lucid

6/1/14 Super quick entry: familiar dream location, think this is where I usually get lost in dreams...wait...I'm dreaming. Fly up over building and check out miscellaneous ladies.

Real rough and brief notes, *mainly for self...

5/29/14*
lady bleeding from hand. OMG you're still bleeding? There was so much blood on the floor as I go to help and she almost passes out. Do you have insurance? (She probably needs blood infusion I think to myself). American Beauty bloody scene last night..? 2 others helping in hospital or clinic-like place and I am holding someone's baby....hers? I am playing mouth games with the baby who is so cute maybe 3 months and it gets the baby smiling. I blow into baby's mouth and puff up her(?) cheeks. This seemed to be a significant dream for me related to stuff going on, especially the woman bleeding and maybe the baby represented my new personal developments./
CJ big black Ford truck 905??. CJ=clara jane? /
Son driving. Another car backs into bicyclist they seem to fight around the accident. heading to sons middle school but we stop short to walk the rest away but he forgot something in the car of course. I say I will go back to get the car we should have parked at the school anyway. I realize as going back for the car as everything turns dark that it is a dream and push my way through the darkness and fly. Then I am face down floating above my bed attempting a motion based deild before I notice I am above the bed. The motion is one where I seem to have two sets of wings but first I was planning on pulling down my shorts and doing something sexual but I wonder if I might act that out in bed (IWL) and my wife would see. She recently wanted me to stop LDing. Anyway, the kinetic motion of the two sets of wings was incredible (alternating flaps, front set and then back set, very odd feeling) while floating above my bed and attempting to create a new scene from it but woke up. 154

5/30/14* chase? Attempt float down from high in lobby? Seemed semi-lucid here but recall poor. /Hotel...race to book room *at hotel. / (Success related to meeting last night). / 540:M from S thinks she's in love. Other couple doubts. I'm changing clothes in same room as couple...guy goes heads into bathroom...I'll change quickly while he's in the bathroom in front of the girlfriend. /
* I go outside to check looks like it'll be nice sunset. Odd tree shaped clouds...mushroom clouds? Nah...but I should go pick up son(@school?). Rushing back home I realize this is a dream and I can just fly...I float up over the house on my right and onto my block (weird version of my neighborhood?). I see a group of people out on a front patio/deck and fly up over to them and one female is sitting in a skirt with her legs spread and I am thinking about having some fun. I hear my alarm going off IWL while still in the dream and consider for a few moments if I should ignore it for a little while but realize that I need to get up and drop off my son and go ahead and wake up (or maybe would have anyway) and found the alarm actually going off (it is a gentle one). Not really trying anything tonight but to sleep due to game latter in day, but some late awakenings added awareness I'm sure. 155

5/25/14 DEILD, WILD, DILD between clear awakenings ~4am 7am 8:30am

5/27/14 2 Nap DILDs between awakenings and NLDs- day off wake from each around 10am & 11am; shutters in odd place, good waking awareness

I think the return of multiple LDs in a night is due to the self-hypnosis script that StephL posted and so far I have used only once but I think it was more effective for me due to the over 1 year of background work on self-awareness and other lucid dreaming fundamentals...I guess we'll see.

I hope to fill in the details later but Girl Friday was there a lot.

I'm scared that I may start to nap too much. I never had much success with naps and to have 2 DILDs in one 2 hour nap session this morning could draw me in to more naps.

5/24/14!*

WILD! Very nice love making session with Girl Friday. I wake up after about 6 hours and I'm very tired but try to wake myself up more first with a little weirdness induction and then just thinking about lucid dreams & my recent boldness initiated lucid dreams. It takes me a little while 2 get back to sleep partly because I tried without my earplugs thinking I was still plenty drowsy and then put them in after a while. Yesterday I start to re-read the open beta exercises but didn't quite get to exercise 2 and I also did the self hypnosis script from Steph's posting about 30 minutes before bed. This is supposed to be quick notes. Anyway the WILD. I am doing my version of SSILD and periodically break off from it to attempt to drift toward sleep but returned to the cycles several times. Eventually I get the feeling of my wife moving in to cuddle from the back and not sure if it is HHs but I feel like I'm close and try not to engage with her physically IWL and I start to get vibrations, I was wondering where the vibrations have gone. I guess I haven't been focusing on WILDs. Anyway I start to nudge on the vibrations but then remembered my plan to remain patient through them and I can tell that they are the stronger kind, the pre-dream kind. At first I get the sensation of being in an ocean again and there is a light blue glowing all around me kind of like the ocean but more floating in the air than anything else with slight ocean sensations. It is quite nice! Like last time I decided I did not want to be in the deep part of the ocean away from shore but instead the scene fades back to my bedroom but I can still tell I am in dreamland. A female outline starts to appear and patiently watch as she materializes but she takes a couple of different forms of different women before finalizing on Girl Friday. At one point she looks like my wife and I went to caress her and start to remove her clothes with foreplay etc and I could see that she
started changing again at first she look like generic version of Girl Friday and I think that's when Girl Friday started to materialize as I realized it looked kind of like her. We start to kiss passionately and slowly remove one item of clothing after another. When we get to removing our bottom underwear the excitement intensifies but I continue to take it slow and enjoy this realistic interaction...nothing else exists for the moment! I reach down and caress her moist flower. After enjoying that for a few moments, I insert while looking deep into her beautiful brown eyes and kiss her some more. She has a look on her face like she thinks I am too large and I ask if she is okay as I want to keep this realistic and romantic. She looks half worried, half excited. I say that it is okay if she is sore the next day as long as nothing and I stop myself from saying anything more or visualizing it lest it happens. We continue on and I think about my
conversations about kissing and looking at the face at the same time during a dream and it is working just fine and enhances the experience as usual but this time I really think about it as I am doing it. As we are going at on the floor I can hear my wife back up on the bed moving around and I think about a dutchraptor style lucidity test and consider calling out to my wife to tell her what I'm up to and maybe have her join us...who knows, she might be excited by the idea...at least in the dreamworld...probably not advisable anywhere else. I then think, what if I end up talking in my sleep so I tell GF to tell my wife what we are up to and she does...she says "We are making love" in a shy voice with a look of love on her face. I feel a rush of romantic love-like feelings. Not long after I find myself back in bed and smiling big and my wife notices and I turn my affection towards her. 148

