Timothy Paradox

I finally managed to tell Claire I liked her. It didn't go great (not outright rejection, but not enthusiasm either), but it felt like there was at least a chance.

Somewhat nightmarish dream in which I navigate a series of large, dark rooms connected by doors. It was very dark, and silent. I suspect there were monsters around, or at least I thought there were. There was a group of people, but I was pretty far ahead of them, scouting ahead or something. Or collecting objects to progress, like a game of Resident Evil. After a while, I had enough and I told Claire (who was with me) this was crazy and clearly a job for the military. Predictably, she would have none of that and wanted to go on. Not wanting to disappoint (and knowing that with her, it's her way or the highway), I begrudgingly agreed and lead the party further into the maze of dark rooms.

In in some kind of high-tech base, attacking the control room held by Italian fascists. I killed everybody in there, but was then attacked by reinforcements coming from an outdoor corridor linking the allied and axis headquarters (architecture is once again almost impossible to explain). One of them possibly controlled some kind of mech suit. Anyway, they were all dead in the end. I crossed the corridor and went into the other headquarters. Once again, more fascists. But these guys didn't know I was the enemy yet, and the guards greeted me as if I was a friend. I think I realized I forgot something and decided to 'load the game' to get to the previous HQ faster. Instead of ending up in the room full of dead fascists, the corpses had despawned and the room was now occupied by allies. One of these allies, however, angrily told me I wasn't allowed to be here. I said I liberated this room just a few minutes earlier, and that that should earn me at least 15 seconds to do what I needed to do here. Nope. A big black guy easily two heads taller than me (and muscles like a body builder) told me to 'get out, or else'. Slightly stunned, I obeyed. It didn't sit well with me, though. Not at all. I was fuming, in fact. I went back inside, and attacked the guy whom I felt had insulted me. I knew he was armed (I wasn't), but I had the element of surprised so he couldn't draw. We wrestled for a bit. He was strong, stronger than me, but I appeared to possess skill in martial arts (looked like Jiu Jitsu), as I used techniques I do not master in real life. I used his strength against him to force him to the ground. I reached for his shotgun and took it. After some more wrestling, I managed to aim it for his head and pull the trigger. The 'click' sound told me there were no shells in the chamber. He laughed, thinking he'd won. I inserted a shell, and racked the slide. He reached for the weapon, hoping to turn it against me. It didn't work. I had the gun aimed for his head, and was ready to pull the trigger when I woke up.

The dream faded, and I fantasized about the shot blowing his head off. I hadn't really thought it through, though. If I killed him, wouldn't all the other allied forced immediately kill me, considering they were all armed? Perhaps I didn't care, as this felt like a video game, anyway.

I was flying over a city surrounded by water. I think my brother was there too, flying an airship. We were kind of playing around. I tried to bring down enemies by manipulating the ocean water below me and pulling them out of the air, or by pushing them away with TK. Sadly, none of these powers worked. My notes say Yoda was somehow involved, too. At some point I flew low over the city, and ran sideways across a fence (an impossible wall run). Someone on the street saw me. All of this was accompanied by a loud Eurobeat soundtrack. At some point, people and buildings become huge (or I became tiny) and I had to start flying really, really high for some reason. Samuel L. Jackson?

In a second dream, I flew along a coastline. But I felt strangely out of control. Spinning around my axis while I kept going in the same direction. An older person on shore noticed me.

I flew towards another city. This one had a very specific 'feel' to it. It was near a big waterfall like the Niagara falls. I (of course) felt the need to fly through the waterfall at full speed. The soundtrack of this dream was 'Long Tall Sally' by Little Richard. I landed somewhere on the riverbank (sloped, open piece of land) and helped rescue a black kitty together with some other guys. Carrying bottles of compressed air? The entire time, I felt like I was controlling the plot.

