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    1. WILD Day 3, No Dreams

      by , 06-30-2020 at 04:49 PM (Life's Recollections)
      As per the title, I had only a few tiny dream fragments but the way I slept (I just kept falling asleep over and over again each time I woke up) I basically forgot everything. I maybe should have tried a little harder to use the wakeups as DEILD (dream exit induced lucid dream) attempts, but I always forget to hold still when I wake up. I should probably start working on that too!

      I label this attempt 3, because even though I used to practice this years ago, I hadn't until recently and it feels like starting fresh.

      WILD (wake induced lucid dream) Attempt 3:

      During the day yesterday, I would say about 5 times overall (trying to make it more), I practiced the "Reverse Reality Checks" described in Sageous' WILD class. I tried to follow my curiosity naturally as to myself and interactions with the world, just investigating the self and trying to be genuinely self-aware, inside and out. It's a difficult thing to do "honestly" (when I investigate the self it often feels like nothing is there), but general mindfulness is something I have been working on a lot anyway, so it goes right along with recent practice. I have just tried to think about my place in the world mostly, both in the recent past and my predictions of what I will effect in the close future.

      Also, re: Sageous' recent advice, and my experiences last night, I made some changes to my WILD strategy. Namely, to set the dream up beforehand, choose a mantra related to getting into the dream, and to focus on visualizing the dream during the WILD attempt.

      I set my alarm for 5 AM (I fell asleep a little later today), and woke up, spent 15 minutes again on the edge of my bed figuring out where I wanted to go in my dream and thinking of a suitable mantra (I had thought it over the night before as well but hadn't set it in stone yet). There is a small little forested shore that I sometimes visualize myself in when performing meditation that is of a visual nature, that I find quite a relaxing and unthreatening place to be, so I thought it would be interesting to see it in a dream. I can visualize it rather well, so I figured it should be easy to visualize in a dream also. I chose "I'm coming home," as my temporary mantra, because this place I was trying to go is something of a mental home for me, and I found it a relaxing thing to repeat, as well as drawing me towards my intention.

      I laid down with my arms by my sides today (no crossing) and found this much more comfortable. I still had some trouble avoiding swallowing 2-3 times, but I find this does not wake me up immensely and is at most a few seconds of set-back when it happens, so while it would be ideal not to do it, it doesn't seem like the end of the world.

      At any rate, I laid there for about 20-30 minutes, repeating my mantra, and trying to visualize walking around this small shore and the forest that surrounds it, picking up sand, putting my hands on the trees, crouching in the grass, etc. I found that when I could carefully hold my focus on these activities, it definitely helped draw me towards sleep and away from my body. Oftentimes I would be imagining one of these activities, find myself a little emotionally lightened (or something, that's the best way I can put it), and with that came a lightening of consciousness, as if I was becoming more comfortable and thereby more ready for sleep.

      I also noticed something during this attempt: I know that I shouldn't be focusing on my body but it is sometimes hard to forget the difference between your visualized body messing around in your visualized intended dream, and your real body lying there and its sensations. However, I found that as I became more sleepy, I for some reason found myself 'staring' at my eyelids naturally. It's hard to explain, but I think as I became more sleepy, my mind drew back from my body more and more (it was becoming more numb anyway), and I found myself almost secluded in my head with my thoughts, until something roused me a little and I found myself in my whole body again. I experimented a little with intentionally 'staring at my eyelids' (again, so to speak, because there's nothing to look at) and found that it did seem to help me force this state a little more, the feeling of being just inside my head in the dark, rather than lying on a bed with my eyes closed. That may be something I'll experiment more with.

      Unfortunately most dips towards sleep were followed by things that when woke me back up, such as becoming distracted from the visualizations, or some HI that accidentally caught my attention a little too much (at one point I faintly saw a window seemingly peering out from a spaceship into space, near a moon of some sort, and even though I was attempting to ignore it, I almost couldn't help but look-- but as quickly as I looked, it vanished, leaving me more awake than before... darn HI).

      I eventually laid there for about 50 minutes before I realized that I was seeing something light grey, and at first thought perhaps my WILD attempt had brought me into sleep and I hadn't noticed somehow, but I couldn't figure out why I wasn't having a dream. Unfortunately, after about a minute or two of staring at this light grey, I had a realization, and opened one of my eyes-- it had simply become light outside as it was almost 6 AM! Perhaps I need to get a sleep mask or shift my sleep schedule back a little.

