false awakening

7/19/14
On a trip. At mall. Sears. Make my way past miscellaneous stores; overall path is a D shape with the curve being the mall and the straight line is the parking lot and my way back to point A from point B. Big movie theater with areas to sit and a huge ramp-like area to watch from with people laying and/or sleeping on it. Sealed door exit from the theater. But a guy comes in through sealed door. I can go out then and I do. This looks like way back to my car. Somewhere in here I'm thinking that I haven't gotten a hotel yet. I can use my phone to search for hotel deals. Walking in parking lot I see my wife's cousin N with his nice convertible. This has to be a dream to run into you here out of town! Yup! I do some of my I know I'm a lucid challenges basically bragging but it's great for confidence...I say to him, hey can I have sex with ( his wife's name). "It would be like" and I make the motions as if his wife is laid out on the hood of his convertible. I say you could have sex with (insert my wife's name). This was somehow much more fun than it sounds and just acting it out around the hood of his car felt a lot like doing it. I think: Down to goals! I think I want to do the planet one next. I considered doing it with the elevator one but no
elevator around right now so just decide to fly up into space - way up and it gets dark I can't see anything but I stay calm fly up some more and then decide that I will just freefall until I hit a planet. (Note: It is my dream, I can make that work no matter how improbable IWL, LOL! In the dream I only thought that I can make this work. I didn't even go there with thinking about it being improbable IWL.) I simulate to myself a soft landing and I get it...I basically just find myself on solid ground as if I floated there like a feather. I can see through kind of a window or space into this other room or void (this is probably the dream reforming the environment after the void and free fall) and there are green rocks that have a lot of straight lines kind of like blocks thrown together creating odd shaped rocks, not unlike crystal formations. I cross through and there is big huge rocky formation that looks like it has teeth. I studied for a moment so that I can remember it later. The teeth are jagged kind of like sharks teeth. But the rest of it is not really shaped like creature really more like a big rock. I look around the room or space and there is another set of different shaped items that I come back to later but two of the items are shaped kind of like elongated travel chests. I could
see something move off in the corner of the room the distance but when I look over there there's nothing. I walked over that way and I say "I come in peace" while holding up my right hand while kind of laughing to myself . I am creating my own cheesy 50's Alien movie here I think to myself. He comes back out. It is very difficult to describe what he looks like but he is a short creature maybe 2 feet tall . As for something you would find on the earth, he is most like an octopus perhaps but the base that he walks around on is a little more rectangular shaped than circular like an octopus. He has a bit of a goofy friendly face and is kind of a grayish bluish color. I try a line from one of my previous lucid dreams and I say "bring me one of your hottest alien women." A doll looking thing comes down from above on a rope. It becomes more and more lifelike, and more human woman like as this plays out. The rope is around her and slipping up and down her body pulling up her white nightgown and revealing her naked body. It is strangely erotic. I will
leave out the rest of the sexual stuff with her but I may share by PM if requested. This space looks a lot like a big house. I decide to go back to look and kind of draw out all of the items on a sketch pad that I summon to help me remember this dreamscape, to really lock it into my memory. I go back over by the elongated chests but the chests are no longer there but I study the rest of the items but I drop the idea of drawing them. There are two clear glass bowls with a clear liquid in them. One has round multicolor items in it that look like fruits. The other one has some loaf shaped items sticking up out of it. It looks like it was set out for a party. I go off to my left and sure enough it's kind of liked a little party with my son there and some other people. Either I am back on earth now or they came up to visit! I then see my son's friend C and I think about how everyone talks about how promiscuous she has become. Not sure if she is still in college IWL. I think of another test / brag to my lucidity. I told my son I'm going to get it on with his friend C. I start to mount her and I see her luscious lips and switch gears and stick it in her mouth. She does a very nice job. Wow!!
After a bit of that the dreams fades back to bed but I remember that I to always have to check to see if it's a real awakening...but alas it is this time. I was reminded yesterday to put more of myself in the self awareness work. I also switched up my SSILD somatic cycle a little and did some self awareness work during WBTB which I shortened. I also woke up closer to 5.5 hours after bed for WBTB whereas the last few nights were around 4.5 and I seemed too tired to make it work right. Woke from dream around 7 something. 175

Late Late dream 10 a.m. Young guy is broadcasting himself in his bedroom on justin.tv for a long time. At this point it is on the news...his girlfriend got shot through the bedroom window while he was broadcasting and I said what are the chances of that...that can't be...that's impossible. Then a playback of all the stuff that happened before the shooting. His run in with some other teenagers at school, they call him something weak and they have some kind flipping competition to see who could do standing flips. The scene where his girlfriend was shot had him holding her in bed rolling around and it just did not look natural like he was acting, but it did not make me lucid either...none of this thinking that all this was impossible. The dream explained it away. Oh well, had my awesome LD already.

7/21/14 FA: hearing the alarm turn off warning stop without key punch sounds made me realize I am dreaming. I never really understood people feeling sleepy in a lucid dream until this time. I felt like dozing off within my lucid, so I did. 176

071814 a guy is telling me about all these cool artifacts he found...I'm seeing them visually like I'm in video game. Golden breastplate, etc. Thai government is looking for him (movie at bedtime=character is in Thailand before heading to Cambodia).

7/17 crater in ocean. Where I was when 17, recurring dream. Go back for son. Hydrofoil boat. Coach M has game at 6pm. L on sons grades, report card. "Lucid" is written out on grades in one place but instead of a clue that I am dreaming, I worry that wife will see. Coach M talks about how he lost his father. I relay this to my son. Looking for school office helps with college apps. It is after 5pm but she's still there (5am? Wake 545am). Lady sits funny almost showing up skirt. A skills test is done: measure the area of two adjacent tables....easy. Life lessons you need I guess.

