• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 19/07/2020

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I want the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. clxxx. Ship salvaging, Desert chase, Birth, Eclipsed Sun

      by , 10-17-2020 at 10:56 PM
      Some in-line notes.




      15th October 2020


      Fragment:

      In a space hangar of some sort. Hundreds of ships, they look like haulers from NMS. I have a contract or something and I have to salvage/loot some specific ships in the middle of all of these. There's some kind of dispute with someone else who's on the contract too?

      Earlier. Something about a woman my age. She shows someone, maybe one of my siblings, around her apartment. She offers them food and she has a mini-golf course inside the apartment. The person she's showing around doesn't seem interested, but they tell her that I might be interested, and this person goes out to find me or something.



      16th October 2020

      7:20

      Fragment:


      In a desert area. There are small towns. I was mostly here in some sort of observing role at first (but physically present?) but then I selected some kind of player faction like in an RTS game and I spawned in a pickup truck of some kind with a crew. We had to kill an American protagonist but we had to be careful. I needed to have resources gathered in order to build an anti-tank... tank.

      But instead, we just got involved in a chase where the protagonist person was in a humvee or something, chasing after an Arab guy. I tried to catch up to the Arab too but he was just too fast for all of us.

      Before all this, there was some other RTS segment. Defeated an enemy faction at the very last second before nearly being defeated myself. The objective was simply to destroy a core building in each others bases. Mix of Mech Commander and Supreme Commander. Remember dual-gun tanks like some of the T3 UEF.

      Earlier. Some bit in a town, being told about where I was born apparently. A black mother had given birth to me at a bench on a street and I remember a distinct visual effect like the retribution aura from WoW around me, which was apparently normal for people being born here but unusual everywhere else. But some old white man found me after the mother had seemingly abandoned me and he thought the aura was beautiful and he took me in, adoptively.

      10:00

      Fragment:


      A church. I forget most of it now but there was an upper area with a room meant for meditation and yoga. This church was built out of limestone I think, more like the churches around where I grew up, but the architectural style seemed more like those of where I live now.

      I remember there were notices on paper sheets taped to walls. There were lit candles and some other people were about.

      (gap or transition)

      In the same church still, but underground. A short cinematic view of this big white man, with a buzzcut-style hair and beard; he was working a forge with a metal forging spoon... ladle, thing. Like a cast iron cup. He would make gold items for the church, made from other gold items that were considered scrap, which he'd smelted before-hand.

      I remember then being physically there next to him and watching him work and H telling me that gold's melting point was 1142 or so, but I seemed to remember it being 1400, but then thought maybe that was aluminium.

      Fragment (DFLN):

      In my home town. Walking along a road or its pavement towards the roundabout. The church wasn't built yet. Buildings were in the wrong places. The sky was pitch black and it was night time, pretty much. But in the sky the sun was there, black and hollow, "an eclipse" I heard someone nearby comment. Looked like in DS3.

      (As I wrote the initial notes for this, I started my pc and noticed that the background image I made has an eclipsed sun exactly like the one from the dream.)

      I got to an area that looked like my old friend D's building. At this point I was still looking at the sky. The sun now looked like a cracked planet with lava flowing.
    2. clxxvii. Unlikely weapon stats, evading hostiles and travelling through space

      by , 10-10-2020 at 12:46 PM
      8th October 2020

      Fragment:


      In space, it looks like Freelancer, kind of. (Like most of my recent Freelancer themed dreams, the scale looked vast and more realistic)

      First I launched from a planet in a system completely filled by a nebula, like Omicron Beta, but not. The star looked dimmed through the clouds as it would in the actual game. I had a complex reputation standing with the factions so when some ships from a hostile faction appeared out of a trade lane, some friendlies immediately started turning red. Soon the whole system was after me and I tried to evade them in the usual ways. There was Rheinland navy in this system.

      I got to a wormhole? Then I'm in a different system. A Sigma type system. There was a large yellow star and some distant planets beyond it, as well as small nebulae and asteroid fields. The background itself was a light blue-grey nebula, but I don't remember the shape of it.

      I can't recall what my ship was like but I was using turret mode at some point to look around while cruising. I used a trade lane eventually but interrupted travel through it, halfway, and then veered off toward a darker area of the system behind an asteroid field. There were TIE fighters? I scanned the ships and saw the weapons were class 3, but somehow had a hull damage stat of around 3.4k. Their lasers were blue and the lasers themselves were classed as pulse-laser guns. I remember going toward a capital ship of some kind and landing on it.

