Uncategorized

I’m at some club (I don’t ever see its name, but I think it’s One Up). I’m with some others, but I’m not sure who. At the entrance I give the bouncer my ID, though it seems like he wasn’t going to ask for it. We are the only ones in here. The space is small and each wall is an overwhelming LCD display of moving neon, psychedelic patterns. There is talk of going to get high and I think I’ll join, imagining how the walls will look. Outside now, it looks like a bland strip mall and I see someone familiar. He is moving some doors. I go over to help him, screwing two doors together and screwing the bottom of the door? After I finish, I realize I’ve done it backwards, so I tell him I’ll have to start over. It seems like he is waiting on me.

I’m outside somewhere, maybe an apartment complex. I have Stella with me and notice a couple with a dog approaching. It looks like a black border collie and I recognize it as a dog Stella has seen several times but hasn’t been able to meet. Stella notices the dog, but the couple keeps approaching. The man, shirtless and fit, wearing sunglasses and a stoic expression, asks if he can ask me something. I say yes and then ask if our dogs can meet because they’re so close right now and haven’t gotten to meet. He amicably says yes and I explain that she gets frustrated when she’s on leash and can’t meet other dogs. Their dog, what now looks like a retriever, sits by me and playfully chews on my fingers. I clearly feel its sharp little teeth. Stella is very close but is largely ignoring the dog. Now one of them jumps to his back and he catches it with his hands behind his back. He never asks me what he was going to.



I’m walking into a building, a restaurant or something similar. I’m also a woman or dressed as one. I have on a light blonde wig that is not very convincing. I think I also have women’s clothes on. There is attention on me as I walk through to the restroom; I’m aware that I don’t fully look like a woman and stand out to judgmental people but don’t really care. I walk with confidence. There’s a small 90 degree hallway into the restroom, the floor of which is very cluttered with what looks like green foam blocks. They’re hard to get around and I think of what a hazard/liability they are. In the restroom now, the urinals are taken and 2-3 people are waiting. (I went into the men’s, slightly unsure, because I think I still have a penis). I notice two stereotypical straight white men who I know are going to throw a fit about me being in here.

I’m at a beach with what seems like some of the family. It is definitely a beach on the ocean coast. It looks like Hawaii or the California coast. The sand is long and also very deep, sloping down to reach the water. The waves come in large but not violently. It is dim out but the scene seems to be lit with some glow, maybe twilight or moonlight. I’m in the water now, with Dad and Stella. Stella swims after something - a toy?, not an animal. She dives down quite a ways after it. I’m apprehensive at first but then relax when I see how well she’s doing.

They have reimposed a mask mandate. Immediately, most people have started wearing them. Walking around, there are a few that aren’t. I’m among the few and more confident about my decision this time around, seeing how they didn’t change anything.


I think I’ve driven somewhere with Melissa, but she won’t be driving back with me. I see the area, it looks like Central America, as if on a map. It zooms in at times as I think about places I could stop to see.

Melissa and I are meeting Brooke somewhere. It’s late, 11pm exactly. The place is a bar like Flowing Tide. It has the two divided sides, but then there’s a curtain we go past into another portion. I never knew this section was here. I start looking at the drink menu, which has a ton of beer options. I don’t know what to get. Also, I think we were at a house (probably Brooke’s aunt’s) earlier or after this?



I am bouldering at Basecamp. It feels good and fairly easy. The problems are designated by colored holds, which the walls are crowded with. I try one with a bunch of crimps. I then try something in the cave. I notice people watching from the perimeter of the mat.

There’s something about me driving to a bar or something similar to meet Alex. The place is kind of far and it seems late, but I think it’ll mean a lot to him because it’s the last time I’ll get to do something with him. There’s an image of the place in my mind - a bland exterior in what looks like a bland shopping center. Now, I’m with him and his mom in a house. Her hair is completely shaved on the sides and the top portion is pulled back in a tight ponytail. She’s holding something and Alex says it’s more than he brought to Maryland, implying that it’s a weapon.

