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Going home tomorrow for 2 days. I'm exhausted.

Jamie

Directly after posting my last entry. Me and Jamie were sitting on the floor facing one another. My hands in hers. We were discussing the seriousness what I said. She seemed to be as serious as me.

Fight

Me and Jamie were walking around in a building somewhere. There were people in sleeping bags on the floor. Some guy was arguing with me. He wanted to get violent. I somehow talked him into not being violent towards me. He got mad and punched someone in a sleeping bag. I went around the corner and told Jamie that we were calling the police on that guy.

I guess the guy heard what I said. In a flash he was fighting me. For a few moves I used his aggression against him. This made him more mad. He got me on the floor and I was trying to hold him back. I can't remember what happened after.

Ladder

Just a dream of working. I was high up a ladder. It started to tip over when I tried to get down. That's all I remember.

Not much dreams. Back home for a couple of days.


Wtf

I was in a large living room. Kittens were around. That skunk was there. It went up to me and wanted to be pet. I pet it.

The dream transitioned to a dinner table. A young girl who was half human and half pony was there. I was telling her how much she had grown in the past few days. She was laughing but unsure what to say. Asuka and Jamie were there I think exchanging confused glances at one another in response to what she said.

Next night I was in bed. Me and the Jamie voice were having discussions about the subject of the last entry. We both seem to have temptations that are difficult to control. And we both know that when we physically come together that we can't indulge with other people that way. But yet, the desires might plague us.

I went into prayer and asked Jesus what should we do then? How do we handle these desires which never seem to go away?

Jesus answered in a dream in a strange way.

[B]Jesus interview[/B]

I saw Jesus in a low income apartment. A television crew was interviewing him. He wore scraggly clothes, and his hair was slightly unkempt. He also wore a black baseball hat. His demeanor was like a ,"Dude. Bro." guy. He was smiling and saying that sometimes he walks around on this earth as a physical man. He talks to a lot of people and some people don't know who he is. Then he took a swing from a beer.

I woke up in shock. I pondered the question I asked him and considered if the dream was a response. The key seemed to be the beer he was drinking. It's said Jesus drank wine in the Bible. He said drunkenness was a sin in the Bible but never said having a singular drink now and then. So, these desires were to be handled in moderation? Unsure I asked in a prayer about the dream and if the beer he was drinking was alcoholic. I got an instant response that it was non alcoholic. So then I figured he was saying to relieve that pressure with a substitute that isn't the actual act.

Interesting.

Cave

Just a dream of me and Jamie, maybe some other people sitting in a dark cave. Jamie was sitting arms around her knees.

Hardly anything. Jamie drive by last night? I saw a grey car pull into the alley by my house while I was outside. The back end of the car reminded me of a station wagon. A head turned to look at me but it was too dark to see. Voice insisted it was her.


One dream was too embarrassing to post.

Guitar


Was at a concert. I was sitting with Jamie. A familiar song started playing. I pulled a guitar out to try and play along. I had a tough time playing it. My fingers weren't working properly. Jamie was Staring at me.

Wedding

Just an audio dream. All I heard was a man saying, "... In sickness and in health..."

Me and Jamie get married in a dream again?

Jamie

Just a flash of her working with me in my Dad's trade. She was putting a tape up high on a wall.

That's it for the Jamie dreams. Wish it were more.

Gross

I seemed to be in the ancient past. I was avoiding a tribe of cannibal natives with red feathers in their hair. I walked by a half eaten dead body on a beach with large rocks. It smelled really bad and I threw up.

McDonald's

I got hired at a McDonald's and some lady manager that seemed to know me started yelling at me for no reason. I got pissed off and quit on the spot.

McDonald's again


I was hired at a McDonald's again. But I was working with younger people who were easy going.

My recall has still been crappy. Maybe one flash or dream per night. I have weekly work in stettler now, our family is restoring one half is a motel. We stay for 5 days, then 2 days in Bowden. We rotate staying home to look after the animals. And it's 30 per hour per person. Could take a few months. At least I have work for now.

Dreams.

Justin

Random dream about our recently former PM. Justin Trudeau. I was in a room like our living room. On a table, I saw a cinnamon bun. No one was around so I ate it. A second later Justin came in and looked at the table. He looked dissapointed at something and left.

Well, I guess he had it coming.

Jamie

Just a flash of Jamie with Dexter. They were both killing someone.

Wal Mart?

