• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccclxxxiii. Mid-level questing and guild participation

      by , 05-09-2022 at 11:38 AM
      2022 May 7th

      8:20
      Dream:

      I'm on WoW, I'm playing as a human paladin, by the gear probably level 30ish. Model is vanilla style. I'm with a female caster, a night elf or a human, I think it changes. We're part of the same guild, one which I just joined very recently and we're doing a quest together. This is an alt for her, but this is a main for me. She has a mechanical squirrel mount. She's the same level or a bit higher and her character seems more life-like and "flowing" in terms of animations.

      There's another player nearby from the guild who is at max level. The quest me and the caster are doing requires killing an NPC that is scripted to put a certain buff on us, but I kill the NPC too fast at first. I think I apologise and get the feeling she may be annoyed by the fact I killed it too fast. A random player of a similar level appears and joins us for the quest. We do the thing properly this time and then this player leaves us again. Neither of us lost much health and I sufficiently use a holy light rank one to heal her. I think about how I wish I had flash of light.

      She quickly goes to duel the max level guildie nearby and gets very low HP, so I use some current-rank holy light casts on her. I think she's amused by all of this. She says she's spoken to management and I've been cleared (DRG intrusion) for "dungeon proc ID". I'm not sure what this means but can guess, I tell her. She tells me that she can see the raw data and where ores/herbs spawn and such like.

      Earlier. I'm with other guild members in a large communal bed thing, about seven of us I think? We're all supposedly trying to sleep. And at the foot-end of the bed there's player information, like there would be in the guild roster, but physical. I'm next to all the other paladins, I see, and many of whom are level 70, max level I think. I'm a noob in the guild. The guild has been around for seven years, I think to myself, and then I spot this paladin who's been here for five years and several months, being one of the oldest members who's still around.

      Even earlier. Something about an adventure and a town on water and natives or something. (Was not interested enough to write down recall and too tired.)

      10:00
      Fragment:

      Another WoW dream. Something about being a rogue. I'm in a forest not unlike Feralas and there are tall mountain sides near where I am. Again, something to do with a guild and a quest. I remember looking through or into a tree trunk of a large tree?

      9th
      Notes:

      - These dreams have two primary meanings that I'm seeing currently; one part is a sense of nostalgia for what playing the game was like, while the other part is the currently recurring collective aspect to my dreams lately.

      (Need to make further notes on this but am unable to concentrate enough at present)

      Updated 05-09-2022 at 06:56 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    2. ccclxxx. Sunken temple, character shading, fight between two women

      by , 05-07-2022 at 01:20 PM
      26th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about WoW. I remember discussing Sunken Temple in chat and also being near the actual place.


      28th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about drawing. I draw or notice in a character drawing, some different way of shading around the edges? (Wish I'd retained recall better)


      29th April 2022

      ~9:00
      Fragment:

      (Left recall too long, about two hours from waking)

      A dream bit where I'm either an observer or just watching in some sense. These two women are fighting each other, one of them is in her mid fourties or so and she's using a pole or something like one to attack the other woman. She has semi Asian features but would otherwise seem Caucasian, with a sort of gristly and greying black wavy hair.

      The other woman is in her mid twenties or so. She's white, has straight black hair. The area is like some outdoor stone steps, cream colours, modern architectural feel.

      As the two of them fight, the younger one starts growing, at first only her breasts but then all of her, proportionally. The older woman remarks cheekily on this and the growing younger woman complains that now she won't be able to go to the ball or gala (?) and in the end her breasts end up being smaller in proportion compared to how they were before the growth. She's also upset about the fact that she won't be able to get any clothes to fit her now.

      (Dream went on, rest of recall was lost)


      Notes:

      - Mostly some notes for the last fragment: It is not too typical for me to be present in a dream only as an observer, though it does happen. In this case however, the relation between the dream characters seems like a dynamic that might happen between some of my characters like S and N, though with a detached relationship between each other in this case.

      - The older woman had more air of confidence to herself than the younger one did, and if anything the younger woman had more anger to her. This may be a reflection of what I've found through my own conscious and waking retrospection as I've gotten older.

