NyxCC

Backlog

A lenghty ld though some parts are completely impossible to recall due chaining, continued sleep and overall dream idleness.

Me and grandma plus some other DC are headed up this building with really weird stairs. It turns out that there is some workshop taking place. My awareness goes up for a moment and I realize this a dream and that I am about to visit a sort self-defence workshop. This sounds pretty cool and I wonder if I would be able to learn something. I get inside but lose lucidity as we are instructed to sit there and watch funny presentations about other people.

My awareness finally goes up and stays that way. I waste a lot of time just walking and looking around, the surroundings change to this partially outdoors quite spacey area. Also, I make a little affirmation that will ld for as long as possible (not going to wake up). There is one very awesome thing that happens by itself. As I am looking around, it seems that it is raining, so while I am gently turning to the side and at that point either time or the water freezes in time /slows significantly. I am able to see each and every single raindrop suspended in the air in a sort of super slow (or suspended) motion and all of these raindrops are little round spheres of water that I can see in detail. It's so unexpected and amazing, I can't believe it. I think I need to take a second to look to the side and contemplate on what I have just seen. I make a big mental note about this.

After some more exploring, I become concerned about me actually having to perform some tasks rather than doing nothing (good point, especially since I recall very little from that part). I remember I wanted to do the Toty drinking contest with Hercules and Dionysus. My ideal representative DC for Hercules would be the Rock, I try to summon him here and there but he doesn't show up. I am disappointed and continue with my general summon idea - guys in ancient type of clothes or topless muscular guys. A number of DCs appear and there is an older man with some ragged clothes that could look like Dionysus after he has been having too much fun. With some more effort, a topless DC with reasonable appearance and muscle comes near Dionysus and it's time for the drinking contest to begin.

I go to the side of this house (in front of which we currently are) and get in the kitchen where there are a number of ancient jugs hopefully full of wine. I take quite a bit of time looking for the one that is large enough and also full, take a very ancient looking one and bring it to the guys. Dionysus drinks a bit of the liquid but he spits it out (I later think how my DCs are always trying to cheat), anyways I take the turn and drink a great deal of this weirdly tasting strong alcohol, even have some worries about dream swallowing waking me up. I manage to keep my concentration but as I pass the jug to Hercules, the dream thins out.

Not really sure if I chained, the scene reappeared etc. It was a similar overall construct to the previous place but the guys and the wine are gone. I give it another try, summoning some more topless muscular guys. A few such DCs appear though with not as much muscle as desired and I mentally try to add more muscle. As these guys are now approaching me, I have a moment of apprehension about them actually turning hostile and what am I going to do in such case, but I manage to calm myself down before this manifests, thinking these guys are fine etc. The scene is pretty difficult to organize this time and I give it up, also being distracted by bf in one of the nearby rooms of the area. I go back to look for him but he is not there anymore. My memory is pretty bad but at some point the dream interrupts again.

While I expect the dream to be over, I am surpised to find myself in the dream again. Somewhat similar overall long open area with transitioning parts. I contemplate whether I should wake myself as not to forget the details so far. But then I am still dreaming, so why wake up. I try to make a review of what has happened so far so I that I don't forget. Ok, what else could I do here, I try to recall some more tasks. The problem is I didn't consider more tasks for today and it is difficult to recall any from DV. Still I am convinced that if I think about it will be able to recall one more from the totys - the nemean lion. I recall the steps.

There is a window separating the area where I am and the outside and as I try to phase through it I end up peel lifting the glass which turns into other light material. I end up in a place like a back yard where I try to summon the lion. Some really cool music shortly plays at this point (and also different music in prior parts of the dream, really good quality), it really fits the mood. I have some doubts about my summon working (it feels like one of those dreams), but tell myself not to give up and try to think about a lion instead of the casual summon technique.

This works and soon a smaller than expected (large dog sized) male lion comes near. He is not too aggressive, but definitely wild. I grab him at the back of his neck (no lifting) and take him along with me, looking for the exibition place. I make mental notes about his size, how convenient the place is. We enter a large hall where it seems the contest will be taking place, though the participangs have not arrived yet. To save time, I summon a cat and take it along as well. It's a really stubborn cat so I have to constantly hold it too. I position the animals on small pillows? for the contestants that have self summoned here.

The referees are here, a DC referee woman takes a look at the cat and a few more cats that have appeared on nearby pillows. She then proceeds to do an examination of my lion, saying something about his paws and posture and in approval finally hands us the price - a roll of paper with the winner certificate. I run out of attention, the dream thins out and I wake up.

I miss the wbtb alarm but end up thinking about lucidity and how nice it would be to have one just after pressing the final snooze.