I was on a train. I looked out of window, and everything looks really weird. Everything was 'blocky' and in black and white. I thought this was evidence I was inside a computer simulation (rather than a dream). I was studying the environment because I was convinced there were patterns that were trying to tell me something. A sign, or something. The other characters on the train were very annoying, though. I hit one of them, and he vanished. I felt guilty because I hurt one of the simulations, and I felt like I wasn't supposed to do that. Like, my anger would make me fail the challenge. Later on, I had to solve puzzles. I moved through a shopping area inside a train station. I fantasized about blowing everything up if the DCs kept annoying me. At the end of the dream, I sat on a ledge of sorts, and threw something down to the DCs. We were solving a puzzle together?

I was with a couple of family members at my late grandmother's house (moeke). My mom was there, as well as my brother. And a few others, but I don't know who exactly. Oddly, my grandmother was there too. She'd dead. I noticed her being there was... odd. But it still felt so normal. I wondered if anyone else could see her. I think they said they had no idea what I was talking about. But then I saw my brother in conversation with my grandmother. She said something, and he replied. I confronted my brother, and asked him who he was talking to - as what he said could only make sense in response to someone asking him a question. I was confused as to why everybody appeared to be lying. The situation didn't make any sense. Unless... And that's when I figured that they were *all* characters, and I was the only real person in the room. I forced myself to wake up, as I was already drifting close to full consciousness anyway.

There was a kind of war going on. It was the modern day, and I was in a trench of sorts with other people of my 'side'. At some point, they were all gone and I was surrounded by enemies. I had my chest pressed against the side of the trench, which was odd because I wasn't being restrained or anything. I was surrendering, I guess. I still had my pistol in my hand, and for a second a tried inserting a fresh magazine (presumably to kill some of the enemies by surprise) but I decided against it because I knew I'd undoubtedly get killed myself. So I surrendered, but I still had my gun in my hand, and I couldn't drop it because my arm and hand were stuck between the wall and myself. To release the gun and show them my hands, I'd have to move. And I knew the slightest unexpected movement might cause them to shoot. Anyway, after a lot of shouting, eventually they got my gun and I showed them my empty hands. Curiously, they didn't restrain me or tie me up. In the next scene, I was at a large round/oval table where the enemies who had defeated us were seated. All of their head honchos were there, but everyone was dressed like regular people. Even more bizarrely, they gave me my gun back, loaded and everything. I laughed at their naivety. I think they realized and took it back? Not sure. Anyway, I sat down next to one of them, and made the finger gun gesture to their leader sitting across from me. I guess I could have blown him anyway, but I like living so I didn't. Both 'sides' had a colour. Mine was orange, theirs was blue. The 'meeting room' was bathed in orange light, which I thought was odd. At some point I heard reference to a Professor X, who I think was our leader. I think my side was into developing super-powered mutants, or something. The blue guys opposed it. They said something like 'Professor X won't succeed". My plan was to escape at some point and rejoin my own side. I really despised the enemy and would not let them win.

I was having a vivid dream, which I have forgotten now. When I woke up from this dream, I found myself on a bus. I was standing, and when I woke I mumbled something as I was still finishing a sentence in the dream I was having. A man gave me a weird look, and I felt embarrassed. I told him I could sleep while standing, as this is apparently what had happened. I looked out the window, and saw it was the street leading to my old high school (Prins Kavellei, heading north). I felt very confused. I didn't know how I got there. I didn't remember getting on that bus. I knew there weren't supposed to be any buses on that particular road. In fact, I had no idea what day it was, what time it was, or what I'd done earlier that day. Then, I woke up again. This time, I found myself back in 'reality'.

