dream fragment

Date: 06 Feb

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I have a number of short lds that I chain through the void. Summary

LD: In my old room, stabilize by touching furniture. Notice that lamps are on. Find a newspaper I try to read with difficulty for a while. The lamps go off, I become blind and then the dream blacks to the void. I stay there for a bit, waiting for the next dream.

LD: In a car, get out of the car, notice my reflection in the windows. Hair is the same, but it gets in my face, I make a ponytail. I want to change the scene, try splitting the space, I feel another place, but nothing visually changes. I get bored, allow myself to fall back. This yields a number of sensations as well as weightlessness. The dream fades to the void. I wait for the next scene.

LD: I find myself in a nice hotel lobby, bright flowers decorate the place. Some guest DCs, a monk at the distance catches my attention, I go to check it out. The monk is gone but a few DCs are paying their respect to a metal statue. I have some mischievous thoughts, but bow down instead. There are two more statues (not in service), metal turtles. The dream fades to black, I stay still for DEILD but it takes a while.

Review in head, feeling tired, I fall asleep.

DILD+: on and off lucidity, FA, in- dream wild and sexy time

DILD: I find myself in this familiar place and start looking at the plants near the windows, try some tk on them, but it doesn't work. I think maybe there's a reason for this. Then I turn to examine the room, everything looks kind of blurry and unstable. My attention is caught by those lamps - three lamps, I try to identify if they come from a memory or just random ones, it's like my vision almost splits in two and there is a fourth lamp, but I try to focus more and they're back to three. I mentally make a note of the bad quality, then go down the stairs. I immediately regret doing so, because I run into the B6 DC and she charges at me. At this moment, I become quite concerned that this might truly be some sort of evil entity just using her form to terrorize me. It's just too active, so lively in the eyes and so aggressive. I have no choice but to face her. I think I say a few words, but her mood remains the same. Then I decide this is a good opportunity to do my breathing and concentrate on that. I do this for a while. In the meantime, she seems to have changed her mind about attacking me and is weeping.

Memory gap, possibly another blackout.

DILD: On the street now and I see this empty space in the horizon and recall I wanted to use something like this to draw a mountain. A bit uncerain if the dream will last long enough, with all the blackouts and instability before. I decide to go ahead with the summoning, yet before I do any motions with my hands I notice that the space isn't quite empty. It looks like in the very distance, as if seeing through the fog is something that looks like a large mountain. As I keep staring at it, it becomes much clearer and closer, till I find myself looking at a solid spot of the mountain covered with grass. The surroundings have changed without me noticing and I am at the foot of this huge mountain. I cover the majority of it with snow until I feel it's enough for the task. Then I examine the slope, which is initially way too steep to enable any upward movements. This worries me but I move to a part of it and feeling very excited summon a pair of ski and ski poles.

I totally can't believe the summon worked as I have nothing to do with this sport. Anyways, I start gliding up the slope, which by then is less steeper. Contrary to my expectations from real life, this is not as hard and actually pretty pleasurable. I glide upwards the slope which goes up and down and it feels as if I am on a roller coaster. Then I reach the top of the mountain and feel adventurous, contemplate on jumping from the top or skiing down. Yet before I can decide what to do, the momentum carries me forward and I continue moving in the air. I notice that I feel no switch in sensations from gliding on the mountain surface to this weird air movement. My mood is great, I gaze to what's ahead and not below me. It is a beautiful view of green plains, with a weird building with one-two statues in the distance and a very large gray palace next to it.

At this time it clicks this could so well be the palace I wanted to summon (while reviewing tasks during wbtb). I'm still skeptic that will be able to make it and complete the entire task but give it a go. Don't remember flying for a long distance, it's like the palace became closer as I started to focus on the steps of the task. I go in what looks like museum palace lobby, there's some thematic furniture, long red carpet or velvet curtains, don't pay too much attention to them. I immediately think dad. That's actually quite easy and there he stands in one of the side corridors. I say a few words to him, to mentally confirm this is going the way it has to be. Then start looking for the beast but there is no one in sight.

The room I'm in is pretty small and there are stairs going down and I go to the lower floor, looking for the beast. I run into an old Chinese man that I try to make look scary but no matter how much effort I put into this, he stays the same. I obviously start making scary faces and roar in an attempt to distort his features into evil ones, but he looks scared as hell and is shivering. I can't believe my DC is afraid of me and where is that beast? A couple of DCs that I don't pay much attention to appear and there it is - a disgusting beast. It looks like one H. Bosch's animals - a mixture of different animals, like a large pink pig and echidna, strange fur and the nose of a mole. It also is spitting something poisonous from its month and hissing. I so much regret not being able to summon my much now friendly looking lion man at this point.

Disgusted, I approach the wild creature, tell him I love him (it) and kiss it near what looks like its mouth. I remain with my eyes closed and wait a bit, but can still feel this thing aggressively making breathing noises and moving around. I know the curse has to be broken but nothing happens, and I can't take the little bugger any more. It's somewhat smaller now - the size of a cat maybe and I throw it away where it gets under some furniture. That thing keeps making the sounds, but looks wounded and in the next moment I see that it gives existence to a DC that comes out from under the furniture. To my amusement, it is a female classmate. Good enough I suppose. The dream soon fades.

Date: 24 Jan

Pre bed: 200mg val, 50mg B6

Wbtb: 1/4 latte

Wasn't very wakeful even though repeated mantras a few times, fell asleep rather fast, had a few non-lds I can't recall

DILD: I am having a tense conversation with this female DC I know. She starts criticizing me. I reply that as a revenge I will then do something to make her feel the same way she makes me feel with all her comments. While this is a rather habitual mental reaction, I notice that contrary to other times I don't feel anything at that very moment. Still, as part of my revenge scheme I take her and turn her upside down in front of all the DCs in the room to publicly humiliate her.