      I got in a control room and remember taking some black gloves, they felt slightly heavy? Thoughts about Darth Vader and his armour. Then some crew landed on the capital ship and got to me and started attacking. An officer of some kind told me I only had a few seconds to live?

      Fragment:

      Reality mixed in with BL. A portal to my place was used or being opened. It was Ar, who had the form of that gecko pokemon, whatever its name is, with a mostly black and red colour scheme.

      Remember talking to him and telling him about the rooms in this in-game place. But I think I was wanting to move my base or something. At some other point some random furries appeared?



      Notes:
      - The unlikely weapon stats for a class 3 weapon could have been a good dream sign/dream indicator but I feel this came about from recently thinking about some of the bigger mods for the game, like TNG.
    3. clxxiv.

      by , 10-03-2020 at 01:50 AM
      2nd October 2020

      Scraps:

      (Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

      Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

      Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?
    4. clxiv. Freelancer, WoW, Deserts, Chocolate

      by , 09-14-2020 at 12:15 AM
      13th September 2020

      Fragment:

      Some segment where I was in a ship in space, like Freelancer. I think I'd bought a space station, but I can't remember how. Distant space looked dark, not as much as it should be in reality but there were only a few background nebulae.

      The station had a bit of a T shape and it spinned around its longest axis. I think when I took my ship to dock with the station, the whole station rotated toward my ship and stayed fixed in that orientation. But the station didn't look quite like one from Freelancer. It had more details and looked "realistic". I remember interacting with someone, either through a chat interface or voice chat.

      Fragment:

      I'm with Hnk in an open area, it looks like WoW but it's not any actual area from the game. We have a raid group with us and we're killing something like a dragon boss. I'm a warrior and I have T2 gear, I think. I'm alternating threat with another tank. I remember planting Alliance banners. When the boss finally dies, all the currently placed banners from either faction (there were some Horde ones too for some reason) change to the opposing factions'.

      The area looks a bit like Teldrassil. I remember after the boss is dead we run toward an arch of sorts, gnarled wood and stone?

      (recall gap)

      Something about Naxxramas, but it wasn't the "true" Naxxramas, which had some specific meaning in the dream. I talked to someone in the dream about this.

      Fragment:

      I'm in a completely flat desert (salt flats?). There are a couple of odd buildings, reminds me of BL in some way. Some dream characters, but recall faded too much.

      Fragment:


      Something about winning some kind of chocolate lottery or contest and as the prize I'd get chocolate for a lifetime. Some kind of chocolate bar. This tied in somehow with some kind of chocolate portals and rental servers?



      Notes:
      - A lot of the themes from these fragments are pretty well embedded in my head. Both games were games I played for a long time and between which I often alternated.
      - The chocolate lottery probably comes from having watched "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" but also just from an underlying desire to win a similar kind of lottery, but involving actual money.
      - The WoW dream is probably partly a reminder that I should talk to Hnk again, as I haven't remembered to do so for some time.
    5. cxxvi.

      by , 07-31-2020 at 03:06 PM
      31st May

      Several dreams, remember a few fragments of each.

      Dream Fragment:


      In one dream I was at my old home, in my bedroom. It was night time but the light was either on or quite bright from outside anyway. The balcony door was open, but blocked by closed curtains. The curtains that were there were the old ones from many years ago. They were white and a warm yellow. The colours inverted with one another on a bottom trim, which must be at least half a yard high or something.

      While I was noticing the pattern on the curtains, the wind was blowing sort of strongly but gently, making them sort of billow out, which in the dream reminded me of how a labcoat flows when someone is moving with one on. It was a sort of pre-lucid moment but it didn't last since I didn't actually end up questioning reality.

      I think then I walked across to where my desk used to be, but I don't really remember what happened next. Possibly it was a transition or something into another of the dream fragments I have.

      Dream Fragment:

      I was playing some space game, just starting out on it. I remember a main menu, and it looked a bit like the Starmade game, though it wasn't really like it either. But it had a desolate and empty feeling to it. I remember I was configuring a new world, but I don't really remember more than that.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some fragment of one of H's schematics. Obsessive thoughts about ohms and resistance. There were specific values in the dream but the memory is lost to me.

      Dream:

      Outside on a street. Looks like my native area or the city nearby. Though it is day time, it looks overcast and desaturated. I walk on some cobbled pavement, and I'm headed towards a store or shop? Maybe a barber or hairdresser, something about the windows it had made me feel or think this. The windows were not see-through, they had like full-sized vynil stickers on them, as a style thing primarily I think but also as a sort of advertising. I don't remember what images were displayed, but something relating to the human figure overall.

      There were other dreams but I don't remember them.
    6. cxiv.

      by , 04-17-2020 at 11:50 AM
      Mostly remember fragments of a single continuous dream.