In the neighborhood where I see a family friend talking about something, then someone calls another DC and we head back home. As I get out of the car I look around, my awareness goes up and I realize this is a dream. I can relate the place I am at to a previous dream (near where I was standing when examining the plates possibly after that) and wonder about my awareness then. After giving it some thought, I become convinced I had a lucid moment at some point in the dreams before. A nearby DC tells me it was indeed a lucid dream. That makes me feel even worse that I wasted a lucid moment and didn't do anything.

"If you have a lucid dream, then do a task rather than just lose lucidity" I think angrily to myself. Ok, time to do that right now. I remember the hole task and hastily put my hand in my pocket, trying to get hold of something. I feel a small round object and concentrate on the floor ahead as I throw it forward. This time (compared to couple of days ago) it produces a nicely sized somewhat transparent dark hole. I stare at it for a bit longer and then cautiously jump in. I end up on the ground laying on my side in shallow waters at approximately the same dream scene. The water has some strange properties - it's in partial existence and feels different. I get up and look around. The snooze wakes me up.

Date: 16 April

Got insomnia prior to wbtb

A very long series about an hour? with 3-4 deilds in between.

Very fragmented recall but lds were vivid and eventful all the way through

Forgotten nld part, then at some point I realize that I am dreaming and remember the shower task. I boldly get into this building with the task in mind. It turns out to be a special monastery with baths for visitors. I enter a large room, beautiful floor covered with pleasant light brown stone and special sections for bathing. Those look very zen, (standing) human sized "shower" area full of water and surrounded with lighter stones and some stones neatly arranged in the water and a large soap bar among the stones. I get in the special place and start soaping and washing myself while looking around. The dream soon ends.

A fragment where I am flying straight ahead for a while (relatively long in dream flying terms) just enjoying it. I recall one of the intro class students was saying that the most awesome part about flying is feeling the wind, so I pay more attention to it and it really feels great.

Involved in a forgotten part of the ld, then I walk around thinking about the similarities of certain drunk states and dreaming. Me and this female DC make a lot of party noise and look at other DCs. Then I remember the jogging task and decide it will be cool if we both made a little race ahead. I get into a position, but suddenly my body feels exhausted as if we already ran a marathon. I grasp for air and notice taking deep breaths, then wonder about breathing in dreaming (it only exists if you think about it).

Anyways, this is all wrong since we need to jog and not sprint, so we will be ok (less fatigue). We start running at a slow pace, paying attention to the environment. It's the center of an unknown town with a lot of food ads. What's funny is that almost the same ads keep reappearing as we go along. One is of large burger resembling big mac and the other of a less appealing exotic sandwich. I make mental notes as I keep jogging. Then I look at couple of stores, read the names of the businesses and try to remember them. After the last store, I slow down to take note of a Chinese place where they have some merchandise displayed, but it seems to have stayed here for quite a while. Dusty bamboo baskets and similar bamboo and wood items.

Right in front of it is another store, which looks very inviting, so I decide to enter inside. It's full of different statues made of metal, gems, all in Asian style. I have a look at as many of these as possible, even receiving false memories from some statues. End of memory

In a room with bf and a DC that closely resembles Benedict Cumberbatch. This was a long experience and conversation but I don't remember much. Cumberbatch is extremely life like DC, seems to have his own ideas and I understand everything he says (no gibberish). I ask if bf will remember this dream, he answers that possibly no, because the dreaming body can actually roam around and gather experiences without our knowledge.

I feel very uplifted in his presence and even think I have found a persistent character - two weeks ago a similar DC appeared in the dream with the Mexican miners.

But what strikes me the most is the realness of the experience. He has his sleeves rolled? so I can see he has a number of tattoos (I even try to recognize/memorise them initially), but what's most interesting are the tactile sensations. As I run my hand over his I feel the texture of his skin, perfect in terms of texture sensation and I notice that his tattoos are actually fake. Around each tattoo is a little rectangle that reveals they like those tattoo stickers for kids. The difference between the tattoo and the normal skin can be distinctly felt, which I find an amazing piece of dream detail.

At some point the dream fades but I manage to deild back.

I find myself in a store where this constantly shape shifting DC gives me a ring but tells me he is married already. Then he gives me another set of wedding rings with hearts and also shifts to a classmate. I wonder whether there is any truth in his statements and also how entertaining being part of this dream scenario is. Memory gap.

Fragments: Back with Cumberbatch at another dream scene for a short while. The place then transitions to an outdoors part, where I watch a number of DCs flying up in the air. Later, I decide to jog around a bit more but don't get very far this time.

Backlog: 5 March

Average wakefulness, I do my best to fall asleep. I get some very strong and bright visuals with a fast transition into the same room. It gives the inital impression of seeing through closed eyes. I examine my hands for a while, then get up and go to the other room. The dream ends.

I wake up, then have a couple more wildlets I can't recall.

A more coherent scene, now it looks like the dream leaves me somewhere outside on an unknown road. I pass by a small gingko tree and end up in a forest area where I address the dream and express my happiness about being here.