I was having a "Wolfenstein: The New Colossus" themed dream. I was in a small town vaguely reminiscent of the Roswell level. I was supposed to go on a solo mission to do something important. I'd have to enter a manhole in the street. Someone wished me luck. An old colleague, Patrick Sevenans, approached me and reluctantly (he hated me) wished me luck. He handed me a handful of small change, for some reason. Just a euro or two in small coins. At some point, I saw an übersoldier attacking a civilian, or friend. I rushed in, trying to protect this person. But I was too late and (s)he was dead. I had no time to pull out my guns, so I just punched the armored übersoldier with my bare hands. This was 'realistic', not game mechanics. I had a kind of super-strength, apparently. I knocked off his helmet, revealing its horrific face. I hit his face a few times until it died. Before long, there was gunfire everywhere and the 'stealthy' mission became a massive shootout.

When I woke up, I had Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" in my head.

I had money issues (as I do in real life, been unemployed for too long) and I'd agreed to take part in a bank robbery with a few professional bank robbers. I'd never committed a crime before, so I was very nervous. In the car on our way to the bank, I got cold feet. And the rest of the crew, not exactly nice people, noticed. They said that if I got nervous, the deal would be off. So I said I was good. We all had carbines, but they assured me we'd rob the bank at night and almost no one would be around. They lied. They used a lot of force and violence and I think people got hurt. I complained that this wasn't what we agreed. I was worried enough about being charged for robbery, and I didn't want accomplice to murder being added to that list. And I'm generally speaking not a murderer. These other guys... were nothing like me.

I was in a city in Turkey, and suddenly some kind of earthquake shook the ground. People assumed it was a nuclear explosion for a while, but then we realized it wasn't. Don't know what it was. Just a quake, I guess? People were standing on this rickety bridge above a pool of water (in the city center). I wanted to get off as I realized it might collapse.

We were traveling to Barcelona in a big bus, like I did a decade ago with school (twice). We got out to take a break, on an empty road somewhere halfway to our destination. There was a massive raging fire on the horizon. One of our teachers (math teacher Van Achteren) came up behind me and talked about a kind of app for merging pictures on her phone? For photographing the fire, I guess. My notes say our history teacher Peeters was there too, but I don't remember him. Notes also say "chocolate egg NL". Yeah, no clue what that means. In a later scene, I was in a hotel room, presumably in Barcelona. We had to share rooms with other students, just like how it was in real life. I realized I'd forgotten a lot of stuff back home, and I had almost nothing on me (just my wallet). I walked on a balcony outside of the hotel, wrapped in a blanket. The wind was blowing so hard, I could barely stand, let alone walk. I couldn't keep up with the others, who had already left. I was terrified of being left behind.

Something about Doom savegames?

I had somehow ended up back in time, probably the early 50's (or before). I was showing off an AR15 carbine to a few guys, who were messing around with a Thompson SMG (where is why I assume it was no later than Vietnam, where the M4 replaced the Thompson). Someone, possibly my former friends Barra and Fenn (yes, these guys again) judged me for being such a braggard. For my crimes of being a "bad time traveler" I was punished somehow. I recall my Fenn walking past me as if he didn't know who I was or hadn't seen me. Barra, someone who hates me even more than Fenn does, did stop to speak to me. I was quite emotional and felt a lot of regret. Not for anything in particular, just generally. I don't remember what he said. Nothing too damning. He came uncomfortably close while speaking to me, but didn't care because of how emotional I was. Anyway... I found another job as security guard for some rich guy, to guard his villa. Using the AR15 carbine.

I was sitting at a table with four other people. Two of them were my friends, one old man (70+) and a younger guy my age. The others was the current Führer of the Third Reich, which was a middle-aged woman (I guess this was some kind of alternate 2017 in which Germany won the war), and her daughter who was my age. The daughter was pure evil. I think me and my friends were taken prisoner. The daughter was interrogating us. She was really, really evil. And crazy. Like one of those stereotypical comic book villainesses. She was hiding a gun under her clothes, and because I didn't answer one of her questions, she shot the older man in the head. Obviously killing him instantly. She aimed her gun at me, and I could pretty much look into the barrel. It took a lot of nerve to keep my composure, knowing one wrong word and she'd shoot me. She suggested I had inferior blood. I conviced her my grandmother was born in Germany and served in the Hitlerjügend (she did). I think she was satisfied I'd given her what she wanted. She became really seductive at some point, and appeared to be coming onto me (but all in a really 'acted' and insane way). Suddenly, she kissed me. I didn't resist, as quite frankly she was really attractive (and my life depended on it). She 'asked' me to marry her. It wasn't a question. I think she just wanted me as her pet. I said yes, knowing I'd stay alive at least, and I'd be really close to someone who would one day inherit control of the Reich. In a later scene, I could see myself sitting in a leather couch in the family mansion. I was wearing my black shirt with white stripes.