As I stare at her, I notice that she just stays there, like a motionless puppet and become lucid. We're in a very large meeting room with a long table in the middle and lots of DCs participating in some corporate event. I'm in a daring mood and decide it's time to defy social rules by getting on the table in the middle of this meeting. Then I almost lose lucidity being carried away by thoughts of how all of the world's problems may be solved by by issuing unlimited credit cards to the entire population.

I keep thinking about this issue as I leave the place and continue towards an unknown city center. There to help me focus more I shout out loud "I am dreaming". There was a slight instability so this helps me ground as well.

Then I remember the invisibility task and go in the middle of the road pretending to be invisible.There are cars coming from all directions but as soon as I pay attention to them, they hit the breaks and spin a bit. I turn around and the same thing happens again. Then I see this huge truck coming in my direction. I start waving hands, checking if the driver can see me. He doesn't hit the brake or slow down and the truck is quickly coming closer. I step to the side to avoid the impact. There's little space between me and the truck, my uncontrolled expectations cause it to fall sideways on top of me, where I feel this huge weight on me. I try to move and free my head, but this results in a physical feeling, which gives me the impression I have just moved in my bed. I expect to wake up any moment but get an FA instead.

I believe that I have woken up for real and the first thing I notice is this piano music coming from the outside. I'm actually in the neighbors where we used to live some time ago and look to find where the music is coming from. I see this girl that I remember (possibly from another dream but could be false memory) who got that piano there and something about her. As if that isn't enough, the balcony is crowded - many people in their 20s and 30s dressed with business attire as if attending some sort of event. I'm think this is just too much when I am trying to fall asleep and decide this can only be a dream, reminding myself that I was trying to ld. Can't member how, but it seems I lose consciousness after that and have another FA.

I think in the beginning, I'm looking from the window to see what's down but then the scene changes and we move to this wooden porch. I initially see this strange big animal that looks suspiciously like a DS, I can't tell what kind of animal it is. Then there is a smaller one and I'm still trying to identify the large one. I'm starting to have some real doubts about this and begin to count the animals, one now looks like a bear and can't remember the rest but there's four of them. I conclude this is a dream and go to interact with one of the animals. It looks like a very large black boar/tapir and as I place my hand on its snout, it bites me and it even hurts.

I move slightly to the left and examine the rest of the area, where I notice a number of elephant-like creatures. I think they are separated from the porch, but no cage, it looks much like in a zoo. At some point the elephants begin to distort in features, open mounts and start roaring very louldy in a generally unpleasant manner. I try to stop them by thinking I want them to stop, but nothing happens and more join the roaring event. I remain there staring at them as they do so, kind of calm, but there's also this deeper inner response to their roaring, which surely is what is affecting them. I think that the problem is exactly this feedback loop - I am thinking that they are roaring, therefore they continue roaring. Then conveniently, I recall the inivible task and think it can be applied quite nicely here. I think that I am invisible. To my genuine surprise, at this very moment all the roaring stops for good.

I'm curisous to how far I can take this with my supposed invisibility and turn around and try to sneak out, while carefully listening for any reaction. The dream fades.

Notes: I have reduced B6 dosage to 50mg as previously it made me too wakeful. Recent valerian series - characterized by difficult recall, lower lucidity levels and more bizarre occurrences, in particular animals.

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 2/2

I thoroughly review in head the previous dreams and get more insomnia

Vaguely recall these two as I fell asleep afterwards.

DILD: I am in this yard like it was in the past, much wider, etc. Know I am dreaming and think of music. It think there was happiness, confidence and possibly thoughts about something before this part.

I start to sing or expect to hear a song. My subcon picks up a dream remix of "heal the world" by M. Jackson. I concentrate on making it sound like sung by a choir and hear the music loudly coming from everywhere and into me. Notice a few instruments too, really nice. I keep singing with the music but at some point I don't know the lyrics so that makes it hard for the music to continue. In addition, the more I become one with the music coming all around me, the more I lose sight of the yard and the dream and become blind. The dream soon fades.

I may have a micro awakening or so, no review, continue sleepying.

DILD:Don't remember the beginning of the dream. I am in this room, talking to bf and open and close a few doors, where I think about not locking them as it is a dream.

Bf is going somewhere but before I can say anything else, he vanishes. There's a stick that I decide to leave outside, should I need it for defense? I also notice a strange gurgling sound coming from a pipe, find it interesting. I go back to the same room, there were lots of bed there before but now it's a single connected bed the size of four beds is covering most of the room.

I remember I wanted to play with my ipad, so I try to summon it by drawing its shape with my fingers. It's funny because I do this instinctively rather than consciously. While there's a rectangular shape in progress, it isn't working to produce an ipad and on the bed just below my hands is my ipad so I grab it and try to stretch the frame. It happens, just as if I was dragging the image of a frame on a PC. I expand the screen to a TV size, then have to apply a bit more stretching as it does not stay in the desired shape for long. It gets small again. I think about trying to control the image.

Then something happens outside and now there are two scary zombi-like DCs and they are about to enter the place. I try to close the door although know they will get in anyways. I decide to face them and affect them. Actually, I feel quite confident and no matter how ugly they are (especially one with something coming out of his mouth), I just feel positivity and so spread it to them. They become quite happy and we just hang in there like drunk buddies. I stare in the eyes of one of them, he feels like a phantom rather than real person and is not looking at me with any purpose/driving force. The dream soon fades.

I black out before being able to journal and have a few other dream fragments.

Date:03 Jan

Wbtb: around 50 caffeine (latte), way too wakeful again

WILD: I finally feel as if I am not in bed anymore but somewhere else, so allow myself to look around (don't remember opening the eyes?). Yes, I am in an unknown room that has a slight resemblance to grandma's place.