5/19/14* Short version: walking in a hallway I have a boldness initiated lucid dream (DILD where I get the urge to be bold with a passing woman and realize that it is a dream). I immediately think of my time stopping pocket watch idea from a Twilight Zone episode and I commence to use it to do various depravities to various women. It only freezes the DC's in the immediate vicinity of me and sometimes I have to press down on the pocket watch twice for it to work. I also comically expose myself while flying by some of the ladies. Two ladies turn into like Barbie dolls with no features down there. I run into a family and the mother is only one that won't freeze with my special pocket watch and she chastises me and asks are you really going to do this and I do, pulling up her shirt and feeling on her breasts but I did feel kind of bad afterwards even though this is all a dream, it felt like she had a point. Perhaps I should just enjoy exploring like the two wonderful recent dreams I had but I feel like I should experiment with this time stopping technique again...maybe in preparing for a fight or deciding what action to take...hmmm... This one lasted maybe 5 minutes. 147

5/13/14*! ~1020 150-2:30 NLD recall+wakefulness 4:10wake from LD up til ~5am DJ+windows. ~6:15; More recall, 735 up

Notes: Went to bed a little early and early wake back to bed after only sleeping 3.5 hours but did not do much except think about my recent dream scenario/taking control/being bold DILDs and visualizing it happening again and becoming lucid. Also right before bed I do my simulation of the levitation RC and visualizing moving straight to the task of the month.

I am in a movie theater / restaurant (it was one and then the other) and I head to the bathroom where (on the way) there is a sign that says something like "additional bathrooms to the left with additional amenities!" But I go to the closer one right in front of me am I standing at the urinal when over to the left I see there are a couple of women in another wing of the bathroom taking a peek at me and I let them have a little look but I still don't quite realize I am dreaming yet. I come out and C (wife of A) is in the hall and asked me to wait but I mostly ignore her and I look over into a room down the hall and I think "that looks like M" one of my wife's good friends. I also see M by the same name who is one of my son's friends and that's when I realize this must be a dream to see both of them together in the same odd place (as opposed to a party at my house or something). I say something to that effect and I try to levitate and at first it feels
more like my simulation but then I try again with more intention and confidence and it works. I float up into the air and fly-float around the room. I continue into another room down the hall already thinking about the musical performance task of the month and there is a band already playing and an empty drum set but no drumsticks and there is a crowd gathered set up more like a cocktail lounge with tables throughout and for the most part 2 people at each table, small round tables throughout the room. I tap on the empty drum set with my finger and then turn around and face the audience and start air drumming while imagining the song and while feeling the strong emotion of it: "I can feel it coming in the air tonight" by Phil Collins as planned. The drums start to appear although a little fuzzy and I keep playing and having a blast. Recalling the additional specifics of the task, I look around at the room for the reaction and the crowd seems mostly disinterested, not paying attention. Each table seems to be talking amongst themselves. (Later after the transition in the dream I try to think of another task and I decide against trying the Limerick and I think was it something to do with getting or giving a flower, no there was Sivason's idea of creating a field of flowers but that didn't become one of the tasks, never mind just have some fun. Back to the transition.) I feel the scene fading but I still feel firmly in dreamland and I start spinning and it works again! I think the trick for me now and why I have time to do the spin is that I no longer believe that just because the scene is fading that I have to wake up)! This time I do not think of anything specific but after a short while I start to feel the sensation of floating in water (again) and the sound of the ocean, and again I tell myself I will end up in shallow water and sure enough after what feels like 10-15 seconds later I'm at the foot of the beach and look back at the water. In the
water there are two yellow objects: a small one close by and a large one that looks like an empty raft further out. I decide to go check out the smaller one close by and go back into the water and grab it and it is one of those kid's arm-floaties perhaps another childhood memory. I love smelling those rubber items because they remind me of summer water toys that have that distinct strong chemical smell and remind me of wonderful summers past . I get caught in the tide a little bit but I'm slowly being pushed closer and closer to shore before I decide to just fly / zoom on out of the water and on to the shore. I look back out to the water again and there is a big group of what I assume are natives coming ashore. They seem like a lightly dressed but advanced civilization due to their hover-like boats that they come in to shore on (& later by the way that they talk), each with their own "boat" for the most part, a few with small kids along for the ride. They don't seem to see me at first and just come on to the shore in front of me and start walking over to my right. I call out to them and one man who seems to be the leader of the group comes over to me. I ask if they can bring me two of their most beautiful women. Just behind and next to him is a beautiful woman that looks quite a bit like Natalie Portman and I say she will be perfect. She walks over to me and seems fascinated by my mole as if it is some kind of sign and she kisses me on the lips. The leader guy may be with her and he looks a little jealous and he walks over to me also taking note of the mole and reaches around to the back of my neck and feels the bone protruding at the base of the back of my neck and seems to determine something from that and looks at me like I am strange and not like them. I tell him I come from a different time and place. It seems like a different time because it feels like if it were on earth it would be something similar to an Egyptian civilization but perhaps I'm not even on earth in this dream, thus a different place. This woman is so beautiful and I just hold her standing side by side admiring her body and touching her firm buttocks. She's wearing something like an intricate string bikini with lots of extra strings/straps wrapping around her waist area and connected to the bottom piece and something similar to her top covering but less strings/straps at top. It is beige in color as is the clothing of all of them. She is a great kisser! I start looking for the second woman and there is a younger one on the ground half-naked with no top on and while looking around and all the people I start to fade back to bed and can tell that I am clearly awake now. What an awesome dream! 146

I later had a false awakening where I was writing down my sports dream where the other player cheated in order to score. While reviewing the notes I noticed that what I wrote didn't make sense and I woke up.