My mental clarity improves and I recall the task I wanted to do today - walk in a house and describe what's happening. There is a lonely tall house in the midst of all the trees and I head in its direction. It has no windows just a single old door that I try to open but cannot figure the direction. It's supposed to be pushed but there is resistance, so I decide to pull instead. It doesn't work because it is stuck. I think about our recent conversation with bemistaken how she would phase through the door, but I don't want a drastic scene change at the moment. I hold tightly the door and pull it. It looks like a door, but at the same time now also looks and peels like a large piece of wallpaper.

And surprise, surprise it reveals just another door. Ah, the typical dream bug! I briefly wonder about the feedback loop causing this and try again. I peel another door to reveal yet another door behind it. Oh, come on! I am not thinking so much about this. Got to concentrate on expecting what is behind the door, yes, it is opening to show the inside of the house. I punch a hole in the now somewhat solid door and pull/peel it to finally reveal the entrace. Yay! No more doors! I get inside. To my disappointment, it's an unpleasant looking place. A completely empty place with creepy stairs going down to the basement and up to the next floor. I start going up the stairs when the scenario worsens and see a kid rush towards the only small window in the place. It appears to be running away from something and I don't want to find out what that is. I decide this is enough for basic and head towards the window. I soon wake up.

I deild (3 more scene changes), having some fun after running out of tasks to do.

Backlog: 28 Feb

On the whole had a very restless night, trouble falling asleep, followed by emotional nlds. Later got woken up and ended with insomnia.

My wakefulness increases to daily levels and I am ready to get up, seeing no point in being in bed anymore. Yet, I know how groggy I will feel later on so have one last effort to catch some sleep. I try the classical wild plus relaxation tips with the sole purpose of falling asleep at this point. There is a specific pleasant sensation in my stomach. I try not to move but have to change positions several times due slight discomfort.

Finally, a bright scene flashes in front of my eyes so I know sleep is near. I even concentrate and make another one appear, whilst still having awareness of my physical body. It's like being in two places at once. The scene is fanstastic. I find myself flying high above the sea and green lands. The water looks fantastic. I can feel my dream body flying while being in bed and as it floats and is about to flip over the scenery.

The sensation is cool but difficult to maintain and input from my physical body takes over and I find myself back.

I continue to do my best to fall asleep. I find myself in another dream looking at a mirror. I am happy to ascertain that I have made it to the dream. "I'm in", I tell myself out loud while looking at my reflection in the mirror. My reflection doesn't quite move in synch with my words so I make some efforts to synch, but not to much avail. Then I notice my breath and just feel the need to breathe as if I am having some difficulty doing so. I spend some more time breathing in and out and watching my reflection as the dream interrupts and I find myself in bed.

Asleep, some short nld part, then another dream scene on the playground.

On the playground, which bears resemblance to this real life place before it morphs. I climb onto a playground structure and look around. There are a number of DCs as well as dogs mostly immobile at this point. I slowly move my gaze from one DC to another and then from one dog to another examining them. Everytime I do so, they turn and pay attention to me to. It's like I can feel my attention as a gust of wind animating and being reflected in each DC. This is quite cool. At this moment, I also notice that there is a warmish wind that also connects all of us and is gently blowing from direction or another. It feels really pleasant.

I try to remember any tasks and recall the basic for March - find a house and get inside. I look over to the street and see an old entrance door to this building. It looks far away but I decide to give it a try despite having some doubts about dream stability at this point (due feeling). To reach it, I have to first get down from the playground thing I am on. I jump and try to slow down my fall not to cause extra instability. It works somewhat but also rotates my vision introducing slight instability. At this point a classmate comes down to help me, looking rather concerned. Her face is reddish on some places as if from mild sunburn.

I look ahead to where the street is, where I need to cross to get to the entrance gate. The place morphs and now I find myself on an elevated fence looking over the street, but the edge of the fence is out of reach due to there being trees in front and also lots of thorny shrubs. This infuriates me and I decide to cut straight through everything. I find myself in the midst of all the shrubs piercing me and causing overall pain as the twigs are everywhere. This looks super realistic and I take a moment to examine myself. It just doesn't feel right me pushing through all of this vegetation at all costs, seeing an old cardigan of mine being torn in the process and all this pain. I conclude it's against my philosophy and decide to take the side road to reach my goal.

I gently move away from the thorns that block the way and turn to the other side, which has once again changed and is now a nicely looking forest. It's a dark green vivid color and the trees are close together as not to allow any sunlight through. I notice some interesting looking plants to the side and wonder whether to investigate. Still having my goal to find an alternative road to the house though, I look around the forest. "I almost lost myself in a forest in a dream", I think. The forest now reveals an invitingly looking path that stretches all the way ahead. I examine it with curiosity and excitement, trying to see what is at the very end - looks like a castle very far away. At this point I recall CL and how it could be a good moment to zoom in right over there, but before I could do anything, the dream ends.