7/14/14* My previous DJ entry was up there with my all time favorites. I just loved the setting and vividness. Tonight near lucid then lucid later. I'm in a parking garage. Guy pulls up in a car with a tarp over a big part of it. What do you have under there? He says he doesn't need to tell me. We need to know (am I police or security or something?). First thought=could be bomb! Then, it could be kidnapped kids...Sure enough dream comes up with 2 kids under the tarp. Some other guy struggles with guy that came in the car and also with the kids who are being brats. A relatively big tough guy nearby wants to stop me from intervening. "The three of us can take you," I start to say. He says some threats related to him not being afraid to go back to jail. I back off...wake=FA. I think to myself if I was lucid I could have knocked him around with TK! Tough guy and I are sharing a sleeping space now? I'm on couch and he crawls over me slowly...to go to the bathroom? I can feel him stepping on the couch in several places trying to make his way over me. I pretend to be asleep. When he gets back he seems to be cuddling me... Hell no, I think...uh...I need to go pee. I get up and say something like "gotta stop drinking so much water...gotta pee all the time (excuse)." I look back at him. He has this weird peeking eye?..One eye is slightly open but he is also snoring so I assume he is asleep. His feet are up on the couch and his upper half on the floor, face up. I head to the bathroom and I have to pull 2 doors together to lock it in a very loose fashion and I can still see out. While I am urinating I see a lady with a spotlight on her doing burlesque! I'm dreaming! I approach her. She changes to a different woman and then back. She is not really slender, dark hair and is in black lingerie. I think let's look around while doing a little dancing with her but I can't focus on the surroundings much. I start to have intercourse with the dancer lady standing up. Someone says "here's Mom" and a older motherly figure and an older fatherly figure show up. I take this as a test to my lucidity and think: no worries! I say "Hey mom, check her out" as I continue intercourse. "Hey check out these breasts" and I remove her bra..."nice breasts, right?!" Ok...let me get down to goals...I want to find Dreamer for the Bonus TOTM, but not here, not like this. I will teleport...closed eye
teleport. I say I want to arrive in a beautiful and vivid world...but perhaps I did not give it enough focus. I open my eyes and I am in a hazy storage room? There are stacked metal folding chairs in a few different spots. I look around a little while, but I am not seeing anything interesting and unfortunately lose patience. I try another teleport and instead of closing my eyes I clench my eyes like when I am trying to DEILD and I wake up or have a convincing FA of right where I'm at IWL...possibly FA because when I decide to roll over and check the time it feels like I am shaking off SP. Either way, awake. 174

7/13/14* Awesome! Finally one of my recent vivid dreams became lucid! Similar calm, highly lucid, exploration like my grassy sea lucid and right after seeing the closest thing I have seen to a grassy sea: I just watched Gravity for the first time last night and there is a scene where you see a grassy vegetation growing up out of a large body of water. When I saw that scene in the movie IWL my heart fluttered emotionally with the memory of the wonderful lucid dream it so much reminded me of and it must have inspired another awesome LD. I think it solidified the point for me to slow down and explore all of the wonder right around you. I have also had similar experiences IWL.

One of my earlier dreams was very vivid. At the end there is a squirrel that got into a house with a gathering or party. After trying to lead him out an open door, I was able to catch it but it reached back and bit my hand. I moved my hands further up his body to the base of his head to keep him from biting me again. All I could see from the injury was what looked more like a bloody scratch. I woke with the thought that the squirrel biting me should have made me lucid.

I am on a trip again, a common theme. My family and I are heading to quarantine area where they are going to apply some treatment to everyone via spray in the room so that no one carries any diseases into this foreign country. In a seemingly semi lucid moment I put my arms around this beautiful woman who takes to it kindly at first but then pushes me away. I sit on the floor apparently wearing a baseball cap as my view is slightly obscured looking upwards. Two cute kids are playing with me as I sit there. My wife is sitting on a ledge above on the perimeter of the room and a guy next to her is apparently stinky and she makes a face. I asked my wife where our son is. She didn't seem sure and didn't seem worried. Doors to the room opened up to let everyone out and transport trolleys are coming in and I'm the last one still in there and the doors closed but I'm able to scurry my way to the door and open it and go out. It is a beautiful countryside with
green hills reminding me of where I was in 1993. Lots of people hanging around outside but no wife and son. I just wait knowing they would know where to find me. People are sitting at an outdoor table talking while most others mingling much like a party but it is daytime, outside and of course in the beautiful scenery. I see a group walking down the road maybe they are with them up that way. I pass a place that raises collies apparently, the dog breed. I strain my neck to see and a dog runs up to me to jump or bite me...ah dog dream sign (One of the dream signs I thought about during WBTB...I'm dreaming.. fades and I clench my eyes to try to reenter the dream. It probably never ended, probably just the void, it's hazy but I can see a little bit and I think of the task of the month and I start to visualize an elevator...nothing at first but then a big red button appears and I press it and at this point it is more like I am visualizing an elevator door opening and seeing the elevator car and stepping in.
I can feel myself going up up up in what feels more like an open-air elevator car and still hazy. I am not satisfied with experience due to the lack of visuals. I think that I wake up but wait remember always check when waking up. I do feel that I'm still in a dream, an FA, laying in bed. I get out of bed. I'm in a hotel room with strange striped wallpaper. I end up face down on the floor and struggle to crawl up to the wall to lift myself up. How tricky the transition is to an FA. Try to stick my finger through my palm and it indicates that I am awake. No! I am sure that I'm dreaming so I look at my left hand and there are five fingers. But, I have a small appendage or extra little finger sticking out to the right of my left index finger going out from a spot about 3/4 of an inch down my finger. I think again of the elevator task...a hotel should be perfect. I go through two sets of doors to exit my hotel room but before I close the door I take one
more look at my hand and it looks just like before surprisingly...five fingers with a little extra one. The hallway of the hotel is awesome it looks maybe 1920s!! The walls are adorned with a beautiful rich dark wood paneling up and down. I go down to one end of the hall and there's a short flight of stairs up straight ahead, maybe 5 stairs and I start to go up and I think this wouldn't be the way to an elevator but at the top I see there's a small opening or space and there is a small door not more than a foot and a half tall . I go back the other way down the hall past where I came out and circle around to the right and I see a man and a woman in an open area with curtains that are opened. It looks like an opium den and/or a brothel. I keep going then I come to an opening in the hall there is a weird creature or boy sitting on the floor with his back to me. I decide to turn my back to him...out of sight out of mind. I continue down another hall and
walk past this man who had first looks like a guy in a suit and tie. Still not seeing an elevator I decide to go back to the man who now looks more like a bellman , an old fashioned one. I asked him if there's an elevator here. He says that the elevator will be ready in 1 to 2 weeks. I then think perhaps I can teleport to one of the neighboring buildings it seems like I'm in a big city downtown with lots of buildings back at the early part of the century from everything I see in this hotel and the way that guy is dressed. I'm amazed how vivid this dream is and how beautiful everything is. I ask if there's another building around with an elevator. The guy says that actually I can ride their elevator but I just have to sign a waiver. I ask him where will it take me. He says it will take me up to the top. I ask him what is there? He says the tree. I say the tree? Is this construction, unfinished? No he says it is solid. It used to house our Communications
department(?). I follow him towards the elevator down the hall that looks like a maintenance corridor and I'm having trouble standing up straight. I am leaning heavily as if I will fall to my left down a stairwell but I am hanging on to some bars or pipes that line the right side. It seems like the guy I am following is growing impatient at how slow I am. I'm in a dilemma. I'm not sure if I should let go and have faith that I can walk straight or keep going while holding on. I think it's okay if I fall it is just a dream but I might lose the scene and my path to the elevator. I also I think that I could teleport. I got probably 20 feet down this hall hanging on before I finally woke up for real. Still very cool lucid scenes and I wake up smiling. My day practices up until yesterday were focusing on doing the elevator task next for whatever reason. Yesterday I thought I started incubating the idea that I should meet up with Dreamer first, but next need to incubate that a bit more. Might have gotten to that task if I had ever completed the elevator one! 173

