nightmare

First night I just had dreams that Jamie found a girlfriend. I always knew she liked both, not going to judge.I have some borderline traits myself, being unsure of your sexuality is a given. I did find these dreams a little distressing. In these dreams it seems I am watching them from a distance, and not a participant.

Next night.

another flash of Jamie being with a girl, but this time I can see them having sex... Honestly I don't know why I dream these things and sometimes loathe the connection. (When she moved in 2011, I first had a dream she was sleeping with some guy but wasn't feeling it. Then I dreamed she was sleeping with a woman, a few days later she switched her orientation status on FB. You gotta realize I'm not trying to spy, these things just come to me and sometimes I wish they wouldn't)

Captured

Just a flash of me and Jamie in a western setting. Some big guy in a cowboy hat captured us and we are ties and gagged by a fence. Jamie looks my way in distress.

Last night

Looking

I was in a crowd at night time and noticed Jamie in the crowd looking at me.

Silence

I get a job at a newly opened seafood restaurant. I'm in orientation with a group of people. Jamie is in the group, as well as some other pretty girl with crazy braids. Jamie doesn't look at me at all, but keeps lingering by. I'm drinking a soda pop from a glass bottle. The top somehow breaks. I go to the sink area to clean it up. Jamie follows me, or is doing something in the same area. She's really silent, but lingering by. I find the silence really uncomfortable as I try to clean up the glass.

No way

I'm walking outside early morning. I'm upset. In my dream memories Jamie had told me that she didn't want to see me anymore because I was too, "Emotionally immature."

I go by a mcdonald's but it's not open in the plaza. I see my brother wandering into Tim Horton's. and decide to follow him in.

First of all, I'm just going to assume that something is wrong in the dreams. (She's been attacked by dream demons constantly especially since "The Boyfriend." dream). Second. I admit: I have severe emotional problems, they have gotten a lot better since older. I was mentally and emotionally abused and abandoned by my dad specifically. The effects of that abuse have stuck with me my entire life. I know Jamie had similar problems, that she briefly told me about herself. So, I always saw that as an opportunity to relate to one another and be there for one another. Things DO get easier with age. and I've been doing my best to work on that. I'm scared too, if Jamie were to come into my life again. There is a lot of emotional trauma around one another, and how we handled things in the past to work through. It wouldn't be easy, it might be hard. We are going to make mistakes. But I want to do it, and I want to become better and be better this time.

Cold has finally started to go away, Yay!

The other night. Asked for Raven's help again to break Jamie out of the jail thingy I dreamed about.

Shove

I'm walking in a crowded city I'm crossing a street. At the corner there is a tall display, displaying some advertisements and media. Someone nudges or shoves shoulder and keeps on walking. I see it's the back of Jamie walking away she kind of looked back at me for a second and kept walking. Well that was rude! Reminds me of Highschool, when people didn't like you, They'd "accidentally" shoulder shove you from behind.

Demon


Me and 3 other people are chasing a demon at night. It's short, pale, and has gremlin ears. We corner it in a car wrecker place. It vanishes and I see it's latent image down various rows. "It's slowing time." I tell everyone, "It's playing out every possible scenario we can throw at it." My memory fades after.

Speechless

I'm walking outside a bar in a small town. Street reminds me of the Didsbury bar stretch with two bars on opposite sides. I'm on the JD's side Jamie is standing outside by the door, and walking past nervously. Some other girl standing outside starts talking trash to me. I can't remember what she says. Jamie grabs me and pulls me close and tells the girl. "Robert is the sweetest, most patient and caring man I've ever known." the shock of hearing this wakes me up. If Jamie ever gave me a compliment like that IRL... I would die!

Last night

big house

False awakening, I'm in a large house and have to pee. There are various rooms and people all over. I can't find a bathroom so I go downstairs. I wake up for real of course.

bed

I'm sleeping in the same bed as Jamie, she is sitting up and I am lying down. She says to me, "Slip it on." Okay. Isn't it more like ,"Roll it on."? I woke up there.

