DarkestDarkness

28th March 2021

Fragment:

Some kind of false awakening, dream reality feels accurate to waking life. I get up and then am answering the door? It's early morning and it's sunny outside; the sun's position in the sky would make it late afternoon but in the dream I don't realise this, the light looks morning-like. There's a courier stood by a van on the left or something and I go to him, shielding my eyes from the sun's glare with my right hand. My eyes feel exactly as if I had indeed just gotten up and are taking long to adjust to the bright light and I squint. I take a package from the courier? There are other people around in the street but rest of details not recalled.

Fragment:

I'm in a building. A hall or palace, unsure. I'm part of a faction and I have some kind of battle equipment but little detail recalled and I go on some kind of patrols on my own in a city or town area. Then back at the palace place, one item I recall clearly on a table is an Axis-like medal with a skull at its centre. It's a pendant and it's mine. I take it and it has some kind of interface overlay saying it grants me "+2 fortune". There's some other pendant which I also take and it grants +1.

In the room I'm in, there are two large palace windows to a courtyard. A Nazi officer with some bodyguards or soldiers approach a door next to the windows. He knocks or something and waits patiently, I believe someone answers the door and the officer speaks. "I have been sent to speak to the queen", he says, or something to that effect. The door is shut and the man waits patiently outside, looking somewhat stiff in posture.

It is either dawn or night but it doesn't look so dark outside. Someone goes to get the queen; eventually she appears to my left in a dark corridor. She's in her night clothing and looks rather exposed or vulnerable as far as royalty goes. This is some ancient English queen, but I'm not sure who; possibly queen Victoria, I get a feel of. She stands a distance away from the door and it is opened now; she engages in some dialogue with the Nazi officer. Her face suggests mistrust, disgust and apprehension, possibly more so for having been woken in the night like this.

Notes:
- The second fragment was very long but I cannot recall enough of it to put into words; a lot of it seemed to take place in WH40k-like locations. There was a general feel of futuristic Warhammer mixed with WWII themes to the whole thing.

- The pendant I had also gave that feeling; as far as I can tell, it was like a medal awarded to me for valour in combat; I do not remember what the second pendant looked like. They were both on leather strings.

9th January 2021

Fragment:

(from last to earliest)

Watching, or playing a game like War Thunder but it also included infantry. It was going a little bit wacky by the end of the dream with weird physics bugs. At some point I recall seeing some soldiers from a third-person point of view behind them where they would set off some rockets but then ride them; with the weird physics bugs it resulted in a lot of stuff bouncing around the place and I remember one of the rockets detonated on colliding sideways with a rocket launching flatbed truck.

An earlier sequence, was with H in an alternate version of the town we live in. We went to some kind of physical therapy group and we were both doing the same activities. By the end H was complaining it had hurt him and he couldn't see the benefit as a result of this. I remember saying something about how this being how it always was (for me).

Another part. Half participating, half watching; some kind of mega rally race thing. Two motorbikes in the lead, the one with the greater lead is from the USA and the second one is from the UK; I remember seeing this second bike, it seemingly had no rider and it had a Union Jack paint job that actually looked decent.

There were hundreds of other cars and motorbikes on this race, I recall seeing them on a map which showed the entire circuit - it was a very long and convoluted circuit in a mountainous area - but they were literally several miles off these two leading bikes. The bike from the USA still had many seconds of lead on the UK bike. Vague recall of my dad being nearby?

Chronological re-direction entry;

2nd August 2020

4th August 2020 - 1

4th August 2020 - 2 (lucid)

---

5th August 2020

Fragment:

Canyons and ravines. Going around with someone else, but don't recall who.

Eventually something about escaping or getting away. An alien "saucer" ship. Vision, of an alien communicating in an unknown language, as if on a holographic screen/display. One word stands out from the alien's speak however: Hyperdrive.

I need to find a hyperdrive for these aliens, or find a suitable person to repair theirs maybe, I remember thinking. The drive would be mounted at the top of their ship?

