lucid

Woohoo, broke my dry spell!! Well, sorta. They were brief, mini-lucids. But I credit lower stress and better sleep to my new health regimen. As usual, it was after 7am when I got Chris back to school, and I went back to sleep to try to DEILD. The supplements were making me a little to awake, so I wasn't sure if I could get back to sleep but I finally did.

Three times in a row I went to sleep and never lost awareness. They weren't even DEILDs this time, just a bunch of mini-WILDS. After a loong WBTB (sorry for all the acronyms, I've been studying ). So each time, I opened my eyes in bed, and realized immediately I was lucid. So I hopped out of bed, and went immediately to the bedroom door to begin my journey. But I felt sooo sluggish. I couldn't even open one of my eyes. Before I could even get to the door, my lucidity faded back to awakeness. Really smooth transitions though. It happened 2 more times, and each time I tried to get to the door faster, push through the sluggishness harder, but same ending. I realized well after I woke up, that I should have done the opposite: relaxed, look at my hands, slowly go to the mirror. Oh yeah, in one of them I looked in the mirror on our dresser, but it was too dark to see my face. Oh well, I'm happy nevertheless. I had some FAs too, where I though my cell was vibrating, and I kept checking the time.

Anyway, in the non-lucid, it was present day, but we all lived with my parents, along with my childhood best friend's older brother, Michael. Only he was still a teenager. He was living with us because (just like IRL), he was getting into alot of trouble. Even been in jail. The weird thing though, oh yeah, besides the fact that I was pregnant again and due any minute, was the fact that the last time Michael had gone to jail, some kid karate chopped a thick nerve on the back of his neck. You could actually see it (looked more like a tendon), broken under the skin. This severed nerve caused a phobia of the dark for him. Long story short, my mom and Danny's kids took Michael to the hospital to get the nerve fixed, while my step-dad and Chris stayed to take me to the hospital in case I went into labor. The last part of the dream was me fighting with my son, Chris. I was calling him over to tell him thank you for deciding to be one of the ones to stay with me. But he was being a tool. He finally walked over to me, but I gave him the hand. "No no, nevermind. I was just going to thank you for staying." "But mom.." "NEVERMIND." "Waaah."

The End.

I don't remember the order of all my dreams last night, so I'm just going to itemize what I remember.

1. The Russians who hacked DV turned to be the ones who made the DreamViews.org site as well, in order to trick us. Everyone was soooooooooo sad, I felt horrible. That's all I remember from that fragment. That and being relieved when I woke up briefly from it hehe.

2. I randomly became lucid in the middle of a dream, a DILD due to WBTB. I was in the small, cozy fire-lit living room of a cabin way up in some mountains. There were a few nameless people on the sofa, and I pondered some lucid sex, but then I thought naaaah, I want to try something else for a change. Of course I forgot them all in the moment (of course), so I just defaulted to flying. Unfortunately I suffer from vertigo sometimes, even in a lucid dream when I know it's not real. I get that woozy feeling in my stomach that's unbearable. So I rarely fly, or jump high, or jump from great heights in LDs. Which is unfortunate, because after I got back down, I went to this large window in the room, opened it, and about 50 - 100 feet below was this vast, icy tundra. It was dusk, so everything looked blue and silvery. And cold cold cold. I wanted to explore it SO BAD, but.... vertigo. Also, after I flew, I started to lose the LD because the vertigo sensations were causing me to lose lucidity. So I stopped, spoke my 'more lucidity please' mantra. Looked down at my hands, and went to my ever obedient lucid mirror. I looked close, opened my eyes really wide like I always do, but this time it was a bit different. Instead of the pupils shrinking down to the size of pinholes, they were slits, like a cat's or a snake's. And instead of that glittering, emerald color, they were golden yellow. I laughed to myself and said, "Wow, I just had a Voldemort moment."

3. I left that room at some moment, and ended up in a room that was completely dark. I yelled "Lights" .. "Light PLEASSE" .. "Let There Be LIGHT" .. even "FIRE!!!" But it wouldn't light up. So I kept walking and ended up in the same living room, same boring people on the sofa. I turned around and saw a bright kitchen. I went to the kitchen and saw a pretty brunette preparing food on and island counter. I thought, meh, why not. I did her in 3 different positions, but I didn't get off. Mainly because I don't really like women as much as I like men I guess hehe.

4. Then some dream fragments that I may add later but I gotta go make lunch.

That's all.

