obfusc8

17/1/2016 (sat)

It's a long post... recall overload even before I get to the 3 lucids...

Before 6am
Fragment
-Crazy guy who had tried to shave off his beard... and missed the bit on the end. It was growing out sideways from the side of his mouth. He was very angry and shouting at everyone else.

ND "Spider Nest"
I 'woke up' and found my head had been covered in thick white spiders webs, while asleep. Sitting up I start pulling all the webbing off my face and off my hair. It is sticking to my fingers, so I wipe it on the carpet next to the bed. The web is covered in tiny white spiders, a whole nest of them scurrying around on the floor. Grabbing a heavy book from the night stand I drop it onto the nest, squishing them all.

From here, kneeling on the floor, I spot something else weird: Under the bed are a whole collection of cameras. They don't seem to be switched on though. The bedside light isn't working. In the gloom though it's clear there is someone else in the bed. A woman.

On the pillow is another tall light with a lampshade made from a fabric veil. I try to remove the veil and switch the light on, but it doesn't seem to work either.

ND "Size Nines"
With BB and two other guys. A police officer tries to arrest us but he is acting very un-cop like. He threatens us. I glance at BB and his face betrays nothing, but I can tell, just a twinkle in his eyes maybe, that he has a plan. BB acts calm and goes along with the arrest, so I fall in line too.

The officer doesn't have enough handcuffs for all of us so we walk behind him. We head down a corridor in some kind of leisure centre or pool. The officer stops and measures the other unknown guy's feet, asking which of us has size nines. I stay quiet. The officer doesn't measure my feet and we head off again down the corridor.

As we walk past a set of double doors, the third guy ducks inside them. I momentarily consider following him, but decide to remain with BB instead.

Ahead in the corridor are a group of people trying to move a large metal box. The officer stops to help them, so we join in as well.

ND "Imperial Guard Fight for Jesus!"
My Dad has written a quote on the back of a book. It was something about the truth... it sounded good, but I can't remember it. Probably didn't make real sense anyway.

So apparently Dad is now really into Warhammer 40K and has started Space Marines... because of Egyptology? He has started making a model board that looks like an abandoned warehouse with Egyptian hieroglyphs on it. Behind me he shows off his newest piece of work: A model pen filled with tiny dinosaurs. The models are moving and roaring, it is incredible.

Dad then starts telling me that he chose Space Marines because they fight against Jesus. Er, what?
"Not like those Imperials! They fight for Jesus!"
I can't help but laugh because it sounds crazy.
"No," Dad continues "I chose Space Marines because then you get a beast army too." He indicates the dinosaurs.
"Er, don't you mean Tau..." I reply, remembering that in Dawn of War the Tau got Kroot units which look a bit like dinosaurs.
Dad is insistent about the Space Marines. He shows me a screen with small animated pictures on.

The dream changes and I'm driving a car. Some idiot in a minivan tries to overtake in the outside lane while we are queueing for a set of lights. I see a gap and move into it, which pisses the minivan driver off even more.

Leaving the vehicle I walk inside a pub. A group of people are playing cards. One of them is JA from work. Also, they are pretending to be part of the Sons of Anarchy: Most of them are wearing leather cuts. They start to sort out drinks for everyone.

One guy who I don't recognise comes over and we hug as brothers. He warns me that he is getting his friend out of this life. He glances over to another table where a 20ish year old guy is sitting looking nervous. "We're getting out. He's mine."
"Yeah, fine, whatever. Do what you like."
He seems surprised by my response. I don't care and head outside. There are tables filled with patrons and the road still busy next to it. I have a false memory of leaving my dog out here and whistle.
"Juicy! Juicy!" ...apparently the dog is called Juice, after the SOA character.
A small wiry terrier runs over and I squat down to scratch the dog behind the ears and greet him. Juice then starts to follow me as we start to walk back to the car.

6.30-7.10am
Long LD 339 "Phoenix"
I am driving like a total maniac. It's all right, because this is a dream, so no one will get hurt. I nearly hit the kerb, then take a junction without stopping. The road layout is weird, or I'm going the wrong way down a slip road... and almost end up driving into a tree lined verge. Well this is silly... why am I just driving stupid? I should really just become lucid and do something productive with this dream.

So I acknowledge the fact this is a dream and attempt to stop the car. It has other ideas. The car fishtails across the road and collides with a tree, despite me fighting the controls. Oh well. Another dream car wrecked. I climb out and look around. The road is in the middle of a forest. Perfect for the fairy TOTY... but the scene fades.

Hoping it is just a scene change I hold on, assuming this is not a real awakening. After staring at blackness for a while I attempt to conjure a dream scene. Instead, the bedroom forms. AB is not here though. Getting up and looking around the room at several ugly pieces of furniture, I decide to use them to complete a different TOTY, phoenix.

Looking down at my right hand I flick it open and summon a ball of fire. It half works - there is heat coming off it but it is invisible, just a flickering haze of heat and warmth in my palm. I try the other hand and the same thing happens. Oh well. I throw the fire at the nearest cabinet and it starts to melt. The flames spread to nearby bits of furniture too.

I concentrate on the fire in my hand to turn it red, although it looks like real flame rather than just red magical energy. Happy with my fire-producing abilities I start chucking fireballs around the room. Soon the entire room is burning.