Still in the same dream, in my old home's building in the stairwell. Something seems different from how it should be. I go to one of the in-between level landings and go through one of the storage areas behind the frosted glass. They have a door on the other side which leads to a different, but mirror version of the stairwells. I don't question this in the dream, but it would have been a very good point for a RC, as this construct would be physically impossible in reality, there would be a drop on the other side, not a mirror version.

The stairwell was well lit by natural light, but still many dark contrasts. Unlike in present day, the stairwell had no automatic lights.

---

6th August 2020

Fragment:

Some early dream part was something about sending waves of hundreds of "native" fighters, fighting for some cause that a faction I belonged to was pursuing. These native fighters kept being annihilated by the enemy, which was simply better equipped.

After this happened more than a few times (I remember seeing it, but not being there), I went to the fronts myself, only to find that there was no strategist in place here and so felt it was no wonder they kept getting slaughtered by the enemy. Lack of equipment could have been substituted by adequate and cautious strategy to defeat these openly arrogant enemies.

Fragment:

By the end of this dream I was watching some kind of live concert? There was a white female singer in the centre of a room. She started to sing a song I don't know, it was titled "Snowflake" or something. At first I thought that it was going to be silly, but then I found myself relating to the lyrics of her song, feeling like it was a song that could have come from H's perspective about me. The lyrics started off something like "something as simple as; merry Christmas!; is enough to [something] my snowflake".

In-line note: Re-writing this here now, it seems there's still a lingering emotional link, despite not remember the dream very well visually; this suggests to me that this is attached to a very specific part of my subconscious, as I only have a few specific instances of this happening.

Because I found myself relating to the lyrics so oddly and so specifically, I did a reality check. I had the correct number of fingers, and my fingers wouldn't pass through my palms, so I decided perhaps too quickly that reality was consistent enough that I wasn't dreaming.

I remember the whole thing was all very "sing-along", with people in an audience playing their own instruments, in perfect time with the music, somehow just right, with no flaws at all.

---

Extra note:

- The music in the singing lady dream was, to my memory, completely dream-generated, but it did have elements of old timey singing/melody, which H does listen to a fair bit and I usually listen to as well when H does.
- The first fragment from the 6th came from an incredibly long dream, I remember being in a lot of different places, mostly tents, trenches, battle-scarred streets, etc. I remember many scenes of both brightness and darkness, but I seem to be remembering an overly orange, sandy tone to the dream.

Only some small fragments. Didn't make notes on getting up and the DJ wasn't the first priority after getting up.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was helping or teaching a small boy. He was from a village called Fargoth? It was South-East from wherever I was, somewhere in the North of England. I remember seeing it on a map, a mix of an online map and a city-building game map. I remember we looked at maps together too, he talked about Spain for some reason and I remember zooming in on the deserts and seeing farmland.

Dream Fragment:

I was helping a North American general, he wanted to take me and a group to battle somewhere specific. In the dream I had already been in battle at that place before. The general must have been in his fifties but had white hair for the most part. I remember he had a typical US soldier's helmet from decades past, not a modern one.

We went to the place and we were under fire from pretty much all directions. I remember it was dark and atmospheric, the sky was a certain mix of red and black and smoke. The general wanted to go after a certain Zen-Chi and so I lead him up a hill where I knew he was firing from or something. This entire location had small houses and maybe was a small fort or old castle? I remember a little market thing, in ruins.

At the top of this climb, mostly stone steps, there was a wooden shed. There were loads of woodworking tools on the outside, and other sharp implements that had nothing to do with woodworking.

The general wanted to go head in, I stopped him physically. I told him he couldn't, that was exactly how I'd lost a friend to Zen-Chi myself and so I decided we'd taunt him a little first. We shouted at him from outside to try and unsettle him; then we opened the creaky wooden door. It was brighter inside, there were some tungsten bulbs lighting the place. There were physical separations or curtains all over the inside, but before I went in, from the tool rack, I grabbed a long and heavy metal rod that had a perfect point at one end. It was like a cast aluminium javelin, it was odd.