      - In a sense, both women were the same woman. The older woman could be said to be an altered or warped version of the younger and what she lacked in drive she made up for in the self-confidence; this seems evident from how she made a cheeky remark when the younger woman started growing, rather than being intimidated by the fact. And likewise, the younger woman's angry drive became more of a hapless confusion as the situation changed unexpectedly, her concerns turning away from the immediate fighting (perhaps because the threat appeared diminished relative to her) and onto concerns about a unspecified future (the clothes, the ball/gala).

      - A side note here, S and N appeared as characters mostly through non-conscious manifestation, whilst their development became partly consciously adopted. So for me the relationship between these two women in this dream is of special interest because it happened entirely out of a non-conscious dynamic, which evolved on its own. I had no influence or interaction, I was simply an observer, which meant that their development was not influenced by my thought, because as the type of observer I was, I had no specific thoughts, perhaps because any part of me that was capable of thought and emotion was inhabiting the women, whilst the senses themselves were not removed from my point of view, as an observer.
    3. ccclxxii. Exploring a raid on my own, Forceful woman, Pipe dealer

      by , 03-20-2022 at 10:04 PM
      3rd March 2022

      Long dream, but I left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      Something like WoW but with more Korean-style game mechanics; progression, levels, gear, and so on mostly like Lost Ark. The areas have a similar feel to that game but it plays more like WoW. Then, I enter some end-game dungeon on my own and tell T about it, via PM I think. I figure that the dungeon is too hard for me to do alone and with my current gear. Looking in the map, I think at first that it's a small instance, at least until I realise there are other layers which are much bigger.

      I decide to explore the starting area of the instance a little bit, despite actually intending to leave. The place is a bit like a mix of Onyxia's lair and Molten Core. I explore a small rock tunnel, with a sort of high and triangular shape. This tunnel is next to a different tunnel which was the entrance. In the tunnel I explore, I find Hellfire orc engineers and a number of their landmines which are invisible at first. Not confident about my ability to solo this, I use a number of shielding abilities and area of effect (Paladin?). The mines do way less damage than I was expecting, not even taking my shields off.


      5th March 2022

      Fragment:

      H has a "Velvetiser" thing (his mom showed us this, recently) and H is using the machine. I can't see much of what's going on because I seem to be sitting down. In our kitchen?

      Fragment:

      Something about H transforming into a woman and being nearby or narrating. This (other) somewhat fat woman sits naked on top of my chest and is trying to get me to put my lips on her genitals. I resist and feel distressed by the forceful nature of what seems to be going on, being put off by the fact there is an odd taste or smell. I feel abused. (This feeling lingers as I wake up)


      6th March 2022

      Left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      (near end of dream) I am with H in an area with a few small warehouses. I think in the middle of some woods, although there is a "town" feeling to the place. It also feels a bit like a garden centre? We go into one of the warehouses. There are stacks and stacks of wooden organ pipes. We make some deal with a white man, short black hair, mid 40s/50s. Then, before we leave, I ask him at last something that had been on my mind: "Do you know of any similar dealers such as yourself, who deal in metal pipes instead?"

      He does give me a reply in full but I lost recall of it. I do recall the reply was to my satisfaction and I gratefully express my thanks before we leave the warehouse. It's possible he gave me some contact details. Inside the warehouse, it seemed quite dark apart from the fact that it was lit by hanging bare incandescent bulbs. Outside it's sunny. There's a bright chalk-ish white gravel which makes paths. The woods are fir of some kind.
    4. ccclxiii. Shopping around, Strange town, Visualisation

      by , 02-27-2022 at 09:36 PM
      22nd January 2022

      Fragment:

      WoW, playing with MV at one point. Something about doing duo raids and so on. Some weapon racks with axes?


      23rd January 2022

      Fragment:

      Some segment about being in a shop looking for a labcoat. Someone suggests one to me and I ask them to hold it out but I find that it doesn't really suit me and that it actually looks more like an undersized blouse.

      (gap)

      At a service station.


      27th January 2022

      Dream:

      I'm with H, we're going somewhere in a car. I think we've been at home but we're at a service station or something now. I think I need my wallet to get something to eat but I left it at home. Then, someone gets in our car after I've loaded some bags, including a bag like my laptop bag but bigger and red instead of black.

      The other person is a guy, a bit younger than either me or H. He wants to hang around with us and seems innocent enough. Something about finding a BL chest.

      (recall gap?)