Notes of this dream say "kind of massage", but not entirely sure what it means. I think it happened in a really strange place. A large open space covered in perfectly still water (no waves), and with floating "platforms" in it. I was doing "gravity jumps" between them, using the reduced gravity of the dream to do backflips and sideflips and stuff. Trying to impress my former classmates who were sitting on other platforms nearby. At some point we jokingly jumped into each other for laughs.

I'm in a large warehouse-like space, but dressed up for people to live in. I knew this was where Ilia S. lived (an Israeli scientist active in the life extension community). I remembered being there before, but it was a complete mess that time. It still was, but less so. There were large bookcases, and books laying around everywhere. There was a secret laboratory underneath the warehouse. Underneath THAT secret lab was an even more secret lab, where a woman worked. Another Spanish (male) scientist was present in the warehouse. At some point I open a fridge, and see a can of what I assumed was whipped cream. Fancying some whipped cream, I took the can and sprayed half the can into my mouth and ate it. A scientist points out to me it wasn't whipped cream at all, but an experimental serum. Table cleaner?

There's a large fantasy-style battle. I think there were dwarves? Anyway, after the battle ended in a 'tie' or a truce, I go look for REDACTED. I wanted to comfort him and promise I'd never give up trying to save his daughter. I thought I'd found him, but instead I found a small 'burrowing alien creature' mourning for the loss of its partner (during the battle?). Yeah... A bit later, I'm standing by a kind of large basin filled with water. Like a huge swimming pool (like 300 feet long at least) made of concrete. I notice the water appears to move as I focus on it. I focus harder, and 'will' the water to start bubbling. Eventually, the whole pool bubbles violently, and I realize I must be some kind of 'hydromancer'. Then, I thought about another trick. I focused all my power, and forced to split the water like how Moses split the dead sea. It was amazing. It required me to focus so hard, I was screaming from the sheer willpower it took to maintain the effect.

After waking, I recalled all the dreams I've had in which I caused accidental tsunami waves just by being near an ocean. And I mean HUGE tidal waves, the size of a skyscraper. Subconscious can be so much more powerful than consciousness, and these monster waves show just how powerful hydromancy can be (effortlessly too, compared to how much focus I needed to split the water consciously)!

Very pleasant dream. I was laying in a bed. In the same room, my older brother was sitting at a desk, working/playing on a computer. I think the doorbell rang, or someone knocked on the door, and two women entered the room. One woman had black, medium-long hair and looked young, in her late teens. The other was blonde, and appeared early middle-aged. I assumed it was her mom. When looking at them again, I noticed the blonde looked younger now, in her twenties probably. The black-haired girl also looked to be in her mid-20's now. She looked at me, and we made eye contact. She smiled. A gorgeous, seductive smile. I immediately knew she liked me. Feeling brave, I winked at her. Then pretended to continue sleeping, even though I was definitely not sleeping. I don't know how the scene evolved from there, but both my brother and the blonde had disappeared. The girl got in bed with me, and stuff happened from there. I'll save you the details. But it was good. A lot of passion for a complete stranger. At some point she asked what I did for a living. I answered truthfully (unemployed but looking), but to be honest I wasn't very interested in small talk and just wanted to keep going.