I was walking around a Wal Mart. I had memories of working there with a red head girl. But I think it was Jamie in the dream. But she wasn't there. I saw the door greeter guy with glasses who use to be a cashier and he's been there like 15 years.. The lobby, vestibule was like the co-op in Innisfail.

I really hope to have more Jamie dreams. Kind of sad we don't hang out dreams much anymore.

We've been doing good in the voice lately. Except yesterday I had a bad emotional episode, which hasn't happened in quite a while. We got through it and we seem to be on the same page.

Well me and the Jamie voice seemed to have calmed down regarding whatever it was we were having trouble with. That's good. I can't believe it's been over a year already.

Jamie

Just a dream that she was following me in her car.

Note: I hardly left my house. Just a couple times to get coffee. Maybe had a drive by... Black SUV, dark hair and sunglasses, but I couldn't really see. The voice didn't say anything about it.


Jesus

Just a flash of Jesus watching me and Jamie. Or maybe he was with us? Can't remember the details.

I can't remember the other dreams I had. Something about being driven somewhere and arguing with my brother or something.

Well, I keep going to bed late and having a long time to fall asleep. I keep waking up for the washroom but somehow managed to have a couple dreams.

Jamie

Just a dream with Jamie in it. I can't recall what. Just that she was good and being affectionate. Can't complain

This in conjunction with the other morning we both seemed to sense one another strongly. It was really nice. seemed to talk all morning.

oops

A dream about the other co worker in cochrane. He was crying and seemed upset that I didn't want to work with them anymore.

Complicated situation: If they want to deduct pay based on food and sleeping for 6 nights at their place, they should have mentioned that beforehand and not wait until payday. Next asshole that pulls that on me I'll call the labor board or a small claims court.

Might have had a slight lucid. but it didn't last long.

Jamie

She had some food for me or something. This is the only Jamie dream I had...

Semi Lucid

I was outside some weird apartment/townhouse area. I was outside between them. It was night. There was a bunch of people terrified. I looked around. There were wolves sniffing blankets where people were sleeping. It didn't feel real. I said to everyone, "Don't worry, It's just a dream." The wolves were friendly and moved on. Can't remember what happened after this.

At least Jamie dreams are consistent!!!

Not much lately. Another lonely Valentines day. Kind of sad that that I have someone I could spend it with, but for whatever reason. We're not on speaking terms.In dreams and voices she's very re assuring. I seriously wonder sometimes if I'm schitzophrenic. Maybe I only think I see Jamie driving by, or people that look like her. but they all seem connected. The dreams, The voice, The drive bys. On this the jamie voice says she still feels really bad about how she treated me in the past. I'm always re assuring that I'm ready to hear her out, listen, and forgive.

And my drunken co worker friend decided to rip me off. and extra charge for food and accomidation. well, that wasn't discussed at all vefore or during the time I worked with him. And after all his verbal abuse. I let all my BPD rage out on him in some texts. Me personally, I would never rip a friend off or make them feel unsafe hanging with me. This si one bridge I hope to have burned behind me. I don't think he'll be asking for my help again. I mean friggin Mcdonald's and Wal-Mart keep are more Keep more honest books on what they owe their employees (Just make sure you have all your own copies of hourly records including helping other stores. leaving certain managers extra emails and texts any extra hours)

Oh wait. this is a dream blog.

Jamie 1

I was in the Labrynth place again. Jamie was chasing some guy along a landing who was wearing a football helmet and jersey. I called after her but she chased the guy through a door.

*I did ask Raven to help with the dreams*

Jamie 2

I was with Jamie in a busy street or in a mall. someone familiar was by a window. Me and Jamie stopped to talk to her. It was Raven. We asked her if Raven would officiate our wedding. Raven said yes. (I don't think either of us were lucid.)

Raven wrote back and logged a dream where she was by a video game store and then ran into a couple. She wasn't sure if it was me or Jamie or not. but she tried to change the dream to find us, but was unable. Probably because were already there. She didn't recall any converstation about anyone getting married though.

Jamie

A flash of Jamie taking me to a bedroom. She said I could sleep there and that it was a safe place to sleep. (Seems to be in response to a few nights ago, my toxic family started yelling late at night. This after last week not sleeping after my drunken co worker decided to use me as his verbal punching bag right before bed) I must say thanks.

Creepy realm

Long and semi vivid dream in places. I was in a very strange place. Jamie was with me sometimes, and sometimes not. You'd enter a room, turn a corner etc, and the scene would completely change. Every scene and room gave an eerie vibe. One room had disabled people with grossly mis-shaped heads. I had a slight urge to kill everyone in the room in frustration for getting lost. I back tracked only to wind up in stranger places.