      Dream fragment:

      Something about a subway. Remember trying to catch a train but it was only three carriages long instead of the expected six, so I and most of the people on the platform didn't manage to get on. I was there with someone, family? Aunt or something.

      Another part of this dream, remember being in the car (or train?) with mom and dad, possibly some sibling too. I remember seeing fires in the countryside that looked deliberate, as there were trees burning just under high-power transmission lines at a few different spots along the journey. I remember asking my parents if I should call the firemen, but they dismissed the idea that it was malicious and so eventually I ended up dismissing it too.

      Dream:


      I was playing some altered version of Freelancer with H. It looked more detailed and we were in a pretty dark system. There was a base with view to a planet nearby, Earth-like. We went to the base and docked there. The scale of everything was more accurate than in the actual game, though the interfaces all seemed to be in the same style as ever. I think at first we were a bit confused because we'd docked in different parts of the base, but I looked at the missions board and found some mission that had conflicting credit reward numbers. But it seemed like it would pay well anyway so I suggested we take this mission, something about a research vessel. I realised it might be challenging for a single player but should be fine with both of us doing the mission.

      After taking the mission we took off from the base and started exploring. A frigate class ship appeared and it looked hostile, though shouldn't have been because of the mission, but H decided to attack it; we dealt with it somehow and continued. We were headed the direction opposite from where the planet was. The space background was mostly black with stars, not usually the case in Freelancer. As we tried to find the mission objective we went past a big asteroid base, belonged to the Xenos. It was white (neutral) to us because of the mission as expected and their fighters were fighting some other faction I didn't make note of.

      Missing content or transition.

      I remember being in a cave? Water-filled. I was swimming, something happened just before this but not sure what. I was holding this pendant that had a sapphire encrusted in it. Despite being a cave with no natural light, I could see fairly well. I swam fast to try to find an opening with air, though my concern wasn't over myself, it was over the gem. I remember a lady told me I couldn't let it crack, which it would apparently do eventually if it stayed in the water. (I assumed because of pressure, despite the small depth)

      I found a sloping exit of the cave and got out of the water. The pendant and its gem were fine though I'd heard a few cracking noises while swimming. I was in a bigger cave system now. A kind of nexus of tunnels by the looks of it. I remember walking toward the leftmost tunnel from where I stood, it seemed to lead outside. As I got near an opening, there were people there. My cousin T? She was being held by this unknown man or something. I had three knives of different sizes and grabbed the biggest one, a curved blade, and stabbed the man in the lower right back, just under the ribs. He groaned I think but otherwise didn't seem that hurt. I tried something else; I wanted him to leave and so I threatened to cut his leg off, but he didn't take my threat seriously. I grabbed one of the knives, this one serrated, sharply so, and started cutting his right knee. Very quickly the bone became exposed and I started to cut the cartilage between the several bony bits. His leg's lower half came off and again he didn't seem that bothered, but it seemed like he gave in. Vague recall of cutting other of his limbs, but then all of a sudden he was fully re-attached as if nothing had ever happened, and he got ready to leave.

      I don't remember any of the interaction between myself and my cousin. I remember then going back into the tunnels and finding some other outdoor place, a volcanic wasteland of sorts? There were bits and pieces of an ancient dragon scattered about. The sky looked cloudy or dusty, with warm colours to it. I don't remember feeling hot though. A woman approached me at some point, we discussed something of a philosophical nature, but I don't remember what.

      Missing content or transition.

      Exploring some kind of castle. Looked like it had been made by Gaudi himself; it was very busy, lots of tourists. Me and H were at the top of this castle building, and we were crawling around through these narrow and cramped white/off-white plaster-like half tunnels. I remember giving way to some old people at some point. I don't remember much anymore other than some visual details like the very rounded shapes and the fact that it was sunny, which meant there were all these rounded shadows.

      Updated 06-25-2020 at 11:18 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    7. cxiii.

      by , 04-15-2020 at 12:25 PM
      I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

      Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.



      Dream Fragment:

      H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

      Dream Fragment:

      Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

      I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

      Dream Fragment:

      This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

      In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

      Dream Fragment:


      Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

      The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

      I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.



      Notes:
      - I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
      - In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.
    8. cxi.

      by , 04-07-2020 at 12:58 PM
      Some very long dreaming overall, many fragments lost now. The primary dream is backwards since that was the easiest way to put all the memory into notes.