I’m walking into a classroom from its door to the outside. Nai’a from work is behind me, but not quite close enough for me to hold the door, so I don’t. Inside, it is completely empty save for the teacher, making me wonder if I’m in the wrong room or here at the wrong time. More people now show up. It seems like this is a final - we have to write a five page paper. I had only taken one page out at first. I take out more and fold and take off the perforated edges. I decide to write about a teenaged boy on a boat and a shark, making up the plot as I go. I sketch the boat in some waves (simple squiggly lines) and the shark on a page off to the side. I was going to have the shark attack the boy, but then want the guy's dad to throw him to the shark in a twist ending. In my mind, it’d be the second time the dad has done this.

I’m walking outside somewhere with Stella. The area seems unfamiliar. It still looks like Nevada though, with the rolling hills and lack of trees. We ascend a hill that I notice is now a dusty orange slate. It is steep enough to make me question my footing, especially since there are little pebbles all around. Stella runs circles around me in her excitement; I switch the leash between my hands to accommodate it. I’m now at the very top and the whole surrounding area comes into view. It is very pretty-there’s an ethereal-ness to it, so I take some pictures. I think this is the furthest I’ve gone this way and it didn’t take too long.



I’m in what feels like an underground building. It all seems to be under construction, in an early phase. It’s dim and sparse and it feels like I should not be here. There are several construction workers and I’m trying to not be seen by them. There seems to be a few levels and many rooms. I go into a couple and at times see some creepy scenes. One room in particular has an arrangement of stuffed animals that doesn’t sit right with me. I get creeped out and leave the room. I think I am supposed to be doing something here (but I’m not sure what). Now I am with mom and sorting a black trash bag of things to either keep or throw away. I set aside the reusable things (pens, etc) to keep and want to throw away the rest, like papers and projects.



I’m outside somewhere unfamiliar and trying to take a nap where I’m lying on some weird edge. It seems like the edge of a truck bed or something? I then end up in a tent. I have an iPad or tablet and put on the Pandora station ‘guitar for sleep’ or something similar. I tried a similar station first but it wasn’t very conducive for me trying to sleep. I now close my eyes and it’s still very bright, though I think I fall asleep for a while. I emerge with the post-nap grogginess and go to be around everyone else (not sure who).



(fragment) I am somehow holding onto the back end of a bus, what seems like a tour bus. Someone else is doing the same on the right side of the bus. The bus takes off, driving a little too fast for my uncertain grip. I’m not sure why I’m doing this.

I’m at work, though it also seems like I’m at home (the setting is definitely the conference room at work, but it feels like I was just home or the rest of the space is the house, Dad’s house more specifically). Sitting in front of the computer but behind a baker’s rack, as it’s still cluttered in here, I pull up a Grateful Dead concert clip on Youtube. It’s something like ‘longest/best Dark Star’, with a timestamp of 20 minutes and some odd seconds. The scene is dark but I can tell from how the band members look that it’s sometime in the 80s. I feel like it’s going to be good. Now, I am inside the scene, onstage with the band. Phil and then Jerry are in my line of sight to the left. I watch them play and watch Phil play a huge and heavy note with a grin. There is communication, verbal or otherwise, about how he plays the bass like a guitar. I’m also playing a bass or guitar, briefly cognizant of how it’s probably unnecessary. I look to Jerry to get his attention and mouth ‘dew’ when he looks, conveying my intent to segue into Morning Dew. He lights up slightly, so I think it’s well received. I get chills thinking about it.