Jamie's question

I see Jamie in the familiar black space, she is staring seriously at me and asks, "Are you having a relationship with me in your head?"

I don't even begin to know how to answer that. but I will try as truthfully as I can. If she means by in my head as in dreams? Thats already been stated. If she means by talking to a voice in my head that sounds like Jamie. Short answer: For the past two months or so, Yes. That's what her voice in my head has stated. I'll ask her voice, "But this is crazy! If I see and talk to Jamie IRL, am I to talk about this?" To which she will answer, "We are to discuss everything.". This is why i'd really like Jamie to talk to me, to get clarification. If I should be seeing a psychiatrist, I'd really like to know. I'd like to get past this stuff, with or without her. Do I believe it's really Jamie? I don't know. I've been stuck with this voice for the past several years. I've tried to pray it away so many times among other things. After a certain amount of time, It's now just a thing that is a part of my current existence that I live with. If one is to do a google search on: Hearing my twin flame's voice in my head. It will lead you to loads of Quora articles where people do indeed experience this phenomena. some of them confirming with their partners that: Yes both of them will experience something like a telepathic conversation in one another's heads. Now, what I want to know is why is Jamie asking this? One possibility is that: She reads my dreams journal and reads dream her is talking and acting like we are in a relationship, she's also read that I hear a voice like her in her head, She puts two and two together and decides to use dreams to ask me this question. or, She's asking because She experiences it too. So I could equally ask her the same question. In any case I would like this to be resolved soon because this is becoming a complicated mess. I will still try to be patient tho.

Some people have messaged me and/or left comments asking "Who is Jamie?" I understand my journal entries must seem like the ravings of a madman, I can assure you, I consider it a possibility every single day. Jamie is someone I use to work with in 2011, We were friends (the vocal pretext we had both agreed upon- the subtext however... slightly different story). Long complicated story I'm not going into. to the layman, (Someone who is completely atheist and is a scoffer at anything spiritual, or having anything like a god in the universe, supernatural, paranormal. etc) I suffer from a bizarre form of Limerence, and "Spiritual psychosis", and Jamie is the Idealized object of this. In more spiritual terms it is also known as "Twin Flame," or "Alien Love bite", Neither term I agree with, however I have read experiences from many people that I can relate to ( I watched a long youtube of a panel of people from the ALB community and listened to a couple explain how they were having mutual or shared dreams). Scoffers will scoff, fine. I define it simply as: Seemingly paranormal facilitation and interference in human relationships. There's also a psychosis in the mix as well, BPD, Both of us have levels of such a disorder. In my case I love bomb someone who shows interest in me and when I feel they are going to abandon me, I promptly dump them or cut them out of my life, and then horrifyingly try to "Win them back,". I was not even aware of this "Cycle," until I met Jamie and analyzed our friendship years later, and reading what BPD is.

Years after, the "Discarding" of one another. I began experiencing paranormal events all over again. Seeing annoying "Angel signs," regarding her. As well as a sudden influx of dreams about her. I have a long history on this forum being able to share dreams with people. And i Still experience this to this day, the sharing of dreams. I began to wonder if it was a possibility, that we were somehow reaching one another in dreams. Such phenomena increased with such intensity (and things jamie was doing and saying in dreams) It became such a great concern to me that I was compelled to send her a handful of messages over a period of a few months. I told her from as many angles as I could what stuff I was experiencing. Just being open and relaying messages that I had learned. After the first message, In the dreams of her, she began to first act repulsed by me in the dreams and then began to be more okay with it. And after my last long explanatory message the dream her seemed fine. I did relay in my message that this dream journal exists, and that she can read it. These dream journals have a subscribe button, (I don't get notified of subscribers) and such people get an email every time I post an entry. It's likely I gave her a link to my dream journal when we were friends in 2011, and she has been subscribed since then. Or a few years ago she did. I'm not going to speculate. But it definitely seems like she reads my dream journal and then in later dreams she will react to what I dreamed about. She has never messaged me back however, But did mark my message as, "Read." sometimes she would leave a message, "Unread" So I take it as a sign of minimal respect for my efforts. In the end she has a disorder, where various people are discarded, and most of those people will never be in touch again. so no, I am not expecting a message back, or for her to be friends again. We both have some severe emotional problems that would probably end in complete disaster, or worse, all over again, if not handled EXTREMELY carefully.

