non-lucid

I'm working at the Springfield Nuclear power plant. I walk up on carl telling homer a bedtime story. Homer falls asleep standing up. Lenny has built a Puppet homer to appear to be doing to homer's work. He looks away for a second to spy the CC monitor that's displaying the ongoing new employee interview process. When he looks back the wooden homer puppet is also asleep.



The interivew room on the TV screen looks like a interrogation chamber on a police tv show. Sitting in the interview chair is Andy from Parks and Recreation. I can hear him talk and he's not making any sense. He's using big words that don't exist and waving his arms around like a maniac. He's hired. I turn away from the screen and the factory floor is filled with Sleeping puppet homer simpsons.

Andy has been hired to be our new boss. He mostly stays out of the way while we work coming by occassionally to spout some schitzophrenic nonsense. We all smile and nod yes. Those that look confused are greeted with red-faced incomprehensible screaming until they too are nodding and smiling.



The weekend comes and Lenny offers to take us sailing at his rich cousin's house. Carl, Andy and I take him up on his offer. Andy brings with him a beautiful black and white goat, with markings to resemble an australian shepard. The goat's name is Princess.



Lenny's rich cousin is a fat man dressed like fred from scooby doo, with blue pants, a white polo shirt and an orange ascott. He gives us a brief tour of his gigantic house at a kiosk that resembles one of those "You are here" stands at the local shopping mall. The more he describes his opulent home, the redder Andy's face gets.



Then we are out fishing on a yacht and Fat Fred catches a huge sword fish with a ronco pocket fisherman. This is the straw that breaks Andy's back. Steam is coming out of his ears as his red face explodes with a stream of nonsense syllables and profanity. The guests of Fat Fred all look on in horror as Lenny, Carl and I shake our heads with disappointment and shame.

Now the door to the fantastic house is slamming shut and we are all running back to our car. The goat is chewing on a rose bush until a very large lizard appears to chase it away. I watch the goat kick the lizard in the face and wake up.

7-7-11
Plans for the Night
Christiaan is working at a kitchy hipster roller skating rink and wants me to come visit her while I'm in town. I tell her if I can make it. Her and her sister are getting ready for work with rockabilly pompadors and matching blue and black bowling shirts. I say "how much is it to skate, Five dollars?" One of my group shakes his head no. "twenty?"

"That's closer."

"I may see you there later."

We go over to the caffe and I see a beautiful girl who looks like classic 70's farrah fawcet. I go over to talk to her and say "I remember you, Did you used to work at the Simoneauds market on Duperier?" She smiles and nods. "well, goddamn if you don't look a day. I used to have the biggest crush on you."

She asks me if I want to go out sometime. I reply "sure, I can bring my wife and we can all stare at each other awkwardly." She Laughs.

Taking Shots
There's a woman in a house who has a special medicine for me. She can give it to me in a drink or a needle, but if she uses the needle she'll have to "scrape off some scapula" to do it. I don't know what she's talking about. She gets annoyed and demands "do you want it or don't you?"

I say "Sure, Let's Do it." She takes out a little knife resembling a dentist's mirror and starts scraping at my sholder. She very quickly scrapes to the bone then pulls out a needle that goes right into my bone.

7-8-11
Prohibition Era Epic Fantasy
It's the story of the rise of the Gangster Smuggling Hobo King. From humble beginnings riding the rails with burlap sacks full of illegal sugarcane to make rum, This future king would run through yards and houses from farmers and G-men alike. In one instance he removes his own shirt and throws it over a barbed wire fence to climb with authorities in hot pursuit. In another he has sex with a fat ugly whorehouse madam so he can sell his rum in a new shanty town.

In another scene it is years later with the same smuggler sitting behind a desk in a chair so large it looks like a throne. A local police chief and mayor is standing with hat in hand.

7-9-11
Adam and Andy's gay wedding
Small ceremony with about 25 people there. People walking around with lots of food. April and I leave before the ceremony to go to another restaurant where there is more food. We go to the walmart to find a presant but wall mart is closed. There are still lots of cars in the parking lot. Walmart now has a movie theater inside of it. We go back to the wedding and the grooms party is walking down the aisle in rubber ghostbuster suits. I see Dan Hypes and he tells me to get in touch with Mel Ebling who now lives in austin. Later, Adam, Andy, April and I are picking through the bridal part y leftovers, small scraps of meat and tiny orange slices. Adam asks me if I am still hungry and would we mind if we went out for a slice of pizza.