      Dream Fragment:

      The earliest part of this dream I can remember, I was moving a cruise liner-like ship into orbit of a pretty plain planet. While manoeuvring close, I accidentally clipped head-on into the planet, so I had to sort of reverse out and reposition. I wanted to set it up so that it would make a nice screenshot, with the system's star and the nebulae in the background. There was a relatively dark palette to this scene, dark purples and dark desaturated oranges, almost a bright brown. The planet itself was a somewhat bright but lifeless pink and the ship was just some standard dark grey of sorts. Warm light.

      I intended to upload the resulting screenshot onto the game's forum, I think. Despite the whole scene having a hyper-realistic feel, it was quite a lot like Freelancer but not quite, a bit of EVE online feel to it too.

      In actuality I was on the ground, at the sloped and curvy area near M's house in my old town. I remember using some interfaces about my ship and looking through options. I "moused over" some checkboxes that had question marks next to them for info and quickly glanced at some tooltips that would appear with lists on them. I clicked some options rapidly; the options were relating to failure/limp modes. After checking these boxes, the ship started to implode. The options had no warning or confirmation before I had activated them so I got upset and spoke angrily at the interface, swearing and declaring how it was stupid, in my frustration.

      On some list of ships I apparently owned, I saw the value of this cruiser drop rapidly from several hundred million to almost nothing as it imploded. I knew the ship was dead and worthless now in orbit of that planet and took some comfort in the fact that nobody would want to loot it being so worthless. Annoyed, I still felt like I could make a screenshot out of it.

      Dream:

      I woke up when in the dream I was telling H about some water-filled cyst things that seemed to be under my skin on my chest, my groin and my legs. They were hard to the touch. There were some kind of "veins" between them and at certain angles or positions the water would run down through them with gravity. It looked a bit like fresh sausages when they are cooked and have fluid built up under the casing. I remember the light at this point was a dim and lightly blue-ish morning light.

      I asked H what it was and what it meant and more importantly, why it was going green on some bits (lower right belly) and H just said "then you lose" which made me panic and cry, at which point I quickly woke up.

      In the dream I had noticed them earlier and in the dream context of having just seen a doctor recently too. I wondered why I hadn't told the doctor about them. Maybe they weren't there at the time? This was all at the end of a long and odd dream.

      The preceding segment, I was with H at some guy's house. We were just loading up some cabinet "from the sound of music" or something into the van. Fairly dark wood, polygonal top, gold double trim along some edges, namely the top's sides. Was a bit like an end-table/cabinet. The guy who'd sold it to us had curly hair and fit some generic archetype of a musician. He commented something like "I hope you won't use it, and just store it safely in a bank", obviously still sentimental about it despite selling it. I thought to myself that there was no point in doing that, why had we bought it then. H didn't comment, I think.

      I had arrived on foot at this place, having expected to actually go home before I got here but for whatever reason I had come across H in the dark street just in front of this guy's house. H's van was on its left side and H had taken the roof off it somehow. Had a determined look and was moving some reel tape boxes on a shelf just behind the bulkhead. Gravity didn't seem right, like it was working in multiple directions at the same time. Didn't notice me for a while, but it was like I wasn't there either. Pre-lucid thoughts about how the van being like this was very dreamlike. The thoughts didn't cross the required threshold however and I didn't do any reality checks.

      Preceding that, I had been walking along streets of some version of the town we live in now. It was night time and wet, I can remember the reflection of red traffic lights on puddles. It may have been raining too while I walked. I remember the majority of my walking time I had been looking at Whatsapp on my phone. There were messages from H and loads from other people, but I promptly dismissed or ignored the ones from other people as I noticed them.

      When I started walking it was day time, sunny and dry. I remember there was this garden, belonging to a bad man. I felt like burning it down just before I'd left it. I walked across the little fields to get to the pavement and there were some odd roots or vines that had a planty mouth, and they shot chocolate ice cream or something across to the other side of the street. The little fields had vegetables planted, mostly carrots and turnips? But the root of the vegetables was very visible, not just the top of the plants.

      I got to this place after walking outside from another place where me and a bunch of other people were. Everyone had just found out that this man who owned these little garden/field things was a bad person, because of the testimony I gave them publicly, plus the testimony of two other people in the room. I was glad that they had spoken up. This indoors place was a bit like the fun centre at the mall near my old town. Odd lighting to the place.

      This man had apparently been building illegal mini race track things but there was something more insidious about him. I had just come down from an indoors ramp of sorts when a girl about my age confronted me about it, she had a worried look on her face. In the preceding segment I had been helping that man build this thing. But I stopped helping him as soon as he asked me to poop somewhere, as part of the building effort or something and to do something with it. I pretended to have no issue with this and just told him there was no way I could possibly just do it whenever I wanted and that I was fairly "irregular" anyway. I thought at this point of asking for the pay he'd promised but realised immediately he'd be a bastard, so I didn't and at that point I just wanted out of there and away from him.