      At some place like a school, before the guy appears. The place feels familiar. I go through some hidden and darker halls. At some point I need to wash my hands. I go through a creche and starting washing my hands there but stop when I remember there's a room next door with a normal (and not lower) sink.

      Some bit later. In a car with H at first. Driving up a road through or into a town. Other drivers are a bit erratic and swervy. Then eventually we're on foot. It smells like urine. We walk up to a dilapidated building. False memory of being here before. H or someone else unlocks the front door. We go in and up some stairs? Then H stays behind a little. I worry a bit and there are two hooded figures slowly moving towards him and I don't understand what he's looking at and feel worried and impatient for him to follow me.

      Not a dream, visualisation:

      I vaguely see my alter ego at some stone steps. He's climbing and turned towards the point of view, beckoning. There's a heavenly feel to the place. This all fades quickly.

      I see my alter ego with a rifle or similar sized gun, doing some kind of heist, presumably on a bank with a vault. I see this in a series of images showing different viewpoints with extreme perspective distortion, like they're CCTV footage and with few frames per second.
    5. cccxliii. Planet, Supermarket, Murdering a Horde raid group

      by , 01-09-2022 at 05:16 PM
      24th October 2021

      Scraps: Something about a planet and an RTS-like view. Before that, with a group of people.


      27th October 2021

      Scraps: I'm in a supermarket or such like and I am talking to someone about Guinness (the drink).


      28th October 2021

      Some in-line bracketed notes.

      Fragment:

      I'm outside, a green area, possibly a field in a rural area, sunny, bright, clear. (The location is realistic but the player characters are mostly as in-game, maybe perceived as slightly more realistic) There's a fairly large group of Horde players staging something over by slightly hilly corner of the field. I have an NPC forsaken rogue bodyguard, being a rogue myself, seeing in the usual third-person view.

      The AI for my bodyguard isn't especially clever, but when I come out of stealth the NPC does support me a fair bit in a logical way. Most of the Horde players don't react to my ambushes; I repeatedly target priests and mages, focusing each one down. Most of my targets are forsaken themselves and are wearing T1 gear. I employ the usual rogue tactics, stealth, ambush, cloak of shadows, vanish. During the dream, I presume part of the reason they don't get at me in full force is some shock or surprise factor, with some awareness that their collective looked a bit too passive for that to be the reason. (Possibly an intrusion from some classic videos I remember from way back when, where people sometimes ignored fights or were AFK standing around etc.)

      The last target is an enemy rogue who I have a small chase with and then end up using cheap shot and stun locking him to death in the dark cover of some bushes. (Think he was forsaken too)

      An earlier bit; something in space. It's a mix of Master of Orion II and other space games which are 3D. Something about starting a new game and not being able to pick previous locations in the galaxy. I remember being able to see one of my previous ships or avatars travelling through space, in a distant system while in some kind of strategy view.
    6. cccxl. Strange place with friends; With random friends hijacking a family car; Karazhan and MC raids

      by , 12-31-2021 at 01:24 AM
      Some in-line bracketed notes.


      12th October 2021

      (First and third dreams, long and bordering on epic, as well as being vivid, to the point that I still have decent visual recall of the last one even now)

      Fragment:

      I'm outside somewhere. There's a post-apocalypse sense. It's daytime and sunny and I'm atop a mountain of sorts. There's a crashed jet that has been here a while by the looks of it. I am descending the mountain carefully. The path I need to take isn't clear. Something about O and K (H's friends) and this feeling like a survival game. They have a base together somewhere in a cliff-side and I feel they are trying too hard at efficiency. At some point at the base of the mountain, there are undead and I fight them in first-person with a knife of some sort. H helps me in some way. This area looks crypt-like, but ruined.

      (The vastness of the game area makes me think of that area in Cybermancy that takes place on... Mars? But this feels more Earth-like environment-wise and stuff looks a bit unpolished)

      Later, night time in a village of some kind. There's an inn? Context seems more normal now though.

      Dream:

      Something about me and two other people, maybe siblings or friends. We hijack ourselves into someone's family car. We ask them forcibly to take us somewhere out of a city. It is daytime and sunny. The place we reach is some old and small fortification. It has rounded edges and is painted white but looks abandoned otherwise. The man in the car, the driver, vents his frustration about the situation at some point, and doesn't want to leave?