From a nap yesterday afternoon
Fight with Manfro

I am visiting a porn store/strip club because len owes me money. I am waiting by the front desk for a manager to talk to me. Holding a clip board wearing long slicked back hair I see Manfro with a white shirt cuffed up to the elbow. We make eye contact and I say "holy shit!" He rolls his eyes as I tell him that he's great on men of a certain age and I ask If I can get a picture with him. He says sure and I give my phone to the kid doing checkout. We pose and the kid takes the shot. Manfro looks at me and says "you know what happens now right?"
I go oh shit as he takes a swing at me. I grab his hand and fling him behind me into a trash can. He yells and charges me. I grab him and swing around as we both pitch to the floor. He keeps telling me he's going to kick my ass. But I grab him and use my leverage against him as I flip him around and again. Eventually he stops struggling and we stand up. I tell him I like the way he plays the character as such a scumbag but you still feel a bit of soul about him. He smiles and says thank you very much.
I look through my phone for the picure and it's not there. I figure the kid didn't know what he was doing or sabotaged me on purpose.

From this morning
War With Germany

I am suddenly drafted into service to go to war against germany. I am gathered with a few dozen people including Alec Baldwin and put on a plane. We land on top of a building and are sent into this room to get weapons and gather. Everyone gathers weapons but I am late to getting mine. I look for a gun but can find no bullets. The only bullets left in the file cabinet are shotgun shells so I head back to look for the Automatic Shotgun.

The germans have already infeltrated the building. I get the shotgun but I am unable to put bullets in it before we are run over and captured. The general who had our orders' flight was delayed by german air traffic controllers. They take us prisoner and bring us to a nearby boarding school.

We are hanging out in a computer lab with students. The computers are all different. Mac and PC. Over by us they are very very old. Everytime I look again at the computers they change again, from 286s to Mac Pluss. People are playing games on them like Number Crunchers and Oregon Trail. None of the computers around that are open are working so I walk to the side of the room with the students.

These computers are amazing and the kids are doing kick ass stuff on them. Some are doing crazy advanced homework and some are playing very advanced games. One kid is controlling a small animated frog who leaps off the screen and attacks other kids stuff. I am very impressed by this. I see one computer open on this side of the room and it's an amazing computer.

I sit down at this monstrosty for a few minutes and play with a painting program and then try to find email. No such luck. I get nervous and wonder if I am supposed to be on this side of the room. I get up and walk back to where the prisoners are. I see that my friend kevin is there and his german girlfriend gets him moved out of the area with the rest of the prisoners. It annoys me for a moment that he is getting special treatment.

I see my friend amy and go sit down to talk to her but we are interruped by german soldiers who move us enmasse to a garden. The germans are preparing to speak with us and are not paying attention. I take the opportunity to run away, down a path to freedom.

I find a small town and look for a phone to call people from. I rummage for food from a Mc Donald's Dumpster. Eventually I find docks and come across a shipping manifest that allows me to stow away back to america. I worry about my wife.

I make it back to america and the war is over. I find alec baldwin in a park and we talk for a moment, laughing about how short the war was.

Dream Lucid Note
7-1-11
Tricorder Wartime Sex Toy
In the military. Members of the patrol have small black wii remote shaped sensors that record external stimuli. Obstensibly they are recording traces of the environment like on star trek. They talk abou thow they are using the devices to record blind women having sex so they can reproduce the perfect virtual sex toy for combat operations. They are describing this in lurid detail before they relize that the commander is standing behind them.

7-3-11
Medicine Assassin's Creed
Running around on rooftops looking for medicine. Assassins's creed dream. As I wake up I can close my eyes and see the dream. I can move my eyes around and continue to dream.

Enter the Matrix
Sitting in my living room playing a video game. Suddenly on the screen is a computerized image of me sitting on the couch. I realize that I am dreaming. Take a breath and move slowly toward the television. As I get closer the television gets bigger. The tv emits this crazy hum of static like an old tv would. I stick my head inside the television and the image of myself distorts while the static hum envelops my head.