      Finally, the earliest point in the dream I can remember was something about a forest and a sort of top down view. It was where I first noticed for myself these mini race track things, some floating over some kind of black abyss void.

      Dream Fragment:

      Something about Kaiju/Godzilla? Vague visual recall of some scenes where Godzilla was walking through a city.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some mini dream sequence about the automatic act of shaving. Probably caused by a lingering intent of wanting to do since yesterday.



      Notes:
      - When I woke up from the long dream, I was sweating, which is what typically has been happening when I get long and intense or vivid dreams.
      - The panic-type feelings stopped as soon as I woke up and didn't carry over into wakeful awareness. This wasn't what I'd consider a bad dream, just an odd one.
      - The things that were on my chest and etc. seemed like the symptom of something but I don't remember them being painful or anything.
      - There were several other dreams that I had fragments of, but I didn't make note of them and couldn't hold them through writing the rest of this.
    9. cv.

      by , 03-25-2020 at 12:17 PM
      Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.




      Dream:


      I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

      We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

      Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

      I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

      Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

      But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

      Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

      There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

      Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

      I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

      Dream Fragment:


      At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

      It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

      Dream Fragment:

      Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.



      Notes:
      - Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
      - The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
      - The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.
    10. ciii.

      by , 03-23-2020 at 12:33 PM
      Two dreams from this morning.



      Dream:

      Don't remember the start of the dream really but I was seeing some pictures in a news article, I think on a newspaper. It was about two men and a woman who had returned to Earth after being in outer space, and they were being praised for their survival.

      It seemed odd because I thought this to be a fairly routine thing and there was no subtext of an accident having occurred or anything.
      Spoiler for Possibly gorey/graphic:


      Dream Fragment:

      I was in a town, don't know it from anywhere in waking life but it had the typical look of towns from my native country. It had a characteristic path that in the dream's context was commonplace for me to use. The path went up to and across a small water area that was quite deep, the only way to cross it was on some rickety wooden beams. The water looked murky but clear at the same time, and I wasn't afraid of falling in, finding myself much more concerned with the fact that I realised that recently the beams had been moved and had to be adjusted now before I could cross.

      I saw an old lady across from the water, she was carrying some shopping home and didn't look my way, but I heard her muttering that she wished her grandma would stop moving the beams. I had a passing thought of asking her to confront her grandma so it wouldn't happen again, but I didn't.

      The dream went on for a while but I don't remember any details apart from the fact that it had something to do with aunts from my mom's side and my siblings.




      Notes:

      - The first dream was quite unusual in its content and my sense of location was more inside the pictures than where I actually was reading this article from. This morning was disrupted by loud construction work at 7AM so maybe that had something to do with it.
      - The general plot of that dream may simply have come because I've been watching some medical dramas recently, although there has been nothing in them quite like this.
      - I'm remembering that the second dream took place during day time but everything looked particularly grey and overcast.
    11. c.

      by , 03-18-2020 at 07:08 PM
      Dreams from 14th, 17th and 18th. Mostly just copied directly from any morning notes I made for each day. Some notes in-line with the entries.


      14th:

      Dream Fragment:

      First dream? Some Egyptian place, a big outdoor temple. I remember detailed stone and all the shapes I normally associate with ancient Egyptian architecture. I remember night time but also day time. It was a fairly long dream.

      It was a game like world or something. I was Link from Legend of Zelda? I remember fighting winged obsidian statues (likely "borrowed" from WoW). I remember the feel of a controller in my hands though. Maybe a Gamecube or Nintendo 64 controller, but could have just been a Wii one, since the joysticks have remained fairly similar over the years.

      Dream Fragment:

      A dream I'd travelled to my native country but with my high school class, and some other classmates from childhood. I remember we were in a coastal area visiting something. I forget all the details. This black I knew, Milt, was messing around some exhibit area? And then we were burying smoe ancient and withered corpse that had not received any funereal service. We then surrounded him with rocks and then placed larger boulders on top of him. The corpse was on a small dirt incline, about 20 or 30 degrees steep.

      Then I remember a room, indoors but nearby. It was dark inside, but I can't remember what happened there.

      Dream Fragment:

      Last dream that I woke up with, a WoW dream. Was playing rogue as usual and I was together with a raid group in Orgrimmar. We were in a different version of Thrall's throne room, it was more like a mix of Stormwind in a way because there was a lot of white stone and it was well lit.