I will be brief on these 2 sexual LDs:
5/9: cute woman, see her naked backside at beach and feel bold and recognize that as a dream scenario=DILD, I went over to her and she gave me a very realistic bj, a very good bj that felt like it would be "professional." Another couple came in and the lady was very cute and was right next to me so I tried to reach back and open up her blouse while getting the bj from the original cute woman but the guy with her took her away. The bj portion lasted several minutes at least. 144

5/10 ex's family (talked about her this day) cg peeking at me changing, feeling frisky but don't yet realize I'm dreaming and go to bed in the dream: in dream wild...wow I think, I started dreaming quick!...as soon as my head hit the pillow! I'm dreaming! Same room cg + other women. Put her hands down my pants and go for a while before seeing another beautiful woman and walking over to her putting her hands down my pants feeling her "ahem" moist through her underwear and then we both get naked and I put it in and out slowly and I talk dirty to her and she loves it. Nice lengthy LD. 145

5/7* this entry is mainly for notes that I forgot to add to my last entry and will add my LD this morning which was fairly short just before waking up for the day.

Factors that may have to contributed to my previous very nice LD (previous DJ entry):

-self-awareness (recent refocus on)
-open beta exercises
-weirdness induction second night in a row(now 3rd)
-taking control / boldness dream sign second night in a row (as of 5/6 LD)
-ssild

The one I had this morning was very close to when I get up for the day and I usually have very low awareness and I am usually very zoned out. I was also very tired from my game last night so I wasn't planning on trying but I did do a little weirdness induction when I got up to go to the bathroom but quickly went back to sleep. I think I even felt a little tired in the dream. Anyway I was in my old bedroom at M Boulevard and I saw a man and woman walking in the front yard and I thought that was strange and they were turning around towards the side of the house and I thought this seems like a dream scenario. This is a thought I have had more often recently...of scenarios feeling like a dream scenario. Sure enough the guy comes up to the window and is trying to come into the window and I play around with him a bit pointing my finger at him like a gun considering summoning a gun and shooting him but then I thought well let me talk to him and ask him what his name is. His face does look slightly familiar. He has kind of an odd nose and a half-homely face with brown hair (in waking the only person I can think of makes me think he did
kind of look like DP from high school, the one who lived about one quarter mile to the right of my street but I think it may have been someone else that I've seen somewhere). He said his name was Hareuna. I ask him to say it again and he spells it. As I'm confirming the spelling, I wake up. I see online a few people with Arabic names with Hareuna in their name...google search says are you sure you don't mean Haruna which seems to be a Japanese name and battleship. I don't remember ever seeing that name before, though I could have forgotten. 143

5/5/14* Epic for me!..the part I am referring to starts at the ocean/beach further into the first lucid (blue) section. Got a great balance of self-awareness and dream environment attention and vividness! Weirdness induced second night in a row, but this time intentionally. This may be too personally felt for anyone else to get it. Also I was getting HH's while wife was getting up to get ready and there are only two of us in the house but I could hear the door closing on the other side of the house at the same time I felt my bed bouncing a little bit like when someone gets in or out of bed and that was a little bit freaky but I took it as HH's and I stay calm (which was it...was the bed movement or the door closing the HH...or both? ha ha!). Dream: We are in a big group seem to be traveling and we are in like a passport or visa line in Paris (the dream tells me this but I am not sure how, perhaps from earlier in the dream) but I am disappointed to see that we arrived in one of the suburbs and at first there is a huge line I see over to the left and I hope that that is not the line we're getting in but no we are dropped off to another place. There doesn't seem to be a line and we just have to go down this series of stairs, more and more stairs until finally I'm in this line but it is an amusement park line for some ride. It is a train of 4 to 6 cars each half-dome shaped with space for two. I've lost everyone except for one girl that is with us. But then I notice that I got out of line somehow on the exit side of the ride and the ride operator wouldn't let me get back on with the person I was with so now she was on the ride and taking off and the ride operator said something smart and I got upset at him and I thought it makes me just want to punch the guy and as I think about actually punching him I realize wait a minute that's a dream-like scenario taking control and punching someone and I realize I'm dreaming and I think about the musical performance task of the month and how I had already planned on doing it, but first I punch the guy. So I start playing air guitar and I the guitar appears and then I started doing air drums imagining the song by Phil Collins "I can feel it coming in the air tonight" I forget the title. Everything goes fuzzy but the crowd, I can start to hear the crowd getting louder and louder forming around me and there was already a crowd in the line of the ride but then I imagine them cheering and continue playing the drums and I am having a blast when I feel the dreamscape fading and I remember to try to spin and I fade into the void. In the void I tried to go back to where I was, with me performing, but nothing was happening fast enough so I remember my old reliable happy place, an ocean beach. As I imagine the scene I can start to hear ocean waves very gentle but repetitive rolling in along with seagulls calling and I patiently wait and it feels like I'm starting to float in slightly undulating water and I decide I don't want it to be too deep I want to be close to shore so I can explore the land and I do feel the water shallow...success! I feel the water up to my shins and the scene appears around me it is a grassy ocean with long green something not really kelp but it looks more like thick green grass and it grows above the surface of the very calm waters a little bit maybe half a foot or so and at the edge of the short beach (or high tide) it is like a big ruins wall with an arch opening in it and a column rising up from it up to the right. It looks like what remains of a wall or maybe the façade of a structure. It is maybe 50 yards wide (~50 meters) and maybe 25 or 30 yards high. I decide to fly up to the top of it and have a look around on top of the ruins. At the top of one smaller column I take a closer look and notice that the bricks are made of thin layers of tiny bricks joined together in sheets almost, kind of like reddish adobe clay perhaps, each layer is very intricate there is what I estimate to be about 10 little bricks going across one way with a thin connecting layer between each and then I guess that it must be about 10 going across the other way but when I count I get beyond 12 and I think that there are a few more than that and this layer of connected bricks looks to be only about a quarter-inch thick and it is pliable and I'm kind of messing it up like it is not dry yet and I decide to move on. I fly up over the wall and there are so many miniature things, toys and what not and I fly over to another ruin wall and stop and then fly down again to take a closer look there's this one set of toys that is all in an Arabian theme. There are several guys on camels and they look like royalty, nicely dressed with attire hooded over their head as you might expect from some Arabian tales and not dissimilar to the wise men typically seen in a nativity scene. These are very nice figurines. They were obviously set up in an array perhaps like a kid might set up to play with but neatly or like set up for a museum miniature display. These figures look like they were a good 12-18 inches tall or so. I'm really loving this and decide to keep exploring and go past one of the other ruins and it becomes like a room with a little window box on the far end and more displays inside there. I think about whether or not to fly or phase into that window box display thing but I just think why?..it could cause complications for the stability of the dream. I turn around and there are so many different things in this room and as I head towards the door-like opening I see there is a big glass display case like a curio cabinet and I can see part of my reflection and I notice I'm only wearing underwear and I say well let's see what my thing looks like in this dream. I pull down my underwear and it is kind of a retracted and not much 2 speak of...more like a child's. This dreamscape is so fascinating (and I think that it is some kind of representation of my child-like fantasies of exploring ancient ruins and also the imagination that went along with playing with toy figurines when I was a kid. This was a feeling I recently recaptured when doing the open beta exercises. It is like how when you were a kid you could look at an area under a bush and imagine it as a cool world for your figurines to play in or for your toy soldiers to fight in and I think that is how this world came to be even though I started off imagining the beach and got the beach with the grassy ocean.) As I go on through the door-like arch the dream feels like it is fading but I decided not to fight it because I don't want to forget all of the details of the dreamscape I just explored or the dream before with me performing musically. When I woke up I was quite pleased with myself, and though it may not sound that interesting to many people, it was utterly fascinating to me and I absolutely loved it! It felt like playing somewhere in my subconscious! I can imagine that this is one of those dreams that may only mean a lot to me. I also don't want to consider counting it as TOTM completion because I have more I want to do with that task and I am afraid I won't go back to it if I already have the wings. Awesome fun! 142