Hold Still DEILD

Flight Failure
I am on a rooftop and realize that I'm dreaming. I dive off head first to try to fly but I fall and land on my head. When I land I wake up.

THis was this mornign and was fucking weird.
7-4-11
Michelle Bachman Homosexual Reeducation camp
I was watching a movie about these gay christian guys who go to texas chainsaw massacre style haunted house that doubled as one of those Homosexual reeducation camps. The men are gathered in a cramp hallway while a larry the cable guy looking hillbilly with a pair of overalls and a shaved head flipped a switch on the back of a shitty hall of presidents style statue of an old man made of rubber. The old rubber man statue gave a speech about how with a strong will and the right training, you too can control your unnatural urges of homersexuality. After that the inductees were killed one by one in the style of a shitty horror movie. One guy had his hand chopped off and bled to death. Another was told to change a lightbulb with a "saftey harness around his neck" he slipped and hung him self.

Talking to someone about comedy, they had never heard of Noises off or Gary Shandling's The larry Sanders Show. I want to educate them but the more they don't know, the more astonished i become

Two guns and three people, no body can trust anyone else. There's a woman with sholder length reddish brown hair and a dark blue 80's pantsuit with sholder pads and a male FBI agent is a black suit . Sometimes I have the gun, Sometimes They have the gun.

Dream Lucid Note

First i woke up at 6 am after going to bed at midnight. I took the trash to the curb and fed the dogs while thinking of my dream. All i remember was a tiny fragment. I have been playing Assassins Creed 2.
Delivering a package in Florence in 1488

I went back to bed at 6:30.

My friend is tasked with finding a special flower that only grows on the top of a mountain. He has been off tryign to find it for quite a while now. I decide that I want to go visit him so I go to a special room in the castle and find a door there. I put a key of intention in the door and then strike the door with a blast of power. The door blows off the hinges into a mountain snow storm and when it lands on the ground the whole room I'm standing in suddenly becomes the mountain too. I see that the door that landed on the ground has turned into a snowboard. Remembering LD teleporting I am shocked into happy lucidity for just a moment thinking that was a pretty awesome teleport. The surprise shocks me into my body and I wake up.

Dream Notes Lucid

Early DND Dream Fragment. I went to bed and woke up after six hours. This is what i remember. I played DND last night for the first time in 8 years.
Robbing a kobold. Fighting and getting a wand. Being in a desert clearing.

G+C DILD + DEILD
Eating in bedrooms
Hanging out in te guest bedroom at my dad's old place with my wife and eric comes in and sits on the bed with us. He is being overly friendly and flirty so I start getting angry. After i tell them to stop a few times, I realize that I am dreaming. I start slapping him in the face. He just looks solemn as I punch him over and over again. I imagine my hand catching fire, my hand starts glowing and burning and I hit him really hard.

I get up and leave the room. I hold my nose and take a breath as I walk through the hallway. I look at the wood panel really close and see almost like a computerized wood panel flame pattern that changed like whipping flames. I look away from the wall and see the pattern all over the house.

I take another dream breath and walk into the kitchen. A tall chubby blonde guy is eating cold french fries out of the fridge and I remember that I want to eat something. I ask him for a fry and he says no. I reach into his box and grab a fry and he laughs. I eat the fry and it's cold and starchy as an old french fry is. I start to walk outside and lose the dream.

I hold still and DEILD back into a dream. This time I am in a bedroom with double beds and on one a naked goth couple is making out on the other. I am totally lucid. I go over, easily separate them and give the girl a big hug. We start making out and the guy starts to protest. I say "freeze" and hold my palm up to him and he freezes completely still, brow furred, mouth open in protest, finger up and pointing.

She smiles at me and straddles me. We are making out and I sit her down on the edge of the bed and I sit on the floor. I see a small box of popeye's chicken tenders next to us and I think for a moment whether I would rather have sex with her or eat the chicken. I split the difference and decide to give her cunnilingus. Her pussy is small and pink and she tastes really good. I can hear her moan and as I eat I look into the sparse tuft of black pubic hair and watch as the hair dances. I float back into my body and wake up.

I fall asleep one more time but this time I am not having a lucid dream. I am walking through a mostly empty banquet hall and see a pictures on a table on a stage at the front of the room there is a picture of my cat next to a picture of a cat that I don't recognize. My wife comes up and hands me two wallets. She says one was given to me by her, one was given to me by my ex girlfriend. I ask her which is which and she laughs "that's the question isn't it?"

