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    9sk

    Commentary on my written out "perfect dream" idea

    by
    9sk
    , 02-28-2019 at 10:20 PM (552 Views)
    This is not a dream. A long time ago, I wrote a short story of sorts trying to imagine how I'd beat the dream. The story with no commentary except at the end is here, and the TLDR is basically the following elements I analyzed from previous amazing dreams combined together to create a story that sounds like my ideal dream:

    • Companionship Focus.
    • Fantasy element.
    • Conflict.
    • Light/dark balance.
    • Novelty element.
    • Vague location.
    • "Softened ending"
    • Use of music
    • Use of conversation
    • powerful moment


    The story is as follows:

    It is complete darkness. [This is inspired from True Synthesia, where I gave myself the ability to see music as colors, which was greatly helped by the pure black background)

    There is a timer and a robotic voice .... The display says 300 SECONDS in all red. Then the robotic voice counts down as the clock displays 299. [The sci-fi nature always appealed to me, and SERENDIPITY showed this off perfectly. The "number in red" actually occurred later in [I]Bittersweet Lovestory[I] where a number in red appeared]

    I am instantly aware ....In a good old underwater bazaar, I'm walking down the streets, with medieval Scottish music playing. There is even a piano there... [Underwater was from OZ&SHIOM, and I thought the music theme might help along with my love for the piano]

    270 on the timer I saw; I still had a lot of time, so I decide to play a nice melody that synchronizes and echoes the medieval music well, even though it is more of the science-fiction remix Skrillex style. After I play.... I am looking for something as a birthday present for my friend Jamie. [Jamie was actually the girl I liked from the time that I had written this]

    I wonder what to buy, but nothing seems good. People are selling scraps of metal, paint, and hot dogs among with other foods...With great tension, I search more carefully. Then, I see a man also selling fireworks. Finally, something decent, I think, then go to him and try to haggle for him. Time was running low, so I quickly managed to get a low price. 215. Close call... [Fulfills the "conflict" aspect with little risk of pain]

    I teleport to a different place where I will execute my mission. Wearing a casual-business style outfit, my heels click against the fancy marble floor as I walk forward to an elevator. It is mysterious and a bit dark but I am only filled with the emotion of curiosity along with interest. [The "business but mysterious" fits the mood that Mastermind bought me from OZ&SHIOM] A mysterious narrator whispers incoherently, before finally stating: "I will show you... Selcarim." I walk into the elevator and enter a palace of wonders. The art is amazing, along with ultra-realistic scuptures. The air is fresh and the mood is breezy along with being quite relaxing. 196 seconds left. I walk onto a gateway where I see Jamie there, sitting on what looked like a fancy boat polished with yellow and orange flames painted on the metal, and she invited me to join her.

    I sit beside her. The narrative once again whispers something incoherent before stating once again: "I loved taking those rides on the Retsoac." The song "Burn" begins to play in the background. And with a whoosh, the boat rushed forward. 170, 169,168. Food rained from the sky and we took the hot dogs, hamburgers, and mexican tacos, eating them up, the hot salty taste sizzling in my mouth. The flames became real, but both of us only felt a reassuring unharming heat, warm and friendly, almost as if it was sentient. 140 seconds left. The time was reaching short. ["Adventure of Tasting Meat" showed that food tasted great in dreams]

    ... The narrator continues his explanation..." Lights appeared below, great lanterns floating up to us,the grand sky opening. 110, 109, 108... As the song still playing in the back transitions to its chorus-- "And we gonna let it burn, burn, burn..." -- Blue diamonds dazzle all around us in the sky, flashing from left to right, feeling as if they are passing through us, with blazing fireworks all around the blue diamonds. The diamonds seem to be a sentient being... [the "Lantern festival" was one of my goals, and the blue diamonds was inspired by a dream involving "Merkaba" from dream journal]

    .... "Yes, he is--I am--the Rotarran." A blip indicates I was speaking in code all along. Rotarran rewinds to Narrator. Flashing back to the boat, Feileb was belief, and cigam was magic. Even before that, Retsoac was coaster. Flashing even before that, within the market, I had actually bought from every single person there and used all the products. Despite their looks of simplicity, I had managed to make the result very fancy... [This mystery is a bit stupid if you think about it, but I found the idea of reversing things kinda cool]

    "You don't always have infinite time," 40 seconds, "You have to manage your resources carefully....it's not about what you have. It's about how you use them. Selcarim does not exist without persistence or hard work,"....Even little moments that are not considered Selcarim must be treasured." ..."... Because, in reality, Selcarim is..." And as I kiss Jamie with a meteor shower flying over us-- 10 seconds....the title in fancy font appears. [I tried thinking and writing out a valuable lesson, compared to other dreams about friendships, this is actually quite deep]

    SELCARIM -- The timer quickly counts down the final seconds, as the landscape shifts around us, flowers growing, anticipating reaching a higher level.
    (countdown...)

    Then it is reversed, with the result being...
    ....
    MIRACLES
    [The mystery is finally solved and it's like a movie's credit scene]
    0:00 SECONDS. Perfect timing.

    The kiss lingers on my lips as I wake up. [This goes back to a lot of romantic dreams where it ends with a great kiss]

    So to recap, I basically believed that a combination of a countdown, medieval scene with music, transitioning to a cool business-like scene, preparing a surprise for my crush, and eating food on a rollercoaster with her all leading up to a surprise ending, would be able to beat my favorite dream. I do still believe that this story is strong enough to beat my current favorite (which is actually still the same), but the countdown and the twist are indeed very hard to pull off, and the business scene seems a bit unnecessary, even if adding further mystery to the story.

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    Updated 06-25-2020 at 04:06 PM by 92249

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    1. Yar's Avatar
      Nice idea for the perfect dream...but wouldn't this be better posted in a different more relevant section of the forum?
    2. 9sk's Avatar
      I mean, this was like an idea years ago, and I just didn't want to go back to deviantart each time I wanted to check back on Selcarim