I stay still and deild.

Find myself inside a house and a store at the same time. There is some political scenario going on and posters on the counter in front of me. The lady DC behind the counter is unhappy with the actions of the local supermarket.

While walking around I try to recall some of the totm tasks. I wonder if having ended up in a house now would count for the basic but I discard the idea and struggle to remember other tasks. After some effort, the mirror task finally comes to mind. Ok, need to find a mirror, didn't I just pass one by? I go back to where I was a moment ago and face a man-sized mirror. It changes from being clear to being covered in vapour just like it would in the bathroom (first time this happens in a dream, probably because I am trying to do a task!). This irritates me, but I go ahead and wipe it up a bit to at least see my face clearly.

Then I stand in front of it and slowly prepare to move inside. Being a bit apprehensive due to wall phasing experiences ending up in the void, I keep my eyes open and keep staring at its surface as I take a plunge in. The moment I do so, the mirror swallows me letting out a loud underwater like sound "Blop". It's pure liquid and shows no resistance. I quickly emerge on the other side, looking around to see where it has taken me. It's overly dark but I can make out the contours of objects around me and they become clearer to finally reveal that I am in a pantry sized room. It looks exactly like a pantry with shelves and all sorts of objects being stored around. I make a mental note of it, soon the dream fades.

Backlog: 26 Feb

I struggle to do a wbtb, stay up around 25 mins but sleepy and fall back to sleep immediately, wake up like 1/2 hr later with no lds.

Bathroom and back to bed, focus on having an ld by holding my gaze fixed ahead behind my closed eyelids. This seems to do the trick and I appear in a new scene immediately as sleepy as I am. It's mid day in the center of an unknown European looking city. I make some movements to adjust in my dream body. There is something like a scarf obstructing my vision and I struggle to take it off. I wonder if I don't pay any attention to it if it will disappear. The DC right ahead also has a scarf and is trying to show me how to take off mine. I finally swipe it to the side like a flock of hair and pay it no more attention.

I look around thinking what task to undertake, remember three, discount the next totm although it is also possible to do here and decide to go for Percy's dare: center of the Earth. I enter a building and head down the side stairs which should lead towards the basement and ultimately the center of Earth. On my way down, the stairs transform and become much wider and made of fancy stones. Like large flat stones in a hexagonal shape. It should be dark but the walls and the stones are lit by some inner blueish light like an inside moon, which makes them even more interesting. Behind me, I briefly see that one of the DCs from the street has turned into The Thing from the fantastic four and is following me. He seems more like a companion than a menace and I'm glad he is coming with me just in case there is something else down there. I continue down the path but the dreams suddenly ends. I try a deild and briefly see a cloudy scene that looks like a continuation from what's ahead but I lack enough focus to hold on to it and fully wake up.

Backlog: 18 Feb

Yet another time where I couldn't make myself do a wbtb. Went to bathroom and took some lecithin in the least.

Slight alertness and not immediately falling asleep, but not quite a wbtb.

Fragmented recall:

At some very low level of lucidity, I see these DCs walking backwards, in a way I am playing the forward and backward in time by thinking about it, it's kind of subconscious (but I can relate my attention to that). Then, I decide I want to control back my own movements and go in the middle of the street to jump back and in time. My back jump doesn't quite follow the right trajectory so I jump forward and try to reverse the movement. Some cars are coming but I know it's ok.

Other stuff happens and get distracted and lose my lucidity. I then have major issues with gravity, in the meantime my awareness goes up. It's super strange it's like I am weightless, floating up and can't stop the movement, so have to hold on to a street pole. For a while, I am like a balloon going up no mass whatsoever. I get lost in thoughts about posting about gravity in lucid dreams and that I am having this weightless problem. Thinking seems to distract me from the issue and I acquire normal weight and am back at street level.

It's a nice day in some foreign looking town. I remember the candy store task, but at the same time feel that am running out of time. There is a street store with an indoor as well as outdoor section just ahead so I hurry towards it. The outside section has all sorts of nice sweet stuff like sweet rolls, mini panettone, etc. The indoors section sells more candy-like things. There's a DC working there and I tell her to quickly give me the strangest candy and she hands me a pack full of roasted coffee beans with sugar. Not exactly what I was hoping for, I make a mental note and wonder about the taste. Just about to consume them when I wake up.

A time travelling dream scenario with semi random elements. I see my friends as their younger selves and pay attention to one of them. His present self now appears in front of me and I tell him what I saw.

Fragments. Awareness gradually goes up as I discuss another time related change of personal in this cafe ahead. What's notable is I see myself in the mirror as a completely different person.

Can't remember more details but as my awareness gradually increases I detach myself from the situation and just continue walking around with no goal in mind. I end up in some sort of underground/tunnels that look a bit game like (think dwarf city, castles). The tunnels are averagely lit. My eyes tell me I've taken the wrong fork but I become more confident continuing ahead. I feel I am losing lucidity so just for the fun of it, decide to self assert and shout out loud that my body is asleep at this moment. I continue down the tunnel.

