Conscience

Note: I would normally separate dream (1) into 2 dreams, but they're kinda connected, because in both dreams there was a voice which told me I can summon things by expecting them to appear

Date: Apr 30
Sleep length: 7.5h
Techniques: DILD
Dream Summary:
(1) I was located at the middle of an ocean. There was no land around me, I basically didn't have a body in this dream, my eyes just levitated above the water. I heard a voice telling me to imagine a ship. It was the voice of a teacher. I started to see a ship. It was long, very white and clean, with some red stripes. Then the voice said I should imagine that it's levitating... and of course it started levitating then. It started to look more like a train and less like a ship. And it started to turn into 2 ships, a (still) long one, and an almost spherical one.
Then I was at a completely different location. I was in a forest, with big trees. The reason I'm merging those 2 locations into one dream is because I still heard the voice telling me what to imagine/expect. As if the voice was trying to tell me that anything I expect starts to exist. But I was too stupid to become aware of the situation. There was a row of people, and they all started trying to create big trees. I should have created one too, but I didn't want to, I just stood up and looked at the trees the other people have created. Some trees were beautiful, others were grey and almost looked like concrete. One tree was crooked and broken. Then I found I person I hate in wake life, li. The weird thing is, I get along with her in my dreams, as if we're friends. Maybe it's a message by my subconscious that I should give her a chance before judging her. The tree she has summoned was amazing. I laid down on the ground, it was very sunny and I looked up at her tree. I think I couldn't even see the top, it was huge. There were no branches either. The last thing I remember about this dream is being rather content and seeing her smiling.
(2) This is only a fragment, really. I've been in a desert, or maybe somewhere else, but in any case it was pretty dry and warm/hot. There was an AV star, but I didn't find her attractive. She was about 40 or so, and she was on a swing. We were talking about something, but I don't remember the topic. I guess I woke up then
Vividness/Awareness: 2/2
Emotions: content
Tags: levitating ship, small ship, forest, big trees, li, teacher;; AV star, swing, desert

Date: Apr 28
Sleep Length: 5h

Note: I don't expect much recall the next few days due to substances that decrease recall.
Therefore I might try CAT.

Note: This is the first dream in about 3 years in which I can feel 'touch'. Unlike 3 years ago, the sensation wasn't more intense than in wake life, it was pretty equal

Date: Apr 27
Sleep Length: 4h + 5h
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
Dream Summary:
(1) Yesterday I spent the whole day on DV, so of course I'm dreaming of DV. It was a house and there was a bunch of people doing sleep experiments and trying stuff. I decided I wanna do one of those experiments, so I went into a certain room. It looked a bit like a hospital, there were some beds and on the beds there were camels, huge camels, with some pillows on their backs. One has lost its pillow, so I gave it another one. Then I climbed on top of it. For some reason the whole room was underwater now. I had some glasses and decided to wear them, then I realized I can see very clearly underwater. Sadly one of those glasses broke and I couldn't see that well anymore. I kinda managed to destroy many glass in the room (unintentionally). People were angry at first, but then we all laughed about it. I think we were talking about the movie "Finding Nemo" then. That's my favorite movie for children.
Later when I wanted to go there was another group which tried this experiment. They were all sleeping and some of them were naked for some reason. I was curious, I wanted to feel the camel skin/hair, so I approached it and touched it. Then I've actually felt it. I guess I never feel in my normal dreams because I don't focus on touch so much. The reason I'm starting to feel in my dreams now might be Daytime awareness.
I also met someone who was surprisingly nice to me.
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10): 5/2
Emotions: curiosity
Tags: DV, experiment, camel, glasses, underwater, breaking, touch

Date: Apr 26
Sleep Length: 4h + 5h
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
Dream Summary:
(1) I was at a resort. It was quite hot, so it was probably in july or in august. Most of the time I was at a pool with my little brother. We were alone there and I had a fun time with him. There was a huge boat with 2 beds in it (in the end there were suddenly 3) and the place was beautiful. I think there was a bunch of pine trees and it was at the edge of a cliff. There was a small shower, like those beach showers, and the water went into the abyss. There was a sea and a small city at the horizon. It looked like a croatian or greek city. The ground was a bit yellowish/orange and brown. It was dusty and dry, like a desert. Anyway, we started to have some kind of fight coz we both wanted to have the boat, but it wasn't a serious fight, nobody was angry. He wanted to give me some other stuff, like the shower, to make amends or something. It doesn't really make sense, but in the end we simply both used it.
Then we celebrated some family reunion, felt like christmas but it was in summer. We were still kinda at the pool but also kinda not (which should have made me suspicious). We were talking about a dog of someone. The owner gave it a sandwich with cucumbers and meat and it was always on her lap. I've seen it very clearly. Looked like a poor dog
(2) My mother said my grandparents are coming and I was upset because I wanted to study for an exam. I looked out of the window and saw my grandpa's car. But it was a bit confusing, they were never really here, they were always skiing with my sister I think. I thought my mother was gonna be out of town, but then I was told everyone believes there was a ghost, and they've seen weird flashes of light and they thought it's a ghost. I didn't think it's ridiculous in my dream, I didn't believe it either... I was indifferent
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10): 3/1
Emotions: less angry; confused, indifferent
Tags: resort, brother, bed-boat, pool, christmas?, family, dog on lap, sandwich for dog;; light flash, slope, ghost