      At this point I basically abandoned the attempt, and decided to experiment a little as I fell asleep: I turned on my side away from the window and held my hand near my face to block the light (which is a more natural sleeping position for me than on my back, weirdly). I still felt pretty awake and aware, and not like I would fall asleep suddenly. I tried repeating my mantra and continuing the visualizations, and even experienced some more auditory HI. However I kept feeling the urge to move, and again just for the sake of experimentation (even though everyone says not to move, I know!) I decided to just move whenever I felt like moving to make myself more comfortable each time and see if I would fall asleep more quickly while I was still fairly aware.

      Of course as one could predict, my experiment ended in me eventually shifting into a position I was comfortable in, and immediately hard falling asleep for the next 4 hours, without even any memorable dreams, lol.

      Take-aways:
      • Visualization of the dream definitely helped somehow, I'm not sure how but there was a palpable sense of movement towards the dream.
      • I'm unsure whether the mantra ("I'm coming home") was better or worse-- much like "keep it tight," it occasionally seemed to be helping draw me towards something, but I don't know if it was the dream. Mostly it just felt like something to do while lying still, though this could just be the sign of a bad mantra.
      • There seems to be something to me about shifting the focus into the headspace and away from the body intentionally. In retrospect this seems obvious but I had not found a good way to do it, whereas by 'staring at my eyelids' I seemed to almost force this perspective a little bit.

      Updated 06-30-2020 at 05:17 PM by 24709

      Tags: wild attempt
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    2. The Bank Heist

      by , 03-02-2012 at 02:39 PM (Life's Recollections)
      Last night I had a dream that I was in a 20 person bank robbery for the final amount of hopefully $1,000,000. The reason for this was that we were trying to stabilize orphanages in the area. One of the characters, who reminded me of Drew Bailey, had taken on leadership for our team without much resistance. He was a strong guy. I'm a support, not a leader.

      We had already gotten control of the money and now had hostages. We were trying to find a way back outwards of the bank.

      He provided cases of weapons. I took a large one handed revolver, some sort of weird sci-fi automatic energy rifle (that did exactly nothing to everyone), and an RPG. As we went up the first stair case, there were some glass doors with police cars lined up outside. The leader-guy looked at me and said, “Are you ready for the first strike?”

      He threw open the door and I jumped back and shot the rocket launcher out, but it went over the cars and passed them, and he slammed the door and shook his head. I was going to have to do better than that if we wanted to win this.

      We headed to the right into a lobby, where we proceeded to look for places to settle in. A few times we pushed the police back and off the property with our various weapons. Among our team were some different people. A tenacious, ginger Irish girl with many freckles, that aforementioned leader-character, and even Brooks. There seemed to be someone of every nationality in the dream.

      As we pushed back the police, I began to run out of ammo and ran back to get some more from the cases and bring back to everybody. As I ran a girl called to me, “Hey!”

      I kept running and didn't take note of her other than the fact that she had blonde hair and blue eyes. After a bit I came back and continued into the fray.

      At one part the Irish girl took some of the people with her down some stairs and later came back up hoping to regroup in the main room. About this time, a super muscular guy came in through the front door. Many shots were fired and his body mass deflected them. Suddenly, I said aloud, “Let's confuse him!”

      I meant by scrambling about the room looking for hiding spots. Unfortunately, as soon as I did this, a blue glow began emanating from the man's head. He was reading our minds.

      I immediately said to the person beside me, “Let's think opposite things!”

      “Why?” he replied.

      I looked at him severely, “I don't know! It always works in comics!”

      We began to think about all kinds of things, but none of them the opposite. Small mammals and cakes. Watermelon. The man just stared at us and took in all that we thought of. At one point, the other guy thought of some 80's song that at one point said, “Lay down. . .” and I thought of that metal song, “Lay Down” that I heard in Guitar Hero III that one time.

      So I thought of that song, and before long our villain was singing loudly and listening to everything we thought of, and so I thought he should now go and give every person in the world a hand-shake. He promptly set out to doing this and began shaking the hands of the police in the crowd.