Slight apprehension as I feel something coming - just round the corner is a DC with two weird looking creatures much like wyverns. I pass right between them, they pay no attention to me. At some point in the tunnels I remember the candy store task again. Right ahead is a closed retro door and I think: "Why not, a candy store could be just behind it, think about this purposely and go ahead". I am happily surprised to find that the room indeed turns out to be a magically looking candy store. It has lots of colorful items, gemstones and candy, looks very fairy talish. No DC is working here, so I just grab the nearest weird looking small glass bottle full of gem-like looking candy.

Cute little aquamarine opaque pieces of this gem candy mixed with some sesame/flax seeds. I quickly pour them down my mouth making sure to empty the whole little bottle (meanwhile wondering did we have to consume the whole thing, remembering the bottle of wine task). I feel relieved at this point that I am able to properly chew them, taste them and not wake up. They taste really nice, like a caramelised sesame bar. I enjoy the moment a bit longer before the alarm wakes me up.

Think there was other cool stuff but can't recall.

Had a long non-ld moment where I put together something like a form/report. Making a note of this because at the time of wake I could remember most of it. It was like 1.5 pages long, a coherent text that my dreaming self spent carefully writing down with a pen word by word and not a single thing was illegible or illogical.

Wbtb: I drag myself out of bed, drink a bit of latte (40?mg) and take lecitin, go straight back to bed trying to cut corners on staying awake. There is like zero effect on increasing my wakefulness but feeling guilty to be skipping my wbtb I keep waking up (yet still feel drowsy). I spend the remaining sleep time in a NREM limbo, a mix of deep sleep, HI and constant wakes.

There is a brief scene where I realize that am already in and start walking around but I either lose lucidity or wake up shortly after.

Keep turning and tossing annoyed that I just don't have the right wakefulness as I didn't do my wbtb. I repeat my goals and try to concentrate on my body.

I find myself staring at some screen ascertaining that I am in the dream. Everything is very unstable at this point so I just keep swiping the screen in front of me, pretending to be involved in the dream for a few seconds. When I feel I'm ready, I move to the side, which reveals that I am in my old room again. This is a bit annoying as I wanted to do the valentine card task, so I head towards the window. There is some furniture, slightly in the wrong place blocking the way. I close the cupboard door that blocks the way but it doesn't fully close and click and keeps opening. I just don't want to spend more time dealing with it, so I sneak forward while holding it then let it go. I go towards the balcony door which is closed and I try to open it via handle but it gets stuck. I decide to pull and it opens nevertheless. The action of opening this locked door produces a weird physical somewhat painful sensation in my body of resistance and as if the object is actually touching me (bearing some resemblance to phasing sensations).

I go outside and look around. I see the flowers and wonder could I be really dreaming? It looks very realistic and close to memory but is it possible that I still live here? Initially there are no DCs in sight which pisses me off due to the task I had in mind. I have to jump again but am almost certain that a quick jump or even a slow climb down can mess with stability at this point (due to quick change of perspective and reduction in tactile sensations). I look down and see one of the two sisters. She looks nasty as usual. I recall some contemplations about dealing with people from real life in dreams and decide to be honest with her. "Hey, you know what? You are really annoying"

After that I have no more desire to talk to her and contemplate going back inside to look for people within a reaching distance (I also wonder if I should just summon one here). The dream thins out.

I do a quick review, pissed off that I couldn't find any people, then continue with my limbo sleep.

After the nth turning and tossing, I find myself in another dream. It's a bright day and I am on a very distorted version of my old street. I immediately recognize it's a dream (awareness, no trigger). There is a middle aged woman with colorful knitted clothes and I remember the valentine card task. Very aggressively and without saying anything, I expect her to produce a card for me. She holds a number of items like banknotes, little pieces of paper, etc, that I browse but nothing looks like a V-card. Disappointed, I leave her and go down the street where I see bf and one of our friends. They look invitingly at me and I quickly go to where they are and ask bf if he has a V card for me. Alas, he coldly cuts me off "No." I think about how my expectations could have influenced his answer.

Bf and the other guy continue down the street. I catch up and try again "Are you sure you don't have a V card for me? I clearly remember you were carrying one!" This seems to do the trick and he hands me the V card. I examine it to see it has a number of Chinese characters on top and some almost normal words below them. There are a few love related words that are arranged like a short poem. As I try to read the words keep changing. I even hold the card from a distance to see if this would make a difference. I remember our brain actually doesn't need to read the entire word to make out the meaning.

Bf is still here and I say to him while wondering if he could possibly be dreaming too. "The words keep changing, see? Do you know why that is? It is because it's a dream."

I wake up.

Almost skipped wbtb, but woke up had around 80 mg caffeine double espresso, 500mg lecithin and spent some time reviewing the goals but not too much.