6/14/14** (Awesome waking life visuals and feeling the morning after these LDs). 1015-1am? Wake terrible indigestion. Sit up 30min or so. Look at Scarlett pics on my phone. Back to bed, interesting HI as I do my SSILD. Early LD I forget details of but must have lost lucidity at some point. I was in a strange apartment-like building and had sex with a woman in a bedroom off to the right. Straight ahead was a city view. We are 5 or more stories up I'd guess. Wake up trying to commit the details quickly to memory and go back to sleep. Later in an office building. Me and a woman are to go to some cool thing I'm looking forward to. She says we can't even call for the location until 3...seems like 3pm in dream (but I woke ~315am from this - to be described LD - that started around the time we left for this cool thing...maybe 3am...hmmm). It felt like noon when I heard the news we won't know anything until 3(pm). Dream skipped ahead. She is driving on right side of car, me in back seat, on right also...just us 2. We are entering a studio back lot and I think they must have these in many different cities. We begin to pass many sexy actresses, I notice especially. Some of the acting students are growing food along the road, and there is a produce market. I feel like an important actor being driven around. At some point I am driving...seems my waking life car and I get to a dead end with two security gates...something seems dream like here...gate reminds me of a dream....ah I'm dreaming. I start to phase up out through the roof of the car...scene turns dark...I reach for the car door and get out; dark still. I decide to just fly up, still dark I decide to do big loops way up in the sky (it feels like I went up fairly high)...very much like a real waking life roller coaster feeling!!! I also do some shots up into the air and then back down rapidly. After playing with this for a while, I decide to do some backward flips and quickly find myself hovering over land and then water very close below me. It feels I'm being led down into the water and decide not to fight it. It is shallow and I am "flying" slowly under the water now without effort. Simple round but colorful sea creatures growing from the bottom. This underwater exploring goes on for a few minutes, it seems, before I start being drawn toward the sand...I decide not to fight it either and start to imagine my go to beach scene (though with very little effort/intent) and I come out into a water filled room not well lit. I crawl up onto a ledge that is boxed in on each side and remember my LD adventure, exploring the toyland near the ruin wall by the beach with the grassy ocean and I want to find something similar here. I jump down from the ledge and start exploring, old picnic table benches, bed, and now my wife is calling out..."what are you doing?" Is this entering my dream from her IWL? I try to ignore her and continue exploring for a few moments more. Then FA with my DJ notes on the back if her notes and she hid from me and caught me getting them back...wait this is still a dream...but then I fade back to bed for real ~3:15am lay still recalling and then look at phone=3:17am. 161 & 162

5am? Dexter alternate ending? No fear but gross...perhaps like watching the show...not involved except like a witness. Actor who plays Dexter goes on a bloody rampage in a house in a suburban neighborhood setting and also kills his wife the blonde lady though she looks more like a different actress than the one he liked in the final season, but very similar. He sneaks out through a back alley at the last minute as the police arrived. I see him through an open window with a thin sheer-white curtain blowing in the wind with a view as if I was in the house or the camera shot was from in the house (there were no thoughts of Dexter or the police seeing me and interviewing me. I knew the police would see everyone was there but him and he would be missing altogether and they would highly suspect he was a killer. Wake. Later dream I was trying to warn a woman that the guy she is she scared of busted down her door in my dream. I also said he is a made up creature so there's nothing to worry about. Some other guy sitting
with her at a patio table was talking about supernatural creatures. 7am

(This may be a more boring entry, but maybe it gives some newbies an idea of some of the things you can run into)

6/12/14* wake up after about 5.5 hours of sleep needing to go to the bathroom and afterwards I do my SSILD cycles and I start to get HI's but fall asleep. Later I am having a dream where I am on the field after one of my games and the game after ours looks like a forfeit, perhaps not enough players. It seems like I'm very tired and I believe what happened is that I lay down on the field and went into an in-dream WILDing-like session where I immediately start getting strong HI's and vibrations which I start to play with including a woman on the field whose clothes I pull off with telekinesis and some motion based dream entry. I find myself in my bed (possible false awakening) but I can feel that I'm still fully in the dream world. I decide I should take off all my clothes and get into some mischievous activity. It feels like I am struggling with taking off my clothes and I start to worry a little bit about using my real waking life hands and possibly waking up or exposing myself
while sleeping. But I do get it together and take off my clothes and I'm hanging around the bed when I hear my wife coming up the stairs again and it reminds me of the false awakening last time and I remind myself "okay FA FA FA" (in other words don't get fooled by the false awakening-like scenario). My wife comes into the room and she's holding my laptop and it's on my email account and I get sidetracked from my lucidity for a moment concerned of what she might have read...perhaps some of my updates from dreamviews related to some of the crazy dream adventures I have which she may not like...But then I hear a song playing very clearly (later when I actually woke up I could hear music coming from my son's room but it wasn't where I could hear lyrics or anything whereas in the dream I was definitely hearing lyrics and a song that I seemed to recognize, all much more clearly than what I heard when I woke up). Anyway, I closed my laptop and looked out my window for the source of the sound and I could see some of my teammates outside getting ready for a game and my first thought was why am I not there, why are they playing without me but then I realize the scenario is highly unlikely, especially a game right outside my house...oh yeah this is still a dream this was a false awakening like scenario. I specifically remember "J" & "K" being out there and a little scene played where someone was asking J if he had ever been an ex-WAIF (unsure what this means) and a scene of J sitting at his current job with a desk full of papers. I think that I'm forgetting some details throughout this lengthy dream because I specifically remember thinking that this lucid dream is going fairly long. I find myself back in bed and I wonder if this is another false awakening but then I can feel my wife being amorous and I start to wake up for real. My lucidity level was obviously low throughout or I wouldn't have had such a hard time retaining it or remembering so much of it. Because of this I put the dream through Sageous' FLD test of proving lucidity to yourself and came up with the verdict that I was definitely lucid in spots. I tried to go back to sleep and got some HI's or dreamlets of Cameron Diaz leaning over showing off her cleavage (saw her in a movie last night). 160