Never put last nights LD in my DJ:
5/4* (copying from the TOTM post. I was on a cruise ship vacation in two different dreams this night but only including the TOTM related one here.)

Had an attempt at advanced ii...but I am most happy with my self-awareness during the LD and also breaking away from my typical LD slant (though that kind of sexual thinking helped me realize it was a dream).

I am back on the cruise ship and I see some movement involving a woman in this big glass windowed room/atrium and I think about going in but then it occurs to me that this is a dream scenario for me...I might be...I must be...yeah...I will float up and prove it to myself. Sure enough I float up maybe 20 feet in the air and think that this is a great location to do the musical performance task in front of a large audience on a cruise ship. (Dream control poison removed to protect the dream schema of the innocent). I am now flying over an odd version of a vast ocean. Instead of a realistic ocean it is very light blue for as far as I can see in all directions with symbols in a symmetrical pattern throughout. The repeating symbol was kind of like a yin & yang symbol but with a dolphin on one side and a graphical representation of a wave on the other. I try flying in different directions and still thinking about how to find a large audience and I tell myself that I will begin seeing a city. The seascape starts to change but instead of starting to see a city I suddenly find myself in a large dark, dusty room with a fireplace mantle on one end and a few decorations hanging around it and several old dusty chairs sitting on the right and left side of the room. I find this very interesting to have such a drastic change in scene and look around in amazement. This place looks most like an abandoned retirement home and I feel like this room is probably the recreational room where they would play bingo and what not. I decide that I can still make this work, I just need to summon a bunch of people like I did in last months TOTM, but I tried to summon everyone in with one idea. The idea was that I could hear the crowd building and cheering flowing into the room and I could start to hear it when I felt the dream quickly dissipate. Perhaps I should have brought groups of people in, one at a time, like I did last month thinking I may have tried to do too much at once or perhaps I was coming to the end of my REM anyway. 141

5/1/14* I remember thinking that I got #140, so waking memory was present in several spots during the night hinting at some good self awareness in spots including waking memory of a recent event in the last few weeks, but for the life of me I can't bring back the whole LD, just the "outline" of it. Usually I have no problem remembering LDs (unless I have forgotten a lot more than I realize) but on a few occasions in the past I have had the feeling that I had an LD during the night and then it would all come flowing back to me, remembering the details. This one must have fell into a false awakening I am thinking because of the recall issue and if I actually woke up from the dream I am sure I would have recalled more. All I know is that I was in a work environment when I noticed something weird and realized that I was dreaming. I remember taking off flying and ending up in a void and flying different directions while trying to imagine a new scene and at some point I was thinking that I got to LD #140. That's all I can remember for now. The other waking memory was of someone who left my company a few weeks ago and in the dream I realized that he no longer worked there but the dreaming mind created the scenario that he was just visiting. I even thought about whether or not I could get in trouble for letting him be in the building but seeing that other authorities saw him as well, I decided that it must be fine. Also interesting to me is that all 3 of the people have "g" sounds in their first names. In another dream(?) in work scenario "S" from office was pointing out why a particular request couldn't go out yet due to (bc) not being completed and that made complete sense in the dream and IWL reality. Other dreams include some self-surgery on the bottom of my toe, impatient with the doctor who had another patient in the room - a naked woman being examined. I removed too much tissue. Another dream I was on a spinning amusement park ride that was indoors and spinning quite fast with lots of "G's." For some reason I had the idea that FryingMan was on the ride as well and I remember joking around that "we're all gonna die!" like something was wrong with the ride and I remember one guy's face looking very concerned and I just laughed. At the end of the ride, the girl behind me was with another guy but she was touching my arm behind the cover of part of the ride in an intentional flirty way. I also saw a college couple having sex and the particulars gave a strong indication that this scene came about due to incubation. 140

4/29/14* My wife moved abruptly to turn off her alarm (timing was right IWL), but due to all of the HH's I get with my wife moving, I took it as an HH and kept my awareness basically attempting a DEILD. I had the sensation of laying in bed but a visual, over to my right, of myself (I assume) floating face down above the bed. That scene and the following was too much of a lengthy continuous scene to have been HH. I think this might have been influenced by a scene in the poorly rated movie "Apparition" that I saw over the weekend where the main character sees himself stuck on the ceiling and is unable to move on the bed either but eyes wide open (looked like sleep paralysis) while his girlfriend is being attacked by an unseen force. Mine was more of a dark outline of a male body on the ceiling. I believe it caught me in one of the NREM stages but the bizarreness of it eventually woke me up for real (or my wife moving again). I remained calm but continued to get rotating dark figures above me so I just laid back...mostly enjoying the show. Very memorable. 139

4/25/14* I saw 2 sets of people in my dream that I don't remember dreaming about before from waking life and people I haven't seen for a while. One I haven't seen for probably 25 years (MB) and the other set were my wife's uncles L, P, & E , two of which I saw maybe 3 or 4 years ago and one of them about seven years ago perhaps. Also there was C from the office & bro-law B. I did get news feeds from facebook for them recently including just last night on the one that I haven't seen for 25 years.