I feel some pressure in the bladder and make a note that preferably need to go before lds start. I'm in the process of falling asleep and I begin to see this picture more clearly, it's useless as a scene (drawn face open mouth), but just concentrate on it to focus, it begins to move inside like a tunnel. Scene change ethereal layer, running backwards, then new scene.

Finally, a bed scene, very realistic and with full body, got integrated in the body really fast, ready to move, carefully get up from bed. Move around a bit. My old room, head towards the balcony. Old doors, closed but not locked, open them. I go outside, it's magical. The sun is shining, the sky is clear blue, very vivid colors. I can feel the warmth of the sunshine and also hear a happy song coming from far away. The change in colors and light from the darkness in bed the moment before is impressive. I can also feel a very pleasant breeze and notice the plants to my side and remember one of my goals to interact with them. The dream thins out and I wake up.

I pay a short visit to the bathroom and review the dream.

Soon after I fall asleep, find myself back into our old place again. This time I face a dark room but decide to go inside. There is a sofa right in front of me and I roll it over, thinking super strength it becomes very light. Beneath it another sofa covered with clothes. I recall my clean up goal (try to bring order into ld, see what happens) and start throwing clothes to the sides, cleaning up the sofa of objects. Some more appear but I am almost done, finally I sweep the last clothes to the side and just observe if anything will happen (but with blank mind). The dream thins out.

I find myself in the living room of the same place, parents here walking around, we talked about something (rather made some comments). Everything is super vivid, bright and colorful again although the definition of objects not as good, rather blurry. I walk around the room and look at as many objects and furniture as possible, noting how orderly this room is. Everything seems at the right place and the furniture is more or less the same. The only objects not quite from this room originally are a buddhist medallion and a large chunk of amethyst crystal on the floor. I tk it up and dad catches it.

I recall the storm task and head towards the balcony. I'm thinking, ok, how am going to change the weather which is bright and sunny as can be perceived inside the room to bad weather. By the time I reach the window, the sky is fully covered in clouds and it's already raining. Well, that's quite convenient and I take a moment to think how my thought manifested so quickly. The only thing I need right now is some wind and I want to add a few tornadoes too. I stare at the horizon which brings the memory of many storms and alien invasion dreams and this facilitates the creation of more stormy conditions. I tell dad to help me with this, more as an act of self assurance, then twist the clouds a bit till I form a tornado and another one just next to it. I look to the side and see a huge one has appeared very close to where we are now. I think briefly about this, then the dream fades.

I find myself back in my old room, thinking that I've been having all my dreams in our old place today. Mom and dad are still here too, they come and start hugging me while I'm watching our reflection in the window. I remember the candy store task and decide it's time to leave the building, heading over the balcony. Mom is overly concerned about this but I go ahead and stretch/climb down and then jump the last part of the distance. Some slight instability but the dream is still here. I walk around and move my eyes from object to object trying to simulate and stimulate REM as I feel the dream slipping away. I think about where I am headed, my instinct is to go to where there are some stores down the street, though that feels too far for me to make it. I wonder if just turning right the other corner wouldn't be a better idea. Still decide for the original stores. All this contemplation leads to the place changing and something that looks like a street pops up where there isn't one, I examine it to see if there are any stores but it's more like residential buildings.

I continue down the street where there are some scary looking guys with guns. There is another group fighting them, later the two groups mix. The whole street changes and while I'm trying to evade them I lose lucidity.

Wake. Review.

Other dreams I can't recall. Short ld moment where I watch my reflection this time in a tv. I make myself float up in the air and then plank while floating. My reflection does the same, perhaps even better than me. I'm excited because I realize that I am also manipulating my reflection's movements.

Date: 03 Jan

Late bed and ealy wake, no time to wbtb

I find myself in a large room, looks like a mix between a shop and a bar. My awareness gradually goes up and I know I'm dreaming. I recall the task with the crystal ball and head over to the guy behind the counter. There are a few crystal balls that look like empty snow globes, but they are in the distance so I have to walk around a labyrinth of counters. I tell the DC working there to bring me the crystal ball, so that I don't have to maneuver myself all the way there. He is very uncooperative and refuses to do so. By the time I reach the counter those particular crystal balls pop out of existence.

The dream becomes very dynamic, I almost lose all lucidity while some DCs next to me fight over which cakes they want to eat. There are a number of delicious cakes everyone wants to try. I get hold of one very tasty and start eating with my hands. I contemplate on that and my awareness goes up again, after all it's a dream, so I'm free to eat any way I want. I remember the crystall ball task again, this time the (same?) DC leaves a large crystal sphere next to me and I examine it. It's a very beautiful crystal ball with no stand, and little lines and cracks in star-like shapes can be seen inside. I make a mental note about those, then proceed to see the future. I look inside but it doesn't show anything, just becomes a little blurry. I decide to cover it with my hands, concentrate and then reveal it again.