6/10/14* (short version, though not a super long LD; KILD=Kiss Induced Lucid Dream) I am getting on a commuter train and feel very tired. I think to myself what if I can lucid dream on the train but it doesn't occur to me that I'm dreaming yet. Seem to doze off quickly and I'm standing in a hall and three ladies that I think are supposed to be the Kardashian sisters are standing on the other side of the hall across from me. The shortest one (seems to be Kourtney) is in between the other two and is changing her top and I could briefly see her breasts and the other two sisters are trying to cover her up while she changes. I move my head to the left and get another view of her right breast facing me. I believe that I am semi-lucid here. Khloe walks over to me like she is going to set me straight and I grasp her and kiss her and she is into it and I fully realize that this is a dream and I think of the TOTM bonus impregnation task. My original plan was to do it with Girl Friday (and I still can) and then to summon a meteor to mark the occasion (perform the meteor task) and visit the meteor landing site. We take it to the ground after some standing foreplay which includes my common reach down for moisture. Anyway, the main thing is we get down to intercourse. I start imagining exploding inside her and can kind of feel it (I think about how it has felt way more realistic on at least one occasion) and I pull up a little and say "look...your stomach is growing" and it does grow taking her up to what must be like 6 months pregnant or less with multiple babies or something...who knows. Anyway this blends into a very convincing false awakening where I think I hear my wife calling for me from downstairs as if I am making her late and I notice I am having trouble rolling out of bed and getting up and think that I hear her coming up the stairs. I try to reach over and bang the wall to let her know that I'm awake and getting up and I am finally able to fully wake myself and I wake up only to find that the last part was all just a false awakening. 159

Craziness has been keeping me from doing much with my day practices and no night time practices this night due to needing a good night's sleep but going back over exercise 4a from the Open Beta exercises yesterday may have helped. The exercise gave me the sense that everything is a dream (at least for a more extended period than normal) and I found more exciting about my waking world.

6/7/14* DILD involved me driving on what at first seemed like a familiar road and then realizing that I did not know this road at all - I am dreaming. I fly up out of the car and end up in the void where I patiently summon Girl Friday and have her strip which was very hot, turned into a false awakening of wife coming into the room and her being pleasantly surprised by my condition down there. 158

4/13, 4/19, 4/21

4/13/14* 1225+ 2? 620 while trying to wild I have an FA where I am writing an interesting line from my previous dream in my bedside dream journal and my wife pinches me in the butt as if to say what are you doing writing again in the middle of the night? After a moment I realize it is a false awakening (didn't count this one in my LD count as I think I quickly fell asleep in the FA) and later when I do wake up I remember it and I remember most of the line I was trying to write down because I was repeating it in my head during the false awakening . It was like one of those guys (I forget what you call them the guy is there to lure you in at a circus sideshow) and he was saying "step right up, come right in, come one come all. Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages behold the magnificent Ruska something something tuska?"...some kind of ryhme that I found to be funny and I did not want to forget. Then on to remembering my dream after the false awakening that led to a dild...

My wife, my nephew & I are at some shopping mall and we are getting ready to head back home and I tease my nephew who seemed ready to go saying it will only take about 4.5 hours to get home. (Funny 4.5 hours just like my favorite wake back to bed time.) I turn around through the parking lot trying to go out a different way but suddenly I see an image of my side door to the garage and realize that is strange since we're not home yet could this be a dream? I'm confused for a moment. I told my wife that she better drive home and I will fly home in case this is some kind of vision of a break in that is really happening (doh!) and then I say wait a minute...fly...of course yes I am dreaming and I fly. I am back at home, most like waking life home and I tell myself to forget about the broken door since I am dreaming. I hear a woman singing lightly like she was following along with a song on the radio and I float/fly up over the fence and I do not see her in
the side yard. I look up and see an open window and float up there to the second story and inside I see a man with his two young sons in a bedroom and I think of the prank task of the month and I say hey to one of the kids and duck out of sight like I am leaving but then I pop back up and scare the boy. I then go on to a lot of fun first calling the wife in to the room simply calling out hey wife come here and she even answers something like yes honey and comes into the room...at this point the father and kids disappear and I summon additional people doing additional fun games with them but not really pranks and I summon two more sets of people until the room was full with a lot of people. I may break down the details later in my dream journal...but it is a little embarrassing...nothing new I guess for my dream journal. (Ok so it basically was creating an orgy scene but the first time I just said let's bring over a bunch of the couple's friends. The
attractiveness of the friends was not too good so for the 2nd set I said all of your beautiful friends and have them undress. It was still a mixed group of beautiful and not so beautiful people laying all over each other. I would say there were 20 or more people in the room. As I am looking at my creation still floating outside the open window. Before the orgy scene I had the wife undress. She was a little over weight but had very nice large breasts.) 133

4/19* ~1130 230? 5? 620-7late wbtb/nap light oatmeal. I am attempting to wild and I eventually get vibrations and I stay patient. It turns into a false awakening waking up on a couch at the top of the stairs in a house most like my current one. My son is sitting next to me on the couch. I can hear someone downstairs and I can see from my spot on the couch a woman down below although her face is just out of view. She is wearing black tights with a floral print. At first I wonder if it is "A" from up north but then I figured out it is and/or willed her to be "B" when she was in her 20's. This frisky thinking seemed to dematerialize my clothes which felt awkward for a moment with my son next to me but it's a dream I remind myself. As I am considering my next move, I lose the dream. WILDs..sometimes too fragile for me! 134