      We had a small break, and the civilians had now begun to form a wall. There was a wall of police who had now simply given up, waiting for the next big baddy, and then a wall of civilians in the grass. Our intention was to show the police that if they wanted to leave, they may. But they did not. They believed in our cause.

      Then there was us, behind the civilians.

      After a bit, a short German woman came riding up the hill, with slick black hair. She spoke with a heavy German accent and was riding along on a small motorized vehicle beside a big black box. We crouched and prepared, and took aim. She raised her hand and said, “Relax. It's one of your own skins.”

      She opened the box and inside lay the ginger-headed Irish girl. I remained skeptical at a distance, while the others crowded to say things to her. That same blonde haired girl looked at me from the box and turned to our leader and said, “Look at him. He doesn't even care. He's a traitor. If he hadn't run away earlier, this wouldn't have happened.”

      He looked back at her and replied, harshly, “He didn't run away. He ran to get ammo. Earlier, when you ran out of ammo and I tossed you a mag when that SWAT fella was right on top of you? That mag came from him. He resupplied us.”

      She looked at me, ever watchful and ever doubtful of my intentions. The German lady still watched with an maudlin stare. I wondered what she was up to, but the girl asked me to at least come say a few words to the Irish girl. So I walked over, looked at the German woman, and then put my hand down on the Irish girl's head from above, and then down to her shoulder. “You were brave. You did what you had to do, and you didn't give up. You died for this cause, and that death won't be pointless. We'll win this for yo-” and at this point, the ginger's green eyes began to flutter.

      I looked at the German lady, and she immediately pull out a knife and began swinging towards me, and I jumped away from the first one. As she came around for a second glance, the knife was shot out of her hand and her hand began to bleed. She screamed and looked at us, admitting loudly that she wasn't here to get us. She was a policewoman who had been set up to this. She didn't really believe we were evil. She was just doing her job.

      We pulled her from her vehicle and placed her among the civilians where she began to cry, quietly. One of the other civilians tried to talk to her. Once she sat down, the Irish girl sat up. She was completely naked at this point, for some reason. I was sitting on the curb and looked towards her to see this, then quickly away and started conversation with the person to my right, attempting to just pretend I hadn't just learned of the Irish girl's clear disclosure policy.

      After a bit of sitting around doing nothing, I found myself in a conversation with an African American man in his mid 30's, and he was with his small daughter of maybe 4. The man was sitting on the back of a truck, leaning against the door-flap, and playing with his daughter. She was on the ground below.

      He said, “Honey, what was that thing you always got at McDonalds you never wanted me to tell anyone?” and he smiled. I knew that he was just playing around with her to help relieve the fact that it was such a stressful time.

      She shook her head and smiled back?

      He continued, “What was it? Come on, let's tell the nice people! They'll think it's funny!”

      She giggled and still shook her head.

      About this time, another African American man in the background came by standing in a Volkswagen sort of van, and he had a woman with him. He was waving to us and the civilians and I got the impression he was some big celebrity. He had this huge white grin and these huge white sunglasses. I figured he might just be passing by to try and cool tensions. He was much loved, so maybe we would all calm if we saw someone we trusted.

      As he passed, time began to slow down. I saw it coming and didn't have time to react. He reached below him and pulled out a pistol, and when he raised up, shot the father playing with his daughter directly in the back. Blood flew out and the daughter screamed, and I grabbed her and placed her back a bit and went over to help the father. I tried to talk to him, but he was gone before I got there. I figured maybe the shot went through something pretty important, but I'm no medical expert.

      I ran over and grabbed the cart that the before unconscious Irish girl was in and pushed it towards the van that had now stopped. I pushed it while leaning on it with my elbow and occasionally raised up for a few shots and hid back down. The man now pulled out a machine gun and was mowing down my cart, while I hid behind it and pushed towards him.

      As I got close to the cart, I dropped to the ground and crawled around to the side door. I shoved it open and jumped in, then went through another door towards the front. Directly after, the girl who was present raised a gun and started to shoot back, and I immediately shot her between the eyes and killed her. She slumped over into the celebrity man's arms. He looked at me daftly. “Did you just shoot her?” he asked.

      “Yes.”

      “She was a hostage!”

      I cringed even though I had immediate aim on the man.