Unfortunately, I have had to move back to the area where I met her. and it's possible I may have run into her when I first arrived here, at a convenience store. The person, had to turn around and leave the store, after their purchase and I was standing in. She didn't look me in the eye at all, seemed slightly aware that it was me. but looked really pissed or at least annoyed that I was there. I was not surprised at this reaction at all, I even expected it, given what I know about the disorder. and then a few times over a few months. she had driven by me at least once or twice and was stealing glances at me. No, I don't imagine she is stalking me. This IS a series of small towns where you are bound to run into anyone you ever known in this area at any given day.

This journal then is for Jamie to read as she sees fit. As long as I dream about her, I will keep posting entries.

Dreams

1. Jamie, is tied to a wall in a hotel room... she is naked. and some guy is standing near her. He had glasses, hair poorly bleached with brown hair at the part.

that's all I remember. I wake up and The voice says,, "Why was I naked?"

2. I dream my dog is getting really angry at me because I am playing with a cat. His mouth looked really strange and scary.

3. I was in bed with someone, But it was this other girl, from Wal-mart. She is pregnant I start kissing her and she kisses me back. A strange thought of doubt runs through my head.

I wake up. and fall back asleep.

Note: it seems the past few weeks, I have been unable to meet Jamie in the dreams lately just have dreams about her. We both seem to have been dreaming about people who are "Distractions". The goal: to prevent us dreaming the same dream. I will pray and/or meditate on this.

Let's start with... Jamie Dreams! There have been a few.

1st: Vague dream where we might have been kissing or something.
2nd dream: I wasn't lucid but understood the dream world so to speak. I was sitting in a living room with people. My dead cousin Kiah since 2021, popped up and was like, "hey, hello..." etc. And I asked her, "Can you do something for me? I need you to check someone name Jamie for me. She was supposed to show today but I can't find her." I specifically remember saying to Kiah to, "Just go through my memories, You'll find her." Kiah pulled a curtain made of nothing out of nowhere and wrapped herself in it making her disappear.
Dream skips to where Kiah comes back and says that she had seen Jamie bragging someone that she had a "dream of only," boyfriend. (referring to me, also hinting that Jamie doesn't actually plan to talk to me in person ever. Which is pretty bad in my view, how about I just don't post dreams anymore about this subject. Me, I want a future without this insanity. I'm pretty sure Jamie can find loads of simps to stroke her ego because they think they have a chance. I'm not one of them. seriously.)

I ask Kiah to show me. We teleport to some weird wannabe Harry Potter dream world. There's an english school. We go in. I'm in a role I think I've played before in this scenario. I'm in a teachers or principals office. 2 people are talking about a conspiracy or something. I just lose interest as Jamie's not around.

This morning: Jamie at a funeral being sad, Second funeral dream about Jamie hm...

Too many other dreams to really write down. Scariest one being I kept going into an elevator that would take me to a dark hallway where people were sleeping. A vampire would come by and kill them. not in the typical vampire way... In a way that's impossible do describe, you'd only have to dream it. (Raven if you still read these, try dream viewing this one. might be an exciting dream supernatural scenario that you're recently fond of) The guy would like teleport inside their skin and/or behind them, causing them to choke to death on a most horrific way. The guy seemed unaware of me. I saw this happen a couple times. I was also semi lucid at times.

Driving dreams... almost crashing a LOT. Driving up and down impossible hills.

One dream I had a really angry roommate or something. Walk on eggshells kind of guy.