4/21* 11-1130 half awake. Set intention to wake at 4.5 hours and close! ~3:47 for wbtb, 6 wake from LD. Apple juice before bed. Nice and vivid NLDs before my DEILD. Clear, feeling the sun on my skin and the heat in the air, "knowing" it was midday around noon at a golf course with wife in golf attire. Later I think I had my 2nd case of true SP. It led to a DEILD! I was awoken by something and felt like I was being held down, but after trying to move and not being able to, I realized the situation and stayed calm and turned it positive! I have felt heaviness several times before but usually recognize the feeling before attempting to struggle so some of those may have been different. I started imagining a beautiful woman was on top of me and sure enough, very nice! She is also the same nationality as my wife. We have full blown realistic feeling sex in a large hotel room bed, apparently continuing the travelling/vacation theme from earlier. She eventually walks out of the
room satisfied and another gorgeous woman walks in with sound equipment and wiring wearing one piece jumpsuit with a tool belt and she asks me if my ahem is under those sheets where I am still completely naked. She is also the same nationality as my wife and she uses a term in their language for my ahem. I say yes and she takes a look. I actually plan on leaving the room and was telling her that I just finished up with the woman that just left and may be spent. She remarks that it doesn't look that way, you look ready. I say you are right, why not. We have full blown realistic sex also. I can't get over the realism and her sexiness. Wake around 6 smiling big. Some more late dreams with my typical (but not always) late morning fogginess. 135

1/25/14**

Interesting development tonight! Instead of some previous experiences where it felt like mechanics were involved in countering my lucidity...tonight both LDs felt like I was suspicious I could be dreaming and I was getting nudges of help or clues! I think this was due to my re-inspired self awareness work! Anyway busy today got to be brief. First LD I was sitting outside with a heavy-set black guy with mostly shaved head but a slight fade. For the second night in a row I see something interesting about the stars in the sky (previous night I was just focusing on a good night's sleep and got a fantastic show in the sky that was non lucid; stars lighting up unusually and then became firework sounds behind a cloud and then very clear and vivid fireworks with animation in the sky thinking it was a little late for fireworks - felt like 10:30 p.m. in the dream - and it turned out to be some advertising campaign but so beautiful!) anyway I tell that guy that those stars
look unusual, the constellation was laid out with so many stars kind of in a shape of a boot and as I was pointing it out the whole constellation lit up (lucidity help#1) and I realized that I must be dreaming but it felt so real but I said no I must be dreaming. I decided to RC by flying up into the sky. Yep! I am thinking what now and think of flying to the moon and I look for the moon as I'm floating high up in the sky. I see the moon and start flying towards it and as I get close I go to land and somehow end up in a big L shaped room that looked like an abandoned club house or game room with items at each end of the L. I think okay is this supposed to be on the moon? Sure enough I'm bouncing around the room with moon like gravity! It is actually a whole lot of fun! After bouncing around for awhile I look at the front door to this big room and I think about what they were talking about in the last podcast and decided I would go out a different way
and flew up through the roof as if it were not there. I'm floating in the sky again and I look for some interesting stars to fly to and think about the tip from Sivason. As I focus on each star they move a little to the right or a little to the left. Finally I find one that seems to stay fixed and I focus on it as I begin to fly towards it but then I lose sight of it but I can feel that I am deep in space and it feels a little weird like gentle pressure waves rolling against me. I feel lost out here so I decide to teleport back to the L shaped room and bounce around some more. I lost lucidity either here or through the FA that followed. A guy similar to the one at the beginning of the dream was there and had a habit of turning on multiple TV'S...like a compulsion. This was after a normal wbtb about 4 hours in. Woke up from LD#1 around 5am. Did a more lazy wbtb with less SSILD cycles overlayed with mantra that I stop & realize I am dreaming + one that I
recognize the transition (both were WILD attempts turned DILDs). 2nd LD I was in what was supposed to be my grandparents house. I was helping my grandmother with something in the garage and she decided it was time to go to bed and she went on towards bed and as I passed the laundry area(?) between the garage and the house I spilled something on the floor and it got worse as I tried to stop the spill. I went in to the bathroom to clean up I guess and heard a jingling sound then saw a small white fluffy dog and thought hmm I guess that is their dog. Then I see a taller majestic grayish blackish dog and think that is strange...doesn't seem like any dog of theirs and think this could be a dream. Nudged again (lucidity help#2) I see someone walking towards me in a bear suit and I say now I know I am dreaming! I fly up out of the house and it is daytime whereas before it seemed like night. There is a line of college cheerleaders (male and female) out in
front of the house performing. Like in one of my HHs earlier where a woman in a skirt had one leg propped up on something provocatively, I saw a cheerleader standing legs split with a "come hither" look and I swooped down to the ground below her and worked my way towards performing oral on her as she grabbed at my junk, enjoying the experience but eventually faded back to bed.

1/11*? + *!!! Wow! Had a great wild. Previously I am fairly sure I wild into a dream of me doing the ssild cycles thinking I'm still awake but not true LD since I didn't realize already asleep but was conscious of my last known condition-attempting a wild in bed...just waiting for a dream to start. I suspect this because of the amount of time that has passed and I get up go to the bathroom and go back to bed. I then think maybe what I experienced right before I woke up was hypnopompic...voices and vibrations. It feels like I may not be too far from REM because it is later in the morning maybe just over 7 hours after first going to bed. Sure enough it doesn't take long to start getting a dreamy feeling and HH audio first I wonder if it is my wife saying something to me or talking in her sleep but then I hear what sounds more like a crowd of people talking. I feel like I'm close and I decide to try to move my dream hands and sure enough I get a glimpse of
my dream hands then a good view of them. But it seems like my dream isn't ready like I am in the void. Could this be delta sleep on the way to REM instead? I recall what Sageous said about having a specific scene in mind on wild attempts. My go to scene is a beach. Visualize a beach but it is not anything like what I wanted. I do closed eye teleporting or changing of the beach scene maybe six to seven times. Most of the first scenes were night time and then I got one with a very odd creature in the water and I say no on earth, but had morning light! Close eyes again and say no I want white sand! I get it and sunny! I decide to go in the buff but at first the ladies are in bikinis. There should be nude waitresses...thank you. I pick one out she looks mildly Polynesian perhaps mixed with white. She is beautiful. We get straight down to intercourse. I have a pre-orgasm like feeling and decide I want to spawn the woman I met two nights ago but then I say no let me do the task of the month - I'm already by a body of water. I only think of the water in my immediate view so as to block out the idea that I can't freeze this body of water or that it may be too big or something. Like in my previous attempt I hold out my hands superhero style and freeze the water and I quickly spawn pointed saw again cutting a hole in the ice super fast pushing the ice down and over under the ice sheet and I quickly spawn fishing pole with bait already attached as planned, drop the line in the hole and very quickly start to feel a tug though not really strong. I fished out a purple fish or eel like creature! I was rushing through this process expecting I may not have too much time and this expectation creates a false awakening what at first I thought was my actual awakening. I was lying in bed recalling my wonderful LD for several minutes before waking into another false awakening in church at the funeral we're going to today! Awesome!

