JonBingus

I was going on a solo trip to London. When I went, I got a facebook message from a friend's dad asking me that I pranked an old bar in London by painting it green. It is red.

I got to the bar, and spent the whole night trying to figure out escape routes and strategies, but never actually managed to start painting it even though I had the supplies in my hands.

I was streaming live on snapchat when I decided to do something wild. I climbed up on a shed roof next to me on the road and started running on top of a fence. Jumped down on the grass and realised that this neighbourhood had no fences dividing backyards. So I just started running full tilt. This beaing a dream, it mean that the wet grass might as well have been buttered up because I could not get any traction to run. I spent a few minutes getting agry at how wet the grass was but no reality check.

Met a friend of mine in a back yard, he said he was a pro at this. Then an angry guy came out but was ditracted by a giant snake that he had to kill in front of me. I got tired of this escapade and headed out.

I was on snapchat with a bunch of girls who were all drunk and sending racy snaps, while their boyfriends were in the other room sending me jokes snaps of them drinking.

I Spent time with Helen Owen, went to an indian film festival, participated in the world defence, and chilled with my friends at the T House. This is the second time when the T house had a sushi restaurant built in that would only function when the chefs came. Cool feature, and I have no idea when I first thought of it.

forgot

This was a strange one to say the least. To put it simply, I decided to have a reunion of every friend I'd ever had. I invited them all, hundreds of people from all parts of my life.

It did not go well. The first to show up was Andrea from grade 3. She started fucking with me for fun. Diana showed up, and was like the sad girl from inside out. then, demons. Cartoon characters. Everything and everyone was there. The madness crept in quickly.

Don't try this one again.

I was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast in my house while chilling with Galen. Joe was talking about some awesome personal stories, and suddenly I look over and he was just in my kitchen. We were actually at the kitchen of my work where we were bouncers together, and I needed to be shirtless. I asked him about this one story and he called it the valentines day story. I can't remember what it was but I remember thinking it was just mind blowingly funny.

As we went outside on the balcony, the guy from the story ran by on the sidewalk. I yelled out "That is the most B celebrity I've ever seen" and everyone laughed.

I weas up at the cottage with some girls, their mom, and a guy who was like Evan Cole. We caught him sleeping with the mom and a sister (who ws shewfelt) and then we went to party. The partying was fun, mostly outdoors on lawns.

Eventually I just transitioned to playing first person live overwatch for like an hour of my dream. That was very fun, especially sinc I haven't played in months.

I weas up at the cottage with some girls, their mom, and a guy who was like Evan Cole. We caught him sleeping with the mom and a sister (who ws shewfelt) and then we went to party. The partying was fun, mostly outdoors on lawns.

Eventually I just transitioned to playing first person live overwatch for like an hour of my dream. That was very fun, especially sinc I haven't played in months.

I don't know who that girl was but I haven't felt so comfortable and motivated during sex before.

Funny, she exists somewhere in my memory, wonder who she is.

I was up at the cottage for it all.

At first I was there with the families from new years, but then strange things started to happen. I went up to the big house and found Mati and Timay's mom. She was asking me weird questions about teenagers and I didn't really answer them. I found Brittany, and we started flirting a bit. I hung with Brit on the couch for a while, then went down to the water to a second cottage that was there for seome reason. All the families were there, and at one moment I looked out the window and saw whales breaking the surface of the ice on the lake. I yelled out, and everyone came to the window. I then realized they weren't whales but giant Walruses, and following behind them were giant black bears with the bill of a Platypus. I reached for my phone and recorded a snap story of it all. Behid the bears were so many animals, horses and cows and elephants and dogs.

We were all laughing with joy, and I ran out on the beach. I wanted to touch an elephant, but a big bull was protecting them and I got too close so he slammed me with a tusk and sent my flying back inside.

As the animals slowly walked into the distance, I said "This was the most entertaining day in a long time"

And then, I saw a rocket launch happen about 10 clicks out.

And as we all cheered again, we watched it slam into the sea.