Date: Apr 25
Sleep Length: 6h
Techniques: DILD
Dream Summary:
(1) I was at a place where I could eat free food. (Perfect dream, haha). It was like a cafeteria, I seemed to go there every morning and there was a bunch of people my age (like 100-200). Maybe it was kinda like a special school, idk. There were special kinds of food, like some chocolate-nut mix, weird yellow berries (Physalis I think), loads of orange juice and semi-opaque bluish jelly. the place with the hundred people was downstairs, upstairs there were about 10 people, which seemed to be more arrogant and "better" or smarter (teachers? rich nerds?). I almost always accidentally went to the "better" people at first, until I realized I'm at the wrong place and went downstairs.
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10): 1/2
Emotions: happy about the food, pretty anti-social
Tags: PT, morning, free food, chocolate nut, yellow berries (Physalis?), orange juice, stairs

Note: recall after 1 hour, I moved too much

Note: I forgot most of the dream because I moved in my bed, I remembered it 20 minutes after I woke up. I don't know why I remembered it, it just came to me. I had the feeling that I have had 3 dreams, but I only remembered one.
I had an important exam today, so I didn't think about my dreams.

Date: Apr 24
Sleep Length: 8h
Techniques: DILD
Dream Summary:
(1) I was at a municipal public pool with my father and sister, and I was gonna use a slide like in my childhood. when I was at the end of the slide I saw a japanese girl, a bit younger than me. Since I like japanese culture I tried to talk to her. I said some japanese phrases and she said some phrases as well, I understood parts of it, then she tried speaking german. We were at some weird place, it seemed to be close to the pool but it looked like a room in a basement... pretty weird. Oh, she said something like konbanwa [...], and I didn't understand her.
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10): 2/2
Emotions: none?
Tags: public pool, family, slide, conversation: japanese, languages

Date: Apr 23
Sleep Length: 7h
Techniques: DILD
Dream Summary:
(1) I'm in class, sitting next to li, I'm getting along with her extraordinarily good, her laughter looks stupid though, I can remember seeing her face which means it was fairly vivid, the teacher said she doesn't know what the bell sounds like, and I exchanged with some student (AG) sheets/candy, the sheets were from a test and he failed
(2) at home, I look at my scars on my shoulder and I'm angry coz it doesn't heal faster, I'm in front of a cupboard, changing my plasters, then I'm in the living room and my mothr tries to call the grandparents (with a wrong number). Then they're suddenly there because I was thinking of them (I guess), and when I tried to find their number in my address book they saw stuff they weren't supposed to see. then my mother showed me a "report" in front of my room. It was folded like a letter, apparently it was for raspberry syrup and it was written in black capitals. She told me this is what a report is supposed to look like. I assume the words were gibberish
(3) I was with (LR) and we went through an underpass and met a bunch of girls who were going to a party or something. we knew some of them, those I didn't know resembled other people I know (which made me think "Something isn't right", but sadly I didn't go lucid)
(4) I was kinda watching a movie but I was also somehow part of it. We were in the forest (family) and we were playing around and we got to a pond. when we went there the second time it was suddenly kinda blurred and strange and I thought it was because of a nuke or some weird bomb. I was looking for my family (thought they died, strangely emotion was indifferent/curious), I found my siblings playing on a meadow and looking through a hole in a rock, on the other side was a red light which looked like fire. The meadow was cold, the grass was bluish, it looked like an autumn day/dusk
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10): 6/5
Emotions: don't remember
Tags: in class, next to li, teacher: bell, AG: exchange sheets, candy;; at home, scars, number from grandparents, report (syrup, capslock, folded like a letter);; underpass, group of girls, party, almost lucid;; movie, lake, atomic bomb