      Before we get out of the car, I give his wife a teal 25 euro note, as compensation for taxying us. I remember at first the notes felt just like one, but I realised they were more just stiffly rolled together. I was going to give her a yellow 20 euro note at first.

      Out of the car. There are some external stairs to the top. Inside, there's a plain room with a door that I know to be hidden behind a curtain of sorts. My companions go in there, but I don't. I go back out and up atop.

      Dream:

      I am in a place like Karazhan but even bigger. I think I tell H about it, do not recall reply. I'm with a 25-man group and HW is here I think. There's a boss that's accessible on an outdoor rampart. It's gloriously sunny and bright outside, almost over-exposed and white, but the boss is actually in a room past the end of this short-ish and curved rampart. The raid group is behind me in a hallway and someone has to go pull the boss, I say I will.

      I run in the darker flame-lit boss room and get in aggro range, then using evasion and sprint away back to the main raid group. I have cloak of shadows ready to use at any moment and I let the tank take the boss off me and the end of the hall room the raid is in. I start to deal damage, very slowly and cautiously, but nobody else does the same. I use feint regularly and the rest of the raid group starts attacking but even despite all my caution I am starting to gain too much threat. I vanish at least once to clear it off but quickly builds back up. I get targeted and end up dying.

      Somehow, in the end I still did the most damage and am revived after the fight. For some reason a few others also died but not from pulling aggro.

      My class seems to be a mix of a rogue and a paladin. When I am revived I buff with greater blessings as appropriate, which as always I find somewhat annoying to do. We go into the darker areas of this enormous alternate version of Karazhan. We walk for quite a while and go up ramps and such. At some point we come out at a bit that is like the interior of Blackrock Mountain but even more vast and a bit of a blend with some general areas of Molten Core. I realise I can mount at this point and quickly take a detour near some pouring magma bit, and take a quest there from an NPC I think.

      Then I rush back on a swift grey ram mount towards the next area's entrance. This is much more like MC now and the next boss is some kind of golem.
    7. cccxxxvii. Glaring sunset at the desk, WoW self-mailing, With an away team

      by , 10-31-2021 at 02:27 AM
      1st October 2021

      Fragment:

      I am in T's room. We're sitting together at his desk, which is facing the window. The curtains are open and it's a sunset outside. The sun keeps glaring in my face and I struggle with the brightness. At the same time, I can't get comfortable at the desk. I have a square monitor and my arms and wrists hurt with the way they rest on the desk, partly because my chair is too short. T says to do something about it then, and I get some pillows to stack on the seat.

      In the middle of all this struggling, I end up at first missing the fact that the sunset is now over and the light is on now, but the curtains are still open.

      (recall gap, the following are scraps from the same dream)

      In WoW, I am mailing an item to myself. Some kind of developer marriage is interrupted by fans.

      I am then in a Star Trek universe and am with an away team. End up in a room back on the ship where I try to use a replicator but I end up pooping myself in the room's bathroom or something.



      Notes:


      - The Star Trek locale was very reminiscent to the sets and layouts of Voyager, which I've recently been watching.
      -- In that part of the dream, I remember feeling confused at several points and many things were going against me, in terms of events playing out. I think I may have been confined to some quarters. The replicator I tried using didn't function properly, at least for anything I wanted, but I can't recall what that mighthave been anymore.

      - In the WoW segment, I was mailing an item to the same character I was playing and not an alt, something that's never been possible.
      -- I have a faint recollection of the locale being some altered version of Stormwind.

      - During the initial segment of the dream, I am struggling with issues that typically T would be more likely to struggle with, at least in regards to his room and layout. I would not have so much of an issue with the sun and would probably be appreciating it, in waking life. In a way, this dream moment is a window into my perception of his experience, on some level.

      - The experience of struggling against the glaring sunset reminds me now very strikingly of the time I was walking back home with mom, at a time of a sunset but during which I hit my head on something metal and started bleeding, all of which was caused by struggling against a glaring sunset directly ahead.
    8. cccxxxv. Gruul's lair raid with NPCs, Space stuff

      by , 10-13-2021 at 05:33 PM
      24th September 2021

      Left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too.



      26th September 2021

      There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think?

      Fragment:

      One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive.



      Notes:

      - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles.

      - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression.

      - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.
    9. ccxviii. Underwater space and Discord messaging, Adventure group at some ruins

      by , 08-29-2021 at 03:56 PM
      16th August 2021

      Left recall too long. Some in-line notes.

      Scraps:

      Some bit that initially takes place underwater but then it becomes more space-like, in a seamless way.

      RT messaging me on Discord. (but about what?)



      17th August 2021

      Fragment:

      (near the middle of a dream)

      I'm in some kind of space station (implied) but it's also like a hotel. A character that looks like Major Kira (DS9) lives here but some other characters she knows are unaware (of the fact that she lives here?). Something fast-paced is taking place.

      There was something else relating to me, but details gone.

      (some later segment)

      Outside at some ruins. It's dusk or something alike. There's a forest, maybe a pine forest. (I'm vaguely reminded of Hunger Games scenery, which I think at the time of this dream I saw MoonageDaydream had mentioned somewhere). I'm in a party group with MoonageDaydream and a random dream character. Moonage is separate from us at first, but then she comes to find us when I spot two solid chests (WoW) and tell the group to roll for the chests. I pass on rolling; I see the random DC's roll in a chat log.

      Another three-person group approaches us. They take one of the chests, which I find annoying; I don't think we can do anything about it because they're not hostile. I think we guard the other chest until Moonage arrives, because it would be hers to loot I think. (On waking I realised it would have been a better option to open the chest without auto-looting and keeping it open until she got there)

      (When I first spot the chests I think I wonder why I didn't have my treasure finding racial on. And all of this segment took place in first person but with UI elements present.)
    10. cccxvii. False position, sword in the water

      by , 08-29-2021 at 03:46 PM
      14th August 2021

      Had several long dreams but recall became very fragmented.

      Fragment:

      In a tower or castle of sorts. I have a position of power or influence, but whenever I try to get anything done find that my position is just a facade and a farce. At some point I'm in a treasure room of sorts. There are illuminated displays (did I mean display pedestals/stands?).

      Then another bit, something about a sword in water, in a sea but nearer the coast. Looks a bit like Azshara. The sword is unique in some way and belonged to a female character?



      Notes:

      - I think the sword thing and possibly female character may relate to thinking of conversations I'd had with OccipitalRed. The dream theme reminds me of some medieval trope (Warcraft is a medieval-style fantasy too) and the water/sea most likely relate to their non-conscious symbolic aspects.
      -- Interestingly I associate Azshara both with the land of that name and with female Naga in general. There's a lot of close associative linking going on here.

      - At the time of the dream, the position I had in the dream seemed relevant to something relating to waking life, but I cannot recall what anymore.
    11. cccxiv. Underground cult

      by , 08-05-2021 at 06:41 PM
      4th August 2021

      Poor recall, didn't feel particularly motivated to write initial notes either.

      Fragment:

      First I'm in some kind of hidden little place. It reminds me of a chapel. Arabesque. There's a woman and she helps me in some way? I stop some psycho in our midst from killing someone because I already knew he was going to try something, as I saw a hidden blade in his hand, but I wait until I can catch him in the act.

      There's some context of a cult. Cho'Gall makes a brief appearance, we speak or maybe I eavesdrop, not sure. At some point I'm getting ready to leave and everyone is wishing me goodbye. I have a lot of things to carry, two backpacks and some other items, plus my old boots to carry in my hand because I'd put away my newer ones in the backpack by mistake. I feel pressed so decided I should swap them later on.

      (gap)

      I'm outside, at the entrance to that place. It's a little secluded cove bit, with sand, water and so on. It's sort of below a bigger hotel complex that is on top of a reinforced hill. (certain aspects remind me of old home but details are gone)

      At some point, I start jumping from place to place, over the water. I find some secret collectible books and think that they are quite obvious finds and that they need to try harder. At the edge of town(?) or something, there are some ancient ruins, half Greek, half Elvish. On some level, I dismiss this as part of an asset mismatch or incorrect loading (as if this was part of a game).

      (another dream later on but recall was lost)



      Notes:

      - It's peculiar that Cho'Gall appeared in the dream. He's not a character I've ever had any particular attraction to but also not an unmemorable character for me. Considering his intellect in lore, I feel that his symbolic meaning may relate to brutish wisdom or some part of hidden wisdom, a concept a bit reinforced by the fact that he is a cult leader, both in this dream and during certain events in WoW lore (i.e. Cataclysm for one?).