At one point I seemed to be outside and came across some clouds on a dark street. The place looked bright, like some people imagine heaven. There were small children or people there. I asked them if it was heaven. They said it was until the Angels abandoned them. I briefly remembered I once watched the entirety of "supernatural" There was a heaven in that show, but god had abandoned the angels. I wondered if this dream was connected to that show somehow. The people said they were cold and to light a fire. All I saw was incense sticks. so I lit them. I said it wasn't quite a fire. They said that this was the hottest fire to them. I was like: I can build you a real fire. I had some fire wood somehow and some kindling. I went to search for some rocks to make a pit with. I was on a street looking for some rock gardens or something. I wound up by this temple made of hardened mud. I began taking the mud from there, but the little people said I was violating a most sacred holy place. They chased to attack me but I ran around a corner and...

Was in a strange hallway. I turned another corner into a room and some people in the shadows of the room were staring at me funny. I back tracked and was somewhere else. I was in some lobby area with lots of people standing around. I asked them how to leave this strange place. Someone knowingly chuckled and said that they wouldn't help me.

Later I was with Jamie by a river with someone else. We both were trying to figure out how to leave this strange place.

woke up. The Jamie voice was saying she was having nightmares or something. Back to sleep.

Jamie 2

I was in another creepy place that looked like the Esther staircase area in the labrynth movie. I saw Jamie running on a landing. I called out to her, but she turned into a room. she seemed to be running from something or desperately trying to leave the strange dream realm.

Just relaxing at home these days. Can't believe I Re watched all of "Dexter." over the last two months...

Jamie 1

Just an audio dream of Jamie calling me her Boyfriend again. (Yes I asked the voice to re affirm that to me in the dreams. I need a lot of reassurance okay.)

Dexter

Can't recall many details I was around the woman played by the Buffy actress. That's all.

Jamie 2

Jamie dropped our baby or something. She was inconsolable of course but I did my best to comfort her.

Jamie 3

I was doing something at a table. Jamie was beside me and was copying exactly what I was doing. I noticed her keep looking over. Yep, that's a borderline thing. Maybe if she believes in Jesus she can get more of a stable identity from him? Might work.

Well, Looks like my 2-3 week working vacation was cut short. Pretty sure i might have passed Jamie on the way back (At least that's what the voice says)

Anyway a couple days before I left. My working friend got drunk and had some really nasty words for me out of the blue. It sent me reeling all night. Might have gotten one hour of sleep. The whole time I seemed to be talking to the Jamie voice. She listened to my issues with what happened with my friend. Seemed to validate whatever I was feeling and thinking. Very supportive. early in the morning, I started seeing beings in the shadows. I heard my friend talking in the room when he wasn't there. At one point The way the window light was on a wall behind a half wall, I saw pulsating green light. As if something or someone was behind the half wall. I told the Jamie voice what I was seeing somewhat. Sh said, "You're having BPD hallucinations. I see things like that when I'm having an episode." I did a quick prayer about demons of hallucinations or whatever and the green pulsating light went away. I managed to sleep an hour but no dreams. Those are the kinds of things I use to see as a child. I remember lightly pressing on my eyeballs to make more hallucinations when I was a kid as well I confronted my friend about his behavior in the morning, and he managed to convince me to work another day. He promised not to drink that night and that he would be more easy going. He was.

Jamie 1

Just an image of Jamie walking around somewhere.

Killer

something about the main killer from the Dexter new blood series.

Jamie 2

Me and Jamie were in bed, I was holding her from behind. she took my arm over her side and put my hand, you know where...

Now that I'm back to my normal routine hopefully I'll have more longer and vivid dreams.

Not much recall at all.

Psycho

Disturbing dream. Some serial killer had a victim in a medical chair? There was a device above the head. The killer was operating the device, which cut right into the man's forehead, pulling a precise chunk of his brain out. The victim managed to say, "Pancake." In response. The killer put a glue like substance over the man's mouth to keep him from speaking. It was bluish and bubbly. My vision panned out revealing the killer to be a woman...

I woke up quite disturbed by this. The Jamie voice indicated that she had a scary dream as well. Was she the woman?

Jamie

Just a quick flash of a sex dream.

Driving

Just a flash of driving by Canmore.