      “Now that's funny.” he said, with a golden tooth showing through in his smile.

      He raised up and smacked my pistol to the side and I backed through the door as a shot was fired through it. I went to the edge and hung out the side of the van by an arm as shots came through, then reached back in and fired back a few rounds.

      That's when I woke up. And it was getting so interesting, too!
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    3. My next lucid dream

      by , 01-12-2012 at 02:18 PM (Life's Recollections)
      I once again did a WILD this morning.

      As I went through sleep paralysis it was like I fell to the ground, and stared at the floor. I did my nose plug and breathed, and I hopped up to my feet. This made me decide that I was lucid dreaming.

      My first thought was that I wanted to summon Applejack. I picked her because thinking that it would be interesting to meet her got me lucid. I gathered my courage and rubbed my hands together. I closed my eyes and thought that she would be there when I opened them. She wasn't, so I stuck my arms out and tried to summon her that way. This didn't work either, so I decided to simply leave. I went outside my room.

      I walked through the kitchen and opened the sliding glass door. Everything outside was positively Asian historical art. There were pink petals floating through the air under my clothes-line, and to left all the trees were very Asian looking as well, things like Japanese maples.

      I turned to my fence and gave a swift leap from the porch over it, something impossible in real life. I repeated once more, "I am dreaming!" I was trying to instill this fact in my brain as hard as possible and keep myself as conscious as I could.

      At this point I just wanted to explore. Suddenly, I turned to the right and this dog flew from the grass through the air, back through the woods. I realized there was an intense wind that didn't effect me when I was on the ground. I jumped and put my arms out and it carried me back, and then I jumped again and the same thing happened. Then I turned and ran with it and jumped in an attempt to fly. Sadly nothing, I fell back to my feet.

      I heard a voice calling me. For some reason I called him, "Big Brother". It just came out of my mouth. I slowly span once because I heard that doing so slowly was a good way to stabilize.

      I asked "Big Brother" if I could fly. He obliged. I flew a bit and asked him if I could control it, and he said, "No. But I need you to help me."

      As he pulled me through the air, I saw his monstrous glowing form towering over the woods. I shouted, "Hey! Screw you, I will be able to control it one day!" I was implying that since I was lucid dreaming one day I would realize my ability to do stuff like this.

      He helped me by giving me instructions as if I were playing an RTS game with him and other giants, who now looked somewhat small to me. I was able to select him by drawing a square about him and his friends and such. I ordered them to do things. Eventually I came back down to ground level and he was the same size as me. Him and all his friends were holding what were like empty cattle-tagging guns. They simply clamped on and didn't let go until you pulled them off.

      I said, "We need to hurry. I need to get up and go to school!"

      He yelled, "Oh! You need to get up!"

      He started walking towards me with the cattle-gun like thing and I said, "What are you doing?"

      He said, "You said you have to get up..."

      As he neared me I smacked it from his hands and went around him. I walked up the hill to my porch. I turned and grabbed a tagger thing from one of his buddies and threw it at him. He threw one at me. They both stuck. He laughed and pulled his from himself, and I pulled mine from myself. Somehow, I felt some indescribable anger towards this man. He had told me I wouldn't be able to do what I wanted in my lucid dreams. He had assaulted me, whether he was playing or not. I marched over to him and drew my fist back. As I went to throw the first punch, I woke up in my bed and did my reality check. He got away... this time.
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    4. A GREAT lucid dream.

      by , 01-05-2012 at 11:01 AM (Life's Recollections)
      I woke up to the sound of my message on my iPod asking me if anything seemed weird. I noted that this meant I was dreaming, but more I noted that this meant I was currently awake. I immediately began to fall back asleep. So I closed my eyes and imagined a beach. Slowly I came to that beach. But slowly.

      I heard the shores, and then it all faded. I opened my eyes to my bed. I grabbed my nostrils. I could still breathe. I was in a lucid dream.

      I immediately jumped from the bed. I began gasping for air in the excitement that I was lucid dreaming and had not yet woken up. I immediately, however, calmed myself down because I knew that if I was not awake yet, I would be soon if I could not calm down.