Date: Apr 22
Sleep Length: 4.5h - (WBTB) - 6h (= 10.5h)
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
I also wrote down what happened to me that day, which is said to help dream recall
Dream Summary:
(1) I was dreaming about my piano classes and my piano teacher. I arrived in the classroom and there was a bunch of other musicians, but I don't like music groups, so I just sneaked away. I'm not sure if this is part of the same dream, but I was also having a rehearsal with 2-3 of my friends for some sing and dance show. We did some weird group dance and we weren't bad, but we were bad when the audience was watching.
(2) I was in the bathtub, and basically just thinking about stuff. I was thinking about posters I've seen on the streets. They seem to have been about fetishes, like japanese domina, bdsm and stuff like that. Probably because my father who's been in japan has seen such things
(3) I tried to remember this dream, but I was afraid I'd forget dream (1) then. I remember a fragment about a hill, and someone has been acting like a slut. There were rumors or we were talking behind her back, idk, in any case it felt like an american high school movie
(4) I was meeting a friend of mine (V), IWL he has a plane, in my dream I had a plane, and he kinda borrowed it. It was a small plane, but I loved it. For some reason there was a pixel mario drawn onto the door. I wasn't actually dreaming it, but I imagined using that plane to go skydiving. For some reason I checked his steam account (what a deep dream sign) and noticed he played lots of pokemon recently... go figure
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 3/2/30
Emotions: mostly indifferent
Tags: piano, teacher, group musicians, stage;; bathtub (morning), fetish (posters);; hill, slut;; plane, skydiving V, games

Note: I'm happy about my dream recall quantity. 2 dreams per awakening. Odd detail: when I woke up for WBTB, I remembered 3 dreams and wrote tags down. When I woke up in the morning I didn't remember anything about dream (4). When I wrote down the other dreams, I started to remember more details about dream (1) and suddenly recalled dream (4)

Date: Apr 21
Sleep Length: 4.5h - (WBTB) - 1h light sleep
Techniques: DILD + WBTB (+WILD)
I got up for WBTB and thought I could try WILD. I killed some time and got back to bed, but then hunger started to distract me. WILD was impossible (I tried but distraction was too much), I tried to sleep, but I could barely fall asleep. I rolled over and over and couldn't find a comfortable spot, after an hour I got up and gave up (WBTB failed)
Dream Summary:
I dreamed that a friend of mine (K) was my girlfriend, even though I don't have feelings for her. She seemed to be pissed off or angry at me, but I can't remember why. In any case, she was doing chores in my sister's room. I offered her to cuddle and calm down, but I don't remember the rest.
Another fragment: I remember being at an old looking house, everything was a bit rusty or dirty. but there was an elevator (small but it worked). I think I did something in the kitchen, but I forgot the rest while trying to remember the first fragment
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 2/1/5
Emotions: mostly indifferent
Tags: girlfriend, annoyed, cuddle, chores; house, elevator

Note: I woke up before my alarm went off

Note: still no proper dream, never mind LD, but it's only the 3rd day after all... gotta have patience!

Date: Apr 20
Sleep Length: 4h + 3h (7h)
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
I just wanted to sleep. WBTB was a mistake.
I did lots of RC and Daytime Awareness before.
Dream Summary:
You can't call that a dream. I simply remember I was being a girl... for some reason. I'm not transgender, but I was being a girl.
edit: I just remembered I was wearing a shirt with a quote by someone called Harry or Henry, it was something satiric or cynic, and a friend of mine (L.R.) asked me if I was wearing a shirt by that Harry/Henry and we were talking about it
*happy that I suddenly remembered another fragment*
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 0/0/0
Emotions: none
Signs: none
Tags: transsexual?, girl

Date: Apr 19
Sleep Length: 4.5h + 3.5h (8h)
Techniques: SSILD + DILD
I almost accidentally did WILD after I prepared SSILD. I was falling asleep (SP), my mind was still half awake, I could almost enter a dream after I've seen lights and flashes, then I woke up again.
SSILD failed probably because it took me very long to fall asleep after the cycles (~20 mins) and I have to get used to the situation of getting up at 3:30 and doing meditation
Dream Summary:
You can't call that a dream. I simply remember an underground garage and my stepmom
during SSILD I had one FA (I think). I wasn't really asleep
Vividness (1-15), Awareness (1-10), Length (min): 0/0/0
Emotions: none
Signs: none
Tags: Underground garage, stepmom

Note: I drank alcohol before I went to bed (beer and wine), which probably affected my dream recall and sleep

this is my first entry
Apr 18, I can't remember anything from last night. I tried some kind of Mantra and RC, I fell asleep quickly, when I woke up I immediately asked myself "What did I dream?", but there was no memory
I didn't expect much, as this is my first try after 2 and a half years.

now I will write down previous memories that might be important (2011)
Noteworthy recurring details:
big rooms and halls
locations I know with a little change (eg: there's a river instead of a street, clover instead of grass, etc)
open terrain (streets, fields, nature, outside), rarely rooms (if so, normally big rooms)
perspective: It's like I don't have a body, only flying eyes. Pretty passive, normally only observing things. The only dreams in which I had a body were pretty intense/vivid (almost lucid), I normally don't smell/feel/taste, only in intense dreams

I just read my old DJ from 2011 and 2012 and noticed I dreamed less often than I thought.
My quantity record on a day was 4 dreams. My quantity record in a week was about somewhere between 5 and 10 dreams, even though I never dreamed more than 4 days a week and never more than 3 days in a row
it took me pretty long to get a better recall, which is a bit demotivating, but I might learn quicker this time, because I was already able to remember my dreams fairly good (for my standards, I guess I was never good)