I say "HMM" and stare at the wallets. One is bulky and ornate and has a strange picture frame connected to it, the other is very light and slim and has a made at summer camp cowboy leather motif. I tell my wife that because this cowboy wallet is very practical and I could actually use it, this one probably came from her.

She says "good choice." I start emptying my current wallet Receipts, Id's, Trash, Discount cards to stores I have never heard of. Then I pull out the photo insert and it extends like a comically long accordian and the stuff that is being pulled out of the wallet is absurd. Industrial sized bottles of cleaning products, tools, dog toys etc. I am confused but before I can attain lucidity I wake up.

Dream Notes

the first dream i remember very few things.
Memory spore cloud, fringe,

At some point in this next dream I wake up for a second and go back to sleep. I close my eyes and concentrate the world back into existence. Then I held my thought and the world grew sharper and more solid. Then I imagined waving my hand in front of my face. Then I fell out of lucidity back into the dream.

I am a member of a gang of three. We are at my father's house which is being terrorized by a large brown bear. The bear has locked itself in my old bedroom. We have no weapons and I am carrying a table lamp like a crude club.

I hear a loud snap and a familiar meow from over in the dining room. I find my cat oscar trapped in a very large mouse trap with a slice of american cheese. I set Oscar free of the trap and make sure he's not too badly hurt. I hold him up in front of me under the cat armpits and tell him not to play with mouse traps. He meows at me. I set him down and he scampers away.

I am startled by the sound of a gunshot. One of my team now has a double barreled shot gun. I ask him where he got it and he just looks at me funny.

My father comes in the room to tell me that the UPS man has come and is outside. I go outside and see two men in brown suits rooting through a UPS truck. I tell them that I am fighting a bear in the house and ask them if they have a weapon or a gun they can spare me. The guy says sure and gives me what I think at first is a hand gun but when I look at it again I see that it's some kind of cattle prod shock stick. It's a shiny metal black stick about 2 and a half feet long with an orange rubber grip near the middle and a dull rubber handle with a white button. I push the button and hear the crackle of a stun gun. I say thank you and head back inside the house.

My dad and the rest of the team are sitting around the kitchen table drinking cups of coffee. I ask them what the hell is going on and what happened to the bear. They respond that the bear is still in my room. I show them the stun gun, say grab the shot gun and we all move over to where the bear is. I kick the door to my room open and hit the bear with the shocker. The bear roars and I scream and I am being shocked too. I look at my hands and see that I'm not holding the orange safety grip but rather the front of the gun. I can't stop shooting the thing because if I do the bear will get me.

I move my left hand firmly onto the orange safety grip and lead the bear out into the living room. I yell "Shoot the fucking thing!" The guys and my father are sitting around the coffee table, drinking coffee and eating small cookies. I freak out. "what the fuck is going on?! Kill the goddamn bear!"

They look really surprised. One guy reaches for his shotgun and when he fires it, the safety is on. He turns the safety off and fires again. The gun is unloaded. The bear hits me in the face and runs down the hallway through my dad's bathroom into his bedroom.

We go into the bathroom and there is an FBI agent sitting fully clothed in a Full Tub of warm water. He tells me to calm down, that everything is under control. The bear is Roaring in the next room. I am pissed off. I ask him why hasn't law enforcement done anything about this bear.

He tells me to watch my mouth before he starts checking into my record.

I say, oh great, you are going to check my record instead of helping me get this fucking bear.

Then I wake up.

Mom is sick. She sees an ogre in an italian shirt and it keeps her from collecting unemployment. Uncle gives her a new job so she can collect the insurance. I feel kind of weird about that. Uncle assures me it's ok.

Visiting the leader of the water people to get their support in battling the fire people. The water lord gives me his blessing that coats me in a protective aura of a clear blue gel. Now I am travelling to various people around the north pole seeking support. I'm standing in an enormous throne room made of smoking translucent blue bricks. The floor is cold beneath my feet.

6-19-11
Bear's halloween costme is a dog and owner. Large elaborate dog costume mostly gray and black body paint and a dog collar. People wonder if there some kind of psycho-sexual compnant to it. I have the song 'city of new orleans' stuck in my head.