At some point, I started losing the dream. The image froze and I felt I was awake (but eyes still closed). I focused to continue the scene, and it worked. I was trying various positions, and while doing this the dream froze again. Her face looked like a badly textured CG character before rendering. This time, I knew the game was up and I could no longer stabilize the dream. I was quite annoyed I couldn't climax in the dream before waking up.

This dream was memorable because in reality I feel fundamentally unlovable, and this DC made me feel... attractive? Also, when the dream started getting unstable, I knew how to stabilize it, implying partial lucidity.

Notes say 'heroes in city', not sure what that refers to. I do vaguely remember some kind of 'time portal' in a wall (an ancient Japanese wall, with gorgeous paintings). There was a soundtrack. At some point Hiro Nakamura shows up (comes back from the past or future), but with prosthetic limbs, and a coffee machine on his head?

Second dream. Dad being a dick again and talking shit about me because the model airplanes I made as a child look like shit in his opinion. He says I'm as lazy as my "good-for-nothing brother". I feel powerless and enraged by it. I fantasized about murdering the shit out of him by ripping off his head. That's what tends to happen when I feel powerless. It's like I become a cornered wild animal. I get really, really mad. I woke up breathing rapidly, still upset. And disturbed by the level of imaginary violence I just unleashed on someone who did nothing to me in real life, and I'm supposed to love.

I'm in a room (in the sewers?), trapped. I look for a key to get out. Eventually I do. Eventually I'm driving a big vehicle (a truck?) through an industrial area closely resembling one of my (many) previous workplaces (tank farm, BASF). Someone sees me. It's my worst enemy from that time, Paul. I try to flee but give up after a short while. Turns out if not him at all, but a female fire safety officer (or whatever the role is called in English, we call it "veiligheidswacht" or "brandwacht). We talk for a bit, then I manage to leave. Back in the sewers now. A man-sized demon sees me. I flee, quickly climbing a ladder to a higher level. I crawl through a narrow space, but my passage through the next small room is blocked by a kind of smaller pig-demon. A fat guy is also stuck in that room. I kill the pig-demon with five shots from my shotgun. I got outside, onto the streets. My getaway driver arrives. The cops are watching from behind the windows of the building next to us. I tell the fat guy (who had a Hispanic name) to hurry up and get in the car before the cops get suspicious.

I was seated at a large table together with many of my former classmates. We were eating sandwiches (pistolets). I specifically remember T. Leyssens.

Long dream, but all I got is mostly forgotten one-word notes. I think I kidnapped the double of the headmaster of the school (a woman) and temporarily locked her up in a closet of sorts. I told her I was going to "make her rich" before I closed the closet door. I think I had some kind of scheme planned out that would make use of her physical resemblance to the headmaster to make lots of cash. I went to tell 'the others'. Including my former boss from work (P. Bosmans), who seemed as skeptical as always.

I was at home (apartment, 4th floor), and my mother was there too. A woman 'rings' the doorbell. I see her face on the screen of that doorbell gizmo of which I don't know the English name. Intercom? She looks like a stereotypical hooker. She orders me to let her in. Or else. She pulls out a revolver, and makes it clear that if I don't let her in, she'll break in and hurt us. I get super pissed off, a shot of adrenaline going through me, and tell her "mine's bigger" (I own an AR15 carbine and Remington 870 shotgun). As I walk towards the bedroom to get my artillery, I tell my mother to call the cops. I open the gun locker, and decide to settle for the Glock 19. It takes forever to get the gun ready, as the law requires the weapon to be unloaded, secured with a trigger lock, and ammo stores separately. As I was messing around with the bullets (my fine motor skills were impaired by the adrenaline rush), I felt like I was fully prepared to kill that woman. The idea that it felt so easy kind of scared me. My plan was to open my bedroom window (which is right above the front door), and give her ONE chance to fuck off. If she tried anything, she'd be dead. Luckily, moments before I could put my brash plan into action, I woke up. Still stiff with real-world adrenaline.