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    JoannaB

    Working at the Library, and Search for the Missing Desk

    2 Comments
    by
    JoannaB
    , 10-27-2013 at 11:02 AM (713 Views)
    I was working at the library. Not a library I know, but seems too important a place to just call It "a library". I had recently started the job, and was trying to impress.

    I had finished my regular task, whatever a was. So I had grabbed a bunch of applications and had started to make messy comments on them, when I in mid task realized that maybe they mattered more, and I should have been less messy in commenting. In fact my new boss later found them, and reprimanded me on it, and I said I knew that they were too messy, but that I had done them before I knew what I was doing, but that now I knew, and in fact I had done several much better since, but I had left them at a table in the library, so once I retrieved them, I would show her that those were much better.

    It transpired that for my job I had not really been expected to comment on these applications, but that if I did, I had to do it right. I explained that I knew that for my job I was just expected to wait between assignments at my station, but that I felt too overqualified for that, and needed something to do in between, so that is why I decided to comment on applications as well.

    There was a woman named Jin who also worked in the library, but was more established there and somewhat mysterious. In the dream she actually had a full name, not just a first name, and while I did not realize it in the dream, her full name was the name of a person I work with in waking life who is a DBA of Chinese ethnic origin. The dream did not portray her anything like waking though. In the dream, she was up to something, and she had decided to trust me. She handed me a color coded folder, with colors representing different sections, and I think the sections were about spirituality, but it also felt a bit like a conspiracy, and perhaps going against the authorities who ran the library. I was glad Jin trusted me.

    As I was leaving Jin, another young woman joined us, and then she went with me, and tried to get me to go out with her to grab something to eat or drink to get to know me better. She explained that she was Jin's partner sexually. I explained that she had nothing to worry about, that Jin and I were just friends, and I was heterosexual. She said, she knew that, and was not worried, and anyway Jin and she had a relationship of trust. But she could tell Jin trusted me as a friend, and that was rare, so she wanted to get to know me.

    I explained I could not right now, because I had to find those applications that I had filled out much better, to show my new boss that I was competent after all. I had left them at a desk in the library, but the desk was not where it used to be any more. someone had moved it. I remember it was a small one person desk made out of light colored wood.

    Jin's partner left me as I continued my search for the desk. I think this search was still ongoing as I woke up. Although I may have found the desk at some point, but it was hard to tell whether it was the same desk or a different one like it, given that it was elsewhere and had someone else's stuff on and near it.

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    1. Superman1's Avatar
      Here's my view on this: Of course I can be wrong anywhere, as usual. Though I might sound sure, it is just what I see as likely.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      THINKING FOR YOURSELF
      Looks like in the start of your learning you wanted to apply, you were messy, til you realized after you should have been more careful because it mattered more to you.
      Your better self in charge of this later pulled yourself up about it, and you realized it was before you knew what you were doing and you were better at it now.
      Though you knew you didn't have to think or have an opinion beyond your task, you felt you were able to. To think for yourself I guess.

      THE SPIRITUAL LEARNING
      It seems being established in this learning or knowledge was mysterious to you.
      Jin represented the part in you that you needed to work with, which as yet was not anything in this area.
      You probably did not realize in the dream she was a real co-worker because you did not recognise this part of you fully yet.

      TRUSTING Your SPirit
      This part was up to something, and you trusted yourself coming from this part of you.
      Different sections of your Spirituality were encoded maybe in emotions or states of being (you may have seen my magic shrooms dream answer, which may correspond in colors).
      But it felt like it went against the supposed order, of how things should be, undermining the supposed authority in you. Sounding like your resistence against coming into your own power, and overthrowing the undesirable power.
      You were glad your exotic Self believed in you.

      A NEW YOU EMERGES
      As you left this Spiritual side, a new part of you had to form to follow it through, which wanted to get to know you better, as it does know you better. It was closely related to the spiritual from before, that would bridge that with you.
      But you were, at this point, just friends with that, and in a sense opposite, not the same, not as close as this other part of you which closely trusted your spirit. And that this spirit medium had nothing to worry about with you getting in the way or interfering I guess.
      And this medium you knew your Spirit trusted you as a friend, and that it's rare to be a friend of that area, so it wanted to get to know you.

      LOST WORK
      But you couldn't before applying better for this learning, as seen before, to be competent in your control of it.
      Maybe because it was too small, or just centred on you when Spirituality should not be, this place in you moved.
      Or maybe you just lost sight of it.

      So your Spirit self left and you sought for what you had attained so far. And maybe all you found was similar, or a facsimlie of it, but not the real right thing belonging to you.
      JoannaB likes this.
    2. JoannaB's Avatar
      One response to the "trusting your spirit" section: I am very much a rebel at heart. I question authority, and get all riled up over ideas which tell me what to do. Even if those ideas come from myself, or from God. I will challenge them and look for a different way of understanding, my own way I guess. I need to fight ideas before I integrate them, and so even if they are very good ideas, I am unlikely to accept them without a fight.