6-20-11
Lost Oakleys
Riding in the 4runner with R. He is driving. My wife is riding in the back seat. He puts an expensive pair of sun glasses back there and later can't find them. Later, he calls her to tell her that he has to help him pay thousands of dollars for new sunglasses. After he gets off the phone with her. I find the sunglasses on the floor of his truck. He takes them and puts them on without saying a word. It pisses me off that he won't say sorry or thank you or that he even tried to get her to pay for them in the first place but I just seethe.

New House
Driving through a neighborhood for the possibility of a new house to buy. The one we look at is very cheap but a hole as been blown entirely through one side. The hole looks like a wrecking ball has come through. It's white on the outside and the inside has an unpainted light brown/gray look to it. The house was formally owned by a former friend who abandoned his wife after she got pregnant with her first kid. Though you can see sunlight coming in through holes in the ceiling, the house is fully furnished with stuff that looks like it came from other old houses. There is a poppazon chair and a matching set of old green love seats. Also in the living room is an empty Entertainment console with a few wires that connect to nothing.
I walk into a second room and there are several bookshelves, half full. On the shelves are several novelizations of comic books and a few special edition comic books, including a signed edition of the death of superman from 1997 and full bound set of X-Men novels that don't exist, including the first 2 movies and then Wolverine the movie, and the sequel, Wolverine Unbound. I start putting a few of the books in my bag.

I am travelling with a small boy, trying to get him to his parents. He has been seperated for a very long time. His father is a very powerfull warlord and intends to have my travelling party killed. As we travell in caves and forests it is vitally important to keep watch and look for signs of assassins or other attackers. The boy does not want to return to his family but with some persuasion. I am able to get him to understand how much his father cares for him, and that even though his father may be a cruel tyrant at times, he still has a depth of feeling and a capacity for pain and loss. The child agrees to see his father before making a final decision about whether or not to return to his home city. I accept that as a fir comprimise.

At that moment we are attacked by ninja assassins. Catching us totally by surprise, I am only albe to produce a flash of blinding light from my fingertips and eyes. The ninjas are disoriented just long enough for the child to be spirited away to safty by one of my leutinants as I prepare to kill these that attack me. I can feel my insides roasting like a power battery.

I am an airbender learning to work with fire. A festival day is soon approaching and I want to perform bending tricks at a showcase. Before I can do that, I must complete a task that involves catching a chicken lizard as it runs through low brush in a forest.

I woke up this morning with the Wha-oh Wah-oh Stuck like glue Song stuck in my head. It was so hot last night i didn't get much good sleep

I am a storm trooper working for governor Willie Stark. The bulky plastic armor is itchy. The Boss has been unable to intimidate a local judge who won't give him his endorsement for US senator. Red faced and angry, the boss screams at me to "give him to princess."

I'm carrying my blaster rifle and leading the judge down a long white hallway. I'm talking to the judge and asking him if he would please just go along with the game plan, that he has one more chance. The judge steadfastly refuses and I feel very disappointed. I say "hey judge, this is your last chance" and when he shakes his head no, I push a red button that opens up a hole in the hole underneath his feet.

I turn on the monitor in the hallway and see the judge standing up in about 2 feet of water filled with trash. He is thrashing around in a panic and only just has time to stand up before a giant tentacle swoops behind him and wraps around his neck. The judge tries to scream and pulls franticaly at the tentacle as he is dragged underwater.


I push the red button again and the screen goes black. Shaking my head, I begin the long walk back to the governor's office.

It's the 1890's. I am one of the first union organizers. I am trying to convince a group of factory workers to stand up to their employers for safer working conditions. The trouble is I can't get anybody to attend the meetings. Whenever anyone is seen working with me, the fat cat factory foerman has them beaten or killed. The boss is a big sweaty bald man with a greasy comb-over, an ugly black suit with a gold chain across the solar plexus of his jacket. I manage to finally get a meeting together with 2 other workers at the factory, and as I start to tell them what the effects of the chemical run-off into the working camp water supply, two big thugs crash the meeting. One guy is wearing a black turtle neck, tight white pants a pork pie hat and is slapping an ugly blackjack into his left hand. The other is small in a greasy white suit. With sharp features. They tell me I have one chance to break up this meeting before things get ugly. I tell the other two to run, that I would hold these two monsters off.