At this point I recall 3 tasks and notice that there isn't a single DC here. The dream feels unstable and I recall that we talked how 501 would examine his hands in detail to anchor himself in the dream and decide to do so. I have a good look at my hands, which look quite realistic and similar to my real ones and move on to my arm where I concentrate on the fine hairs. I also remember to do the old classic stabilization where I lick my arm but with little effect. I still feel the dream slipping away and nervously walk around, thinking maybe I would try this opposite task I had in mind, but I begin to lose vision. The lower part of my vision becomes a blur and I begin to feel weightless, so conclude now isn't a good time for that particular task.

My vision gets somewhat better. I turn around and see a window, a good opportunity to get out of here. There is distinct coldness emanating from outside and I am sure it will help me freshen up and condense me back to normal. Before going out, I briefly wonder whether to bring a blanket or something, since the air is chilly. I open the window and push myself outside. In the meantime, a girl passes by carrying a blanket that she drops nearby. I ask her about her NY resolution but can't hear what she replies. The dream collapses.

DEILD: I very briefly touch on my body and concentrate on dreaming again. There's a confusing mid point dreamlet where I remain in darkness and can hear women talking around me, I keep still, waiting for the dream.

I feel a scene change, but decide I will wait a bit longer to allow the dream to fully form and maybe it will be more stable. I finally conclude it is ok to move and begin exploring. I am in my old room and can see that the voices from the previous part belong to a number of women. They are sitting on couches around a table with food and drinks as if there's some sort of party going on. A friend from school is also there.

I remember the NY resolution task and make an announcement that I would like to hear what their resolutions are. My friend says "I want some juice" and points at the table. A bit unsatisfied with the answer I move on to the next woman who looks in her forties and repeat the same question. She just stares at me with her mouth open. I wait a bit but not a single word comes out. There's another woman sitting next to her and I address her "what about your beautiful friend sitting next to you?", I feel as if I am moderating some sort of show. She says something about a friendship club in New York. I try to memorize as much as possible. The dream soon ends.

I make a quick review in mind and wonder if I should try to go back for more but really need to visit the restroom.

I also remember a fragment that I can't allocate, where I was looking at a blue/grayish backpack with something written on it by CL.

Date: 25 Dec

Wbtb: sleepy so only 5-10min with 35-40 mg caffeine (Red Bull)

Dream quality: vivid, shifty items, recall evading

The ld part is preceded by a short non-ld FA fragment I barely recall.

LD Frag: In the next scene, I am walking down the street lucid. There was something going on here, not sure what. I decide I want to have some fun (part habit part task) climbing up a building. The dream is already very shifty. I go up climbing this building where I easily place my hands even though the distance between the frames of each window fitting my left and right hand separately is out of day life proportion. I keep on climbing but when I reach the end of the building, last floor, another one appears, I climb it, this repeats two more times, then I think about the roof and finally reach it. Some thoughts about having to draw the wall of china, looking for a place to do it. Evading recall at this point but I want to go down and the whole thing happens quite quickly. I descend but at the same time am still holding on to the building with one hand. As I almost reach the ground I stop and look to see what's going on - my hand has stretched all the way down to where I am. I have some more thoughts about this and as far as I can remember the dream soon ends.

Not sure if I touched on my body to deild or chained in dream. Don't remember.

LD: In an office building now, want to cross over to next building, very distracted as something is going on in the building, announcement to all employees which are going somewhere. Between the two buildings are a few red wires and I am confident that I will be able to walk on them. As I try to adjust them for an easier use, they change so that there are two additional wires I could eventually hold on to with my hands.

Not sure if I cross the entire distance or just a part of it, memory is hazy, in the next moment I also do some vertical climbing. This time I have the realization that there are invisible horizontal lines that have been helping me with my climbings all along, therefore it should be easy to climb even on empty space. I touch the air above me, trying to feel an edge or something to hold on to. Initially there's nothing, then I hold on to something, although I also summon some sort of intangible wall/building part as well. I climb a bit upwards in the air.

I finally recall the snowman task. It's dark and there is already some snow on the street but it's not enough. I scan the area, looking for a place with more snow. Initially see these kids that are playing with the snow, in the process of building a snowman. I have a mix of real and false memories, where I remember that this is how Steph completed the TOTM, she built the snowman together with some kids. I don't want the task execution to be exactly the same, therefore I go to another place.

Here there's also lots of snow on the ground, cars and there are two snowmen in progress. I'm also thinking about journalling at this point and whether it is ok to use the half-ready snowmen. I decide to add the finishing touches on one of them and decorate the head. Conveniently, there are a number of items right next to the snowmen, so I just pick up the carrot nose and also put a woolen blue hat on it. I get some sort of dream memory from the hat and remark that the snowman looks very much like D (a schoolmate, who also makes lots of appearances in my dreams, come to think about it he does wear a blue hat). Two other classmates are now here and we are discussing this, while I am also thinking about how to journal this dream.

Without much effort and while I am not looking at him, the snowman turns into the real D and looks kind of pissed off. We irritate him more by making laughing noises behind his back. Can't recall the conversations. Another classmate appears, D is now friendlier I address them both to help me draw the wall of China. Me and the other classmate turn to look at what's across the street where I want to make the wall of China appear. He tells me he doesn't quite know how to draw it but will try.

With no further involvement (apart from comments I can't recall) from his side, I find a spot in the distance and make a few predetermined moves with my hand. Immediately, I get a sort of a large long rocky structure, obviously not what I want. I look away, say something to my classmate then try again in another place. This time the result is better, it is a close match to the Great Wall, although its existence is uncertain/shifty. Some thought processes going on again, do not draw it again or you will change it, do not lose it out of sight, now I need to get there. It shortly disappears, after couple more thoughts and looking appears again. Now it is on a much more convenient place.