On and beyond the blurry surface, some objects become slightly more visible. I am still unable to fully understand what exactly it is showing but now it's almost as good as becoming part of another scene, while still being here in the bar/shop. Finally, I see a number of objects neatly arranged, like they are put on sale, on a sunny bright day on the street. Pretty much what I make out of the scene is that it shows some kind of a street stand with souvenirs or so. The zooming in almost transports me to the scene, but not quite. I interrupt the action and stop to contemplate on it for a while and review the task.

Frag: Another later part of the dream/other dream where I once again think about completing the task and not doing a wbtb, and about using this techique as a teleport.

Also, looking at my image in a mirror, dream ends soon after.

So, I was having some difficulty falling asleep and decided to try out the method*. At first, I was trying to make random semi-meaningful sentences and phrases "They came for the food; People sitting on road, etc.", then switched to more meaningless stuff and finally went on to random generation of a set of any three words, sometimes with a slight association between the words "hobby batman train", "milk bread wall".

One of the early effects while trying to generate these words was that I started having mini memory flashbacks of real scenes from the past. This sometimes happens to me when reaching a clear but conscious state of mind and the memories are real ones rather than imaginary.

As I continued with the exercise, a number of past dream memories, again real ones started mixing with the life flashbacks. These weren't very vivid and would last a second or so as I was fully concentrating on the word exercise.

I was getting somewhat tired of continuously generating random words and also my awareness was beginning to slip away. At this point, I noticed the emergence of other random scene flashes, but those contained novel or rather different (not real dream or life memories). This is not new to me as I had on other occasions observed that the more towards unconsciousness I would drift, the more of these different scenes I get, while when my mind is fully aware and quiet it tends to get more real memory flashbacks. No idea what this is all about.

Anyways, the interesting part was that as I was struggling to generate a new set of words, I would begin to get a random flashback scene before each word (now a mix of true past places and some unknown random places), and my mind would actually scan the scene for an object or action and use it in the word set! And this would go on for every word or sometimes two words would come from the same scene. It a was really cool realization when it happened the first time, then I let the process continue. I wasn't fully asleep at this point and took a step back towards wakefulness to review the process. Then continued a bit more with the word generation, eventually got tired and stopped and fell asleep.

Looking forward to playing with this again!

*Tnx to Xanous, Jeff and CL for the ideas and links.

Date: 11 Nov

A great deal of strong vivid dreams (alas no notes for all taken or reviewed)

Nld frag: Some sort of cool TK practice and one of the DCs asks me how I have achieved such proficiency. My reply - I have practiced this a lot in dreams.

Mini wbtb: dreams were cool, so I had the desire to just sleep but forced myself to repeat a few mantras and reviewed the tasks.

LD: At our old home with mom in the corridor. There are little bugs that mutate into flies and we try to hunt them. After a while I leave the place and am in an unknown location with Chinese mint candy that is the cause of all the bugs. Once I open it, a little bug comes out and runs away to mutate.

There's a Chinese guy sitting next to another DC and I go to him to explain what happened before that.

Memory gap and scene transformation. I'm in what's supposed to be a dream version of a slightly familiar neighborhood. I greet a number of praying people, while flying around the corner. I continue on my way in this now nicely looking neighborhood, my awareness is gradually increasing to lucidity as I continue gently flying forward and up and down. I recall a recent conversation about flying and think about that for a moment.

Then I remember the totm about finding a pile of leaves and jumping in it and look around. There is a beatiful blossoming purple magnolia tree and lots of petals on the ground. Could that do? No, wait! It's supposed to be fall right now, but oh the tree looks great and a version with petal jumping would have been awesome too. I decide to scan the area for any proper for the season vegetation and see some leaves on the ground and a few piles of them. As I approach one of the piles, it diminishes in size, so I turn to another pile that is neatly gathered in a wooden crate.

At this point, I begin to feel the dream thinning so rush forward and jump into the crate. I fall inside with the leaves and the dream nastily generates a number of metal pieces where I hurt myself. I find myself in a fallen semi seated position thinking about all this. This has been one of the very realistic experiences where you actually jump, fall and hurt yourself. It feels very physical, with great proximity to real life sensations and aching feedback from all body parts and your position. The pain is more towards dull, but equally realistic. In this moment, I hope that the amount of sensory information would help stabilize the dream as is often the case, but the dream comes to its natural end.

I'm happy about totm, but feel sleepy and do a rather quick mental review.

Date: 30 Oct

I woke up before my scheduled wbtb and had heavy insomnia. Used it as an unavoidable wbtb and concentrated on ld thoughts in the midst of all other unnecessary for this time of the night thoughts. I was super tired and my recall is rather bad.

As I am in bed, waiting for sleep, I get a few strong flash dream scenes that look promisingly engaging but those interrupt. I am very tired at this point to follow any transitions and just want to sleep.