Wow. An african migration and a rocket crash in the same 2 minutes. Cool dream. Never checked if I was dreaming though, too busy enjoying it

I was living inside an MMO. Everyone I knew was an npc or a player. We lived together in a decently large world, and would spend hours having fun. In the game, the processing speed meant that when we all got talking, we would quickly amp up the convo and speak for hours and hours real time in the blink of an eye. At the end of the convo it would summarize how much we talked about and how much time passed in the real world, usually minutes.

It began in some little private island instance, and I chilled in there for a while reading skill books and looking at the scenery, until I went to a cantina and had those crazy conversations. After that I went to a summer camp thing where we were playing hide and seek in this massive complex of docks and huts on the water, and a guy found me hiding under a bench with his flashlight. I jumped out and started strangling him because he said he does that all the time. I got spotted strangling, and everyone shunned me, so I left to a more primitive game where there were no people. It was basically mount and blade, and I chose to be a lone ninja, roving with a band of ninja warriors saving people.

Oh yeah, and the entire time I was playing as genji.

I lived through a man who had only regrets. All through his life he wondered what could have been, complained about what he had been dealt. Every day began and ended with "I've put up with this for X years, If I didn't have to X then surely Y".

One day, his wife let him go away on a trip. To find himself. To try and realize some of those alternate timelines. On the way out of the city, he found a beautiful woman and gave her a ride. She knew nothing of him, until he answered the phone while 12 clicks out from the city zone. It was his wife. She needed the bicycle that was being dragge dby his car. He said I love you and turned around, driving back to her. The beautiful girl had an air of dissapointment, of her own "what if's" being dashed with every mile they approached the bridge to the city.

As he went over the bridge he said "I've biked this thing 12 miles back to her. 2 Months ago, I was relaxing peacefully, not a worry in the world. Now, what has happened." Suddenly his child appeared. "You say that for everything dad. What has happened?"

The man realized.

So here I am, hanging out at the T house with my buddies, when suddenly there are soldiers in the woods. They have machine guns. Thomas gives the word, and we all start making gun noises and firing back. It's working, it's stopping them. We take most of them down this way. Soon a pair of girls in this crowd just walk in. They aren't playing along and dying when we shoot them. I ask them to leave, but the taller of the two just shows herself in further. She starts asking questions. She wants to buy the place. I tell her the price and say it's not for sale. Conflicting actions, I know.

Then, the allied forces of the Persian empire come up the hill. They charge upon us, and we fend them off with our Jewish forces, the Hebrew cavalry. The king retreats and we capture his army. Looking out over the hill, I decide I will conquer all the earth with this stolen army.

I return to the T House to relax. Sitting next to the front wall, the glass slid open and a beautiful cold ocean breeze coming through, I am in perfect peace. Absolute comfort.

My brother got a ferrari. Red 308 fully restored. And he was so dumb that he managed to put the winter tarping for it underneath the roof and windshield joint so it was stuck on. But it doesn't end here.

After berating him for a while I headed to the roundhouse. The company was having some massive orientation bash for hundreds of new staff. I was talking to a group of new staff about it, and we started walking toward the area where everyone was. There was a decently cute girl with us who quietly says to me "We could go there, or we could go to 237... my room". She points up ahead at a door in the roundhouse. I slowly slink in there and look around. The decor is so nice I'm just admiring the place for a good minute. I realize she never came in here and I'm already in my boxers. For some reason I go outside first, then put my clothes on on the sidewalk. She comes out of the door next door and laughs then motions me in. I go in, and it's a massive empty room. Her friend is in here. They're both in a t shirt and thongs. I start walking with them deeper in the room and they get all suggestive with me, but I'm nervous. 2 girls? How can I satisfy them both?

I look down the room and realize there are old trains in here just floating. The room is 0 g. I immediately start flying around the room just inches above the ground, weaving around trains. The friend loses interest and ditches, and eventually the girl does too, seeing I'm way too into this flying shit to take care of them. I wake up.

haha