WTF

Had a dream where Jesus was telling me Jamie is going to die soon. His exact words. Ummm... Not sure if i believe it. (I can't vouch for my dreams being 100% prophetic, just sometimes strange real life coincidences with them). Since i haven't heard from her in so long, and we don't have any mutual friends, if such an event took place I would likely never know of it. It's already like she died in a way to me, I suppose... It seems like she wouldn't lift a finger to reach out even in the event of imminent death anyway. So, besides having and posting these dreams (A well that has already pretty much dried up.) there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Visit from beyond

My Cousin Kiah, Who had a seizure and drowned not 10 feet away from where I was sleeping, while she was detoxing from fentanyl addiction. Saw me in a dream in some house and run up to me, started talking to me. I started freaking out and screaming in fear as she's supposed to be dead. She looked really offended by that. Wow.


Crazy flashes

(note this may or may not be related to the Jesus prophecy dream) I was a girl or woman. It was really dark, I was with someone who was also injured, We are freezing to death maybe outside or in a place with no heating. Something burns out. I say, or the other woman says, "OH NO!!! IT's Burned out!!!." we both start sobbing because it means death for us. Flashes forward we are both trying to run somewhere to safety but we are fading fast.

Lucid with Jamie but not sure.

I was walking outside of my house? Became lucid randomly. It was night out. I realized I wanted to find Jamie. I had passed a car previously. I turned around to find it but it was gone. I went to the driveway a bit past where the car was parked. A Really old red VW Beetle was parked there (Days later in waking life on the face book swap/n/buy for my are an old red VW beetle was listed. precog dream???). I checked my pocket and had a key. The key looked like an old house key. I acted as if it as the car key. I sat down in the car found a place for the key to turn and went through the motions of starting the car and it worked. I drove downtown in a generic dream city that was like calgary or parts of Toronto. I started saying Jamie's full name out loud.

Came to a basket ball court. Saw a Woman standing there with pink dyed hair and brown eyes. Didn't quite look like Jamie but the feeling was that it was her. I pulled up and said Hop in. Jamie looked at me with recognition, and got in the car. Initiated a casual greeting kiss. She acted natural with it. i was very lucid and started with questions. I asked, "Do you read my dreams?" She said "no." and i was shocked at the answer. But it wasn't her anymore. I was talking to a little yappy dog. and it was speaking a different language. I kept asking the same question. It said something like :Yes, and then : no. i was pretty flustered and woke up.


Putin

Yes, because of the war I started having these dreams while falling asleep. First is a black area and I just see Putin's face. He is angry and says, "I will push with this war into World war 3." Then i can see an explosion reflected in his eyes and then his face.

Second dream he had barbed wire around his neck and is choking. From sanctions no doubt?

Frost Troll

Was in some room with a bunch of people. Someone ran into the room screaming about a Troll in the building. I ran out into some basement area. There was a brown haired girl with me, maybe Jamie. i had false memories of dealing with this troll before. We turned a corner and it was right in front of us. It swung at us with a huge hand with claws. It missed. I ran around the corner with the girl and she was following me. I said The Troll is really dumb and any easy hiding place will do. We found a room with a cabinet we could his beside. We hid there and the troll walked past the room and we were safe.

All the dreams this week weren't good.

Jamie 1

Jamie seemed mad at me. Telling me she's never going to talk to me again... I think I always knew that deep down. But one can hope.

Jamie 2

Some nights later Dreamed I saw her at a bar but she was avoiding me.

Map

I'm looking at map of where I live. There's a road east and west. South is Lethbridge. Under my town is shaded dark red. above the down is a lighter red. There are words describing each shaded region but I forget what. There is an icon on the east end of town it is a face of a native american with a red bandana. He looks sinister and the dream implies he's cursed this region. (IWL, It has been snowy and icy and I have called in at work too much not wanting to drive these roads. This dream was a day before the snowfall, Felt that the drean predicted this???)