We are are at the bottom of an overcrowded with items hill and the wall of China, which has a middle age touch to it, slightly lighter stone color, is stretching from the bottom of the hill to the very top. I enter and get on top of the structure, which is made of small steps in the middle. Some task confusion, I take a couple of steps to make it count (even though this wasn't part of the task). Then remember what I was supposed to do - vandalize.

I look around, the two walls to the side are made of lots of lined statues and I take a heavy metal statue and use it to start breaking the rest. Then I come across a miniature with one of the Sumerian gods/guardians wondering what's that doing here. I don't want to break it. In the meantime, next to the wall the surroundings have changed and I am now in some sort of open air Asian temple, where they honor the ancestors. There is also a creepy dark female deity statue near the part with the wall of China. I feel bad for recking havoc in this place. It surely is enough for the task. What was next - apologize? (I truly think this is part of the task). No, I have to fight the authorities. But then, let's apologize anyways, I do so. Ok, now I have to find some Chinese to fight, I try to summon them, but the dream thins out and I wake up.

Date: 09 Oct Entry 2/3

At this point I just wanted to sleep, so only wrote the key words for this dream.

LD: No idea how this dream started. I am on one of the streets in my hometown. There are also lots of kids playing here. Having no particular goals in mind, I decide to explore around and get in a shop where they sell crystals, bracelets, etc. My first though is "what am I doing here", since this is an ld and I don't usually do this in lds but non-lds. Anyways, there's some pretty cool stuff on sale - colorful necklaces and I check them out. The shop keeper is a woman that greets me in Spanish. I get a bit confused, does she see me? (I sometimes randomly assume that am OBEing somewhere and the people might be real instead of DCs.)

I say a few words to her and then she gives me some sort of a wooden board with letters on it. I am thinking this is similar to an ouija board and might use it to obtain answers/info this way. It also looks like a good idea for invention, because I haven't seen anything like this before. There is a text that has been scratched on it (no ink) and I try to read the message, but the letters look like ancient Greek and turn to random ones. I then face her and decide to ask her to give me an advice, anything that can be useful for me. I am hoping of hearing concrete instructions of what exactly I should do. (yeah, I know!)

She tells me that I have to live in harmony with the surroundings, because everything from the environment (some words I can't understand) changes our DNA.

I find the answer much more profound than one would assume. I can't believe she just said that. It changes our DNA? She nods yes. Can you repeat this again. (I am trying to memorize it as hard as I can). She repeats the answer again. I want to ask her more things, but at this moment, similarly to inception, lots of DCs - the kids from outside storm the place and I can't talk to her. I tell them to bugger off but the dream ends.


Almost forgotten short ld.

LD Frag:I am looking at my feet and decide I want to change my clothes and shoes. Initially, I have the desire to make a pair of purple shoes appear, but briefly see only one. Next, I am wearing a flip flop on one foot and a gray high heel shoe on my other foot. I make some sort of grey leggings appear, then think people won't be very interested in reading this entry.

Note: summary

Date: 17 Sept

Short ld: I go in the building where grandma lives, get in the elevator but it looks wider than usual. It turns into some sort of transportation cart and I move through the neighborhood. At some point I press the button for the floor and get out. There is a bear. I recognize this as a DS and become lucid. I take a turn and continue walking in this room full of DCs. There is also a half-lion half-man similar to the one from previous dreams walking around. I notice there is a green aura-like blur around him and another DC. I try tk on some cups but it doesn't work. Then I remember AF and decide to do it here and now but the dream fades and I wake up.

Date: 20 Sept

Short ld frag: I am in a house and now in a small room, wearing only a towel and next to this sports guy. I know this is a dream, but am not focused. I stare at the guy and wait for more clarity. Instead, the guy starts humping me with his clothes on. He makes these moves, it looks kind of weird and funny, especially his face. In the meantime, I am thinking about phasing, but the door just opens so I sneak out.

I go down the stairs. Being semi-naked I decide I want to turn this into a show where everybody would be dancing naked. It's a dream after all, I remind myself. I try to organize the scene and gather the DCs but the dream fades and I wake up.

Date: 19 Sept

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: 60 mg caffeine (RB)

Non-ld fragment: I am trying to take a shortcut at night in this familiar from previous dreams city. In one of the dark streets, I run into criminal DCs with very bad teeth. A number of young people sitting on a bench agree to defend me if necessary and I go sit there. I find one of the guys extremely beautiful. We talk for a while, but they are leaving soon. I notice that his whole body is covered with small, shiny clear droplets of water and stare in fascination.

In love: Very deep sleep and my recall is not very good.

We are moving in the dorms because it is much cheaper. There are six beds in the room and a guy who already lives here. I ask if only two of the beds, ours, are going to be used. He confirms.

The dream goes on for quite a while with all kinds of thoughts about clothes, bathroom etc. Then it looks like more people actually live here and we will be sharing the room, now apartment with them. Someone opens the door and lots of DCs come in, new roommates, I think. This girl asks me questions about the admin, I don't understand what she is saying.

Bf is gone and this guy comes and talks to me. I realize that this is a dream but my mind is kind of foggy. I remember having thoughts about me being in deep sleep and that this is good for stability. The guy leaves and another one appears, I like him very much and remark that he shows some persistent DC qualities. He comes and goes several times but looks the same, gray t-shirt, black hair, some eyeliner even, a bit like Mark Terenzi. He also gives me a kiss. We talk for some time but my memory is really bad. The dream starts to fade, I lose my sight but I can still hear him. I tell him to keep talking to me, I will hold on to the sound. I can feel my eyelids and am careful not to mess this up, but soon the image returns. He gives me another kiss. The dream slips away again and I struggle to bring it back. He is on the other side now but looking totally different and there is another guy dressed with the same clothes and holding a similar colorful object. The dream fades and I fall into oblivion.