I didn't think I'd be able to have a successful LD this morning because of too many sounds and people and interruptions and cell phones and dogs, but I finally DEILDed and felt that naughty demon grab me and hold me from behind. I tried to flip him over but this time he remained steadfast and glued to my back. Completely lucid and ready for battle, I stood up on my bed. He was still hanging on, dumb dick. So I jumped up, and off the side of the bed, using the edge of my mattress as a 'scraper' and the demon peeled right off, and landed on my bed with a plop. Already having taken the form of a pretty brunette woman, she lay there, unmoving, in a near vegetative state. I won. I disrobed her, whipped out my man junk, and went to town. Of course I woke up too soon, spoils of victory taste tooooo gooooood.

I woke up but was able to go right back to it, this time she was more blondish. I wanted to do everything that Alyzarin and I had discussed, because I was bound and determined to make this a full victory. So I got out of bed, went to my bathroom, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. As always, my obedient doppelganger's eyes turned almost a lime green, with little silver sparkles that moved over almost gel-like irises, nearly devoid of pupils. I looked down at my hand, moved it back and forth a bit, and felt my lucidity temporarily stabilized.

I went back to bed and started to do my thing to the demon bitch again, but I woke up again.

IT WAS SO FUN.
High 5, Aly!

I was worried about DEILDing this morning in real life when I went back to bed because Danny just got off his night shift, and I've never tried to DEILD with him sleeping in bed next to me. You know, like I was afraid I would have a hard time discerning the difference between waking up for real or a false awakening. I'm also afraid that if I shout "More Lucidity", then real life Danny will hear me lol. But I managed it anyway.

I fell back to sleep on my side facing away from Danny, and had a non lucid dream about a really large guy with black hair and a mustache and glasses, who grabbed me. I woke up briefly, then fell back to sleep. I felt the WILD vibrations creep up behind me (kind of like when I feel Demon Danny climb on my back), but since I was on my side, I felt him creep up behind me and grab me and hold me really tight. I could even feel his hands lock around my stomach, and his thumb moved over mine in an attempt to hold my hands, almost romantically. I held his hands and looked behind me to make sure it was a dream and not Danny in real life. Nope, it was the guy from the previous dream, though he had shrunk down some. He still looked like the guy, but he was more Danny-sized now. So I turned to face him and then rolled on top of him. I put my hand on his face and tried to lean in for a kiss and the bastard bit me! Just like in the other one, he started to lose his control over his human form, and in defense I guess, he bit down on my hand and wouldn't let go. So I did like I do with my dogs, "No biting,... NOOO BIIITING, easy, easy, be niiiiice, no biting." And I was able to get my hand out. I then wanted to do like I had discussed with Alyzarin, and I got up to go check my refection in the bathroom mirror. But as soon as I got out of bed, and tried to turn toward the bathroom, the dream faded and I woke up.

But only briefly; I fell back to sleep immediately, and like the previous dream, I felt the creature creep up behind me and hold me tightly again. (I guess he just wants to spoon lol). I tried to just, grab his stuff and have him do me from behind, but his form was starting to morph or something. I knew I had to work quickly, so spun around and flipped him over and got on top, and pulled his pants down. But as soon as I managed to get his junk in the right place, it melted away. I was able to will it back, but then the dream started to fade again. So I shouted More Lucidity which helped a little, then I looked over my hand, turned it around a bit, and that locked things in place for a bit. I looked back down at the creature, and now he was Demon Danny (I knew it all along). I was able to get partial penetration, but then he started to shrivel down in size. So not fuckable (my lucid sexual partners tend to shrink and shrivel or suddenly). So I put my hands on his stomach and moved them outward while saying "GROW". He grew back to about 95% of his original size, good enough. That was my first attempt, and success, of willing a shrunken DC to grow back in size. I got on top of him, again, and his junk melted, again, then I woke up.

BALLS, I should have gone to the bathroom mirror. I also should have just said fuck it, flipped him over on his belly and whipped out MY junk. My lucid cock never fails me. The fucker bites me again, that's EXACTLY what's going to happen.

Still, yay lucids!

My LDs lately have gotten really really repetitive. I'm getting tired of talking about the same 2 themes. I'm going to try spicing things up tomorrow. As soon as I can think of something. One thing I will say before going into detail about the dreams, my Lucid Mirror technique is just getting better and better. It is my best and most reliable friend in my lucid dreams. That's why he got a name. With capitalization.

I had 2 or 3 gender swap dreams again. They were shorter than the last ones, but this time I blame my horrible sleep last night. I woke up at 3am and didn't get back to sleep until almost 8am. Good thing I got the day off today! Only thing I'll say about the dreams is that I not only was able to summon up beautiful mirrors whenever I wanted to do my lucid lock trick, but I could pass by anything with a shiny surface and get the same result. This time, I passed an oven, and the shiny glass surface worked. I see my reflection, looks like me, then I widen my eyes, and they turn pale pale green, with swirly movement in the irises. I give my reflection a mischievous grin, and she smiles back. W00t now it's time to play. No sex details here, sorry, but one time I did whip it out in front of a mirror lol. I will neeeeever forget that.