Previously most significant dream I was extremely angry at a company I am dealing with in real life. I do not remember last time I felt this much anger during a dream. No idea where this emotion came from! Perhaps it was due to an underlying fear that something would go wrong with this business and I got a phone call during the dream and my mind thought one of the possible reasons for me receiving a phone call and created the scenario which then brought up the real anger I would have felt in real life if I got that call! I hope this was not a premonition ! It is probably just due to the fear. 97; 96 was short paper journal

Still tracking FA's but current mindset is to not become overly concerned with them.

Just a quick entry for my own tracking, no true lucid moment recalled but close. Yesterday 1/6/14 I was dreaming about logging in at work and was woke up by my back up alarm to get me to work at the last minute. I am guessing this started as a FA around the time of the first alarm. Zonked out! Also dreamed about my son LDing and visiting 5 distinct places and was getting ready to "go back in."

Last night bedtime activity zonked me out longer than normal and this morning I didn't use my sleep mask or earplugs that I normally use as my wife gets ready for her day. This morning 1/7/14 I dreamed about several things going on currently IWL including a new rec group I will be meeting tonight; my son 2 separate dreams Uni & girlfriend; my mention of sensation based WILD entry last night on DV had me in an FA thinking I was actually waking up in the halfway zone and able to DEILD using sensations. I was looking over a cliff from my bed (very interesting to me) seeing different things going on down below and as I slip off the edge of the cliff knowing full well there was no danger I was trying to use that sensation of sinking off the cliff and deeper into the bed to DEILD/WILD but I was already asleep in hindsight!(I don't know what you would call this but I am not calling it a true LD or adding it to my count. I lost awareness none-the-less and I think the next dream was my son/girlfriend one.

1/3 snip...For the second day in a row I get up after maybe 6 hours of
sleep, eat some oatmeal, watch a little TV and then go back to bed and for the second day in a row I have a lucid dream. I think both were either due to the nap schedule or my tweak to my self awareness check-ins but I also performed SSILD cycles each time. This felt more like a morning nap than a wake back to bed because I normally don't stay up for a long time for my wake back to beds staying up 1 hour yesterday and about 1.5 hours today (got into a movie). I'm driving down a busy road with three lanes going the same direction as I am. The right lane slows down to almost zero and I get over into one of the faster lanes and I see there's a car that is slowing down just barely going . As I continue along I see more and more cars driving strangely in curve patterns on a straight road some of them also curving into the side of the road and stopping. As I get more and more suspicious the question pops up that must be dreaming. The finger through my palm tries to tell me that I am awake but
I just know that I'm dreaming and I told myself if I'm dreaming I can pull back on the steering wheel and the car will start flying like an airplane. I lift off just above the ground at first and wonder if I've actually lifted it off at all and I pull back a little more and sure enough I'm flying up in the air higher and higher flying around a beautiful green hilled landscape in a daylight scene. It is so much fun it reminds me of the dream where I took off from the roller coaster flying over a similar landscape. I am checking out different views and after a while my vision starts to get fuzzy and I felt like I cracked open my eyes in waking life and maybe saw a little light and my room but I later realized that was a false awakening since when I actually woke up my sleep mask was firmly in place and my first do was dark by the sleep mask. At the time I thought I'd barely woke up so I decided to try to go back into the dream but later ended up in
another false awakening where my wife was coming back to bed for a little sexy time. I pull up her sweatshirt and she has an undershirt on and by the time my son starts calling out from downstairs (in the dream only because he's not at the house at the moment) we are completely naked and I am worried that he is going to walk up the stairs into our room just like the episode of Modern Family rerun that we watched last night. He is calling her asking her for something and I try to call out to him what is he looking for but he keeps calling to her (I also hear is cousin downstairs) and I tell my wife hey why don't you respond (at least 3 times) before he comes upstairs and I look at her and her eyes are closed and it looks kind of like she's having a light seizure or something with her lips puckered kind of like a fish and I start to get ready to call my son to ask him to call 911 when I realize again I'm dreaming...I must be but there's just enough doubt that I make myself
wake up just in case she is having some kind of medical emergency in waking life. Did not count this as a lucid dream...not this false awakening.

1/1/14 snip...Sometime during the night I wake and I have trouble going back to sleep I think only after 3 hours around 5 a.m. I went to bed just after 2 a.m. New Years Eve. Since I'm unable to sleep I decide to do my SSILD cycles and after some time I have three waves of vibrations I think that I probably went lucid but I was too lazy when I woke up after several subsequent non lucid dreams to write anything down so I don't recall anything specific after 5 a.m...except for the three waves of vibrations. Not counting it since I can't remember for sure.

1/2/14 1am 430 620 Dream that turned lucid. I get up after 5 1/2 hours of
sleep eat some oatmeal watch a little TV and then go back to bed. This was a morning nap false awakening where I pull off my sleep mask in the dream sitting up a little in bed. It feels so weird so I think that I am halfway in dreamland so I lay back down to DEILD but I am already dreaming...but it is confusing for a little while, a dreamlike confusion. New FA (I assume since my first memory of it is a bedroom scene) with E & his wife B. E asks if classic channel changes back to regular later I say no it stays the same but they play new shows not only reruns and classics. Something about Sony classic perhaps sony movie classics channel? My pajama pants are part way down and I try to pull them up a little I see B notices this and she appears interested to look down there but then I tried getting them up again when E starts talking again but he never looks down to see the condition of my pants I half realize it's a dream and have decided to go back down and visualize messing around with her but as I do it becomes so very realistic that I fully realize I am dreaming. I played with her breasts through her bra and I also feel her down there and it was warm and moist through her underwear. At one point she embraces me and as I wake up I notice my wife is not embracing me as I thought was happening. I assumed that waking life was melding with the dream but no, all made up in my mind. It was a very sensual weird experience. Just before I woke up I did start thinking about goals and if waking life was entering the dream.

Night 2 was uneventful...no DJ.