Falling: I am walking down the stairs talking to this DC. It looks like I have forgotten my handbag, I turn back and see it at the top of the stairs. I make it fly directly to my hands. The DC remarks that I am not supposed to do this while abroad. I have this warp-like feeling and realize that I never woke up from the previous dream. The B6 woman is also here in the background and I wonder if I should go and talk to her, examine her energy, and ask why does she always behave like that. At the same time, I don't want to waste too much time with her and risk things getting out of hand, so decide to just ignore her.

I am looking at a large modern glass vase that they are selling in this now shop and try to move it with tk, but not much success. I also try with an elegant china tea cup but I feel that I don't really want to be breaking these things. Finally, I remember Angel Falls and follow the plan of "here and now". The main idea is to use the turn your back technique. I already hear water running just behind me (like a fountain in a mall). I am in some sort of not very well lit mall too. I take a few steps back, concentrating on changing the surroundings. I actually slip backwards a few steps, which feels kind of weird and not very effective, but the surrounds begin to change a bit. I decide to facilitate the process of getting rid of the old scene and into a new scene by falling backwards.

As I do this, it's as if something immaterial swallows me and I enter void weightlessness combined with motion. I shortly see lots of greenery in front of me that is very similar to rainforest vegetation, but it quickly vanishes. I am speeding backwards in the void with this weird feeling of traveling through space at high speed. For a second my mind is totally blank and I feel stressed, I try to remind myself to keep cool, be patient as it seems to be taking too long and shortly pretend I am meditating. Then I try to concentrate on one of my visualizations and build the scene as I had imagined it. During the entire time of the experience, I hear the sound of falling water. It is much harder to concentrate and visualize than I thought, but I succeed in having lots of water flowing on me in the darkness now. I try to prepare the scene again even though it's not the right place where I actually wanted to start from. I am still flying backwards through space, this thing doesn't stop even if I expect it to. I briefly see the top of a barren hill with a non-human castle in the negative mood of some game or a game related dream. I don't want to be there. The falling continues and I finally find myself in bed. I stay still for a while but nothing happens.

Comments: is it just me or is it really hard to concentrate on anything while in the void. I have noticed this another time as well. The moment everything disappears, my mind also goes totally black and if my mind is blank...then there will be nothing to project around me. Maybe I need to think about stuff, rather than struggle to visualize.

Post 2/2 for 16th of Sept

LD2: this dream/dreams have been going on forever, with lots of scene changes and it has been very hard to recover it.

I am in our old bathroom and the B6 woman is here again. We get into a fight again, I squeeze some shampoo in her eyes.

A lucid scene here I can't remember, I am examining my hands and think how normal and real they look, even though I know it's a dream.

I look out the window of this place where I believe I live and see a familiar city. I have some thoughts that I wasn't able to fulfill my goals because I always get stuck in these rooms and I need to go outdoors to make it work better.

I fly outside, but my flight is kind of bad and I end up in a river/marsh. I am on the surface, then sinking down as I wonder what to do. I give myself instructions about what to think and how to modify the terrain below me and there are some changes, but on the whole it doesn't work as it's supposed to and I continue sinking. All kinds of sensations (including void-like) as I feel submerged yet my head is above the water.

I think this must have ended with the void.

I just remember that am in a car with bf and a blonde woman with short hair. She reminds me of an actress. I turn my back on the road and sit on top of the the woman, facing her, then look around. I notice the color of her clothes, blue and green. Really nice colors and fit her very well. I can also see that now I am wearing the same blue shirt as her. The next moment, the woman offers to do some sexy things on me and after a short thought I find the strength to refuse. I concentrate on the phone task and get a phone from one of them. I press the dial button and listen. Immediately a random guy answers, eager for a conversation. I know he's not the right person, so I tell him wrong number and attempt to hang up but he tries to convince me it is the right number. He also says some funny stuff I can't recall.

I take a moment to think that this dream has been going on for a while and I am already forgetting some parts.

At some point, there is some sort of funny nonsensical text on the phone that now turns to some other object, that I try to memorize and temporary do, but as I try to read it again all the letters change.

I can't remember what happened, but now I am in this place, like a large appartment, with lots of DCs all around, mostly representing people I know. I am still trying to call Xanous, have another phone in my hand and I struggle with the phone book. You could say that my lucidity level drops as all kinds of false memories emerge and I am trying not to show I care in front of the people that know me.

For some reason I believe that I have Xanous' real number, that he has given me his real number. I also see some photos of the blue bedsheets of his kid, some toys and other stuff I can't remember. This is on some sort of TV screen now and I am using a remote control (or is it the phone?) to try to navigate the menu and just get to the number and hide from my friends that I have been given all this info.

I finally get the right number, press the dial key and listen. For a while nobody picks up and then the voice mail turns on and I can hear Xanous' voice. He says something briefly and then there's lots of music and sounds as I nervously wait for what seems like forever to be able to leave a message.

I start a long speech from which I remember the first and last sentences.

"Hey Xanous, I made it, I am calling you from a dream. ....

Do you know how hard it has been to keep this super long dream going, pick up."

My voice changes as I speak. I finally exhaust myself with the speech and end the conversation. I look outside and think that now that I am done calling Xanous, I can move to the next task, Angel Falls. It feels like my determination to make that call has been the key factor holding this dream together for a such an great amount of time and now it slowly begins to fade and I wake up.