      - There was something familiar to the architecture both of the hotel and the "hidden" chapel place, reminds me of some hotels I remember we stayed at when I was a kid.
    12. cccix. "Watch out for the hunter", Blood wine and disagreements

      by , 07-30-2021 at 01:16 AM
      27th July 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm climbing up some semi-ruined concrete structures. A kangaroo person of sorts is following after me.

      Then, something about needing to go to a supermarket and something about school. I'm on a flat rooftop and I get a bag with stuff in it?

      Fragment:

      Something about playing a level 83 warlock. Unknown zone, hilly and deforested, partially ravine-like with cliffs on either side and there's a river running along the centre. I meet a bear form druid that tells me to look out for a tauren hunter in the area. The druid is level 110 or something. In the dream I know max level to actually be 80 but I understand that it can go up to 110 to gain some small extra bonuses or something.

      At one point I see the tauren hunter in the distance. He's across a lake area where the river ends. On selecting the hunter, the profile status bar is green, not red, implying he's not hostile. I think his pet is finishing off a mob while he loots or skins something else.

      Fragment:

      Something about a flood of blood wine and a group of five or six klingons, we all need to drink so much of it in order to get away or be able to call a lift. There are disagreements on what to do and who should be doing what.




      Notes:


      - I used to be more into Star Wars than Star Trek but over the last few years I've spent some time re-watching Star Trek stuff that I had mostly forgotten about. In Star Trek, most races and characters fit certain symbolic archetypes and motifs very easily, so I think situations such as this with the klingons draw from that aspect, partly based on my conscious and non-conscious perceptions and thoughts about the lore.
      -- Incidentally, I think this is the first time I've dreamt of klingons.
      -- I'd like to write some thoughts on potential symbolic aspects but a bit too tired right now.

      - Unfortunately I lost visual recall of the last fragment because I left writing these for a couple of days without thinking about them again in the meantime.
    13. ccci. Meeting at a church, Visiting an in-dream dream location, Living in a mall

      by , 07-11-2021 at 07:03 PM
      11th July 2021

      ~7:30
      Fragment:

      Transitioning from the TBC era to WLK era. T is there as his paladin at one point. There's something very Roman-esque about the setting? We need to complete some gold-payment quest to continue on into the city. There's a group of randoms with us, part of our party.

      Fragment:

      In a place like L, by the pier area I think. There's a lot of commotion because of an upcoming football match. It's dark-ish, twilight-like, orange and purple hues in the sky? I want to take the subway to go somewhere, but first I got into this church. Many people are leaving an on-going service in the church but many still remain.

      Aunt G enters the church, I notice her and approach, getting her attention. She eventually recognises me and I tell her we should go somewhere together (to make up for lost time?) because I realise this place is actually quite crowded. I don't entirely feel safe, I think. Someone, an older lady but not as old as my aunt, she's putting up cordons and tells us we can't go in a certain area of the church. She had white hair, maybe tied back.

      The church is artificially lit, quite a warm light which contrasts with the twilight. Originally I wanted to move towards one of the areas that was cordoned off. We end up leaving the church and heading down a nearby subway entrance.

      (recall gap)

      We are next to a guy who's a pipe maker. I tell my aunt how many churches just can't afford new pipes, even though they'd benefit from them. The pipe maker gives us a statistic; only about five-hundred thousand out of one and a half million can afford such things. I realise and remark that it's only a third. I also remark that the distribution is going to be geographically unfair or disproportionate, too.

      (after writing these two, I got up and had thoughts about WBTB as I got back in bed)


      ~10:00
      Fragment:

      Visiting a church with H. In the dream, I had a dream where I'd visited this church and it was sort of empty. So, when we're there together, I already know the layout. During the dream, this made me vaguely think of "vision quest" dreaming and that sort of thing (no doubt related to reading Dreamgates before bed). The church has an odd layout, the rooms are laid in an inwards spiralling fashion. One of the back rooms we go through is tiled and looks a bit industrial.

      It has four big cylindrical tanks, all white. They're about twice and a half our height. I understand them to be part of some boiler system. A man, possibly the warden, is showing us around the church, some kind of introduction.