To bed 11pm. Not trying anything tonight but I woke up at 4 a.m. from a disturbing dream related to possession. Basically "D" from the office was looking at me and saying that there's something wrong with you and I kind of laugh it off and later he says oh your left sleeve is bundled up oddly like you are possessed, however that connection was made! I joke around about being possessed but I also think about some of the people who think lucid dreaming could lead to something like that. He says you shouldn't joke around, you've got a strange vibe about you and I make a growling noise as a joke but when I did that I felt very strange and backed off from my joking and woke up. I think that raised my awareness quite well which resulted in the unintentional dild in the dream below.

(R-rated sexual content - if you don't visualize the words)
I was at a party (I think @my sister in laws house) and I was leaving the party getting ready to walk to my car and one of the women at the party walked up to me and said hey wait maybe I can walk with you because
my house is around the corner. it seems she didn't want to walk alone, it was night time. After a little walk she comes to her car. I guess she lives far enough around the corner to have driven and she tells me to get in she will show me her house and then take me back to my car. She has a 6 unit building and she lives in one of the units even though there are no multi family dwellings in the neighborhood...this doesn't occur to me at the time. She starts to take me back to my car but she's driving backwards instead of turning around. I go with it but then she starts rolling up on a curb, a steep curb and I can feel the car tilt but I remind myself that the tilt is not severe enough to turn the car over and surely she's about to roll back off the curb but then she keeps going and now she's heading towards a cliff. As we approach the cliff I realize how improbable this is and that it feels like a dream scenario but as we're dropping off the cliff I'm not
100% sure so I think well there's nothing I can do at this point anyway might as well enjoy the ride down either way. I can feel the strong g's particularly on my face from dropping and it feels so realistic like one of those drop tower rides but I am 99% sure that it is a dream now. A thought pops in my head that well if I we're about to die we might as well have last sex and it seems like at that point the vehicle stops dropping and it is now a large van. The woman seems to have heard my thoughts or was thinking the same thing and lays down on the floor of the van and pulls up her shirt. She is not wearing a bra underneath. We both start taking off our pants and underwear and the driver of the van, like one of those large shuttle vans starts walking back towards us like she its going to tell us off. I look up at her and the woman on the floor starts giving me a bj and it feels very realistic I start looking around this shuttle van and looking down at the woman who is giving me the bj and I am fascinated by
all of the realism. Her eyes, her eyebrows, her hair. Apparently this is a bus full of nurses and they all look so realistic as well but I don't have ideas for the others yet and in fact the nurses all start giving us reasons why we should not be doing this which seems to be trying to tug at my lucidity. Instead I find myself back in bed, awake. *Now this is a little bit of a strange coincidence but my wife woke up and told me she had a bad dream. She almost never remembers our dreams and rarely talks about them and thinks it's strange that I focus on my dreams and that I lucid dream. She said she had a dream that she was at a party (like mine) and I was there with a woman and I was being nice to her like she was my new woman or something and my wife got very upset and left. Not necessarily an uncommon thing to have a dream about being at a party & jealousy, but I thought it was interesting. Lately my self-awareness still seems to be lower as it has swung more towards my surroundings.

4/13, 4/19, 4/21

4/13/14* 1225+ 2? 620 while trying to wild I have an FA where I am writing an interesting line from my previous dream in my bedside dream journal and my wife pinches me in the butt as if to say what are you doing writing again in the middle of the night? After a moment I realize it is a false awakening (didn't count this one in my LD count as I think I quickly fell asleep in the FA) and later when I do wake up I remember it and I remember most of the line I was trying to write down because I was repeating it in my head during the false awakening . It was like one of those guys (I forget what you call them the guy is there to lure you in at a circus sideshow) and he was saying "step right up, come right in, come one come all. Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages behold the magnificent Ruska something something tuska?"...some kind of ryhme that I found to be funny and I did not want to forget. Then on to remembering my dream after the false awakening that led to a dild...

My wife, my nephew & I are at some shopping mall and we are getting ready to head back home and I tease my nephew who seemed ready to go saying it will only take about 4.5 hours to get home. (Funny 4.5 hours just like my favorite wake back to bed time.) I turn around through the parking lot trying to go out a different way but suddenly I see an image of my side door to the garage and realize that is strange since we're not home yet could this be a dream? I'm confused for a moment. I told my wife that she better drive home and I will fly home in case this is some kind of vision of a break in that is really happening (doh!) and then I say wait a minute...fly...of course yes I am dreaming and I fly. I am back at home, most like waking life home and I tell myself to forget about the broken door since I am dreaming. I hear a woman singing lightly like she was following along with a song on the radio and I float/fly up over the fence and I do not see her in
the side yard. I look up and see an open window and float up there to the second story and inside I see a man with his two young sons in a bedroom and I think of the prank task of the month and I say hey to one of the kids and duck out of sight like I am leaving but then I pop back up and scare the boy. I then go on to a lot of fun first calling the wife in to the room simply calling out hey wife come here and she even answers something like yes honey and comes into the room...at this point the father and kids disappear and I summon additional people doing additional fun games with them but not really pranks and I summon two more sets of people until the room was full with a lot of people. I may break down the details later in my dream journal...but it is a little embarrassing...nothing new I guess for my dream journal. (Ok so it basically was creating an orgy scene but the first time I just said let's bring over a bunch of the couple's friends. The
attractiveness of the friends was not too good so for the 2nd set I said all of your beautiful friends and have them undress. It was still a mixed group of beautiful and not so beautiful people laying all over each other. I would say there were 20 or more people in the room. As I am looking at my creation still floating outside the open window. Before the orgy scene I had the wife undress. She was a little over weight but had very nice large breasts.) 133