121513 Combination of three different examples of day residue from the day after which I went to sleep were in this one dream. Thinking about what Laberge wrote on this. One was visiting the city B, another was old signs that we saw in one of the stores and finally another was that my son was watching The Parent Trap movie (couple splitting) all IWL. Dream: The city B to our North in the 1970s. There was a big old house and the old previous couple that live there are being discussed. Had a computer virus when they live there before they split up and moved. There was discussion of whether or not the idea of a computer virus was invented there perhaps someone going to the university there. Before this we are standing outside of a Federal Building and we need to go in. There is a group of about five to six of us and only two of them have badges but the security guard says each can bring one guest. I said I'll wait unless you need my help and one person
says yes go in with us. I say we can pretend to be a couple but wait a minute you two actually are a couple. When we go in that is when it becomes the big old house. Inside someone is looking through some old files and there are old signs and old log entries from the 1940s. I just realized a fourth piece of the residue when I was bringing up the 1940s yesterday.

DILD FA I wake up feeling cold and I realize that I do not have a shirt on. My wife is sitting up watching TV in bed and I dig in the blankets looking for my shirt. At first all I find is a printed t-shirt but I remember I was wearing a long sleeve shirt when I went to bed and eventually found it put it on and got up. I'm floating around the house and the halls and I realize that I am dreaming, yep I'm in an odd version of my house! I try to go back to where I saw something interesting on a bed in what appeared to be a master bedroom. As I search through the halls of the house I don't find it and I find myself heading back into bed. I immediately go for a DEILD and I feel the vibrations going in and out and I hear my wife saying something and holding onto my back firmly and I say in my head go ahead and hold me really hard I know this is just hypnagogic hallucinations but then the bed starts shaking alot alot! I stay calm and nudge on the vibrations
and they fade away and I find that I can see through my sleep mask the wall next to my bed I'm looking at all the texture of the wall and thinking the texture looks very realistic but doesn't look exactly like my wall I don't think. I do a motionless reality check where I make a glottal sound. When I practice it while awake it makes a very distinct sound in my throat and reverberates through my head. This time being a dream there was no sound at first but then there was a very delayed and far away, faint, almost echo of the sound. Very interesting as this is the first time I did this particular reality check in a dream. I start to slowly move my leg towards the end of the bed and I start to worry that I might move my real body and this starts to wake me up and I fade back into bed. I find that instead of laying on my side as I was in my dream body that instead I am laying on my back as I was when I had the mini-awakening and did the DEILD. I am a little disappointed
that both dreams were fairly short but I got some interesting practice with the false awakening and with my motionless reality check. I did try to re-enter the dream one more time and must have been close because I got vibrations and some heavy hypnagogic hallucinations of my son coming into our room twice and one time standing over me and saying something very loud but I recognized it for what it was and try to wait it out but afterwards I find myself too awake but I double checked with my reality check and sure enough I was quite awake.

11/18/13 LD #72 Late morning quick wbtb led to an awareness dild where I floated around the room and structure(drew it un-artistically), found Girl Friday and had a great time between the sheets. Dream sign mantra seems to be yielding some results but this one had more to do with awareness that the location was not in the same condition as it is in waking life...basically it was in the middle of remodeling.

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11/19/13 What is really strange is that one of my dream signs that only comes around maybe once a month but is usually a lucidity inducer (my deceased father in law) has shown up the last 2 nights and went right over my head (I assume my mantra incubated him into my dreams)...yet last night it may have kept me going in a more meaningful dream that was really quite special to me personally...it was my wife as a 2 year old coming up to me and she was just so darn cute...I didn't know her that young but I assume the DC was created from pictures I have seen of her around that age...(I am not posting my other dreams, getting lazy to and besides I have them in my personal journal) The dream:
Special one, false awakening into a fluffy bed with lots of comforters I can hear the train outside and I think that is strange this is not a place where I normally hear a train, it feels like its a house near (next town south) but perhaps it is the house on M. I get up and go to the living room and sit on the couch...later father-in-law gets up from bed I assume and comes and sits next to me as well as someone else gets up at the same time (feels like it is the strange version of my mother in law from the previous night's dream). He's telling me that he was seeing (this mother-in-law DC) or whoever doing something like a yoga pose where she's starts off on her back and legs up in the air and he's kind of wondering why does she do that, it seems like it has something to do with being able to lucid dream. A little kid walks by in the hall on the far side of the room, maybe about 2 years old and I hold my hands out and say come here about 3 times quickly and the kid comes towards me and surprisingly it looks like a young little (my wife's name)!! She is just so adorable. She has short hair and it just looks like her, like her pictures or like a really good representation of what my mind would think she would look when she was that age. She comes towards me but my father-in-law(her father) picks her up and it looks like she's fussing a little bit like she wants to come over to me and I say no its okay stay with (father-in-law) about 3 times as I rub her shoulder and arm in assurance. It feels like this was about to make me lucid as I woke up. As I'm laying in bed awake I think about how neat it is almost like traveling back in time to see her when she was young when she looked so darling. I also wondered if perhaps it was supposed to be our baby since I've been dreaming a lot about babies lately (no baby expected that I know of!).