I’m at work and going into the breakroom. John is here with a plate of food - chips and something else. I start making a plate as well. There are some chicken nuggets set out and a tray of what feels like leftover french fries. There are only several chicken nuggets, and I only leave one or two. In the process of making my plate, things on it seem to disappear, so I have to do it again. A couple others now show up, some of which are unfamiliar. They are a couple of women that seem to be visiting for work. One of them tells the employees that they’ll be needing the breakroom, that they can’t eat outside or they’ll be fired. I glibly say it’s fine when I really think it’s ridiculous. I put BBQ sauce and a sour cream dip on my plate and walk outside. It immediately looks like I’ve walked into a backyard with a large lawn. I see most everyone else is sitting in the sun; I veer right into the shade. There are some camp chairs set up with a dog lying under one. I go pet the dog. He accepts it but also nips at me, though not in an unfriendly way. In the chair, Jessica is now to my right and Dad in the chair to her right. We are watching a lightning show on the horizon behind the house. There is some sheet lightning and bolts that aren’t all that close. I notice Jessica’s hand naturally resting between her legs and subtly fidgeting with the seam of her jeans. I initially take it as sexual, though it could just be itching. She also quickly adjusts her bra; I see the cup move beneath the shirt. I glance over to read her shirt and I’m not sure if she takes it as me checking out her chest. I think about explaining myself but don’t. Now, a plane flies fairly close overhead. Another appears and drops two projectiles. They fall for a moment and then start flying this way. They pass overhead, continue on, then explode on the far horizon. In my mind, the far horizon is somewhere like the East Coast, and it’s crazy that I can see it from here.



I’m outside somewhere with Melissa. We’re on some road and approaching a long and steeply inclined overpass. Everyone (I think in cars) slows and stops. Apparently it is closed off suddenly. A man down here is trying to explain the situation to us. I become very angry with him, shouting ‘who are you to tell us what to do with our animals?!’ I guess the scenario has something to do with animals - horses? I end up hitting the man several times but he never reacts.

I’m climbing inside at what looks like or similar to Basecamp. I boulder a couple of problems; it feels easy and I feel strong and confident. I notice it’s very empty in here, almost unbelievably so; I can’t remember a time it’s been less crowded. Now, I’m up at the front desk. Dustin sits behind it - he looks young (maybe how he looked back when I was climbing). He has his closely cropped beard and eyeglasses. I ask him how much it would cost to come a couple of times a week. He talks to me on the side of looking at his computer screen.

I’m at work and either about to sort carts or just passing through the warehouse. I notice a black wire rack that I haven’t seen before (it looks similar to the red one we put DVDs on) with handwritten tags on green paper for the subsections in Nonfiction. This is a new process to me, and I wonder if it’s going to make things simpler or more complicated. I also wonder if it was Reika or Jessica who wrote the tags.

I’m outside somewhere with Zoe and either her son or Jessica from work. Her car is here, with the back full of Blu-rays and DVDs. We are sorting them into fruit trays. I get going and then realize I haven't been checking the condition on the last few. Some are still wrapped and the ones I did check were in good condition, so I’m not really worried about it. Now, we are in the back of the car with the door open as Zoe starts driving. She accelerates far too quickly for this situation. Still speeding, she glances in the rearview with an expression almost of joy to see if we’re still holding on (which we are).

I’m with Melissa and going to what seems to be a dispensary or a place for massages or both. The place seems dim and two stories tall. We walk in and the lobby is pretty crowded. I notice one guy with bloodshot eyes that are barely open. The lone woman receptionist looks to be in the same state as well. I think about adding CBD to my massage this time no matter the cost. I don’t mind splurging a bit to get a really good experience. I also think about getting something from the dispensary to take home.

*I mentioned edibles to Melissa yesterday. I’ve also been having some discomfort in my back.

I am driving to ---. The area seems fairly empty, like it’s not school hours. As I approach, it’s been so long that I forget which side is student parking. I guess it doesn’t really matter, as I’m just a guest. I end up parking on the side that I now remember is staff parking. I hesitate, but there are plenty of empty spaces. I’m now getting out of the backed-in car, except it is a rolling office chair. I guess I don’t find this odd, rolling it back into the far corner of this edge spot. Now I’m in the school and it is empty. Jessica from work is now here and we pass by the library. The door is cracked and I peek in, reliving some of my time here. The lights are off and I want to go in, but Jessica does not. I then see some guy moving slightly around in there, so we do not go in. Now, we are in a smaller, dim room. It seems to be a bathroom. There is just a window and an inset tub. Julia is now here and they’re both down to their underwear and in the tub. They want me to get in, but I hesitate. Finally, I strip down to my black boxers, self conscious of how my penis is sticking up a bit in them. Just as I’m about to get in, Jessica gets out. This irritates me because she was just asking for me to get in.