      We were all bunched up in a corner, waiting for Horde players to come. I remember we didn't want to attack Thrall until we'd dealt with most of the nuisance players that would appear. We had already attacked Thrall before? I remember feeling surprise at the fact that none of the Alliance players from the raid group were messing around.

      17th:

      Scraps:

      Something about trains? Vaguely recall the dream took place outside and that it was day.

      18th:

      Dream:


      The dream was a bit of a mix of Freelancer and other space games I've played over the years. I was avoiding some large blocky asteroids while flying a ship, and when I got clear of the asteroids I noticed a planet in the distance. I kept my course which was already on approach to it and noticed a gas cloud/small nebula formation appear. It was a green-ish dark mustard colour and mostly surrounded the planet. Like a smog coming off the planet.

      I remember the descent down into the atmosphere in some detail. There was some virtual interface element somewhere that, combined with the structures I saw, made me understand that the planet was mostly covered by factories and dense cities comprised mostly of narrow but tall skyscrapers. It looked like most of the surface area was being maximised for industrial output space, not for living. I landed somewhere and went to a bar of sorts, typical of Freelancer-like gameplay.

      People didn't look well off. There was a stereotypical North American "Trucker" feel to the place and there was an overall air that this entire place existed in a state of bare subsistence. I remember talking to some of these people but I don't remember exactly about what. It was night time both through the descent and while I was at the bar place.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some underground place, very well lit. There was a feel to the dream like some of the more dark and serious anime type stuff, such as full film-type productions. There were policemen with gas masks and they threw some sort of stunning gas grenades. I try to escape with two other people. We were doing a heist or something? The police looked like the Secreta from E.Y.E. but with typical blue and white colours instead of gold and black.

      Some transition or outside? A rail track of some sort. The dream was quite long but I was a bit too tired and I've forgotten most details. I remember two groups of people, and Auron from FFX. There was some cart carriage thing that went on the rail track...
    12. lxxxiii.

      by , 02-12-2020 at 11:40 PM
      Dreams that I made note of early today but that I'm only writing on the DJ here at night.



      Dream Fragment:


      Much longer than just this bit and a lot of detail is missing. Was with my family at some building, more specifically, with my parents and maybe siblings. We were there because of me, I was waiting to be given permission to use this facility's reactor-powered super-computer.

      One of mom's sisters (M) was there . H was there but was a blend between himself and my oldest sibling. I remember we were waiting in some sort of lobby. It was sunny, there was a lot of glass. It was a fairly modern-style building from what I can remember. Eventually, a woman came through into the room and requested my presence. I followed her and walked through some halls and then through a large indoors space, like an aircraft hangar or an industrial warehouse. When we were in one of these larger spaces, the woman, who I remember was formally dressed (i.e. had some sort of secretarial position), said that they were going to give me the OK to use their computer.

      Apparently I wanted to use this computer to "hack" some other reactor-powered super-computer of the same sort. In the dream I already knew I had permission from the owners of that second computer to do this. My reaction to when she gave me the OK was something of surprise and I felt happy. I told her I'd be right back and jogged back to the lobby quickly to grab a few things. Mostly some papers, A4 prints of the schematics for the other reactor? Looked like amplifier schematics like the ones I often see H use.

      In the dream I knew that some favour I pulled was responsible for the people who owned this place to allow me to do this, though there seemed to be no animosity with anyone and there was a calm and polite atmosphere.

      I remember there was a lot of dialogue in this dream but I remember very little of it in detail, usually one of the first things to get forgotten. I went back to the woman after grabbing the papers. I remember being shown into a room where I then used some sort of computer terminal and then gained physical access to the other computer's library. But it was literally and physically manifested in front of me, above the terminal.

      I looked through the books. I remember chatting to this lady since she was there to supervise me, mostly small talk. I couldn't remember which of these files (the books) that H was interested in, so for whatever reason I asked for someone to go and fetch my oldest sibling (L). L arrived and immediately recognised the book. L took it and I wondered how we'd return it, since I realised in that moment this was a one-time thing but we were still obliged to return the file.

      Then I said to L: "make sure you get everything you want, because we will never have access to this again." I remember thinking or feeling that the other books on that shelf were filled with irreplaceable knowledge.

      The dream went on for a bit but I don't remember much. Some visions of the reactors? I told the lady about how I got permission to do all of this.

      Dream Fragment:

      A different dream. In space, much shorter dream. Strategy game like Homeworld but could manage planets and space stations too. Mix of Freelancer too? Don't remember the visuals anymore. Woke up after this dream.