Then I woke up about 10ish, still really sleepy, so I thought I'd try for some more LDs. The last ones ended too quick. I started having alot of those kinda scary WILD vibrations. Then, guess who visited me. Yep, Demon Danny. This time he was a true true dick. I didn't have eye paralysis this time, but I was really struggling to talk. I had to use so much energy to talk to him. Which is kinda how I'd been training him, by reasoning with him, yelling at him etc. Even my body movements were getting more and more laborious. One time, I saw him in my bed, so I struggled out a "Come on over here," and he got on top of me. He kissed me for a moment, but then grabbed my hand and started biting it without letting go. Mind you, I am lucid, so it's not too scary. Just ANNOYING. So I wake up, and I can feel the pain in my fingers subside. I tried a couple more times, still with the strange WILD vibrations and sounds, but he was being so stubborn and I could barely talk so I just said fuck it and woke up.

I don't mind the gender-swappy LDs so much, because I have more control (they just tend to be shorter than I want). But Demon Danny is a royal shit head, and I'm struggling alot with his behavior. I'm going to have to try something different with those. If I'm going to share my bed with another man, even if it is just in my mind, I'm going to need alot more cooperation.

Several FAs in a row. Like yesterday, I dreamt that I heard Danny come home. In the first FA, I heard someone come into the room. Very scary feeling, because I was sure Danny was at work. Then the lucidity hit me. My body, along with the blanket and pillow slooowly slid across the mattress and landed softly on the floor between the bed and the wall. Then I heard Danny ask me why I was sleeping on the floor. I can't remember all we talked about, but he mentioned having a meeting that morning and when it was over he just came home. So I was like, ok. Then woke up.

Went back to sleep, and the same thing happened. Heard someone come into the room. He didn't say anything, it's just, the feeling of someone being in the room. Then the bed moved a bit and I heard a shuffling under the bed. Oh also, my eyes were stuck shut in all these dreams. A kind of SP thing, which nearly always accompanies my FAs. Then I became lucid again. So my body slid across the mattress again, but instead of landing on the floor, I just slid over to Danny's side of the bed. Then I heard his voice, from under the bad, saying "Hey". I laughed and asked what he was doing under the bad. And he said, "trying to make contact." Then I woke up again. Hehe wtf.

So I fell asleep a third time. and this time I felt a presence in the room, and the feeling and sound of someone getting in the bed next to me. I said, "Danny?" He said, "Yeah?" And I said, "Yeah right." Then I began to drift off again, but I could hear the sound of someone breathing beside me, a rhythmic, sleep sounding breathing (was sure that it was my own breathing that I heard). I became lucid then, because I knew the breathing had been mine, but now it sounded like it was coming from next to me. I reached behind me and felt Danny's arm. AHA, I thought, not going to fool me again. This isn't really Danny. But, as long as this DC is right here in bed anyway..

So I grabbed his arm and pulled him on top of me. His arm felt heavy and muscular, just like Danny's. And his feel, his smell, and the way he kissed felt so much like Danny that I almost questioned it again. But I knew it was a dream, and I just tried to make the best of it. So we made out for a while longer but I woke up again. I had slept enough by then.

I had a buuuuunch of dreams because the dogs kept waking me up. I know I should write them all down but I don't want to. I'll just talk about the one semi lucid, then just highlight the rest.

After one of the many times the dogs woke me up, I felt some really heavy WILD vibrations. They were the uncomfortable ones, like the ones I get before having a scary dream, or that demon dream. What happened next could best be described as a cross between a FA and a semi lucid dream: I knew Danny had left for work at 5am already, I remember he already kissed me goodbye, and now the sun was coming up. Then Danny, in nothing but shorts, jumped into the bed and grabbed me. I shouted "You're not Danny, he already left for work!" I knew it had to be a dream, but I just really felt like I was really in my room. He kept trying to wrestle with me really roughly, and I got scared. But I told myself that it's just a dream, and the guy is just a DC. I looked at him and said "I'm about to turn on the light!" And then he had that same look that the demons do when they're fighting off the change (the change=when the demon looks like a normal person, but then something causes them to lose control and start losing their human disguise, revealing their monstrous real self. It sometimes involves writhing, and spasms, and sharp-toothed growls. It can be scary sometimes). I didn't want to see the change, especially because my subconscious gave the demon Danny's face this time! So I jumped up and turned on the bedroom light. He vanished. That was when it turned into an FA: I thought I had really woken up from the dream and turned on the light. So I turned it off and went back to sleep. I knew it was an FA because the bed was turned around in the room 180 degrees.