4/19* ~1130 230? 5? 620-7late wbtb/nap light oatmeal. I am attempting to wild and I eventually get vibrations and I stay patient. It turns into a false awakening waking up on a couch at the top of the stairs in a house most like my current one. My son is sitting next to me on the couch. I can hear someone downstairs and I can see from my spot on the couch a woman down below although her face is just out of view. She is wearing black tights with a floral print. At first I wonder if it is "A" from up north but then I figured out it is and/or willed her to be "B" when she was in her 20's. This frisky thinking seemed to dematerialize my clothes which felt awkward for a moment with my son next to me but it's a dream I remind myself. As I am considering my next move, I lose the dream. WILDs..sometimes too fragile for me! 134

4/21* 11-1130 half awake. Set intention to wake at 4.5 hours and close! ~3:47 for wbtb, 6 wake from LD. Apple juice before bed. Nice and vivid NLDs before my DEILD. Clear, feeling the sun on my skin and the heat in the air, "knowing" it was midday around noon at a golf course with wife in golf attire. Later I think I had my 2nd case of true SP. It led to a DEILD! I was awoken by something and felt like I was being held down, but after trying to move and not being able to, I realized the situation and stayed calm and turned it positive! I have felt heaviness several times before but usually recognize the feeling before attempting to struggle so some of those may have been different. I started imagining a beautiful woman was on top of me and sure enough, very nice! She is also the same nationality as my wife. We have full blown realistic feeling sex in a large hotel room bed, apparently continuing the travelling/vacation theme from earlier. She eventually walks out of the
room satisfied and another gorgeous woman walks in with sound equipment and wiring wearing one piece jumpsuit with a tool belt and she asks me if my ahem is under those sheets where I am still completely naked. She is also the same nationality as my wife and she uses a term in their language for my ahem. I say yes and she takes a look. I actually plan on leaving the room and was telling her that I just finished up with the woman that just left and may be spent. She remarks that it doesn't look that way, you look ready. I say you are right, why not. We have full blown realistic sex also. I can't get over the realism and her sexiness. Wake around 6 smiling big. Some more late dreams with my typical (but not always) late morning fogginess. 135

4/12/13** My awareness is still not up to pre dry streak levels but 3 LDs in 2 days...I'll take it! Lots of fun as well! To bed around 12:10am - tried to simulate son waking me like on 3/30/14 which launched a nice early LD, this time using a gentle alarm ~70 minutes after bed for DEILD attempt but may have had some REM rebound the previous time...will try 80 minutes next time. Completely missed the 3 snoozes 1 hour apart and turned it off at wbtb...my alarm app has a max snooze of 60 minutes so...may be better for late DEILD attempts.

Interesting non lucid tie-in to another non-lucid in same night. Father Fitzpatrick (name not known to me but I bet there are a few somewhere in the world) is coming by and a Patrick comes by...could it be Patrick Fitzpatrick I wonder...no just a Patrick. In a later dream I tell Father Fitzpatrick "You will not believe this! I had a dream about you last night and this is the first time I am meeting you!"

DILD 1 - wake from it ~8:40am. I am in a kitchen unlike any from my memory, old style. There is a bag of candies but only 5 left and they look picked over and broken. I am peeking out my curtains and apparently there is a house in the back yard, like an in-law unit but it is a good size white single story home that looked most like an old farm house. I could see someone in the window and then the curtains close. I go back into the kitchen and there is a stranger standing in front of the sink and I realize this is a dream. I decide to knock around the stranger and go on a bit of a rampage around the house messing with different DC's and eventually fly up out of the house and then realize I should fly back down and think about what goals I should do before losing awareness or most likely waking up since I don't recall anything after and my recall was fairly strong tonight.

* sexual content warning *
DILD 2 - wake from it ~10:50am - 2 different components from this WILD attempt turned DILD showed up in my dream - an HI that I played with via visualization and then a completely manual visualization. My father and I are on a bus or RV and guiding the driver. I have been here before (false memory) and it goes from 3 lanes to 1. "You can get over one lane...actually you can get all the way over now." We jump out to help in some way and plan to get back on at the red light but the driver runs the red light and leaves us behind. We cross two crosswalks at intersection to get on same street he turned down to see if he pulled over. Nope. We go into a nice hotel lobby and my father says he has the driver's number. I should get it also I think. My father jumps on a University transport bus to borrow a phone but the doors close=2nd separation (1st from others on RV/bus). I know if I stay at the hotel he will find his way back to me and he does later and it has shopping like the hotel is connected to a mall or just a really large hotel with some shops including an ice cream shop. My father makes some corny joke to the lady in the shop and repeats it in case she missed it the first time. I see a woman standing provocatively and realize I am dreaming but start off with lower awareness. She is standing on a ramp elevated purposely giving a view up her skirt and I take a look (this was also the theme of an HI before the dream). I go around like a bit of a dog and enjoyed in particular this large breasted blonde woman (more blonds than normal I think as a result of Scarlett) with a white pull over shirt and jean shorts. I pull up her shirt and she pulls it back down. I tell her "you know you like this" and she goes along. I pull it up again and am expecting a bra clasp in the front and lower the shirt and raise it again willing it to be in the front. Nope, so I reach around and undo the clasp. Nice! I remove her shorts and underwear and my own and she remarks "I think your **** is too big, you might hurt me" but as I stick it in she enjoys it. We go at it a good while to the point of me thinking that this dream just keeps going and going. I carry her around the mall with her legs straddled around me and continue to have sex. We make our way into a movie theater and my father has followed...oh well. They are playing a racy movie on the screen and we continue to have sex in the theater seating. Someone grasps my shoulders from behind and I know that it is my wife. She says "you have saliva all over your ****" I say "saliva...uh, yeah right..." I use my mind to change the movie to a cartoon. There are kids around but I am dreaming, it doesn't really matter. A's friend M (another visualization before dream) comes over and the blond is gone now and she sticks her hand on my **** she just has to get a feel on it. My underwear is back on but I yank it out and let her feel it some more. I wake up physically affected...enough said.