Date: 10 Sept

Pre bed: 200 mg valerian

WBTB: 1/2 cappuccino

Dream quality and recall: very deep sleep, vivid but almost zero recall

TST: 7 hrs

Fragment: I didn't write down, something to do with Malaysia

Early mini-ld (+4 hrs): I am in some crazy deep sleep and see the thought of a boy band, very similar to Take That (maybe a video, or a picture in front of me). The moment I see this vision or whatever about them, with extreme speed one of the singers appears in the room in front of me, he is about 5 foot tall and the whole scene is mega bright and vivid. He is also wearing bright yellow clothes. This happens so fast, it jolts me into lucidity. I ignore him and rush to the balcony but feel the whole dream is very crazy - way too weird and dynamically changing. I can feel some strange and interesting dream stuff about to unwind in front of me as I am contemplating my actions on the balcony. I think it is too much for me to handle, so I wake myself up.

Contemplations: I know this dream isn't that unusual but the feeling of it bothered me. It wasn't a bad, negative one, there was even a touch of euphoria but I felt the dream was like a huge wave of energy about to produce extraordinary or distracting events that I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with. That's what happens when you take valerian and have early lds.

WBTB: coffee (26 mg caffeine) and mantras but zero recall after that

Date: 7 Sept

Pre bed: Gingko

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: pre wbtb dreams above average vividness, but very sleepy, also undergoing a sleep schedule readjustment, so below average recall and too lazy to take notes. Post wbtb average vividness to above average, good recall.

WBTB

I tried to wild like the previous days but was feeling uncomfortable and this was taking way too long so just fell asleep.

Dream: I found this dream quite nonsensical/incoherent and with lots of DS, which is why I am including the details. It was getting warm and loud already and I suspect I went into deeper sleep.

This woman wants to take two hair accessories I had in the past from my hair, it hurts. Ok, I will give you both just be patient, I say. She asks if I have dandruff.

A moment later, same place, there is some sort of story about a Japanese girl, a guy and their friend and the girl is upset. She enters the restroom and starts putting shaving cream on her face. There is a narrator saying that after that she went walking around in something like a hospital where everybody saw her with the cream and she lost face. Both the guy and the girl have long hair.

The perspective changes and I am that girl now, looking in the mirror as my face changes (some male asian features long dark hair/to female asian) and the shaving cream turns to a face mask. I do the peel off mask procedure and think about the girl who is now a separate person and want to explain that she didn't need to go over the whole drama with the shaving because it can be used as a peel off mask.

After I take off the mask and throw it away, decide that I want to pee, so try to close the door of this public restroom. Actually there are two doors with lots of locks that don't make sense, but I do my best to close and lock them. As I proceed to do my thing, I notice that my hands are dirty with some food leftovers and before I can do anything else see that the room is now being filled with water - no wait, it's soup. I am wearing my old sleepers from 10 years ago and they are getting soaked. I turn to my left and can't believe this is happening, I can actually see how this soup water is leaking through the walls and immediately come up with an explanation for it. There is a food stall and its kitchen is on the wall just behind the restroom. I wonder if I should inform them about the situation.

Fragment: There is a yard that is covered with snow. Initially it is separated by glass fence, then normal fence. I can see cat footprints in the snow, then as I am staring I slowly realize (i.e. unconsciously summon) there is a dead cat/wild cat under the snow. Now there are two cats. The snow melts and one of them moves, I remark that it is alive and expect to see the other one moving as well. I can see it is breathing.

A woman that owns the yard comes by, she has a large fluffy dog that runs around and there are other animals there as well, a cow or a small horse.

Short DILD: I am on bus station in my home town and realize that I am dreaming. Finally, I say to myself. In my mind the bus goes to school and I want to see my friend. I look around but my friend is not on the station (some dream instability here) and there is a bus about to depart so I hurry and get in. I expect to see my friend there and imagine him being one of the passengers. For a minute I see his face but as I move closer it changes to another guy. There's a group of guys sitting there and they are way too loud. I quickly wonder about that (too much DC independence).

I know this is not going to work, but then I remember I can at least call. I try to spot a phone in the guys' hands. They are busy loudly talking to each other and no phone. I move a few seats back and there is something like a display in another guy's hand. I take it and it turns into my bf's phone, how weird is that! Alright, now I am just going to press any button and start the conversation. I press the dial key and check the screen, it goes dark and into some sort of error mode. I repeat a few more times with the same effect. Oh well, I just take the phone to my ear and say my bf's name. I hear a woman's voice replying as if I just asked to talk to my bf, saying he is just going somewhere. I am not sure if I asked or thought about another question, but she also adds a short yes. I decide to ask about the friend I was looking for in the bus. She replies similarly but in past tense. I briefly wonder if this makes any sense.

The woman then proceeds to ask me why am I asking about my friend since I am supposed to know where he is. She mentions the name of an unknown location where we (his friends) often meet. I feel as if I am talking to real person now and wonder what kind of explanation to give, scanning the surroundings looking for an appropriate answer as the dream fades.

@ Xanous if you are reading this, I still plan to give you a call. Gotta work on prospective memory!

Early fragment: something good about a DV member and lds

Dream: me and parents are living in a street shop that is a house. The place also reminds me of a cheap hotel room. I complain about all of us having to share the toilet. I want to do the laundry before we go out. The neighborhood is very bad too.

Fragment: mom wants to play golf because she can't wait for me on fridays?

Fragment: I am examining a large bullet that has been fired already and wonder if it can be used again. Some guys are after me, I run to the top of the building.

late-WBTB&WILD: As I am falling asleep, I expect to see a scene form in the darkness and think about my hands. I appear on a dark street, make a few movements to properly get in and stabilize and then my body begins to float up. I decide to control the flight and will myself to fly up but reach a certain height maybe about two floors high and the float/flying stops and I slowly go down. I wonder why's that and try again with the intention of going to the roof of the building this time. I float up but the dream ends and I need to get up too.