      Dream Fragment:

      Fell back asleep and recalled this single fragment. Was helping T build some sort of organ console. The console didn't look right. It was askew? But it was on purpose apparently. The manuals were angled at 90 degrees and sloped on a 30 degree arc. I remember this took place in T's room. There was a light on and the room was dark otherwise, somewhat as expected really.

      Mom was there, talking to T I think.


      Some notes:
      - I did remember more conversational detail when I woke up and wrote down the first dream on my phone but the memory has since long left as I finish writing this DJ entry.
      - The thing with the shelf and the books being the other computer's file system was very unusual. It was like an allegory, but somewhat unnecessary.
      - For whatever reason, these few dreams I had all had H, T and L mixed in some sense as if they were all the same character. Although I can draw some similarities between them, like the bookshelf thing, I'm not sure why it was almost made obvious in the dream. Normally my less conscious thoughts don't manifest themselves in dreams in such an obvious way, probably since I already recognise all these elements consciously anyway.
      - The secretary figure is starting to become a recurring dream character in a sense. Feels like a sort of formal projection, as a character, of what I would consider my anima to be. Last year there were some similar appearances. Usually black hair, tidy, possibly glasses and a smooth but not perfect face. A slight bit of attitude or something in body posture, but in a relaxed way. Takes herself seriously.
      - A note on the above; I have taken the Jungian archetypes into a sort of personally meaningful way as I do with symbols in general, so that they have specific meanings to myself, which are often a bit more distant from their original meanings. This accounts for why the appearance of these archetypes varies, sometimes dramatically. But the key identifier for them is usually that they are key characters in the dream and that they are not related to people I know, and seem to be more disjointed from the other characters in a dream, usually.
      - T's room was more or less as I remember last seeing it. The sense of any unpleasant smell didn't seem to be there, but I remember feeling uncomfortable being in the room.
    13. lxxviii.

      by , 02-05-2020 at 12:15 PM
      Just some short dream fragments. Woke up but didn't get out of bed for a while and got distracted so didn't retain many thoughts.


      Dream Fragment:

      Something in space. Felt a bit like Freelancer but I think I could command ships that weren't my own? I remember an asteroid field and an asteroid space station. The system looked like it had a light source coming from underneath but was mostly black space with stars with some blue-ish nebulas on the lower hemisphere. The system felt "sunny". Omega/Sigma/Tau type system. Earlier I had a clearer idea of which it reminded me most of.

      Dream Fragment:

      There's a bridge that I'm trying to place somewhere. I sort of have some kind of visual interface to move it around and rotate it but I struggle for a while to get it to a position I'm satisfied with. One of my siblings (T) is in the dream somehow but I think only in some form of chat. I remember having a conversation about the bridge and how it wasn't quite working out. I remember I then had to add some extra support pillars.

      The bridge location was some kind of crude game-like valley. It looked like the type of terrain/landscape I might roughly make before having worked on any detail for it. The area seemed to be covered in shadow, like there were other objects above.


      No notes.
    14. lxxiii.

      by , 01-30-2020 at 01:57 PM
      Some fragments from last night.


      Fragment:

      I was in some kind of starship, not unlike one from Star Trek but there was a mixed feel from several space stuff, including a bit from Starpoint Gemini. I was captaining the ship and we were headed straight for a blue-ish planet, covered mostly by water than anything else. I could see the system's star just left of where the planet was, much further away.

      Some four or five other green-coloured ships appeared, intercepting and following us closely. I suggested to an officer to simply activate the cloaking device ability and could see in a third-person view from outside the ship as the field enveloped it and the other ships disbanded in separate directions. (Expectable AI behaviour if it were a game)

      As we got very close to the planet, I could see everything in a sort of cinematic view and then the ship started getting close to the ground to land somewhere but for whatever reason it had to be at an airport, so the ship kept making really wide loops closing in and away from the planet surface.

      Every time we got close, I could see on some disembodied interface some information about the local surface structures. I did see a fair few airports, but many of which had tractors lining up vegetables in the runways. This annoyed me slightly.

      There is a transition and I am now on my own at some sort of Japanese-looking castle. It's night-time but I can see the moon and everything looks bright and blue-ish. There are some sort of holographic security features. (This part of the dream vaguely reminded me of Starbound)

      Fragment:

      Just a small part of some other dream, I was in a town with some friends, not sure who. We just came out of a restaurant that was closing for the night and then two of us went one way, and I wondered where the third member was. I asked my friend, who only vaguely suggested the other might have gone looking for something.

      I remember wandering streets, there was a lot of light, from glowing signs and lampposts. I could see people sitting at cafes and so on.

      At some point we went into some shop and I wondered again about the missing friend. The friend that was with me was fascinated and excited by rediscovering some sort of cardboard packed plastic ketchup sachets.