Don't drive

One one of the days I was going to go to work (but called in anyway) I had a series of dreams of dogs biting me and people fighting me.

Dream 1

I was in my house and a bunch of dogs that looked like my dog were trying to bite me. I had a razor and cut on of the dogs legs. It yelped and started bleeding everywhere on it's hind leg. Asuka and maybe data were there I asked them for a rage and something to tie it with to stop the bleeding.

Dream 2

Someone was on the front end of my house with a gun. I was in a garage behind a white van. I got a peek at the intruder and aimed my pistol or something at him. I shot him and it hit.

Dream 3

I was fighting someone on stairs. It was Gary, a friend from childhood who ignores me now. I Was hitting him with some pole and he stopped trying to fight me after he fell down the stairs. I asked, "Are you done?" He said, "Yes." I asked him "Why don't you talk to us anymore?" He looked shocked. I said, "I don't even do drugs or drink hardly at all." And he still looked shocked and seemed to be considering what I was saying. Then I woke up.
After I woke up I found that the rods that were clear before were snowy and icy again...

Dark Hogwarts

I was getting off the Hogwarts express with a bunch of children in cloaks. I was young like them. Everything was so dark even with the lights, it was nightime nd I couldn't see much. I saw the Cone shapes of the tops of the Hogwarts towers as I was walking along but coult still barely see them.

Jamie

Just a dream that she was in some city driving around and looking for me. I live in picture butte now, so if she was really looking for me in my previous city she wouldn't find me.

Victoria

Difficult dream to recall. I was dreaming she was outside her apartment taking selfies. But she mood of the dream was sick, like she was sickly and/or dying.

*Not a dream* I woke up from that dream last Saturday to a message from Victoria ( an old co worker who I was close friends with). she was telling me she came down with Covid. I asked how severe? and she didn't respond. A few days later just before a night shift I read on Facebook she had just died. She was 36... my age, with underlying health problems. Was this dream prescient?

Various other dreams i can't recall. One involded my car getting stolen. Driving around with my uncle, and dreaming about the Trinity Killer from Dexter season 4.

Jamie

Jamie seemed upset about something. that's all I can recall. Miss the longer dreams about her...


Death

A long dream but I only remember sectioned. An old co worker named K and I were in a town that looked like chilliwack. He was coercing me to help him kill people. We had to cut people up into tiny piece so we would stash them in baggies and them bury them in a park. I didn't enjoy this. I was terrified of doing this and wanted to get away from him. Later I was by chilliwack mountain and saw a youtuber moe sargi who i never watch anymore. I kept asking him about his videos and he told me they are all fake... I already knew that.


Some other dream i recall about Saad doing drywall like my dad. He seemed pissed at me.

House.

Me and Jamie are attacked by something outside my inner world house. I remember sharp tendrils going into my abdomen while me and her are laying on the ground.

aunt

A dream my aunt was mad at me about something. I kept trying to fix what she was mad about but she got meaner..

Big giant house

I was in something like mansion. In something like a hallway, I stepped into a bedroom that had a lot of things in it. There was a bed and things all over the place. A keyboard started playing by itself, in just a couple of notes for a few seconds. It did this by itself. I went out of the room and found a long winding staircase. On the main level i walked through a few giant living rooms with old architecture. I found another staircase. But right beside the stairs a panel in the wall was missing. i saw my childhood friend Gary , his brother and a few other people sitting on a couch. I went down a few more steps into the room. Gary seemed annoyed that I was there but some older guy was telling me about the house and that it was haunted.

I said, "Yeah the keyboard upstairs plays by itself." He agreed with me. Several of us left the room. I went back up to the main level. I saw a winding staircase leading upstairs and I was trying to figure out the actual layout of the place. I found yet another large living room this time with 3 pianos. I was going to play one of them when i woke up.

House party.