A brief fragment where I emerge on a balcony fully entering the scene. There is an inviting flat roof nearby and I want to cross over, but it's far away. I lean forward and move in its direction and the distance shortens which enables me to do it. Memory about this happening a lot in nlds (yes). I also notice that I automatically continue walking on all fours, something which I recall also happens during nlds.

Memory gap.

A nld in some place that feels like ours. An uninvited guest makes an appearance and I wonder about that. Could it be a dream? It'd better be. I abandon the whole situation and spend some mostly unmemorable time walking around the place, just going from room to room, opening doors, etc. This helps me acquire a bit of clarity of mind and to hold the dream at the same time.

Bf is also here and after a while of room wandering, I stop and face his DC. I have a brief moment of conscious thought about doing anything with him. We start kissing but then I recall I really wanted to do the pumpkin task. The bathroom is right ahead and I go there picturing a pumpkin, which I see just below a chair or a crate of some sort. Initially it is a normal pumpkin, but then it turns into one made of paper. I rip open the top and peek to see what's inside - a number of halloween chocolate treats in different colors. I feel satisfied with the task, make a mental note and walk back to the other room. (Without trying any). Then I come back to make sure I got the details right, the treats are still there.

I think the dream must have ended soon after that, it seems I went into much deeper sleep that messed up my recall.

No supps

DILD: The (forgotten) storyline continues and I plan to be back to this? place and hire a floating bed to do so. It's a beach environment though it later flows into a more canyon like place. I look at the guy to let him know I'm taking one of his beds also expecting to pay but he ignores me, decide for a really small one and then start to maneuver in the water. The place changes a bit, but I kind of assume to have just passed the desired location while I keep trying to navigate on the mini wooden bed as large waves hit me and take me deeper into the sea. I manage to move more towards the coast where it changes to a canyon like place. The colors are really bright and pleasant during the entire time and now it's like a canyon during an autumn afternoon.

My awareness goes up and I recall the bonus task: create a new song on an instrument that doesn't exist in waking life. I have some doubts about how exactly am about to proceed as I haven't really considered this during the day. At this moment two butterflies appear in front of me and I briefly fix them one next to each other thinking this will make for a perfect instrument. Now the only thing that's left is for me to start playing. After moving the glued double butterfly instrument around a bit (I think at this point it started making the drumming sound), I take the two butterflies apart and holding one in each hand, I start producing the song by methodically tapping with them the corners of an invisible frame. This results in perfect drumming sounds. I repeat this movement until the beat and melody is solidified in my mind and then allow for further beat variation. Happy to have completed the task I briefly think about the experience.

This seemed like the end of a long REM with nlds before that and at this point the dream dissolves, but I manage to switch to a different scene or deild?

It looks like I'm in a nicely furnished house located somewhere in the woods . I find myself in the kitchen and at that moment feel how the dream is slipping away. Can't quite come up with what to do here to be more active and engaged but I have the feeling and strong urge to throw a small nearby bottle against the wall. The (tabasco like) bottle breaks in pieces as it hits the wall and this weirdly enough provides me with a sense of stability. I turn around and see a larger jar of what looks like passata and casually drop it to the floor to watch how the glass breaks and the passata starts leaking out. I'm amazed with the accuracy of physics as this happens.

Nearby are a number of beautiful wooden drawers and I have a quick look to find some jewelry inside. It's pretty awesome but for some reason doesn't capture more interest from my side, so I close the drawer, looking around for something else. I go towards a darker corridor which coincides with another feel of the dream thinning. I decide not to go as far but stop midway in front of a beautiful wooden wardrobe.

This reminds me of another exploratory task and I decide to check what's inside. There are lots of clothes that give me the initial impression they belong to my mom. I browse through the clothes hoping to find something cool, but the one-many effects gets on them. Basically, most clothes start having the same blue purple colors and I am displeased at this lack of variety. I decide to give it another try by allowing the clothes to change when I close the wardrobe. I wait for a bit, trying not to think of the previous look of the clothes (which I do, but wait a bit more) and then open the wardrobe again. The result is a different set of clothes. There is a really cute pink shirt that seems my size. Though my intention was to simply browse through the clothes and see what my mind comes up with, I now have the desire to try this shirt and see how I look.

In the meantime, my thoughts about the clothes belonging to mom seem to have summoned her and now her DC is here making comments about the clothes. I can't quite recall our exact words, but I decide to play along telling her some confirmation about what she was asking about and find this utterly funny as I know it's just a dream and my comment is completely false. I continue with my dressing but first I have to undress. There is a mirror just to the side of the wardrobe where I see that I am wearing pink trousers that would nicely fit the highly desired dream shirt. And funnily, I don't realize as I am undressing myself that I am actually already wearing a pink shirt! The shirt gets stuck on my wrist where it's a bit tight and the dream soon ends.