Date: 2 Sept

Pre bed: lecithin

Suspicious early ld fragment: in a room, lucid and talking to a woman with orange hair.

Fragment: something about my mom and me getting up

Fragment: I am a goat and am looking for Angel Falls. I see a fountain and wonder if I could turn this into AF, but find it's not very convenient.

Fragment: Mom has invited relatives

Random fragment: I remember this strange large somewhat non-human human guy being interested in me, trying to keep me somewhere and romantic stuff going on.

LD: I am in the library part of a university building. They are talking about this dark-skinned guy who had 12 kids, but he is only sixteen. There must be some kind of mistake, I think you are referring to his father, this guy is one of the kids. I become lucid, decide to exist the building. There is still some scenario going in the background, some sort of event maybe. My lip gloss is on the floor and I do some TK on it. I want it to fly directly in my hand but it doesn't so I return it and try again until I am able to pull it properly and it lands in my hand. I go out. This is now a mix of buildings from my past. I shortly lose lucidity, looking for a quiet place to take a break. I then recall I have been TKing around and lucid so change direction. The dream starts to fade away and there's nothing I can do about it.

DEILD: I vaguely recall waking up and DEILDing, with the new scene appearing in front of me. Much like those from scratch lds or wilds, I need to hold on to it so that I can fully integrate.

The first thing that catches my attention is a glass full of water and I grasp it for stability. Almost immediately this DC of unpleasant person pain in the butt appears in front of me as well, she moves like a snake and sticks to me like a blanket. I have no interest in staying here so head for the window. Before I do I think I am going to score a few points so think telekinesis and look for something to move. There is a lipstick near the window so I make it fall. Alright.

This DC is still holding on to me and I take a few moments to consider the situation. I know she is a mirror of my thoughts and feelings but how could I not have them. I look at her face and admit I feel aversion. I try to become indifferent. Not sure if I succeed in doing so or my thoughts simply stop for a moment, but this DC unexpectedly lets go of me and drops to the ground remaining motion and expressionless. I realize that she is just an empty phantom projection. The dream fades.

LD: There is some stuff going on that I can no longer recall. I am thinking/doing something lucid initially, but then non-ld scenario distracts me for a bit. They tell me that this friend of mine had posted something on FB about a video! and my other friend also has something to do with it..I can't remember. I see brief images of my friends and the web. I am on something like a flat rooftop, talking to my friend. Awareness level gradually goes up. I know (more on a subcon that con level) that she is no longer with us so I decide to ask her if she is real. Aware that I might influence her answer, I try not to think about it, yet I know that I want her to confirm to me that she is real. I notice her hair, blonder than my expectations, some thoughts about that. Her features slowly change and she looks a bit different but I still treat her like my friend. I ask her a few more times if she is real, but get no answer. I look around a bit, notice some stuff I can't recall, the dream fades.

LD:In the void, I remember I was supposed to look for Xanous, so in spite of the constant feeling that I am about the wake up any moment, I decide I will do that. I concentrate and appear in a room full of people. Room full of people, I remind myself. It is really hard to remember all these dreams already. The room is quite unstable and I hurry forward, looking around to see if I can recognize him among the DCs, also shouting like crazy "Where is Xanous, tell me how to find him", but DCs don't care much. The shouting helps stabilize the dream though. I reach the end of the room or rooms and go outside and see some part of building construction. I don't like the atmosphere outside, it's also high and I don't feel like flying or exploring out there so decide to go back.

The moment I turn my back it looks like some section of a shopping mall, I see a fast food chain and a magazine shop. I am looking at the two from the outside and they are completely separated by a closed door and wall. I try to phase through some sort of glass and handrail barrier to get in the magazine shop, but it changes so I climb the thing and get into the fast food place instead. I go to the counter and order two burgers or something like that. I find it very amusing that I am doing this, they even give me two receipts. There is a typical McDonalds table and I decide I will phase through it, so accelerate towards it and bam! Nothing. I have the feeling that I was thinking at the back of my mind that it is hard object, so I guess that's why I didn't do it. Keep the eyes open thought comes to my mind. Ok, maybe I just look at it too much. I try again and turn the table over, but catch it midair, it is a long table now but the items on it didn't fall out. I feel weird doing a mess at this place and fix the table and stuff as DCs are staring at me.

Somewhat bored now and feeling a bit sexy (actually needed to pee) I decide I might as well have some fun with this DC and go into some sort of sales talk about it. The DC looks at me distressed. Suddenly, I feel very bad about the whole situation thinking "So, I am here, hopping from dream to dream and what do I do - terrorize DCs." I remain in the dream for just a bit more, staring at her and wondering about who she reminds me of as the dream finally fades.

Date: 31st Aug

Pre bed: 200mg valerian, calcium&magnesium

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Comments: The night started not so well, as our guest was leaving and traveling in the middle of the night. No, we are not vampires.

Early mini-ld fragment (+2hrs): I am in our family friends' building, it is dark at night and I am running from the thought of something like an alien that can't be beaten up. As I go up the stairs, the last floor keeps on changing. I become lucid but still involved with the dream, I try to figure a way out of the situation. Our family friends (she and him) also appear up there and there are some thoughts of realization? about them and talking. She then says something rude to me that I wonder how to post on DV.

I wake up, still holding the memory of the dream in my mind, at that time fully accessible, but I soon fall asleep. I am woken up by our guest's alarm and we all get up, I have a very hard time falling asleep later. I go into unmemorable sleep for hours.

Fragment: I am angry and break a coffee cup

Fragment: I think I was trying to hook to a dream since I recall doing some repetitive movements in the scene and then the dream fading and I briefly acknowledge this in bed.