Despite it's length I managed to manoeuvre inside with it. I motioned for the general to stay back and I crouched, seeing under the separators inside the shed. I could see Zen-Chi's feet. I approached slowly and heard him taunt back at us now, I can't remember what he said.

Then, when I was close enough, I struck his foot with the sharp point of the javelin, quickly pulling it back and then I think I got up and opened the barrier, which was a curtain after all, and struck Zen-Chi in the head with the sharp point, then his chest.

In that moment it was somewhat unsettling to strike him on the head, which made me feel as though I'd hesitated, but I wanted to be sure he'd die, hence the second strike on the chest.

---

Notes:
- The hesitation and unsettling feeling of striking someone in the head so brutally like I did against this dream character reflects well how I feel about certain situations in fighting. I feel it's somewhat foul to destroy someone's face and head, not to mention it paints a very gruesome picture in my imagination.

- The plot of that dream was pretty generic, as I have no special reason to have been on either side of the dream's conflict.

- In waking life, H pointed out that Zen-Chi seems like a pretty generic name, which may even not be a name at all, since it's just two oriental words relating to the spiritual and meditative worlds.

- When Zen-Chi was dying, he had an expression of surprise on his face. I'm remembering now that one of the taunts that me or the general shouted at him was that we'd take all his woodworking tools once we were done with him.

- The dream where I was helping the boy was much longer, but because I didn't make any notes and had it very early on in the morning, very few details were retained through sleeping again and having the second dream.

- The red, black and smoke of the second dream reminded me of Stratholme in World of Warcraft. It sort of seemed to imply that the atmosphere itself was practically on fire, but during that dream I remember seeing tracer bullets and shells flying above us, very similar to a tank game I've played recently.

lx. 28th or 29th of October

Dream fragment:
Something about some "stragglers"? I remember a location, from a bird's eye point of view, it was rural, there was a big mansion/manor in the middle. Remember going there and being told to try the stragglers. Remember another dream location supposedly nearby. Looked a bit like a dump inside, it was like a giant metal container, not unlike a shipping container but bigger.

Some sort of dwarf-like people, these stragglers. I was here to mine some titanium ore or something, and they hadn't been able to find any but I did.

---

lxi. today, 31st of October

Dream fragment:
Something about my partner wanting pizza.

Dream fragment:
A dream that was half-real half-game? Everything was fine but then there was some sort of war? Remember building blocky planes or vehicles and wondering if I couldn't just stay behind to do important logistics instead of flying off.

At some point in this dream I remember a living room of some sort and some pizza, a tv and a sofa...

---

Some notes about the dreaming:

• The first dream fragment feels related to the story I started writing a couple of weeks ago as a dreaming script. I have been thinking about that story but not writing a lot on it because of my tiredness.
• The war dream and building a plane probably comes from recently trying out the game "Besiege".

Some general waking-life notes:

• I've been a bit too tired recently and just can't get up or wake up at the time I want to, and it has happened I've gone to bed later than I wanted to as well.
• Lately I've been thinking about why certain elements never come up in dreams; such as reflective surfaces and some of things I do in waking life (such as painting and drawing).
• There have been mornings where I did initially recall a small dream fragment lately, but several times I had to get up and get on with something else and I'd forget the fragments or not have focused enough on them initially to be able to make a mental or written note.
• I have been practicing reality checks quite often and especially trying to make note of when things could potentially be dream elements. But the intention or the check muscle memory doesn't seem to be carrying over at all into dreams at the moment. Maybe I need to read more again, that seems to stimulate something different.

---

Scoring:
+ Previous score: 60.5

+ This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 1.5
++ Recall a non-lucid fragment * 3: 1.5

= Total score thus far: 62.0