The original cupboard has melted to the floor in a dark mound of ash, still flaming around the edges. Willing a phoenix to rise from the ashes I concentrate and start seeing the shape of a bird start to form. It's wings seem to be formed of the same invisible fire in my hands, but much hotter. The phoenix is shrieking and twisting now, rising into the air.

The room feels very hot now. Uncomfortably so. I decide it's time to make an exit and phase through the window into the darkness beyond but end up in the darkness of the void, wondering what to do next.

Two of my goals require a DC, so I started thinking about forming a pub or bar where there would be plenty of people to try out some magic on. Instead a tablet forms and I start reading the dreams written on the screen, before realising the scene has formed around me already. It's another empty bedroom.

I phase through the window again. Beyond turns out to be a regular looking street, so I levitate down to the ground. It is night time. Everyone must be asleep in bed. Well, time to wake them up. I start to climb up the wall like Spiderman, to the upper floors, and peer in a window. The room inside has a wine rack thing, but is deserted.

The next window is much more promising. Inside, lying on the bed, in her undies, is a blonde woman. Well, hello! I tap on the glass to see if she's okay with me climbing in through the window at this time of night. She looks slightly confused, but smiles. I take that as an invitation and phase into the room.

The blonde woman stands up on the bed and starts moving to a second bed up in an alcove on the wall. As I start to move over, completely distracted from my goals and just thinking about having sex with her, the dream fades into a real awakening.

7.20 - 8.40am
Medium LD 340 "Turn You to Stone"
In a car again. This time with my Mum, Dad and sister. Dad is driving. We head into a small English village, heading down a hill with a pretty view of the town. However the road is blocked. I climb out of the car and become lucid straight away.

Still acting on the sexual urges stirred up from the previous dream's ending, I climb the nearest wall and find a door up on the second floor. Opening it reveals a bedroom. Sure enough there is a hot girl sitting on the bed, again in just her underwear. Unfortunately there is a guy sitting across the room.

"Excuse me. I really want to have sex with her, so you should leave." Brutal honesty. Sometimes my SC respects that, and it seems like one of those times. The guy gets up and exits the room. The woman just looks at me, almost blankly, uninterested. Bit of a turn off. I decide to persevere and see what happens.

Thankfully, once I sit down on the bed she decides that she is interested. To my delight she wants to try a couple of other things first before getting on with it.

When we are in the middle of having sex though, another woman enters the room. She's older, fully dressed, and, well, I'm enjoying myself just fine as things are. The other woman tries to stop us, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me off the bed. Remembering one of my personal goals, I turn to her and say "You're going to sleep now", in my finest Kilgrave impression. She curls up on the floor and starts snoring.

The woman that I was having sex with decides to go help the woman and try to wake her up. Fantastic. Irritated, I touch the girl's shoulder and will her to turn to stone. The skin on her shoulder takes on the appearance of stone, and the effect grows, covering her entire body. So now there is a statue of a naked woman trying to wake the sleeping woman.

Well, enough of this. I go searching for my motorbike. The bedroom door leads out into a car park. There are rows and rows of cars but no bikes, so I start turning around and looking for one. A couple of motorbikes appear, but they are weird looking. I specifically want to ride my own bike tonight.

I start to call out my motorbike's name and searching through the car park for her. (Yes, my motorbike has a name. I don't care if you think it's weird.) The car park leads to a street. There is a bus stop with several people waiting. A group of guys are hanging around. The bus stop leads into a tunnel, and at this point I acknowledge that my attempts to summon my bike aren't working. A new approach is needed. Before thinking of anything, the dream ends.

Short LD 341 "Pipe Cleaner"
I am desperate to urinate but unable to find a toilet. There is a large sink/bowl thing on the floor, so I pee into that. It is out in the open, in the middle of some kind of hospital. It seems to take forever, with there being an unending amount of urine. Some people walk past while I'm standing there, peeing into the bowl. They give me weird looks, but, well, I don't think I can stop the flow.

A nurse shows up. She starts saying I should get a check up, and that there is clearly something wrong with me. She holds up a 'medical' pipe cleaner - the single bit of wire with white bristles surrounding it. Eeeep, no, you are not going to do what I think you're planning on doing with that!

I turn around and am confronted by a second nurse. This one is holding what can only be described as a solid, clear plastic condom type thing with sharp looking bristles on the inside. There are rows of the same contraption in packets on the shelf behind her. Yikes.
"Stay the hell away from me!"
I zip my trousers up and make a hasty exit.

The hospital turns into a pub. I walk past the bar, which contains a few DCs sitting drinking. At the door, still thinking about the nurses, I decide to do a reality check. Yep. This is a dream. I almost leave the pub before recalling the TOTM and head back to the bar.

The barman gives me a surprised look when I ask for a beer. That's a normal request to make of a barman, isn't it?
"You want a beer?" He says, slowly, as if this is a very stupid thing to ask for.
"Yeah. A beer."
He raises an eyebrow, but walks away.
"What are you drinking?" I ask the guy sitting nearby at the bar, holding some kind of elaborate cocktail. "What's wrong with the beer?"
"The beer tastes like piss." He tells me. "This is orange juice."
Looking around, all the other patrons seems to be drinking fruit juice too. Great. I manage to find a bar where no one is drunk. I start to walk out of the pub and wake up.