sapphire encrusted in it. Despite being a cave with no natural light, I could see fairly well. I swam fast to try to find an opening with air, though my concern wasn't over myself, it was over the gem. I remember a lady told me I couldn't let it crack, which it would apparently do eventually if it stayed in the water. (I assumed because of pressure, despite the small depth)

      I found a sloping exit of the cave and got out of the water. The pendant and its gem were fine though I'd heard a few cracking noises while swimming. I was in a bigger cave system now. A kind of nexus of tunnels by the looks of it. I remember walking toward the leftmost tunnel from where I stood, it seemed to lead outside. As I got near an opening, there were people there. My cousin T? She was being held by this unknown man or something. I had three knives of different sizes and grabbed the biggest one, a curved blade, and stabbed the man in the lower right back, just under the ribs. He groaned I think but otherwise didn't seem that hurt. I tried something else; I wanted him to leave and so I threatened to cut his leg off, but he didn't take my threat seriously. I grabbed one of the knives, this one serrated, sharply so, and started cutting his right knee. Very quickly the bone became exposed and I started to cut the cartilage between the several bony bits. His leg's lower half came off and again he didn't seem that bothered, but it seemed like he gave in. Vague recall of cutting other of his limbs, but then all of a sudden he was fully re-attached as if nothing had ever happened, and he got ready to leave.

      I don't remember any of the interaction between myself and my cousin. I remember then going back into the tunnels and finding some other outdoor place, a volcanic wasteland of sorts? There were bits and pieces of an ancient dragon scattered about. The sky looked cloudy or dusty, with warm colours to it. I don't remember feeling hot though. A woman approached me at some point, we discussed something of a philosophical nature, but I don't remember what.

      Missing content or transition.

      Exploring some kind of castle. Looked like it had been made by Gaudi himself; it was very busy, lots of tourists. Me and H were at the top of this castle building, and we were crawling around through these narrow and cramped white/off-white plaster-like half tunnels. I remember giving way to some old people at some point. I don't remember much anymore other than some visual details like the very rounded shapes and the fact that it was sunny, which meant there were all these rounded shadows.

      Updated 06-25-2020 at 11:18 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    13. cxiii.

      by , 04-15-2020 at 12:25 PM
      I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

      Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.



      Dream Fragment:

      H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

      Dream Fragment:

      Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

      I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

      Dream Fragment:

      This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

      In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

      Dream Fragment:


      Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

      The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

      I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.



      Notes:
      - I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
      - In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.
    14. cxi.

      by , 04-07-2020 at 12:58 PM
      Some very long dreaming overall, many fragments lost now. The primary dream is backwards since that was the easiest way to put all the memory into notes.



      Dream Fragment:

      The earliest part of this dream I can remember, I was moving a cruise liner-like ship into orbit of a pretty plain planet. While manoeuvring close, I accidentally clipped head-on into the planet, so I had to sort of reverse out and reposition. I wanted to set it up so that it would make a nice screenshot, with the system's star and the nebulae in the background. There was a relatively dark palette to this scene, dark purples and dark desaturated oranges, almost a bright brown. The planet itself was a somewhat bright but lifeless pink and the ship was just some standard dark grey of sorts. Warm light.

      I intended to upload the resulting screenshot onto the game's forum, I think. Despite the whole scene having a hyper-realistic feel, it was quite a lot like Freelancer but not quite, a bit of EVE online feel to it too.

      In actuality I was on the ground, at the sloped and curvy area near M's house in my old town. I remember using some interfaces about my ship and looking through options. I "moused over" some checkboxes that had question marks next to them for info and quickly glanced at some tooltips that would appear with lists on them. I clicked some options rapidly; the options were relating to failure/limp modes. After checking these boxes, the ship started to implode. The options had no warning or confirmation before I had activated them so I got upset and spoke angrily at the interface, swearing and declaring how it was stupid, in my frustration.

      On some list of ships I apparently owned, I saw the value of this cruiser drop rapidly from several hundred million to almost nothing as it imploded. I knew the ship was dead and worthless now in orbit of that planet and took some comfort in the fact that nobody would want to loot it being so worthless. Annoyed, I still felt like I could make a screenshot out of it.

      Dream:

      I woke up when in the dream I was telling H about some water-filled cyst things that seemed to be under my skin on my chest, my groin and my legs. They were hard to the touch. There were some kind of "veins" between them and at certain angles or positions the water would run down through them with gravity. It looked a bit like fresh sausages when they are cooked and have fluid built up under the casing. I remember the light at this point was a dim and lightly blue-ish morning light.