Pre ld fragment: I am about the witness a heartbreaking family reunion scene

Pre ld dream: We are in the tram/bus and this woman gives us some brochures with specific info about a female criminal. Nobody knows what this is about just me and my friend. Later on, I am in our old place and want to discuss the stuff with possibly my mom. However, before I do that, a classmate of mine gets me alone in another room, insisting to know what's this all about. I tell him I have no idea and get out the room. I see that he has some spy sound amplifying equipment and I go to my room and look for a some paper to write to mom that he is listening to us. He is also lurking behind the door. I grab a notebook and try to hide it from him.

LD: I am on the street in front of our old home and as I look around, realize this is a dream. I decide I would try to speed fly down the street. I take off and fly at high speed, but the street is not quite straight and I initially have difficulty taking a turn and get off track, then do a bit of maneuvering slightly similar to turning while swimming and am fast flying on the street again. It feels great but the only problem now is I move faster than my expectations so it's a bit uncertain what's in front of me. The street changes to facilitate that and now all I can see is trees on both sides moving closer together and I aim to fly straight in the center of all this.

I slow down, pass through the trees and end up facing something like a lake in the middle of an unknown neighborhood. I briefly wonder whether this would count for summon for the competition. There are houses and buildings to the left. I fly over the lake, feeling as if I am running out of fuel and try to land near the houses/buildings. There is a tall wall that separates them from the lake and I am looking for the right spot. I barely make it to the top of the wall with flying near a house that I like. I take a moment to relax and think about my next steps. The place where I have landed is not part of the wall anymore, but is the top of some structure, as if I am sitting on a chimney. I also perceive this thought as the image of the shadow of me on top of this place, right in front of me. The idea that I get rid of my human shape and jump/float ahead comes to mind.

Before I do anything, I take a look around and see that now am standing on an old bridge where there are the remains of large elephant statues in Indian style as part of the structure. They are extremely beautiful, decorations carved in the stone. I look at another one in front of me and see a date 1995, try to memorize it and as I stare at it the 5 changes into 7. I feel it's not a very good idea to keep staring like this as this may destabilize the dream. I remember CL's tech of boosting dream vividness and want to do that and enhance stability as well. I turn around and now there is a small elephant statue in front of me, so I run fingers on its surface and pat the stone a few times.

Right behind the elephant statue is a street that leads to a small plaza with yet another magnificent statue that I am not sure of what but there is an element that looks like wings with bits of gold on the edges/wing waves. There are lots of kids on the street, I notice they are dark skinned, assume they are Indian. A little girl with short hair and present day clothes comes to me and I decide I will engage in a conversation with her and concentrate as much as possible on that and her features (as if rl). She looks at me smiling, one of the happiest DCs I have ever seen. There is something about that little girl which fills me with both joy and sadness and I ask her "Is this where souls live?", she says yes and goes on that I also live here with her and shows me a building (perhaps close to Italian city style) to my right. She says we live together on the first floor. I am not sure I like living on the first floor, but accept this at the moment as I am very curious to see where I live.

The dream ends and I find myself in bed, contemplating whether to try a DEILD but my nose itches plus I am not very sure I want to mess up this memory. Time to wake up...

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

Total sleep time: 5 1/2hrs, external factors, very tired

Early fragment: many iPhones

Early fragment: I am talking to someone about how I'm about to ld

Woken up, WBTB, insomnia

Fragment: some sort of toy head that is spinning in the water

LD fragment: I am in our old place and see lots of people on the stairs, including an older lady who passed away years ago. After seeing her, it dawns on me that it's a dream. I make a sound to acknowledge the fact that I recognize her as a dream sign (also for the first time!). Not sure if I said something or not to her or others there, but I head down the stairs and exit the building. I think about visiting my friend but this time decide to go to his work since it's really close.

I am on the street now, but feel that the dream is starting to destabilize, so take a moment to fix that. I remember the behave as if real life, but can't figure out how to apply this at the moment. Instead, I turn back to where the fence is and start touching the stone, feeling the surface. It doesn't do the trick and I feel I have very little time left so I just observe whatever is in front of me as I see and feel the dream as if made of liquid energy (same image but like underwater) being gently sucked in an unknown direction until it turns to a light feeling in my head and I find myself in bed..

DEILD: I remain still and fall asleep more from being tired than from trying to DEILD. Yet, I end up in an ld that I unfortunately no longer can recall. Not very nice but it happens.

LD: After the previous dream fades, I find myself in darkness, but it's actually a room. It takes a while but then I can see just a bit better to orientate myself, confirm by the feel of it that this is a dream and that I am in our place. I am slightly amazed since I don't get many lds here. I go to the living room and decide I will phase out the window and press myself against it. However, it feels way too solid, I know I can do it and refuse to believe it's not working so push myself forward. Nothing. I become confused, thinking I may actually be sleepwalking around the house. I decide to go out the good old fashioned way - through the door. I am thinking about doing a quick review of the dreams so that I don't forget. A guy appears in front of me, sitting on the couch. He is quite a good mirror of my thoughts and emotions. Initially, he looks menacing, but as I contemplate what to do here and have a moment of sexy thoughts, he immediately becomes more appealing, making gestures with his hands "come here". Then I tell myself to calm down, inhale exhale metaphorically, sit and relax and he stares at me neutrally.

I am thinking something about the previous dream and wonder if I have performed some tricks to enhance this dream's stability. I wonder if I tried to go to bed in the dream as a way to change the scene and since I feel kind of stuck here, I decide that I will try to do that now. As I go to sleep, the guy lies behind me, pretending he is falling asleep too. I fidget way too much, also get a few moments of are my eyes open or closed, and don't try to open them, until I finally succeed to move my physical leg and wake up.

I woke up but couldn't takes notes on time as I involuntarily fell asleep again.