      I knew that I wanted to go do everything crazy and dream-like that I could. I ran to my door which inexplicably had a locker on it, and grabbed the lock and imagined myself ripping it off into the floor. This did not work and it simply came out and I opened the door. I walked quickly through the kitchen into the den, and then back into the kitchen. I saw some apples, and I started trying to summon an apple. I decided this would not work either, and so I simply stopped. I had to try as many things as I could.

      I looked at my door.

      "How about a dream where I go outside?" I said aloud.

      I yanked the door open and ran outside, then I thought, "I need to try flying so I can mark it off of my goals."

      I began jumping. I jumped once at normal height. Again at 6 feet. Once more at 10. 12. 16. 20.

      At about 22 feet, I threw my arms outward and turned my body down. I was able to only glide back to my feet. This didn't change my mind. I am tenacious.

      Suddenly I could hear my friend's voice in my head, telling me to be careful. That I would hurt myself in real life if I tried to hard. I dismissed this as being untrue and continued to do what I wanted.

      I told him that I could probably fly if I ran at super speed to a take off! So I began running down my very long drive-way as quickly as possible. Taking long bounds that were about 30 feet apart from each other. As I got to the end, I stopped because I realized I just didn't have enough speed. I turned around and began jumping until I was back at about 20 feet high.

      I was just jumping up and down, and enjoying it, when a car came down the driveway. I was going to try and jump over it as it went down the drive-way, but as they got to me it stopped. My brother and Dad got out of the car, and my brother just said, "Jerk!"

      My assumption was that he had been scared by me and thought that I was someone else. This, however, snapped me back into life. I awoke and still had my eyes closed. My heart was racing, and I was sweating. My first lucid dream. I plugged my nose and tried to breathe. I couldn't. I gathered my thoughts.

      They were magnificent.
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    5. A Car Robbery--- Stopped.

      by , 12-23-2011 at 03:11 PM (Life's Recollections)
      Lucidity <0-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10>
      Horrid Nightmare <10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10> Lovely Sweet Dream

      [[Double brackets means that a part of the dream is cloudy, and I cannot remember it well.]]

      I was in a car with my mother, in the passenger seat, visiting a library with a friend of mine in the back. Now, as my mother got out of the car, she said to me, aloud, "Watch out for those guys getting out."

      I looked over to witness two fairly hefty biker guys, getting out of the car next to us. I voice back, "They're probably just going to the library."

      My mother's distrust is usually ill-placed and I feel bad for the people she claims are terrible when they're just trying to do something normal.

      However this time, her trust was not displaced! As she entered into the library, I locked my door. The two hefty biker type fellows (Think fat GTA IV bikers) came over and began to tug on the door-handles. They did not get mine open, but one did proceed to open the driver's side and jump in the car, starting it, as the keys were left in place.

      As we drove down the road, my first instinct is to punch the man in the face, in an attempt to... really just physically harm him. I immediately attempt to punch him, but when I punch in a dream, it's like punching through water. My hand moves incredibly slowly and against great force.

      So, with that failing, I remind myself that I cannot punch in my dreams. This does not make me lucid, but I do consciously recognize that I will not be able to punch.

      I immediately begin to grab at the steering wheel. Currently the car is barreling out of the alley-way and onto a street. I immediately act on instinct. I put my arm through the steering wheel and squeeze my inner arm tight, and force it upwards with my other arm. We are now barreling to the opposite side of the road.

      We hit another car, albeit not hard enough to kill anyone, just bang us up a bit. The man immediately jumps out and tries to bail but some policemen stop him and arrest him. Thankfully they only perform a few tests on me and accept that I'm not under the influence and my story is true. Not that that would necessarily happen in real life.

      I immediately begin heading back to the library with my friend from the backseat (Remember him?) and he hands me two Twinkies. I eat one of them and we reach a part of the wall where we need to climb about 20 feet up to get over it. I set the remaining Twinkie down and it falls to the ground. I just shrug that off. I climb the wall, get to the top, and turn back to help my friend climb it.

      We then head back to the library, where I wake up!
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    6. What?

      by , 07-07-2011 at 12:03 PM (Life's Recollections)
      Last night I had substantially less success with the technique I used, as this morning I couldn't fall back asleep, and I also couldn't recall a single dream I had, not even a fragment. Not the worst thing that's ever happened to me or anything, but it's disappointing.
      Tags: dreamless, tired
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