      I asked H what it was and what it meant and more importantly, why it was going green on some bits (lower right belly) and H just said "then you lose" which made me panic and cry, at which point I quickly woke up.

      In the dream I had noticed them earlier and in the dream context of having just seen a doctor recently too. I wondered why I hadn't told the doctor about them. Maybe they weren't there at the time? This was all at the end of a long and odd dream.

      The preceding segment, I was with H at some guy's house. We were just loading up some cabinet "from the sound of music" or something into the van. Fairly dark wood, polygonal top, gold double trim along some edges, namely the top's sides. Was a bit like an end-table/cabinet. The guy who'd sold it to us had curly hair and fit some generic archetype of a musician. He commented something like "I hope you won't use it, and just store it safely in a bank", obviously still sentimental about it despite selling it. I thought to myself that there was no point in doing that, why had we bought it then. H didn't comment, I think.

      I had arrived on foot at this place, having expected to actually go home before I got here but for whatever reason I had come across H in the dark street just in front of this guy's house. H's van was on its left side and H had taken the roof off it somehow. Had a determined look and was moving some reel tape boxes on a shelf just behind the bulkhead. Gravity didn't seem right, like it was working in multiple directions at the same time. Didn't notice me for a while, but it was like I wasn't there either. Pre-lucid thoughts about how the van being like this was very dreamlike. The thoughts didn't cross the required threshold however and I didn't do any reality checks.

      Preceding that, I had been walking along streets of some version of the town we live in now. It was night time and wet, I can remember the reflection of red traffic lights on puddles. It may have been raining too while I walked. I remember the majority of my walking time I had been looking at Whatsapp on my phone. There were messages from H and loads from other people, but I promptly dismissed or ignored the ones from other people as I noticed them.

      When I started walking it was day time, sunny and dry. I remember there was this garden, belonging to a bad man. I felt like burning it down just before I'd left it. I walked across the little fields to get to the pavement and there were some odd roots or vines that had a planty mouth, and they shot chocolate ice cream or something across to the other side of the street. The little fields had vegetables planted, mostly carrots and turnips? But the root of the vegetables was very visible, not just the top of the plants.

      I got to this place after walking outside from another place where me and a bunch of other people were. Everyone had just found out that this man who owned these little garden/field things was a bad person, because of the testimony I gave them publicly, plus the testimony of two other people in the room. I was glad that they had spoken up. This indoors place was a bit like the fun centre at the mall near my old town. Odd lighting to the place.

      This man had apparently been building illegal mini race track things but there was something more insidious about him. I had just come down from an indoors ramp of sorts when a girl about my age confronted me about it, she had a worried look on her face. In the preceding segment I had been helping that man build this thing. But I stopped helping him as soon as he asked me to poop somewhere, as part of the building effort or something and to do something with it. I pretended to have no issue with this and just told him there was no way I could possibly just do it whenever I wanted and that I was fairly "irregular" anyway. I thought at this point of asking for the pay he'd promised but realised immediately he'd be a bastard, so I didn't and at that point I just wanted out of there and away from him.

      Finally, the earliest point in the dream I can remember was something about a forest and a sort of top down view. It was where I first noticed for myself these mini race track things, some floating over some kind of black abyss void.

      Dream Fragment:

      Something about Kaiju/Godzilla? Vague visual recall of some scenes where Godzilla was walking through a city.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some mini dream sequence about the automatic act of shaving. Probably caused by a lingering intent of wanting to do since yesterday.



      Notes:
      - When I woke up from the long dream, I was sweating, which is what typically has been happening when I get long and intense or vivid dreams.
      - The panic-type feelings stopped as soon as I woke up and didn't carry over into wakeful awareness. This wasn't what I'd consider a bad dream, just an odd one.
      - The things that were on my chest and etc. seemed like the symptom of something but I don't remember them being painful or anything.
      - There were several other dreams that I had fragments of, but I didn't make note of them and couldn't hold them through writing the rest of this.
    15. cv.

      by , 03-25-2020 at 12:17 PM
      Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.




      Dream:


      I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

      We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

      Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

      I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

      Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

      But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

      Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

      There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

      Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

      I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

      Dream Fragment:


      At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

      It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

      Dream Fragment:

      Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.



      Notes:
      - Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
      - The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
      - The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.
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