I'm working temporarily away from my area. Family business slowed down, almost broke so my friend in Cochrane offered to have me work a few weeks. Jamie voice didn't seem happy that I have to move for a few weeks. Not sure what is going on with the dreams tho. Totally chaotic.

Dexter

I had a flash of Dexter standing in front of a mirror. He has a syringe needle and says to the mirror. " Robert, you are never going to do THAT again."

I guess when Jamie was under the influence of negative dream energy she sent Dexter after me.

Vague

Began with a flash of Dexter heading to a crime scene. I knew he was after me, so I hid at the Trinity Killer's house but the guy was crazy so I left.

Then I hid in the Fromville town and figured Dexter would have no way of competing with monsters that look human.

I think I ran into Jamie there. She seemed okay now. It was night time and we wanted to hide. Some people led us into a house. There was a cart or bed inside. We started hanging there. I asked the people of the house if they had a talisman on the door to keep the monsters out. The man pointed to the talisman hanging by the door and said, "It's okay they're our friends now." Me and Jamie flipped when the guy opened the door and the monster people came in. The cowboy hat guy came in. Instead of killing everyone he shook the townspeople's hands. They started talking like old friends.

I figured I should double back to Trinity's house to see if Dexter was stopped there.

Back at Trinity's, instead of trying to kill me, he happily invited me into his house to have dinner with his family. I thought it was odd. Jamie was long gone by now.

Dancing

I'm with Jamie at her house and we are slow dancing to an Elvis song that everyone and their mother's uncle has covered. My vision zooms out and Dexter sneaks around a corner. Only Jamie seems to notice him. She makes eye contact with him and shakes her head, calling him off. He nods and ducks back into the shadows.

Dexter again

I'm around him, still paranoid that he's going to go after me. He says, " Don't worry Buddy."

Jamie again

I'm saying to Jamie, " I don't know what you know about my situation."

I think the conversation is in reference to me having to go away for a few weeks.

What

A flash of Dexter making out with Jamie. And not his nanny of the same name.

Sex

I'm in a strange place. There's 2 rows of mannequin women. Just passed them is a woman. I get behind her and right away get to business. Not sure if this is Jamie or not.

Okay I can't really tell if Jamie is okay or not.

Jamie 1

A dream of me talking to Jamie. She ran away from me like I said something really mean. .

Cats

I was wandering around a house. I saw a box with a small white kitten in it. Weeks old maybe. I went to pet it. The kitten grew large and tried to play fight with my hand.

Later I saw another cat that lives in my real home. Inky, who always treats pets as a playfight. I saw him around a corner of a room. I went somewhere to a different house far away from where I was. I spotted Inky again.

Jamie 2

I was with my brother at a table. Jamie was there. I was writing down a grocery list. My writing was really messy, I couldn't get anything out properly. I made a comment on that. Jamie said, "Let me see." I was trying to draw a G, but it came out like a a strange handwritten H. I was embarrassed because I remember when she wrote her name down on a piece of paper irl, I remembered how perfect her writing form was. And me, I even had a school tutor when I was young, who made me practice the alphabet over and over again, and no matter how much I tried and practiced, I was always sloppy. Jamie always had great spelling and grammar as well. I have no Idea what a ; is, or how to use it. So I never use it.

Anyway my brother said something about writing, "bread" down with impatience. a minut later Jamie piped up and said, "Yes make sure you get the right kind of bread down." with more impatience. I nervously explained that I made sure I wrote the write thing down.

I thought it was odd, Her ganging up on me with my brother. Not taking my side... Well I'll say this: If her friends or family, or anyone else ganged up on her to make her feel bad - even if they are right. My Job is to take her side no matter what, I hope she sees me the same way.

I woke up and the voice apologized about the dream.

Jamie 3

I was in a living room with a bunch of random couches and TVs. Jamie was there, and several guys. some passed out on couches. I was tired so I laid down for a nap on the end of one. Some guy made a comment about me sleeping there so I got up and sat down at a chair. I was watching a show or something about the black widow from the MCU or something. I found it boring. So I got up and left the room for some reason. I came back. Jamie was there sitting on a couch staring blankly ahead, with some younger guy beside her who was shirtless. He was trying to put his arm around her. I gave her a dirty look but then ignored the situation. now the guy had changed to having his shirt on. But her still was getting a little too friendly. Jamie was still trying hard to pretend I wasn't there. I looked around and found the room in a different order. I was a little puzzled at that. I saw one of the TVs had star trek on or something. I went to watch it when I woke up.

When I woke up, Her voice was apologizing again. She said she didn't know why she was acting that way.