I was hearing the Dark Tower audio throughout this dream. I'm on Wolves now, Now narrated by some old guy who butchers songs... I was in a living room with Manvi from work. I think she said she was having guests over. Something was spilled all over her table which was in front of a large TV. We both tried desperately to clean it up. After it was clean i sat beside her on the couch to watch TV. i think she was a little nervous because it was me and her. As if the dream responded to her nervousness suddenly her guests were there. There was a guy who was hearing the audiobook audio and asked if it was the Dark Tower. I said yes, and was going to have a conversation with him until i woke up.


Lucid

I was trapped in a house with some psycho guy. He had me in some traps like the movie SAW. He had a wife that told me I was a better fuck than her husband.. and i also have false memories of that act... Anyway they leave the room. I become lucid when i float up out of the traps. I fly up and intend a hole in the floor. I lower into another room. and for a while, I keep floating through more holes in more rooms. Kind of like those lucids where you are in a house and you keep finding hidden rooms and basements inside more rooms and basements and it an go on a long as the lucid. Eventually i wanted outside. I wanted to look for Jamie. I saw a house and went inside. My memory got really foggy and sped up. I found jamie, or a DC that looked like her and i remember feeling the desire to sleep with her. Not sure if we did.

either than that no jamie dreams. not sure if the lucid was her. I hope i get Jamie dreams regularly Like I use to.

Jamie

She showed up once. Found myself on a couch with her and she wasn't looking at me or talking to me. She eventually got and left without saying a word. Yeah, our dream friendship has gone pretty downhill over the last few months . I have pretty much given up hope I'll ever hear from her again. Sounds like whatever hope was left in her is pretty much gone also. I feel it.

Nightmare

Walked into my living room and saw my dogs head on the ground with his face twitching. I was shocked at that site and ran into my bedroom and my dog's severed head was there also. This time as well as twitching there was blood all over the floor. I went into the next room and asked my aunt what happened to my dog. She had a crazy laugh and said, "Well, He just looked so depressed I just decided to cut off his head! HAHAHA."

Car Crash.

Was walking around with riya from work outside ina field. We somehow ooka ride from someone. At a strange turnpike He lost control and the van slid into a super deep ditch. We hung on the edge for a second, and i said, "That's far down we're going to die." The driver said, "No we won't."

We fell in and no one was hurt. I got out of the van and riya followed me. I realized i left my gloves in the vand and went back for them. Back at the van a board in the van was pushing upward. I lifted the board up and a small dog got out. I found gloves that weren't mine and ruffled through things until I found the right kind. Riya was behind me talking. We left the scene and wound up back in the same field.

In the field I passed a blond woman with poofy hair. But she had really weird colours to her...

Jamie dreams

Big contrast in Jamie dreams. In the first one all I remember is crying about Jamie, like she had just done something horrible to me in the dream. The next part I am talking to Data about it. He is being very stern with me, not sure about what, but he implies that I am doing something which is greatly pissing her off.. I have no idea what i could be doing that would piss her off. Maybe I do, but that implies (assuming she has some sort of uncontrollable psychic link to me.) she can sense vividly what I do in my day to day life even though we have not spoken in some years <--- I am having a very difficult time believing that at all. Since she doesn't talk to me personally, We have no real friendship or relationship, therefore She has no say in what i do or not do in my spare time. and I did message her a year ago asking about these dreams and if there was a connection. She has not written back so i have no confirmation of anything and believe well... nothing. I do however sense a change in certain desires in me, almost like a feeling like she has been praying for me?!?!?!? If so, please continue.

Next dream I run into her on a street and she is with a group of friends. This dream is 2 days later and she is all happy to see me like nothing bad had previously happened. This could be just me remembering how she really was sometimes...

Last is an audio only dream. she is talking into my ear and asking if we are to get married. Her tone is very loving. again. i still have no idea if these dreams are me going insane or if it is in fact her. Again my answer is: If I have to. And my answer also is: Not going to happen if she never actually talks to me.