4/11/14* Not a high-level LD but my previous one launched me too high that it took me a while to find my way back and break my dry streak. I thought dry streaks of more than several days were in the rear view mirror. This was my longest in 9 months! I got over confident and complacent among other things. I started to get my recall back up to respectable levels over the last few days and noticed my awareness was up before my LD early this morning. I also had a 2am and 1:30am bedtime last Friday and Saturday night that didn't help. During the dry spell I had a "false" lucid about a week ago where I was in a room with a group of other people and I was trying to do telekinesis and saying to the others "see it is not working" before floating up in the air and saying oh wow, at least that is working...but not a lick of self awareness...it was as if I treated the whole affair as real life in which I can do these things...dreaming of lucid dreaming powers with no true realization that I was dreaming and that I can make the TK work if I really want to.

In dream WILD (DILD) or DEILD: I am laying on the couch and the TV is on, my wife and nephew are nearby also. I can see that my eldest nephew is coming around to get the remote and change my "boring show" and I retrieve it. I vibration is felt in the room like when our surround sound system hits a low note and my nephew looks scared. I get the impression that he is scared because he experiences vibrations at night and I tell him that vibrations are nothing to be scared of, that they are just a sign of entering or exiting sleep and if you maintain that thought through them you can have a lucid dream! I start to feel the very type of vibrations that I am talking about and realize that I am dreaming and basically am exiting one dream and have the chance to enter another and I take my own advice to heart. (I had repeated a mantra several times at WBTB that I would recognize vibrations since that had worked off and on in the past.) Various images like HI's come into view and I treat them as HI's but in hindsight they may have been all part of the same dream...either way I was resolved to remain patient having recently read someone describe two types of vibrations, mild and heavy, with the former only being signs of heading into sleep but not necessarily directly into the dream...these vibrations were kind of in between but on the stronger end of the spectrum. A lot of the images were nice scenery and the last one was like a peep hole that grew and grew until I was inside an apartment with a man and a topless blond woman (maybe influenced by Scarlett incubation, looked a little like her). They both look at me like, haha, he showed up at an opportune time, catching you topless and all. She stands there with her hand on her him in a sassy pose knowing that I am liking what I am seeing. I decide to ignore the guy and pretend like he isn't there and I know that usually makes a DC disappear and make my way over to her but unfortunately I seemed to be at the end of REM and probably could have easily exited REM at the time of the vibrations if I hadn't been paying attention to them.

I had a couple of normal dreams with no awareness and a couple with some awareness including an interesting one that was along an underground river/sewer system (no smell, just creepy in spots) and one of 3 people were being fired or sent home early. I had to inspect the system on my own (not my job IWL!) and at first I start off in a canoe but later I am in the water and thinking about how they said it is 7 feet deep in spots. As I travel along I think to myself "I hope I don't run into any bodies in the water" and shortly after see an odd looking skull, must be an animal skull but it looks alien. The water gets shallow in spots and I am horizontal floating on my stomach and can feel a soft-sandy-like surface just below the water before waking up.

3/30/14 *!! **

1145to bed, ~130son home, 152wake from LD#1, 202 til 219 DJing awake thinking 257-305still+earplugs 425wake from LD#2 550wake from LD#3. Factors for early LD & 3 in one night=awareness raised by my son coming home. The timing of this early awareness would be best replicated with a DEILD alarm. Plus apple juice maybe 6 ounces and lots of milk with cereal before bed=effect?

I remember being lucid just before so it was either DEILD > lose lucidity >regain lucidity...or DEILD attempt ++awareness > DILD > lose lucidity >regain lucidity within same dream for LD#1. In the last part where I regained lucidity I had a terrific experience! I am in my car operating some car elevator that moves a car on or off of a ship. I decide I need to go back and in operating it back down it malfunctions and my car starts falling and falling. The way that I am falling makes me realize that I am dreaming. I begin to fly on my own and I'm above a city with lots of hills, green hills but very built up with so many things going on! I have the feeling that this is a foreign city, a very busy foreign city. There are not usually so many things going on in my lucid dreams. I see the word Hacienda on a sign. I think to look for more words and landmarks and see "lower level" in the stadium section of seats and I hear the crack of a bat hitting a
baseball... It's a baseball stadium! But I flew by it so quick and the stands are set up very unusually as if each section was separate and not immediately congruent to the baseball field. I keep going and I start thinking of looking for something to examine close up. This place is so green and I'm swooping around at quite a speed. Green hills within the city and DCs everywhere I am just amazed at all of the graphics processing of my brain but realize that the resolution is more like a great video game than HD reality. I find this house on a hill top and see a sexy woman. Another woman says a warning to the sexy woman and she runs inside and I try to follow but I stay bigger than the small area I'm trying to enter, it is staying small like it was in my view from up above. It is as if my brain did not correct the size when I swoop down to this house or it is as if this was always a miniature world and I a flying giant. Anyway, I try to approach the
woman but she won't stop running and screaming so I grabbed her gently like a giant grabbing a miniature dollar something looking at her, she is very cute. I start taking off her clothes but my fingers are so big I feel like King Kong with the damsel but more frisky I guess. She does not seem to mind anymore! I carefully pinch my forefinger and my thumb together several times until I can grab a piece of the fabric of her blouse and pull it away. I am very curious and I find that underneath she is wearing a black and white striped bra and I repeat the same steps to remove it. I start fading back to bed trying a quick DEILD but I seem to be at the end of that REM cycle and I can hear my son on the phone so I get up to see what is up. I lay back down and attempt to induce my wife into an LD by telling her that she is dreaming. 127