      The next bit I remember, stuck in some sort of traffic at a four-way junction, with three lanes on each direction.



      Side notes:

      • The first dream was a bit more unusual as I haven't had many dreams that take place in space, even though I've played a lot of games that do.
      • The view-point changes were sort of frequent in the space dream and they felt a bit like they were made through a keyboard I couldn't quite feel. I suppose this sensation is quite similar to when I'm actually playing or writing something, where the keyboard sort of just becomes an extension of awareness, rather than existing as a physical obstacle, in a sense.
      • Most of these dream fragments I am getting lately are written quite a lot later from when I had the dreams, so it's a sign that recall is improving somewhat and I am also noticing more pre-lucid thoughts at a sort of "gut feeling" level, where I am not expressly thinking in spoken words but rather getting feelings or intuition about the dreams' content.

      Updated 01-30-2020 at 02:21 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    15. li.

      by , 10-13-2018 at 11:01 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up a bit before 9 but didn't recall any dreams. Woke up again around 10 recalling some non-lucid stuff.



      Fragment 1:
      I was playing the game Freelancer, it felt as though I was "in" it; I was in a system that doesn't exist in the game, though I've dreamed similar systems before. It was like the Omicron Alpha system and some of the Sigma systems.

      It was a high level area but for some reason I was in the starter ship, and all the NPC ships were showing up red (hostile); despite this, they weren't actually attacking, more like they disliked me rather than hated me (which wouldn't show up as red in the real game).

      I don't think there were any planets in this system and there was one star and I could see some asteroid belts in the distance. The "sky" had some blue nebulas and bright stars but was mostly dark.

      Dream 2:
      I remember being in a small and cramped kitchen, the ceiling was kind of low, especially for a kitchen. There was a fluorescent light that lit up the entire room. In the kitchen were myself, my partner (H) and our friend (M).

      Can't remember what we were initially talking about, but while we all talked I crouched next to the fridge and opened it to have a look inside; the fridge didn't seem to have a light inside, and as I opened the door I hit M with it by accident. I said sorry and he said it was ok. I hadn't realised he was standing just there, somehow. I couldn't find anything I wanted really but I can't actually remember what was inside the fridge.

      I got up and closed the door and saw the time on some red 7-segment display: 17:09. M mentioned he was going to go to bed in a few seconds, I showed some surprise and asked "shouldn't we be having dinner then?" and we apparently hadn't had lunch yet, as H said "well, make it be our lunch too then".

      I think M was considering whether to eat before bed or not, and I think I asked what time he was getting up at, which he said would be 7AM or something. I walked in the opposite direction from M, past H, who was sat on a chair, and on a counter there was a pile of stuff under a tea towel. I took it off and underneath were some ready-made food packs, like chicken with noodles and vegetables. I grabbed one that was open, implied to be leftovers, and grabbed a nearby fork and ate some of the chicken. It tasted a bit... bland. I was disappointed and the rest didn't look that appetising; in fact, the rest of the chicken in this pack looked a bit pink and like it had a few white spots. But I knew it was cooked properly because these packs come pre-cooked and when I tasted some, it didn't taste raw. I nearly questioned all of this but the dream ended.



      Some notes:
      • When I used to play Freelancer, going to higher end systems in a low-level ship wasn't too uncommon for me; the dream hostility implication being that most of the factions I'd want to ally with are ones that you start off as being hostile towards, and the other thing is that if I was starting a new game, because I was good at avoiding shots, there were good wreckage and freight piracy spots in some of these areas, giving a quick boost to being able to get to a higher-end ship sooner.
      • I mostly remember seeing Outcast and Lane Hacker factions in the dream. The appearance of Lane Hackers in the dream is strange because they are allies of the Outcasts but I almost never interacted with them.
      • In the second dream, M seemed a bit sad or upset and not really up to talking. This is probably residual from his current real-life situation.
      • The pink bits on the chicken looked odd because they were on the outside, where the chicken did look cooked; because of the small white spots, I think I probably would have concluded it to be some sort of bacterial or fungal growth, had the dream carried on. I should remember to do a RC when food tastes funny or bland in general.
      • Although I remember arriving at the kitchen from outside, I don't remember an outside or a previous dream.





      Scoring thus far:
      + Previous score: 34.0

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 8.5
      ++ Recall a non-lucid fragment: 0.5
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream: 1.0
      ++ Recall any non-lucid dream over 7 consecutive nights: 7.0
      Though I could probably consider that "fly" happened in the first dream, I don't remember enough sensations to consider it valid.

      = Total score thus far: 42.5
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