Also had some annoying reminders of jamie. Mainly her birthday, these are not dreams. Years ago bad room mates stole basically everything I own ( including my entire set of anime DVD's "Maison Ikkoku." A series i watched years ago and said to myself If a woman can sit through this entire series with me and watch it I would marry her. So.. it's a rare series so i looked on ebay... and found that japan has released and all region blue ray, for a hefty amount. the delivery date was of course her birthday. I was almost tempted to buy it. But my budget has been horrible lately. Second reminder is: Season 13 of fortnite has been delayed yet again... Until her birthday: Damn you fortnite!!! I still play once a week, can barely stand it.

Crazy

I was in a highschool cafeteria, and I pulled out my mcdonald's coffee cards, ( i have currently around 30 free coffees.). And Jessica, from 13 reasons why was there and started flipping out at me. She thought me pulling out the cards was somehow racist. I was really confused. And really I've been watching star trek reruns and even dug into the TOS (60s hippies in space) for the first time. and this is what I dream about? come on!!!

also varioud flying dreams that don't make me lucid.

Lucid but too short

It seems like I am walking through a park late at night in calgary. Something like Proncess island park because I am coming from a bridge. I get a sense that I'm dreaming almost instantly. Because it is night out, a blackness fills my field of vision. I begin touching the ground where some sand is immediately to try and incorporate my senses into the dream. It stabalizes momentarily but then I remember an old DV post, from someone who once prolonged a dream by trying to eat a tree. becuase that incorporates many physical sensastions such as touch, taste, smell, texture etc. I then remember i had passed a tree by the bridge earlier. I seemilngly teleport there and try to eat it but fade out before anything happens. Damn...

Hate this dream

This dream involved Jamie but she wasn't necessarily in it.. Started I was getting a visit from my brother and we were walking around houses or open markets or something. He's visiting in real life since i can't make my trip to the USA because of travel restrictions due to the pandemic... In the dream I ask if he's watched Star Trek Picard yet? He says no. I tell him I'll get yet another month of Crave so we can watch it while he visits. He says okay but he is grossed out by something and leaves.

It appears I am surrounded by Gay people having orgies... umm okay. everything is very graphic. It's also on computer monitors throughout the street or houses I am in. It makes sense as I run into an old co worker from 2011 Gil. Who i know IS gay. We are in a room with some women in it and he says he knows Jamie and runs into her occasionally, there's a place or street he goes to and he runs into her 1 in 3 times. I find it odd that he might know her. One of the women says, "Oh no your another guy she's used." implying i'm a long list of guys she has discarded. in Her condition is makes sense. people with BPD rarely settle down with anyone for long periods of time, so many embrace a more open lifestyle, of never sticking with anyone. She DID give the impression of a serial dater when I knew her. and stopped talking to me altogether years ago... I ask the woman if we are talking about the same Jamie and give her her full name. and she says, "yes, that's the one." Gil says again, "We can still try to run into her there's a 1 in 3 chance." I stand there and try to justify myself for a second of trying to hold onto her. Fact: She can't even manage a simple "hi," after years. I am forever discarded, Even of she reads my dreams she would never ever talk to me again, I would get a fraction of a second of a look once she realizes who I am, and completely shut down towards me.

I wake up while thinking all these things. This dream really bothered me for a few days after... and it actually kind of upsets me to write it down.

Jamie

Another fraction of a second dream whew i am walking with jamie, and she seems "normal," walking arm in arm. But that's all I get for the week.

OGRE

Scary dream. i am in a house filled with monster or something. I find a kitchen where a mad scientist works. I walk past a living room where a giant guy about 8 feet tall is cutting hair off a lamb and muttering to himself, "Ah yess so smooth will be your skin, like butter it will be to eat..." I am frightened by the scene and hid above a shelf in the kitchen. The scientist is walking back into the kitchen. So I dart out past the living room again. Now a whole heard of 30 or so sheep are in the living room getting their wool cut off from the same guy. His brother enters the room who is like 16 feet and i realize the soft sheep are for his brother. I wonder if he eats them alive. I don't stick around to find out. The dream ends as soon as I leave.