LD#2 is a WILD attempt where at first I think I'm just getting a dreamlet of a bank scene but as it continues I realize that is a full fledged dream that I'm completely inside of and I am in the bank with a gun, an automatic gun and apparently I am robbing a bank for some reason . It sounds like fun so I continue with the scenario. Some hero from the bank is running around trying to mess me up and I start firing the automatic weapon chasing him around the bank with the bullets and after about 20 plus rounds of bullets the gun jams up. The scene fates into very intricate grid pattern. I have gotten good patterns before I always find it fascinating but this one was more intricate than I remember previous ones being. Like I was in the movie Tron or something. It is also kind of similar to floating through space but instead of stars there are lines everywhere and I just enjoy it until I eventually fade back to bed. 128

LD#3 I can remember the beginning of this dream quite well , the non-lucid part. There is a female cop on the run for something that she didn't do. There is a Native American cop like reservation police who is looking for her and feels that she is innocent and wants to help her. He calls out for her as he is standing several feet from his truck and the truck starts rolling away. It rolls over a fence and is heading towards his partner as he runs after it . It knocks his partner in the head with a glancing blow and he falls to the ground but there are more wheels to follow and one runs over his head, gross! I cover my eyes a little bit and now this whole thing is playing out like a movie. The Native American cop witnesses his partner's head being ran over and vomits a bright green fluorescent colored vomit! I think to myself "I didn't need to see that...that didn't need to be part of the movie!" I seem to wonder about the color of the vomit perhaps
semi-lucidly. I feel myself back in bed and there is a heavy weight on top of me. I recognize this feeling and stay calm. I decide that it is a woman on top of me even though she feels more heavy then the average woman. I make a few thrusts upwards in an intercourse motion and I am able to mentally reorient myself to where I am on top of her and fully in the dream. I am on top of a beautiful sexy woman and we proceed to have sex until I fade back to bed. 129

A couple of key points that I noted in my dream journal were that I was staring at the back of my closed eyelids and as images formed I would look past them like the way you might stare off into the distance. It felt like a key to dealing with HI's and dreamlets. This was used in my WILD attempt.

3/27* I wake up from a non lucid dream where I saved a baby but the baby was partly unconscious but the father was already assuming the worst and heartbroken and I could not get him to look at the eye movement of the baby as proof that she would survive. I am able to convince the mother who comes up running. I have this feeling that I was lucid earlier perhaps in the dream before this one and I think was I flying? No I don't think so. And then I remembered it involved having sex with my wife! I remember this while I was reading the above dream in my bedside dream journal! It all started coming back to me! I realize that it is easier to forget a lucid dream especially earlier in the night when you have regular dreams follow it and your recall is not the best. Heck I forget things from waking life. I won't go into full details but someone had just left the room and my wife's mom or my dad I think was the one who just left the room. I feel like I am
probably dreaming but not as sure as usual for some reason and there's also danger of that person coming back in. I do the nose pinch and I can breathe through but I wonder if I really close my nose and I decide to look at my hand and at first I think it looks normal but then I definitely count six fingers. I proceed to have quite a time with my wife and we do a number of things that we don't commonly do and a lot of interesting things happen that don't quite make sense but very enjoyable. I am leaving out the details for obvious reasons but the sexual experience lasted maybe 4 minutes I would say, so not the longest LD. I fade back to bed. 126

One more note of interest to myself at least...the next night waking up on March 30th I had a dream involving something like 40% of the details of my evening out that very night! I usually find that the connections are a little harder to make between the residue and the dream content.

These are some quick recaps, mainly for my records but anyone is welcome to read. LD on 3/22 was interesting in that it was in one of those late dreams where my awareness usually starts to dip again and it did feel like one of those dreams but I managed to become lucid. The next two LDs were interesting in that they both had to do with my path/orientation in the dream and that they were recognizable as dream scenarios (general dream signs). I attribute this to my awareness work where I retrace my steps during the day with a view from the outside of myself and then from within where I am self aware in a more recent tweak to my perspective that involves noticing something you don't normally notice like the way that you normally don't see your nose (it blends into your view but is visible if you look for it) and to my review of specific and general dream signs. I feel like there is a shift in the way that I am becoming lucid lately. I am hopeful that it is becoming more natural and/or that I am solidifying neural pathways to easier lucidity (neuroplasticity I am hoping). I guess we will see. It also seems like I am having more awareness in dreams where I don't quite become lucid. I am recognizing DC's of people I know or knew IWL that I never think about and perhaps were always there but just didn't have the awareness to make the connection?? I don't know.

Quick Takes:

3/22 DILD: in an American style football game I played the first 3 downs in the quarterback position starting from the 20 yard line and there was a dirty play against me in the last down that made me realize that this was a dream and how I was just in bed trying to WILD. I thought it would be fun to throw off the helmet of the dirty player and start whacking him and did. After a number of whacks I am just laying on the playing field feeling tired and from there I faded back to bed. 123

3/23 DILD: I am looking for this woman I saw earlier and make my way outside and I notice that I lost my way and the path looks quite different from before and I am not progressing forward normally/~slow motion. I realize that I am dreaming and realize that I can just fly out of here but the dream still wants some control and I start flying backwards and just go with it and it allows me to start flying normally again up and away but then again the dream wants control and leaves me drifting towards space but I am not worried, I have been there and love it and it stops again and I end up on a very tall building. I think about jumping but I am wondering if that might send me into the void so I look at the building next to me and decide to do some Spiderman swings upwards and over to various buildings with what seems more like rope than web. I feel like a child again. I fly some more before what I assume was an FA. 124

3/25 DILD: I am on a porch talking to an old co-worker (N) and we see a group of guys go by and one of them looks like Tom Petty but then it is as if we just saw that on a tv screen or something and I ask something like "since when is Tom Petty on that show?" She said "Oh you didn't know" and I figured out we were talking about 2 different shows and the one she mentioned was a reality show involving fighting. I get the idea that the fighters in the show are coming for me and it is time to get out of there. Now no one is around and the area looks a little different like I don't know my way and all of this feels like a dream scenario, okay yes well I can just fly out of this confusion so I do and the flight serves as my RC. I fly down and around looking for the fighters planning on showing them a thing or two before either losing lucidity, waking up, maybe had an FA on this one as well. 125