      Before this, me and H are outside. We just got out of the van. It's dark? I don't remember the grounds too well but there are tall trees and low dry-stone walls. H shows me something about a painting, which resides out here, on the external church walls. The painting is very big, mostly vertical. It's about one yard wide by four yards tall.

      The painting itself is kind of sepia in tones. It has a sketch-like look. At first I just see some eyes at the top, like part of an incomplete portrait, but as I move it around (because I'm moving it to hang it on another wall), the image changes. On some level, this makes me think of those "holo" images.

      Fragment:


      At a mall place with H. We live in a flat inside the mall, accessible via an escalator through a store, it's either a clothing or jewellery store. Some people I know from school are here, there's some interaction. Rest of recall is gone.



      Notes:
      - We went today somewhere that took us the same road that we can take when we went to see a pipe maker. This was recently, so I wonder if that dream theme was influenced by this.

      - The TBC->WLK dream theme probably came from a nostalgia of the actual WLK period and from having some interest in its classic revival. On the other hand, I have little or no interest in paying to play the game, especially since there's very little social motivation for me to do so. The last time I went on, the atmosphere was more "toxic" than I recalled, something I found hugely disappointed, making me feel like some people just never grow up. Perhaps when I played many years ago, I was just that much younger that I didn't think much of it/just ignored it or maybe it wasn't that far removed from daily life, but now it would just bother me.
      -- I still find WoW dream themes to be fairly enjoyable, since they do tend to focus on the sense of adventure, combat or exploration, which were feelings that were much more present in me when I was younger. I haven't felt a genuine sense of wonder about anything at all for many years.

      - In the area where I used to live, the mall has flats over it. Although the mall in the dream had a more "airport-shops" feel to it, the rest of the associations seemed fairly close to memory of home.
    14. ccxcvi. Helping others and fighting alone or against odds

      by , 07-04-2021 at 10:03 PM
      3rd July 2021

      Fragment:

      (long dreams, recall was good at first, but didn't make enough of an effort to start noting them down)

      Some kind of RPG shooter, maybe a mix of Borderlands and something else, in which I'm helping two other people with a boss. I change to the highest difficulty and also to my best character, on the fly. I become aware that the gear drops will now possibly come with requirements the other players I'm helping won't be able to meet, but I consider that it really shouldn't matter in the long run and should actually be beneficial. It's a small and kind of dark room, can't remember much else about the location.

      (recall faded too much) I'm in a dropship of some kind and I'm next to a tank-like vehicle. We're dropping into a small combat zone, feels like some kind of last-effort push kind of thing? The tank feels like the DRG 'dozer in terms of shape, but bigger, wider. More like a SC Fatboy, but smaller in overall scale.

      Some bit later in a sea rig, also with the dropship or the tank, some family there too?



      4th July 2021

      Fragment:

      Some bit about WoW. At first I'm playing a warrior and I have a huge two-handed weapon, looks very much like Sul'Thraze, but although my character isn't one, the attack animations are that of a troll character.

      It's an unfamiliar and novel area, completely original to the dream as far as I can recall. There's some bit later on, taking place on a small natural incline, grassy and a bit rocky. The colours are all very muted and towards purple hues all the way throughout, there are a few stone ruins. At this last point I'm playing an underleveled warlock and trying to help in a high level group fight.



      Notes:
      - Before bed on the first night, I read the Dreamgates parts in the centre of the book about creativity and read the exercise there again too also while in bed.
      -- I have really enjoyed this part so far and it has been motivating to read and re-read it, especially since I feel I've been accomplishing so little lately.

      - The WoW dream was mostly residue of actual feelings while playing the game, but the troll thing felt a bit different, perhaps because WoW trolls have this tribal aspect associated to them and because of Dreamgates making me think about Shaman-related things

      - Not sure if I've ever had a dream take place in a sea rig before, but possibly.
    15. ccxcv. Creating a quest, working on a comic

      by , 07-04-2021 at 09:44 PM
      2nd July 2021

      Fragment:

      In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think.

      There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme.

      (recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing.

      The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen.

      I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule.

      And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now.



      Notes:
      - Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind.
      -- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough.

      - Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic.
      -- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long.

      - Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly.
      -- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style).

      - When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me.
      -- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.
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