(color function for denoting lucid parts not working so use bold instead, sorry) 11/17** 1045 4am fragment about placeholders 1 long the other consisting of couple of smaller brackets but placeholders all the same(meaning unclear). Wbtb dream sign mantra then ssild. I have realized lately that the cycles allow me to not focus on the HI's but when I get a flurry of them I can't help but try to interact and jump into the dream. I'm in a home and there were two sets of keys that belong somewhere else laying on a bed and I grab them to put them back or hide them. I start to think where were they from trying to remember and I cannot so I think I must just hide them so I get ready to take them out to my car and a woman comes out of one of the rooms she looks nothing like my mom but in the dream she is my mom and it's like I'm visiting her she goes to the bathroom to pee or something and I tell her that I have to go and go out to my car and I see that her husband is pulling in but her husband does not seem like my father . She comes out to a balcony above where I'm
parked and she has a little boy she introduces the boy and her husband to me. The boy is wearing loose shorts and it looks like he is not wearing anything underneath the shorts so I look away, akward. Next dream I'm in a bedroom sitting on a bed next to a couple, a married couple and there's a woman laying on the floor who looks attractive at first. The couple starts talking about having a threesome with the woman on the floor but her face starts changing it looks a little odd it looks like she's wearing too much makeup especially red rouge. I start to become lucid slowly during this scene but the big aha moment was later. Since the couple was not making a move the woman on the floor made her move and straddled the wife started kissing her and at first it look like the wife was a little uncomfortable but then they all three got into it while I watched. It felt like the couple was my friends so it didn't occur to me to join especially since my idea of
multiple partners does not involve a man. As I'm watching, a woman caresses me from behind and knowing that there was no one else in the room it really locked in the idea that I was dreaming but as she aggressively grabbed me from behind it woke me up into vibrations where I try to reenter the dream or any dream but it fades into a false awakening or a non lucid dream. At some point I'm out in front of the house on M Boulevard and I'm acting silly with a portable folding table on my head running around and a car pulls up a small blue sporty car maybe like Fiat. I continue acting silly towards people in the car and I guess I pissed them off because they get out of the car and a couple of them have guns with very small narrow barrels not really like many guns you would see. I apologize and tell them I'm just acting crazy and they say okay well we're going to take inside the house as if they are going to report it to the owners of the house inside which is
my in laws house. I have enough waking life memory to realize as we're going into the house there is a party that my father in law will not be in there since he has passed away but I do see family friend of ours S close friend of M. One of my dream sign mantras was to lookout for my father in law because that usually makes me lucid funny how I thought of him but did not become lucid, of course I did not see him though. Afterwards they are nice to me and I go with him to a food truck where they are getting some kind of fish sandwich made out of a fish patty I believe. I woke up again around 6 and this was either a second WBTB or an early morning nap. I do my dreams son mattress again and then SSILD cycles and I start to get a lot of interesting HI's. I'm noticing early on that by doing the cycles it helps me tonight focus on the HI's as recommended. Two different times this night I had them featuring a newborn baby and also lots of them with various
women most of them sexy but clothed. They start to come more and more close together and I start to get the idea that I can enter a dream from one of these. So I was attempting to wild but I lost consciousness at some point but I eventually was in a dream that was related to one of the images but I did not realize that until later. I was standing in a hallway and was admiring a couple of different beautiful women 1 and then later another one that made eye contact with and I tried to make eye contact with her again but as I was following her with my head and eyes my father was standing there...my initial thought was he saw me checking out a woman but then I realized wait a minute he is hundreds of miles away right now so I am dreaming. I walked away from my father (though I wish I talked to him first now as recalling the dream I could have asked him some interesting things just to see what his dream character would say.) I walk down the hall
rubbing my hands to stabilize but I lose patience and start flying down the hall to the women's restroom. I imagine the kind of woman I want to be in there and I go in and start making out with her. We go into a stall though not my normal chosen venue and we're going at it feverishly and she starts to give me a BJ it feels really good and then another woman comes in and they are both going at me. I finish off and I think about how it feels so realistic and exhilarating and I start to wonder if it also happened in waking life and at first I think that it did but later realize it was a false awakening where I "woke up" excited and in this false awakening I thought to myself that I did something that Laberge says doesn't happen in a lucid dream, that I had a wet dream and even get up to clean up the evidence thinking that this has to be something quite unusual to do before later waking up for real and realizing that was a false awakening. I'm quite happy
with what just happened but a little disappointed but a little relieved that the false awakening was false. I start making some notes then lay back down close my eyes and then turn over and start making some more notes in waking life. One of them involves the different images I was seeing before the dream started and also a reminder for me to look up some other great motionless reality checks. I also think about how I've woken up quite a few times with my lips feeling very wet to the point that I have to wipe them and I wonder if this is happening during false awakenings because my lips are normally quite dry. Possibly another way to catch false awakenings. I also make a note that I should have a decent size drink of water when I get up from my normal first awakening that is usually 4 hours after going to sleep so that I can wake up in what seems to be my sweet spot close to 5:30-6a.m. And be able to do it on weekdays possibly but have to be ready for
false awakenings involving my wife getting up to get ready for her day. I also made a note that I seem to be able to relax real well while laying on my back if I bend my knees up with my feet flat on the bed and then slowly lower my knees back to the bed.

Previous night below...

111613*
1130 300 5:05 **Almost lost recall of this lucid dream because it lead into a false awakening and I have two non lucid dreams after the lucid dream before getting up and recording anything...may have lost it if I didn't take the time to record the dream I woke up from and start tracking back the previous scenarios and dreams. The furthest back I can go I remember looking up at the sky and seeing the moon and being reminded of my goal to fly to the moon. I actually thought about this and several other potential dreams signs as I was going to sleep. Without thinking first I took off to start flying but then I quickly land back down realizing that I should stabilize first and I begin rubbing my hands and telling myself I'm dreaming. After I feel stable in the dream I look up to the sky for the moon pick it out and start flying again towards the moon. It gets blurry as I approach the moon and it has a grayish brown color to it and I land. I start doing the bounding around because I thought it would be fun and it was fun but the dream lost vividness during the flight and also on the moon and I was not
happy with the way the moon looked...the color of the Moon I was hoping would look more realistic. (I plan to go back and re-do it) The next thing I know I find myself back in bed with vibrations and I plan to reenter the dream or any dream lucid . But I ended up in a false awakening but I did not catch it unfortunately and I was in a room looking down at a blanket with a moon pattern on it which should have reminded me right there I don't understand how that did not remind me! Someone was asking me if I can send the blanket to them, to ship it to them. Perhaps I laid in the bed for a while trying to get back to sleep and eventually just dozed off which led to that false awakening . The next dream, before getting up and writing this in my paper journal, I was in a warehouse & it almost seems like I was there for work but it becomes more like a party setting. A guy walks up with a billy club and hits some guy and I say to him really with a billy club? Then the guy starts coming towards
me and can't remember if he hit me but I remember walking up to I guess my boss and saying that I will need to leave early. I get confused trying to find the way out to my car there are lots of big bay doors and it seems like my old friend B from childhood was there with me. Someone was leaving with me. At some point the dream transitions to a party or get together in a house and I see roxana and she gives me a big hug and oddly kind of rubs her face against mine like she misses me so much. I also see G who I know from the same place and she is looking at my phone had a picture of the other G that I know admiring the guy that is in the picture with G. Perhaps she has Facebook up on my phone and I told her well you should see her husband, he's a model. A baby walks up to me maybe about 1 year old and I pick it up I think it is a girl she starts to fuss so I put her back down and it looks like she has a twin because the mother is breastfeeding and put
down the other twin who walks up to me and I pick her up and she does not fuss; perhaps the other one was hungry. The baby has strange high brows and I look at the mom and she does also and she looks more like an alien lizzard woman or something as the features become more and more noticeable. Audio information is playing in the background explaining that children with this condition have flower shaped hands as in fingers around in a circle like petals on a flower and they have trouble gripping things.