The rest:

1. The mole-man that liked to eat the curdled cream from my cream-top farm fresh milk.

2. That damn kid (I say kid, he's like 19 or 20) from work. You're not my boyfriend either so stay out of my dreams! Told him he needs to find his own damn girlfriend. I said I would help because he's shy. Kept trying to kiss me. Kept following me around, wanting me to feed him. And liked to show off how many pushups he could do. Don't really know if he wanted me to date him or adopt him. Dumbass.

3. Nuclear bolt thing. Don't touch it mom!

4. That jug of reaaaaly farm fresh milk. It looked like whey with cloudy stuff on top.

I don't want to go into alot of detail, because I don't know how to make this entry private. So I'll put what I can in as vague a way as possible.

Last nights LDs were memorable in several ways, mainly in the technique used to attain lucidity:

1. All 3 were successful DEILDs (which is usually really hard for me, I ordinarily just DILD)
2. All 3 were successful gender swaps
3. In the 3rd one, I didn't lose lucidity too soon, via some old tried and true techniques

First of all, concerning DEILDs, I was on a roll last night. They took little effort, and happened quickly! I went straight from a few moments of hypnogogic images and then boom, lucid. My self-awareness was consistent from being awake, to the images, then the LD. I was so happy, but I kept getting that "feeling tired within the dream, leading to waking up" problem. Even dream blindness one time. I just kept yelling "More Lucidity Pleeeeeease" and it would lock it in for a few moments. One time, I felt that tiredness and was afraid I might wake up, so I did my mirror trick: I lifted my hands and willed a mirror to appear. I looked at my reflection, opened my eyes REALLY WIDE, and they started changing shape and getting all deformed, which locked in the lucidity. But it wasn't until the 3rd LD, that in "that moment", you know, during a naughty LD, where you wake up too soon, I just kept on shouting "More Lucidity" every few seconds. It was a little high maintenance, but I didn't wake up until the deed was complete haha!

HUGE personal triumphs for me. You know folks, I always do better with my LDs when I come back to DV and talk to all you dreamers, discuss techniques.. just, you know, be in the zone. So I give all y'all partial credit Thanks xoxoxo.

DOH! My original Dream Journal got stashed in the archives. Well that's what I get for being gone so long. Anyway, time for a fresh start why not. My dreams have changed so much! Plus I want to give my dream entries funny titles


Give Me My Robe, Stupid Demon!

Most recurring one I get now, is I'll initiate DEILD while lying on my stomach, get the usual vibrations, then I feel it: it feels like someone getting on top of my back and holding my arms down. I thought it was Danny the first time because it feels SO REAL. And the lucidity happens so fast that I'm still aware of me lying on my bed and such. I look back and it's a weird demon kinda guy. I'm not scared (it kinda feels good!), so I just mildly suggest that we start having sex, since he's back there anyway and attaining lucidity usually makes me horny. Most of the time he does nothing. A few times he stuck it in me, but he seems to be frustrated by his own lack of control and then wigs out and vanishes. This can occur several times in one morning. Finally I just give up and and leave the bedroom. Useless demon bastard head.

The end.

12/28/04

Joy! Had another LD. Was another tornado dream (tornado=personal dream sign). So I was watching 3 tornados doing a square dance of sorts when I decided I better do a reality test which came out positive for lucidity. So I was like, "Woohoo, alright...been a while. Now what was it that I wanted to do next time I attain lucidity?!" So I thought and thought and thought....but I couldn't remember that I wanted to hook up with CT and *bleep*. Like *bleep* is such a hard *bleeping* thing to remember to want to do. This coming from a woman who hasn't *bleeped* in over a year.

Anyway, I lost lucidty after a few minutes of really uncomfortable concentrating (I don't like using my brain too much if it can be avoided). But yay I'm happy that i finally LDed after such a long time.

(testing the blog transfer function)

Joy! Had another LD. Was another tornado dream (tornado=personal dream sign). So I was watching 3 tornados doing a square dance of sorts when I decided I better do a reality test which came out positive for lucidity. So I was like, "Woohoo, alright...been a while. Now what was it that I wanted to do next time I attain lucidity?!" So I thought and thought and thought....but I couldn't remember that I wanted to hook up with CT and *bleep*. Like *bleep* is such a hard *bleeping* thing to remember to want to do. This coming from a woman who hasn't *bleeped* in over a year.

Anyway, I lost lucidty after a few minutes of really uncomfortable concentrating (I don't like using my brain too much if it can be avoided). But yay I'm happy that i finally LDed after such a long time.